Chapter VIII (2)

“Some, who I have good reason to think are Christians indeed, were melted with a sense of divine goodness and their own barrenness and ingratitude, and seemed to _hate themselves_, as one of them afterward expressed it. Convictions also appeared to be revived in several instances; and divine truth was attended with such influence upon the assembly in general, that it might justly be called an evening of divine power.

_Lords’ day, March 9._—“Preached from Luke, 10:38-42. The word of God was attended with power and energy upon the audience. Numbers were affected, and concerned to obtain the one thing needful. Several, who have given good evidence of being truly gracious, were much affected with a sense of their want of spirituality, and saw the need they stood in of growing in grace. The greater part of those who had been under any impressions of divine things in times past, seemed now to have those impressions revived.

“In the afternoon proposed to have catechised in my usual method: but, while we were engaged in the first prayer in the Indian language, as usual, a great part of the assembly was so much moved and affected with divine things that I thought it seasonable and proper to omit the proposing of questions for that time, and to insist upon the most practical truths. I accordingly did so; making a further improvement of the passage of Scripture on which I had discoursed in the former part of the day. There appeared to be a powerful divine influence in the congregation. Several who, as I have reason to think, are truly pious, were so deeply affected with a sense of their own barrenness, and their unworthy treatment of the blessed Redeemer, that they _looked on him as pierced_ by themselves, and _mourned_, yea, some of them were _in bitterness, as for a first-born_.

“Some poor awakened sinners, also, appeared to be in anguish of soul to obtain an interest in Christ; so that there was a _great mourning_ in the assembly: many heavy groans, sobs, and tears! and one or two, newly come among us, were considerably awakened.

“Methinks it would have refreshed the heart of any, who truly love Zion’s interests, to have been in the midst of this divine influence, and seen the effects of it upon saints and sinners. The place of divine worship appeared both solemn and sweet; and was so endeared by a display of the divine presence and grace that those who had any relish for divine things could not but cry, ‘How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord of Hosts!’ After public worship was over, numbers came to my house, where we sang and discoursed of divine things; and the presence of God seemed here also to be in the midst of us.

“While we were singing there was one individual, the woman mentioned in my journal of February 9 who, I may venture to say, if I may be allowed to say so much of any person I ever saw, was ‘filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory;’ and could not but burst forth in prayer and praises to God before us all, with many tears; crying, sometimes in English and sometimes in Indian, ‘_O blessed Lord! do come, do come! O do take me away; do let me die, and go to Jesus Christ! I am afraid if I live I shall sin again. O do let me die now! O dear Jesus, do come! I cannot stay, I cannot stay! O how can I live in this world; do take my soul away from this sinful place! O let me never sin any more! O what shall I do, what shall I do, dear Jesus. O dear Jesus!_’ In this ecstacy she continued some time, uttering these and similar expressions incessantly. The grand argument she used with God to take her away immediately was, that ‘if she lived, she should sin against him.’ When she had a little recovered herself, I asked her if Christ was now sweet to her soul? Whereupon, turning to me with tears in her eyes, and with all the tokens of deep humility I ever saw in any person, she said, ‘I have many times heard you speak of the goodness and the sweetness of Christ, that he was better than all the world. But O I knew nothing what you meant. I never believed you, I never believed you! But now I know it is true;’ or words to that effect. I answered, ‘And do you see enough in Christ for the greatest of sinners?’ She replied, ‘O enough, enough for all the sinners in the world, if they would but come.’ When I asked her, ‘If she could not tell them of the goodness of Christ.’ Turning herself about to some Christless souls, who stood by, and were much affected, she said, ‘O there is enough in Christ for you if you would but come. O strive, strive to give up your hearts to him,’ &c. On hearing something of the glory of heaven mentioned, that there was no sin in that world; she again fell into the same ecstacy of joy and desire of Christ’s coming; repeating her former expressions, ‘O dear Lord, do let me go! O what shall I do; what shall I do. I want to go to Christ. I cannot live. O do let me die,’ &c.

“She continued in this sweet frame for more than two hours before she was able to get home. I am very sensible that there may be great joys, arising even to an ecstasy, where there is still no substantial evidence of their being well grounded. But in the present case there seemed to be no evidence wanting in order to prove this joy to be divine; either in regard to its preparatives, attendants, or consequents.

