Chapter XXII: Bertrand's Stratagem

A night's sleep suffices to banish the fumes of wine and to restore calmness to our minds; a night of love often suffices to banish many illusions and to restore calmness to our senses. After the night at the inn with Madame Florimont, both Auguste and Bertrand reflected more coolly concerning their position: the latter had not for a moment failed to realize the fresh embarrassment in which Auguste had involved himself; and Auguste, who perhaps was already weary of playing pantomime with his young fellow-traveller, felt that he had made a fool of himself. But how was he to rid himself courteously of a lady who constantly said to him:

"I will go wherever you please, my friend."

After breakfast, Auguste asked if they could obtain a conveyance to take them to Lyon. To travel by post would be too expensive for people who wished to be economical, although no one would ever have suspected Auguste of such a wish, as he always insisted upon being entertained _en grand seigneur_.

A leather dealer, who owned a large two-seated cabriolet, offered to take the travellers with him. To be sure, he would take four days for the trip, because his business compelled him to stop at several places; but they were in no hurry, so they made a bargain with the leather dealer, who packed our three travellers in his vehicle.

Auguste and the emotional Adèle took their places on the back seat, Bertrand beside the tradesman on the front seat, and they started, drawn by a single horse, large enough for two, but with no apparent disposition to take the bit in his teeth.

Bertrand chatted with the driver, a tall fellow of twenty-eight or thirty years, who passed a large part of his life on his wagon, was better acquainted with taverns than with his own house, where he spent less than three months of the year, and declared that not a maid servant within a radius of thirty leagues had been unkind to him.

Auguste looked at the landscape and tried to make Madame Florimont talk.

"What do you think of this view?"

"Why, it's very ugly."

"What? That wooded slope, the valley on the left, with the stream flowing through it, and yonder pretty village in the background--you call that ugly?"

"Oh, no! it's very pretty."

"Would you like to travel?"

"I don't know, my friend."

"Have you never been away from Paris?"

"Oh, yes! I've been to Saint-Cloud and Passy."

"Would you like to go to Italy?"

"If it would gratify you."

"But what about the gentleman who's expecting you at Lyon?"

"Oh! I don't know whether he's waiting for me!"

"I may be compelled by circumstances to leave you."

"Oh! but I won't leave you, my friend."

"But suppose I should return to Paris?"

"I would go there."

"But what about your husband, who beat you?"

"Oh! I wouldn't tell him that I had returned."

"I see that I shan't be able to get rid of this woman!" said Auguste to himself. "Infernal diligence! That great hood, those knees against mine, that night on the road--all those things go to one's head. You imagine that you have made a glorious conquest; you fancy yourself in love, and for twenty-four hours you are! But after that! Mon Dieu! what a mess I have got into!"

Bertrand, who had overheard a part of the conversation between Adèle and Auguste, leaned over to the latter and said in his ear:

"I beg pardon, lieutenant, but this woman seems to me as stupid as a pot."

"So she seems to me, Bertrand."

"Are we going round the world with a doll like that?"

"I'm afraid so, my friend. She has determined never to leave me."

"I promise you that I will make her change her mind."

Bertrand said no more. They drove for some time in silence. From time to time the leather dealer cast a furtive, lady-killer's glance at Madame Florimont, and said to Bertrand whenever they passed through a hamlet or village:

"I once knew a pretty woman here. I had an intrigue here. I set people's tongues to wagging here."

"It seems that you're a sad rake."

"Oh, yes! I'm well known in this region."

At nightfall they stopped at a small place where they were to pass the night. They alighted at a wretched inn; the leather dealer went out to attend to some business, and after supper Auguste, thinking that the most sensible course to pursue with the emotional Adèle was to go to bed, withdrew with her, leaving Bertrand with his pipe at a table.

The tradesman returned in due time and Bertrand invited him to drink; he was not the man to decline such an invitation. He was almost as accomplished a drinker as Schtrack; after the second bottle they became confidential and Bertrand said to his companion:

"You look to me like a good fellow."

"You're very kind!"

"You might do us a great favor, my lieutenant and me."

"If it won't cost me anything, I'm your man."

"It not only won't cost you anything, but I'll give you fifty crowns bonus."

"Say it quick, then!"

"Judging from all that you've told me, you're not a foe of the fair sex?"

"On the contrary, I am their dearest friend."

"What do you think of that young woman who's travelling with us?"

"Why----"

"Come, speak frankly."

"Faith, I think she's very fine! she's got a pair of eyes that she knows how to work mighty well!"

"So she takes your eye, does she?"

"To be sure, she would if she was free; but you understand I can't think of----"

"Well, listen to me; the very greatest service you could do us would be to rob us of that beauty."

"You're joking, aren't you?"

"No; this is how it is: my master is a reckless fellow; he is travelling to learn how to be prudent, and you can understand that the way to do that isn't to travel with a little woman who, as you say, works her eyes so well that she makes him long for her. But I must have common sense for him: now the best thing that I can see to do is to separate him from this highway heroine, who, I am sure, pretends to be devoted to him only because she thinks he's rich."

"So she didn't come from Paris with you?"

"Oh, no! it was a fine chance encounter we had in the Lyon diligence. It would have done a hundred times better to upset us than to contain that princess! But you, who are always on the road--she won't be in your way in your wagon; besides, I fancied that I saw you looking her over like a connoisseur."

"I don't say no; but how do you expect----"

"You're a fine man, an attractive-looking fellow!"

