Chapter XIX: THE WONDERER.--This is a talker with whom one very often meets in

the walks of life. His peculiarity in conversation is the use of the word _wonder_ in almost every statement he makes and question he asks. It is a strange peculiarity, and I _wonder_ that he should so frequently indulge in its use; I _wonder_ that he does not discover some other mode of expression.

I once met with him at a railway station, and after wishing him the compliments of the day, almost his first word was, "I _wonder_ how long my train will be before it starts?" Scarcely had he time to get his breath, when he said, "I _wonder_ what o'clock it is." I looked at my watch and told him. Instantly he said, "I _wonder_ whether it rains; I hope not." I assured him that it did not when I came on the platform; then he quickly said, "I _wonder_ whether it will rain to-morrow; I hope not, for I have a long journey to take by coach."

I remember once travelling with a gentleman in a railway carriage between London and Bristol. Besides him and me there were three or four more passengers in the compartment, ladies and gentlemen.

Scarcely had we left the Paddington station ere he began _wondering_.

"I _wonder_," said he, "how fast this train goes."

Oh, about forty miles an hour, I replied.

"I _wonder_, does this train stop at Reading?"

I think it does, I answered.

Then whispering in my ear, he said, "I _wonder_ who that old gentleman is in yon corner of the carriage."

I really do not know; he is a stranger to me, I observed.

After a few minutes' pause, in which he seemed to have indulged a profound meditation, he again whispered in my ears, saying, "I _wonder_ who that lady is sitting next to you."

I cannot say, I replied.

The train travelled on at a great speed, passing station after station in rapid succession.

Again he said, "I _wonder_ how fast we are travelling now."

Oh, perhaps sixty miles an hour.

Quickly, he said, "I _wonder_ what station that is we have just passed."

I think it is Swindon.

After a brief pause:--

"I _wonder_ what time this train gets into Bristol."

It is due at ten o'clock.

"I _wonder_ will it be punctual."

Thus he was wondering ever and anon until we reached the Bristol station, where we parted, he going one way and I another; perhaps he _wondering_ who I was, and I _wondering_ who he was.

I remember meeting another Wonderer in the house of a friend of mine with whom I had intended to spend part of the evening.

Scarcely had we been introduced to each other when he said,--

"I _wonder_ whether the Republican or Democrat candidate is elected to the American Presidency."

That is a matter in which I do not profess to be posted up, I replied.

Then he said, "I _wonder_ how Lord Salisbury is getting on in the Conference."

From all the newspaper reports he seems to be getting on very well, I observed.

After a very brief pause, he said, "I _wonder_ whether there will be war. I _wonder_ whether Russia really means war or peace."

It is exceedingly difficult to say, I observed. Diplomacy is so involved, so intricate, so uncertain, that no one can say until all things are really settled.

"I _wonder_," he immediately said, "whether England will go to war."

I cannot say, I answered; I sincerely hope not.

"If there be war, I _wonder_," he said, "which way it would go. I _wonder_ whether Russia would take Constantinople. I _wonder_ whether she would crush Turkey. I _wonder_ what the effect would be upon our way to India. I _wonder_ how Germany and Austria would act in the matter."

After he had done, I said, I _wonder_ what time it is.

He said, "It is eight o'clock."

I must go, I have another engagement at half-past eight. So leaving my friend's friend in his _wonders_, I retired.

Another Wonderer I met with shortly after the one just named, when the conversation turned upon the new Bishopric of Cornwall.

"I _wonder_ what effect it will have upon the Methodists."

It will stir them up to duty and diligence, I hope.

"I _wonder_ who will be the Bishop."

I don't know.

"I _wonder_, will he be High Church or Low."

That I cannot say.

"I _wonder_ what he will do when he finds the county so filled with Methodists and Methodist chapels."

He will find something to do, I said, if he means to put them down.

"I _wonder_ whether he will put them down," he said.

You need not wonder about that, I rejoined.

"I _wonder_ why?"

Wonder why! He may as well try to put down the Cornish hills into plains or valleys.

The fact is, one can scarcely speak with any one, or enter any company, but the first utterance he hears is "I wonder."

Persons wonder what the weather will be; they wonder what time it is; they wonder who is going to preach on Sunday; they wonder what the preacher's text will be; they wonder what will be for dinner; they wonder who will be in the company; they wonder who is going to be married; they wonder who is dead in the next newspaper. In fine, this _wonder_ is a wonderful word in almost everybody's lips.

I _wonder_ whether some other mode of expression could not be adopted, which would either be a substitute for it, or somewhat of variation: so that the _wonderer_ may not be so common a talker in the circles of society.

But it is one thing to be _always_ wondering, and quite another thing to wonder occasionally, when the statement made, or question asked, is of such a nature as to _require_ or to _demand_ a _wonder_. It is possible to get into the way of wondering so that you will not know when you do _wonder_. It is supposed that persons only _wonder_ when things of great surprise and astonishment are heard, such as the fall of stars, the overthrow of cities by earthquakes, etc. At the reading or hearing of such things, it seems natural that persons should _wonder_. But why they should wonder at almost every trivial thing they ask in ordinary conversation is to me an inexplicable mystery.

There is another use of the word which I had nearly forgotten. In American society I remember this word is used in the opposite sense to what it is in this country.

"I have just come from New York by steamboat, and I saw Mr. Bouser on board."

"Well; I _wonder_!" is the reply.

"I saw the moon in the sky as I came here this evening."

"I _wonder_!" is the answer.

"Do you know I met a little girl of the Sunday-school in the street?"

"I _wonder_!" said a grave-looking lady.

"Mr. and Miss Lane are going to be married next week by Mr. Sparks."

"I really _wonder_!" was the general exclamation of the company, although they had heard it before at different times.

This wonderer in America is, if possible, more ludicrous than in England. In both he is ludicrous; and the sooner he changes into some other form of talker, more sensible, the better.