Chapter XI: Dubotté Attempts to Train His Wife

A few days later, Dubotté said to his wife:

"My dear love, we shall have two people to dinner to-morrow; tell the cook to be careful with the dinner, and, above all things, don't forget the sweets; I don't enjoy my dinner, you know, unless I have sweets."

"Yes, you have a very sweet tooth."

"Every man who loves women must love sweet things."

"Ah! you love them too well, you bad boy!"

"Sweet things?"

"No, women! If you loved only your own wife, it would be all right."

"My dear love, I might retort: I love _crême au chocolat_! But if you should always give me that for dinner, I might get tired of it."

"What does that mean? that you care no more for me than you do for a _crême au chocolat_?"

"That was a little joke. Think about your dinner for to-morrow."

"Whom have you asked? My two dear friends, Madame Lambert and her sister, I am sure."

"No, I haven't asked your friends. Madame Lambert takes snuff, and I consider it a detestable habit in a woman. Let her smoke, if she wants to; I can stand that; there are some very pretty women who smoke, nowadays. But to carry a snuff-box! horror! When she takes out her handkerchief, you would think you were in a porter's lodge. With her sister it's something else: whenever you look at her, she throws her head to one side and shakes it and blinks her eyes."

"That isn't her fault; it's a nervous trouble."

"I don't say it is her fault, but I don't dare to look at people who have that sort of trouble; I am always afraid that I shall do just what they do. I have asked two gentlemen to dinner; that will be livelier, not so strait-laced; we can laugh and enjoy ourselves. There'll be Bruneau, one of my fellow clerks in the department----"

"Oh! I don't like your friend Bruneau; he's good for nothing but to smoke and drink beer, and doesn't enjoy himself anywhere except in cafés. As soon as dinner's over, he'll want to go to the café, of course. So polite to me! If he would only go alone, I wouldn't care a rap; but he always takes you with him!"

"Oh! no, not always; only once in a while, to play a four-handed game of dominoes; he's very strong at it."

"And who's the other?"

"The other--can't you guess? It's the young man who was obliging enough to escort you home the other evening--Monsieur Callé."

"Have you been to his house?"

"I was on my way there when I met him. He told me all about his cousin, and we had quite a long talk; he seems a very pleasant fellow."

"That's funny, for he hardly spoke a word to me."

"He looks as if he was very bashful. However, I asked him to come to dinner to-morrow, and he seemed much flattered by the invitation."

"What's the sense of having him to dinner?"

"My dear love, we must have a little company, deuce take it! we can't live like bears!"

"You never ask _my_ friends!"

"If there were any pretty women among them, I'd invite them fast enough, never fear! but they vie with one another in ugliness."

"That does not prevent their being agreeable!"

"For my part, I find them mortally tiresome."

Young Callé, who was deeply touched by Dubotté's invitation, did not fail to appear promptly, after taking the most minute pains with his costume; for his bashfulness did not prevent his being a good deal of a dandy. Éléonore greeted her quondam cavalier graciously enough, although he could not succeed in uttering the compliment he tried to address to her; the little woman felt more at ease with a bashful young man, and she liked him much better than Monsieur Bruneau, the frequenter of cafés.

The latter was a man of forty years, neither handsome nor ugly, but always carelessly dressed. There was always a certain disorder in his costume, although his clothes themselves were as fine as other men's. But, generally speaking, it is the way clothes are worn that makes all the difference, and we see men very well dressed who never look so, while others, even in the simplest costume, seem to be dressed with the greatest elegance. Monsieur Bruneau never wore gloves, he had a sort of dirty aspect, and smelt of tobacco a mile away. He passed all the time he was not employed at the department in playing dominoes and drinking beer or absinthe. To his mind, women were of less importance than the double-blank. But Dubotté was much attached to Bruneau, because when he desired to keep an appointment with one of the fair sex he had only to make a sign to his friend, who never failed to say:

"Just come to the café for a few moments; those domino fiends are waiting for us; we'll play the best two games in three, then you can come back to your wife."

Dubotté would assent, promise Éléonore to return very soon, and pass the whole evening away from her. It was small wonder, therefore, that such friends were not at all welcome to madame, and that she preferred to them a young man who was so bashful that he stumbled over a compliment.

Dubotté received Callé as if he had known him for years; he shook hands with him effusively; a little more, and he would have embraced him. Dinner was served, and, in the midst of the conversation, Dubotté exclaimed:

"Pardieu! I know now why Dodichet played that joke on poor Mirotaine; it has just come back to me. One of our mutual friends, a poor fellow named Lucien, is in love with Mademoiselle Mirotaine.--Did you know that, Monsieur Callé?"

"Yes, monsieur; I have heard Madame Mirotaine say so; but as the young man has nothing, they refuse to give him Mademoiselle Juliette."

"Exactly; Lucien told us about it not long ago; he was afraid that some rich man would marry the girl, who has no dowry, but who is very pretty.--Don't you think she's pretty, Nonore?"

"Oh, yes! to those who like brunettes."

