Chapter M: W. Is a Fool; (14)

Prince Puckler-Muskau's Tour, 355

Punning, 316, 320

Punting, 566

Putney Bridge, 568

---- Hook's residence at, 30

_Ramsbottom Papers_, 26, 41-130

Ramsbottom, Mrs., her party, 41;
Her Journal in England and France, 46;
death of her husband, 69;
visits Rome, _ib._;
objects to being dramatised, 72;
visits Dieppe, 73;
describes Hastings, 75;
relates some anecdotes of her son-in-law, 78;
on the House of Commons, 79;
on the Canning Administration, 81;
on smoking, 84;
conundrums, 85;
writes from Cheltenham, 87;
from Hastings, 90;
gives her opinion of the relative merits of Margate and Brighton, 96;
contemplates the collection of her Letters into a volume, 102;
writes from Gravesend, 105;
her opinions on Popery, _ib._;
at the Royal Academy, 108;
at the Chiswick Fête, 111;
writes from Walmer about the collection of her Letters under the title
of _The Ramsbottom Papers_, 117;
in a "pick of trubbles," 118;
her opinions on public events, 120;
declares herself a convert to "Reform," 123;
on the House of Lords, 128;
a next door neighbour of, 393

Ray's English Proverbs, 237

Rogers, Samuel, 75, 78, 178, 389

Russell, Lord John, 164;
the "widow's mite," 573

Sheridan, Tom, Adventure of, 499

Summary Proceedings of Winter, 563

Sussex, Duke of, 211

Swift's _Directions to Servants_, 333

_Tentamen_, 23, 207-246

Terry, Daniel, acts in a farce of Theodore Hook's, 14;
joins Hook in _The Arcadian_, 24

Thirty-nine Articles, the, 562

Twining's Tea, 522

_Vacation Reminiscences_, 159

_Venice Preserved_, 513

Ward, Mr., his Allegorical Picture of Waterloo, 249

Warren's Blacking, 564

Wine-cellar and the Book-seller, the, 565

Wood, Matthew, satirised under the name of Whittington, 23, 210;
mentioned _sæpius_ in the Political Songs

Hazell, Watson, and Viney, Printers, London and Aylesbury.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] She was the authoress of, at least, one theatrical piece, "The Double Disguise," played with success at Drury Lane, in 1784, her husband providing the music.

[2] Dr. Hook amused himself about fifty years ago, by writing two novels, "Pen Owen," and "Percy Mallory," which at the time were commonly ascribed to Theodore, and which would hardly have done him any discredit. They have been republished, as they well deserved to be, in a cheap form. The picture of the Cato-street Conspiracy, in one of them, is most striking.

[3] The "Babillard" of M. Charles Maurice.

[4] "The Man of Sorrow." A Novel. In Three Volumes. By Alfred Allendale, Esq. London: Printed for Samuel Tipper, Leadenhall Street, 1808.

[5] "He was a MAN OF SORROW, and acquainted with Grief."

[6] A slight obliquity of vision for which his lordship was remarkable suggested the title--a passable adaptation of Theodore's own joke--"Hook and _Eye_."

[7] There can be little doubt that the following was also written by Hook:--

"The Radical Harmonist; or, a Collection of Songs and Toasts given at the late Crown and Anchor Dinner. Collected by Old Tom of Oxford. To which is subjoined, The Goose's Apology, a Michaelmas Ode. London: printed for W. Wright, 46, Fleet Street, 1820." It is issued by the publisher of "Tentamen," of which there is an advertisement on the fly-leaf. One of the songs (p. 11) bears a remarkable resemblance to Mrs. Muggins's Visit to the Queen.

