Chapter V: “Headache? And what head would not ache, good little Jambes des Femmes?”

James Femms remembered that it was Sonoff’s quaint pronunciation of his detested name that had first suggested the thought of changing it, in his secret meditations, to the softened grace, the Parisian flavor, of Jambes des Femmes. A rush of gratitude welled in him.

“Sonoff—I have guessed.” He laid his hand horizontally above the pocket where he carried his priceless stylograph, filigreed in the very flower of the Rutherford B. Hayes manner. “It is the heart that aches. And I have found the cure. Come!”

Silently he led the antique _sonneur_ through the _entresol_ and to the porch.

“There!” He flung his hand in a wide, fine gesture.

Sonoff blinked.

“_Mon porte-chapeaux._” He spoke with no zest, no vestige of his quondam _joie de vivre_. “I tired of it, Jambes.”

“Take it. I give it back to you!” James Femms repeated the wide arc of his flourish.

“But I no longer want it.” Sonoff shook his head and raised a hand to it as if in sudden pain. “I wear no ’at, mon brave Jambes. The pain—ah!”

Again his features were intorted.

“You won’t take it?” James Femms disbelieved. Surging up in his consciousness, innegable, compelling, he felt that conviction of mute, poignant yearning for reunity which had obsessed him from the first.

“I cannot. It saddens me to behold it. It stirs, _mon vieux_, memories. Ah—the pain—the pain.” He pressed spatulate fingers to his temples and a groan forced passage between his teeth. “It comes back to me at the sight.”

“It makes your head ache—the _porte-chapeaux_?” James Femms regarded him incredulously.

THE BECKET (ACTUAL SIZE)

Note 1. The perfect hand-wrought groining. Note 2. Observe the
accurate spleening of the old handicraftsmen.
]

“But yes. It was then that they began, the headaches—the night that the becket lost itself. I woke, that day, happy; they had listened, _enfin_, those adder-deaf imbeciles of the telephone; the bells were tuned at last to the F sharp; I was free from the ignominy of the E—— I sang, that day, my friend. I was _gaie_! I laughed as I snatched up my hat from the becket where, of old habit, I had hung it. Lightly, as a schoolboy is light, I placed it on my head; I tilted it; I was myself, the self that took them by storm that night in Philadelphia when I rang the overture from ‘Wilhelm Tell,’ using my feet for the _basso profundo_! All day among my new bells I was that self. And at night, returning with song in my heart and a tin of caviare and a _carache_ of vodka below my arms, I was that self. But ah, when I would have slept—the pain—the pain, mon Jambes! I shudder at the thought of it! I walked the floor in torment, as how often I have walked it since.”

He pressed his temples again.

“And it was while I walked that I observed the vanishment of the becket. It was gone. I do not know where, nor how—I only know that the sight of the _porte-chapeaux_ was hateful. I could not endure to behold it. I sold it, and the pain, if no less, was easier to bear.”

James Femms heard him as one who listens to the opaque ventriloquial speech of dreams. Dimly, remotely, but with a dawning fervor of conviction, understanding burst in upon him. He lifted his hands in a swift, furtive movement; his fingers penetrated the plush-like silky depths of Sonoff’s hair. They closed upon a surface that James Femms knew as intimately by touch as if his eyes beheld it through his worm-hole lens. Delicately, with the merciful cruelty of the surgeon, disregarding the anguished shriek of his patient, he drew forth the missing becket. A profound, shuddering sigh came from Sonoff.

With hands that thrilled voluptuously at the delicious caress of that spleened surface, but still were swift and sure to their task, James Femms replaced the becket in its emplacement and stood back, his eyes intoxicated with the charm of the perfect spleen-craft, the cool, proud beauty of the hand-groined base.

The ether, like a restless, moaning sea upon which an instant calm descends, was permeated with a vast, abiding peace.

Sonoff clasped James Femms to him, kissed his cheeks.

