Chapter I: Front Matter

The Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage

Describing Modern Manners and Customs of Courtship and Marriage, and giving Full Details regarding the Wedding Ceremony and Arrangements

By G.R.M. Devereux Author of "Etiquette for Women," etc, etc.

First published January 1903

This etext prepared from the reprint of March 1919 published by C. Arthur Pearson Ltd., Henrietta Street London and printed by Neill and Co. Ltd., Edinburgh.

LIST OF CONTENTS

PAGE

INTRODUCTORY REMARKS 13

CHAPTER I THE BEGINNINGS OF COURTSHIP--FAVOURABLE OPPORTUNITIES--INTELLECTUAL AFFINITY--ARTISTIC FELLOWSHIP--ATHLETIC COMRADESHIP--AMATEUR ACTING--SOCIAL INTERCOURSE--DIFFERENT IDEAS OF ETIQUETTE 16

CHAPTER II INTRODUCTIONS--RECOGNITION OF AFFINITY, OR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT--HOW TO FOLLOW UP AN ACQUAINTANCE--KINDLY OFFICES OF RELATIONS AND FRIENDS 21

CHAPTER III INTERCOURSE BETWEEN UNCONFESSED LOVERS--THE QUESTION OF PRESENTS--EXCHANGE OF HOSPITALITY--THE MAN WHO LIVES AT HOME--THE MAN IN ROOMS 25

CHAPTER IV INTERCOURSE WITH (1) THE HOME GIRL; (2) THE BACHELOR GIRL; (3) THE BUSINESS GIRL; (4) THE STUDENT OR PROFESSIONAL GIRL--FRIENDS WHO BECOME LOVERS 30

CHAPTER V FLIRTS, MALE AND FEMALE--HE CHANGES HIS MIND ON THE VERGE OF A PROPOSAL--HOW SHE ACCEPTS THE SITUATION--HOW SHE MAY GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT OR WARD OFF AN UNWELCOME OFFER 36

CHAPTER VI THE QUESTION OF AGE--YOUNG LOVERS--YOUNG MEN WHO WOO MATURITY--OLD MEN WHO COURT YOUTH--MIDDLE-AGED LOVERS 41

CHAPTER VII PROPOSALS: PREMEDITATED, SPONTANEOUS, PRACTICAL, OR ROMANTIC--NO RULE POSSIBLE--TACT WANTED IN CHOICE OF OPPORTUNITY--UNSEEMLY HASTE AN INSULT TO A WOMAN--KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR DANGEROUS TO SENTIMENT--SOME THINGS TO AVOID--VAGUELY WORDED OFFERS--WHEN SHE MAY TAKE THE INITIATIVE 46

CHAPTER VIII ENGAGEMENTS--THE ATTITUDE OF PARENTS AND GUARDIANS--MAKING IT KNOWN IN THE FAMILY, TO OUTSIDE FRIENDS--CONGRATULATIONS--THE CHOICE AND GIVING OF THE RING--MAKING ACQUAINTANCE WITH FUTURE RELATIONS-IN-LAW, PERSONALLY OR BY LETTER 51

CHAPTER IX HIS VISITS TO HER HOME--THE ENGAGED COUPLE IN PUBLIC--IN SOCIETY--VISITING AT THE SAME HOUSE---GOING ABOUT TOGETHER, ETC.--THE QUESTION OF EXPENSES 56

CHAPTER X LOVE-LETTERS--LONG OR SHORT ENGAGEMENTS--BROKEN ENGAGEMENTS--CLANDESTINE ENGAGEMENTS--JUSTIFIABLE IN CERTAIN CASES--WHERE THE MOTHER SHARES THE SECRET--FRIENDS WHO ACT AS GO-BETWEEN 60

CHAPTER XI FOREIGN ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENTS--BETROTHAL MUCH MORE SERIOUS THAN IN ENGLAND 65

CHAPTER XII MARRIAGE--FIXING THE DAY--PREPARATIONS--SELECTING THE BRIDESMAIDS AND THEIR DRESSES--BUYING THE WEDDING-GOWN--THE TROUSSEAU--INVITATIONS 71

CHAPTER XIII WEDDING PRESENTS--CHOOSING AND FURNISHING THE HOUSE--WHAT THE BRIDEGROOM SUPPLIES--THE BRIDE'S SHARE IN THE MATTER 77

CHAPTER XIV THE NATURE OF THE CEREMONY, RELIGIOUS OR CIVIL--BANNS OR LICENSE--LEGAL FORMALITIES--SETTLEMENTS, ETC. 81

CHAPTER XV THE WEDDING-DAY--WHAT IS EXPECTED OF (1) THE BRIDE; (2) THE BRIDESMAIDS; (3) THE BRIDEGROOM; (4) THE BEST MAN; (5) THE BRIDE'S PARENTS--AT THE BRIDE'S HOUSE--DRESSING--STARTING FOR THE CHURCH--THE TYING OF THE KNOT--SOCIAL ASPECT--RECEPTION OR BREAKFAST 86

CHAPTER XVI THE GUESTS--THE WEDDING PRESENTS ON VIEW--STARTING FOR THE HONEYMOON--DRESS AND LUGGAGE--WHERE TO GO AND HOW LONG TO STAY--INEVITABLE TEST OF TEMPERAMENT--POSSIBLE DISAPPOINTMENTS AND DISILLUSION, PASSING OR PERMANENT 92

CHAPTER XVII THE RETURN HOME--A PLUNGE INTO THE PRACTICAL--HOUSEKEEPING--WEDDING CALLS--THE NEWLY-MARRIED COUPLE AT HOME AND IN SOCIETY 97

CHAPTER XVIII MIXED MARRIAGES--DIFFERENCES OF COLOUR, NATIONALITY, AND RELIGION--SCOTCH MARRIAGES--MARRIAGE OF MINORS AND WARDS IN CHANCERY 102

CHAPTER XIX FOREIGN ETIQUETTE OF MARRIAGE--VARIOUS CUSTOMS 107

CHAPTER XX RUNAWAY MATCHES--RE-MARRIAGE OF WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS--THE CHILDREN--THE HOME--DRESS--COMPARISONS 113