Chapter XXVI: Nicknames

The nicknames that are given in the Army show what keen observers soldiers are. The German howitzer shells are eight to nine inches in calibre, and on impact they send up columns of greasy black smoke. On account of this they are irreverently dubbed "Coal-boxes," "Black Marias," or "Jack Johnsons" by our soldiers.

Guns were christened "Black Peter," "Stammering Sam," "Jimmy," "The Warbler," "Weeping Willie."

The German machine gun is called "The Carpenter," "The Gramophone," "The Alarm Clock," "Lightning."

All shells are "Souvenirs." Some are called "Will-o'-the-Wisps" and "Humming Birds." Some "Sighing Sarahs," some "Porridge Pots." "Woolly Marias" are shells that burst in double puffs of white woolly smoke.

"Baby" and "Mother" are far-reaching guns of ours. The latter is so called because it takes good care of our infantry. Another gun has the name of "The Hot Cross Bun" because it is hot, snorts as if always cross, and takes the bun by its ability to hit what it is fired at nearly every time.

Bullets are called "Haricot Beans."

This is from a soldier's letter: "A chap in our company has got a ripping cure for neuralgia, but he isn't going to take out a patent, because it's too risky, and might kill the patient. He was lying in the trenches the other day nearly mad with pain in his face, when a German shell burst close by. He wasn't hit, but the explosion knocked him senseless for a bit. 'Me neuralgia's gone,' says he, when he came round. 'And so's six of your mates,' says we. 'Oh, cricky,' says he. His name's Palmer, and that's why we call the German shells now 'Palmer's Neuralgia Cure.' I am writing this under fire. Every now and again a little message from the Kaiser comes whizzing in this direction, but no damage is being done, and we don't worry. Bang! Another message."

Our soldiers called the German General Von Kluck "Old One O'Clock," partly because of his name and partly because his troops nearly always attacked at that time of the night.

German soldiers are known as "Sausages" and the Uhlan Lancers as the "Ewe lambs." The Kaiser himself is no more to our men than "Willie the Weed," or "Crazy Bill."

In letters from the front there used to be puzzling references to "Asquiths." Now we know this is the name for French matches, because you have to "Wait and see" what happens when you strike one. German snipers are known as "Little Willies" and some of the shells as "Whistling Willies."

The outer line of trenches, where the men are posted at first to draw the German fire, is known as the "drawing-room," and the inner line, where the attacks are really met, is called the "reception-room." The ground at the rear where the dead are buried is the "dormitory."

When a "Taube" aeroplane approaches British lines the men call out "Here comes a stormy petrol."

Between 9 and 10 p.m. German sharpshooters generally came out to fire on any man who exposed himself. This was called "The good-night kiss."

The emergency ration becomes "The imaginary ration." A British soldier was given by a Frenchman a tame rabbit. He kept it in one of the trenches; but called it an emergency ration, because, though fond of his pet, he might one day have to kill and eat it.

Very appropriate is the football metaphor, which describes spies as "playing off side" and prisoners as "ordered off the field."

Metaphor comes also from picture houses, and when a man says that he "has been given a stall for the pictures" it is understood that he has to do duty during the night in a rifle-pit close under the enemy's line.

Barbed wire entanglements are "fly traps" and "spiders' webs."

A certain village was called shrapnel village because the Germans shelled it all day and only killed a chicken.