Chapter C: W. Veysey Always Pushed the Work--Never Let It Push Him (2)

The very air is surcharged with pleas to you to launch out and distinguish yourself. Self advancement is the theme of the age. No one can do as much for you as you can do for yourself. You're a regular "powerhouse" of possibilities if you have enough gumption to utilize them. You remember you turned down a smashing good chance to get ahead, when, for the sake of a few paltry frivolities, you sacrificed that special study course which you could have mastered in 1920. You know better than that. You saunter along through life as if you had a thousand years to put in here. Train the microscope on your freckled career and set about to remedy things. Come now, get hold of yourself! It's all beginning over again--New Year--new page--new everything! Tackle something that's so much bigger than you that it scares you! That's the way to grow accustomed to accomplishing big things. This is _your_ year! How do you know that you're going to have another as good? Make this your motto--pin it to your New Year's resolutions--"This is _My_ Year!"--and in sooth it _will_ be your year!

Miss McCheyne's name was inadvertently omitted from the formerly published list of names of those completing ten years' service.

Since the change in markets Miss Winslow, our postmistress-in-general, is worried for fear someone is going to tear in one of these days and ask what the new replacement price is on two cent postage stamps.

Someone turns in an unsigned report about the prevalence of "sparklers" getting hard on the eyes around the bureau of adjustment.

First Snowshoe Tramp

By Land Staff

Eighteen members of the Land Department staff snowshoed out to the home of Mr. B. Everitt, our genial associate editor, at East Kildonan, Saturday evening, December 18th. The party gathered at Redwood bridge and tramped north by way of Red River.

About half way it was found necessary to call a halt owing to the guide being missing. His rejuvenated appearance upon eventually overtaking the main party led to some doubt as to the generally accepted meaning of "air holes," which were reported to be the cause of the delay.

While there was not sufficient snow to make real good tramping, what was lacking in this respect was more than compensated for by the enjoyable time provided by the host and hostess at the conclusion of the hike. Here games and dancing were indulged in until midnight, when the party was brought to an end with the singing of "Auld Lang Syne."--_F.H.N._

_An Error Rectified_

As some error in the names of the long service medalists had been made at the opening of the Anniversary Celebration, our general manager's office was the scene the other day of a pleasant little ceremony when Mr. Chas. E. Robinson was made the recipient of his long service medal. It was presented by Sir Augustus Nanton, chairman of the Canadian Advisory Committee, Mr. FitzGerald and Mr. Sparling being also present. "Charlie" has been with the Store since June 6, 1904, and is one of the bulwarks.

Mr. James Thomson, former Commissioner of lands and furs, was warmly welcomed home at Winnipeg, December 23rd, after an absence of several months in the Orkney's and Scotland.

EDMONTON

LAND OFFICE

Retail Store Notes

Recent Changes Among Store's Department Heads

Changes never seem to come singly, for since the first appearance of _The Beaver_ no less than five important executive appointments have been made in the store; and another is scheduled for the very near future.

* * * * *

Mr. Chasey, the new buyer for the men's clothing departments, and Miss M. Doherty, the new buyer for the hosiery and gloves, are now firmly established on their feet and are making noteworthy progress.

* * * * *

We now welcome to our ranks three more recent arrivals:

* * * * *

Mr. Pallett is another Easterner who has heard the call of the West. Mr. Pallett succeeds Mr. Jenkins as buyer of the trimmings and ribbons. He was previously with the T. Eaton Company for several years. Mr. Pallett is very favorably impressed with the City of Edmonton and predicts a great future for the store.

Mr. Secord is the new buyer of the ladies' ready-to-wear, and successor to Mr. Woodman. Mr. Secord was previously with the Robert Simpson Co., of Toronto, nine years buyer of the ladies' ready-to-wear and fur department. Since coming to the store, Mr. Secord has won the esteem of the entire staff and we predict a rosy future for the department under his supervision.

Mr. J. McLeod has succeeded Mr. McKee as buyer of the cigar and candy departments. Mr. McLeod was recently floor manager on the second floor and was previously manager of the grocery department, Hudson's Bay Company, Retail, Vernon, B.C.

Hail to Our New Assistant "Chief"

This new appointment was effective on December 13th, 1920. Besides holding the position of assistant manager, Mr. McKenzie will also act in the capacity of merchandise manager, thereby relieving Mr. F. F. Harker of a big burden. Mr. Harker has for the past twelve months acted in the dual capacity of manager of the store as well as merchandise manager.

