Chapter II: Part 2

But, it must that I begin. I am a gentleman, and my goods are in the public rentes,[12] and a chateau with a handsome propriety on the bank of the Loire, which I lend to a merchant English, who pay me very well in London for my expenses. Very well. I like the peace, nevertheless that I was force, at other time, to go to war with Napoleon. But it is passed. So I come to Paris in my proper post-chaise, where I selled him, and hire one, for almost nothing at all, for bring me to Calais all alone, because I will not bring my valet to speak French here where all the world is ignorant.

[12] Rentes--public funds.

The morning following I get upon the vapouring boat to walk so far as Douvres. It was fine day--and, after I am recover myself of a malady of the sea, I walk myself about the shep, and I see a great mechanic of wood, with iron wheel, and thing to push up inside, and handle to turn. It seemed to be ingenuous, and proper to hoist great burdens. They use it for shoving the timber, what come down of the vessel, into the place; and they tell me it was call "Jaques in the _box;_" and I was very much please with the invention so novel.

Very well. I go again promenade upon the board of the vessel, and I look at the compass, and little boy sailor come and sit him down, and begin to chatter like the little monkey. Then the man what turns a wheel about and about laugh, and say, "Very well, Jaques;" but I not understand one word the little fellow say. So I make inquire, and they tell me he was "_Box_ the compass." I was surprise, but I tell myself, "Well, never mind;" and so we arrived at Douvres. I find myself enough well in the hotel, but as there has been no table d'hote, I ask for some dinner, and it was long time I wait; and so I walk myself to the customary house, and give the key to my portmanteau to the Douaniers, or excisemen, as you call, for them to see as I had not no snuggles in my equipage. Very well--I return at my hotel, and meet one of the waiters, who tell me, (after I stand little moment to the door to see the world what pass by upon a coach at the instant,) "Sir," he say, "your dinner is ready."--"Very well," I make response, "where, was it?"--"This way, sir," he answer; "I have put it in a _box_ in the café room."--"Well--never mind," I say to myself; "when a man himself finds in a stranger country, he must be never surprised. '_Nil admirari._' Keep the eyes opened, and stare at nothing at all."

I found my dinner only there there,[13] because I was so soon come from France; but, I learn, another sort of the box was a partition and table particular in a saloon, and I keep there when I eated some good sole fritted, and some not cooked mutton cutlet; and a gentleman what was put in another _box_, perhaps Mr. Mathew, because nobody not can know him twice, like a cameleon he is, call for the "pepper _box_." Very well. I take a cup of coffee, and then all my hards and portmanteau come with a wheelbarrow; and, because it was my intention to voyage up at London with the coach, and I find my many little things was not convenient, I ask the waiter where I might buy a night sack, or get them tie up all together in a burden. He was well attentive at my cares, and responded, that he shall find me a _box_ to put them all into. Well, I say nothing to all but "Yes," for fear to discover my ignorance; so he bring the little _box_ for the clothes and things into the great _box_ what I was put into; and he did my affairs in it very well. Then I ask him for some spectacle in the town, and he send boot-boy with me so far as the Theatre, and I go in to pay. It was shabby poor little place, but the man what set to have the money, when I say "how much," asked me if I would not go into the _boxes_. "Very well," I say, "never mind--oh yes--to be sure;" and I find very soon the _box_ was the loge, same thing. I had not understanding sufficient in your tongue then to comprehend all what I hear--only one poor maiger doctor, what had been to give his physic too long time at a cavalier old man, was condemned to swallow up a whole _box_ of his proper pills. "Very well," I say, "that must be egregious. It is cannot be possible;" but they bring little a _box_, not more grand nor my thumb. It seem to be to me very ridiculous; so I returned to my hotel at despair how I could possibility learn a language what meant so many differents in one word.

[13] Là là, signifies passable, indifferent.

I found the same waiter, who, so soon as I come in, tell me, "Sir, did you not say that you would go by the coach to-morrow morning?" I replied, "Yes--and I have bespeaked a seat out of the side, because I shall wish to amuse myself with the country, and you have no cabriolets[14] in your coaches."--"Sir," he say, very polite, "if you shall allow me, I would recommend you the _box_, and then the coachman shall tell every thing."--"Very well," I reply, "yes--to be sure--I shall have a _box_ then--yes;" and then I demanded a fire into my chamber, because I think myself enrhumed upon the sea, and the maid of the chamber come to send me in bed;--but I say, "No so quick, if you please; I will write to some friend how I find myself in England. Very well--here is the fire, but perhaps it shall go out before I have finish." She was pretty laughing young woman, and say, "Oh no, sir, if you pull the bell, the porter, who sit up all night, will come, unless you like to attend to it yourself, and then you will find the coal-_box_ in the closet."--Well--I say nothing but "Yes--oh yes." But, when she is gone, I look direct into the closet, and see a _box_ not no more like none of the other _boxes_ what I see all day than nothing.

