Chapter V

They sought in vain for even a bone
Respectfully to bury;
They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"
(And Echo answered, "Very.")
They nailed her Dobie to the wall,
Where last her form was seen,
And underneath they wrote these words,
In yellow, blue, and green:--
"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!
Nor sit out late at night,
Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,
And swallow you outright."

NOTE.--First published in the _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874.

THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.

When awful darkness and silence reign
Over the great Gromboolian plain,
Through the long, long wintry nights;--
When the angry breakers roar,
As they beat on the rocky shore;--
When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights
Of the Hills on the Chankly Bore:--

Then, through the vast and gloomy dark,
There moves what seems a fiery spark,
A lonely spark with silvery rays
Piercing the coal-black night,--
A meteor strange and bright:--
Hither and thither the vision strays,
A single lurid light.

Slowly it wanders,--pauses,--creeps,--
Anon it sparkles,--flashes and leaps;
And ever as onward it gleaming goes
A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.
And those who watch at that midnight hour
From Hall or Terrace, or lofty Tower,
Cry, as the wild light passes along,--
"The Dong!--the Dong!
"The wandering Dong through the forest goes!
"The Dong! the Dong!
"The Dong with a luminous Nose!"

Long years ago
The Dong was happy and gay,
Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl
Who came to those shores one day.
For the Jumblies came in a Sieve, they did,--
Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd
Where the Oblong Oysters grow,
And the rocks are smooth and gray.
And all the woods and the valleys rang
With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,--
"_Far and few, far and few,
Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
And they went to sea in a Sieve._"

Happily, happily passed those days!
While the cheerful Jumblies staid;
They danced in circlets all night long,
To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,
In moonlight, shine, or shade,
For day and night he was always there
By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,
With her sky-blue hands, and her sea-green hair.

Till the morning came of that hateful day
When the Jumblies sailed in their Sieve away,
And the Dong was left on the cruel shore
Gazing--gazing for evermore,--
Ever keeping his weary eyes on
That pea-green sail on the far horizon,--
Singing the Jumbly Chorus still
As he sat all day on the grassy hill,--
"_Far and few, far and few,
Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
And they went to sea in a Sieve._"

But when the sun was low in the West,
The Dong arose and said,--
"What little sense I once possessed
Has quite gone out of my head!"
And since that day he wanders still
By lake and forest, marsh and hill,
Singing--"O somewhere, in valley or plain
"Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!
"For ever I'll seek by lake and shore
"Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!"
Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,
Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks,
And because by night he could not see,
He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree
On the flowery plain that grows.
And he wove him a wondrous Nose,--
A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!
Of vast proportions and painted red,
And tied with cords to the back of his head.
--In a hollow rounded space it ended
With a luminous lamp within suspended,
All fenced about
With a bandage stout
To prevent the wind from blowing it out;--
And with holes all round to send the light,
In gleaming rays on the dismal night.

And now each night, and all night long,
Over those plains still roams the Dong!
And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe
You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,
While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,
To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;
Lonely and wild--all night he goes,--
The Dong with a luminous Nose!
And all who watch at the midnight hour,
From Hall or Terrace, or Lofty Tower,
Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,
Moving along through the dreary night,--
"This is the hour when forth he goes,
"The Dong with a luminous Nose!
"Yonder--over the plain he goes;
"He goes;
"He goes!
"The Dong with a luminous Nose!"

THE NEW VESTMENTS.

There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,
Who invented a purely original dress;
And when it was perfectly made and complete,
He opened the door, and walked into the street.

By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,
In the middle of which he inserted his head;--
His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,
The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;--
His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins;--so were his Shoes;--
His Stockings were skins,--but it is not known whose;--
His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;--
His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;--
His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,
And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;
And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,
A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.

He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,
Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;--
And from every long street and dark lane in the town
Beasts, Birdles, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.
Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage leaf Cloak;--
Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;--
Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,--
And the tails were devoured by an ancient He Goat;--
An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his
Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;--
And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,
Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.
He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,
For scores of fat Pigs came again and again;--
They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors,--
They tore off his Stockings, his Shoes, and his Drawers.
And now from the housetops with screechings descend,
Striped, spotted, white, black, and grey Cats without end;
They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his Hat,--
When Crows, Ducks and Hens made a mincemeat of that:--
They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,
And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;--
They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,--
Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.

And he said to himself as he bolted the door,
"I will not wear a similar dress any more,
"Any more, any more, any more, never more!"

CALICO PIE.

I.

Calico Pie,
The Little Birds fly
Down to the calico tree,
Their wings were blue,
And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
Till away they flew,--
And they never came back to me!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

II.

Calico Jam,
The little Fish swam
Over the syllabub sea,
He took off his hat,
To the Sole and the Sprat,
And the Willeby-wat,--
But he never came back to me!
He never came back!
He never came back!
He never came back to me!

III.

Calico Ban,
The little Mice ran,
To be ready in time for tea,
Flippity flup,
They drank it all up,
And danced in the cup,--
But they never came back to me!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

IV.

Calico Drum,
The Grasshoppers come,
The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,
Over the ground,
Around and around,
With a hop and a bound--
But they never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back!
They never came back to me!

[Music: THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO.]

THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO.

I.

On the Coast of Coromandel,
Where the early pumpkins grow,
In the middle of the woods
Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
Two old chairs, and half a candle,--
One old jug without a handle,--
These were all his worldly goods:
In the middle of the woods,
These were all the worldly goods
Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

II.

Once, among the Bong-trees walking
Where the early pumpkins grow,
To a little heap of stones
Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
There he heard a Lady talking,
To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,--
"'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!
"On that little heap of stones
"Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"
Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

III.

"Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!
"Sitting where the pumpkins grow,
"Will you come and be my wife?"
Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
"I am tired of living singly,--
"On this coast so wild and shingly,--
"I'm a-weary of my life;
"If you'll come and be my wife,
"Quite serene would be my life!"--
Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

IV.

"On this Coast of Coromandel,
"Shrimps and watercresses grow,
"Prawns are plentiful and cheap."
Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
"You shall have my chairs and candle,
"And my jug without a handle!--
"Gaze upon the rolling deep
("Fish is plentiful and cheap)--
"As the sea, my love is deep!"
Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.

V.

Lady Jingly answered sadly,
And her tears began to flow,--
"Your proposal comes too late,
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
"I would be your wife most gladly!"
(Here she twirled her fingers madly)
"But in England I've a mate!
"Yes! you've asked me far too late,
"For in England I've a mate,
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!

VI.

"Mr. Jones--(his name is Handel,--
"Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)
"Dorking fowls delights to send,
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
"Keep, oh I keep your chairs and candle,
"And your jug without a handle,--
"I can merely be your friend!
"--Should my Jones more Dorkings send,
"I will give you three, my friend!
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!

VII.

"Though you've such a tiny body,
"And your head so large doth grow,--
"Though your hat may blow away,
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
"Though you're such a Boddy Doddy--
"Yet I wish that I could modi-
"fy the words I needs must say!
"Will you please to go away?
"That is all I have to say--
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
"Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!"