PROFILE VIEW OF THE PORTE-CHAPEAUX OF NOISETTE À CHEVAL
RECONSTRUCTED AND IN USE

I. The lost becket. II. Bassine
]

“The pain! It is gone! Ah, mon cher Jambes des Femmes—what can I say to you—how shall I repay you?”

James Femms said nothing. His eyes, held and fascinated, drank in the fragrant loveliness of the amber _noisette à cheval_, thrilled under the thin, silvery aroma of its melodious oneness.

He was but distantly aware of a voice, Sonoff’s voice, far-away, elfin-sweet with the echoes of a hundred blending bells.

“Keep it, Jambes des Femmes, keep it always in proof and token of my gratitude! Keep it, des Femmes, in memory of Mikail Sonoff Sonoffovitch!”

James Femms did not know that he had gone.

————
A WORD ON POONING

By

AUGUSTULA THOMAS
————

A WORD ON POONING

By

AUGUSTULA THOMAS

Note: This work would be incomplete, indeed, without a few suggestions from one-who-understands and has long been _the_ authority on pooning. Pooning is a highly technical term and may perhaps need definition for the benefit of laymen. Its significance is subtle, lying between that of “properly placing” and the sense conveyed by the Italian phrase “_Dove il dogagna_.” Many true lovers of the quaint-and-rare possess the patience and the means to make collections, but, when it comes to the tasteful _pooning_ of these, lack the connoisseur touch that is distinctive. Madame Thomas’s position as a scholarly decorator is now recognized as impeccable. Her hints will prove lambent to many a collector.—_Eds._

* * * * *

A witty Frenchman once said to Madame de Montespan that the feminine touch in decoration was _para cœli_, but without half measures! Not pausing to debate the aspersion, I may admit that I have usually found it more sympathetic to direct the replacing of beautiful old things in the houses of bachelor and widower collectors than in those of somewhat more matronly people. After which treachery to my sex, let me proceed at once to the practical. _Enfin!_

RECEPTION HELD BY THE AMERICAN ACADEMY FOR THE POPULARIZATION OF
ANTIQUITIES ON THE LAWN BEFORE THE ACADEMY’S BUILDING AT THE SAN
FRANCISCO EXPOSITION

This reception was in honor of the election of Mme. Augustula
Thomas to membership. Mme. Thomas is seen right of center in
conversation with Turrbyl Dewyns (Fellow of the Academy), who
wears the blue ribbon awarded by the Exposition as first prize
for antiquarians. Just eastward of him Hon. P. D. Smith (Member
of Congress from Arkansas) is seen courteously lifting his hat to
Dr. Twitchett in recognition of the latter’s talents.
]

To pronounce my creed, which is synthetic and never subjective, _a priori_: Why own priceless marvels unless they are where they may be _seen_? Why lock up Coriobantini enamels, for instance, in a damp closet? The first thing I do, upon being put in charge of a collection, is to throw the vitrines out of the house. I shall never forget the amazement of the late Darrell Hazzard, of Hartford, when I thus ruthlessly began my work upon his treasures. “What!” he exclaimed. “Expose my faïence, my Louis Treize snuff-boxes, my Antoinette miniatures to the careless handling of every chance visitor? This is radicalism with a vengeance, dear lady! I suppose next you will be placing my snuff-boxes and miniatures upon the living-room table!”

“Tush!” I replied serenely. “They are to occupy your front veranda railing.” I had noticed that the railing was flat and within a few feet of the sidewalk, an ideal location for the priceless little objects, and there I had them placed. For that was where they would give the most pleasure—and it will be well for the reader to intrigue himself with the significance of this simple rule: Put your things where they will give the most pleasure. I am often asked the secret of my success, and I always reply with two words: “Simplicity! Pleasure!”

