Chapter XIV: The Royal Arctic Theatre

"Haste thee, Nymph, and bring with thee
Jest and youthful jollity,
Quips, and cranks, and wanton wiles,
Nods, and becks, and wreathed smiles,
Sport that wrinkled Care derides,
And Laughter holding both his sides."

MILTON.

Sir Edward Parry, during his first and subsequent winters in the Arctic Regions, fully recognized the importance of not only exercising and improving the minds of those under his command, during the long period of enforced inaction, but also of amusing them, and letting them feel that they also were assisting in the amusement of their shipmates. To do this he instituted an evening school on the lower deck, the officers acting as teachers; and he established periodicals, dramatic and other entertainments, in which he himself joined and took a conspicuous part.

His wise example has been generally followed by the different expeditions that subsequently wintered in the Arctic Regions.

It is, in fact, very necessary to exercise both the physical and mental powers of the men during the dark months, for when once the ship has been safely established in winter quarters little work remains to be done. The officers are constantly employed in taking and working up observations in various branches of science; but the seaman has little to do but reflect on, and possibly brood over, his situation. It is, therefore, absolutely essential that some means should be devised to drive from him all unpleasant thoughts, and to make him feel that it is in his power to relieve the tedium of what would otherwise be a long and monotonous winter.

Each ship had been provided, before leaving England, with a printing-press, and an officer and seaman[1] had been instructed in its use.

As soon as it was set up and in working order, the following prospectus was issued by the "firm."

"THE ARCTIC PRINTING OFFICE.

"Messrs. Giffard and Symons beg to inform the public that they have
obtained--at an immense cost and with infinite trouble--possession of
the extensive premises, lately occupied by Mr. Clements Markham,
situated in Trap Lane, within half a minute's walk of the foremost
Quarter Deck Ladder, and easily accessible to all parts of the city.

"They have fitted up their new establishment--_regardless of
expense_--with all the _latest inventions_ and _newest machinery_, to
enable them to carry on the noble art of printing in a style and with
a rapidity hitherto quite unattainable.

"They therefore expect from the public that support and assistance
which it always gives to the _truly deserving_.

"Charges moderate. No credit given. All work required to be executed
to be paid for in advance.

"N.B. Everything undertaken promptly and correctly executed.

"H.M.S. 'Alert,'

"July 28, 1875."

The "cost" and "trouble" alluded to in this production, that were expended in obtaining a convenient place in which to carry out the "noble art of printing," were caused by the fact that our photographers were equally anxious, with our printers, to possess themselves of the small cabin lately occupied by my cousin, and which is so grandiloquently alluded to as "extensive premises." In fact, for some little time it was a very sore and vexed question between those two celebrated and energetic firms. Trap Lane was so called in consequence of the after-hold being immediately outside the door of the cabin; and it occasionally served as a very disagreeable kind of man-trap when, through inadvertence, the hatch had not been replaced. As this part of the ship was, during the early part of her commission, in total darkness, owing to the piles of stores that were stowed in every available corner, it is no wonder that unsuspecting individuals should occasionally have fallen into the trap!

Our printing-press was, it is almost needless to say, of great use to us during the winter; for, although it never printed very much for the public service, it was constantly called into requisition for the purpose of striking off programmes for our dramatic and other entertainments; and on such important events as birthdays and Christmas-day we indulged in the extravagance of printed bills of fare. On the whole the printing establishment on board the "Alert" tended very materially to beguile the tedium of our long nights, and must therefore be regarded as a decided success.

Our school was opened on the 1st of November; from which date, until the reappearance of the sun, the attendance was regular and constant. It was composed of nearly the whole ship's company, and was divided into classes under the direct superintendence of the officers. Reading, writing, history, arithmetic, and navigation were the principal subjects in which the pupils were instructed.

The school was held on the lower deck between eight and nine o'clock in the evening, the classes occupying the different mess-tables. Only two men out of the entire ship's company were unable to read and write, and these two men were placed in a class with two others, who were unable to read and write English.[2] This class was presided over by the doctor, who kindly volunteered to devote himself to the instruction of the "cripples," as they were facetiously called.

As an illustration of the improvement which has taken place in the education of the men belonging to the Royal Navy during the last half-century, it may be mentioned that, whereas in Parry's time it was quite the exception to find a man that could read or write, with us the exception was entirely the other way, only two men out of fifty-five being ignorant of those accomplishments.

Never were seen such painstaking and willing scholars as our men showed themselves to be. It is impossible to conceive a more orderly or well-conducted school, and it was a pleasure to the masters to devote their time to classes that evinced such an earnest desire of acquiring knowledge as did those on board the "Alert."