[14] The cabriolet is the front part of the old French
diligence, with a hood and apron, holding three persons,
including the guard, or "conducteur."

Well--I write at my friends, and then I tumble about when I wake, and dream in the sleep what should possible be the description of the _box_ what I must be put in to-morrow for my voyage.

In the morning, it was very fine time, I see the coach at the door, and I walk all round before they bring the horses; but I see nothing what they can call _boxes_, only the same kind as what my little business was put into. So I ask for the post of letters at a little boots boy, who showed me by the Quay, and tell me, pointing by his finger at a window--"There see, there was the letter _box_," and I perceive a crevice. "Very well--all _box_ again to-day," I say, and give my letter to the master of postes, and go away again at the coach, where I very soon find out what was coach-_box_, and mount myself upon it. Then come the coachman, habilitated like the gentleman, and the first word he say was--"Keephorses! Bring my _box_-coat!" and he push up a grand capote with many scrapes.

"But--never mind," I say; "I shall see all the _boxes_ in time." So he kick his leg upon the board, and cry "cheat!" and we are out into the country in lesser than one minute, and roll at so grand pace, what I have had fear we will be reversed. But after little times, I take courage, and we begin to entertain together: but I hear one of the wheels cry squeak, so I tell him, "Sir--one of the wheel would be greased;" then he make reply, nonchalancely, "Oh--it is nothing but one of the _boxes_ what is too tight." But it is very long time after as I learn that wheel a _box_ was pipe of iron what go turn round upon the axle.

Well--we fly away at the paces of charge. I see great castles, many; then come a pretty house of country well ornamented, and I make inquire what it should be. "Oh;" responsed he, "I not remember the gentleman's name, but it is what we call a snug country _box_."

Then I feel myself abymed at despair, and begin to suspect that he amused himself. But, still I tell myself, "Well--never mind; we shall see." And then after sometimes, there come another house, all alone in a forest, not ornated at all. "What, how you call that?" I demand of him.--"Oh!" he responded again, "That is a shooting _box_ of Lord Killfots."--"Oh!" I cry at last out, "that is little too strong;" but he hoisted his shoulders and say nothing. Well, we come at a house of country, ancient, with the trees cut like some peacocks, and I demand, "What you call these trees?"--"_Box_, sir," he tell me. "Devil is in the _box_," I say at myself. "But--never mind; we shall see." So I myself refreshed with a pinch of snuff and offer him, and he take very polite, and remark upon an instant, "That is a very handsome _box_ of yours, sir."

"Morbleu!" I exclaimed with inadvertencyness, but I stop myself. Then he pull out his snuff-_box_, and I take a pinch, because I like at home to be sociable when I am out at voyages, and not show some pride with inferior. It was of wood beautiful with turnings, and colour of yellowish. So I was pleased to admire very much, and inquire the name of the wood, and again he say, "_Box_, Sir!" Well--I hold myself with patience, but it was difficilly; and we keep with great gallop till we come at a great crowd of the people. Then I say, "What for all so large concourse?" "Oh!" he response again, "there is one grand _boxing_ match--a battle here to-day."--"Peste!" I tell myself, "a battle of _boxes_! Well, never mind! I hope it can be a combat at the outrance, and they all shall destroy one another, for I am fatigued."

Well--we arrive at an hotel, very superb, all as it ought, and I demand a morsel to refresh myself. I go into a salon, but before I finish, great noise come into the passage, and I pull the bell's rope to demand why so great tapage? The waiter tell me, and he laugh at same time, but very civil no less, "Oh, sir, it is only two of the women what quarrel, and one has given another a _box_ on the ear."

Well--I go back on the coach-box, but I look, as I pass, at all the women ear, for the _box_; but not none I see. "Well," I tell myself once more, "never mind, we shall see;" and we drive on very passable and agreeable times till we approached ourselves near London; but then come one another coach of the opposition to pass by, and the coachman say, "No, my boy, it shan't do!" and then he whip his horses, and made some traverse upon the road, and tell to me, all the times, a long explication what the other coachman have done otherwhiles, and finish not till we stop, and the coach of opposition come behind him in one narrow place. Well--then he twist himself round, and, with full voice, cry himself out at the another man, who was so angry as himself, "I'll tell you what, my hearty! If you comes some more of your gammon at me, I shan't stand, and you shall yourself find in the wrong _box_." It was not for many weeks after as I find out the wrong _box_ meaning.