“Of all the persons whom I have seen under spiritual exercise I scarcely ever saw one appear more bowed and broken under convictions of sin and misery, or what is usually called a preparatory work, than this woman; nor scarcely any who seemed to have a greater acquaintance with their own heart than she had. She would frequently complain to me of the hardness and rebellion of her heart. Would tell me that her heart rose and quarrelled with God, when she thought he would do with her as he pleased, and send her to hell, notwithstanding her prayers, good frames, &c., and that her heart was not willing to come to Christ for Salvation, but tried every where else for help. As she seemed to be remarkably sensible of her stubbornness and contrariety to God, under conviction, so she appeared to be no less remarkably bowed and reconciled to his sovereignty, before she obtained any relief or comfort; something of which I have noticed in my journal of Feb. 9. Since that time she has seemed constantly to breathe the temper and spirit of the new creature; crying after Christ, not through fear of hell as before, but with strong desires after him as her only satisfying portion; and has many times wept and sobbed bitterly because, as she apprehended, she did not and could not love him. When I have sometimes asked her why she appeared so sorrowful, and whether it was because she was afraid of hell; she would answer ‘No, I be not distressed about _that_; but my heart is so wicked I cannot love Christ;’ and thereupon burst into tears. But although this has been the habitual frame of her mind for several weeks together, so that the exercise of grace appeared evident to others; yet she seemed wholly insensible to it herself, and never had any remarkable comfort and sensible satisfaction until this evening.

“This sweet and surprising ecstasy appeared to spring from a true spiritual discovery of the glory, ravishing beauty, and excellency of Christ; and not from any gross imaginary notions of his human nature, such as that of seeing him in such a place, or posture, as hanging on the cross, as bleeding and dying, as gently smiling, and the like; which delusions some have been carried away with. Nor did it rise from sordid selfish apprehensions of her having any benefit whatsoever conferred on her; but from a view of his personal excellency and transcendant loveliness; which drew forth those vehement desires of enjoying him which she now manifested, and made her long ‘to be absent from the body, that she might be present with the Lord.’

“The _attendants_ of this ravishing comfort were such as abundantly discovered its spring to be divine; and that it was truly ‘a joy in the Holy Ghost.’ Now she viewed divine truths as living realities, and could say, ‘I know these things are so; I feel that they are true!’ Now her soul was resigned to the divine will in the most tender point; so that when I said to her, ‘What if God should take away your husband from you, who was then very sick, how do you think you could bear that?’ She replied, ‘He belongs to God, and not to me; he may do with him just as he pleases.’ Now she had the most tender sense of the evil of sin, and discovered the utmost aversion to it, longing to die, that she might be delivered from it. Now she could freely trust her all with God for time and eternity. When I questioned her, ‘How she would be willing to die and leave her little infant; and what she thought would become of it in that case?’ she answered, ‘God will take care of it. It belongs to him. He will take care of it.’ Now she appeared to have the most humbling sense of her own meanness and unworthiness, her weakness and inability to preserve herself from sin, and to persevere in the way of holiness, crying, ‘If I live I shall sin.’ I then thought that I had never seen such an appearance of ecstacy and humility meeting in any one person in all my life before.

“The _consequents_ of this joy are no less desirable and satisfactory than its attendants. She since appears to be a most tender, broken-hearted, affectionate, devout, and humble Christian; as exemplary in life and conversation as any person in my congregation. May she still ‘grow in grace and in the knowledge of Christ.’

_March 10._ “Toward night the Indians met together, of their own accord, and sang, prayed, and discoursed of divine things among themselves; at which time there was much affection among them. Some, who are hopefully pious, appeared to be melted with divine things; and some others seemed much concerned for their souls. Perceiving their engagement and affection in religious exercises, I went among them, and prayed, and gave a word of exhortation; and observed two or three somewhat affected and concerned, who scarce ever appeared to be under any religious impressions before. It seemed to be a day and evening of divine power. Numbers retained the warm impressions of divine things which had been made upon their minds the day before.

_March 14._—“Was visited by a considerable number of my people, and spent some time in religious exercises with them.

_March 15._ “In the evening catechised. My people answered the questions put to them with surprising readiness and judgment. There appeared some warmth, and a feeling sense of divine things among those who I have reason to hope are real Christians, while I was discoursing upon peace of conscience and joy in the Holy Ghost. These seemed quickened and enlivened in divine service, though there was not so much appearance of concern among those whom I have reason to think in a Christless state.

_Lord’s day, March 16._—“Preached to my congregation from Hebrews, 2:1-3. Divine truth seemed to have some considerable influence upon some of the hearers, and produced many tears, as well as heavy sighs and sobs, among those who have given evidence of being real Christians, and others also. The impressions made upon the audience appeared in general deep and heart-affecting; not superficial, noisy and affected.

“Toward night discoursed again on the Great Salvation. The word was again attended with some power upon the audience. Numbers wept affectionately, and to appearance unfeignedly; so that the Spirit of God seemed to be moving upon the face of the assembly. The woman mentioned in my journal of last Lord’s day made a profession of her faith, and appeared to be in a devout, humble, and excellent frame of mind.

“My house being thronged with my people in the evening; I spent the time in religious exercises with them until my nature was almost spent. They are so unwearied in religious exercises, and insatiable in their thirsting after Christian knowledge, that I can sometimes scarcely avoid laboring so as greatly to exhaust my strength and spirits.

