Chapter XXIX: Act I: CAR

_Dramatis Personæ_,
CAR-DRIVER.
CONDUCTOR.
PASSENGERS.

SCENE--_Sixth Avenue, New York._

Scene opens and discovers street-car driving furiously along, drawn by two chestnut acquaintances. Conductor and driver represented by two small boys. Car composed of lounge, clothes-horse, and two chairs, judiciously arranged and draped; wheels of band box-lids or circular tea-trays. Noise of car simulated by confederates outside shaking sleigh-bells or hand-bells, and drumming on door with fingers and hand; also rattling on floor with feet.

Enter some passengers, running and hailing car. Bell rings, by knocking goblet with spoon. Car stops.

Passengers rush towards car. Gentleman is in the act of stepping on car when bell rings, and car suddenly starts off, throwing gentleman violently to the ground. Great screaming and wailing; friends gather round and try to raise him; find he is insensible; all immediately begin shaking their fists at conductor; then simultaneously they bethink themselves of the propriety of taking the number of the car. All draw out their memorandum-books and commence writing. Conductor and driver make gestures of defiance.

Grand tableau.

ACT II.

---- PET.

_Dramatis Personæ_,
HUSBAND AND WIFE.

Enter lady poutingly, followed by her husband, who tries to coax her into a good humor, but without avail. She persists in being in a _pet_. Husband

by his gestures promises to buy her shawls,

dresses,

a piano,

and even

a riding-horse.[8]

Finding all these promises are of no use, he begins to get excited; declares she shall have nothing; lady remains sulky; gentleman seizes his hat, rams it on his head, and exits. Lady walks off in the opposite direction, clenching her fists.

[8] To convey this idea, the gentleman must neigh while he prances.