Here might be observed a staid old seaman, whose great brawny hand appeared more suited to grasp the marline-spike than the pen, vainly endeavouring, with his elbows squared, his weather-beaten face close down over his work, and his tongue thrust out, to arrive at some satisfactory result in a simple addition sum. As a contrast to this, at the opposite table might be seen a smart young sailor, who had distanced all his competitors in arithmetic, asking abstruse questions in mensuration of such a nature as to make even his tutor feel uncomfortable!

After the classes were dismissed, the men enjoyed an uninterrupted evening to themselves. Games of various descriptions, such as chess, bagatelle, draughts, and cribbage, had been purchased for their amusement before leaving England, and were in constant requisition during the winter. A large space on the starboard side of the deck, abaft the living deck, was allotted to the smokers, and here were held our dramatic and weekly entertainments on Thursdays. On Sundays Divine service was performed in the same place.

Books were also a source of great amusement and interest to many of the men who were studiously inclined, as the well-thumbed volumes in our library soon testified. Several men wrote regular journals, which were even kept up by a few whilst they were sledging. Amongst the officers, chess, backgammon, and a rubber in the captain's cabin, formed the chief amusements. Although gambling is discountenanced (or ought to be) on board every well-regulated man of war, we so far forgot ourselves as to indulge largely in this vice. Seldom was a game played without a stake on the result! The stakes, too, were exorbitant, frequently as much as one lucifer match per game! It must be remembered that matches were very scarce and precious articles with us, and it was therefore a very high and valuable stake. On one occasion, one of my messmates was so rash as to wager a tallow-candle on the result of a game; but this was an offer of such magnitude that no one was sufficiently brave or sporting to accept it.

Among the many valuable gifts showered upon us by kind and generous friends at home was an excellent piano, and fortunately amongst the officers there was a very talented musician, to whose good nature and willing efforts to please must be attributed many a pleasant hour, when our hearts were warmed by well-known airs bringing back happy home memories.

Thursday evenings were always devoted to dramatic entertainments, magic-lantern exhibitions, instructive lectures, reading, and music both vocal and instrumental. These entertainments were kept up with the same spirit, and without a break, during the whole winter. They went by the name of our "Thursday Pops," and afforded much pleasure and amusement. They were announced to the general Arctic public by the following printed notice, which was widely circulated.

H.M.S. "ALERT."

THURSDAY POPULAR ENTERTAINMENTS.

On Thursday, the 11th of November, 1875, will commence a series of
popular entertainments, that will consist of lectures, readings,
recitations, and music, both vocal and instrumental, etc. No trouble
or expense have been spared in obtaining the services of a great
number of the most talented men of the day. The entertainment will be
given in the airy and commodious hall situated in Funnel Row.

PROGRAMME:

_Astronomical Lecture_ (with discussion) Capt. NARES.
_Song_ "I knew that I was dreaming" Mr. GOOD.
_Song_ "Watercresses" Mr. SHIRLEY.
_Reading_ "The Jumping Frog" Dr. MOSS.
_Song_ "An Englishman am I" Mr. CANE.
_Song_ "Broken down" Mr. BRYANT.
_Glee_ "The Wreath" Messrs. ALDRICH, PULLEN, and RAWSON.
_Song_ "The White Squall" Mr. MASKELL.

God save the Queen.

No encores. Doors open at 7.30. Sledges may be ordered at 9 o'clock

Messrs. Giffard and Symons, Printing Office, Trap Lane.

This was the first notification issued regarding our weekly entertainments, and, coming out a day or two before the performance, it naturally caused considerable excitement and flutter amongst the Arctic playgoing world!

Except on the evenings exclusively devoted to the legitimate drama, these entertainments were always preceded by a lecture delivered by one of the officers, on some interesting and at the same time instructive subject, adapted to the knowledge and intelligence of the audience. A list of the lectures so delivered cannot fail to be of interest.

1. On astronomy Capt. Nares.
2. A few words on magnetism Lieut. Giffard.
3. On geology Capt. Feilden.
4. A few words on meteorology Lieut. Aldrich.
5. A few words on steam Mr. Wootton.
6. Mock moons under the microscope Dr. Moss.
7. On light Lieut. Parr.
8. An historical lecture Mr. White.
9. A few words on astronomy Com. Markham.
10. Our food in the arctic regions Dr. Colan.
11. A few words on arctic plants Rev. H. W. Pullen.
12. On hydrostatics Lieut. May.
13. Sledging experiences Capt. Nares.

Nearly all the officers took part in these lectures, and I have not the slightest doubt that all would have done so had there been any more Thursdays to spare. They were eagerly listened to by the ship's company, and afforded quite as much pleasure as the readings and songs that followed, in the performance of which they all, with only one or two exceptions, took part.

