Chapter V: Part 5

The miller thus obliged my brother to turn the mill during the rest of the night. And as soon as daylight appeared, he went away without unfastening him, and returned to his wife’s chamber. Bacbouc remained some time in this situation. At last the young slave came, who untied him; “Alas! how my good mistress and myself have pitied you,” cried the cunning slave, “we are not at all to blame for what you have suffered; we have had no share in the wicked trick which her husband has played you.” The unfortunate Bacbouc answered not a word, so much was he fatigued and bruised with the beating. He got, however, back to his own house, and firmly resolved to think no more of the miller’s wife. The recital of this history, continued the barber, made the caliph laugh, “Go,” said he to me, “return home; they shall give you something, by my order, to console you for having lost the festivities which you expected.”--“Commander of the Faithful,” replied I, “I entreat your majesty not to think of giving me any thing till I have related the histories of my other brothers.” The caliph having shown, by his silence, that he was disposed to listen to me, I continued as follows:

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER’S SECOND BROTHER.

My second brother, who was called Bakbarah, the toothless, walking one day through the city, met an old woman in a retired street. She thus accosted him. “I have,” said she, “a word to say to you, if you will stay a moment.” He immediately stopped, and asked her what she wished. “If you have time to go with me,” she replied, “I will carry you to a most magnificent palace, where you shall see a lady more beautiful than the day. She will receive you with a great deal of pleasure; and will treat you with a collation and excellent wine. I have no occasion, I believe, to say any more.”--“But is what you tell me,” replied my brother, “true?”--“I am not given to lying,” replied the old woman. “I propose nothing to you but what is the fact. You must, however, pay attention to what I require of you. You must be prudent, speak little, and you must comply with every thing.” Bakbarah having agreed to the conditions, she walked on before, and he followed her. They arrived at the gate of a large palace, where there were a great number of officers and servants. Some of them wished to stop my brother, but the old woman no sooner spoke to them, than they let him pass. She then turned to my brother and said, “Remember, that the young lady to whose house I have brought you, is fond of mildness and modesty; nor does she like being contradicted. If you satisfy her in this, there is no doubt but you will obtain from her whatever you wish.” Bakbarah thanked her for this advice, and promised to profit by it.

She then carried him into a very beautiful apartment, which formed part of a square building. It corresponded with the magnificence of the palace: there was a gallery all round it; and in the midst of it was a very fine garden. The old woman made him sit down on a sofa that was handsomely furnished; and desired him to wait there a moment, till she went to inform the young lady of his arrival.

As my brother had never before been in so superb a place, he immediately began to observe all the beautiful things that were in sight; and judging of his good fortune by the magnificence he beheld, he could hardly contain his joy. He almost immediately heard a great noise, which came from a long troop of slaves, who were enjoying themselves, and came towards him, bursting out at the same time into violent fits of laughter. In the midst of them he perceived a young lady of most extraordinary beauty, whom he discovered to be their mistress, by the attention they paid her. Bakbarah, who expected merely a private conversation with the lady, was very much surprised at the arrival of so large a company. In the mean time, the slaves putting on a serious air, approached him; and when the young lady was near the sofa, my brother, who had risen up, made a most profound reverence. She took the seat of honor, and then, having requested him to resume his, she said to him in a smiling manner:--“I am delighted to see you, and wish you every thing you can yourself desire.”--“Madam,” replied Bakbarah, “I cannot wish a greater honor than that of appearing before you.”--“You seem to me,” she replied, “of so good-humoured a disposition, that we shall pass our time very agreeably together.

She immediately ordered a collation, to be served up; and they covered the table with baskets of various fruits and sweetmeats. She then sat down at the table along with my brother and the slaves. As it happened that he was placed directly opposite to her, as soon as he opened his mouth to eat, she observed he had no teeth; she remarked this to her slaves, and they all laughed immoderately at it. Bakbarah, who from time to time raised his head to look at the lady, and saw that she was laughing, imagined it was from the pleasure she felt at being in his company; and flattered himself, therefore, that she would soon order the slaves to retire, and that he should enjoy her conversation in private. The lady easily guessed his thoughts, and took a pleasure in continuing a delusion which seemed so agreeable to him: she said a thousand soft tender things to him; she presented the best of every thing to him with her own hand.

When the collation was finished, she arose from table: ten slaves instantly took some musical instruments, and began to play and sing; the others to dance. In order to make himself the more agreeable, my brother also began dancing, and the young lady herself partook of the amusement. After they had danced for sometime, they all sat down to take breath. The lady ordered them to bring her a glass of wine, then cast a smile at my brother, to intimate that she was going to drink his health. He instantly rose up and stood while she drank. As soon as she had finished, instead of returning the glass, she had it filled again, and presented it to my brother, that he might pledge her.

