Chapter II: Preface: To the First Edition

When Old Fogeyism is being lowered to his last resting place, Pettifoggism, being his chief mourner, will be so overwhelmed with grief that he will tumble into the same grave. How then to hasten the demise of this venerable Humbug is the question. Some are for letting him die a natural death, others for reducing him gradually by a system of slow starvation: for myself, I confess, I am for knocking him on the head at once. Until this event, so long wished for by all the friends of Enlightenment and Progress, shall have happened, there will be no possibility of a Reform which will lessen the needless expense and shorten the unjustifiable delay which our present system of legal procedure occasions; a system which gives to the rich immeasurable advantages over poor litigants; and amounts in many cases not only to a perversion of justice but to a denial of it altogether.

Old Fogeyism only tinkers at reform, and is so nervous and incompetent that in attempting to mend one hole he almost invariably makes two. The Public, doubtless, will, before long, undertake the much needed reform and abolish some of the unnecessary business of "judges' chambers," where the ingenuity of the Pettifogging Pleader is so marvellously displayed. How many righteous claims are smothered in their infancy at this stage of their existence!

I have endeavoured to bring the evils of our system before the Public in the story of Mr. Bumpkin. The solicitors, equally with their clients, as a body, would welcome a change which would enable actions to be carried to a legitimate conclusion instead of being stifled by the "Priggs" and "Locusts" who will crawl into an honorable profession. It is impossible to keep them out, but it is not impossible to prevent their using the profession to the injury of their clients. All respectable solicitors would be glad to see the powers of these unscrupulous gentlemen curtailed.

The verses at the end of the story have been so often favourably received at the Circuit Mess, that I thought an amplified version of them in prose would not be unacceptable to the general reader, and might ultimately awaken in the public mind a desire for the long-needed reform of our legal procedure.

RICHARD HARRIS.

LAMB BUILDING, TEMPLE,
_July_, 1883.

ADVERTISEMENT.

On the 4th of December, 1882, Our Gracious Queen, on the occasion of the opening of the Royal Courts of Justice, said:--

"I trust that the uniting together in one place of the various
branches of Judicature in this my Supreme Court, will conduce to the
_more efficient_ and _speedy_ administration of justice to my
subjects."

On April 20th, 1883, in the House of Commons, Mr. H. H. Fowler asked the Attorney-General whether he was aware of the large number of causes waiting for trial in the Chancery Division of the High Court, and in the Court of Appeal; and whether the Government proposed to take any steps to remedy the delay and increased cost occasioned to the suitors by the present administration of the Judicature Acts.

The Attorney-General said the number of cases of all descriptions then waiting for trial in the Chancery Division was 848, and in the Court of Appeal 270. The House would be aware that a committee of Judges had been engaged for some time in framing rules in the hope of getting rid of some of the delay that now existed in the hearing of cases; and until those rules were prepared, which would be shortly, the Government were not desirous of interfering with a matter over which the Judges had jurisdiction. The Government were now considering the introduction of a short Judicature Act for the purpose of lessening the delay.--_Morning Post_.

[No rules or short Judicature Act at present!] {0a}

On the 13th April, 1883, Mr. Glasse, Q.C., thus referred to a statement made by Mr. Justice Pearson of the Chancery Division: "The citizens of this great country, of which your Lordship is one of the representatives, will look at the statement you have made with respectful amazement." The statement appears to have been, that his Lordship had intended to continue the business of the Court in exactly the same way in which it had been conducted by Mr. Justice Fry; but he had been informed that he would have to take the interlocutory business of Mr. Justice Kay's Court whilst his Lordship _was on Circuit_; and, as it was requisite that he should take his own interlocutory business _before the causes set down for hearing_, "ALL THE CAUSES IN THE TWO COURTS MUST GO TO THE WALL"!!! His Lordship added, that it would be necessary for him to rise at 3 o'clock every day (not at 3 o'clock in the _morning_, gentle reader), because he understood he should have to conduct the business of Mr. Justice Kay's Chambers as well as his own.--_Morning Post_.

On the 16th April, 1883, Mr. Justice Day, in charging the Grand Jury at the Manchester Spring Assizes, expressed his disagreement with the opinion of the other Judges in favour of the Commission being so altered that the Judge would have to "_deliver all the prisoners detained in gaol_," and regarded it as "a waste of the Judge's time that he should have to try a case in which a woman was indicted for _stealing a shawl worth_ 3_s._ 9_d._; or a prisoner charged with stealing _two mutton pies_ and _two ounces of bacon_."--_Evening Standard_.

