Chapter II: Part 2
Sir JOHN MACDONALD, the Premier of Canada, though an eccentric leader, is a happy illustration of the most elevated statecraft. "He has been drunk," says the Toronto _Globe_, "for several days, and incapacitated for public affairs." Considering what Canadian affairs are (including Sir JOHN,) this does not follow. Evidently it is not his policy to keep sober. But Sir JOHN is often drunk, says the _Globe_; he was tight before Prince ARTHUR, and he rushes to the bottle whenever the Fenians give alarm. Now this strikes us as very good policy. It helps us to see how convenient it was for Sir JOHN to magnify a few O'BRIENS and O'SHAUGHNESSYS into an army with green banners, and how opportunely the Dominion became intoxicated with its fears.
* * * * *
_Mother_. "WHY, ROSIE, HOW LATE YOU ARE TO-DAY!"
_Rosie_. "YES, MA, BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT. THERE WAS A POOR LITTLE GIRL AT SCHOOL WHO HAD NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF HER, AND SO I HAD TO SEE HER HOME."]
* * * * *
COMIC ZOOLOGY.
Order-Reptilia.
THE VIPER.
The supposition that this snake prefers a file to any other species of nourishment is a vulgar error, and belongs to the same mendacious category as the stories that ostriches are fond of ten-penny nails and soldiers of hard tack. It is true that old files are sometimes bitten by vipers in localities where these serpents abound, but in the lizard and hop-toad they usually find metal more attractive. The viper, when in a state of repose, is of an olive-brown color; but, if trodden upon, turns rusty. He is about twenty-four inches in length, as you may see by applying a two-foot rule to him, but it is a good rule to keep two feet away from him. As a bosom friend he is not to be trusted--a fact in natural history that was discovered many years ago by a green countryman, who got into a bad box by placing a viper on his chest. It is a peculiarity of this serpent, that when held suspended by his posterior extremity he can not raise his head to a level with his tail. In consequence of this provision in the economy of nature, he finds it as impossible to make both ends meet as if he were a human prodigal. In this respect he presents a marked contrast to the hoop-snake, which has no more back-bone than a timid politician, and can put its tail in its mouth, and roll in any direction with the utmost facility. The viper was at one time supposed to have an envenomed tongue, and although this error has been exploded, it is as well to avoid his jaw if possible, as, when irritated, he is very snappish.
This snake, according to some naturalists, is oviparous, and according to others viviparous; but all authorities agree that it is viperous in the extreme. Serpents are generated in various ways; the horse-runner, for instance, being derived from the fibres of horses' manes and tails, which probably receive the breath of life in a mare's nest. That such is the origin of the horse-runner the reader can verify for himself, by putting a few horse hairs in a basin of water and watching them till they begin to squirm. Possibly the shorter fibres from the _caput_ of an African might in like manner produce vipers. The experiment is worth trying. There are several varieties of the species in this country; the most malignant and treacherous being the Political Vipers--snakes in the grass--bred from the spawn of the Original Cockatrices, and a curse to the land we live in.
* * * * *
WOMAN IN THE CENSUS.
A fresh blow has been struck at Woman's Rights! Gallant ladies, eager to cope with figures, have been compelled to yield to numbers--inferior numbers at that! Man, the minority, remains the popular tyrant of population. Women, the majority, don't count, can't count for any thing--even for women--at least in the sense of being Census-takers; for General WALKER has decided that Assistant Marshals LAVINIA PURLEAR and SARAH BURGOYNE (hear it, shades of NEY and BLUCHER!) are ineligible to such a warlike title. General WALKER is not firm in his mind that Marshals PURLEAR and BURGOYNE [would it be as well to say Marshal WALKER and Generals PURLEAR and BURGOYNE?] are feminine. "These appear to be the names of women," he says. Why might they not be the names of men? Is there no right or reason in these days of domestic revolution for men to name themselves LAVINIA and SARAH if they like it, and their wives like it? And suppose LAVINIA and SARAH that ought to be, or might have been, choose to call themselves MAHALALEEL and METHUSALEM--who's to prevent? Why should not the Rev. Mr.---- style himself Miss NANCY if he pleases? Why should not the Hon. Mr.---- rechristen himself BETTY if he has a mind to? H'm! A pretty pass we are coming to if these women folks who ask men's rights and take men's names won't lend us theirs! And alas, alas, ye lasses! What if some-day ye do indeed abstract our census, and marshal us into helpless minority. What if we have to disguise ourselves, and shave our beards, and change our names even to get on the police! Or will ye--ye bullying Syrens!--grow whiskers and wear pantaloons, and put us in station-houses, and clear us out of the Census altogether?
