Chapter I: FRY (14)

_St. Nicetas_, 4th Cent. _St. Nicomedes_, A. D. 90. _St. John_, the
Dwarf, 5th Cent. _St. Aicard_, or _Achart_, Abbot, A. D. 687. _St.
Aper_, or _Evre_, Bp. A. D. 486.

The weather on an average is, at least, six times out of seven fine on this day.[324]

It yet is not day;
The morning hath not lost her virgin blush,
Nor step, but mine, soiled the earth’s tinsel robe.
---- How full of heaven this solitude appears,
This healthful comfort of the happy swain;
Who from his hard but peaceful bed roused up,
In ’s morning exercise saluted is
By a full quire of feathered choristers,
Wedding their notes to the inamoured air.
Here Nature, in her unaffected dresse,
Plaited with vallies, and imbost with hills,
Enchast with silver streams, and fringed with woods,
Sits lovely in her native russet.

_Chamberlayne._

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Byzantine Saffron. _Colchicum Byzanticum._
Dedicated to _St. Nicetas_.

[324] Dr. Forster’s Peren. Calendar.

~September 16.~

_St. Cornelius_, Pope, A. D. 252. _St. Cyprian_, Abp. of Carthage, A.
D. 258. _St. Euphemia_, A. D. 307. _Sts. Lucia_ and _Geminianus._
_Sts. Ninian_, or _Ninyas_, Bp. A. D. 432. _St. Editha_, A. D. 984.

JEMMY GORDON.

This eccentric individual, who is recorded on the 23d of May, died in the workhouse of St. Leonard’s, at Cambridge, on the 16th of September, 1825. He had for many years been in the receipt of an annuity of five and twenty pounds bequeathed to him by Mr. Gordon, a deceased relative. Several confinements in the town gaol left Gordon at liberty to write memoirs of himself, which are in the possession of Mr. W. Mason, picture-dealer of Cambridge. He may amuse and essentially benefit society if he publish the manuscripts, accompanied by details drawn from personal recollections of the deceased biographer, with reflections on the misapplication of talent and the consequences of self-indulgence. It is an opportunity whereon to “point a moral, and adorn a tale.”

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Sea Starwort. _Aster Tripolum._
Dedicated to _St. Editha_.

~September 17.~

_St. Lambert_, Bp. A. D. 709. _St. Columba_, A. D. 853. _St.
Hildegardis_, Abbess, A. D. 1179. _St. Rouin_, or _Rodingus_, or
_Chrodingus_, A. D. 680. _Sts. Socrates_ and _Stephen_, Martyrs under
Dioclesian.

~Lambert.~

He is a saint in the Romish calendar; his name “Lambert” stands unsainted in the church of England calendar and almanacs: sometimes he is called Landebert. He was bishop of Maestricht from which see he was expelled in 673, and retired to the monastery of Stavelo, where he continued seven years, submitting to the rules of the novices. He was afterwards restored to his bishopric, and discharged its functions with zeal and success. But during the disorders which prevailed in the government of France, he was murdered on the 17th of September, 703, and in 1240, his festival was ordained to be kept on this day.[325]

* * * * *

THEATRICALS.

This is about the season when the summer theatres close, and the winter theatres open. Most of the productions written, and represented of late years, seem symptomatic of decay in dramatic and histrionic talent. The false taste of some of the vocal performers, is laughed at in a light piece called “Der Freischütz Travestie: by Septimus Globus, Esq.” One of its versifications is in a “SCENE--UNSEEN.” According to the author,--

A SONG--SINGS ITSELF.

TUNE.--_Galloping Dreary Dun._

Fine singers we have, both woman and man,
Gallop O! fly away! jump!
They all bravura, as fast as they can,
They mock Catalani,
Up long laney,
Bawling,
Squalling,
Galloping all away! drag and tail,--die away--plump!

They come on the stage, so fine and so gay,
Gallop O! fly away! jump!
They mount in the air, and they ride away,
They mock Catalani, &c.

They canter one off, all into the dark,
Gallop O! fly away! jump!
The Jack-bottom sings, instead of the lark,
They mock Catalani, &c.

They let off a trill, and it asks the way,
Gallop O! fly away! jump!
They quiver and shake--oh! I bid you good day,
They mock Catalani, &c.

Such singing I guess, does nobody good,
Gallop O! fly away! jump!
Notes wander about, like the babes in the wood,
They mock Catalani, &c.

I sing by myself, but pray take a peep,
Gallop O! fly away! jump!
You’ll soon find singers, to sing you to sleep,
They mock Catalani, &c.
[_Exit Song._

From the same piece there may be another “seasonable” extract, for we are at that period of the year when the chase, which was once a necessary pursuit, is indulged as an amusement. In Von Weber’s “Der Freischütz,” the casting of the fifth bullet by Caspar is accompanied by “a wild chase in the clouds;” the writer who travestied that opera, as it was represented at the Lyceum theatre, represents this operation to be thus accompanied:--

_Neighing and barking_ ‘old clothes!’--_Skylarking_--_A wild chase in
the clouds_; an ‘Etherial Race--inhabitants of air,’ consisting of
skeleton dogs muzzled, skeleton horses, and skeleton horsemen, _with
overalls and preservers, and_ MR. GREEN from the city, are _in pursuit
of a skeleton stag_ ‘to Bachelor’s-hall,’ _with_ grave _music
accompanying the following_--

SONG AND CHORUS. BY SKELETON HUNTSMEN.

“_Bright Chanticleer proclaims the dawn._”

The moon’s eclipse proclaims our hunt,
The graves release their dead,
The common man lifts up the wood,
The lord springs from the lead;
The lady-corpses hurry on,
To join the ghostly crowds,
And off we go, with a ho! so--ho!
A--hunting in the clouds.
With a hey, ho, chivey!
Hark forward, hark forward, tantivy!
&c.