_March 19._—“Several of the persons who went with me to the Forks of Delaware in February last, having been detained there by the dangerous illness of one of their company, returned home but this day. Whereupon my people generally met together of their own accord, in order to spend some time in religious exercises; and especially to give thanks to God for his preserving goodness to those who had been absent from them for several weeks, and recovering mercy to him who had been sick; and that he had now returned them all in safety. As I was then absent; they desired my school-master to assist them in carrying on their religious solemnity; who tells me that they appeared engaged and affectionate in repeated prayer, singing, &c.

_March 22._—“Catechised in my usual method in the evening. My people answered questions to my great satisfaction. There appeared nothing very remarkable in the assembly, considering what has been common among us. Although I may justly say the strict attention, the tenderness and affection, the many tears and heart-affecting sobs, appearing in numbers in the assembly, would have been very remarkable, were it not that God has made these things common among us, and even with strangers soon after their coming among us, from time to time. I am far from thinking that every appearance and particular instance of affection that has been among us, has been truly genuine, and purely from a divine influence. I am sensible of the contrary; and doubt not but there has been some corrupt mixture, some _chaff_ as well as _wheat_; especially since religious concern has become so common and prevalent here.

_Lord’s day, March 23._—“There being about _fifteen strangers_, adult persons, come among us in the week past, several of whom had never been in any religious meeting till now; I thought it proper to discourse this day in a manner peculiarly suited to their circumstances and capacities; and accordingly attempted it from Hosea, 13:9. ‘O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself.’ In the forenoon I opened, in the plainest manner I could, man’s apostacy and ruined state, after having spoken some things respecting the being and perfections of God, and his creation of man in a state of uprightness and happiness. In the afternoon endeavored to open the glorious provision God has made for the redemption of apostate creatures, by giving his own dear Son to suffer for them and satisfy divine justice on their behalf. There was not that affection and concern in the assembly which has been common among us; although there was a desirable attention appearing in general, and even in most of the strangers.

“Near sun-set I felt an uncommon concern upon my mind, especially for the poor _strangers_; that God had so much withheld his presence and the powerful influence of his Spirit from the assembly in the exercises of the day; and thereby withheld from them that degree of conviction which I hoped they might have had. In this frame I visited several houses, and discoursed with some concern and affection to several persons particularly; but without much appearance of success till I came to a house where several of the strangers were. There the solemn truths on which I discoursed appeared to take effect; first upon some children; then upon several adult persons who had been somewhat awakened before; and afterward upon several of the Pagan strangers.

“I continued my discourse, with some fervency, until almost every one in the house was melted into tears, and many wept aloud, and appeared earnestly concerned to obtain an interest in Christ. Upon this, numbers soon gathered from all the houses round about; and so thronged the place that we were obliged to remove to the house where we usually met for public worship. The congregation gathered immediately, and many appearing remarkably affected, I discoursed some time from Luke, 19:10; endeavoring to open the mercy, compassion, and concern of Christ for lost, helpless, and undone sinners. There was much visible concern and affection in the assembly; and I doubt not but that a divine influence accompanied what was spoken to the hearts of many. There were five or six of the strangers, men and women, who appeared to be considerably awakened; and, in particular, one very rugged young man, who seemed as if nothing would move him, was now brought to tremble like the jailor, and weep for a long time.

“The Pagans who were awakened, seemed at once to put off their savage roughness and Pagan manners, and became sociable, orderly and humane in their carriage. When they first came, I exhorted my religious people to take pains with them as they had done with other strangers from time to time, to instruct them in Christianity. But when some of them attempted something of that nature, the strangers would soon rise up and walk to other houses in order to avoid the hearing of such discourses. Whereupon some of the serious persons agreed to disperse themselves into the several parts of the settlement; so that wherever the strangers went, they met with some instructive discourse, and warm addresses respecting their salvation. But now there was no need of using policy, in order to get an opportunity of conversing with some of them about their spiritual concerns; for they were so far touched with a sense of their perishing state, as made them voluntarily yield to the closest addresses which were made them, respecting their sin and misery, their need of an acquaintance with, and interest in the great Redeemer.

_March 24._—“Numbered the Indians to see how many souls God had gathered together here since my coming into these parts; and found there were now about _an hundred and thirty_ persons together, old and young. Several of those, who are my stated hearers, perhaps to the number of _fifteen_ or _twenty_, were absent at this season. If all had been together the number would now have been very considerable; especially considering how few were together at my first coming into this part of the country: the whole number not amounting to _ten_ persons at that time.

“My people went out this day with the design of clearing some of their land, above fifteen miles distant from this settlement, in order to their settling there in a compact form, where they might be under the advantages of attending the public worship of God, of having their children taught in a school, and at the same time have a conveniency for planting: their land, in the place of our _present_ residence, being of little or no value for that purpose. The design of their settling thus in a body, and cultivating their lands, of which they have done very little in their Pagan state, being of such necessity and importance to their religious interest as well as worldly comfort; I thought it proper to call them together, and show them the duty of laboring with faithfulness and industry, and that they must not now ‘be slothful in business,’ as they had ever been in their Pagan state. I endeavored to press the importance of their being laborious, diligent, and vigorous in the prosecution of their business; especially at the present juncture, the season of planting being now near, in order to their being in a capacity of living together, and enjoying the means of grace and instruction. Having given them directions for their work, which they very much wanted, as well as for their behavior in divers respects; I explained, sang, and endeavored to inculcate upon them Dr. Watts’ Psalm,

If God to build the house deny &c.

and having recommended them, and the design of their going forth, to God, by prayer with them, I dismissed them to their business.