* * * * *
A LETTER FROM A FRIEND.
Friend PUNCHINELLO: Thee has doubtless sorrowed, in spite of thy motley, with those bereft at Richmond. Circumstances made that disaster a calamity which we have all felt in common. But thee knows that "Blessings come often in disguise." Let us find what small comfort we can in this thought.
Circumstances, however, alter cases. How different the feeling--how thin the disguise would have been--had our Capitol fallen, at Harrisburg! Before another Session we trust the proper spirit will move some underpinning there, for the greater good of the Commonwealth. It was formerly said that "Law is law;" but not even a Philadelphia lawyer now knows what law is or what law is not--for "any thing" is law here abouts. Of one result we may boast, if that be not sinful, we are ahead of thy wicked city.. Thee had thy delinquent Tax Collector, _but thee has him not_. We sorrowed, for we had him not, but now we rejoice in one whose name is--not BAILEY--but HILL. We did not want him, but got him involuntarily, as thee might get the small-pox.
Doubtless he will make it more up-Hill work than ever with our taxes, but, if he would only shoulder them and be off, what a blessing? For, verily, it cannot be said, as of old, that a man "heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them."
But, perhaps, thee pays taxes also? If so, thee can affirm to the gatherer, as well as thy friend,
PHINEAS BRODBRIMME.
_Philadelphia, 5th month, 9th day, 1870._
* * * * *
OLD IRON.
Somebody talks of the Iron Men of Congress. Does he mean the Cast-iron members or the Pig-iron members? For instance there are the rusty Heavy-weights, and then there are the fellows who are greedy about Tariff. Members of the scrap-iron and ten-penny nail order are, of course, not alluded to. All these are iron men, but, as every body knows, are not men of Iron. In view of its rusty legislation and legislators, we recommend Congress to hang out a sign--"Highest prices paid here for old iron."
* * * * *
Bar That!
The Toronto _Globe_ is at present treating the Premier of the Dominion to a course of lectures, advising him not to get drunk so often as he does. Now this is too much to expect, since the gentleman referred to has, by virtue of his official position, the run of the Bar.
* * * * *
CONDENSED CONGRESS.
SENATE.
MR. MORRILL expressed his views upon what he is pleased, for MORRILL is mirthful in his heavy way, to designate the reduction of taxes. He said that we had been for some time in a state of peace, and our expenses were not so large as they had been. Therefore he thought we might leave direct taxation alone. To be sure he was not prepared to suggest any specific reductions in direct taxation. But, doubtless, they would be made some day or other. In the meantime let us pile on the tariff. This was his notion of reducing taxation. Let the importers and the consumers who don't like it--
Learn how sublime a thing it is
To suffer and be strong.
Then the Senate betook itself to considering an appropriation for educating the colored infant. Mr. WILSON strongly approved it, not only on account of the colored infant, for whose education he did not in a general way feel any particular solicitude, inasmuch as the less educated he was, the likelier he would be to give his voice and vote to him, (Mr. WILSON,) and his like; but also because the appropriation would provide for a number of the supernumerary female school-teachers of Massachusetts, who had become a great trial to him, and particularly to his colleague, Mr. SUMNER.