No hill, no dale, no glen, no mire,
No dew, no night, no storm,
No earth, no water, air, nor fire,
Can do wild huntsmen harm.
We laugh at what the living dread,
And throw aside our shrouds,
And off we go, with a ho! so--ho!
A--hunting in the clouds.
With a hey, ho, chivey!
Hark forward, hark forward, tantivy,
&c.

Oft, when by body-snatchers stol’n,
And surgeons for us wait,
Some honest watchmen take the rogues
To be examined straight,
We slip away from surgeons, and
From police-office crowds,
And off we go, with a ho! so--ho!
A--hunting in the clouds.
With a hey, ho, chivey!
Hark forward, hark forward, tantivy!
&c.

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Narrow-leaved Mallow. _Malva augustiflora._
Dedicated to _St. Lambert_.

[325] Audley’s Comp. to the Almanac.

~September 18.~

_St. Thomas_, Abp. of Valentia, A. D. 1555. _St. Methodius_, Bp. of
Tyre, A. D. 311. _St. Ferreol_, A. D. 304. _St. Joseph_, of Cupertino,
A. D. 1663.

_St. Ferreol._

He was “a tribune or colonel,” Butler says, at Vienne in France, and imprisoned on suspicion of being a christian, which he verified by refusing to sacrifice according to the religion of the country, whereupon being scourged and laid in a dungeon, on the third day his chains fell off his hands and legs, and he swam over the Rhone. It appears that the miraculous chain-falling was ineffectual, for he was discovered and beheaded near the river.

* * * * *

The anniversary of this saint and martyr is celebrated at Marseilles with great pomp. The houses are decorated with streamers to the very tops; and the public way is crossed by cords, on which are suspended numberless flags of various colours. The ships are always ornamented with flags and streamers. The procession passes under several arches, hung with boughs, before it stops at the altars or resting-places, which are covered with flowers: every thing concurs to give to this solemnity an air of cheerfulness. The eye dwells with pleasure on the garlands of beautiful flowers, the green boughs, and the emblem of the divinity contained in the flags of the procession. The attendants are extremely numerous; every gardener carries his wax taper, ornamented with the most rare and beautiful flowers; he has also the vegetables and fruits with which heaven had blessed his labour, and sometimes he bears some nests of birds.

The _butchers_ also make a part of this procession, clothed in long tunics, and with a hat _à la Henri IV_. armed with a hatchet or cleaver; they lead a fat ox dressed with garlands and ribands, and with gilt horns, like the ox at the carnival: his back is covered with a carpet, on which sits a pretty child, dressed as St. John the Baptist. During the whole week which precedes the festival, the butchers lead about this animal: they first take him to the police, where they pay a duty, and then their collection begins, which is very productive: every one wishes to have the animal in his house; and it is a prevailing superstition among the people, that they shall have good luck throughout the year if this beast leave any trace of his visit, however dirty it may be. The ox is killed on the day after the festival. The child generally lives but a short time: exhausted by the fatigue which he has suffered, and by the caresses which he has received, and sickened by the sweetmeats with which he has been crammed, he languishes, and often falls a victim.

A number of young girls, clothed in white, their heads covered with veils, adorned with flowers, and girded with ribands of a uniform colour are next in the procession. Children, habited in different manners, recall the ancient “mysteries.” Several young women are dressed as nuns; these are St. Ursula, St. Rosalia, St. Agnes, St. Teresa, &c. The handsomest are clothed as Magdalens; with their hair dishevelled on their lovely faces, they look with an air of contrition on a crucifix which they hold in the hand: others appear in the habit of the _Sœurs de la Charité_, whose whole time is devoted to the service of the sick. Young boys fill other parts, such as angels, abbots, monks; among whom may be distinguished St. Francis, St. Bruno, St. Anthony, &c. In the midst of the shepherds marches the little St. John, but half covered with a sheep’s skin, like the picture of his precursor; he leads a lamb decked with ribands, a symbol of the saviour who offered himself for us, and died for the remission of our sins. The streets are strewed with flowers; numerous choristers carry baskets full of roses and yellow broom, which they throw, on a given signal, before the host or holy sacrament: they strew some of these on the ladies who sit in rows to see the procession; these also have baskets of flowers on their knees, which they offer to the host; they amuse themselves with covering the young virgins and little saints with the flowers. The sweet scents of the roses, the cassia, the jessamine, the orange, and the tuberose, mingled with the odour of the incense, almost overpower the senses. The procession proceeds to the port, and it is there that the ceremony presents a sublime character: the people fill the quays; all the decks are manned with seamen, dressed in their best blue jackets, their heads uncovered, and their red caps in their hands. All bend the knee to the God of the Universe: the seamen stretch out their hands towards the prelate, who, placed under a canopy, gives the benediction: the most profound silence reigns among this immense crowd. The benediction received, every one rises instantaneously; the bells begin to ring, the music plays, and the whole train takes the road to the temple from which they came.[326]

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Pendulous Starwort. _Aster pendulus._
Dedicated to _St. Thomas_, of Villanova.

[326] Times Telescope, 1819; from Coxe’s Gentleman’s Guide through
France.

~September 19.~

_St. Januarius_, Bp. of Benevento, A. D. 305. _St. Theodore_, Abp. of
Canterbury, A. D. 690. _Sts. Peleus_, _Pa-Termuthes_, and Companions.
_St. Lucy_ A. D. 1090. _St. Eustochius_, Bp. A. D. 461. _St.
Sequanus_, or _Seine_, Abbot, A. D. 580.