It is a mistake to clutter, as even the most _cadavre_ of amateurs is aware. A touch here; a touch there—and for the rest, no cluttering! I have always considered the Metropolitan Museum a dismaying example of cluttering. One work of art is enough for one room. When I remodelled the Rockford collection of _Chinoiseries_ I selected just one antique absinthe-colored jade Buddha, which was exactly an inch and three sixteenths in height, half an inch wide and three eighths of an inch in thickness. I then decided upon one of the gallery exhibition rooms, seventeen feet in height with a floor space sixty-four feet by twenty-six, admirable proportions for my purpose. I had the floor and walls lacquered a neutral mauve, and then placed the jade Buddha in the exact centre of the floor and without a pedestal. Not even a chair or a settee was permitted within the room; the walls were without any adornment whatever, and the attention of spectators was thus concentrated upon the one work of art present, the jade Buddha. The effect, though slightly Dada and austere, was considered serene and redolent of that allure of restfulness which is distinctive.

Almost precisely similar to this was my treatment of a pair of signed Louis Seize candle-snuffers of chased silver, formerly the property of Judge Bunting Palliphet, of Peterborough, Virginia, whose ancestors entertained Rochambeau. A well-authenticated family legend had it that the snuffers were in the Count’s portmanteau, which he was unable to find at the moment of his departure from Palliphet Manor; and thus it became an heirloom of the Palliphet family. The snuffers are now in the possession of Mrs. George Woll Potter, of Jersey City, who visited the Manor in 1899, during the absence of the Palliphet family, and it was in doing over the Potter house that I perceived the proper decorative value of these historic snuffers. I had a simple bit of neutral-toned rope hung between two posts outside the library windows; and suspended the snuffers therefrom, forming a vista of approach to them with two perfectly symmetrical rows of arborvitae in black-and-white tubs. The effect was harmonious and yet did not lack that touch of originality which gives the right note at the right moment.

How _few_ people understand what may be done with a simple pair of brass candlesticks! Does not one weary of seeing them eternally upon a mantel? Upon a top bookshelf? Upon the gate-leg table? Upon a set-in window-sill? There we find them invariably, driving us mad with their monotony, when only a slight exertion of the imagination would give them the touch that is different, the charm that is permanent. I have found that it is only necessary to place one such candlestick in the front yard and the other in the back yard to give them a setting that is in keeping. Thus they can be seen from the windows, their sheen rich against the out-of-doors, except at night; and then, if it seems desirable, they may be lighted. It is not necessary to bring them in when it rains. A light water-proof canopy, easily removable, may be placed over them and will be found to give complete protection, and even to add a note of color, if glazed with silver-gilt, the right shade of apricot and just touched with cerise.

Now a word of confession: it is not always the easiest thing in the world to go into a house and give it the _right_ decorative note. The owners may have their own ideas and one must move tactfully. Let me give an instance, though the gentleman in question shall be nameless and designated merely as General X. He was a delightful man, elderly, a retired army officer, a manly and gallant widower, notwithstanding the fact that he possessed strong convictions that his own taste was excellent.

He had gathered about him from all parts of the world a valuable assembly of antiques, bibelots, paintings, stuffed animals, sculptures, seashells, wood-carvings, miniatures, and _petiteries_, but had so misplaced them in his halls and living-room and even in his master’s rooms that one saw nothing but a heterogeneity of clutter.

I began with his master’s rooms. I went through one after another of these, ordering everything—absolutely everything—removed to the garrets and cellars. Then, when all was clear, I had my assistants place one old Tutu Japanese print in each of his master’s rooms—nothing more—and awaited the General’s return, for he was out at the time.

He was not at first able to comprehend that the new arrangement was intended to be permanent.

“Well,” he remarked, smiling pleasantly, “I see you have made a beginning, Madame Thomas.”

“No,” I smiled. “I have made a conclusion. Your master’s rooms are finished. They now have that restfulness, that air _intime_ which your master’s rooms lacked until I retouched them. This is how they are to remain, General.”