Mr. SUMNER said "that's school," and explained that he believed he was venerated by the women of Massachusetts, but that their reverence for him was too great to allow them to approach him with importunities. Nevertheless, he was in favor of the bill, as tending to break down the accursed spirit of caste, and to disseminate throughout the South the three or more R's which he had so often had the honor of reverberating throughout the Senate.
Mr. YATES approved of the bill. It was his general principle to vote for any thing that looked to the disbursement of money. He was particularly in favor of this measure, because he wanted an uniform education for every body. He didn't want any body else to know more than himself, and he didn't want to know more than any body else. (Voices--You don't.) Take spelling. There was only one correct method of spelling--the one that he pursued. And yet he had never found any other person who agreed with him in it. Evidently, this was not right. He demanded that the children of the country should be taught to spell on proper principles, so that his works might be intelligible to posterity, as they were not to his contemporaries.
Of course Mr. SUMNER seized the occasion to quote crowds of authorities on education, which debilitated the Senate to a dissolution.
HOUSE.
Mr. LYNCH wanted to revive American commerce in behalf of the ship-builders of Maine. If he were a judge, as a celebrated namesake of his once was, he would do it by hanging a majority of members of the House he had the honor of addressing. In default of that he wanted them to legislate sensibly upon it.
Of course nobody paid any attention to the suggestion. The House did itself credit by refusing one land-grab, out of a thousand or so submitted.
Mr. BUTLER actually produced again his bill to annex San Domingo, and refused to be comforted, because every body laughed.
Then came up the Tariff. COVODE said he supposed it would be admitted that he had as little regard for the right and wrong of the thing as any body. But this thing had really gone so far that any man with any regard for his re-election must protest. Nobody but SCHENCK and KELLEY cared about the tariff. Every body cared about the taxes.
SCHENCK could not regard COVODE with any other sentiment than disgust. He wanted a duty upon foreign oysters. The oyster of Long Island and the oyster of New-Jersey ought not to be trodden down by the pauper oysters of Europe.
* * * * *
OUR PORTFOLIO.
Personal advertisements having reference to the matrimonial exigencies of divers widows, old maids, and bachelors, are not without their influence upon the sympathies of the age. Particular attention has been recently directed toward an announcement made in a Cleveland paper to the effect that "Two widow ladies, strangers in Cleveland, wish to form the acquaintance of a limited number of gentlemen with a view to happy results. Please address in confidence,--."
One involuntarily regrets that a prospect thus bounded by an horizon of "happy results" should have been confined to a "limited number of gentlemen".
There is nothing so calculated to impair the usefulness of what purports to be a purely benevolent enterprise, as its selfishness. If a widow, or any number of widows, really possess the means of realizing "happy results" with a "limited number of gentlemen," they should either remove the limitation themselves, or make known the secret to those who would be less sparing of the joys which it is capable of communicating. A quack who peddles a valuable remedy upon which he may have stumbled, and yet refuses to disclose its ingredients for the benefit of the whole medical fraternity, violates the _esprit du corps_ of the profession, and is by general consent deemed a fit person to be kicked out of it. Therefore, if any widows or single ladies in Cleveland have knowledge of any "happy results" which they advertise to share with a limited number of gentlemen, we shall deem them unworthy of their sex, unless they explain the process by which these results are attained, for the benefit of those who are fast verging toward the autumnal stage of maidenhood.