STOURBRIDGE FAIR

This place, near Cambridge, is also called Sturbridge, Sturbitch, and Stirbitch. A Cambridge newspaper speaks of _Stirbitch_ fair being proclaimed on the 19th of September, 1825, for a fortnight, and of _Stirbitch_ horse-fair commencing on the 26th of the month. The corruption of this proper name, stamps the persons who use it in its vulgar acceptation as being ignorant as the ignorant; the better instructed should cease from shamefully acquiescing in the long continued disturbance of this appellation.

Stephen Batman, in his “Doome warning,” published in 1582, relates that “Fishers toke a disfigured divell, in a certain _stoure_, (which is a mighty gathering togither of waters, from some narrow lake of the sea,) a horrible monster with a goats heade, and eyes shyning lyke fyre, whereuppon they were all afrayde and ranne awaye; and that ghoste plunged himselfe under the ise, and running uppe and downe in the _stowre_ made a terrible noyse and sound.” We get in _Stirbitch_ a most “disfigured divell” from Stourbridge. The good people derive their “good name” from their river.

* * * * *

Stourbridge fair originated in a grant from king John to the hospital of lepers at that place. By a charter in the 30th year of Henry VIII., the fair was granted to the magistrates and corporation of Cambridge. The vicechancellor of the university has the same power in it that he has in the town of Cambridge.

* * * * *

By an order of privy council of the 3rd of October, 1547, the mayor and under-sheriff of the county were required, not only to acknowledge before the vicechancellor, heads of colleges and proctors, that they had interfered with the privileges of the university in Stourbridge fair, but also, “that the mayor, in the common hall, shall openly, among his brethren, acknowledge his wilfull proceeding.” The breach consisted in John Fletcher, the mayor, having refused to receive into the tolbooth certain persons of “naughty and corrupt behaviour,” who were “prisoners, taken by the proctors of the university, in the last Sturbridge fair;” wherefore he was called before the lords and others of the council, and his fault therein “so plainly and justly opened” that he could not deny it, but did “sincerely and willingly confess his said fault.”[327]

* * * * *

In 1613, Stourbridge fair acquired such celebrity, that hackney-coaches attended it from London. Subsequently not less than sixty coaches plied at this fair, which was the largest in England. Vast quantities of butter and cheese found there a ready market; it stocked the people of Norfolk, Suffolk, Essex, and other counties with clothes, and all other necessaries; and shopkeepers supplied themselves from thence with the commodities wherein they dealt.[328]

* * * * *

Jacob Butler, Esq. who died on the 28th of May, 1765, stoutly maintained the charter of Stourbridge fair: he was of Bene’t-college, Cambridge, and a barrister-at-law. In stature he was six feet four inches high, of determined character, and deemed “a great eccentric” because, among other reasons, he usually invited the giants and dwarfs, who came for exhibition, to dine with him. He was so rigid in seeing the charter literally complied with, that if the ground was not cleared by one o’clock on the day appointed, and he found any of the booths standing, he had them pulled down, and the materials taken away. On one occasion when the wares were not removed by the time mentioned in the charter, he drove his carriage among the crockery and destroyed a great quantity.

The rev. John Butler, LL.D. rector of Wallington, in Hertfordshire, father of Mr. Butler, who was his eldest son, endeavoured in the year 1705, to get Stourbridge fair rated to the poor. This occasioned a partial and oppressive assessment on himself that involved him in great difficulties. Dr. Butler died in 1714, and Jacob Butler succeeded to his difficulties and estates in the parish of Barnwell. As a trustee under an act for the turnpike road from Cambridge to London, Mr. Butler was impeached of abuses in common with his co-trustees. Being obnoxious, he was singled out to make good the abuse, and summoned to the county sessions, where he appeared in his barrister’s gown, was convicted and fined ten pounds, which he refused to pay, and was committed. He excepted to the jurisdiction, wherein he was supported by the opinion of sir Joseph Yorke, then attorney-general, and to save an estreat applied to the under-sheriff, who refused his application, and afterwards went to the clerk of the peace at Newmarket, from whom he met the like treatment; this forced him to the quarter-sessions, where he obtained his discharge, after telling the chairman he felt it hard to be compelled to the trouble and expense of teaching him and his brethren law. He appears to have been a lawyer of that school, which admitted no law but the old common law of the land, and statute law. In 1754, “to stem the venality and corruption of the times, he offered himself a candidate to represent the county in parliament, unsupported by the influence of the great, the largess of the wealthy, or any interest, but that which his single character could establish in the esteem of all honest men and lovers of their country. But when he found the struggles for freedom faint and ineffectual, and his spirits too weak to resist the efforts of his enemies, he contented himself with the testimony of those few friends who dare to be free, and of his own unbiassed conscience, which, upon this, as well as every other occasion, voted in his favour; and upon these accounts he was justly entitled to the name of _the old Briton_.” He bore this appellation to the day of his death. The loss of a favourite dog is supposed to have accelerated his end; upon its being announced to him, he said, “I shall not live long now my dog is dead.” He shortly afterwards became ill, and, lingering about two months, died.

His coffin, which was made from a large oak by his express order, some months before his death, became an object of public curiosity; it was of sufficient dimensions to contain several persons, and wine was copiously quaffed therein by many of those who went to see it. To a person, who was one of the legatees, the singular trust was delegated of driving him to the grave, on the carriage of a waggon, divested of the body: seated in the front, he was to drive his two favourite horses, Brag and Dragon, to Barnwell church, and should they refuse to receive his body there, he was to return and bury him in the middle of the grass-plat in his own garden. Part only of his request was complied with, for the body being put into a leaden coffin, and the leaden one into a shell, was conveyed in a hearse, and the coffin made before his death was put upon the carriage of his waggon, and driven before the hearse by the gentleman above mentioned when arrived at the church door, it was taken from the carriage by four men, who received half-a-guinea each; it was then put into the vault, and the corpse being taken from the hearse was carried to the vault, there put into the coffin, and then screwed down.