Bakbarah took the glass, and in receiving it from the young lady, he kissed her hand; then drank to her, standing the whole time, to show his gratitude for the favor she had done him. After this, the young lady made him sit down by her side, and began to give him signs of affection. She put her arm round his neck, and frequently gave him gentle pats with her hand. Delighted with these favors, he thought himself the happiest man in the world; he also was tempted to begin to play in the same manner with this charming person, but he durst not take this liberty before the slaves, who had their eyes upon him, and who continued to laugh at this trifling. The young lady still kept giving him such gentle taps; at last she began to apply them so forcibly, that he grew angry at it. He reddened, and got up to sit further from so rude a playfellow. At this moment, the old woman who had brought my brother there, looked at him in such a way as to make him understand that he was wrong, and had forgotten the advice she had before given him. He acknowledged his fault; and to repair it, he again approach the young lady, pretending that he had not gone to a distance through anger. She then took hold of him by the arm, and drew him towards her; making him again sit down close by her, and continuing to bestow a thousand pretended caresses on him. Her slaves, whose only aim was to divert her, began to take a part in the sport. One of them gave poor Bakbarah a fillip on the nose with all her strength; another pulled his ears almost off, while the rest kept giving him slaps; which passed the limits of raillery and fun.

My brother bore all this with the most exemplary patience: he even affected an air of gaiety; and looked at the old woman with a forced smile. “You were right,” said he, “when you said that I should find a very fine, agreeable, and charming young lady. How much am I obliged to you for it!”--“Oh, this is nothing yet,” replied the old woman, “let her alone, and you will see a very different thing by and by.”--The young lady then spoke: “You are a brave man,” said she to my brother, “and I am delighted at finding in you so much kindness and complaisance towards all my little fooleries, and that you possess a disposition so conformable to mine.”--“Madam,” replied Bakbarah, ravished with this speech, “I am no longer myself, but am entirely at your disposal; you have full power to do with me as you please.”--“You afford me the greatest happiness,” added the lady, “by showing so much submission to my inclination. I am perfectly satisfied with you; and I wish that you should be equally so with me. Bring,” cried she to the attendants, “perfumes and rose-water.” At these words two slaves went out and instantly returned, one with a silver vase, in which there was exquisite aloe-wood, with which she perfumed him, and the other with rose-water, which she sprinkled over his face and hands. My brother could not contain himself for joy, at seeing himself so handsomely and honorably treated.

When this ceremony was finished, the young lady commanded the slaves, who had before sung and played, to recommence their concerts. They obeyed, and while this was going on, the lady called another slave, and ordered her to take my brother with her, saying, “you know what to do, and when you have finished, return with him to me.” Bakbarah, who heard this order given, immediately got up, and going towards the old woman, who had also risen to accompany the slave, he requested her to tell him what they wished him to do. “Our mistress,” replied she, in a whisper, “is extremely curious; and she wishes to see how you would look disguised as a female; this slave, therefore, has orders to take you with her, to paint your eyebrows, shave your mustachios, and dress you like a woman.”--“You may paint my eyebrows,” said my brother, “as much as you please; to that I readily agree, because I can wash them again; but as to shaving me, that, mind you, I will by no means suffer. How do you think I dare appear without my mustachios?”--“Take care,” answered the woman, “how you oppose any thing that is required of you. You will quite spoil your fortune, which is going on as prosperously as possible. She loves you, and wishes to make you happy. Will you, for the sake of a paltry mustachio, forego the most delicious favors any man can possibly enjoy?”

Bakbarah at length yielded to the old woman’s arguments; and, without saying another word, he suffered the slave to conduct him to an apartment, where they painted his eyebrows red. They shaved his mustachios, and were absolutely going to shave his beard. But the easiness of my brother’s temper did not carry him quite so far as to suffer that. “Not a single stroke,” he exclaimed, “shall you take at my beard.” The slave represented to him, that it was of no use to have cut off his mustachios, if he would not also agree to lose his beard: that a hairy countenance did not at all coincide with the dress of a woman; and that she was astonished, that a man who was on the very point of possessing the most beautiful woman in Bagdad, should care for his beard. The old woman also joined with the slave, and added fresh reasons; she threatened my brother with being quite in disgrace with her mistress. In short, she said so much, that he at last permitted them to do what they wished.