“In the evening read and expounded to those of my people who were yet at home, and to the _strangers_ newly come, the substance of the 3d chapter of the Acts. Numbers seemed to melt under the word; especially while I was discoursing upon verse 19. ‘Repent ye, therefore, and be converted,’ &c. Several of the strangers also were affected. When I asked them afterward, whether they did not now feel that their hearts were wicked, as I had taught them; one of them replied, ‘Yes, she felt it now.’ Although before she came here, upon hearing that I taught the Indians that their hearts were all bad by nature, and needed to be changed and made good by the power of God; she had said, ‘Her heart was not wicked, and she had never done any thing that was bad in her life.’ This, indeed, seems to be the case with them, I think universally, in their pagan state. They seem to have no consciousness of sin and guilt, unless they can charge themselves with some gross acts of sin contrary to the commands of the _second table._

_March 27._—“Discoursed to a number of my people in one of their houses in a more private manner. Inquired particularly into their spiritual states, in order to see what impressions they were under. Laid before them the marks of a regenerate, as well as of an unregenerate state; and endeavored to suit and direct my discourse to them severally, according as I apprehended their states to be. There were a considerable number gathered together before I finished my discourse; and several seemed much affected while I was urging the necessity and infinite importance of getting into a renewed state. I find particular and close dealing with souls in private is often very successful.

_March 29._—“In the evening catechised, as usual upon Saturday. Treated upon the benefits which believers receive from Christ at death. The questions were answered with great readiness and propriety; and those who I have reason to think are the dear people of God were in general sweetly melted. There appeared such a liveliness and vigor in their attendance upon the word of God, and such eagerness to be made partakers of the benefits mentioned, that they seemed not only to be ‘looking for,’ but ‘hasting to, the coming of the day of God.’ Divine truths seemed to distil upon the audience with a gentle but melting efficacy, as the refreshing ‘showers upon the new mown grass.’ The assembly in general, as well as those who appear truly religious, were affected with some brief accounts of the blessedness of the godly at death; and most of them then discovered an affectionate inclination to cry ‘Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his;’ although many were not duly engaged to obtain the change of heart that is necessary to that blessed end.

_Lord’s day, March 30._—“Discoursed from Matt. 25:31-40. There was a very considerable moving, and affectionate melting, in the assembly. I hope that there were some real, deep, and abiding impressions of divine things made upon the minds of many. There was one aged man, newly come among us, who appeared to be considerably awakened that never was touched with any concern for his soul before. In the evening catechised. There was not that tenderness and melting engagement among God’s people which appeared the evening before, and many other times. They answered the _questions_ distinctly, and well, and were devout and attentive in divine service.

_March 31._—“Called my people together, as I had done the Monday evening before, and discoursed to them again on the necessity and importance of laboring industriously in order to their living together, and enjoying the means of grace, &c. Having engaged in a solemn prayer to God among them for a blessing upon their attempts, I dismissed them to their work. Numbers of them, both men and women, seemed to offer themselves willingly to this service; and some appeared affectionately concerned that God might go with them, and begin their little town for them; that by his blessing it might be a place comfortable for them and theirs, with regard both to procuring the necessaries of life and to attending on the worship of God.

_April 5._—“Catechised in the evening. There appeared to be some affection and fervent engagement in divine service through the assembly in general; especially toward the conclusion of my discourse. After public worship a number of those who I have reason to think are truly religious came to my house, and seemed eager for some farther entertainment upon divine things. While I was conversing with them about their scriptural exercises; observing to them, that God’s work in the hearts of all his children was, for substance the same; and that their trials and temptations were also alike; and showing the obligations such were under to love one another in a peculiar manner, they seemed to be melted into tenderness and affection toward each other. I thought that this particular token of their being the disciples of Christ, viz. of their having love one toward another, had scarcely ever appeared more evident than at this time.

_Lord’s day, April 6._—“Preached from Matt. 7:21-23. There were considerable effects of the word visible in the audience, and such as were very desirable; an earnest attention, a great solemnity, many tears and heavy sighs, which were modestly suppressed in a considerable measure, and appeared unaffected and without any indecent commotion of the passions. Numbers of the religious people were put upon serious and close examination of their spiritual state by hearing that ‘not every one that saith to Christ, Lord, Lord, shall enter into his kingdom.’ Some expressed fears lest they had deceived themselves, and taken up a false hope, because they found they had done so little of the will of his Father who is in heaven.