The late rev. Michael Tyson of Bene’t-college, “a good antiquary and a gentleman artist,” amused himself with etching a few portraits; among them “were some of the old masters of his college, and some of the noted characters in and about Cambridge, as Jacob Butler of Barnwell, who called himself the _old Briton_,” which Mr. Nichols says “may be called his best, both in design and execution; for it expresses the very man himself.” A gentleman of the university has obligingly communicated to this work a fine impression of Mr. Tyson’s head of “the _old Briton_,” from whence the present portrait is engraven.

_Origin of Stourbridge Fair._

Mr. George Dyer, in a supplement to his recently published “Privileges of the University of Cambridge,” being a sequel to his “History of the University,” cites thus from Fuller:--

“Stourbridge fair is so called from Stour, a little rivulet (on both sides whereof it is kept,) on the east of Cambridge, whereof this original is reported. A clothier of Kendal, a town characterized to be _Lanificii gloria et industria præcellens_, casually wetting his cloath in water in his passage to London, exposed it there to sale, on cheap termes, as the worse for wetting, and yet it seems saved by the bargain. Next year he returned again with some other of his townsmen, proffering drier and dearer cloath to be sold. So that within a few years hither came a confluence of buyers, sellers, and lookers-on, which are the three principles of a fair. _In memoria_ thereof, Kendal men challenge some privilege in that place, annually choosing one of the town to be chief, before whom an antic sword was carried with some mirthful solemnities, disused of late, since these sad times, which put men’s minds into more serious employments.” This was about 1417.

* * * * *

The “History of Stourbridge Fair,” &c. a pamphlet published at Cambridge in 1806, supplies the particulars before the reader, respecting Jacob Butler and the fair, except in a few instances derived from authorities acknowledged in the notes. From thence also is as follows:--

Stourbridge fair was annually set out on St. Bartholomew’s day, by the aldermen and the rest of the corporation of Cambridge, who all rode there in grand procession, with music playing before them; and, when the ceremony was finished, used to ride races about the place; then returning to Cambridge, cakes and ale were given to the boys who attended them, at the Town-hall; but, we believe, this old custom is now laid aside. On the 7th of September they rode in the same manner to proclaim it; which being done, the fair then began, and continued three weeks, though the greatest part was over in a fortnight.

This fair, which was allowed, some years ago, to be the largest in Europe, is kept in a corn-field about half a mile square, the river Cam running on the north side, and the rivulet called the Stour, (from which, and the bridge which crosses it, the fair received its name,) on the east side; it is about two miles from Cambridge market-place, and where, during the time of the fair, coaches, &c. attend to convey persons to the fair. The chief diversions at the fair were drolls, rope-dancing, sometimes a music-booth, and plays performed; and though there is an act of parliament which prohibits the acting of plays within ten miles of Cambridge, the Norwich company have permission to perform there every night during the fair.

If the corn was not cleared off the field by the 24th of August, the builders were at liberty to tread it down to build their booths; and on the other hand, if the booths and materials were not cleared away by Michaelmas-day at noon, the ploughmen might enter the same with their horses, ploughs, and carts, and destroy whatever they found remaining on the ground after that time. The filth, straw, dung, &c. left by the fair-keepers, making the farmers amends for their trampling and hardening the ground. The shops, or booths, were built in rows like streets, having each their name; as Garlick-row, Booksellers’-row, Cook-row, &c. and every commodity had its proper place; as the cheese-fair, hop-fair, wool-fair, &c. In these streets, or rows, as well as in several others, were all kinds of tradesmen, who sell by wholesale or retail, as goldsmiths, toy-men, braziers, turners, milliners, haberdashers, hatters, mercers, drapers, pewterers, china warehouses, and, in short, most trades that could be found in London, from whence many of them came; there were also taverns, coffee-houses, and eating-houses in great plenty, all kept in booths, except six or seven brick-houses, in any of which (except the coffee-house booth,) you might be accommodated with hot or cold roast goose, roast or boiled pork, &c.

Crossing the road, at the south end of Garlick-row, on the left hand, was a square formed of the largest booths, called the _Duddery_, the area of which was from two hundred and forty to three hundred feet, chiefly taken up with woollen drapers, wholesale tailors, sellers of second-hand clothes, &c. where the dealers had a room before their booths to take down and open their packs, and bring in waggons to load and unload the same. In the centre of the square there formerly stood a high pole with a vane at the top. On two Sundays, during the principal time of the fair, morning and afternoon, divine service was performed, and a sermon preached by the minister of Barnwell, from a pulpit placed in this square, who was very well paid for the same, by a contribution made among the fair-keepers.

In this duddery only, it is said, that 100,000_l._ worth of woollen manufacture has been sold in less than a week, exclusive of the trade carried on here by the wholesale tailors from London, and other parts of England, who transacted their business wholly with their pocket-books, and meeting with their chapmen here from all parts of the country, make up their accounts, receive money, and take further orders. These, it is said, exceed the sale of goods actually brought to the fair, and delivered in kind; it was frequently known that the London wholesale-men have carried back orders from their dealers for 10,000_l._ worth of goods, and some a great deal more. Once, in this duddery, there was a booth consisting of six apartments, which contained goods worth 20,000_l._ belonging solely to a dealer in Norwich stuffs.

The trade for wool, hops, and leather, was prodigious; the quantity of wool only, which was sold at one fair, was said to amount to between 50 and 60,000_l._, and of hops to nearly the same sum.

The 14th of September was the horse-fair day, which was always the busiest day during the time of the fair, and the number of people, who came from all parts of the county on this day, was very great. Colchester oysters and fresh herrings were in great request, particularly by those who lived in the inland parts of the kingdom.

