Chapter XX: Cure Alls

The greater number of the proprietary medicines described in these pages are advertised as cures for a wide range of ailments, but usually there is some one disease for the treatment of which they are particularly recommended, so that it has been possible to classify them according to their alleged purposes. In very many other cases, however, the claims made are so wide that the article is put forward as a sort of cure-all. Thus one of the articles described is stated to cure such different disorders as constipation, rheumatism, St. Vitus’s dance, heart disease, rickets, sleeplessness, kidney complaints, and women’s special ailments, among many others, and is said to be “a real elixir of life in solid form”; the facts as to its composition, ascertained by analysis, show what the possibility of its being a “cure”—for heart disease, for instance—is. As to “Pink Pills,” another of the nostrums analysed, which probably owes its popularity partly to bold advertisement and partly to its alliterative name, the method followed appears to be to recommend them for different diseases in different advertisements; personal testimony, or what is put forward as such, from sufferers who have been cured, is made the basis of most of these, and illustrations are employed to catch the eye of the casual reader. Analysis showed that these pills were practically the ordinary iron-carbonate pills commonly called Blaud’s pill, which ought to be freshly made. The Pink Pills are of lower strength than usually prescribed, and to judge by the proportion of iron that was found to be in the higher state of oxidation, very carelessly prepared. They differ vastly, however, from other Blaud’s pills in the price charged for them. Thus the proprietary Pink Pills are sold at a little over a penny each, while coated Blaud’s pills can be bought retail at a few pence a gross, and wholesale in large quantities at a little over a penny a gross. The analyses of other proprietary preparations show a similar disparity between the market price of the drug supplied and the price charged to the person who is beguiled into purchasing; thus thirteen-pence-halfpenny, two shillings and sixpence, and two shillings and ninepence are the selling prices of nostrums, the ingredients of which are estimated to cost respectively one-eighth, one-third, and one-tenth of a penny.

Preparations of this class are not in all cases very clearly marked off from those recommended for some special disease, such as have been dealt with in previous chapters, for many of them are recommended for some one disease, of which nearly all others are asserted to be variations.

DR. MARTIN’S MIRACLETTS.

These wonders are supplied by a Medicine Co., from an address in London. The prices are 1s. 1½d., 2s. 9d., 4s. 6d., and 11s. per bottle. A 2s. 9d. bottle contained sixty tablets.

They are described on the package as:

A real Elixir of Life in solid form. The world’s
greatest remedy.

Cures Constipation, Indigestion, Headache, Neuralgia,
Anæmia, Nervous Disorders, Liver Troubles, Rheumatism,
Sciatica, Gout, St. Vitus’ Dance, Hysteria, Rickets,
Heart Disease, Kidney Complaints.

Cures Melancholia, Loss of Appetite, Sleeplessness,
Lassitude, Mental Depression, Brain Fag, Palpitation,
Stomach Disorders, Women’s Special Ailments and
Irregularity of Health, etc., etc.

A little book, entitled “A Fortune for All,” enclosed in the package, contained the following statements:

Whatever you may be suffering from do not worry or
fear, as Dr. MARTEN’S MIRACLETTS will be
certain to cure you!

Dr. Martin’s Miracletts make the weak and sickly become
strong and healthy, and the aged become youthful and
full of energy; the tired worn-out look being replaced
by an appearance of cheerfulness and vivid health. The
pale and wrinkled face with bad complexion gives way
to rosy cheeks and a clear skin; the thin gain flesh,
and the stout lose superfluous fat; indigestion quickly
disappears, the appetite returns, and a _new life_
is open to all.

A separate small slip enclosed in the package was worded as follows:

GUARANTEE.

Dr. Martin’s Medicine Company being absolutely
confident of the marvellous curative properties of
their Miracletts, will willingly refund the money
to any purchaser who has taken eighteen Miracletts
according to directions, and is not satisfied with the
results.

Much less conspicuously, on another slip chiefly devoted to the relative quantities in the packages of different size, it was stated:

Those whose ailments have been of long standing must
not expect immediate perceptible results, but with
a little patience and perseverance the result is
SURE.

The “Miracletts” consisted of sugar-coated tablets, the coating being coloured brown with ferric oxide (so-called chocolate coating). After removal of the coating they had an average weight of 4·3 grains; this included the weight of a strong coating of varnish, which was not removed with the sugar-coating. Analysis showed them to contain valerianates of quinine and zinc, iron oxide, menthol, kaolin in considerable quantity, and a little talc. A substance of extract nature was also present to the extent of about 5 per cent.; it possessed no characteristic taste or other property by which it could be identified; a resinous substance, which was found in small quantity, appeared to be merely the varnish with which the tablets were covered. The quantities of the different ingredients were determined as nearly as possible, and the results indicated the following amounts:

Quinine valerianate 0·4 grain.
Zinc valerianate 0·1 ”
Ferric oxide 0·3 ”
Menthol 0·03 ”
Kaolin and talc 2·3 grains
In one tablet.