The first real dramatic entertainment came off on the following Thursday. Our plan was for the men to act one piece and the officers another, and this was found to work very well. But the rehearsals were a difficulty, and we were frequently compelled to shut ourselves up in our own cabins in order to secure the necessary quiet and privacy to enable us to become perfect in our different parts.

The costumes were, of course, a subject of much discussion and deep interest. The making up of dresses, and the manufacture of wigs from musk-ox skins and oakum, sorely taxed our ingenuity and employed minds and fingers that had hitherto been strangers to such occupations. Many were the needles broken, and many were the fingers pricked, before our ideal costumes were realized. Eiderdown quilts had to be converted into the robes of a lovely oriental princess; old uniform coats were beautified with spangles and tinsel, and appeared as the fashionable habiliments of a dandy of the seventeenth century; whilst a wicked magician, of the Hebrew persuasion, appeared in a coat of unmistakeable clerical cut.

Egerton was an indefatigable stage manager, and the scenic arrangements under the direction of Moss, who was also the artist, could not be excelled. Aldrich at the piano (as our orchestra) was a host in himself, adding materially to the success of the entertainments. In fact, officers and men vied with each other in their endeavours to promote amusement and hilarity, and if their histrionic abilities were not of the highest order, the zeal and energy of the actors fully compensated for this deficiency.

We enjoyed a rare freedom from harsh ill-natured critics. These pests do not venture across the Arctic Circle. All who visited the Royal Arctic Theatre (re-opened after a lapse of twenty-one years) came with a firm resolve to please or be pleased. Acting upon this determination, our entertainments were bound to be successful. The following prologue, composed for the occasion by Pullen, was spoken at the opening of our theatre, on Thursday, the 18th of November, 1875.

"Kind friends, with kindly greetings met to-day,
We bid you welcome to our opening play:
You, whose indulgent smile forbids the fear
Of scornful wit or captious critic here.
To-day we welcome you, and not to-night,
For all is noon with us--all summer bright;
And though the southern sun has ceased to pour
His glittering rays upon our ice-bound shore--
Has ceased awhile to touch with drops of gold
The crystal corners of our hummocks bold;
We bear a warm soft light that never fades--
A lustrous light amid these Greenland shades;
All trustful of each other's love, we learn
With steady flame our lamp of Hope to burn;
And suns may set, and twilights disappear--
They shall not rob us of our Christmas cheer;
Nor blinding drift, nor frozen wave, shall chill
Our laughter glad--for laugh, brave boys, we will;
Kindling yet once again the genial glow
Of happy English homes on Arctic floe.

"Yet once again; for none would here forget
We are but sons of fathers living yet;
In work and play alike, we but renew
The deeds of men who taught us what to do.
And though, more favoured than the rest, we soar
To loftier flights than theirs who went before;
Though ours the boast, by skilful guidance led,
In virgin climes our shifting scene to spread;
We love to read on history's faithful page,
Of ancient triumphs on our Northern stage,
And boldly for our brave forerunners claim
An Arctic 'cast' already known to fame.

"Now let the tell-tale curtain rise, and say
What we have done to while your hours away.
Such as we have, we bring you of our best,
And to your kind forbearance leave the rest.
One only grief is ours, and you shall share
With us the burden of that gentle care.
One cherished form we miss--one touch alone--
One glance of love--one tender, thrilling tone.
Ah! in the sweet homes of our native isle
The dear ones move, and minister, and smile.
We would not wish them here, but this we know,
Their thoughts are with us every step we go:
Their life sets northward o'er the cold, grey sea:
They live in wondering what our life may be;
And heart draws near to heart, and soul to soul,
Till each has found its true magnetic pole.

"God bless and keep them in His mighty hand--
Our wives and sweethearts, and the dear old land!"

The prologue was warmly applauded. At its conclusion the curtain rose, and the following programme, showing the plays that were acted and the cast of characters, was proceeded with.

THE ROYAL ARCTIC THEATRE

Will be re-opened on Thursday next, the 18th instant, by the powerful
dramatic company of

HYPERBOREANS!

Under the distinguished patronage of Capt. Nares, the members of the
Arctic Exploring Expedition, and all the nobility and gentry of the
neighbourhood.

The world-wide reputation of this company is quite unrivalled. The
manager has spared neither trouble nor expense in forming this
company, and has selected none but the very best _artistes_--the
ladies being from England--who, having numerous other engagements, can
remain for a short time only.

The scenic arrangements, under the control and manipulation of that
celebrated artist, Professor Moss, _must_ be acknowledged to be
unparalleled in the experience of ages and of the highest order.

The orchestra, under the management of Signore Aldrichi (lately from
Milan) cannot fail to be appreciated by the audience.

At 7.30 will commence the celebrated nautical farce

THE CHOPS OF THE CHANNEL.