Well--we get at London, at the coaches office, and I unlightened from my seat, and go at the bureau for pay my passage, and gentleman very politely demanded if I had some friend at London. I converse with him very little time in voyaging, because he was in the interior; but I perceive he is real gentleman. So, I say, "No, sir, I am stranger." Then he very honestly recommend me at an hotel, very proper, and tell me, "Sir, because I have some affairs at the Banque, I must sleep in the city this night; but to-morrow I shall come at the hotel, where you shall find some good attentions if you make the use of my name." "Very well," I tell myself, "this is best." So we exchange the cards, and I have hackney coach to come at my hotel, where they say, "No room, sir,--very sorry,--no room." But I demand to stop the moment, and produce the card what I could not read before, in the movements of the coach with the darkness. The master of the hotel take it from my hand, and become very polite at the instant, and whisper at the ear of some waiters, and these come at me, and say, "Oh yes, sir. I know Mr. _Box_ very well. Worthy gentleman, Mr. Box.--Very proud to incommode any friend of Mr. Box--pray inlight yourself, and walk in my house." So I go in, and find myself very proper, and soon come so as if I was in my own particular chamber; and Mr. Box come next day, and I find very soon that he was the _right_ Box, and not the _wrong_ box.--Ha, ha!--You shall excuse my badinage,--eh? But never mind--I am going at Leicestershire to see the foxes hunting, and perhaps will get upon a coach-box in the spring, and go at Edinburgh; but I have fear I cannot come at your "Noctes," because I have not learn yet to eat so great supper. I always read what they speak there twice over, except what Mons. Le "Shepherd" say, what I read three time; but never could comprehend exactly what he say, though I discern some time the grand idea, what walk in darkness almost "visible," as your divine Milton say. I am particular fond of the poetry. I read three books of the "Paradise Lost" to Mr. Box, but he not hear me no more--he pronounce me perfect.

After one such compliment, it would be almost the same as ask you for another, if I shall make apology in case I have not find the correct ideotism of your language in this letter; so I shall not make none at all,--only throw myself at your mercy, like a great critic. But never mind,--we shall see. If you take this letter as it ought, I shall not promise if I would not write you one other some time.

I conclude by presenting at you my compliments very respectful. I am sorry for your gout and crutchedness, and hope you shall miss them in the spring.

I have the honour of subscribe myself,

Sir,
Your very humble and
Much obedient servant,
LOUIS LE CHEMINANT.

P.S.--Ha, ha!--It is very droll!--I tell my valet, we go at Leicestershire for the hunting fox.--Very well.--So soon as I finish this letter, he come and demand what I shall leave behind in orders for some presents, to give what people will come at my lodgments for Christmas _Boxes_.

* * * * *

RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.

* * * * *

ANTIQUITY OF THE ALDERMAN.

Alderman is derived from the Saxon word _ealderman_, that is a senior or _alderman_, which by degrees came to stand for persons of great distinction, because such were chosen to discharge the highest offices, being those whose long experience rendered them most capable, and whose birth and fortunes made them most conspicuous; and as they were generally entrusted with the government of the counties, instead of saying the governor, it was said the _ealderman_ of such a county. While the heptarchy lasted, these offices were only during the king's pleasure; at last they became during life. After the Danes were settled in England, the title of _ealderman_ was changed into that of _earl_, and the Normans introduced that of _count_, which, though different in its original signification, meant, however, the same dignity. There were several sorts of _ealdermen_; some were properly only governors of a province or county, others were owners of their province, holding it as a fee of the crown. These ealdermen, or earls, were honoured with titles of _reguli subreguli_, _principes_, _patricii_, and some times _rex_. Those who were only governors, had the title of ealderman of such a county, or sometimes in Latin by the term _consul_. The first administered justice in their own name, and appropriated to their own use all the revenues and profits of their respective counties. The last administered justice in the king's name and had only part of the profits assigned them. A third sort of ealdermen were those, who upon account of their high birth, bore the title, without any authority, out of which rank the governors were generally chosen. There were also inferior ealdermen in cities or boroughs, who administered justice in the king's name, and were dependent on the great ealdermen, or earls, which by the name of _alderman_ still continues among us to those inferior officers, while they are called earls only. The office of the ealderman was wholly civil, and had nothing to do with either military or ecclesiastical affairs. What power each of them had, it is not easy to determine; but they were all obliged to have some knowledge of the law. In the Saxon times, the bishop and ealderman sat together to try causes; the one proceeded by the canons, the other by the common law. Part of the ealderman's jurisdiction was to examine the arms, and to raise the militia within such a district, in order to suppress riot and execute the sentence of a court of justice. He had likewise the cognizance of house-breaking, robbing, &c. Nor was it lawful for any person to move from one place to another without a certificate from the ealderman.