“There was one man brought under a very great and pressing concern for his soul; which appeared more especially after his retirement from public worship. That which he says gave him his great uneasiness was, not so much any particular sin, as that he had never done the will of God at all, but had sinned continually, and so had no claim to the kingdom of heaven. In the afternoon I opened to them the discipline of Christ in his Church, and the method in which offenders are to be dealt with; at which time the religious people were much affected; especially when they heard that the offender, continuing obstinate, must finally be esteemed and treated ‘as an heathen man,’ as a pagan, who has no part nor lot among God’s visible people. Of this they seemed to have the most awful apprehensions; a state of heathenism, out of which they were so lately brought, appearing very dreadful to them.

“After public worship I visited several houses to see how they spent the remainder of the Sabbath, and to treat with them solemnly on the great concerns of their souls. The Lord seemed to smile upon my private endeavors, and to make these particular and personal addresses more effectual upon some than my public discourses.

_April 7._—“Discoursed to my people in the evening, from 1 Cor. 11:23-26. Endeavored to open to them the institution, nature, and ends of the Lord’s Supper, as well as of the qualifications and preparations necessary to the right participation of that ordinance. Numbers appeared much affected with the love of Christ, manifested in his making this provision for the comfort of his people, at a season when himself was just entering upon his sharpest sufferings.

_Lord’s day, April 20._—“Discoursed, both forenoon and afternoon, from Luke, 24; explaining most of the chapter, and making remarks upon it. There was a desirable attention in the audience; though there was not so much appearance of affection and tenderness among them as had been usual. Our meeting was very full; there being sundry strangers present who had never been with us before.

“In the evening catechised. My people answered the questions proposed to them readily and distinctly; and I could perceive that they advanced in their knowledge of the principles of Christianity. There appeared an affectionate melting in the assembly at this time. Several, who I trust are truly religious, were refreshed and quickened, and seemed by their discourse and behavior after public worship to have their ‘hearts knit together in love.’ This was a sweet and blessed season, like many others with which my poor people have been favored in months past. God has caused _this little fleece_ to be repeatedly wet with the blessed dew of his divine grace, while all the earth around has been comparatively dry.

_April 25._—“Set apart this day, as preparatory to the administration of the Lord’s Supper, for solemn fasting and prayer. The design was to implore the blessing of God upon our renewing covenant with him, and with one another, to walk together in the fear of God, in love and Christian fellowship, and to entreat that his presence might be with us in our designed approach to his table; as well as to humble ourselves before God on account of the apparent withdrawment, at least in a measure, of that blessed influence which has been so prevalent upon persons of all ages among us; as also on account of the rising appearance of carelessness, vanity, and vice, among some who once appeared to be touched and affected with divine truth, and brought to some sensibility of their miserable and perishing state by nature. It was also designed that we might importunately pray for the peaceable settlement of the Indians together in a body; that they might be a commodious congregation for the worship of God; and that God would defeat all the attempts that were, or might be, made against that pious design.[G]

Footnote G:

There was at this time a terrible clamor raised against the Indians in
various places in the country, and insinuations as though I was
training them up to cut people’s throats. Numbers wished to have them
banished from these parts, and some gave out great words in order to
fright and deter them from settling upon the best and most convenient
tract of their own lands; threatening to trouble them in the law;
pretending a claim to these lands themselves, although never purchased
of the Indians.

“The solemnity was observed and seriously attended, not only by those who proposed to commune at the Lord’s table, but by the whole congregation. In the former part of the day I endeavored to open to my people the nature and design of a fast, as I had attempted more briefly to do before, and to instruct them in the duties of such a solemnity. In the afternoon I insisted on the special reasons there were for our engaging in these solemn exercises at this time; both in regard to the need we stood in of divine assistance, in order to a due preparation for that sacred ordinance, upon which some of us were proposing, with leave of divine Providence, speedily to attend; and also in respect of the manifest decline of God’s work here, as to the effectual conviction and conversion of sinners; there having been few of late deeply awakened out of a state of security. The worship of God was attended with great solemnity and reverence, with much tenderness and many tears, by those who appeared to be truly religious; and there was some appearance of divine power upon those who had been awakened some time before, and who were still under concern.

“After repeated prayer, and attendance upon the word of God, I proposed to the religious people, with as much brevity and plainness as I could, the substance of the doctrine of the christian faith, as I had formerly done; and had their renewed cheerful assent to it. I then led them to a solemn renewal of their covenant, wherein they had explicitly and publicly given up themselves to God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, avouching him to be their God; and at the same time renouncing their heathenish vanities, their idolatrous and superstitious practices; solemnly engaging to take the Word of God, so far as it was or might be made known to them, for the rule of their lives; promising to walk together in love, to watch over themselves and one another, to lead lives of seriousness and devotion, and to discharge the relative duties incumbent on them respectively, &c. This solemn transaction was attended with much gravity and seriousness; and at the same time with the utmost readiness, freedom and cheerfulness; and a religious union and harmony of soul seemed to crown the whole solemnity. I could not but think in the evening, that there had been manifest tokens of the divine presence with us in all the several services of the day; though it was also manifest that there was not that concern among Christless souls which has often appeared here.