As soon as they had dressed him like a woman, they brought him back to the young lady, who burst into so violent a fit of laughter at the sight of him, that she fell down on the sofa in which she was sitting. The slaves all began to clap their hands, so that my brother was put quite out of countenance. The young lady then got up, and continuing to laugh all the time, said, “After the complaisance you have shown to me, I should be guilty of a crime not to bestow my whole heart upon you; but it is necessary that you should do one thing more for love of me; it is only to dance before me as you are.” He obeyed; and the young lady and the slaves danced with him, laughing all the while, as if they were crazy. After they had danced for some time, they all threw themselves upon the poor wretch, and gave him so many blows, both with their hands and feet, that he fell down almost fainting. The old woman came to his assistance, and without giving him time to be angry at such ill-treatment, she whispered in his ear, “Console yourself, for you are now arrived at the conclusion of your sufferings, and are about to receive the reward for them. You have only one thing more to do,” added she, “and that is a mere trifle. You must know that my mistress makes it her custom, whenever she has drank a little, as she has done to-day, not to suffer any one she loves to come near her, unless they are stripped to their shirt. When they are in this situation, she takes advantage of a short distance, and begins running before them through the gallery, and from room to room, till they have caught her. This is one of her fancies. Now, at whatever distance from you she may start, you, who are so light and active, can easily overtake her. Undress yourself, therefore, quickly, and remain in your shirt, and do not make any difficulty about it.”

My brother had already carried his complying humour too far to stop at this. The young lady at the same time took off her robe in order to run with greater ease, and remained only in her drawers. When they were both ready to begin the race, the lady took the advantage of about twenty paces, and then started with wonderful celerity. My brother followed her with all his strength; but not without exciting the risibility of the slaves, who kept clapping their hands all the time. The young lady, instead of losing any of the advantage she had first taken, kept continually gaining ground of my brother. She ran round the gallery two or three times, then turned off down a long dark passage, where she saved herself by a turn of which my brother was ignorant. Bakbarah, who kept constantly following her, lost sight of her in this passage; and he was also obliged to run much slower, because it was so dark. He at last perceived a light, towards which he made all possible haste; he went out through a door, which was instantly shut upon him.

You may easily imagine what was his astonishment, at finding himself in the middle of a street inhabited by curriers. Nor were they less surprised at seeing him in his shirt, his eyebrows painted red, and without either beard or mustachios. They began to clap their hands, to hoot at him; and some even ran after him, and kept lashing him with strips of their leather. They then stopped him, and set him on an ass, which they accidentally met with, and led him through the city, exposed to the laughter and shouts of the mob.

To complete his misfortune, they led him through the street where the judge of the police lived, and this magistrate immediately sent to inquire into the cause of the uproar. The curriers informed him that they saw my brother, exactly in the state he then was, come out of the gate leading to the apartments of the women belonging to the grand vizier, which opened into their street. The judge then ordered the unfortunate Bakbarah, upon the spot, to receive a hundred strokes upon the soles of his feet, to be conducted without the city, and forbid him ever to enter it again.

This, Commander of the Faithful, said I to the caliph Mostanser Billah, is the history of my second brother, which I wished to relate to your majesty. He knew not, poor fellow, that the ladies of our great and powerful lords amuse themselves by making such fun as this with any young man, who is silly enough to trust himself in their hands.

The barber then went on without any interruption to the history of his third brother.

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER’S THIRD BROTHER.

Commander of the Faithful (said he to the caliph) my third brother, who was called Bakbac, was quite blind, and his destiny was so wretched, he was reduced to beg, and passed his life in going from door to door, asking charity. He had been accustomed to walk through the streets alone for so long a time, that he had no occasion for any one to lead him. He always used to knock at the different doors, and never to answer till they came and opened them.

He happened one day to knock at the door of a house, the master of which was quite alone. “Who is there?” he called out. My brother made no answer, but knocked a second time. Again did the master of the house inquire who was at the door, but no one answered. He then came down, opened the door, and asked my brother what he wanted. “That you will bestow something upon me for the love of God,” answered Bakbac.--“You seem to me to be blind,” said the master of the house. “Alas, it is true,” replied my brother, “Hold out your hand,” cried the other. My brother, supposing it was to receive something, immediately put his hand out; but the master of the house only took hold of it to assist him in going up-stairs to his apartment. Bakbac imagined it was for the purpose of giving him some food; as that had often happened to him at other houses. When they were both in the chamber, the master of the house let my brother’s hand go, and sat down in his place; he then again asked him what it was he wanted. “I have already told you,” replied Bakbac, “that I request a trifle of you, for the love of God.”--“My good blind man,” answered the master, “all I can do for you is to wish that God would restore your sight to you.”--“You might have told me that at the door,” said my brother, and spared me the difficulty of coming up-stairs.”--“And why, good innocent man as you are,” replied the other, “did you not answer me after you had knocked the first time, and when I asked you what you wanted? What is the reason you give people the trouble of coming down to open the door, when they speak to you?”--“What then do you mean to do for me?” said Bakbac.--“I tell you again,” replied the master, “that I have nothing to give you?”--“Help me at least to go down again, as you brought me up,” said my brother.”--“The staircase is before you,” answered he, “and if you wish it, you may go down alone.” My brother then began to descend, but missing his step about half way down, he fell to the bottom, and bruised his head and strained his loins very much. He got up, but not without pain, and went away muttering at and abusing the master of the house, who did nothing but laugh at his fall.