The fair was like a well-governed city, and less disorder or confusion were to be seen here than in any other place, where there was so great a concourse of people assembled. Here was a court of justice, open from morning till night, where the mayor, or his deputy, always attended to determine all controversies in matters arising from the business of the fair, and for keeping the peace; for which purpose he had eight servants to attend him, called _red-coats_, who were employed as constables, and if any dispute arose between buyer and seller, &c. upon calling out red-coat there was one of them immediately at hand; and if the dispute was not quickly decided, the offenders were taken to the said court, and the case determined in a summary way, (as was practised in those called pie-powder courts in other fairs,) and from which there was no appeal.

The greatest inconvenience attending the tradesmen at this fair, was the manner in which they were obliged to lodge in the night; their bed (if it may be so called,) was laid upon two or three boards nailed to four posts about a foot from the ground, and four boards fixed round it to keep them from falling out; in the day-time it was obliged to be removed from the booth, and laid in the open air, exposed to the weather; at night it was again taken in, and made up in the best manner they were able, and they laid almost neck and heels together, it being not more than five feet long. Very heavy rains, which fall about this season, would sometimes force through the hair-cloths, which were almost the only covering to the booths, and oblige them to get up again; and high winds have been known to blow down many of the booths, particularly in the year 1741.

CRUELTY TO ANIMALS.

Legislative discussion and interference have raised a feeling of kindness towards the brute creation which slumbered and slept in our forefathers. Formerly, the costermonger was accustomed to make wounds for the express purpose of producing torture. He prepared to drive an ass, that had not been driven, with his knife. On each side of the back bone, at the lower end, just above the tail, he made an incision of two or three inches in length through the skin, and beat into these incisions with his stick till they became open wounds, and so remained, while the ass lived to be driven to and from market, or through the streets of the metropolis. A costermonger, now, would shrink from this, which was a common practice between the years 1790 and 1800. The present itinerant venders of apples, and other fruit, abstain from wanton barbarity, while coachmen and carmen are punished for it under Mr. Martin’s act. This gentleman’s humanity, though sometimes eccentric, is ever active; and, when judiciously exercised, is approved by natural feelings, and supported by public opinion.

A correspondent has pleasantly thrown together some amusing citations respecting the ass. It is a rule with the editor of the _Every-Day Book_ not to alter communications, or he would have turned one expression, in the course of the subjoined paper, which seems to bear somewhat ludicrously upon the interference of the member for Galway, in behalf of that class of animals which have endured more persecution than any in existence, except, perhaps, our fellow human-beings, the Jews.

THE ASS.

(_For Hone’s Every-Day Book._)

Poorly as the world may think of the intellectual abilities of asses, there have been some very clever fellows among them. There have been periods when, far from his name being synonymous with stupidity, and his person made the subject of the derision, the contempt, and, what is worse, the scourge of the vulgar--(for that is “the unkindest _cut_ of all”)--he was “respected and beloved by all who had the pleasure of his acquaintance!” Leo Africanus asserts, that asses may be taught to dance to music, and it is surprising to see the accurate manner in which they will keep time. In this, at least, they must be far superior to us, poor human beings, if they can _keep time_, for “time stays for _no man_,” as the proverb says. Though their vocal powers do not equal those of a _Bra_-ham, yet we have had an undoubted proof of the sensitiveness of their ear to the sweets of harmony; Gay also tells us--

“The ass learnt metaphors and tropes,
But most on music fixed his hopes.”--

And merry Peter Pindar thus apostrophises his asinine namesake:--

“What tho’ I’ve heard some voices sweeter;
Yet exquisite thy hearing, gentle Peter!
Whether a judge of music, I don’t know--
If so--
Thou hast th’ advantage got of many a score
That enter at the open door.”----

What an unfounded calumny then must it have been on the part of the Romans, to declare these “Roussins d’Arcadie” (as La Fontaine calls them) so deficient in their aural faculties, that “to talk to a deaf ass” was proverbial for “to labour in vain!”--Perhaps it was under the same delusion that, as Goldsmith says,--

“John Trott was desired by two witty peers,
To tell them the reason why asses had ears.”

John owns his ignorance of the subject, and facetiously exclaims--

“Howe’er, from this time, I shall ne’er see your graces,
As I hope to be saved! without thinking on asses!”

Which joke, by the bye, the author of “Waverley” has deigned to make free with, and thrust into the mouth of a thick-headed fellow, in the fourth volume of the “Crusaders.”

Gesner says he saw one leap through a hoop, and, at the word of command, lie down just as if he were dead.

Mahomet had an excellent creature, half ass and half mule: for if we may take his word for it, the beast carried him from Mecca to Jerusalem in the twinkling of an eye in one step!--“It is only the _first step_ which is difficult,” says the French proverb, and here it is undoubtedly right.

Sterne gives us a most affecting account of one which had the misfortune to die. “The ass,” the old owner told him, “he was assured loved him. They had been separated three days, during which time the ass had sought him as much as he had sought the ass: and they had scarce either eat or drank till they met.” This certainly could not have assisted much to improve the health of the donkey. I cannot better conclude my evidence of his shrewdness and capacity than with an anecdote which many authors combine in declaring:--

“De la peau du lion _l’âne_ s’étant vêtu
Etoit craint partout à la ronde:
Et bien qu’animal sans vertu
Il faisoit trembler tout le monde.
Un petit bout d’oreille, echappé par malheur,
Decouvrit la fourbe et l’erreur.
_Martin_ fit alors son office,” &c.

_La Fontaine._

It is curious to see the same taste and the same peculiarities attached to the same family. As long as the ass was thought to be a lion, he was suffered to go on,--but when he is discovered to be an _ass_, forth steps Mr. _Martin_--then the task is his!

Now for the estimation in which they were held.