"I certainly am not very ill-looking," said the tradesman, complacently viewing himself in a fragment of looking-glass on the chimney-piece.

"To-morrow, on the road," said Bertrand, "I will take pains to refer to the fact that we are hard up, while you, on the contrary, must jingle your coins. When we reach the place where we are to sleep, my lieutenant will pretend to be sick and say that he can't continue his journey. The next morning he will stay in bed; then you must seize the opportunity for a tête-à-tête, make your declaration, and propose to the young woman to take her off before we wake up. She'll accept--I'd bet my moustaches if I still had 'em."

"Agreed, my fine fellow--and the fifty crowns?"

"I'll pay them to you when I see you ready to start. You can go to Lyon; we won't go there, so as not to run into you."

"Shake; I'll abduct your charmer; and, as you say, she probably won't resist, because, although your companion's good-looking enough, he hasn't this figure, this build--in fact, this fascinating air; ain't that so?"

"I should say so! you remind me of a drum-major."

The bargain being made, Bertrand and the tradesman, after drinking a glass to the success of their scheme, went to bed.

The next day they resumed their journey. Auguste seemed more bored than ever by Madame Florimont's company; he dared not tell Bertrand so; but the ex-corporal observed the young man's ill-concealed yawns and stifled sighs while the emotional Adèle continued to tell him that it would be her delight to stay with him always. After some time Auguste gave way to the drowsiness that overpowered him. He fell asleep on the back seat of the vehicle, beside the young woman, who said not another word. Bertrand, pretending to think that she too was asleep, said to the driver in an undertone:

"Poor fellow! if only sleep might put an end to his anxieties and pay his debts!"

"Is he in debt, do you say?"

"That is why we left Paris; and I am very much afraid that we shall be pursued by creditors at Lyon."

"That's a pity! A business like mine is the thing! it always goes right on. Leather will never go out of fashion--it's like bread."

"It is precisely the same thing. So you are well off, are you?"

"Why, I am very comfortable."

Bertrand noticed that Madame Florimont raised her hood in order to see the tradesman better; whereupon he said nothing more, but looked off into the country so as not to interfere with his neighbor's ogling of the young woman, which she received with a smile, probably to gratify him.

They reached the place where they were to pass the night. Bertrand had not as yet mentioned his project to Auguste, but chance seemed to favor him. On leaving the wagon, the young man was attacked by a violent sick-headache, and immediately upon entering the inn went to his room to lie down, telling Madame Florimont to order whatever she pleased.

Bertrand made an excuse for leaving the tradesman alone with their travelling companion; he went out to walk and did not return until very late. The tradesman was alone, admiring himself in a mirror.

"Well?" queried Bertrand.

"You can pay me the fifty crowns."

"Do you mean it?"

"It's all arranged: at daybreak to-morrow I abduct your charmer; she is to tell your companion that he can lie abed as we don't start till ten o'clock."

"Morbleu! a victory wouldn't give me more pleasure! My poor master! I would like so much to see him become more reasonable! to see him get over his nonsense! I'll treat to a bottle--two bottles over and above the bargain."

"I accept."

"So she didn't make any very great resistance?"

"I should say not! I had taken her fancy; besides, she told me that her sense of delicacy wouldn't allow her to travel with a man who is in debt."

In his delight, Bertrand ordered several more corks drawn; he paid the tradesman his fifty crowns on the spot, and he did not go to bed, so that he might, unseen, witness Madame Florimont's departure. She rose at daybreak, without waking Auguste, and drove off with the leather dealer.

"A pleasant journey!" exclaimed Bertrand as he looked after the wagon. When it was out of sight he ran to Auguste's room and woke him, crying:

"Victory, lieutenant! I have driven the enemy from the citadel!"

"What's the matter?" inquired Auguste, rubbing his eyes.

"The matter is that I have relieved you of your emotional travelling-companion, who went off this morning with our leather man."

"Is it possible, Bertrand?"

"Why, yes, monsieur; she's gone, I tell you. You are not inclined to run after her, I trust?"

"God forbid!--So she has ceased to love me?"

"As if that adventuress ever loved you! She goes with the first comer who looks to be rich! And yet that's the woman, monsieur, that you had on your hands! You fall in love in a diligence, and crac! you scrape acquaintance, and--Look you, lieutenant, I'm no lady-killer myself, but it seems to me that a man ought to say these two things to himself in a public conveyance: 'If this woman is respectable, she won't listen to me; if she isn't, it isn't worth while to speak to her.'"

"You are right, a hundred times right! But this folly shall be my last."

"Do you know that counting everything--conveyance, presents and board bills--your intrigue has cost us at least five hundred francs? A pretty beginning for a man who is going to try to make a fortune!"

"Oh! you'll see, Bertrand, after this, that I'll be so good----"

"God grant it! But to avoid meeting that lady again, my advice is that we don't go to Lyon."

"Agreed; let's push on to Italy at once. Beneath the beautiful sky that saw the birth of Virgil and Tibullus, in the fatherland of all the arts--there will I, impelled by a noble emulation, turn my talents to account and try to acquire additional ones. Perhaps fortune will smile on my efforts! Music, painting, offer resources which I must not blush to employ! We will spend very little and I will try to earn a great deal; for, in all lands, the higher prices one charges, the more merit is attributed to one. And then, when I have saved a neat little sum, we will return to France to enjoy the fruit of my labors."

"That's the talk, lieutenant; and, more fortunate than the great Turenne, who was killed on the battlefield, we will enjoy the blessings of peace after the war."