CHARACTERS:

Leander Hellespont Mr. Stuckberry.
Mr. Counter Balance Mr. Woolley.
Gratings (Steward) Mr. Burroughs.
Mrs. Hellespont Mdlle. Francombi.
Mrs. Veneer Mdme. Maskelli.

Time The present day.
Scene Saloon of a Boulogne steamer.

Interval of ten minutes.

During the interval the renowned vocalist, Mr. Stone, will sing THE
IRISH BARBER.

After which will be performed the screaming tragico-comico burlesque
entitled

VILIKINS AND HIS DINAH.

CHARACTERS:

Master Grumbleton Gruffin, a rich (soap) merchant of London, the
original parient Com. Markham.

Baron Boski Bumble, ancestor of the celebrated beadle, the original
lovier so gallant and gay Mr. Egerton.

William Wilkins, socially and convivially known as Vilikins, a young
apprentice, in desperate love with Mr. Rawson.

Dinah Gruffin, the sole feminine offspring of the above-mentioned
soap-merchant, in love with the aforesaid Vilikins Mdlle. Blanc.

Scene 1 Lawn of Gruffin's house.
Scene 2 Interior of Gruffin's house.
Scene 3 Lawn of Gruffin's house.

God save the Queen.

This, the first appearance of the "Hyperboreans," was eminently successful, and elicited both laughter and applause from our very appreciative and demonstrative audience. Mademoiselle Blanc (Mr. White) made a fascinating little Dinah of six feet high, dressed in a Dolly Varden costume, whilst the other ladies were all that could be desired, and looked charming in their gorgeous silk and muslin dresses.

In this respect we had a decided advantage over our consort, the "Discovery;" for her space on board being somewhat limited, the building of an ice theatre on the floe became necessary. Here, though the building was spacious and elegant, the temperature was rarely above zero! The ladies were therefore unable to indulge in low dresses, and a close observer might have detected underclothing composed of seal-skins beneath their otherwise gay and brilliant costumes.

Occasionally, as the two following bills will show, we were agreeably surprised by the announcement of an entire change of programme.

H.M.S. "ALERT."

THURSDAY POPS.

December 16th, 1875.

Great attraction! The latest novelty of the season!!
The Wizard of the North!!! [finger symbol] For one night only!!!!

PROGRAMME:

The entertainment will commence with
A FEW WORDS ON STEAM . . Mr. Wootton.
After which the only and veritable

WIZARD OF THE NORTH,

_en route_ to his hyperborean domicile,

will exhibit and expound some of his original and inimitable illusions
and feats of prestidigitation, consisting of the following wonderful
and startling tricks:--

The vanishing egg.
The magic die.
The mysterious sixpence.
The magic shawl.
A startling surgical operation.
The marvellous watch trick.
Tricks with cards.
The magic bag trick.
The wonderful generating hat.
The astounding prestidigitorial metamorphosis, performed with
an egg and silk handkerchief.
The inexhaustible bottle.
Our very able and renowned pianist, Lieut. Aldrich, will, as usual,
preside at the orchestra.
To commence at 7.30 precisely.

God save the Queen.

Messrs. Giffard and Symons, Printing Office, Trap Lane.

THURSDAY POPS.

H.M.S. "ALERT."

January 20th, 1876.

GRAND PHANTASMAGORIAL EXHIBITION
and
MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENT.

To commence with
A FEW WORDS ON ASTRONOMY, by Com. Markham,
Illustrated by the aid of a magic lantern.
To be followed by a series of

DISSOLVING VIEWS,

Consisting of coloured representations of
Remarkable places in England,
Photographic sketches of foreign countries, etc.
After which, the wonderful and startling adventures of

SINDBAD THE SAILOR

Will be related by the Rev. H. W. Pullen.
In the next place Com. Markham will give a life-like and
entertaining display of various specimens in

NATURAL HISTORY;
and
Lieut. Aldrich will recite the true and touching
TALE OF A TUB.

To conclude with some highly amusing

COMIC SCENES.

To commence at 7.30 precisely.

God save the Queen.

Messrs. Giffard and Symons, Printing Office, Trap Lane.

These amusements may be considered light and frivolous, for men engaged in such a serious undertaking as that upon which we were embarked; still they all tended to one point--namely, the successful issue of the enterprise. For they kept the minds of the men employed with pleasant and agreeable thoughts, drove away all feelings of tedium and dulness, and thus assisted largely in promoting the general well-being and satisfactory sanitary condition of the expedition during the long night of nearly one hundred and fifty days. They effectually banished despondency, and assisted in making all hands cheerful, happy, and contented.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] Lieutenant Giffard and Robert Symons, A.B.

[2] Petersen, the Danish interpreter, and the ship's cook Dominick a
native of Gibraltar.