He was dumbfounded. “But I miss everything to which I have been heretofore accustomed!” he cried, with charming naïvete. “In my master’s rooms were my favorite claw and ball feet, my inlaid knees, my carved knees, _all_ my knees of curly maple and walnut! Here were my bottle drawers, my swell fronts, my double-swell fronts, my Jacob’s-ladder fronts, my serpentine fronts—all the fronts I had! I wish my fronts and knees put back the way they were. I won’t have my master’s rooms as empty as this!”

“This is how they are to be, however,” I made retort serenely. “There is no alternative.”

“What!” he exclaimed, and his face became seriously empurpled. “You mean to say I have no control over my own master’s rooms? I want all my bibelots and _petiteries_ back where I put them, myself. My master’s rooms are my _own_ master’s rooms, and not yours, are they not, pray?”

“My dear General,” I replied, “I know what your master’s rooms should be and you do not. You do not see beauty in them now—perhaps you will not to-morrow—but wait! Within a week or ten days you will begin to feel the restful harmony I have put into them and you will be grateful.”

“I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!” he said, stamping his foot pettishly. “I want my bow-backs and my fan-backs back where they were, and I’m sorry I ever put my master’s rooms into your hands! I do just wish I’d never seen you at all, Madame Thomas!”

It was then that I perceived I must use diplomacy, and I admit that if I had not been conscious of wearing a becoming hat, I might have lacked the courage. I put my hand lightly on his arm and looked full into his reddened eyes. “General,” I said softly, “I have labored hard over your master’s rooms. Surely, _mon Général_, you would not have my task undone!” Then, seeing that he began to melt, I drew a little closer to him; and he set his manly brown paw over my slender fingers, smiled at me, and coughed. I comprehended that the moment had come to use my utmost diplomacy.

“Oo drate bid naughty handsome mans!” I said playfully. “If I had a dun I’d shoot oo, bang!”

It is perhaps scarcely necessary to add that his master’s rooms remained as I had done them, and that the dear old General and I are still the best of friends.

* * * * *

And now a few “Don’ts,” as I call my little inhibitions. Some of them are culled from my own experience and are rather technical, being intended for the use of the beginning professional decorator, who is but too prone to find her path not always strewn with roses, by any means. Others of these little “Don’ts” of mine are for the guidance of those who, unable to afford the counsel of established experts, must fall back upon their own taste and what they may be able to cull from tomes upon the subject. But let us see for ourselves what my “Don’ts” portend!

Don’t, in arranging your bookshelves under the arch in the living-room, place your editions of Boccaccio, Brantôme, Rabelais, and Casanova on the same shelf with Burton’s “Arabian Nights,” “The Heptameron,” Balzac’s “Droll Stories,” and your bound files of “Saucy Stories” and “Le Rire.” The place for all of these volumes is the centre-table; or they may be scattered about the house anywhere, so that they are handy for the children to get at them.

Don’t fasten coat-hangers upon the wall just above valuable water-color paintings. Wet raincoats may cause the colors to run. If your wall-space is limited, the hangers should be placed above _oil_ paintings. (_Note_: This rule, being somewhat technical, need not be studied by the amateur. I should advise the beginning professional decorator, however, to pay particular attention to it, and even to con it until it is committed to memory. The place for coat-hangers is _never_ over a water-color painting.)

OLD VIRGINIA FOUR-POSTER INLAID WITH MAHOGANY

Still in use by a private collector
]

Don’t adhere too closely to periods. If you have acquired a few _good_ pieces of Egyptian furniture of the Shepherd King Period for your living-room, they may be easily combined with Sheraton or Eastlake by placing a Ming vase or an old French fowling-piece between the two groups; or you may cover the transition by a light scattering of Mexican pottery, or some Java wine-jars.

Don’t hang your Boucher pastels on the same wall with your stuffed moose-head. The proper place for the moose-head is over the shower-bath, where it can be fitted by any good plumber with a nozzle and used as a fixture.