As he was going from the house, two of his companions, who were also blind, happened to pass by, and knew his voice. They stopped to ask him what success he had met with: on which he told them what had just befallen him; and added, that he had received nothing during the whole day. “I conjure you,” continued he, “to accompany me home, that I may, in your presence, take some of the money which we have in store among us, to buy something for my supper.” The two blind men agreed to it, and he conducted them home.

It is necessary in this place to observe, that the man of the house in which my brother had been so ill-treated, was a thief, and by nature both cunning and malicious. He had overheard, by means of his window, what Bakbac had said to his comrades; he therefore came down stairs and followed them; and went with them, unobserved, into an old woman’s house, where my brother lodged. As soon as they were seated, Bakbac said to the other two, “We must shut the door, brothers, and take care that there is no stranger among us.” At these words the robber was very much embarrassed; but perceiving a rope that hung from a beam in the middle of the room, he took hold of it, and suspended himself in the air while the blind men shut the door and felt all round the room with their sticks. When this ceremony was concluded, and they were again seated, he let go the rope and sat down by the side of my brother, without making any noise. The latter thinking there was no one besides his blind companions thus addressed them: “As you have made me, comrades, the banker for all the money we three have collected for a long time past, I wish to prove to you that I am not unworthy of the trust you have reposed in me. The last time we reckoned, you know we had ten thousand drachms, and we put them into ten bags: I will now show you that I have not touched one of them.” Having said this, he put his hands among some old rags and clothes, and drew out the ten bags, one after the other; and giving them to his companions, “Here,” said he, “are all the bags, and you may judge by the weight, that they are quite full; or you may count them if you like it better.” They answered that they were perfectly satisfied with his honesty. He then opened one of the bags, and took out ten drachms, and the other two blind men did the same.

After this my brother replaced the bags in the same spot. One of the blind men then said, there was no occasion for them to spend any thing for supper that night, as he had received, from the charity of some good people, sufficient provisions for all three; he instantly took out of his wallet some bread, cheese, and fruit, and put all of them upon a table. They then began to eat; and the robber, who sat on the right hand of my brother, chose the best, and eat of every thing with them: but in spite of all the precaution he used to avoid making the least noise, Bakbac heard him chew, and instantly exclaimed, “We are lost; there is a stranger among us.” While he was saying this he stretched out his hand, and seized the robber by the arm. He then threw himself upon him; calling out Thief! and giving him many blows with his fist. The other blind men also instantly called out, and beat the robber, who on his part defended himself as well as he could. As he was both strong and active, and had the advantage of seeing where he placed his blows, he laid about him most furiously, first on one and then the other, whenever he was able, and called out “Thieves, robbers,” more clamorously than his enemies.

The neighbours immediately assembled at the noise, broke open the door, and had much difficulty to separate the combatants. Having at last put an end to the fray, they inquired the cause of their disagreement. “Gentlemen,” cried my brother, who had not yet let the robber go, “this man, whom I have got hold of is a thief, who came in here with us for the purpose of robbing us of the little money we possess.” The robber, who as soon as he saw the people enter, had shut his eyes, and pretended to be blind, said, “He is a liar, gentlemen; and I swear by the name of God, and by the life of the caliph, that I am one of their companions and associates, and that they refuse to give me the share which belongs to me. They all three set themselves against me, and I demand justice.” The neighbours, who did not wish to interfere with their disputes, carried them all four before the judge of the police.

When they were come before this magistrate, the robber, still pretending to be blind, without waiting till they were interrogated, said, “Since you, my lord, have been appointed to administer justice in behalf of the caliph, whose power may God prosper, I will declare to you that we are all equally culpable. But as we have pledged ourselves under an oath, not to reveal any thing except we receive the bastinado, if you wish to be informed of our crime, you have only to order it to be given to us; and you may begin with me.” My brother now wished to speak, but they compelled him to hold his tongue. They then began to bastinado the robber.

He had the resolution to bear twenty or thirty strokes; and then pretending to be overcome with pain, he first opened one eye, and soon after the other; calling out at the same time for mercy, and begging the judge of the police to order them to remit his punishment. At seeing the robber with both eyes open, the judge was very much astonished. “Scoundrel,” he cried, “what does this strange thing mean?”--“My lord,” replied the robber, “I will discover a most important secret, if you will have the goodness to pardon me; and as a pledge that you will keep your word, give me the ring you have on your finger, and which you often use as a seal. I am then ready to reveal the whole mystery to you.”