* * * * *
It may well be doubted whether the thought ever occurred to ADAM that one day or other a hen would be charged with the care and custody of a brood of goslings. The pastimes of Eden were perhaps not favorable to vaticinations in the line of Natural History, but in the progress of the world since those most primitive times, men have come to contemplate the spectacle of that familiar barn-yard fowl made wretched by the aquatic propensities of her supposed offspring, without a particle of astonishment. The wicked and unfeeling even go so far as to seek amusement in her misery. Her "ducklings" and other symptoms of maternal agony at beholding the feathered darlings tempting the dangers of a neighboring duck-pond, do not move their stony breasts. On the contrary, they decidedly relish that sort of thing, and greet with positive hilarity the efforts of some sympathizing rooster to cheer her. Fie, upon such natures! If they must have an outlet for their ribaldry, let them take PUNCHINELLO'S advice and select such instances as that recently furnished in Sacramento, where a hen took charge of a nest of kittens, and resolutely maintained it against the parent cat. Here the case was different. The hen had become a trespasser. She had no business with kittens. There was no hypothesis by which she could claim them as her own. Kittens are not hereditary in the family of fowls, and she knew it. It was an usurpation without any pretext of justification. What would become of us if such a precedent could be extended to the genus _Mammalia?_ Hundreds of rapacious old maids would be seizing all sorts and all sizes of babies from agonized mothers, and asserting for themselves the hallowed duties of maternity. Our infant days would have been days of ceaseless motion. We should have been shuttle-cocked from maiden to mother and from mother to maiden after a fashion calculated to defeat the wise purposes of ipecac and paregoric, and to frighten our natural curls into a state of painful perpendicularity. The mere presentment of such a possibility, carries its refutation, and puts the aggressions of this Sacramento hen in the category of outrages which all society is banded to suppress. If you must laugh, O generation of scoffers, make your jokes and gibes the instrument of protecting the altars of all such feline households as may be thus assailed.
* * * * *
Flag and Rag.
What is the difference between a railroad danger signal and a lost pocket-handkerchief?
The one is a red flag, the other is a fled rag.
* * * * *
_Lecturer._ "THERE IS A CUMULATIVE APPROXIMATIVENESS, SO TO SPEAK, A PERIOD WHEN THE RECALCITRANT CORPUSCLES BEGIN TO "-------
_Stenographer._ "CON-FOUND THE FELLOW! I KNEW HE'D BREAK MY PENCIL WITH HIS INFERNAL JAW-SMASHERS!"]
* * * * *
FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE.
[BY ATLANTIC CABLE.]
ROME.
Being uneasy about our agent's course at the Vatican, I have come over to Rome to see about it. He is an Irishman, with a little of Father TOM in him, and has got into a "controversy" with his Holiness about infallibility. Our African bishop (otherwise PHELIM BURKE) insists that PUNCHINELLO is infallible! The Pope says this is ridiculous! Father PHELIM replies that "there are two that can play that same game." I found them in the midst of this when ANTONELLI ushered me into the Papal presence. PIUS was up on his feet, talking Latin like a crack student of the Propaganda. PHELIM had his sleeves rolled up. ANTONELLI, with a "_Pax vobiscum_" got the two contending powers quieted down; and, after a proper salutation from me, we began our talk. His Holiness is not much on English. Says he, "I speak vat-I-can English." Had he said _non possumus_ to it, it would have been better. However, PHELIM translated him; so we got on.
"Your Holiness enjoys, I hope, a good constitution?"
"The _constitutio de fide_ is, indeed, very good. Catholics must every where subscribe to it."
"Dr. DÕLLINGER, I trust, don't disturb your appetite?" "_Anathema maranatha!_" which means (said PHELIM,) "Oh no, I never mention him." Whereupon PHELIM, who had breakfasted on gin-and-milk, began to hum that tune. I at once trod upon his toe, and he stopped.
"On the whole, what does your Holiness think of the prospect?"
"From this window, it is very fine. But I'm getting a little dim-sighted.
"Don't you see that crowd of people coming up?"
"No I don't--it's only a herd of cattle from the Campagna."
"Take my glass. There, now; don't you see, I am right?"
"Yes," and the old man crossed himself, "It is so; I was mistaken."
"Thrue for you!" gobbled out PHELIM; "we've got to make a note of that! PUNCHINELLO never made the likes of a mistake!"
