Chapter XIV: Mr. Crow's Plot

While one might have counted twenty Mr. Rabbit remained in a listening attitude, and then, shaking his ears with a gesture which was very like that of mental relief, said with a smile as he stroked his whiskers swaggeringly:

"Do you know, just for a minute I thought the smell of young Mr. Fox was in the air. When I got rid of that fellow's grandfather I said to Mrs. Bunny that a full half of all our troubles had disappeared out of the big woods, with the evidence of the good fortune nailed up on Mr. Man's barn; but I had entirely forgotten that the old rascal left behind him a regular gang of children and grandchildren, and I truly believe they are the worst to be found anywhere in this world, to say nothing of their being able to run twice as fast as their grandfather ever could even in his best days.

"I wonder why it is that the Fox family have such a hankering for rabbit pie, stew, or even plain rabbit? Of course, they don't turn up their noses at a good plump partridge, and they know how to catch him, too, when the snow is deep; but I verily believe there's nothing goes quite so near the right spot in a fox's stomach as rabbit meat. Mr. Crow says that years and years ago, when the mountains were only grown into little hills, Clote Scarpe, the Great Spirit who made all the birds and animals, used to walk around listening to any complaint his creatures might make. I wish he would come around the big woods now! You can set it down as a fact that I'd beg him to fix it so that the first taste of rabbit would make a fox so sick that he'd come pretty near turning himself inside out, and then there'd be a little peace for my family.

"No; it's as you say, Clote Scarpe doesn't pay very much attention to us wood folks now, and it wouldn't surprise me a little bit if it were all one of Mr. Crow's yarns--I mean about the Great Spirit's listening to our troubles, for if anything like that ever had happened, it seems as if some of my people would have fixed it for us long ago. Yet, if you'd listen to Mr. Turtle, he'd tell you that years and years ago, before even the rocks had grown, one of his greatest, greatest grandfathers, who didn't have any hard shell on his back, went to Clote Scarpe and had himself fixed so that none of the animals could bite him, and that's the reason why he's got a house to live in this day that even Jimmy Hedgehog can't harm.

"Don't be afraid that I won't finish my story I began a while ago. Speaking of the Fox family brought my mind to what Mrs. Bunny and I have talked over many and many a time, and I couldn't seem to help telling you about it. Now I'll go on about the fix I found myself in when I was going up to the club to tell the president that I'd have to give over being a member because it was making so much trouble for me at home. And do you know, that very scrape with young Mr. Fox was what broke up our meetings at Crow's Corner? It's a fact, though perhaps the same thing might have happened in some other way.

"Well, there I was standing face to face with young Mr. Fox, and he grinning at me in a way that said just as plain as words could have done what a good time he'd have eating me. Goodness, I'm trembling even now to think of what he might have done before I had a chance to wag my ear if he'd known that I was the one who led his grandfather into the trap where Mr. Man could get hold of him so easily! When he didn't even speak after I'd talked to him so sweetly the idea came into my head that perhaps I might jump right over his back and so get out of the hole in that way; but it seemed as if he must have known what was in my mind, for he said with another of his beastly grins:

"'Don't try to do anything like that, Bunny Rabbit, for I'm a good deal more spry with my feet than ever grandfather was, and I'd catch you on the fly.'

"'Perhaps you're making a mistake as to what I was thinking about,' I said innocent-like, as if I didn't have sense enough to go home when it rained. 'I was saying to myself that you had quite the most beautiful tail I ever saw on one of your family.'

"Do you know, that struck him just right, and for the life of him he couldn't help turning his head to look at it, though, between you and me, it wasn't anything extra in the way of a tail; except for the size, Cheeko had a better one--more bushy and with much finer hair. Young Mr. Fox took all I said in sober earnest and began waving that fly-brush of his to and fro so he could see it the more plainly and then was come the time I'd been playing for!

"The very minute he turned his head I gave the jump of my life, and it was as many as ten feet straight in the air, beating the Rabbit record by more than five inches. I sailed right over a big alder bush, and when I came down on my feet, young Mr. Fox had just got it into his head that I'd played him a trick. Now you can set it down as a fact that I didn't linger around there any very great while!

"I was off like a runaway streak of lightning the very instant I had the ground under my paws, and, of course, young Mr. Fox started after me; but I had a good three yards the start of him, and to a rabbit who holds the record for running, as I do, that was a mighty long distance. Then again I knew all the crooks and turns in our part of the big woods, while Grandfather Fox's grandson wasn't very well acquainted in that part of the country.

"Before I'd much more than struck my gait I knew I could give him the slip whenever I wanted to, and it seemed as if it would do the foolish fellow a world of good to teach him a lesson that he wouldn't forget right away, so I set about doing it to the Queen's taste. First I took a turn over by the pond, where the ground was so wet in spots that he'd sink in two or three inches at every leap, while, by skimming along the edge, I was tiring him out, which was what I didn't want to do till he'd got it considerably harder than he had up to that time.

