Chapter III: The Visit

One day as Cinderella ate
Her Simple Lunch of sixteen courses,
A Golden Coach drove up in state,
Drawn by a team of Mouse-Grey horses,
And on the carriage door were scrolled
The Letters F. G. M., in gold.

The Princess dropped a Jelly Roll,
Which tipped with Pink her Crystal Shoe,
And cried, “O my prophetic soul!
_My God_-mamma! What shall I do?”
Then, Ladylike, she cut the knot
By simply fainting on the spot.

Strong Fairy Salts soon brought her to.
She looked up in a startled way.
“Why, God-mamma--can that be you?
How sweet! I _hope_ you’ve come to stay.
The Prince will simply be enchanted.”
“Your Wish,” quoth God-mamma, “is granted.”

True to her word, the Fairy soon
Was quite at home. The royal Attic
She turned into a Grand Saloon,
Where with her cats she reigned ecstatic.
“Henceforth,” said she, “I’ll live at leisure,
And only work my Spells for pleasure.”

She had a Sense of Humor dry,
She loved her Little Joke--and tho’
None of her Tricks were prompted by
A spiteful heart or love of show,
To love one’s Joke does not, it’s true,
Imply that Others love it too.

She had a disconcerting way,
When Argument became a bore,
Of saying what she had to say
And disappearing through the Floor,
A joke that never failed to cause
A weird, if not side-splitting, Pause.

At meals, if there appeared a dish
God-mamma did not find appealing,
She’d wave her wand, and Fowl or Fish
Would promptly vanish thro’ the ceiling,
And in its place would be _Fried Mole_
Or _Crocodile en casserole_.

One day some Ladies of the Court
Performed a Play which bored her so,
She up and cried, “That’s not my sort!”
And changed it to a Ballet show.
A Tactless Joke, which caused, of course,
Much talk--and more than one Divorce.

But nothing gave her such delight,
Or keener Sense of Humor showed,
Than when the Prince came home at night;
She’d change his door-key to a Toad,
And laugh to see it hop about,
Or turn the Key-Hole inside out.

Once, weary of her Pesterings,
The Prince apostrophized a bird,
Exclaiming, “Would I too had wings!”
It chanced the Fairy overheard,
And, with the very best intentions,
Granted him wings of Large Dimensions.

Now wings (as any Naturalist
Will tell you) are but variations
Of arms, and cannot co-exist
With such-like Brachial Formations.
Accordingly, he lost his arms,
Which handicaps a Prince’s charms.

To his embarrassment and woe,
He had to be both dressed and fed
And brushed and bathed and put--but no,
That he was spared. His Wings when spread
Were Forty Feet from side to side;
Bed was a luxury denied.

He soon repented of his Whim.
With wings like windmill sails, of course,
No room was big enough for him.
So all night long, in Chill Remorse,
He perched upon the roof. At dawn
The spell was happily withdrawn.

About this time the Princess planned
A grand Subscription Ball, to aid
The Starving Shepherds of the land.
The Prince, when told the shepherds’ trade
Included Shepherdesses too,
Subscribed a Thumping I. O. U.

Upon the evening of the ball,
It chanced that God-mamma-in-law,
Flitting about the Palace Hall,
Passed by the Prince’s Suite, and saw
His gladsome Evening Robes outspread
In neat array upon the bed.

She eyed them sadly. Here in places
The silken pile was wearing thin;
And here were stains and here were traces
Of where the Moth had broken in.
“Aha! Aha! it’s plain to see
This is a little job for me!

“I’ll make him a new suit,” said she,
“A brave new suit without a flaw.
I’d like to know what Home would be
Without a God-mamma-in-law.”
And in its place upon the bed
A Fairy Substitute she spread.

All unobserved, she slipped away,
Delighted with her Little Game,
And, seeking some new trick to play,
To Cinderella’s closet came.
Where for her golden robe of state
She left a Fairy Duplicate.

Dressed for the ball, they drove in State,
Looking superlatively swell;
God-mamma pleaded _mal de tête_
And from her window waved farewell.
Her voice rose o’er the people’s cheers,
“_Be back at twelve o’clock my dears!_”