The judge ordered his people to stop the punishment, and promised to pardon him. “Upon the faith of this promise,” replied the robber, “I now declare to you, my lord, that both my companions and myself are possessed of most excellent eye-sight. We all four feign blindness, in order to have the power of entering houses without molestation, and even penetrating into the apartments of the women, whose weakness we sometimes take advantage of. I moreover confess to you, that we have collected in common, at least ten thousand drachms by this cunning trick. This morning I demanded of my companions two thousand five hundred drachms, which came to my share; but because I declared I would break off all connection with them and retire, and from fear that I should discover their artifice, they refused to give them me; on my continuing to insist upon my share, they all fell upon me, and ill-treated me in a violent manner, as I can prove by the people who have brought us before you. I wait here for you to administer justice, my lord, and that you will make them deliver up the two thousand five hundred drachms, which are my due. And if you wish that my comrades should acknowledge the truth of what I advance, order them to receive three times as many blows as you have given me, and you will see them open their eyes as I did.”

My brother and the other two blind men wished to convince the judge of this infamous imposture, but he would not hear a word. “Rascals,” cried he, “is it thus then that you counterfeit blindness, and go about deceiving people, under pretence of exciting their charity, and are thus enabled to be guilty of such wicked actions?”--“He is an impostor,” exclaimed my brother, “it is false, that we are able to see at all, and we are ready to take God to witness of it.”

Whatever my brother could say, was nevertheless useless; both he and his companions received two hundred strokes of the bastinado. The judge every moment expected them to open their eyes, and attributed to their great obstinacy, what it was impossible for them to do. During the whole of this time, the robber kept saying to the blind men, “My good fellows, open your eyes, and do not wait till you almost die under the punishment.” Then addressing himself to the judge of the police, he added, “I see very well, my lord, that they will carry their obstinacy so far, that they will never open their eyes; they are without doubt anxious to avoid the shame of reading their own condemnation in the countenances of those who surround them. It is better to pardon them now, and send some one with me to take the ten thousand drachms they have concealed.”

The judge did not intend to neglect doing this; he therefore commanded one of his people to accompany the robber, and they brought the ten bags back with them. He then ordered two thousand five hundred drachms to be counted out and given to the robber, and kept the remainder for himself. With respect to my brother and his companions, he was satisfied with ordering them into banishment, which punishment he thought light enough. I was no sooner informed of what had happened to Bakbac, than I sought him out. He related his misfortune to me, and I brought him privately back into the city. I should have been able, I have no doubt, to have proved the innocence of my brother before the judge of the police, and to have had the robber punished as he deserved, but I dared not undertake it for fear of bringing some misfortune upon my own head.

This is the conclusion of the melancholy adventure of my third brother, who was blind. The caliph did not laugh less at this than he had done at those he had before heard. He again ordered me to receive something more; but without waiting till they had done so, I began the history of my fourth brother.

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER’S FOURTH BROTHER.

The name by which my fourth brother was called, was Alcouz. He lost his eye in the manner I shall have the honour to relate to your majesty. He was a butcher by trade! and as he had a particular talent in bringing up rams, and teaching them to fight, he from this circumstance acquired the friendship and knowledge of some of the principal people; who were much amused with these sorts of combats, and who even kept rams for this very purpose at their own houses. He had, besides, a very good business; and there was always in his shop the finest and most beautiful meat that was to be found in the market; because he was very rich, and did not spare expense in order to have the best.

As he was one day in his shop, an old man, who had a very long and white beard, came in to purchase six pounds of meat; he then paid his money and went away. My brother observed, that his money was very beautiful, new, and well coined. He resolved, therefore, to lay it by in a separate part of his closet. During five months the same old man came regularly every day for the same quantity of meat, and paid for it with the same sort of money, which my brother as regularly continued to lay by.