"But, _what's in your glass?_ I see strange men there. GARIBALDI, and MAZZINI, and HYACINTHE, STROSSMEYER, DÕLLINGER, DUPANLOUP, and CUMMING, all together! I see a troop of schoolmasters; a larger one of newspaper-venders; and a whole army of _colporteurs_, each with a bag of Bibles on his back! And, what do I see? They enter ST. PETER'S; they leave the door wide open. Did I hear it? They are singing LUTHER'S Hymn!"
The old man fell now into his seat, and I took the glass from him. "Only one of his attacks," said ANTONELLI. "He is not quite so strong as he was." "Thrue again," said PHELIM. With that sense of propriety for which your representative has over been distinguished, I took PHELIM by the arm and retired.
Poor Pius! He means well, and if we only had him for a while out West, where I came from, we might make something sensible out of him yet. But, when a man will live so far away from the Rocky Mountains as away over here, what can be expected? We can't civilize the whole world at once.
Father PHELIM, by the way, is to be proposed as the new King of Spain. His father's uncle's second cousin by the mother's side partook of a good deal of BOURBON. That's reason enough, you know especially as they only want a King LOG.
FRANCE.
Those infernal machines, so called, with--which the Emperor was supposed to be about to be blown up, turn out to have been pewter plates. Out of one of them the bottom had been cut, and the edges rolled up; and this gave rise to a terrible suspicion. Two thousand people have been arrested in consequence.
That _Press Ass_ has been at his blunders again. He telegraphed to me that a conspiracy was afloat to enact a kind of petticoat government. He meant to tell me some gossip about Madame PATTI-CAUX. Then he wanted me to believe that the "smaller catechism" talked about at Rome was the catechizing of SMALLEY of the Tribune, concerning GUSTAVE FLOURENS. That man never will learn. PRIME.
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| EXTRAORDINARY BARGAINS IN |
| |
| READY-MADE PARIS AND DOMESTIC SILK, POPLIN, BAREGE, MUSLIN, |
| PIQUE, LINEN |
| |
| AND |
| |
| LAWN DRESSES. |
| |
| Paris-Made Silk Sacks and Cosacks. Ladies' Embroidered |
| Breakfast Jackets. |
| |
| A CHOICE VARIETY OF LADIES' UNDERWEAR, ETC. |
| |
| PARIS AND DOMESTIC MADE LADIES' HATS, BONNETS, FEATHERS, |
| FLOWERS, TRIMMING RIBBONS, _Magnificent Sash Ribbons, Velvet |
| Ribbons, etc., etc._ |
| |
| A. T. Stewart & Co., |
| |
| BROADWAY, |
| |
| Fourth Ave., Ninth and Tenth Sts. |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| A. T. STEWART & CO. |
| |
| ARE OFFERING |
| |
| 100 pieces Plaid and Striped Spring |
| |
| SILKS. |
| |
| 100 pieces Grisaille Silks. |
| |
| ROUBAIX SILKS, HIGH LUSTER, ESPECIALLY |
| ADAPTED TO SUMMER WEAR. |
| |
| FRESH GOODS, JUST RECEIVED. |
| $1.50 and $1.75 per yard. |
| |
| A LARGE LOT OF JOB SILKS |
| OF AN EXTRA QUALITY AND LUSTER, |
| From $1 PER YARD UPWARD; |
| |
| LESS THAN HALF THEIR COST. |
| |
| PLAIN BLACK TAFFETAS, GROS GRAINS, |
| FAILLE, etc., etc. |
| |
| At Greatly Reduced Prices. |
| |
| MOIRE ANTIQUE SILKS, WIDE, ONLY $3 PER YARD. |
| |
| PARIS CHAMBERY GAUZES, 70¢. PER YARD, UPWARD. |
| |
| CREPES DE CHINE FOR DRESSES AND TRIMMINGS, |