[8] It may seem strange that he should have been capable of thus making sport to the Philistines out of his own calamity and disgrace; but it is stranger still that he is said to have in fact adopted some hints from a version of Allan's suicide, which found favour with the lowest only of his political haters, and the circulation of which in a street broadside had seemed to give him very serious annoyance. We quote some verses of this doggrel, just to show that Hook had to take as well as give:--

"Then Hook says to Allan, 'We're blown, my poor nigger,
We at last are found out to be loose in the figure;
We have sacked it and spent it, and cannot repay,
So let's e'en hop the twig in the old Roman way!'

'O massa!' says Allan, 'whatever you do,
It will comfort my heart to accompany you.
That there grog at the governor's! O, what a goose!
Which is best, steel or lead, or a drop of the juice?'

'First a drop of the juice this here bottle contains--
And then barkers, like gemmen, to blow out our brains!
Here they are, fill your glass, to that bed-room retire--
Make ready, present, and when mine goes off--fire!'

Humble Allan then manfully emptied his glass,
And with pistol on cock to the bed-room did pass;
In a moment he heard massa's _bang_, and the nigger
In his mouth clapp'd the muzzle and drew back the trigger.

Then the beaks tumbled in, black and bistre and yellow,
And found Hook in great horror beside the poor fellow.
His own bullet of course perforated the floor--
And the peacher could now be cross-questioned no more."

[9] "Sayings and Doings" provoked a rather pungent satirical pamphlet, entitled "Sayings and Doings Considered, with On Dits, Family Memoirs, etc., etc., etc. London: Allman, 1825," p. 46.

[10] The Vatican.

[11] Annibale Caracci.

[12] Giorgione.

[13] Gray's Inn.

[14] _Trop fort._

[15] _Calembours._

[16] The _dénoûment_ of that _faux pas_.

[17] Phrenology.

[18] Arians.

[19] John Cam Hobhouse (afterwards Lord Broughton), the friend of Byron.

[20] This is a poetical licence; for by the paternal solicitude of Sir Francis B----, little Cammy was rescued from the dreadful contamination. It was not unamusing to see the worthy baronet start with horror at the idea of sending a _gentleman_, like his friend, to a nasty, damp, filthy prison. We thought the laws were to know no distinctions, particularly the laws of the Radicals.--_Arcadian._

[21] At a meeting at a tavern in the Strand, Hunt observed that Mr. H----'s Newgate manœuvre "savoured a little of an election trick."--_Arcadian._

[22] From the _John Bull_.

[23] The last word is illegibly written in the manuscript--it looks like _hare_, but it seems that it ought to rhyme to _fore_--we leave it to the sagacity of our readers.--_Author's Note._

[24] Mr. Creevy, on bringing forward a motion for the reform of the Board of Control, March 16, 1822, took occasion to observe: "It happened that he had himself been Secretary, once upon a time, to this Board; during the thirteen months he was there, there was no board at all that he ever saw. His right honourable friend (Mr. Tierney) sat in one room, himself in another, and the gentlemen commissioners in a third. * * * He must also state, that during all the time he was there, there was not business enough for the situation." An admission which elicited the following sarcasm from Mr. Canning. "It seemed," said the latter, "a little extraordinary, that the idle secretary should be the person who called for such an inquiry. This was reform with a vengeance. This was no unfaithful picture of those principles on which reform was usually clamoured for. If they traced the principles of those who raised that clamour to their source, it would be found that _habites rem confitentem_, and that, nine times out of ten, the evil existed only when the clamour was raised. It was beyond his hopes that any Hon. Gent. should be so blinded by his fancies as to come forward with such a notice under such circumstances, crying aloud, _'Me, me, adsum qui (non) feci!_' I am the man who did nothing; and I now call upon you to inquire why those men associated with me, and who were diligent, failed to follow my example."--_Barham._

[25] On a motion being made, Jan. 31, 1821, in the House, respecting the Queen's annuity, Mr. Brougham rose and presented a message on the part of Her Majesty: "She feels it due to the House and to herself respectfully to declare, that she perseveres in the resolution of declining any arrangement while her name continues to be excluded from the Liturgy." A subscription equivalent to the proposed allowance was talked of; but her Majesty was eventually induced to reconsider her determination, and accept the £50,000 per annum.--_Barham._