At the end of five months, Alcouz, having an inclination to make a purchase of a certain quantity of sheep, resolved to pay for them out of this particular money; the therefore went to his box, and opened it; but he was in the greatest astonishment, when he discovered, instead of his money, only a parcel of leaves cut round. He immediately began to beat himself, and made so great a noise, that he brought all his neighbours about him; whose surprise was as great as his own, when he informed them of what had passed. “I wish to God,” cried my brother, with tears in his eyes, “that this treacherous old man would at this instant make his appearance with his hypocritical face.” He had hardly spoken these words, when he saw him coming along at a distance. He ran in the greatest hurry to meet him, and having seized hold of him; “Mussulmen,” he vociferated with all his force, “assist me; only listen to the shameful trick that this infamous man has played me.” He then related to a large crowd of people, who had collected round him, the same story he had before done to his neighbours. When he had finished his tale, the old man, without the least emotion, quietly answered, You would do much better to let me go, and by this action make reparation for the affront you have thus offered me before so many people; lest I should return you the compliment in a more serious manner, which I should be sorry to do.”--“And what have you, pray, to say against me?” replied my brother, “I am an honest man in my business, and I fear you not.”--“You wish, then, that I should make it public,” returned the old man, in the same tone of voice. “Learn then,” added he, addressing himself to the people, “that instead of selling the flesh of sheep, as he ought to do, this man sells human flesh.”--“You are an impostor,” cried my brother.”--“No, no,” answered the other; for at this very moment I am speaking, there is a man with his throat cut, hanging up on the outside of your shop like a sheep. Let them go there, and we shall soon know, whether I have spoken the truth.”

Before my brother had opened the box where the leaves were, he had that morning killed a sheep, and had dressed and exposed it on the outside of his shop as usual. He therefore protested that what the old man had said was false; but in spite of all his protestations, the credulous mob, enraged at the idea of a man’s being guilty of so shocking a crime, wished to be assured of the fact on the spot. They therefore obliged my brother to let the old man go, and laid hold of him instead, and ran like fury to his shop, where they saw a man with his throat cut; and hung up exactly as the accuser had stated: for this old man was, in fact, a magician, and had deceived the eyes of all the people, as he had formerly done my brother, when he made him take the leaves he had given him, for real good money.

At sight of this, one of those who held Alcouz gave him a great blow with his fist, and at the same time said, “Is it thus then, rascal, that you make us eat human flesh?” The old man also, who had not left them, immediately gave him another blow, that knocked out one of his eyes. Every one, who could get near him, was not deficient in beating him. Nor were they satisfied with ill-treating him in this manner; they conducted him before the judge of the police, before whom they produced the pretended carcase, which they had taken down and brought with them, as a proof of the accused person’s guilt. “My lord,” said the old magician to him, “you see before you a man, who is so barbarous as to kill men, and sell their flesh for that of sheep. The public expect that you will punish him in an exemplary manner.” The judge of the police attended to what my brother had to say with great patience, but the story of the money, changed into leaves, appeared so little worthy of belief, that he treated my brother as an impostor; and choosing to give credit to his own eyes, he ordered him to receive five hundred blows. After this, having obliged him to discover where his money was, he took the whole of it from him, and condemned him to perpetual banishment, after having exposed him for three successive days, mounted on a camel, to all the city.

At the time that this dreadful adventure happened to Alcouz, my fourth brother, I was absent from Bagdad. He retired to a very obscure part, where he remained concealed till the wounds his punishment produced, were healed. It was chiefly on the back that he had been so beaten. As soon as he was able to walk he travelled, during the night and through unfrequented roads, to a city where he was known to no one! there he took a lodging, from whence he hardly ever stirred. Tired, however, at last of living so recluse a life, he one day went to walk in the suburbs of the town, when he suddenly heard a great noise of horsemen coming along behind him. He happened just at this instant to be near the door of a large house; and as he was apprehensive of every body, after what had passed, he fancied that these horsemen were in pursuit of him in order to arrest him. He therefore opened the door for the purpose of concealing himself. After having shut it again, he went into a large court, where he had no sooner appeared than two domestics came up to him and seized him by the collar, saying, “God be praised that you have come of your own free will, to give yourself up. You have disturbed us so much for these last three nights, we have been unable to sleep; and you have spared our lives only because we have prevented your base intention of taking them.”

You may easily imagine that my brother was not a little surprised at this sort of welcome. “My good friends,” said he to them, “I really know not what you wish of me; you without doubt take me for another person.”--“No, no,” replied they, “we are not ignorant that you and your comrades are free-booters. You were not satisfied with having robbed our master of all he possessed, and reducing him to beggary, but even wished to take his life. Let us see if you have not the knife about you, which you had in your hand when we pursued you last night.” Having said this, they began to search him, and perceived that he had a knife. “So, so,” cried they in taking it, “and have you the assurance still to deny that you are a robber?”--“What,” then answered my brother, “cannot a man carry a knife in his pocket, without being a thief? Listen to my story,” added he, “and instead of having a bad opinion of me, you will even be affected at my misfortunes.” So far, however, were they from listening to it, that they immediately fell upon him, trod upon him, pulled off his clothes, tore his shirt; and then observing the scars upon his back, “Ah, rascal,” they cried, redoubling their blows, “do you wish to make us believe you are an honest man, when your back is so covered with scars?”--“Alas,” cried my brother, “my sins must be very great, since, after having been once before so unjustly treated, I am served so a second time without being the least culpable.”