Shakspeare makes the fairy queen, the lovely Titania, fall in love with a gentleman who sported an ass’s head:--

“Methought I was enamour’d of an ass,”

said the lady waking--and she thought right, if love be

“All made of fantasy,
All adoration, duty, and observance.”

At Rouen, they idolized a donkey in the most ludicrous manner, by dressing him up very gaily in the church, dancing round him, and singing, “eh! eh! eh! father ass! eh! eh! eh! father ass!” which, however flattering to him, was really no compliment to themselves.

The ass on which Silenus rode, when he did good service to Jove, and the other divinities, was transported up into the celestial regions. Apion affirms, that when Antiochus spoiled the temple at Jerusalem a golden ass’s head was found, which the Jews used to worship.--To this Josephus replies with just indignation, and argues how could they adore the image of that, which, “when it does not perform what we impose upon it, we beat with a great many stripes!” Poor beasts! they must be getting used to hard usage by this time! The wild ass was a very favourite creature for hunting, as we learn from Martial (13 Lib. 100 Ep.); and Virgil sings--

“Sæpè etiam cursu timidos agitabis onagros.”

Its flesh was esteemed a dainty. Xenophon, in the first book of the “Anabasis,” compares it to venison; and Bingley says, it is eaten to this day by the Tartars: but what is more curious, Mæcenas, who was a sensible man in other respects, preferred, according to Pliny, the meat of the foal of the tame donkey! “de gustibus non disputandum” indeed! With its milk Poppœa composed a sort of paste with which she bedaubed her face, for the purpose of making it fair: as we are told by Pliny (Lib. 11. 41) and Juvenal (Sat. 2. 107): and in their unadulterated milk she used frequently to bathe for the same purpose (Dio. 62. 28.):

“Propter quod secum comites educit _asellas_
Exul Hyperboreum si dimittatur ad axem.”

_Juv._ 6. 468.

And in both respects she was imitated by many of the Roman ladies. Of its efficacy to persons of delicate habits there can be no doubt, and Dr. Wolcott only called it in question (when recommended by Dr. Geach,) for the purpose of making the following excellent epigram:--

“And, doctor, do you really think
That ass’s milk I ought to drink?
’Twould quite remove my cough, you say,
And drive my old complaints away.--
It cured yourself--I grant it true--
But then--’twas _mother’s milk_ to _you_?”

And lastly, even when dead, his utility is not ended; for, as we read in Plutarch (Vita Cleomenis) the philosopher affirmed, that “from the dead bodies of asses, _beetles_ were produced!”

TIM TIMS.

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Devil’s Bit Scabious. _Scabiosa Succisa._
Dedicated to _St. Lucy_.

[327] Mr. Dyer’s Privileges of Cambridge, vol. i. p. 111.

[328] Dr. N. Drake’s Shakspeare and his Times.

~September 20.~

_Sts. Eustachius_ and Companions. _St. Agapetus_, Pope, A. D. 536.

CHRONOLOGY.

On the 20th of September, 1753, the foundation stone of the new exchange at Edinburgh was laid by George Drummond, Esq. grand master of the society of freemasons in Scotland. The procession was very grand and regular: each lodge of masons, of which there were twelve or thirteen, walked in procession by themselves, all uncovered, amounting to six hundred and seventy-two, most of whom were operative masons. The military paid proper honours to the company, and escorted the procession. The grand master, supported by a former grand master and the present substitute, was joined in the procession by the lord provost, magistrates, and council, in their robes, with the city sword, mace, &c. carried before them, accompanied with the directors of the scheme, &c. The foundation stone, bearing the Latin inscription, lay all that day on the pavement, to be viewed by the populace.

The freemasons, having caused a magnificent triumphal arch in the true Augustine style to be erected at the entry of the place where the stone was laid, they passed through it, and the magistrates went to a theatre erected for them, covered with tapestry, and decked with flowers, on the west of the place where the stone was to be laid; and directly opposite, to the east, another theatre was erected for the grand master and officers of the grand lodge, and being seated in a chair placed for him, the grand master soon after laid the stone; and put into it, in holes made for that purpose, two medals, one of them being inscribed--

“IN THE LORD IS ALL OUR TRUST.”

The grand master having applied the square the plumb, the level, the mallet, &c. to the stone, in order to fix the same in its proper position, gave it three knocks with the mallet, which were followed by three huzzas from the brethren: then the mason’s anthem, which was played by the music when the stone was first slung in the tackle, was again repeated, the brethren, &c. joining in the chorus, which being ended, a cornucopia, with two silver vessels, were handed to the grand master, filled with corn, wine, and oil; he, according to an ancient ceremony, poured them on the stone, saying,

“May the bountiful hand of heaven supply this city with abundance of corn, wine, oil, and all other necessaries of life.”

This being also succeeded by three huzzas, the anthem was again played; and when finished, the grand master repeated these words:

“May the grand architect of the universe, as we have now laid the foundation stone, of his kind providence enable us to carry on and finish what we have now begun; and may he be a guard to this place, and the city in general, and preserve it from decay and ruin to the latest posterity.”

Having closed the ceremony with a short prayer for the sovereign, the senate of the city, the fraternity of masons, and all the people, and the anthem having been again played, the grand master addressed himself to the lord provost and magistrates, &c. in a polite and learned manner, applauding their noble design, and praying that heaven would crown their endeavours, &c. with the desired success. He also made a speech to the undertakers, admonishing them to observe the instructions of the directors, &c. and to do their duty as artificers, for their own honour, credit, &c. Several medals struck on the occasion, were distributed by the grand master to the magistrates, &c.[329]

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Common Meadow Saffron. _Colchicum autumnale._
Dedicated to _St. Eustachius_.

[329] Gentleman’s Magazine.

~September 21.~

_St. Matthew_, Apostle and Evangelist. _St. Maura_, A. D. 850. _St.
Lo_, or _Laudus_, Bp. of Coutances, A. D. 568.