| ONLY $3.75 PER YARD. |
| |
| BROADWAY, |
| |
| 4th Ave., 9th and 10th Sts. |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| A. T. STEWART & CO. |
| |
| ARE RECEIVING BY STEAMERS, etc., |
| |
| NEWEST AND LATEST DESIGNS IN |
| |
| MOQUETTES, AXMINSTERS, |
| ROYAL WILTONS, |
| BODY BRUSSELS, |
| Crossley's Velvets, |
| Tapestry Brussels, |
| etc., etc. |
| |
| AND THEY HAVE OPENED THEIR LAST PARCEL |
| |
| OF |
| |
| ENGLISH BODY BRUSSELS, |
| AT $2 PER YARD, |
| |
| ROYAL WILTONS, |
| $2.50 AND $3 PER YARD, |
| |
| AXMINSTERS, |
| $2.50 AND $4 PER YARD. |
| |
| To which they particularly request the attention of their |
| customers and the public. |
| |
| HOUSEKEEPING GOODS IN EVERY VARIETY, |
| AT VERY POPULAR PRICES. |
| |
| BROADWAY, |
| |
| Fourth Avenue, Ninth and Tenth Streets. |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| A.T. Stewart & Co. |
| |
| HAVE REPLENISHED ALL THEIR POPULAR |
| STOCK OF DRESS GOODS, AT 25¢. PER YARD AND |
| UPWARD. |
| |
| THE BEST IN QUALITY AND LOWEST IN |
| PRICE YET OFFERED. |
| |
| BROADWAY, |
| |
| Fourth Avenue, Ninth and Tenth Streets. |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| SPECIAL |
| |
| PUNCHINELLO PREMIUMS. |
| |
| By special arrangement with |
| |
| L. PRANG & CO., |
| |
| we offer the following Elegant Premiums for new Subscribers |
| to PUNCHINELLO: |
| |
| "Awakening." (A Litter of Puppies.) Half Chromo, size, |
| 8-3/8 by 11-1/8, price $2.00, and a copy of PUNCHINELLO for |
| one year, for $4.00. |
| |
| "Wild Roses." Chromo, 12-1/8 by 9, price $3.00, or any |
| other $3.00 Chromo, and a copy of the paper for one year for |
| $5.00. |
| |
| "The Baby in Trouble." Chromo, 13 by 16-1/4, price |
| $6.00 or any other at $6.00, or any two Chromos at $3.00, |
| and a copy of the paper for one year, for $6.00. |
| |
| "Sunset,--California Scenery," after A. Bierstadt, |
| 18-1/8 by 12, price $10.00, or any other $10.00 Chromo, and |
| a copy of the paper for one year for $10.00. Or the four |
| Chromes, and four copies of the paper for one year in one |
| order, for clubs of FOUR, for $23.00. |
| |
| We will send to any one a printed list of L. PRANG & CO.'S |
| Chromos, from which a selection can be made, if the above is |
| not satisfactory, and are prepared to make special terms for |
| clubs to any amount, and to agents. |
| |
| Postage of paper is payable at the office where received, |
| twenty cents per year, or five cents per quarter in advance; |
| the CHROMOS will be _mailed free_ on receipt of money. |
| |
| Remittances should be made in P.O. Orders, Drafts, or Bank |
| Checks on New-York, or Registered letters. The paper will be |
| sent from the first number, (April 2d, 1870,) when not |
| otherwise ordered. |
| |
| Now is the time to subscribe, as these Premiums will be |
| offered for a limited time only. On receipt of a |
| postage-stamp we will send a copy of No. 1 to any one |
| desiring to get up a club. |
| |
| |
| Address |
| |
| PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO., |
| |
| P.O. Box 2783. No. 83 Nassau Street, New-York. |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
_Rural Old Lady_. "BARE-BACK, INDEED!--THAT'S NO WORD FOR IT, MY DEAR!"]