The two servants paid no attention to my brother’s complaints; but carried him before the judge of the police. “How dare you,” said the judge, “break into people’s houses, and pursue them with a knife in your hand?”--“My lord,” answered poor Alcouz, “I am one of the most innocent men in the world. I shall be undone, if you will not do me the favour patiently to listen to me. No person is more worthy of compassion than I am.”--“Sir,” cried one of the domestics at this instant, “will you listen for a moment to a robber, who breaks into people’s houses, pillages them, and murders the inhabitants? If you refuse to give us credit, look at his back, and that will prove enough.” When he had said this, they uncovered my brother’s back, and showed it to the judge, who immediately ordered him to receive upon the spot a hundred strokes, with a leathern strap, on his shoulders, without inquiring any farther into the matter: he then commanded him to be led through the city upon a camel, with a crier going before him, calling out, “this is the way they punish those who forcibly break into houses.”

When this ceremony was over, they set him down without the town, and forbad him ever to enter it again. Some people, who accidentally met him after this second disgraceful event, informed me where he was. I directly set out to find him, and then brought him secretly to Bagdad, where I did every thing, as far as I was able, to assist him.

The caliph Mostanser Billah (continued the barber), did not laugh so much at this history as at the others; for he had the goodness of heart to commiserate the unfortunate Alcouz. He then wished to give me something, and send me away; but without giving them time to obey his orders, I said, “You may now have observed, most sovereign lord and master, that I speak very little. Since your majesty has had the goodness to listen to me thus far, and as you express a wish to hear the adventures of my two other brothers, I hope and trust they will not afford you less amusement than what you have already heard. You may then make a most complete history of them, which will not be unworthy of being placed amongst your archives.”

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER’S FIFTH BROTHER.

I have the honour to inform you, that the name of my fifth brother was Alnaschar, who, while he lived with my father, was excessively idle: instead of working for his bread, he was not ashamed of demanding sufficient for his support every evening, and to live upon it the next day. Our father at last died at a very advanced period of life, and all he left us consisted of seven hundred drachms of silver. We divided it equally among us, and each took one hundred for his share. Alnaschar, who had never before been in possession of so much money at a time, found himself very much embarrassed with the disposal of it. He debated a long time in his own mind on this subject, and at last determined to lay it out in the purchase of glasses, bottles, and other glass articles, which he went to get at a large wholesale merchant’s. He put the whole of his stock into an open basket, and fixed upon a very small shop, where he sat down with the basket before him; and, leaning his back against the wall, waited for customers to buy his merchandise.

While he was remaining in this attitude, with his eyes fixed upon his basket, he began to meditate; and in the midst of his reverie, he pronounced the following speech sufficiently loud for a tailor, who was his neighbour, to hear him. “This basket,” said he, “cost me one hundred drachms, and that is all I am worth in the world. In selling its contents by retail, I shall do well in making two hundred drachms: and of these two hundred which I shall employ again in glass ware, I shall make four hundred drachms. By continuing this traffic, I shall, in process of time, amass the sum of four thousand drachms. With these four thousand, I shall easily make eight. And as soon as I am worth ten thousand, I will leave off selling glass ware and turn jeweller. I will then deal in diamonds, pearls, and all sorts of precious stones. When I shall be in possession of as much wealth as I wish, I will purchase a beautiful house, large estates, eunuchs, slaves, and horses. I will entertain handsomely and largely, and shall make some noise in the world. I will make all the musicians and dancers, both male and female, who live in the city, come to my house. Nor will I remain satisfied, till I have realized, if it shall please God, one hundred thousand drachms. And when I shall become thus rich, I shall think myself equal to a prince; and I will send and demand the daughter of the grand vizier in marriage, and represent to him that I have heard most astonishing reports of the beauty, wisdom, wit, and every other good quality of his daughter: and in short, that I will bestow upon her, the very night of our nuptials, a thousand pieces of gold. If the vizier should be so ill-bred as to refuse me his daughter, though I know that will not be the case, I will go and take her away before his face, and bring her home in spite of him.

As soon as I shall have married the grand vizier’s daughter, I will purchase ten very young and well-made black eunuchs for her. I will dress myself like a prince; and will parade through the town, mounted on a fine horse, the saddle of which shall be of pure gold, and the caparisons of gold stuff, relieved with diamonds and pearls. I will be accompanied by slaves, who shall go both before and behind me, and will thus proceed to the palace of the vizier, with the eyes of all fixed upon me, both nobles and others, who will make me the most profound reverence as I go along. When I shall have dismounted at the grand vizier’s, and come to the bottom of the staircase, I will ascend between my people, ranged in two rows to the right and left; and the grand vizier, in receiving me for his son-in-law, shall give me his place, and seat himself before me, in order to show me the more respect. If all this should happen, as I hope it will, two of my men shall have a purse, each containing one thousand pieces of gold, which I had ordered them to bring. I will then take one of them, and in presenting it to the grand vizier will say, “Behold the thousand pieces of gold, which I have promised you on the first night of my marriage.” Then offering him the other, I will add, “This is not all; to show you that I am a man of my word, and to prove that I give you more than I promise, receive this other purse of equal value.” After such an act as this, my generosity will be the conversation of all the world.