"Then I tore round by the head pine tree, where Senator Bear lives, thinking that perhaps the old fellow himself might like to take a hand in the game, but he wasn't at home. After that I hiked it up Hemlock Hill, where I could run under the fallen timber and through the thorn bushes, while he'd have to show what he was able to do in the way of jumping, or go a long bit around.

"That was the part of the race that broke his heart, and when I circled over the top, allowing I'd give him a sight of the club's meeting place, I saw him sitting down trying to pull a thorn out of his left hind foot. Then I laughed and cut capers till he started down the hill again on his way home, after which I went off hipperty-hop, saying to myself that it would do poor little Sonny Bunny a world of good when I told the story to him.

"Of course I had to go right past the big oak in order to get home, and when I was there the most sensible thing I could do was to stop and have a chat with President Crow, for I wanted to tell him how well I'd served out young Mr. Fox.

"Old Mr. Crow was roosting mighty low that day, talking with Bobby Coon's brother, and when I told him what had happened he laughed till the tears got all mixed up with feathers on his cheeks, for he had heard young Fox telling 'Squire Owl that he was going to make the Rabbit family look mighty sick as soon as he had time to attend to the matter.

"Well, after we'd had a good time over what I'd done and when Bobby's brother had gone away I up and told Mr. Crow that I had to leave the club that very day, else there'd never be any more peace at home for me. The news surprised him terribly, as I understood by the way he kept smoothing out his tail feathers, and it was quite a spell before he could seem to say anything, but when he did speak it was the kind of talk that counted.

"'We'll be sorry to lose you from the club, Bunny,' he said, 'for even though you don't cut any great figure in helping the business along we can always count on you to do the running about when the House Committee want to send out notices, or if it is necessary for me to call a special meeting. Of course I don't want to advise you to do anything which may make trouble at your home; but it's my solemn advice for you to leave your name on the rolls till I've had a chance to talk with Mrs. Bunny. Perhaps she'll look at it in a different light when I've shown her how much good you're getting from keeping company with the other wood folks.'

"Now, I had a pretty good idea that Mrs. Bunny would take a broom to the president, instead of listening to him, if he went to my home while Sonny Bunny was so sick and I told him as much, breaking it gently so he wouldn't get angry; but, bless you, he didn't seem to mind it. He's been around the world so much that he's got a mighty good idea of how things may be at a fellow's home when one of the children has been abused.

"'I'll tell you what it is, Mr. Bunny,' he said, ruffling the feathers on his neck as he always does when he's got some big scheme in his mind, 'Jimmy Hedgehog is the one who's responsible for all the trouble we've been having, and if I can find Mr. Turtle at home I'll rig up a plan that'll make Mr. Hedgehog wish he'd never been quite so pert with the president of the Fur and Feather Club. I don't count on letting that prickly young chap run things his own way around Crow's Corner!'

"'What do you count on doing?' I asked, for I was dreadfully curious by the time he'd got through talking.

"'Leave it to me, Bunny Rabbit. I've been out of the shell too long to stand such nonsense from a hedgehog; but at the same time I don't count on letting you into one of my secrets till the plans are all laid. We'll go around by the way of your home, and there I'll tell Mrs. Bunny what you've said about leaving the club. That'll keep her quiet for a while, or, at least, calm her down so you and she can live in the same house a bit longer, and if my plan works as I think it will she'll be so tickled that you won't hear anything more about her wanting you to keep away from Crow's Corner.'

"Of course I let him have his own way, for, being old, he's so headstrong that you can't stop him from doing what he's set his mind on, no matter how foolish it may be; but I wasn't much surprised, after we came to my home and I'd called Mrs. Bunny out of her hole, to hear her talk quite disrespectfully to him about the club, which she declared was nothing more nor less than an excuse for us animals and birds to idle our time away when we should be at home attending to household affairs.

"He didn't seem to lose his temper a little bit, even when she talked the most, but kept on trying to soothe her by saying that the only trouble we'd ever had in the big woods among ourselves had been caused by Jimmy Hedgehog, but we'd hear nothing more of that kind after his plan had been worked out.

"Mrs. Bunny smoothed down a little before he left, and when he flew off I went into the bedroom to see poor little Sonny Bunny, though I was just fairly dying to know what it was Mr. Crow counted on doing to Jimmy, and why it was necessary for him to see Mr. Turtle.

"Sonny Bunny was looking pretty bad when I went in; but he perked up a good bit after I told him how I'd served out young Mr. Fox, and before a great while he began to play around just as ever, though he was mighty careful not to rub up against anything, on account of being so sore in the places where Jimmy's quills had stuck into him.

"It was the longest while before Mrs. Bunny would so much as listen to my going out again to see what Mr. Crow's trick might be; but after I'd talked so much about it that she began to grow a bit curious herself, she agreed that it would be all right if I didn't stay more than an hour, and took good care to keep away from the Fox family.

"Well, I kissed Sonny Bunny, who cried to go with me, as he might have done if only his mother had been willing, and then off I hopped, puzzling my brain to guess what part Mr. Turtle could have in Mr. Crow's plot."