_April 26._—“Toward noon prayed with a dying child, and gave a word of exhortation to the bystanders to prepare for death; which seemed to take effect upon some. In the afternoon discoursed to my people from Matthew, 26:26-30; of the author, the nature, and designs of the Lord’s supper; and endeavored to point out the worthy receivers of that ordinance. The religious people were affected, and even melted with divine truth,—with a view of the dying love of Christ. Several others, who had been for some months under convictions of their perishing state, appeared now to be much moved with concern, and afresh engaged in seeking after an interest in Christ; although I cannot say that the word of God appeared so quick and powerful, so sharp and piercing to the assembly, as it had sometimes formerly done.

“In the evening I catechised those who were designed to partake of the Lord’s supper the next day, upon the institution, nature and end of that ordinance; and had abundant satisfaction respecting their doctrinal knowledge and fitness in that respect for an attendance upon it. They likewise appeared in general to have an affecting sense of the solemnity of this sacred ordinance, and to be humbled under a sense of their own unworthiness to approach to God in it; and to be earnestly concerned that they might be duly prepared for an attendance upon it. Their hearts were full of love one toward another, and that was the frame of mind they seemed concerned to maintain and bring to the Lord’s table with them. In the singing and prayer after catechising, there appeared an agreeable tenderness and melting among them; and such tokens of brotherly love and affection as would even constrain one to say, ‘Lord, it is good to be here;’ it is good to dwell where such an heavenly influence distills.

_Lord’s day, April 27._—“Preached from Tit. 2:14; ‘Who gave himself for us,’ &c. The word of God, at this time, was attended with some appearance of divine power upon the assembly; so that the attention and gravity of the audience were remarkable; and especially toward the conclusion of the exercise, many persons were much affected. Administered the Lord’s supper to _twenty three_ persons of the Indians, the number of the men and women being nearly equal; several others, to the number of _five_ or _six_, being now absent at the Forks of Delaware, who would otherwise have communed with us. The ordinance was attended with great solemnity, and with a most desirable tenderness and affection. It was remarkable that during the administration of the ordinance, especially in the distribution of the bread, they seemed to be affected in a most lively manner, as if Christ had been really crucified before them. The words of the institution, when repeated and enlarged upon in the season of the administration, seemed to meet with the same reception, to be entertained with the same free and full belief and affectionate engagement of soul, as if the Lord Jesus Christ himself had been present, and had personally spoken to them. The affections of the communicants, although considerably raised, were, notwithstanding, agreeably regulated and kept within proper bounds. So that there was a sweet, gentle, and affectionate melting, without any indecent or boisterous commotion of the passions.

“Having rested sometime after the administration of the Supper, being extremely tired with the necessary prolixity of the work, I walked from house to house, and conversed particularly with most of the communicants, and found they had been almost universally refreshed at the Lord’s table, ‘as with new wine.’ Never did I see such an appearance of Christian love among any people in all my life. It was so remarkable, that one might well have cried with an agreeable surprise, ‘Behold how they love one another.’ I think there could be no greater tokens of mutual affection among the people of God, in the early days of Christianity, than what now appeared here. The sight was so desirable, and so well becoming the gospel, that nothing less could be said of it than it was ‘the doing of the Lord,’ the genuine operation of Him, ‘who is Love.’

“Toward night discoursed again on the forementioned text, Tit. 2:14; and insisted on the immediate end and design of Christ’s death: viz. That he might redeem his people from all iniquity, &c. This appeared to be a season of divine power among us. The religious people were much refreshed, and seemed remarkably tender and affectionate, full of love, joy, and peace, and desirous of being completely ‘redeemed from all iniquity;’ so that some of them afterward told me that ‘they had never felt the like before.’ Convictions also appeared to be revived in many instances; and several persons were awakened whom I had never observed under any religious impressions before.

“Such was the influence which attended our assembly, and so unspeakably desirable the frame of mind which many enjoyed in divine service, that it seemed almost grievous to conclude the public worship. The congregation, when dismissed, although it was then almost dark, appeared loth to leave the place and employments which had been rendered so dear to them by the benefits enjoyed, while a blessed quickening influence distilled upon them. Upon the whole, I must say, I had great satisfaction relative to the administration of this ordinance in various respects. I have abundant reason to think, that those who came to the Lord’s table had a good degree of doctrinal knowledge of the nature and design of the ordinance, and that they acted with understanding in what they did.

“In the preparatory services I found, I may justly say, uncommon freedom in opening to their understandings and capacities, the covenant of grace, and in showing them the _nature_ of this ordinance. They were likewise thoroughly sensible that it was no more than a _sign_, and not the _real_ body and blood of Christ; that it was designed for the refreshment and edification of the _soul_, and not for the feasting of the _body_. They were also acquainted with the end of the ordinance, that they were therein called to commemorate the dying love of Christ.