HALBERT H.

* * * * *

THE GATHERER.

A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
SHAKSPEARE.

* * * * *

HANDSOME BAR-MAIDS.

The following advertisement appeared in a New Orlean's journal:--Wanted, two handsome ladies to assist in two bar-rooms, and to whom liberal wages will be given. Beauties from New York, Charlestown, or Savannah will be preferred. A well-shaped, well-looking black lady would meet encouragement as an under bar-maid. Due attention will be paid to applicants, at No. 60, Camp-street.

W.G.C.

* * * * *

FRENCH MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS.

Matrimonial advertisements being standard articles in our own newspapers at this period, as a pleasantry they may be compared with the following, extracted from various French journals:--

Une demoiselle bien née et aimable, ayant 120,000 francs de bien, desire épouser un homme âgé et riche.

Une demoiselle de 24 ans, jolie et d'une education distinguée, ayant 40,000 francs comptant, et par la suite 200,000 francs, desire épouser un jeune homme aimable, et ayant de la fortune.

Une demoiselle de 19 ans, sans fortune, mais jolie, aimable, et bien élevée, desire épouser une homme âgé, et assez aisé, pour pouvoir faire quelque bien à sa mère.

J.G.R.

* * * * *

SONG.

Oh, silent was her grief and woe,
No tear her eye betray'd,
When Damon from his Anna fled,
And took some other maid!
But, ah, her bleeding heart did tell
What outward show denied;
For at that simple word, "Farewell,"
She bow'd her head and died!

J.B.

* * * * *

TO A YOUNG LADY WHO REQUESTED THE AUTHOR TO RESTORE A LOCK OF HAIR HE HAD TAKEN FROM HER.--_By E.S. Barrett._

By one only recompense can I be led
With this beautiful ringlet to part;
That should I restore you the _lock_ of your head,
You will give me the key of your heart.--_Atlas._

* * * * *

PARLIAMENTARY QUALIFICATIONS.

When the friends of the youngest Thelluson proposed making him a member of parliament, he said, "he did not understand exactly what it was to be in parliament, or what they meant by constituents in the country; but, if there was any necessity to go backwards and forwards _for their orders_, he could trot down as fast as any member of parliament in the kingdom."

* * * * *

CHANGING NAMES.

Thomas Knight, Esq. whose paternal name was Brodnax, which, very early in life, he changed for that of May, afterwards, by a statute of 9th Geo. II. took the name of Knight, which occasioned a facetious member of the house to get up, and propose "_a general bill_ to enable _that gentleman to take what name he pleased_."

* * * * *

TOUCHSTONE FOR THE TIMES.

Midas (we read) with wond'rous art of old,
Whate'er he touch'd, at once transformed to gold;
This modern statesmen can reverse with ease,
Touch them with gold, they'll turn to what you please.

* * * * *

GENIUS DEFINED.

A wit being asked what the word _genius_ meant, replied, "If you had it in you, you would not ask the question; but as you have not, you will never know what it means."

* * * * *

POOR SACK, (HANGED.)

Though Sack's misdeed is punished right,
It never was intended
That he should leave his office quite,
He only is _suspended_.

* * * * *

EPITAPH

_On a man of the name of Fish._

Worm's bait for fish; but here's a sudden change,
_Fish's_ bait for worms--is that not passing strange?
C.K.W.

* * * * *

LIMBIRD'S EDITION OF THE

_Following Novels are already Published:_

s. d.
Mackenzie's Man of Feeling 0 6
Paul and Virginia 0 6
The Castle of Otranto 0 6
Almoran and Hamet 0 6
Elizabeth, or the Exiles of Siberia 0 6
The Castles of Athlin and Dunbayne 0 6
Rasselas 0 8
The Old English Baron 0 8
Nature and Art 0 8
Goldsmith's Vicar of Wakefield 0 10
Sicilian Romance 1 0
The Man of the World 1 0
A Simple Story 1 4
Joseph Andrews 1 6
Humphry Clinker 1 8
The Romance of the Forest 1 8
The Italian 2 0
Zeluco, by Dr. Moore 2 6
Edward, by Dr. Moore 2 0
Roderick Random 2 6
The Mysteries of Udolpho 3 6

* * * * *

_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD, 143, Strand, (near Somerset House,) London, sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic; and by all Newsman and Booksellers._