[26] It may not be known to many of our readers, that Mr. Scarlett, upon some little error in grammar, in the King's Bench, was referred to the authority of Lowth. "Lowth!" said the erudite lawyer, "what d'ye mean by Lowth?--it's no bull, and I never was in Ireland."--It is hardly necessary to remind our readers in general, though Mr. Scarlett was not aware of the circumstance, that Bishop Lowth, who wrote the English Grammar, was not a county in Ireland, which happens to be of the same name.--_Author's Note._

[27]

"Do you know me?"
"Excellent well; you are a _fishmonger_."

HAMLET.

[28] The badness of the times, according to that Venerable Bede of modern days, Mr. Cartwright, is owing to the Septennial Parliament Bill (1 Geo. I. cap. 38); but according to the better opinion of Mr. J. C. Boghouse, to the battle of Waterloo. (_vide_ Panegyr. Nap. Bon. passim.)

[29] Vide Caius de Canibus Britannicis c. de Majoribus.

[30] Vide _Restituta_ by the learned Sir Egerton Brydges, Knight of St. Joachim, A.S.S.

[31] In this chapter Mr. Edward Dixon has favoured me with a dissertation to show that the proverb "more knave than fool," was first used in Whittington's time, and that there is strong reason to suppose that the true reading is, "more fool than knave." Lest this learned dissertation on so curious a topic should be lost, or even delayed to the world, I have furnished it to my worthy and most erudite friend Mr. Macvey Napier, as an article for his forthcoming Encyclopædia Edinburgensis.

[32] See also on this interesting subject the Pepysian MSS. in Magd. Libr. Cantab.--Report of the Commissioners of Naval Revision, Folio LIV.--And the Earl of Darnley's late Speech on the state of the Fleets, in which last particularly, the whole matter is treated with that clearness, ability, knowledge, and conciseness for which the noble and learned peer is remarkable.

[33] "Mission to Ashantee," p. 431, last edition.

[34] Barthol. de Spina. Quest. de Strigibus, cap. 8. Mal. Malefica, tom. 2, disputes at large the transformation of Witch into Cats, and their sucking _spirits_ as well as blood, which Godelman, lib. de Lamiis, would have à stridore et avibus fœdissimis ejusdem nominis; but, as I think, without good reason.

[35] Edit. Lond. Dean and Munday, 1819, p. 17.

[36] Probably not in these words, because they are Shakespeare's.--_Printer's Devil._

[37] A complete exposure of their unfairness on the latter point, has been lately given in the life of the celebrated Mr. Edgeworth by himself and his daughter; in which he shows, that he had invented telegraphs some years before the French, though he had with a blameable modesty kept the secret entirely to himself till the French had infamously pirated his invention.

[38] Ray, in his "History of English Proverbs," states this circumstance to have originated the subsequently familiar saying of "to let the Cat out of the bag."

[39] Higgins in his Treatise on Oyster-Shells (by the way, a remarkably shrewd and entertaining work), mentions the story of Whittington and his Cat, and attributes her easy compliance with his wishes to a charm, which he says was afterwards adopted by Ben Jonson in his Masque of Queens, celebrated Feb. 6th, 1609, beginning with these words:--

"The weather is fair, the wind is good,
Up, dame, on your horse of _Wood_."

Delrio. Disq. Mag. lib. 11, Quæst. VI. has a story out of Triezius, about this horse of Wood; "but that which our witches call so is usually the staff, or _handle of a Broom_!" Vide Remiq. Dæmonol. lib. 1, cap. 14. Boden, 1. 2, cap. 4.