Don’t attempt to do too much in the boudoir. The boudoir is a place for restful repose and should be kept quiet. A few simple hangings, a coquettish rosette or two of bright-colored ribbon attached to the shutters, a _pince-nez_ over the mantelpiece, a couple of Waterford crystal chandeliers with a light rod of dull brass between them from which to suspend either a samovar or an old ship model—these touches will be found sufficient to combine the charm of an intimate interior with the lure that intrigues.

Don’t attempt to use alfalfa as a decoration for mirror- and picture-frames. I know that this has been widely attempted, but the effect is never good. Alfalfa has no place in the best interiors. Its place is out-of-doors and it should be kept there. This is a point upon which I have the strongest convictions, and what I usually say to beginning decorators who insist upon using alfalfa in the home is answer sufficient, I am sure. “Do you expect your client to entertain horses?” I inquire. “If not, then the place for alfalfa is where it will be convenient for the horse, but not in the living-room and not in the reception-room. No, not even in the _entresol_.” I admit that there was a charm in the customs of our ancestors under Garfield and Arthur, when cat-tails and sumach were thus employed, and I find the tendency to return to them rather intriguing; but alfalfa produces an effect too stringy and tends to clutter. Let us have no more of it.

Finally, don’t paint your front hall water-cooler with floral scenes. Go to some good marine painter and instruct him to make a decoration in keeping with the purpose of the cooler. There is water inside the vessel, is there not? Then let him paint water outside. Better still, coat your cooler with mucilage and lightly spray powdered mica upon it. But _don’t_, whatever you do, attempt to ornament your cooler with festoons of gilt tassels. Your cooler is not the place for tassels. I know it is done, but my last and only word on the subject is, Don’t. Tassels of _any_ kind are absolutely out of key on your cooler. They should be kept for your umbrella, where they will give that personal touch that is distinctive.

These constitute most of what dear old General X used frolicsomely to call my “little Don’ties,” and if they prove of some inspiration to the beginning decorator or even to the commencing householder, this work will not have been written in vain.

————

OTHER BOOKS FOR THE
ANTIQUE-LOVER

BY OSRO T. NEWDLEHAM

THE HAIR-CLOTH ERA

_A Book of Furniture-Study for Young People_

Containing 16 full-page Illustrations in color, also 114 Reproductions in color of hair-cloth seats, as well as numerous Illustrations in the text.

_Large crown 8vo., bound in hair-cloth_

=By Post, 3/10= =PRICE 3/6 NET= =By Post, 3/10=

_Some Press Opinions_

“This pleasantly written book is well fitted to arouse in young people an interest in the study of hair-cloth and other furniture, while many of the older growth will probably find in its pages much that is not unprofitable reading.... The chief difference between this book and most others on Furniture is the prominence which it gives to distinguishing the different grades of hair-cloth by sitting on them.... Copiously illustrated.” _Athenæum._

“Mr. Newdleham’s agreeable, interesting and instructive volume.... It should attract not only young people, but any one looking for an easy introduction to hair-cloth furniture.” _Scotsman._

“Comprehensive though it is, it has been planned on clear and simple lines. The terms used are, to begin with, non-scientific, though leading by natural, simple process to the proper scientific words.... The author writes in a free, bright and fascinating style.... One can imagine himself to be sitting on a hair-cloth seat, slipping gracefully from one thought to another.” _Meguntic News._

“This fascinating volume.” _Dundee Dud._

“I wish in 6-point type to cheer a Book upon the Hair-Cloth Era.”
_F. B. A. in the New York Whirl._

HOW TO USE THE POLISHING RAG

Containing 20 full-page Illustrations from Photo-micrographs, and many Line-Drawings in the Text.