Mr. G. M. McKenzie was born in Edinburgh, Scotland, serving his apprenticeship in the dry goods and men's wear business. In 1901 he came to Canada and joined the firm of Jaeger & Company, subsequently holding the position of stores manager and supervisor of the factory in Montreal. In 1916 Mr. McKenzie heard the call of his country and proceeded to the front, serving with His Majesty's forces in France until March, 1919.

Upon returning to Canada he accepted a position with the R. J. Tooke Company as general manager of the retail stores in Montreal. His recent appointment as assistant manager of the Edmonton store will fill a long felt want.

* * * * *

* * * * *

Mrs. Lewis recently rejoined the staff after an absence of two years. She is in charge of the lace and neckwear department. We are glad to welcome her back.

Miss Law is also an old member of the staff who has recently come back to the store. During her absence she was with the Company's store at Calgary. She is resuming her duties here in the ribbon department.

Miss McAdam, who has been in the Company's service for the past seven years, has left us for the coast. Miss McAdam was a very popular member of the staff and we regret exceedingly to lose her.

Mr. Howey, of the men's furnishings department, is an expert hockey player. We have no doubt he will be a valuable acquisition to the store's team.

Mr. C. Stapells, house furnishings buyer, and Mr. Hewes are very busy these days supervising the draperies and furnishings for the palatial new Empire theatre.

We have heard that a certain young lady on the third floor has lost her heart and is going to sign a life contract in the very near future.

The A. and A. A. Concert Reveals Real Artists

Another of those very enjoyable concerts which are staged periodically through the winter months by the Amusement and Athletic Association, was held in the "Hudsonia" dining room on Thursday evening, December 2nd, at which about 150 members and their friends were present.

The association was again fortunate in hearing Mr. R. L. Bateman, who rendered "She Is Far from the Land" and, in response to a hearty encore, "For You Alone" was all that could be desired.

Miss Kate Hamilton sang "Bird Songs" in which her beautiful voice was heard to very great advantage.

Mrs. Roy Carbert sang Tosti's "Good Bye," and as an encore, "Angus MacDonald."

Mr. Bert Crockett sang "There's Life in the Old Dog Yet," which was very much appreciated, he being vociferously encored.

All the other artists are members of the staff and their songs were all rendered in admirable style.

One exceptionally pleasing number was the duet, "Tenor and Baritone," Mr. T. A. Crockett's tenor and Mr. Digney's baritone voices blending in perfect harmony.

Miss Edna Southen and Miss K. Riddle were two excellent sopranos, whilst Miss W. E. Crowther's sweet contralto voice has never been heard to greater advantage.

Mr. T. A. Crockett and Mr. George Saunders have fine tenor voices, whilst Mr. G. Robert's deep bass was used with effect in "Out on the Deep."

Mr. C. Digney was splendid in "Captain Mack" and later his rendering of "My Old Shako" was perfect.

Miss Moore acted as accompanist throughout and in addition gave a duet in company, with her sister.

One cannot speak too highly of Miss Moore's assistance, as she is always ready and willing to help in any way that will add to the enjoyment of the staff, whether it be as accompanist or soloist.

Mr. P. A. Stone, president of the Amusement and Athletic Association, acted as chairman.

Community Singing is Getting Results

Community singing for the staff, which was inaugurated at the Edmonton store, November 1st, 1920, is reported to be an unqualified success.

The staff arrive at 8.45 a.m. and sing usually two songs before 8.55 a.m. bell sounds, when the covers are removed preparatory to the day's business.

The initiative was taken by the Amusement and Athletic Association. The fact that it is still retaining the original interest proves that the all-important co-operation has been obtained; hence the success.

Whilst it is impossible yet to gauge the full extent of the benefits derived from community singing, it may be said that the early morning "grouch" is dissipated, and that alone makes it worth while, as it leaves the staff in a happier frame of mind. This cannot but conduce to the betterment of the service afforded to customers.

From community singing to a trained choir is but a step, since even the untrained singer gradually falls into and holds the time and rhythm of the piece being sung, so that from an untrained band of voices a perfectly functioning choir is created.

This is the aim of the Edmonton Amusement and Athletic Association, and with a continuance of the staff's co-operation that end will be attained.

The Ad. Man's Destiny

Mr. Jack Prest was going home one night in the street car. It was
late, and the man sitting next to him began to talk. "What business
are you in?" he asked. "The advertising business," replied Jack.
"Is that so? Well, well, I used to be in the advertising business
myself. I gave it up though and went into the rag-and-old-bottle
business. I was a sandwich man for the Empire Theatre for six
months." "Say," and he leaned over confidentially, "Ain't it hard
when the wind blows?"