[40] I am informed that Lord Holland has a very interesting Tract touching this subject, called "Thee Siege of Windsorre," which I confess I should have much liked to have consulted; but Mrs. Blinkinsop is one of those old-fashioned women who choose to be particular, and I have been by her prevented from making the only interest through which I could have hoped to have obtained the loan of it.

[41] How easy it is to trace the source of good-breeding at this epoch, when one would have supposed that a man in Matthew's sphere (through ignorance), would have seated himself snugly by the side of his _protegée_, with as much familiarity as if she had been Mrs. Whittington; but the Black Prince had just at the time set such an example to the people, in his behaviour to the French king; to whom he declared, "that being a subject, he was too well acquainted with the distance between his own rank, and that of Majesty, to assume such a freedom as to sit in its presence."--(Hume, vol. iii. p. 88.) That the tone of good-breeding pervaded all classes, and reached even Matthew, who by the excessive delicacy and respect with which he had attended his lady, not only raised himself in the eyes of everybody, but practically upheld the claim she had on their interest and affections.

[42] The name of the last of these modern ladies, (the histories of all of whom may be found in Messrs. Vandenhok and Ruprecht's Gallerie Merkwürdiger Fraunzimmer, Ed. Gottingen, 1794 and 1798) reminds me of a jest, which, though modern, is not without its whimsicality. Mr. Perry, proprietor and editor of the newspaper called the _Morning Chronicle_, having one day descanted somewhat freely on politics, was asked by one of his hearers to what party he professed to belong. "To the Whigs, to be sure," said Perry. "So do I," rejoined his friend, "but not to the _Perry-Whigs_."

[43] Josephus Miller, edit. Lond. (no date) page 42.

[44] The crime she was charged with, it may be necessary to say, was sorcery, not murder:--putting people _out_ of the world she had never been accused of.

[45] Palæphatus de incredibilibus.--Ed. 1649.

[46] The strongest contradiction to the assertion that she _never_ assumed the human form may be found in a work intituled _Institutione di uno fanciullo nato nobilimente_.--Ed. 1558.

[47] _John Bull_, Oct. 14, 1821.

[48] _John Bull_, Oct. 13, 1822.

[49] _John Bull_, March 30, 1823.

[50] The reader will scarcely require to be informed that Leigh Hunt is the person alluded to--_Ed._

[51] Keats.

[52] It will be remembered how this patriot, who bullied himself into Horsemonger Gaol, snivelled to get himself out again--but to no purpose. Yet he has perpetually Hampden and Sydney in his mouth.--_Don Juan._

[53] This paper was written to ridicule the innumerable books of idle gossip, published immediately after Lord Byron's death, by Captain Medwin and others, in which the noble Poet's slightest remarks and most trivial habits were chronicled with the zeal, but probably without the accuracy, of a Boswell.--_Ed._

[54] This notice was written in ridicule of an absurd book, now become very scarce, by Dr. Dillon, entitled: "The Lord Mayor's Visit to Oxford, written at the desire of the Party by the Chaplain of the Mayoralty, 1826."--_Ed._

[55] Published as a note at the end of the novel of "Gilbert Gurney."

[56] Contributed to a tiny Annual for Children, entitled "The Christmas Box." Edited by T. Crofton Croker, 1828.

[57] _John Bull_, May 4, 1828.

[58] For its trenchant irony, this little piece is worthy to rank with Swift's celebrated "Directions to Servants."--_Ed._

[59] From "The Man of Sorrow," 1808, iii., 93-95. By "Mr. Minus" is understood Thomas Moore, then better known under his own pseudonym of "Little."--_Ed._

[60] The Words and Music by T. Minus, Esq., price 5s., published in Bond Street.

[61] Of the _John Bull_ newspaper.--_Ed._

[62] Tour in England, Ireland, and France, in the years 1828 and 1829. With remarks on the manners and customs of the inhabitants, and anecdotes of distinguished characters. By a German Prince. 2 vols. 12mo. London. 1831.

[63] From "Gilbert Gurney."

