Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 22, August 27, 1870

Chapter III

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The author tried to persuade the editor to allow him to write "to be continued" after the last thrilling chapter, but the editor was inexorable, hence this chapter, "in the arms of"--a little red-headed policeman.

G.F.F.F.S. smiled gently, but, as soon as she had opened her eyes, and had cast them on the red head, freckled face, pug-nose, and little eyes of MIKE MCFLYNN, she sprang to her feet. It was better than forty gallons of hartshorn. She had wasted a faint.

"_Perdidi animi deliquium_," said she.

"Mother of MOSES, but you was heavy!" said MCFLYNN.

But she did not wait, and a pair of number eight shoes might have been seen by an inquisitive reporter, cutting around the corners and stamping up seven flights of stairs.

MORAL.

When the paternal turnip solemnly points to 10-1/2, G.F.F.F.S. puts her number eights on the mantel, looks reflectively at a sore-eyed kitten, and falls into polysyllables.

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HOMODEIFICATION.

Late advices from China convey the intelligence that the American-Chinese General WARD, who died in the service of the Celestial empire, has been postmortuarily brevetted to the rank of a "major god," and is now regularly worshipped as such by JOHN PIGTAIL.

Possibly the antithesis to this may turn up on the cards, here. In the course of events the bronze idol to which our PHILLIPSES and SUMNERS used to bend the knee, has been prostrated from his pedestal by the Fifteenth Amendment. Coolie labor, with its possible abuses, may engage the attention of the philanthropists, next, and we may yet behold JOHN PIGTAIL on a pedestal, in the character of an American "major god."

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"LUCUS A NON," ETC.

In the culinary department of a newspaper we find a recipe for making "bird's nest pudding," which would surely make the pigtail of a JOHN Chinaman stick straight up on end. The component parts of the pudding are apples, sugar, milk, five eggs, and vanilla. Perhaps the inventor of the pudding once found a bird's nest with five eggs in it, and has thus essayed to immortalize the interesting fact.

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Bullet Proof.

The fact of the young Prince Imperial having picked up a bullet on the field of Saarbruck is significant It proves that, like a true BONAPARTE, he is prompt to take the Lead.

_Regular Customer._ "ALONZO, BRING ME SOME BEANS AND TOMAYTESES."

_Waiter._ "YES'M. "WILL YOU HAVE 'EM ON ONE PLATE OR ON TWO PLATESES?"]

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Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 22, August 27, 1870Chapter III

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