CALGARY

The Rank and File

By F. R. REEVE

The newspapers recently had much to say concerning the remarkable honors paid in England and France to the bodies of two unknown soldiers who fell on the battlefields.

It was a nation's whole-hearted recognition of the fact that Victory was after all due to the efforts and self-sacrifice of the rank and file.

In the scheme of life each one of us has a definite sphere to fill. Lest those who now constitute the rank and file in the service of the Company should be inclined to regard their positions with something of dissatisfaction, as being of no importance, I would have them take a lesson from the honors paid to these two unknown soldiers.

Upon those who constitute the front rank, those who come in contact with the public, the whole success of this great Company depends.

Behind you it is true, stretches a long line that reaches back from the junior buyer, through to the Governor himself, but the work accomplished by this wonderful organization does not reach its greatest success except through your co-operation.

The transaction between a customer and salesperson is not just so much money changing hands for a certain article. It represents the crowning success of a long series of operations, that, through your hands as the H.B.C. representative, reaches the goal for which it was intended, an appreciative buying public.

Upon the conduct of the rank and file--upon the impressions that are derived from your personality--is this Company judged.

The courtesy, helpfulness and efficiency that are displayed by you are the greatest assets this Company has. To know and to realize that no matter what your position in the service of the Company may be, that the Company is absolutely depending on your efforts will be to create in you a greater desire for helpfulness and efficiency which cannot fail to mean greater success for yourself and Company too.

VANCOUVER

_Everybody Boost for Our 1921 Hockey Team_

It has been asked of the editor why there were not more attending the hockey games last winter, and why the H.B.C. employees were very backward in supporting their own team, being especially conspicuous by their absence. We've a dandy team this year, folks, and the boys sure would like some "rooters." Come along and bring your friends and the horn off the old Ford. Help the team make a name for themselves in the Commercial League. The following are the names of our players:

_W. E. Almas (Capt.)_
_E. Herbert_
_P. Timmins_
_Chub Anderson_
_R. M. Mair_
_J. Gilroy_
_J.C. Hamm_
_J. McDonald_
_J. D. Barber_
_C. Boe_

* * * * *

We were very grieved to hear on December 10th of the death of Mr. Patterson, husband of Mrs. W. Patterson, cashier in our children's shoe department.

* * * * *

We are also bereaved of one of our old employees, Mr. James Hallisy, who passed away at his home on December 10th. The deceased was on our night staff, and had been in the Company's employ since 1918.

* * * * *

The army and Navy League Hall again witnessed a popular H.B.C. dance. Approximately 350 attended and tripped the light fantastic to the strains of Garden's orchestra. Mr. Skelly, chairman, and his competent committee had charge of the affair, which was carried off without a hitch to a very successful ending.

_Mr. Lockyer Elected President of Vancouver Exhibition Association_

Holding their first meeting since taking office, the directors of the Vancouver Exhibition Association on Dec. 16th elected Mr. H. T. Lockyer, manager of the Hudson's Bay Company, Vancouver retail store, as president for the ensuing year.--_Vancouver Province._

* * * * *

Mr. W. W. Frazer, the popular buyer for china and glass, left for Europe in the interests of his section, early this month. Many laudatory remarks were overheard by Eastern and American tourists anent his last collection of lovely china. Mr. Frazer apparently knows where to get them. "Where do they get all these pretty patterns--there's not an ugly one among them"--exclaimed a lady from Ottawa recently, and went on to say she had never seen a better display in New York, Montreal or Toronto. But that's Mr. Frazer's secret. We wish him bon voyage and the best of luck this time.

* * * * *

Miss A. K. Smith, too, buyer of notions, neckwear, laces, trimmings, hankies and fancy jewellery, has been chosen for a trip abroad after the airy fairy "nothings"--"the stuff that dreams are made of"--that are so dear to feminine hearts. Her return from Europe ladened with spoils will be looked forward to with interest by her constituency in Vancouver. You may be sure Miss Smith will not overlook any of the cute or smart little knick-knacks that are being shown in the marts over there, and we shall all have an opportunity to be more than ever up-to-date on her return. Vancouver is to be congratulated on having two buyers in whom the Company has so much faith and confidence as to entrust with this important foreign buying.