~St. Matthew.~

This is a festival in the church of England calendar, and in the almanacs.

Mr. Audley notices of Matthew, that he was also called Levi; that he was the son of Alpheus, a publican, or tax-gatherer, under the Romans; and that he is said to have preached the gospel in Ethiopia, and to have died a martyr there. Mr. A. inclines to think that he died a natural death. He says, it is generally, if not universally, agreed by the ancients, that Matthew wrote his gospel in Hebrew, but that several moderns think it was written in Greek, and that Matthew has more quotations from the Old Testament than any of the evangelists.

* * * * *

On this day the lord mayor, aldermen, sheriffs, and governors of the several royal hospitals in London, attend divine service, and hear a sermon preached at Christ church, Newgate-street; they then repair to the great hall in Christ’s hospital, where two orations are delivered, one in Latin, and the other in English, by the two senior scholars of the grammar-school; and afterwards partake of an elegant dinner.

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Cilcated Passion Flower. _Passiflora cilcata._
Dedicated to _St. Matthew_.

~September 22.~

_St. Maurice_, and his Companions, 4th Cent. _St. Emmeran_, Bp. of
Poitiers, A. D. 653.

“Now soften’d suns a mellow lustre shed,
The laden orchards glow with tempting red;
On hazel boughs the clusters hang embrown’d,
And with the sportsman’s war the new-shorn fields resound.”

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Tree Boletus. _Boletus arborens._
Dedicated to _St. Maurice_.

~September 23.~

_St. Linus_, Pope. _St. Thecla_, 1st Cent. _St. Adamnan_, Abbot, A. D.
705.

On the 23d of September, 1751, a man ran, driving a coach-wheel, from the Bishop’s-head in the Old Bailey, to the eleventh mile stone at Barnet, and back again, in three hours and fifty-one minutes, having four hours to do it in, for a wager of 50_l._[330]

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

White Starwort. _Aster dumotus._
Dedicated to _St. Thecla_.

[330] Gentleman’s Magazine.

~September 24.~

_St. Gerard_, Bp. of Chonad, A. D. 1046. _St. Germer_, or _Geremar_,
Abbot, A. D. 658. _St. Rusticus_, or _St. Rotiri_, Bp. of Auvergne,
5th Cent. _St. Chuniald_, or _Conald_.

* * * * *

FLORAL DIRECTORY.

Dung Fungus. _Agaricus fimetarius._
Dedicated to _St. Gerard_.

~September 25.~

_S. Ceolfrid_, Abbot, A. D. 716. _St. Barr_, or _Finbarr_, first Bp.
of Cork, 6th Cent. _St. Firmin_, Bp. of Amiens, 3d Cent. _St.
Aunaire_, Bp. of Auxerre, A. D. 605.

_Gymnastics._

A late distinguished senator said in parliament, “man is born to _labour_ as the sparks fly upwards.” This observation is founded on a thorough knowledge of the destiny from which none can escape. The idle are always unhappy, nor can even mental vigour be preserved without bodily exercise. Neither he who has attained to inordinate wealth, nor he who has reached the greatest heights of human intellect is exempt from the decree, that every man must “_work_ for his living.” If the “gentleman” does not work to maintain his family, he must work to maintain his life; hence he walks, rides, hunts, shoots, and travels, and occupies his limbs as well as his mind; hence noblemen amuse themselves at the turning lathe, and the workman’s bench, or become mail coachmen, or “cutter-lads:” and hence sovereigns sometimes “play at being workmen,” or, what is worse, at the “game” of war.

Without exercise the body becomes enfeebled, and the mind loses its tension. Corporeal inactivity cannot be persisted in even with the aid of medicine, without symptoms of an asthenic state. From this deliquium the patient must be relieved in spite of his perverseness, or he becomes a maniac or a corpse. Partial remedies render him “a nervous man;” his only effectual relief is bodily exercise.

Exercise in the open air is indispensable, and many who walk in the wide and rapidly extending wilderness of the metropolis have sufficient; but, to some, the exercise of walking is not enough for carrying on the business of life; while others, whose avocations are sedentary, scarcely come under the denomination of sesquipedalians. These resort to stretching out the arms, kicking, hopping, what _they_ call “jumping,” running up and down a pair of stairs, sparring, or playing with the dumb bells: these substitutes may assist, but, alone, they are inadequate to the preservation of health.

Some years ago a work on gymnastics, by Salzmann, was translated from the German into English. Its precepts were unaided by example; it produced a sensation, people talked about it at the time, and agreed that the bodily exercises it prescribed were good, but nobody took them, and gymnastics, though frequently thought upon, have not until lately been practised. In the first sheet of the _Every-Day Book_ public attention was called to this subject, and since them Mr. Voelker, a native of Germany, has opened a gymnasium at No. 1, Union-place, in the New-road, near the Regent’s-park; and another at Mr. Fontaine’s riding-school, Worship-street, Finsbury-square. The editor of this work has visited Mr. Voelker’s gymnasium in the New-road; and with a view to public benefit, and because they will operate a new feature in manners, he promulgates the information that such institutions are established.

Mr. Voelker’s prospectus of his establishment is judicious. He contends that while education has been exclusively directed to the developement of the mental faculties, the bodily powers have been entirely neglected. “The intimate connection between mind and body has not been sufficiently considered; for who does not know, from his own experience, that the mind uniformly participates in the condition of the body; that it is cheerful, when the body is strong and healthy; and depressed, when the body is languid and unhealthy?”

