Chapter XXXVII: Letter VI

“The righteous shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands
shall wax stronger and stronger.”

To —

It is our mercy, the Holy Spirit, in the hearts of God’s children, is given to them to _abide_ with them. Never will _he_ leave his own to the power of sin or to satan. The Psalmist was blest with this confidence when he said—“The Lord will perfect that which concerned me; forsake not the work of thy hands; thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever.” This is explained by the apostle being confident of this very thing, that _he_ who hath begun the good work will perform it, until the day of Jesus Christ; and hence Solomon says—“I know that what God doeth is for ever, nothing shall be taken from it, or added to it; and he doeth it that men should fear before him.” This work, in the first operation, is _regeneration_, and its continuance is _sanctification_; its effect is _conversion_, and its renewing, after dead and dark seasons, is a _revival_. Many such I have experienced; which, to relate, would swell this memoir to a vast volume. There is one particular circumstance, among many, which I must here relate, although you are already in possession of the account in my little work, “The Voice of Faith in the Valley of Achor:”—

“After I had been in this furnace some weeks, in which I felt as
others do in similar cases, much grief, anger, rebellion, and
discontent, but not quite without a spirit of prayer that I might be
favored with the very gracious visits of the Saviour, and a sense of
God’s approbation in my own soul, though despised by others, I
entreated the Lord to shew me the exceeding sinfulness of sin, as
well as I could bear it; for I am convinced no man could ever behold
sin in all its malignity—none but the God-Man could bear that—yet I
desired to see sin as most abominable in God’s sight. These
petitions were in time answered; the Lord led me to reflect deeply,
in my retired moments, on the nature of sin, original and
actual.—This knowledge of it increased, till one evening, being
alone, I was most completely overpowered with a solemn stillness of
spirit, a view of sin, my own sins of heart, lip, and life; these
crowded into my mind. I felt guilty. I stood condemned. I had a
fearful apprehension of God’s just displeasure; all was dark within,
except sin and the anger of God—these were clear enough; horror
overwhelmed me, and I sunk low at the footstool of divine mercy; I
feared, I trembled, I was brought low, I was troubled. I saw nothing
of a Saviour, though I had so often preached about him. Head notions
were nothing now—past experience was hid, and every gracious promise
of the Bible was closed up for a time. What a state to be in! But I
believe this was drinking of the bitter cup our Saviour drank so
deeply; this was, in one sense, being crucified with Christ, and
having fellowship with him in his sufferings. These feelings will
give a man a real understanding of all those texts which refer to
soul trouble, in the book of Job, the Psalms of David, feelings of
Jeremiah, and, perhaps, what Paul felt during the three days he was
without sight, and did neither eat nor drink. These feelings will
make me sympathise with the soul that is afflicted, and experiences
the terrors of the Almighty.

But I do esteem it among my many special favors, this did not
continue but part of a night. I sunk down in shame and distress,
condemning myself, and acknowledging the justice of God in my
condemnation. But while in this state, thus broken, contrite, and
filled with holy awe, I was kept pleading for mercy—present mercy as
well as future. While on my knees prostrate, as Elijah on another
occasion, or, as Jeremiah words it—putting my mouth in the dust;—and
although I really was filled with fear lest I should be cut off, yet
at this very time the Lord gently led my mind, or rather brought the
following words very softly to my heart: they were at first seemingly
at a distance, but drew nearer as I listened and observed them. The
words were, ‘I have caused thine iniquities to pass from thee, and
have clothed thee with change of raiment.’ I observed my mind could
not gladly receive this sentence, fearing presumption—but they still
followed me, and abode with me, till the horror, terror, fears, and
darkness gradually dispersed, and my mind was enabled so far to
receive them as to cause a present ease, which continued with me a
few days longer. I found the peace they brought with them continue,
and I was in a small degree helped to believe they were from God to
me, and as much mine as they were Joshua’s, to whom they were spoken;
but though my thoughts were in a measure fixed upon them, yet I was
not without being assaulted with some misgivings of heart. I
concluded it best to entreat the Lord to shew me this more
powerfully, and not only to put the words in my mind, but to write
them so effectually that I might know, without the shadow of a doubt,
I was actually interested in the capital blessings the words
contained. This was most divinely manifested in a few days
afterwards, as I was in the act of reading some remarks of the truly
excellent Mr. Toplady, on Justification by the imputed Righteousness
of the adorable God-Man. I was actually overcome with a sweet
surprise of the love of God to me in Christ Jesus, making his dear
Son a sin offering, and his people righteousness in him. I was
enabled to feel such solid peace, holy joy, and sacred pleasure in my
soul as can never be described by tongue or pen. I was melted by the
power of his love, and indulged with such access to God, that every
doubt, fear, and misgiving of heart, was removed. I saw, I knew, I
felt that I was reconciled to God, and that God was my Father, my
Saviour, my Comforter.—Oh, that I had then sunk into the arms of
death! O that I had been permitted to take my flight! At that time
the Saviour had engaged my heart, nor could I then have sinned
against him for the world. I want many such sweet manifestations of
his sensible presence; and I can assure you, painful as my situation
is, I would gladly endure it again for such enjoyments. But I must
observe, these blessed seasons are unknown to carnal professors, and
never enjoyed, even by the favorites of heaven, while in a light,
careless, carnal frame of soul; no—the promise runs thus, ‘To this
man will I look, (and surely it was a look of love which I
experienced) and with him will I dwell, who is poor and of a contrite
heart, and that trembles at my word.’”

After this most blessed manifestation, the Lord gradually opened my mind, gave me a discerning eye to discover and receive the Bible testimony of the Lord Jesus, accompanied with a fixation of soul and a stayedness upon him. I now no longer depend upon past experience, but am pressing forward to know the person and glory of Christ, as the expression of the Father’s love; the covenant transactions of the adorable Trinity; the union subsisting between Christ and my soul, founded on his union with my nature, and his union with the Father; the great act of his incarnation; the holiness of his nature, and his wonderful life, as the obedience and righteousness of his church; the putting away sin by the sacrifice of himself, and the virtue, glory, and dignity of that precious work; his triumphant resurrection, for his dear people, and glorious ascension; his life of intercession in heaven, and his carrying on the work of salvation as an advocate with the Father; this is the grand object I am aiming to grow into the knowledge of, that I may live a life of faith upon him, enjoy communion with him, and live to his glory; that I may make manifest the savour of his name in _every_ place, not only in the pulpit, but in every other place and company where I can. Knowing the evil of sin, the weakness of the creature, and the value of Christ, I want daily to die to self, and live to him; to go out of self, as sinful, moral, or gracious, and by looking to Jesus in the Word, I may enjoy peace in believing; thus to live to his honour, and to be useful to his people, to die in his smiles, and to be with him for ever; to behold his glory, being found in him, having no other robe but that which he has wrought out, nor any other increased glory, but the work of his own spirit. This is all my salvation, and all my desire for my own soul, and for the whole of God’s family the Lord calls me to labour among.

Yours, J. C.