Chapter VIII: Part II: (A change comes o’er the spirit of the O.G.)

Now she flaunts by night or day,
In gorgeous dress and ribbons gay:
Conscience often whispers “nay!”
But love of finery cries “_yea_.”
Calling conscience “horrid rot!”
She knows not what the end may be,
And so she hath a “jolly spree,”
But little other care hath she--
That girl who sold shalot!

And now, before a mirror clear,
She learns each wily glance and leer;
Then puts an earring in each ear,
And donning some fast, flashy gear,
Starts for some den that London blots.
There the vicious eddy whirls;
And there is vice in gold and pearls;
And there are jewelled, wretched girls,
Who’d scorn to sell shalots!

Sometimes a troop of swells--drunk--mad
(Who’d call a sober man a cad)--
Bring in a very verdant lad,
And teach him everything that’s bad,
And stain his soul with cank’ring spots.
And there she sits, with eyes so blue,
Loudly and lightly chatted to;
Oh! she was brighter, _happier too_,
When she cried, “Fine shalots!”

For she must suffer many slights--
May never more know home’s delights--
Can scarcely claim a woman’s rights;
Must writhe beneath the scorn that blights
Such cheerless, weary, dreary lots;
And dies, at last, by some road-side;
Or, urged by sin’s despairing pride,
_She sinks beneath the murky tide--
That girl who sold shalots!_

_Fun_, 1864.

END OF VOLUME VIII.

Butler & Tanner, Frome and London.

Transcription of texts inside illustrations

Page 24.

I cannot tell, what you and other men
Think of this life; but, for my single self,
I had as lief not be, as live to be
In ~awe~ of such a ~thing~ as I myself.

Page 25.

OWING TO A SPRAINED ANKLE, AN ACTRESS PLAYED CARMEN IN A BATH CHAIR

SIGNOR BELLOWNI HAD A SORE THROAT THE OTHER NIGHT, BUT HE PLUCKILY
WENT THROUGH HIS PART WITH THE AID OF A MACHINE

ARE YOU RIGHT SIR?

ALTHOUGH SUFFERING FROM A SEVERE ATTACK OF GOUT, M^{R} BUSKIN PLAYED
ROMEO MANFULLY

AITCHOO!

INFLUENZA DID NOT PREVENT M^{R} YELLOWCHEEK FROM GOING THROUGH HIS
FAVOURITE PART OF HAMLET LAST NIGHT

SIGNOR SQUALLO HAS BEEN CONFINED TO HIS BED WITH PNEUMONIA, BUT WE ARE
GLAD TO SAY HE WAS ABLE TO MAKE A VERY SUCCESSFUL APPEARANCE AS
MEPHISTOPHELES

SUCCESS ATTENDED SIGNOR TOPNOTO’S IMPERSONATION OF TRISTAN, THOUGH HE
WAS NURSING A BAD COLD IN THE HEAD.

Page 27.

“HOORAY!” “SPLENDID!” “BRAVO!”

STEALS SOMEONE ELSE’S GIRL

“WELL DONE!” “I HOPE HE WON’T BE FOUND OUT!” “HOW DARING HE IS!”

STEALS HER FATHER’S PICTURES

“GOOD!” “ISN’T HE A SPORTSMAN!” “WHAT A SPLENDID FELLOW!”

STEALS HER TIARA

“FINE!” “I HOPE HE’LL ESCAPE!” “HOW NOBLE!”

ESCAPES FROM POLICE IN A MOTOR CAR

Page 31.

THE LIGHTING OF THE HOUSE IS SURE TO RECEIVE ATTENTION

MR BUSKIN M.P. HURRIES TO THE HOUSE AFTER A MATINÉE TO VOTE FOR HIS
PARTY

“DISGRACEFUL COSTUME” “OUGHT NOT TO BE ALLOWED!” “LOWERS THE DIGNITY
OF THE HOUSE!”

DIGNIFIED EXIT OF M^{R} GARRICK-KEAN M.P. AFTER AN UNSUCCESSFUL
ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE THE ATTENTION OF THE HOUSE.

“CHAIR” “BOO” “ORDER”

“NO MATTER-R-R! A TIME WILL COME!”

“WHERE’S THE PROMPTER?”

A MAIDEN SPEECH

“HA! HA!” “HA! HA!” “HA! HA!”

EFFECT OF A LOW COMEDIAN ON THE HOUSE

Page 32.

WE SHALL SOON SEE ACTORS WEARING MASKS OUT OF DOORS

THE ACTOR-MANAGER WILL REFUSE LIMELIGHT

“THIS PART OF THE STAGE WILL DO FOR ME”

THIS WILL BE A QUITE USUAL OCCURRENCE ON FIRST NIGHTS

“M^{R} GARRICK-KEAN IS NO LONGER IN THE HOUSE!”