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| "The Printing House of the United States." |
| |
| GEO. F. NESBITT & CO., |
| |
| General JOB PRINTERS, |
| |
| |
| BLANK DOOR Manufactuars, |
| STATIONERS Wholesale and Retail, |
| LITHOGRAPHIC Engravers and Printers, |
| CARD Manufactuars, |
| ENVELOPE Manufactuars, |
| FINE CUT and COLOR Printers. |
| |
| |
| 163, 165, 167, and 169 PEARL ST., |
| 73, 75, 77 and 79 PINE ST., New-York. |
| |
| ADVANTAGES: All on the same premises, and under immediate |
| supervision of the proprietors. |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| Bowling Green Savings-Bank, |
| 33 BROADWAY, |
| |
| NEW-YORK. |
| |
| Open Every Day from 10 A.M. to 3 P.M. |
| |
| Deposits of any sum, from Ten Cents to Ten |
| Thousand Dollars, will be received. |
| |
| Six Per Cent Interest, |
| Free of Government Tax. |
| |
| INTEREST ON NEW DEPOSITS |
| |
| Commences on the first of every month. |
| |
| HENRY SMITH, _President_. |
| |
| REEVES E. SELMES, _Secretary_. |
| |
| WALTER ROCHE, EDWARD HOGAN, _Vice-Presidents_ |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| SARATOGA "A" SPRING WATER. |
| |
| A POSITIVE CURE FOR HEADACHES A GREAT REMEDY FOR INDIGESTION |
| AND DYSPEPSIA.--Keeps the blood cool and regulates the |
| stomach. Persons subject to headache can insure themselves |
| freedom from this malady by drinking it liberally in the |
| morning before breakfast. |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| PRANG'S CHROMOS are celebrated for their close resemblance |
| to oil paintings. Sold in all Art Stores throughout the |
| world. |
| |
| PRANG'S LATEST CHROMOS: "Four Seasons" by J.M. Hart. |
| Illustrated Catalogues sent free on receipt of stamp by L. |
| PRANG & CO., Boston. |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| PROSPECTUS OF |
| |
| POMEROY'S DEMOCRAT. |
| |
| FOR 1870 |
| |
| UNPARALLELED INDUCEMENTS FOR SUBSCRIBERS |
| |
| POMEROY'S DEMOCRAT for 1870 will be the best newspaper ever |
| printed. It has now a larger circulation than ever |
| before--the largest circulation of any political paper ever |
| printed, and is now so firmly established it can not by any |
| possible means fail. |
| |
| Mr. Pomeroy, Editor and Proprietor, will devote his entire |
| time and attention to editorial and literary labor for THE |
| DEMOCRAT alone, each week adding to the power, interest, |
| worth, and variety of the reading matter it will contain. |
| With the people to back him--abundant means of his own at |
| his disposal, he is devoting his life to this paper, the |
| people who support it, the cause it advocates, and the |
| principles it defends, without fear, favor, or hope for |
| reward. |
| |
| Read the terms and inducements! |
| |
| In addition to its political worth, THE DEMOCRAT will each |
| week contain: |
| |
| Pomeroy's Saturday Night Chapters. Letters of |
| Correspondence. Editorials on different topics. Pomeroy's |
| Social Chat with Friends. Terrance McGrant's Letters. Full |
| Market Produce, and Money Reports. A Splendid Masonic |
| Department. Happenings Here and There. Brief Items of |
| Satire, News, Sarcasm, and Burlesque. Discriptive Letters of |
| Travels. Occasional "Pomeroy Pictures of New York Life." A |
| First-Class Agricultural Department. |
| |
| In short, everything to make it the best and most readable |
| paper in the United States. |
| |
| Politically it will be Democratic--red-hot and reliable |
| earnest and continuous in its war against the bonded |
| interest of the country, and determined in its labors for |
| that earnest Democracy, which believes in the _restoration_ |
| and not the _reconstruction_ of the Government. |
| |
| Thankful to those who, in every State of the Union, and |
| almost every county of the United States, have so generously |
| sustained THE DEMOCRAT before its removal to New-York, and |
| since, we offer the following premiums--as an evidence of |
| gratitude to those who forward from time to time |
| subscribers: |
| |