The estimated cost of the ingredients of the tablets is 4d. a hundred.

THERAPION.

Another “medicine company,” also with an address in London, advertises three preparations which it calls Therapion. Therapion No. 1 was described as “the most efficacious remedy” for “all discharges”; Therapion No. 2 as “the great remedy for impurity of the blood, scurvy, pimples, spots, blotches, pains and swellings of the joints, gout,” and so on; and No. 3 as a new French remedy, by the use of which the shattered health will be restored.

The Expiring Lamp of Life Lighted Up Afresh,

and a new existence imparted in place of what had
so lately seemed worn, “used up,” and valueless.
This wonderful medicine is suitable for all ages,
constitutions, and conditions, in either sex, and it is
difficult to imagine a case of disease or derangement,
whose main features are those of debility, that will
not be speedily and permanently benefited by this
never-failing recuperative essence, which is destined
to cast into oblivion everything that had preceded
it, for this widespread and numerous class of human
ailments.

The claims for No. 3 being so inclusive, it was deemed sufficient to analyse it only. The dose of all three was stated to be the same—a piece about the size of a small marble three or four times a day; as the package, costing 2s. 9d., contained 1⅓ oz., and as it was referred to as providing twenty ordinary doses, a single dose would be about 30 grains. The substance consisted of a dark stiff paste smelling strongly of camphor. Analysis showed it to contain, in addition to camphor, glycerine, powdered liquorice, a bitter extract agreeing in all respects with extract of gentian, calcium glycerophosphate, and a trace of alkaloid; there also appeared to be a second extract present. The alkaloid, which amounted to 0·06 per cent. only, could not be identified with any of the ordinary medicinal alkaloids. There was some evidence that the second extract was that of damiana, and a paste made up with this and the other ingredients agreed well with the original; but extract of damiana possesses no distinctive characters by which it can be identified in a mixture. Quantitative determinations were made of those ingredients capable of it, and the proportions of the others estimated by comparison. The results indicated the following formula:

Camphor 2·5 parts.
Glycerine 24 ”
Powdered liquorice 40 ”
Calcium glycerophosphate 1·8 ”
Extract of gentian 5·0 ”
Extract of damiana (?) 8 ”
Alkaloid 0·06 ”
Water to 100 ”

In addition, there appeared to be present a slight trace of the oil of one of the umbelliferous fruits, probably anise or fennel. Disregarding the trace of alkaloid, the estimated cost of the ingredients for 1⅓ oz. is 2d.

PINK PILLS FOR PALE PEOPLE.

These pills, sold by the Dr. Williams Medicine Company, from an address in London, are stated to be manufactured in the United States of America. The price is 2s. 9d. a box, containing 30 pills.

The pills are advertised for a great variety of diseases, prominence being usually given to one disease in each advertisement; thus four long advertisements appearing simultaneously in different papers were respectively headed:

Afraid of being touched. So sore with Rheumatism. A
once-crippled victim tells how Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills
cleansed his system of Rheumatism.

Eczema expelled. Mr. John Chamberlain tells how
his sufferings from Skin Disease were cured by Dr.
Williams’ Pink Pills.

Sciatica’s Swift Pains rendered this Lady helpless. Her
case had defied treatment, but Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills
succeeded by curing the cause of Sciatica.

The Dark Days of Dyspepsia.... Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills
go to the very cause of the mischief.

Each advertisement included a long description of a “case,” and as a rule a picture was introduced. The following is from the concluding paragraph of the first of these advertisements, and the others ended in a similar way.

THE DR. WILLIAMS’ WAY.

When the muscles and nerves are tortured by poisons
in the Blood, be the result Rheumatism, Sciatica,
or Lumbago, the only way to a cure is to Enrich
and Purify the Blood. Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills, in
this way alone, have cured not only Rheumatism, but
Anæmia, Indigestion, Palpitations, Influenza’s
After-Effects, Eczema, Sciatica, St. Vitus’ Dance,
Spinal Weakness, the many forms of Nervous Disorders
dreaded by men; also the special ailments of women.