Mr. Voelker refers to Xenophon, and to the great promoters of education in modern times, namely, Locke, Rousseau, Campe, Basedow, Pestalozzi, and Fellenberg, as authorities for the use of gymnastics; but he says it was reserved for professor Jahn to be the restorer of this long-lost art. In 1810, he established a gymnasium at Berlin; and the number of his pupils, consisting of boys, youth, and men, soon increased to several thousands. His ardent zeal and indefatigable exertion, and his powerful and persuasive appeals to his pupils, had such an effect, that all vied with each other in endeavouring to render their bodies strong and active. But the rising of the German people, in 1813, suddenly changed the cheerful game into a serious combat. Professor Jahn, and such of his pupils as were capable of bearing arms, (many of these being but fourteen years of age,) joined the volunteers of Lutzen. But few lived to revisit the place, where they had prepared themselves for enduring the hardships of war. Most of these young heroes covered the fields of battle with their corpses from the gates of Berlin to the capital of their enemies. The exercises, however, were resumed at Berlin, and had spread through several other towns, when the campaign of 1815 caused a new, but short interruption.

“As a pupil of Jahn’s,” says Mr. Voelker, “I also had the honour of serving among the volunteers. The campaign being finished, I returned to my studies: and when I thought myself sufficiently qualified for the duties of a teacher, I commenced them in 1818. At first I established gymnastic exercises at the academy of Eisenach, and in the university of Tubingen. In these establishments, as in all others where similar exercises had been introduced by professor Jahn or his pupils, a new vigour was imparted to the scholars. Boys, youths, and men, soon found more pleasure in exercises which strengthened the powers of their body, than in pleasures which render it effeminate and weak. By the consciousness of increased vigour, the mind, too, was powerfully excited, and strove for equal perfection; and each of the pupils had always before his eyes, as the object of his exertions, _mens sana in corpore sano_. Even men indolent by nature were irresistibly carried away by the zeal of their comrades. Weakly and sick persons, too, recovered their health; and these exercises were, perhaps, the only effectual remedy that could have been found for their complaints. The judgment of physicians, in all places where these exercises were introduced, concurred in their favourable effect upon health; and parents and teachers uniformly testified, that by them their sons and pupils, like all other young men who cultivated them, had become more open and free, and more graceful in their deportment. Fortune led me to the celebrated establishment of M. Von Fellenberg; and this great philosopher, and at the same time practical educator, gave the high authority of his approbation to the gymnastic science. It would not become me to state how I have laboured in the academy of that gentleman; but the recommendations with which he and others have favoured me, and also the testimonials, for which I am indebted to them, sufficiently prove that I do not set too high a value upon the utility of this branch of education. After I had established this system of education there, I accepted an invitation as professor at the Canton school at Chur, which I received from the government of the Canton. My exertions there had the same result as in other establishments, as is fully shown by the testimonials of the government. The thanks which I received from so many of my pupils, the testimonials from the directors of those establishments in which I have taught, my own consciousness of not having worked in vain, and the invitations of some friends, emboldened me to come forward in England, also, with gymnastics, on the plan of professor Jahn, and animate me with the confidence that here, too, my endeavours will not be fruitless.”

* * * * *

The subscription to professor Voelker’s gymnasium in the New-road and at Worship-street is, for one month, 1_l._; for three months, 2_l._ 10_s._; for six months, 4_l._; for a twelvemonth, six guineas: or an association of twenty gentlemen may pay each 2_l._ for three, and 3_l._ for six months. Pupils from boarding-schools pay each 2_l._ for three, and 3_l._ for six months; but a number together pay each 1_l._ 10_s._ for three, 2_l._ 10_s._ for six, and 4_l._ for twelve months. Pupils not taking lessons with the other pupils, pay a guinea for every lesson. Twelve lessons may be had when convenient for 1_l._ 10_s._

_The Exercises._

I. The preliminary exercises serve principally to strengthen the arms and legs, and to increase their activity, to give the body a graceful carriage, to accustom it to labour, and thus prepare it for the other exercises.

II. Running for a length of time, and with celerity. If the pupil follows the prescribed rules, and is not deterred by a little fatigue in the first six lessons, he will soon be able to run three English miles in from twenty to twenty-five minutes. Some of Mr. V.’s pupils have been able to run for two hours incessantly, and without being much out of breath.

III. Leaping in distance and height, with and without a pole. Every pupil will soon convince himself to what degree the strength of the arms, the energy of the muscles of the feet, and good carriage of the body, are increased by leaping, particularly with a pole. Almost every one learns in a short time to leap his own height, and some of the pupils have been able to leap ten or eleven feet high. It is equally easy to learn to leap horizontally over a space three times the length of the body; even four times that length has been attained.

IV. Climbing up masts, ropes, and ladders. Every pupil will soon learn to climb up a mast, rope, or ladder of twenty-four feet high; and after six months’ exercise, even of thirty-four or thirty-six feet. The use of this exercise is very great in strengthening the arms.

V. The exercises on the pole and parallel bars, serve in particular to expand the chest, to strengthen the muscles of the breast and small of the back, and to make the latter flexible. In a short time, every pupil will be enabled to perform exercises of which he could not have thought himself capable, provided that he do not deviate from the prescribed course and rules.

VI. Vaulting, which is considered one of the principal exercises for the increase of strength, activity, good carriage of the body, and courage, which employs and improves the powers of almost all parts of the body, and has hitherto always been taught as an art by itself, is brought to some perfection in three months.

VII. Fencing with the broad sword, throwing lances, wrestling, and many other exercises.

All these exercises so differ from one another, that generally those parts of the body which are employed in one, rest in another. Every lesson occupies from one hour and a half to two hours, its length depending on the degree of labour required for the exercises practised in it.

* * * * *

In the New-road, lessons are given on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday, from six to eight o’clock, A. M., or on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, from six to eight o’clock, P. M. Young pupils are instructed every day from eight to nine o’clock, A. M.

At Worship-street, the lessons are given on Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, from seven to nine o’clock in the evening.

* * * * *