Chapter I: Roast Beef, Medium

II. REPRESENTING T. A. BUCK
III. CHICKENS
IV. HIS MOTHER'S SON
V. PINK TIGHTS AND GINGHAMS
VI. SIMPLY SKIRTS
VII. UNDERNEATH THE HIGH-CUT VEST
VIII. CATCHING UP WITH CHRISTMAS
IX. KNEE-DEEP IN KNICKERS
X. IN THE ABSENCE OF THE AGENT

ILLUSTRATIONS

“'And they call that thing a petticoat!'”

“'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,' he announced, glibly”

“'That was a married kiss--a two-year-old married kiss at least'”

“'I won't ask you to forgive a hound like me'”

“'You'll never grow up, Emma McChesney'”

“'Well, s'long then, Shrimp. See you at eight'”

“'I'm still in a position to enforce that ordinance against pouting'”

“'Son!' echoed the clerk, staring”

“'Well!' gulped Jock, 'those two double-bedded, bloomin', blasted Bisons--'”

“'Come on out of here and I'll lick the shine off your shoes, you blue-eyed babe, you!'”

“'You can't treat me with your life's history. I'm going in'”

“'Now, Lillian Russell and cold cream is one; and new potatoes and brown crocks is another.'”

“'Why, girls, I couldn't hold down a job in a candy factory'”

“'Honestly, I'd wear it myself!'”

“'I've lived petticoats, I've talked petticoats, I've dreamed petticoats--why, I've even worn the darn things!'”

“And found himself addressing the backs of the letters on the door marked 'Private'.”

“'Shut up, you blamed fool! Can't you see the lady's sick?'”

“At his gaze that lady fled, sample-case banging at her knees”

“In the exuberance of his young strength, he picked her up”

“She read it again, dully, as though every selfish word had not already stamped itself on her brain and heart.”

“'Not that you look your age--not by ten years!”'

“'Christmas isn't a season ... it's a feeling; and, thank God, I've got it!'”

“No man will ever appreciate the fine points of this little garment, but the women--”

“Emma McChesney ... I believe in you now! Dad and I both believe in you.”

“It had been a whirlwind day.”

“'Emma,' he said, 'will you marry me?'”

“'Welcome home!' she cried. 'Sketch in the furniture to suit yourself.'”