"And I remember that Dodichet said to Lucien: 'Don't you want me to help along your love affair by playing some good practical joke on your old skinflint of a Mirotaine?'--He called him an old skinflint, because he's very close-fisted, very miserly; you must have noticed that?"

"I have never paid any attention to that, monsieur."

"Well, he didn't miss fire."

"Oh! but that was a very scurvy trick for him to play--to get himself and his friend invited to dinner!"

"And by Mirotaine! For my part, I think it was very clever! Dodichet is really much cleverer than I supposed."

"What does he do?"

"Mon Dieu! nothing at all. He has run through all his property, making sport of everybody all the while! But what will it bring him to? Starvation!--for, in this world, we all have to do something in order to succeed--to make a good position for ourselves;--eh, Bruneau?"

"How's that? what?"

"Pshaw! he never attends to the conversation!"

"Give me something to drink; I like that better."

"I was saying that everyone has his goal here on earth; I know what mine is, and I shall get there!--You must have a goal, too, Monsieur Callé--you, too, want to arrive, eh?"

"Arrive where, monsieur?"

"I have no idea. What is your business?"

"I haven't any, monsieur; I don't do anything. I have ten thousand francs a year."

"That makes a difference--you have arrived!"

"I," said Monsieur Bruneau, "am one of the strongest domino players in Paris; and that was the point I wanted to arrive at.--Do you play dominoes, monsieur?"

"No, monsieur; I don't know how to play anything but bézique."

"Ah! do you play bézique?" cried Dubotté. "That's my wife's favorite game; she adores bézique.--Isn't that so, Nonore? aren't you very fond of the game?"

"Yes, my dear, I like to play with you."

"True; but you'd enjoy it much more to play with somebody else; for when you and I play, whether the stakes are two sous or ten, we never pay; how exciting that is! With anybody else, you stake your money in earnest, and defend it, which is always much more interesting."

After dinner, Dubotté immediately prepared a card table and said to Callé:

"You and my wife must play a game of bézique; she plays very well."

"With pleasure, monsieur; I will do whatever you wish."

"It would be much better for you to play with monsieur, my dear; you play much better than I."

"Not by any means! I tell you that you know the game perfectly."

"But what will you do while we play?"

"I will look over you, or talk with Bruneau; don't worry about me."

The little woman concluded to take the cards, solely to obey her husband, for she had a shrewd suspicion that he would not stay long to watch the game. Young Callé, who was ready to do whatever was wanted, seated himself opposite Éléonore, and said:

"How much does madame wish to play for?"

"I don't care at all."

"With how many packs?"

"I don't know."

"How much shall we play for?"

"Whatever you choose."

"Come, come, my dear love, don't be such a fool! Sapristi! you play with four packs, ten sous the game of two thousand; we make the five hundred and the fifteen hundred with treble bézique--that's how we always play.--Is that satisfactory to you, Callé?"

"Oh! anything suits me, monsieur."

The game began. Dubotté stood by the table at first, watching the game, and exclaiming from time to time:

"Bravo, Nonore, bravo! you play superbly; you will certainly win.--I think my wife will beat you, Callé!"

"I trust so, monsieur."

When the game was well under way, Dubotté made a sign to Bruneau, who said:

"I promised Durand to meet him at the café this evening; I must go."

"Ah! will Durand be at the café? I have a matter of business to talk over with him."

"Very well; come down there for a moment with me."

"I think I will, as it's only a step. I'll just go and say two words to him."

Seeing Dubotté take his hat, his wife cried:

"What, Philémon! are you going out?"

"For ten minutes only; I will come right back."

"And monsieur here?"

"Pardieu! I don't stand on ceremony with Monsieur Callé. He will certainly excuse me if I go out for a moment."

"Oh! as long as you choose, monsieur; don't mind me."

"Besides, you're playing cards with him. Play on! play on! make double bézique! I am coming right back."

"But, Philémon----"

"I shall be here in ten minutes."

And the fair-haired beau vanished with his confederate, Bruneau. Nonore sighed, but continued to play. She vanquished her opponent, who lost every game. Did he do it as a matter of courtesy, or was luck constantly on the young woman's side? She kept saying to him:

"Mon Dieu! monsieur, it must vex you to lose all the time!"

"No, madame; far from it."

"When you have had enough, we will stop."

"Oh! I never have enough, when I have the pleasure--when I am playing with--a person----Four aces, madame."

"Mark them, monsieur."

Midnight found Callé still at bézique with Madame Dubotté, who had won four francs, but was beginning to yawn. When the clock struck twelve, she said:

"You see, monsieur; this is what my husband means by ten minutes!"

"He must have been detained, madame, or his watch has stopped."

"No, monsieur; but it's always this way when he goes out alone, and it makes me very unhappy! It is midnight, monsieur, and I must not impose upon your good nature any longer. We have played enough. My husband is far from polite, I must say! He asks you to dinner, and then goes out----"

"Oh! madame--I assure you that--I much prefer--I did not care--especially as----"

"Good-night, Monsieur Callé!"

"Madame, I have the honor to salute you!"

And the young man took his leave without finishing his compliment.