_Large crown 8vo., bound in cloth which may be detached and used
as polishing-rag or shew-cloth_

=By Post, 1/9= =PRICE 1/6 NET= =By Post, 1/9=

_Some Press Opinions_

“There are several cheap books on the polishing rag before the public, but we do not know a better than the one now under consideration.” _Boston Transcript._

“This is a rotten book. It is reactionary throughout. Somebody ought to shoot the author.” _The New Republic._

“Elaborate explanations are carefully avoided, except in the recipes for furniture polish. The reader who patiently works through these different recipes, especially the one on how to make sherry-flavored polish out of scored prunes, will have an accurate and worth-while knowledge of the possibilities of furniture polishing.” _The Police Gazette._

CROSSING THE ANTIQUE DEALER

BY M. SPICKERING QUEEK

Containing 8 full-page dress-patterns for concealed pockets, and 50 smaller designs for home-made brass-knuckles, tear-gas and slung-shots.

_Large square crown 8vo., gilt top_

=By Post, 5/4= =PRICE 5/- NET= =By Post, 5/4=

These stories of outwitting the antique-dealer in city, village and country will be read with much zest by all lovers of the antique. They are brightly written, and are the outcome of long experience at picking up rare autographed books that could not be acquired by purchase, and at outwitting the antique-dealer at his own game. We sympathize with the antique-hunter when the wicked dealer attempts to charge him seventeen dollars for a Benjamin Franklin cup-plate needed to round out his collection, and we rejoice when the hunter slips out in full view of the dealer, leaving his monocle on the counter and using the cup-plate as his monocle. There are equally stirring stories of Sheraton high-boys, an old Colonial cradle, a 36-year-old bottle of Glenlivet whiskey, and an original box of Haskell golf balls with seal unbroken.

_Some Press Opinions_

“Stories of an unusual antique-sense, showing much close observation and practical knowledge, as well as a bright and pleasant fancy.” _Plumbers’ Guide._

“The author artfully combines instruction with advanced and forward-looking ideals.” _The Nation._

“A refreshing book, after the wishy-washy, goody-goody trash with which preceding generations have been led astray.” _The Dial._

“I am pleased with this book. I have read it entirely through once, and I am thinking of reading it again. I think it would stand four or five readings. It is written in the style that I approve. I shall mention it to all my friends, and I hope that all my friends will mention it.” _Hendrik Van Lunkhead in the Biltmore Bun._

TALKS ABOUT TABLE-LEGS

BY FRANK FLUSH, B.S., F.A.S.

Containing 36 illustrations of legs, 16 of which are full-page in color.

_Small square demy 8vo., cloth, gilt top_

=PRICE 6/-=

_Some Press Opinions_

“It is written in a most interesting style; and under Mr. Flush’s deft touch, the table-legs seem endowed with almost feminine qualities.” _D. H. Lawrence in the N.Y. Times._

“A fascinating introduction to the study of wooden legs.”
_Cabinetmakers’ Review._

“Mr. Flush has done for table-legs what some of the younger school of American writers, notably F. Scott Fitzgerald, has done for flappers—made them seem almost human.” _Tacoma Trade Gazette._

AUTOGRAPHS AND ANTIMACASSARS

BY C. VON WHISTELBERRY

Containing 55 illustrations, 31 of which are colored reproductions of unusual autographs.

_Crown 4to., canvas boards, with Picture in Color on the Cover_

=PRICE 1/6=

_Some Press Opinions_

“This would make a charming and welcome gift for children who are just old enough to learn about and be interested in forging and other autograph features.” _Sunday School Times._

“In simple and yet glowing words the author introduces us to ‘Autographs and Antimacassars,’ and the glamour of the pictures is sustained as we read about them.” _Peanut Growers’ Monthly._

“A mine of information for the antimacassar enthusiast.”
_Rome (Italy) Avanti._

PEEPS AT PRECIOUS DISCARDS

EDITED BY THE REV. CHARLES A. DOOLITTLE, F.R.A.C.S.

Each containing 16 full-page illustrations, 8 of which are in color.

_Large crown, 8vo., cloth, with Pictures in color on the cover_

=Post free, 1/9= =PRICE 1/6 NET PER VOLUME= =Post free, 1/9=

_List of Volumes_

POCKET FLASKS OF THE LONG AGO
BY THE REV. CHARLES A. DOOLITTLE, F.R.A.C.S.