The pills were ovoid in shape and coated with sugar, coloured pink; after removal of the coating they had an average weight of 3 grains. Analysis showed them to contain ferrous sulphate, potassium carbonate (these two having reacted more or less completely, and about one-third of the iron having become oxidized to the ferric state), magnesia, powdered liquorice, and sugar. Since it has been stated that these pills contain arsenic, careful search was made for it, but it was not found, The pill is thus merely one of the many variations of Blaud’s pill. The quantities of the different ingredients found indicated the following formula:

Exsiccated sulphate of iron 0·75 grain.
Potassium carbonate, anhydrous 0·66 ”
Magnesia 0·09 ”
Powdered liquorice 1·4 ”
Sugar 0·2 ”
In one pill.

The estimated cost of the ingredients for 30 pills is one-tenth of a penny.

BEECHAM’S PILLS.

A box of these pills, advertised to be worth a guinea, is sold for 1s. 1½d., and the prime cost of the ingredients of the 56 pills it contains is about half a farthing.

In a circular wrapped round the box it is stated that “these renowned pills are composed entirely of Medicinal Herbs,” and cure Constipation, Headache, Dizziness or Swimming in the Head, Wind, Pain, and Spasms at the Stomach, Pains in the Back, Restlessness, Insomnia, Indigestion, Want of Appetite, Fullness after Meals, Vomitings, Sickness of the Stomach, Bilious or Liver Complaints, Sick Headaches, Cold Chills, Flushings of Heat, Lowness of Spirits, and all Nervous Affections, Scurvy and Scorbutic Affections, Pimples and Blotches on the Skin, Bad Legs, Ulcers, Wounds, Maladies of Indiscretion, Kidney and Urinary Disorders, and Menstrual Derangements.

The pills had an average weight of 1¼ grains, and analysis showed them to consist of aloes, ginger, and soap; no other medicinal ingredient was found. The quantities were approximately as follows:

Aloes 0·5 grain.
Powdered ginger 0·55 ”
Powdered soap 0·18 ”
In one pill.

NERVLETTES.

Of these pills, which are sold in a bottle, price 1s. 1½d., containing 27 pills, a circular enclosed in the package said

Coleman’s Nervlettes or Nerve Pills generate brain and nerve-force.

The pills were coated with talc; after removal of the coating they had an average weight of about 1½ grains. Analysis showed them to contain free phosphorus, quinine sulphate, a little powdered liquorice, and about 20 per cent. of a powdered vegetable tissue, which could not be identified; the remainder of the pill appeared to be of the nature of excipient only. The amounts of phosphorus and quinine were determined, and indicated the following formula:

Phosphorus 0·005 grain.
Quinine sulphate 0·07 ”
Vegetable powder 0·3 ”
In one pill.

MOTHER SEIGEL’S CURATIVE SYRUP.

The price of a bottle of Mother Seigel’s Syrup containing 3 fluid ounces is 2s. 6d.

Although this was described on the wrapper as “for dyspepsia” so many disorders were stated to be due to this cause, and amenable to treatment with this preparation, that it may fairly be included in this chapter. On the other side of the wrapper it was called “A cure for impurities of the blood,” and “A cure for dyspepsia and liver complaints.” In a circular enclosed with the bottle it was stated:

The symptoms mentioned above are the smoke of the fire
of indigestion—a fire that will eat out your very
vitals and sap your strength and vitality. For it can’t
be too often repeated that indigestion is the root
of a great deal of evil; the origin of a great many
disorders which no man quite understands how he came
by. And why this is can easily be explained. Disease
is poison; its symptoms are the manifestation of the
poison. Indigestion creates many dangerous poisons, and
is therefore the cause of many diseases.

So let us get rid of the smoke by putting out the fire,
and purify our blood and system with Mother Seigel’s
Syrup, which will sweep away the poisons and make us
healthy and strong.

Mother Seigel’s Syrup is a highly concentrated, purely
vegetable compound, having a specific action on the
stomach, liver, and kidneys.

Analysis showed the presence of free hydrochloric acid, which is not usually classified as a vegetable compound, tincture of capsicum, a bitter substance agreeing in its properties with aloes, and sugar (partly as invert sugar); the colouring and flavouring substances also present indicated that the sugar had been added in the form of treacle. Quantitative determination of those ingredients capable of it, and estimation of the others by comparison with known mixtures, indicated the following formula:

Dilute hydrochloric acid (_B.P._) 10 parts by measure.
Tincture of capsicum 1·7 ” ”
Aloes 2 parts.
Treacle 60 ”
Water to 100 parts by measure.

The estimated cost of the ingredients for 3 fluid ounces is one-third of a penny.

THE ILLS OF HUMANITY.