I will then return home with the same pomp. My wife shall send some officer to compliment me on my visit to her father. I will bestow a beautiful robe of honor on the officer, and send him back with a rich present. If in return she shall wish to make me a present, I will refuse it; and dismiss the person who brings it. I will not, moreover, permit her to leave her apartments upon any account whatever, without first consulting me; and, whenever I wish to go to her, it shall always be in a way that shall impress her with the greatest respect for me. In short, no house shall be so well regulated as mine. I will always appear magnificently dressed; and, whenever I wish to pass the evening with her, I will sit in the most honorable seat, where I will affect a grave and solemn air; nor will I turn my head to the right or left. I will speak but little: and while my wife, beautiful as the moon at the full, presents herself before me in all her splendor, I will pretend not to see her. Her women, who will be standing round her, shall say, “My dear lord and master, behold your spouse, the humblest of your slaves, before you. She is waiting for you to caress her; and is much mortified that you do not deign to take the least notice of her. She is greatly fatigued at standing thus long before you; at least, then, give her leave to sit down.” I will not answer a word to this speech, at which their surprise and grief would be much augmented. They will then throw themselves at my feet; and after they shall have remained there a considerable time, entreating and begging me to yield to them, I will at last lift up my head, and casting upon her a sort of negligent unmeaning glance, will then return to my former state. Thinking, perhaps, that my wife may not either be well or properly dressed, they will lead her back to her room, in order to change her habit; and, in the mean time, I will return to my apartment and put on a more magnificent dress than I had before. They will then return a second time; will address the same speech; and I shall again have the pleasure of not looking at my wife, till they shall have prayed and entreated me as long and earnestly as before. And I will thus begin, on the very first day of my marriage, to teach her how she may expect to be treated, during the remainder of her life.

After the various ceremonies of our nuptials are over, continued Alnaschar, I will take a purse from the hands of one of the attendants, containing five hundred pieces of gold, which I will give to the female attendants, that they may leave me alone with my spouse. As soon as they shall have retired, my wife shall go to bed first. I will immediately follow her, and will be the whole night with my back turned towards her, and will not utter a single syllable. The next morning she will not fail to complain to her mother, the lady of the grand vizier, of my pride and neglect; and this will very much delight me. Her mother will then come to see me, and out of respect take and kiss my hands, and say to me, “My lord,” for she will not dare to call me son-in-law, through fear of displeasing me, by speaking with so much familiarity, “I entreat you, my lord, not to despise my child in such a manner, nor keep her at such a distance; I assure you she will always endeavor to please you, and I know her whole heart is devoted to you.” Although my mother-in-law shall address me so respectfully and kindly, I will not answer her a word, but remain as grave and solemn as ever. She will then throw herself at my feet, and after kissing them many times, will say, “My lord, is it possible you suspect the prudence of my daughter; I assure you, I have never suffered her to go out of my sight; and you are the first man who has ever seen her face. Forbear to inflict so great a mortification upon her, and do her the favor to look at and speak to her; and thus strengthen her good intention of endeavoring to satisfy and please you in every thing.”

All this shall have no effect upon me; which my mother-in-law observing, she will then take a glass of wine, and putting it into my wife’s hand, will say, “Go, and present him this glass of wine yourself; he will not, perhaps, have the cruelty to refuse it from so beautiful a hand.” My wife will then take the glass, and stand up before me, trembling all the time. When she observes that I do not incline myself towards her, and that I persist in taking not the least notice of her, she will address me, with her eyes bathed in tears, in these words; “My heart, my dear soul, my amiable lord, I conjure you, by the favors which heaven has so plentifully bestowed upon you, to have the goodness to take this glass of wine from the hand of the humblest of your slaves.” I shall, however, take care neither to look at, nor speak to her. “My charming husband,” will she continue to say, redoubling her tears, and carrying the glass of wine close to my mouth, “I will not cease entreating you till I obtain the favor of your drinking it.” At last, tired and worn out with her solicitations and prayers, I will throw a most terrible glance at her, and will give her a good blow on her cheek, at the same time pushing her so violently from me with my foot, that she shall fall down at the bottom of the sofa.