PULSE-WARMERS OF MANY LANDS
BY W. PERCIVAL WISHBACK, F.S.S.

WHERE TO HUNT FOR DOOR-KNOCKERS
BY A. NICOL DUNDREARY, F.R.D.K.S.

CHIGNONS AND HAIR-NETS OF OLD NEW ENGLAND
BY DANIEL FILLWIDDLE, M.A.

1000 USES FOR FIRE-BUCKETS
BY A. M. SLIPOVER

ROMANCE OF A PEWTER-HOUND
BY THE REV. CHARLES A. DOOLITTLE, F.R.A.C.S.

THE BACK-YARD ANTIQUE-COLLECTOR
BY RICHARD SCRIMM, F.R.I.P., Superintendent of the Lemon River Park
and Playground Associates

THE ART OF SIGN-PAINTING AND SIGN COLLECTING
BY A. NICOL DUNDREARY, F.R.D.K.S.

PILL ADVERTISEMENTS
BY THE REV. CHARLES A. DOOLITTLE, F.R.A.C.S.

COMMON BRITISH COMMODES
BY A. M. SLIPOVER

UNCOMMON BRITISH BATH-TUBS
BY THE REV. CHARLES A. DOOLITTLE, F.R.A.C.S.

HOW TO GET PRESENTATION COPIES FOR NOTHING
BY THE REV. JAMES HOOKLEBERRY, F.R.A.C.S.

SIGN STEALERS’ MANUAL FOR THE
COLLEGE MAN

BY CONSTANCE MAY TURNSPIT

Containing 32 full-page illustrations from Photographs, a frontispiece in color of a fascinating beer-advertisement, and a list of professional bail-furnishers in the leading American and Continental cities.

_Small square demy 8vo., cloth, gilt top_

=By Post, 5/4= =PRICE 5/- NET= =By Post, 5/4=

_Some Press Opinions_

“This handsome book, with its innumerable illustrations, will be of the greatest interest to the progressive college man with an eye for interior decoration. We congratulate the authoress on the pleasing and learned way in which she discourses on the technicalities of removing signs from their fastenings. She has evidently studied minutely the methods of our leading second-story workers.” _Sing-Sing Occupant._

“A very taking book.” _Manchester Guardian._

“A valuable and handsome souvenir for those bound Up the River.”
_New York Call._

THE WHATNOT
AND HOW TO DECORATE IT

BY AGNES ACONITE

Containing 8 full-page illustrations by Patten Hairback.

_Small square demy 8vo., cloth, gilt top_

=By Post, 5/4= =PRICE 5/- NET= =By Post, 5/4=

_Some Press Opinions_

“One of the most fascinating of interior decorations, the potentialities of the Whatnot are so little known to the majority of people that this story of its possibilities is of the greatest interest.” _Congressional Record._

“In Miss Aconite’s book the Whatnot is drawn so vividly that the reader seems to see it covered with actual seashells, cut glass and cabinet photographs, and follows its career with interest right to its tragic close, when it is broken up to provide fuel during a coal strike.” _Herrin (Ill.) Garroter._

“Miss Aconite knows the Whatnot as it is in its haunts, and she presents it with such remarkable clearness and insight that you long to throw a rock at it.” _Moscow Izvestia._

—————————————————— End of Book ——————————————————

Transcriber’s Note (continued)

Errors in punctuation and simple typos have been corrected without note. Variations in spelling, hyphenation, accents, etc., have been left as they appear in the original publication unless as stated in the following:

Page 6 – “solecism ending” changed to “solecism of ending” (solecism
of ending a sentence prepositionally)

Page 56 – “Bastile” changed to “Bastille” (fall of the Bastille)

Page 90 – “painting” changed to “paintings” (paintings of anæmic
bunches of flowers)

Page 144 – “Brentôme” changed to “Brantôme” (Brantôme, Rabelais,
and Casanova)

————

Footnotes are placed immediately below the paragraph in which the reference to that footnote appears.