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I. Shows the Beauty of a Farm Yard on a Sabbath-Day, and what a 1 difference a single letter will sometimes make in the legal signification of a Sentence CHAPTER II. The Simplicity and Enjoyments of a Country life depicted 11 CHAPTER III. Showing how true it is that it takes at least Two to make a 17 Bargain or a Quarrel CHAPTER IV. On the extreme Simplicity of Going to Law 27 CHAPTER V. In which it appears that the Sting of Slander is not always 35 in the Head CHAPTER VI. Showing how the greatest Wisdom of Parliament may be thrown 45 away on Ungrateful People CHAPTER VII. Showing that Appropriateness of Time and Place should be 55 studied in our Pastimes CHAPTER VIII. The Pleasure of a Country Drive on a Summer Evening described 63 as enhanced by a Pious Mind CHAPTER IX. A Farm-house Winter Fire-side--A morning Drive and a mutual 71 interchange of Ideas between Town and Country, showing how we may all learn something from one another CHAPTER X. The last Night before the first London Expedition, which 87 gives occasion to recall pleasant reminiscences CHAPTER XI. Commencement of London Life and Adventures 97 CHAPTER XII. How the great Don O'Rapley became an Usher of the Court of 105 Queen's Bench, and explained the Ingenious Invention of the Round Square--How Mr. Bumpkin took the water and studied Character from a Penny Steamboat CHAPTER XIII. An interesting Gentleman--showing how true it is that one 111 half the World does not know how the other half lives CHAPTER XIV. The Old Bailey--Advantages of the New System illustrated 119 CHAPTER XV. Mr. Bumpkin's Experience of London Life enlarged 133 CHAPTER XVI. The coarse mode of Procedure in Ahab _versus_ Naboth 143 ruthlessly exposed and carefully contrasted with the humane and enlightened form of the Present Day CHAPTER XVII. Showing that Lay Tribunals are not exactly Punch and Judy 151 Shows where the Puppet is moved by the Man underneath CHAPTER XVIII. A comfortable Evening at the "Goose" 165 CHAPTER XIX. The Subject continued 175 CHAPTER XX. Mr. Bumpkin sings a good old Song--The Sergeant becomes quite 179 a convivial Companion and plays Dominoes CHAPTER XXI. Joe electrifies the Company and surprises the Reader 191 CHAPTER XXII. The Sergeant makes a loyal Speech and sings a Song, both of 203 which are well received by the Company CHAPTER XXIII. The famous Don O'Rapley and Mr. Bumpkin spend a social 213 Evening at the "Goose" CHAPTER XXIV. Don O'Rapley expresses his views of the Policy of the 221 Legislature in not permitting Dominoes to be played in Public-houses CHAPTER XXV. In spite of all warnings, Joe takes his own part, not to be 227 persuaded on one side or the other--Affecting Scene between Mr. Bumpkin and his old Servant CHAPTER XXVI. Morning Reflections--Mrs. Oldtimes proves herself to be a 239 great Philosopher--The Departure of the Recruits to be sworn in CHAPTER XXVII. A Letter from Home 245 CHAPTER XXVIII. Mr. Bumpkin determines to maintain a discreet silence about 255 his Case at the Old Bailey--Mr. Prigg confers with him thereon CHAPTER XXIX. The Trial at the Old Bailey of Mr. Simple Simonman for 261 Highway Robbery with violence--Mr. Alibi introduces himself to Mr. Bumpkin CHAPTER XXX. Mr. Alibi is stricken with a Thunderbolt--Interview with 283 Horatio and Mr. Prigg CHAPTER XXXI. Mr. Bumpkin at Home again 295 CHAPTER XXXII. Joe's Return to Southwood--An Invitation from the Vicar--What 303 the Old Oak saw CHAPTER XXXIII. A Consultation as to new Lodgings--Also a Consultation with 317 Counsel CHAPTER XXXIV. Mr. Bumpkin receives Compliments from distinguished Persons 325 CHAPTER XXXV. The Trial 335 CHAPTER XXXVI. Motion for Rule _Nisi_, in which is displayed much Learning, 351 Ancient and Modern CHAPTER XXXVII. Mr. Bumpkin is congratulated by his Neighbours and Friends in 359 the Market Place and sells his Corn CHAPTER XXXVIII. Farewell 375 THE LAWSUIT 381

"_He never suffered his private partiality to intrude into the
conduct of publick business_. _Nor in appointing to employments did
he permit solicitation to supply the place of merit_; _wisely
sensible_, _that a proper choice of officers is almost the whole of
Government_."--BURKE.

_Extract from Notice of the Work in_ THE SATURDAY REVIEW, _September_ 15_th_, 1883:--

"He was obviously quite as eager for a good battle in Court as ever
was Dandy Dinmont."