Several examples have been encountered in previous chapters of the system of getting into personal communication with a possible customer, and addressing to him a series of letters warning him of the dire consequences should he fail to purchase the advertiser’s “treatment.” Over and beyond the chance of frightening the customer, the system, which seems to have originated in the United States of America, has the advantages that a profession can be made of adapting the treatment to the individual case, that the price may be lowered if the charge first made is considered too high and that possibly, in return for this concession, testimonials and the names of other sufferers may be obtained. A letter-writing system of this kind is found at work behind the advertisement from which the following paragraphs are extracted:

Free! Free!

To the Sick and Ailing Everywhere.

The Cure for your Disease—Delivered Free—Free for the
Asking—Free to You.

To the sick—the suffering—to every man and woman
victim of organic disease—local trouble or broken
general health—Dr. Kidd’s offer of free treatments is
given in the absolute faith and sincere belief that
they can and will stop disease, cure it, and lift you
up again to health and vigour....

Rheumatism, kidney trouble, Bright’s disease, diabetes,
heart disease, partial paralysis, bladder troubles,
stomach and bowel troubles, piles, catarrh, bronchitis,
weak lungs, consumption, asthma, chronic coughs,
nervousness, all female troubles, lumbago, skin
diseases, scrofula, impure blood, general debility,
organic vital ailments, etc., are cured to remain and
continue cured....

Will you let me do this for you—will you let me prove
it—brother and sister sufferers? Are you willing to
trust a master physician, who not only MAKES this
offer, but PUBLISHES it and then sends the test and
proof of his remedies without a penny of cost to anyone
except himself?...

My home office is at Fort Wayne, Indiana, U.S.A., but
for the benefit of my thousands of English patients, I
have established an office in London. Please address
Dr. James W. Kidd, “Box” No. ____, E.C.

The advertisement was illustrated by the portrait of a man who, it might be assumed, was the “master physician” in question, but that in a book of some hundred pages, entitled “The Ills of Humanity, by Dr. James W. Kidd, Fort Wayne, Ind.,” issued apparently by “the J. W. Kidd Co.,” there is a portrait of Dr. James W. Kidd, which seems to represent a totally different person.

The book is principally occupied with a series of paragraphs on different complaints, rather over a hundred being dealt with; in the majority of cases the description leads up to reference to Dr. Kidd’s treatment, or medicines, etc. Dr. James William Kidd, the book states, possesses a profound knowledge of medicine, a remarkable power over disease, and has “among his resources remedies that enable him to treat successfully many diseases that are generally considered incurable.” After this the fact disclosed by analysis that his remedies seem in reality sadly lacking in originality and novelty, must excite a mild surprise.

It appears that persons writing to Dr. James W. Kidd, or the J. W. Kidd Co., receive a “Self-Examination and Consultation Blank.” In one instance in which the blank was filled up, the reply was as follows:

Diagnosis and Case Record. By Dr. James W. Kidd, Fort
Wayne, Ind.

For a complete description of your case, the probable
results and my method of treatment, see pages 46, 99,
29, 13, 9, of the pamphlet “The Ills of Humanity,” sent
you under separate cover.

I find that you are afflicted with Rheumatism,
Scrofula, Catarrh, Dyspepsia and Gastritis.

Rheumatism MEANS an excess of uric acid in the blood.

Scrofula is a constitutional disease almost synonymous
with tuberculosis.

Catarrh is an excreting inflammation of the mucous
membrane.

Dyspepsia (Indigestion) MEANS impaired secretion of
pepsin and consequent imperfect digestion.

Gastritis MEANS catarrh of the mucous membrane of the
stomach.

TAKE THE REMEDIES ACCORDING TO THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS:

One Tablet “A” before breakfast.
One Tablet “B” before dinner.
One Tablet No. 18 before supper.
One Tablet No. 7 after dinner and after supper.
One Tablet No. 45 on retiring.

This was accompanied by tablets marked “A,” “B,” and “18,” three of each, four marked “45,” and five marked “7”; also by a letter which appeared to be lithographed, and although the name and address were in the same writing and the same ink, they showed evidence of having been added afterwards. It seems probable, therefore, that, although professing to be a personal letter, it was one in regular use. It stated that Dr. James W. Kidd has “to-day selected and will forward to your address upon receipt of your remittance of 1_l._ the complete course of treatment,” the tablets sent being only samples. The letter apologizes for the smallness of the samples on the ground that the drugs “are very expensive.” The writer adds: “I have taken special interest in your case, because I want a cured patient in your immediate vicinity.” The tablets were analysed as completely as was possible with the small quantities sent, with the following results:

_Tablet A_ (triangular) was coloured externally with a salmon-pink dye; the outer coating was of sugar, and below this was a rather thick coating of chalk, forming a very hard and resistant covering to the tablet. The decoated tablets weighed about 3-¼ grains each; they contained 52 per cent. of sodium bicarbonate, and the remainder consisted principally of a bitter extract agreeing in all respects with extract of gentian; small quantities of potato starch and a substance of resinoid nature, which could not be identified, were also present. No other medicinal substance could be found.