_The Tell-Tale Inventory_

A Vancouver bailiff went out to levy on the contents of a house. The inventory began in the attic and ended in the cellar. When the dining-room was reached the tally of furniture ran thus:

_One dining room table, oak._

_One set of chairs (6), oak._

_One sideboard, oak._

_Two bottles of whiskey, (full)!_

Then the word "full" was stricken over and replaced by "empty" and the inventory went on in a hand that struggled and lurched across the page, until it closed with:

"_One revolving door mat._"

_Mr. Greer Gets a Regular Shower of Good Things_

By E. Bell

Of the recent year end festivities enjoyed by Hudson's Bay employees perhaps none had more of the _vivres_ and relish of the days of real sport than the banquet tendered Mr. Greer by his staff in the display department.

This event took place in the Barron Hotel to begin with and ended at a box party to the opera to witness the "Dance Shop." The menu of the dinner, which was enjoyed both wisely and well, gives some of the unlucky individuals who were not invited an appetizer even to read:

_Greer Soup_
_Goose a la Greer_
_Oyster Cocktail, Y.M.C.A._
_Celery a la Celestial Citizen_
_Brussels Sprouts a la Lulu Island_
_Fried Sweet Potatoes, Brunette_
_Hot Toasted Rolls, Blonde_
_Combination Salad a la Display_
_French Pastry Translated Cake, Devilled_
_Creme de Chaufroid Cafe d'Hots D'el_

(_N.B.--S.O.S. Calgary. M. Laparique, please note. Can you beat it?_)

Having done full justice to these delectable viands the innocent occasion of so much mirth was next trotted to the opera, where his friends had taken the precaution to present him with a lorgnette or opera glass, we forget which. (Anyway it was not a monocle.) Notwithstanding, to the everlasting credit of the display department, they all turned up next morning on time and in the best of spirits.

_Old-Time Employees Visit the Store_

Among the guests of the Store last month were Mr. and Mrs. Alexander J. Baird, both old-time employees of the Company, who devoted a number of years of faithful service in the old store and two or three years in the new store.

Mr. Baird was secretary to the general manager, Mr. Lockyer. In 1917, he went to Honolulu for a new field to conquer. He was there but a little while before he sent for his fiancee, Miss Beck, then the general manager's stenographer. As soon as she arrived in Honolulu they were married. Being accustomed to speculating and used to seeing money made out of land, Mr. Baird (in face of much opposition) bought a piece of land and built three cottages thereon--an investment which proved a good one and a money maker.

KAMLOOPS

H.B.C. Kamloops Store Dates Back to 1812

_Location Has Changed Several Times to Keep Pace With Growth of City_

By A.E. DODMAN

The Company's store at Kamloops dates back to the year 1812 and it is therefore one of the oldest establishments at present existing in the stores department.

The original location was some distance from the present store site, as, like all Western towns, the business centre has changed several times, and the Company found it necessary to change from time to time in order to keep pace with the natural growth of the city.

The present premises were purchased and remodelled by the Company in 1911, and have a frontage of 75 feet on Victoria Street, extending 125 feet on Second Avenue with two entrances on Victoria and one on Second Avenue.

The building consists of two stories and basement. In addition the Company also operates a wholesale and retail tobacco and candy business on rented premises situated at the corner of Victoria Street and Third Avenue.

The business at Kamloops comprises eight departments--general dry goods, ladies' wear, men's furnishings, boots and shoes, crockery and hardware, house furnishing, groceries and tobaccos.

Miss Brooke, of the grocery staff, resigned her position with the Company and was married on January 1st, 1921. She was presented with a travelling bag by the staff. We wish her all kinds of joy and happiness in her new venture. She was a real "good fellow" and will be greatly missed by us.

Miss Muir has accepted the position made vacant by Miss Brooke of the Grocery Department. We wish Miss Muir every success.

Miss Cozens says she was never "locked out" in her life, but she experienced the feeling of being "locked in." She says "never again."

The Staff presented Mr. A.E. Dodman, our store manager, and Mrs. Dodman with a Christmas gift of a very handsome tea set with best wishes.

* * * * *

A rumour is heard to the effect that Mr. McDonald, the accountant, has become an expert dancer, and has accepted an invitation to teach three ladies the fine points in dancing. Nice for Mac, but kind of tough on the ladies.

* * * * *

After a very busy and most successful Christmas trade the staff have settled down for the most successful January sale we have ever had.