“This competency of doctrinal knowledge, together with their grave and decent attendance upon the ordinance, their affectionate melting under it, and the sweet and Christian frame of mind which they discovered after it, gave me great satisfaction respecting my administration of it to them. O, what a sweet and blessed season was this! God himself, I am persuaded, was in the midst of his people. I doubt not but many, in the conclusion of the day, could say with their whole hearts, 'Verily, a day thus spent in God’s house is better than a thousand elsewhere.' There seemed to be but _one heart_ among the pious people. The sweet union, harmony and endearing love and tenderness subsisting among them was, I thought, the most lively emblem of the heavenly world which I had ever seen.

_April 28._—“Concluded the solemnity of the Lord’s supper with a discourse upon John, 14:15. ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments.’ At this time there appeared a very agreeable tenderness in the audience in general, but especially in the communicants. O, how free, how engaged and affectionate did these appear in the service of God! they seemed willing to have their ears bored to the door posts of God’s house, and to be his servants for ever.

“Observing numbers in this excellent frame, and the assembly in general affected, and that by a divine influence, I thought it proper to improve this advantageous season as Hezekiah did the desirable season of his great passover, 2 Chron. 31, in order to promote the blessed reformation begun among them; and to engage those that appeared serious and religious to persevere therein. Accordingly I proposed to them, that they should renewedly enter into covenant before God, that they would watch over themselves and one another, lest they should dishonor the name of Christ by falling into sinful and unbecoming practices; and especially that they would watch against the sin of drunkenness, ‘the sin that easily besets them,’ and the temptations leading thereto, as well as the appearance of evil in that respect. They cheerfully complied with the proposal, and explicitly joined in that covenant; whereupon I proceeded in the most solemn manner of which I was capable, to call God to witness respecting their sacred engagements, and reminded them of the greatness of the guilt they would contract to themselves in the violation of it, as well as observed to them that God would be a terrible witness against those, who should presume to do so in the great and notable day of the Lord. It was a season of amazing solemnity; and a divine awe appeared upon the face of the whole assembly in this transaction. Affectionate sobs, sighs and tears were now frequent in the audience; and I doubt not but that many silent cries were then sent up to the Fountain of grace for supplies of grace sufficient for the fulfilment of these solemn engagements.

_Lord’s day, May 4._—“My people being now removed to their lands, mentioned in my diary of March 24, where they were then and have since been making provision for a compact settlement, in order to their more convenient enjoyment of the Gospel and other means of instruction, as well as of the comforts of life; I this day visited them; being now obliged to board with an English family at some distance from them; and preached to them in the forenoon from Mark, 4:5. Endeavored to show them the reason there was to fear, lest many promising appearances and hopeful beginnings in religion might prove abortive, like the seed dropped upon stony places.

“In the afternoon discoursed upon Rom. 8:9. ‘Now, if any man have not the spirit of Christ, he is none of his.’ I have reason to think this discourse was peculiarly seasonable, and that it had a good effect upon some of the hearers. Spent some hours afterward in private conference with my people, and labored to regulate some things which I apprehended amiss among some of them.

_May 5._—“Visited my people again, and took care of their worldly concerns; giving them directions relating to their business. I daily discover more and more of what importance it is likely to be to their religious interests, that they become laborious and industrious, acquainted with the affairs of husbandry, and able in a good measure to raise the necessaries and comforts of life within themselves; for their present method of living greatly exposes them to temptations of various kinds.

_May 9._—“Preached from John, 5:40, in the open wilderness; the Indians having as yet no house for public worship in this place, nor scarcely any shelters for themselves. Divine truths made considerable impressions upon the audience, and it was a season of great solemnity, tenderness, and affection.

“This day received into communion the conjurer, murderer, &c. mentioned in my diary of August 8, 1745, and February 1, 1746, who appears to be such a remarkable instance of divine grace that I cannot omit to give some brief account of him here. He lived near, and sometimes attended my meeting at the Forks of Delaware, for more than a year; but was, like many others of them, extremely attached to strong drink, and seemed to be in no degree reformed by the means which I used with them for their instruction and conversion. At this time he likewise murdered a likely young Indian, which threw him into some kind of horror and desperation, so that he kept at a distance from me, and refused to hear me preach for several months together, until I had an opportunity of conversing freely with him, and giving him encouragement, that his sin might be forgiven, for Christ’s sake. After this he again attended my meeting sometimes.