THE GENERAL APPEARANCE OF THE ACTOR WILL CHANGE FROM THIS-- TO THIS--

THIS MAY POSSIBLY HAPPEN

“NO, I’VE TAKEN ONE CALL, LET SOMEONE ELSE GO FORWARD NOW!”

Page 35.

“BE OFF, OR I’LL CALL IN THE POLICE!”

“WHAT CHEEK!”

“WANTS TO BUY A SEAT!”

“WHAT IMPUDENCE!”

WHEN BUSINESS IS GOOD

“LET ME TAKE YOUR COAT, SIR!”

“DO TAKE A PROGRAMME, SIR!”

“ANY SEAT YOU LIKE, SIR!”

“COME IN MY DEAR SIR. DON’T GO AWAY!”

WHEN BUSINESS IS BAD

Page 39.

“COME AND LUNCH WITH ME AT THE ACTORS’ CLUB”

“HULLO, OLD MAN, SEEN ME IN MY NEW PART? BIGGEST SUCCESS OF MODERN
TIMES!”

“HULLO, DEAR BOY, SEEN MY ROMEO? FINEST EVER KNOWN--BRINGS THE HOUSE
DOWN EVERY NIGHT!”

“I TELL YOU, OLD BOY, MY SHOW IS THE FUNNIEST IN LONDON. I’M SIMPLY
GREAT IN IT!”

“SMITH’S HAMLET ISN’T IN IT WITH MINE!”

“COME AND LUNCH WITH ME AT THE ACTORS’ CLUB”

Page 56.

IT IS A STRANGE IDIOSYNCRACY OF CERTAIN THEATRE-GOERS THAT THEY WILL
HUSTLE AND PUSH AND FIGHT TO LEAVE THEIR SEATS BEFORE THE CURTAIN GOES
DOWN--

--IN ORDER TO STAND AT THE ENTRANCE AND PREVENT OTHERS FROM LEAVING
THE THEATRE

Page 57.

CALL BOY
CHARWOMAN
SUPERS
STAGE CARPENTER
SCENE SHIFTERS
BOOT MAKER
TAILOR
UPHOLSTERER
WIG MAKER
LIMELIGHT MAN
PROMPTER
GAS FITTER
TROMBONE

Page 116 top.

LITERATURE: we shall all be run down & devoured!!--there won’t be a
bit of us left for succedding ages!--the dogs nowadays have got such
large Capacities!!

Left hand baby: FIRST STEPS TO LEARNING

Right hand baby: READING MADE EASY

Page 116 bottom.

Flag: We are the boys

Book title: NEW HORN BOOK EVERY MAN his own TRUMPETER.

Page 118.

Girl: You see Gran Ma, before you suct this Egg, or, more properly
speaking before you extract the matter contained within this shell by
suction, you must make an incision at the Apex & a Corresponding
aperture at the base.

Grandma: Aye, Dear--How very clever!!--they only used to make a hole
at each end in my time--Well I declare they are making improvments in
everything.

Book: WHO KILLED COCK ROBIN

Books in toy basket: amongst others THEOLOGY, SHAKESPEARE, EUCLID,
BOYLE, BENTLEY, MILTON, HUME

Page 178.

Now mind, you are to make me appear as usgly as you can--aye--you may
stare!--but you must know that I am the only one that dislikes
flattery. In fact, I want every-body to laugh at me--so the more
ridiculous you make methe better I shall like it

It’s an odd request! But I’ll do my best

Page 190 top.

WAITING FOR A SEAT

THE FIGHT ROUND THE TEA ROOM

Charming!
How nice
How pretty!
Quite nice

TRYING TO GET A GLIMPSE OF THE PICTURES

OH MY HEAD! GOING

HOME

NEXT DAY

Page 249.

Pa. By Bobby
Ma. By Bobby
Grandpa. By Bobby
Sister. By Bobby

Page 287.

♫ SING HO! FOR THE LIFE OF A CLERK ♫
♫ TRA-LA ♫

♫ WE ARE BARRISTERS BOLD AND FREE ♫
♫ YES BOLD AND FREE ♫
♫ WHO SO FREE IN THE LAND! ♫

♫ WE’VE GOT NO WORK TO DO-O ♫
♫ OH A LIFE ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE ♫

♫ THE LIFE OF A TYPIST IS GAY ♫
♫ TRA-LA-LA! ♫

♫ MERRY SHOP GIRLS ARE WE ♫
I SAID HANDKERCHIEFS

♫ YO-HO! YO-O HO! ♫
♫ NOW WHO’S FOR THE BA-ANK! ♫

Transcriber’s Notes

Depending on the hard- and software used, not all elements may display
as intended.

Inconsistencies and unusual spelling have been retained.

The transcriptions of the texts inside illustrations have been made
for this e-text.

Some missing and incorrect punctuation has been added or corrected
silently, as have been some obvious printer’s errors.

On page 74/75, 176/177 and 252/253 references to the illustrations and
captions on the opposite page have been deleted.

Page 84: ... the muffs who loat ... has been changed to ... the muffs
who gloat ....