VERNON

_Entire Staff a Santa Claus to Mr. Pout, Xmas_

On Christmas Eve, at the close of the biggest day in the history of the Vernon Store, the staff gathered for a few minutes to extend good wishes and exchange tokens of friendship. At the conclusion, Mr. Pout was captured when trying to tip-toe off, set securely within the smiling circle, and compelled to listen to the following effusion which Tom Bone, the store poet, says he did not compose. It is now being blamed on Jack Ricketts, and so far Jack hasn't denied it.

_Our dear respected Mister Pout
We guess you guess what we're about;
If not, you won't be long in doubt,
But get the sense,
So we shall quickly put to rout
Your dread suspense._

_It's Christmas time, as you well know,
And we have gathered here to show
That years may come and years may go,
With rush and zest,
But our good feelings far outgrow
This timely test?_

_It gives us joy to give to you
This coffee service, bright and new,
And wish that all things good and true
That hope conjures,
May travel all the next year through
With you and yours._

Mr. Pout was too full for words (_honi soit qui mal y pense_), but he managed to express his hearty thanks for the splendid support and co-operation he had received from the entire staff during the Christmas rush, also for the kind thought which prompted the giving of such a beautiful gift.

The coffee pot was one of those long narrow "prohibition" coffee pots that you are unable to tell what is inside of until you taste the contents.

Tom Harrison struck up "He's a Jolly Good Fellow." "Arry" thought it was "Auld Lang Syne" and started off on his own, while James Henderson, in an endeavour to put them both right, commenced "Will You No Come Back Again."

When the company broke up, those three were still at it, and nobody could tell which was winning.--_R.W._

* * * * *

Miss Cridland, treasurer of our Sisters' Sewing Circle, has been absent from the meeting several week. We were surprised to see her at the last meeting. She says her absence has been due to the fact that she had to attend "prayer meetings." We have since learned that a certain young man's "tin Lizzie" is being overhauled. May it take all winter--so Gladys will be at every meeting.

* * * * *

Miss Phillys Ripley, the girl with the sparkling eyes, assisted for several weeks in the hardware department but is back once again at her old stand tying bows for the kiddies. Her eyes still sparkle and there are many beaus waiting for her to cast her spell on one of them so that two may be tied into one bow.

"Wonderful how popular some men are," said Watson, when he heard what happened Christmas Eve. The girls in the dry goods department placed mistletoe on the light over Mr. Andrews' desk--and not one missed him, even Mabel had hers. Nuff sed.

Mr. Tom Bone, assistant manager of the grocery department, the staff poet, has changed his vocation and now spends his evenings making musical instruments. We wonder if it will be jazz or operatic music.

We are glad to learn that Mrs. Griffin, wife of C. Griffin of the men's department, is home once again after being confined to the Hospital several weeks with typhoid fever. We all wish her a speedy recovery.

Vernon, Gem of the Okanagan

--_and the H.B.C. Store, One of Its Institutions_

Thirty years ago, there were only two stores in Vernon, The Hudson's Bay Company and W.F. Cameron, both firms carrying a general line of merchandise. The only other stores in the Okanagan Valley, at this period, were one at Enderby, Landsdowne, Okanagan Mission and Penticton, so that these stores supplied the necessities of life practically to the whole of the Okanagan Valley, reaching from Sicamous to fifty miles beyond Penticton and from Grand Prairie to the White Valley district. The towns of Armstrong and Kelowna, at this period, were not in existence.

Travelling in the early days was by stage and boat in Summer, the boat running from Sicamous to Enderby, thence by stage to Vernon, and the only method of travelling in Winter was by stage or pack horse. Mail, also, was received by these means of transportation.

The great bulk of trading, at that time, was done with Victoria, which was a greater commercial centre than Vancouver. All merchandise from the Coast was carried by freight trains to Sicamous, transferred there to a small steamer as far as Enderby and thence by wagon to Vernon.

Business conditions and the manner of trading in the early days were entirely different to the present day method. There were no banks in the Valley, all banking being done through Vancouver, cheques often passing around as currency and would have as many as a dozen endorsations before reaching the bank.

Yearly credit was the system of trading. Farmers, ranchers, trappers and Indians paid their accounts once a year after they had received money for their crops and catch of furs; the amusing feature in regard to the credit in these days being that the average customer would ask of his account, simply looking at the total and settling up without checking up. Considerable business was done in the bulk, tea sold by the chest, flour and sugar by the ton, and other commodities in similar large quantities.

Thirty years ago the Valley was passing through a stage of transition from stock-raising to wheat producing.

R. P. Rithet & Co. of Victoria controlled a large flour mill at Enderby, where all the wheat of the district was taken and milled. Wheat then sold as low as $18.00 per ton at the mill, the farmer doing his own hauling. A few years later $28.00 per ton was considered a wonderful price.