“But that which was the worst of all his conduct, was his _conjuration_. He was one of those who are sometimes called powaws among the Indians; and, notwithstanding his frequent attendance upon my preaching, he still followed his old charms and juggling tricks, ‘giving out that himself was some great one, and to him they gave heed,’ supposing him to be possessed of great power. When I have instructed them respecting the miracles wrought by Christ in healing the sick, &c. and mentioned them as evidence of his divine mission, and the truths of his doctrine; they have quickly observed the wonders of that kind which this man had performed by his magic charms. Hence they had a high opinion of him and his superstitious notions; which seemed to be a fatal obstruction to some of them in regard to their receiving the Gospel. I had often thought that it would be a great favor to the design of evangelizing these Indians, if God would take that wretch out of the world; for I had scarcely any hope of his ever becoming good. But God, whose thoughts are not as man’s thoughts, has been pleased to take a much more desirable method with him; a method agreeable to his own merciful nature, and I trust advantageous to his own interest among the Indians, as well as effectual to the salvation of his poor soul. To God be the glory of it.

“The first genuine concern for his soul was excited by seeing my interpreter and his wife publicly profess Christ, at the Forks of Delaware, July 21, 1745; which so prevailed upon him, that with the invitation of an Indian who was a friend to Christianity, he followed me down to Crossweeksung, in the beginning of August, in order to hear me preach; and there continued for several weeks in the season of the most remarkable and powerful awakening among the Indians; at which time he was more effectually awakened, and brought under great concern for his soul. And then, he says, upon his ‘feeling the word of God in his heart,’ as he expresses it, his spirit of _conjuration_ left him entirely, so that he has had no more power of that nature since, than any other man living. He also declares, that he does not now so much as know how he used to charm and conjure, and that he could not now do any thing of that nature if he were ever so desirous of it.

“He continued under convictions of his sinful and perishing state, and a considerable degree of concern for his soul, all the fall and the former part of the winter past; but was not so deeply exercised until some time in January. Then the word of God took such hold upon him that he was brought into deep distress, and knew not what to do, nor where to turn himself. He then told me, that when he used to hear me preach from time to time in the fall of the year, my preaching pricked his heart, and made him very _uneasy_, but did not bring him to so great distress, because he still hoped he could do something for his own relief; but now, he said, I drove him up in such a sharp corner, that he had no way to turn, and could not avoid being in distress. He continued constantly under the heavy burden and pressure of a wounded spirit, until at length he was brought into the acute anguish and utmost agony of soul, mentioned in my Journal of February 1, which continued that night and part of the next day. After this he was brought to the utmost calmness and composure of mind; his trembling and heavy burden were removed; and he appeared perfectly sedate, although he had to his apprehensions scarcely any hope of salvation.

“I observed him to appear remarkably composed; and therefore asked him how he did? He replied, ‘It is done, it is done, it is all done now.’ I asked him what he meant? He answered, ‘I can never do any more to save myself; it is all done for ever. I can do no more.’ I queried with him, whether he could not do a little more, rather than go to hell? He replied, ‘my heart is dead. I can never help myself.’ I asked him what he thought would become of him then? He answered, ‘I must go to hell.’ I asked him if he thought it was right that God should send him to hell? He replied, ‘O it is right. The devil has been in me ever since I was born.’ I asked him if he felt this when he was in such great distress the evening before? He answered, ‘No; I did not then think it was right. I thought God would send me to hell, and that I was then dropping into it; but my heart quarrelled with God, and would not say it was right he should send me there. But now I know it is right; for I have always served the devil; and my heart has no goodness in it now, but it is as bad as ever it was,’ &c. I thought I had scarcely ever seen any person more effectually brought off from a dependance upon his own contrivances and endeavors for salvation, or more apparently to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy, than this man did under these views of things.

“In this frame of mind he continued for several days, passing sentence of condemnation upon himself, and constantly owning that it would be right he should be damned, and that he expected this would be his portion for the greatness of his sins. Yet it was plain that he had a secret hope of mercy, though imperceptible to himself, which kept him not only from despair but from any pressing distress: so that, instead of being sad and dejected, his very countenance appeared pleasant and agreeable.

“While he was in this frame he several times asked me ‘When I would preach again?’ and seemed desirous to hear the word of God every day. I asked, ‘Why he wanted to hear me preach, seeing his heart was dead, and all was done; that he could never help himself, and expected that he must go to hell?’ He replied, ‘I love to hear you speak about Christ for all.’ I added, 'But what good will that do you, if you must go to hell at last?'—using now his own language with him, having before from time to time labored in the best manner I could to represent to him the excellency of Christ, his all-sufficiency and willingness to save lost sinners, and persons just in his case; although to no purpose, as to yielding him any special comfort. He answered, ‘I would have others come to Christ, if I must go to hell myself.’ It was remarkable, that he seemed to have a great love for the people of God; and nothing affected him so much as the thought of being separated from them. This seemed to be a very dreadful part of the hell to which he saw himself doomed. It was likewise remarkable, that in this season he was most diligent in the use of all the means for the soul’s salvation; although he had the clearest view of the inefficiency of means to afford him help. He would frequently say, that all he did signified nothing at all; and yet was never more constant in doing; attending secret and family prayer daily, and surprisingly diligent and attentive in hearing the word of God; so that he neither despaired of mercy, nor yet presumed to hope upon his own doings, but used means because appointed of God in order to salvation; and because he would wait upon God in his own way.