_Tablet B_ (triangular) was coloured externally with a bluish-purple dye; the coating and the material of the tablets agreed in all respects with Tablet A, and the two were apparently identical.

_Tablet 18_ (circular) was white; the coating was of similar composition to that of A. The decoated tablets weighed about 3·8 grains each; analysis showed the presence of about 1 grain of sodium benzoate in each, together with a small quantity of a greenish, moderately bitter resin which could not be identified, and a trace of oil of wintergreen. Faint indications were obtained of a trace of an alkaloid, but not enough to amount to positive evidence. No other medicinal substance could be found; the remainder was of “extractive” nature.

_Tablet 45_ (circular) was coloured externally with a pink dye; the coating was of similar composition to that of A. The decoated tablets weighed about 1·1 grain each; the chief constituent was aloes, and there was also present a very small quantity of ginger extract, and a small quantity of a resin, which was probably jalap or scammony resin; also a moderate trace of alkaloid, which was not the alkaloid of nux vomica, belladonna, or hyoscyamus, but was not present in quantity sufficient to be identified; the only other ingredient found was a little potato starch.

_Tablet 7_ (circular) was not coated. The average weight of these was 6·5 grains each, and they consisted principally of charcoal, with some sugar and a very little saccharin.

“These special remedies are very expensive!”

BURGESS’S LION OINTMENT.

The results of an examination of Burgess’s Lion Ointment may be given here inasmuch as it will be seen that it is recommended for the cure of a great number of disorders. It is supplied in boxes at 1s. 1½d., 2s. 9d., 4s. 6d., 11s., and jars at 22s.; the 1s. 1½d. box contains 1 oz., and the next size 3 oz.

A circular wrapped round the box was headed “Amputation avoided—the knife superseded,” and continued:

E. Burgess’s Lion Ointment and Pills Have deservedly
become the popular remedies for curing all diseases of
the Skin, Old Wounds, Ulcers, Abscesses, (including
Tuberculous), Tumours, Polypuses, Piles, Fistulas,
Shingles, Venerea Sores, Whitlows, Broken Breasts, Bad
Legs, Boils, Scurvy, Scrofula (_King’s Evil_),
Scorbutic Eruptions, Poisoned Wounds _of all
kinds_, Stings, Venomous Bites, Scurf, Ringworm,
Itch, Corns, Chilblains, Chapped Hands, Cracked Lips,
Cuts, Burns, Scalds, Gatherings in the Ear, Toothache,
Earache, Neuralgia, Rheumatism, Gout, Sciatica,
Quinsey, Bronchitis, Asthma, Deafness, etc.; also
Ulcerous Affections of the Womb, for the treatment
of which apply to the Proprietor, personally, or by
letter, _in all cases free_. These invaluable
medicines have not been introduced as remedies for
any of the above complaints, or diseases, until
they have in each case PRACTICALLY proved
EFFECTUAL. To those who are suffering from
diseases _apparently_ rendering amputation
necessary, they are especially recommended, as they
entirely do away with the necessity for the same by
drawing all the cause of the disease from the affected
part, cleansing the blood, and restoring the system to
a sound, healthy condition.

They are vegetable preparations, and the Ointment
can be applied with perfect confidence to the most
tender skin. It is entirely free from all poisonous
ingredients, a great recommendation for the
nursery—for which it is invaluable.

In spite of the ointment being a “vegetable preparation,” analysis showed the principal ingredient to be lead oleate (lead plaster); this is blended with resin, wax, and fatty ingredients; vegetable extracts and active principles were found to be absent. It is not possible to separate the ingredients of an ointment like this sharply one from another; and, since the ingredients are not themselves simple bodies but mixtures liable to rather wide variations, they can only be approximately determined, and, as regards the lard and oil, even identification cannot be placed beyond doubt nor can small quantities of some other fats be certainly stated to be absent. These, however, are matters of minor importance. The composition given below has been checked by varying the analytical methods, as well as by comparison of various ointments prepared according to formulæ suggested by analysis. As a result of the investigation, the following formula was arrived at, which gives an ointment similar to the “Lion” ointment:

Lead plaster 13 parts.
Beeswax 20 ”
Resin 11 ”
Olive oil 12 ”
Water 6 ”
Lard, to 100 ”

The estimated cost of the ingredients is about 1Od. per lb. of ointment.