During the period under review, very little fruit was grown and it was not until 1892 that the growing of fruit was given any serious thought. At that time, Lord Aberdeen purchased the land now known as the Coldstream Ranch and started fruit growing on a fairly large scale, the land being purchased from Forbes G. Vernon. After him the City of Vernon was named. He was, at that time, member for the Okanagan Valley, also Minister of Labor and Works.

At this period the population of Vernon was about 300 and, generally speaking, were considered prosperous.

A Mr. Gray of Nicola was the largest cattle buyer and a general round-up of cattle was made twice a year, when he would make his purchase from the ranchers and drive the cattle out to the coast or prairie markets.

(_To be continued_)

_The Secret of Success_

In the fall a Methodist minister came into the Edmonton exhibition offices and inquired where he could purchase a good, reliable horse. He was directed to R. B. Hill's stables, where, after a judicious amount of deliberation, he decided on a horse which suited his fancy and pocket, and took him home. Two days afterwards he came back to Mr. Hill and stated that the horse was blind, and within the rules as prescribed by the Methodist church he told Mr. Hill just what he thought of the deal, and asked him why he had not been informed that the horse was blind, before purchasing him. Mr. Hill very modestly replied that he had not thought he should tell him, as the man from whom he got the horse in the first place had said nothing about this defect, and he thought it was a secret!!

_No Wonder_

Editor--"We are sorry to lose your subscription, Mr. Jackson. What's the matter? Don't you like our politics?"

Mistah Jackson--"T'aint dat, sah; t'aint dat. Mah wife jes' been an' landed a job o' work for me by advertisin' in youh darned ole papah."

_Didn't Need To_

A young Irishman recently applied for a job as life-saver at the municipal baths.

As he was about six feet six inches high and well built, the chief life-saver gave him an application blank to fill out.

"By the way," said the chief life-saver, "can you swim?"

"No," replied the applicant; "but I can wade like blazes!"

_He Got the Job_

Police Commissioner--"If you were ordered to disperse a mob what would you do?"

Applicant--"Pass around the hat."

P.C.--"You'll do."

_Two Strings to Her Beau_

He--"If you could only have two wishes come true, what would you wish for?"

She (frankly)--"Well, I'd wish for a husband."

He--"That's the only one."

She--"I'd save the other wish until I saw how he turned out."

_Well! Well!_

"I say, who was here with you last night?"

"Only Myrtle, father."

"Well, tell Myrtle that she left her pipe on piano."

_Fifty-Fifty_

A man from Toronto reported that an African resident of that city did a rattling business in rabbit sausages, until some of his customers began to question the quality of the goods. A committee waited on the merchant, and asked him if any meat other than that of rabbits went into the sausages. He reluctantly admitted that there was another meat in them, and when pressed further said that the dilution was by means of horse meat. The chairman of the committee then asked him the proportion of the two ingredients, and he said fifty-fifty. The committee started to withdraw when a heretofore silent member raised the question as to what the merchant meant by "fifty-fifty." "Why, boss, by fifty-fifty ah means one rabbit and one hawss."

_All Engaged_

An Irishman who had lately come over was sent to call a taxi. In about half an hour he returned and reported as follows: "Some wan be the name of Hire has the most of thim ingaged, and the only wans he didn't have some wan else had."

_Slim, Slimmer, Slimmest_

Last week we read of a firm--manufacturers of petticoats--which went into bankruptcy. They stated in explanation that women, in the shrinking process of appearing taper, had ceased wearing 'em.

To-day we notice the advertisement of a ladies' tailor: "Suits made to order, with or without material."

Without material? Gad Zooks!

We cut out that ad and burned it lest our wife should find it.

_Some Ditty_

There was a young man from the city,
Who met what he thought was a kitty;
He gave it a pat
And said, "Nice little cat!"
And they buried his clothes out of pity.

_Vaccination Problem_

Classical Dancer--"Doctor, I want to be vaccinated somewhere where it won't show."

Doctor--"Well, miss, I'm afraid I will have to vaccinate internally."

_The Safety Vent_

"A friend of mine fell asleep in the bathtub with the water running."

"Did the tub overflow?"

"Nope; luckily he sleeps with his mouth open."

H.B.C. IMPERIAL MIXTURE "_Canada's National Smoke_"

_The Tin with the Humidor Top_

* * * * *

Transcriber's Notes:

Obvious unintentional spelling (Canadian English) & punctuation
errors repaired.