| SINGLE COPIES, per year ... $2.50 |
| |
| TEN COPIES. one year to one post-office (we writing the |
| names of subscribers on each paper), and one copy for the |
| year to the one who sends us the club ... $20.00 |
| |
| TWENTY COPIES. one year to one post-office (we writing the |
| names of subscribers on each paper), with an extra copy for |
| the year, and a copy of each of Pomeroy's two books, |
| "Sense," and "Nonsense," to the getter-up of the club ... |
| $40.00 |
| |
| THIRTY COPIES. one year to one post-office (we writing the |
| names of subscribers on each paper), with two extra copies |
| for the year, and a copy of each of Pomeroy's two books, |
| "Sense," and "Nonsense," and "Saturday Night," just |
| published to the getter-up of the club ... $60.00 |
| |
| WILCOX AND GIBBS SEWING MACHINES AS PREMIUMS |
| |
| For fifty-six subscribers, with $112, a $56 machine. |
| |
| For sixty subscribers, with $120, a $60 machine. |
| |
| For sixty-five subscribers, with $130, a $65 machine. |
| |
| For one-hundred subscribers, with $200, a $100 machine. |
| |
| |
| IMPORTANT NOTICE |
| |
| If you can not conveniently raise subscribers enough to |
| entitle you to a machine, as a premium, send what you can, |
| with two dollars for each subscriber so sent, and the |
| balance in cash for such priced machine as you so desire, |
| when the paper and the machine will be sent as directed. |
| |
| For example, where thirty subscribers and $60 are sent, it |
| will require $26 in cash in addition to the subscription |
| money to purchase a $56 machine; or, for forty subscribers |
| and $80, sixteen dollars additional will be required to |
| purchase the same priced machine, and son in proportion. |
| |
| We offer these unrivalled machines, believing them to be the |
| simplest, most durable, useful, and desirable sewing |
| machines in the world, with a view to giving workingmen, or |
| deserving woman a chance to obtain a machine for much less |
| money than in any other possible way. |
| |
| There is hardly a township in the United States, but a |
| person can, in a day or two, earn for himself a family |
| machine, actually worth the price asked for it--the same as |
| sold at, when purchased of Wilcox & Gibbs, the manufactures. |
| |
| In many cases a few gentlemen might, by sending their names |
| to us as subscribers, receive for themselves THE DEMOCRAT |
| each week, and a machine for some poor widow or other |
| deserving woman, thus giving her the power to care for |
| herself and family, and live independant. |
| |
| Each machine we send out will be _perfect_, and of the very |
| best. |
| |
| Address all letters on business connected with the office to |
| C.P. Sykes, Publisher, P.O. Box 5,217, New-York City. |
| |
| Letters on political matters should be addressed to M.M. |
| Pomeroy, and if the writer wishes them to be seen only by |
| the person to whom they are address, they should be marked |
| private, when, if Mr. Pomeroy is not in the city, they will |
| be forwarded to him immediately by mail, express, or special |
| messenger. |
| |
| In ordering papers, be careful to write the names of |
| subscribers with the post-office, county, and state very |
| plain, that there may be no mistakes in entering names or |
| forwarding papers. |
| |
| Retail price of the paper when sold by newsdealers or |
| newsboys, SIX CENTS |
| |
| Additions can be made to clubs at $2 per year. |
| |
| _Specimen Copies sent free_ |
| |
| In forwarding sums of money for clubs of subscribers, drafts |
| or money orders should always be used, as, if lost or |
| stolen, they can be duplicated, and no financial loss will |
| be sustained by the parties interested. |
| |
| |
| C.P. SYKES, Publisher, Box 5,217, New-York City. |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
S. W. GREEN, PRINTER, CORNER JACOB AND FRANKFORT STREETS.
Comments
Log in to leave a comment.
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 09, May 28, 1870Chapter II: Part 2
0%23 min left in chapter