[64] From "Gurney Married."

[65] From "Gilbert Gurney."

[66] This story, which Hook used to relate at dinner-parties, was afterwards amplified into a chapter of _Gilbert Gurney_. (See "The Visit to Wrigglesworth," _anteà_, p. 425.)--_Ed._

[67] From the musical Farce of "Catch Him Who Can" (1806).

[68] From "Catch Him who Can."

[69] From "The Fortress," a drama in three acts (1807). This song was sung with great success by Mathews. Vide _anteà_, p. 9.

[70] From the Farce of "Music Mad" (1808).

[71] From "Gilbert Gurney."

[72] From "Gilbert Gurney."

[73] From "Gilbert Gurney."

[74] This humorous sketch originally appeared (July, 1829) in _Sharpe's London Magazine_, a brief-lived monthly, which only reached its third number. The substance of it was afterwards incorporated into the novel of "Gilbert Gurney," where the name of Scropps was altered to Firkins. See the paper entitled "Lord Wenables Again" (p. 304).

[75] George the Fourth.

[76] Mr. Barham gives a different version of this hoax, and makes Terry, not Mathews, the coadjutor in it.--_Ed._

[77] This reminds us of Byron's jest on the Trinity, in _Don Juan_:

"I devoutly wish'd the three were four,
On purpose to believe so much the more."

[78] The name of _Belvoir_ is thus pronounced.--_Ed._

[_March, 1883._

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=Jennings.=--=The Rosicrucians=:

Their Rites and Mysteries. With Chapters on the Ancient Fire and
Serpent Worshippers. By HARGRAVE JENNINGS. With Five full-page
Plates and upwards of 300 Illustrations.

=Jerrold (Tom), Works by=:

The Garden that Paid the Rent. By TOM JERROLD. Fcap. 8vo,
illustrated cover, 1_s._; cloth limp, 1_s._ 6_d_.

Household Horticulture: A Gossip about Flowers. By TOM and JANE
JERROLD. Illustrated. Post 8vo, cloth limp, 2_s._ 6_d._

Our Kitchen Garden: The Plants we Grow, and How we Cook Them. By
TOM JERROLD. Post 8vo, cloth limp, 2_s._ 6_d._

=Jones (William, F.S.A.), Works by=:

Finger-Ring Lore: Historical, Legendary, and Anecdotal. With over
200 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._

Credulities, Past and Present: including the Sea and Seamen,
Miners, Talismans, Word and Letter Divination, Exorcising and
Blessing of Animals, Birds, Eggs, Luck, &c. With an Etched
Frontispiece. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._

Crowns and Coronations: A History of Regalia in all Times and
Countries. With about 150 Illustrations, many full-page. Crown
8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._
[_In preparation._

Two Vols. 8vo, with 52 Illustrations and Maps, cloth extra, gilt, 14_s._

=Josephus, The Complete Works of.=

Translated by WHISTON. Containing both "The Antiquities of the
Jews" and "The Wars of the Jews."

Small 8vo, cloth, full gilt, gilt edges, with Illustrations, 6_s._

=Kavanagh.=--=The Pearl Fountain=,

And other Fairy Stories. By BRIDGET and JULIA KAVANAGH. With
Thirty Illustrations by J. MOYR SMITH.

Crown 8vo, illustrated boards, with numerous Plates, 2_s._ 6_d._

=Lace (Old Point), and How to Copy and=

Imitate it. By DAISY WATERHOUSE HAWKINS. With 17 Illustrations by
the Author.

=Lane's Arabian Nights, &c.=:

The Thousand and One Nights: Commonly called, in England, "THE
ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS." A New Translation from the
Arabic, with copious Notes, by EDWARD WILLIAM LANE. Illustrated
by many hundred Engravings on Wood, from Original Designs by WM.
HARVEY. A New Edition, from a Copy annotated by the Translator,
edited by his Nephew, EDWARD STANLEY POOLE. With a Preface by
STANLEY LANE-POOLE. Three Vols., demy 8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._
6_d._ each.

Arabian Society in the Middle Ages: Studies from "The Thousand
and One Nights." By EDWARD WM. LANE, Author of "The Modern
Egyptians," &c. Edited by STANLEY LANE-POOLE. Cr. 8vo, cloth
extra, 6_s._

=Lamb (Charles)=:

Mary and Charles Lamb: Their Poems, Letters, and Remains. With
Reminiscences and Notes by W. CAREW HAZLITT. With HANCOCK'S
Portrait of the Essayist, Facsimiles of the Title-pages of the
rare First Editions of Lamb's and Coleridge's Works, and numerous
Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 10_s._ 6_d._

Lamb's Complete Works, in Prose and Verse, reprinted from the
Original Editions, with many Pieces hitherto unpublished.
Edited, with Notes and Introduction, by R. H. SHEPHERD. With Two
Portraits and Facsimile of a Page of the "Essay on Roast Pig."
Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._

"_A complete edition of Lamb's writings, in prose and verse,
has long been wanted, and is now supplied. The editor appears
to have taken great pains to bring together Lamb's scattered
contributions, and his collection contains a number of pieces
which are now reproduced for the first time since their original
appearance in various old periodicals._"--SATURDAY REVIEW.

Poetry for Children, and Prince Dorus. By CHARLES LAMB.

Carefully Reprinted from unique copies. Small 8vo, cloth extra,
5_s._

"_The quaint and delightful little book, over the recovery
of which all the hearts of his lovers are yet warm with
rejoicing._"--A. C. SWINBURNE.

Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6_s._

=Lares and Penates=;

Or, The Background of Life. By FLORENCE CADDY.

"_The whole book is well worth reading, for it is full of
practical suggestions. We hope nobody will be deterred from
taking up a book which teaches a good deal about sweetening poor
lives as well as giving grace to wealthy ones._"--GRAPHIC.

Crown 8vo, cloth extra, with Illustrations, 7_s._ 6_d._

=Life in London=;

or, The History of Jerry Hawthorn and Corinthian Tom. With the
whole of CRUIKSHANK'S Illustrations, in Colours, after the
Originals.

Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6_s._

=Lights on the Way=:

Some Tales within a Tale. By the late J. H. ALEXANDER, B.A.
Edited, with an Explanatory Note, by H. A. PAGE, Author of
"Thoreau: A Study."

=Longfellow=:

Longfellow's Complete Prose Works. Including "Outre Mer,"
"Hyperion," "Kavanagh," "The Poets and Poetry of Europe," and
"Driftwood." With Portrait and Illustrations by VALENTINE
BROMLEY. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._

Longfellow's Poetical Works. Carefully Reprinted from the
Original Editions. With numerous fine Illustrations on Steel and
Wood. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._

Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 5_s._

=Lunatic Asylum, My Experiences in a.=

By A SANE PATIENT.

"_The story is clever and interesting, sad beyond measure though
the subject be. There is no personal bitterness, and no violence
or anger. Whatever may have been the evidence for our author's
madness when he was consigned to an asylum, nothing can be
clearer than his sanity when he wrote this book; it is bright,
calm, and to the point._"--SPECTATOR.

Demy 8vo, with Fourteen full-page Plates, cloth boards, 18_s._

=Lusiad (The) of Camoens.=

Translated into English Spenserian Verse by ROBERT FFRENCH DUFF.

=McCarthy (Justin, M.P.), Works by=:

History of Our Own Times, from the Accession of Queen Victoria to
the General Election of 1880. Four Vols., demy 8vo, cloth extra,
12_s._ each.--Also a POPULAR EDITION, in Four Vols., crown 8vo,
cloth extra, 6_s._ each.

A Child's History of Our Own Times. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 4_s._
6_d._
[_In preparation._