Chapter XLII: Preface (4)

As this man’s character was known before you married him, can you have now any just reason of complaint, especially as you have not even the excuse of partiality to plead for his person? Recollect your own sordid selfish views; prevailing passion has been gratified, and you will pardon me, for questioning whether you would relinquish the advantages of your wealth, to be restored again to your liberty. Miss Aikin favours us with the following passage from one of Lucian’s dialogues. “Jupiter complains to Cupid, that though he had so many intrigues, he was never sincerely beloved: in order to be beloved, says Cupid, you must lay aside your ægis and your thunderbolts; you must curl and perfume your hair, place a garland on your head, and walk with a soft step, and assume a winning obsequious deportment.” “But replied Jupiter, I am not willing to resign so much of my dignity.” “Then, returns Cupid, leave off desiring to be loved.” He wanted to be Jupiter and Adonis at the same time: as you to be rich and happy. What right had you to expect that a miracle was to be performed in your favour? You knew well that the wretch to whom you have allied yourself, forsook humanity, and every genial feeling of an upright and honest heart, in the acquisition of that fortune, which you wished to possess, and have obtained, and which has since pampered the vices which disgust you. If he enumerates the spoils of his victories in ----, are they not covered with the blood of the vanquished? Did he give peace and happiness to the conquered? Did he accept the gifts of their princes, to use them for the comfort of those whose fathers, sons, or husbands, were massacred? Did he use his power to gain security and freedom to the regions of oppression and slavery? Did he endear the American name by examples of generosity? Did he return with the consciousness of his duty discharged to his country, and humanity to his fellow-creatures? If he was deficient in all this, what manner of right had you to expect tenderness and affection from him? You might with the same propriety look for the sensitive plant in a bed of nettles, and then complain you are stung by them. But you need not be upbraided for the folly of your election, since your own experience is but too severe a monitor. Debasement is the child of pride. All that remains for you now, is to render yourself as easy as possible; it is your duty to soothe the melancholy disposition your husband will be in (when alone) from a recollection of his crimes. Perhaps, by using your influence judiciously, you may yet have it in your power to humanize his passions, and refine his pleasures: but your good sense will tell you that there is so much pride interwoven in the heart of man, that his obstinacy will never condescend to receive any more than a hint from a wife. A husband is more likely to be praised into virtue, than rallied out of vice; and the most essential point in the art of leading others, is to conceal from them that they are led at all. If he reforms, and thinks the world gives him the credit of it, in a short time he will believe it proceeded from his own will and inclinations, which will insure his constancy in it. Every method is laudable on your part, to reclaim your husband, except an affectation of fondness for him: this would be a profanation of love: and a woman capable of such abject deceit, I should look upon as capable of the most determined baseness. If his crimes have hardened him, it will be in vain for you to attempt his reformation: but while you lament his depravity, you are left at liberty to spend your own time as you think proper. The gratifications of society, and the secrecy of solitude, are now equally in your power; please yourself and be content. If gaiety and dissipation are your pursuits, it cannot be denied that they are slight counterpoises for domestic felicity: but as the latter is entirely out of your reach, you should endeavour to make yourself easy. It is your own judgment alone that must lead you to obtaining that tranquility, which you may possibly find in the exulting joy of succouring virtue in distress, merit in indigence and obscurity; in wiping tears from the eyes of affliction, and in making the widow’s heart leap for joy. The serene complacency which springs in a good mind, on the exertion of benevolent principles, cannot be described; like the peace of God, it passeth knowledge. The poet says,

It is a joy possess’d by few indeed!
Dame Fortune has so many fools to feed,
She cannot oft afford, with all her store,
To yield her smiles, where nature smil’d before.
To sinking worth a cordial hand to lend;
With better Fortune to surprise a friend;
To chear the modest stranger’s lonely state;
Or snatch an orphan family from fate:
To do, possess’d with virtue’s noblest fire,
Such gen’rous deeds, as we with tears admire.

ARMSTRONG.

Thus you may evince the reality of your feelings, whilst it is in vain for others in less affluent circumstances to manifest their benevolence as they wish. Thus also, may you turn your husband’s (ill-acquired) perishable goods of fortune, into real blessings.

Wealth not only gilds the present moments as they pass; but like the sun, constantly supplies those rays which cherish all on whom they fall, and constitute an uninterrupted series of felicity in the bosom of that person from whom they proceed: whilst, on the contrary, the weight of poverty not only distresses a person for the present, but may perhaps prevent him from emerging into happiness, and others from participating of that benevolence, which warrants the means of exemplifying its sincerity. What must the poor man suffer, when the eye of friendship becomes inverted by his misfortunes in the world, and where he looks in vain around him for the benevolence of sympathy, and the consolations of human attachment!

I am, &c.

E. C.

* * * * *

LEVITIES.

At a late celebration of the marriages of two gentlemen, the company being large, respectable, and persons of considerable influence, a motion was made, and unanimously voted, That all Bachelors of the age of thirty, and upwards, should annually make an entertainment for the gentlemen of the place, unless prevented by intermediate marriage. What is very singular, a considerable part of the company were gentlemen of that description, who were unanimous in the resolution.

The next day a respectable company of ladies visited the two brides, and it is said, such of them as were _unmarried_ were highly pleased with the resolution of the preceding day.

* * * * *

+EPITAPH ON Mr. SCRIP.+

Here lies Timothy Scrip, late of ’Change Alley, Cornhill, Stockbroker. During the course of a long life he was diligent, industrious, and indefatigable in the exercise of his profession. He died in the seventieth year of his age, and _died well_, having left behind him a fortune of sixty thousand pounds sterling. It is however much to be regretted, that, _stocks being shut_ at the time of his death, he was not able to make a _transfer_, or carry any part of it to his _account_ in the other world. It was remarked of him, that he was always more solicitous to get the _turn of the day_ to himself, than to do a _good turn_ to his neighbour; and that though he frequently made bargains _for time_, he did not choose to risk any thing _for eternity_. He never gave money to the poor, though offered a very high _premium_, thinking it safer to make _ten per cent._ in the _English funds_, than _ten thousand_ in those of a _foreign country_. For these reasons, though he was always esteemed _a good man_ at Jonathan’s, it is much to be dreaded, that, at the _general settling day_, he will find himself _on the wrong side_, and be forced to _waddle, a lame duck, out of Elysium_.

* * * * *

FROM THE LATIN.

A haughty courtier, meeting in the streets
A scholar, him thus insolently greets:
Base men to take the wall I ne’er permit;
The scholar said, I do--and gave him it.

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* * * *

_For the +New-York Weekly Magazine+._

* * *

_THE SENTENCE._

* * *

[A continuation of the +Criminal+, from page 359.]

* * *

The sun, as usual, had bedecked the east with his golden beams, and the major part of mankind were pleased with the prospect. But the hero of this piece had enjoyed none of its enlivening rays, since he had been exiled from the world, until this morning: The gratings of the locks, and opening of the doors which secured the entrance into his cell, roused him to reflect that perhaps this was the day on which his fate was to be decided: his conjectures were right; he was to be tried this day by the laws of his country.

The attendants on the court had now penetrated into the place of his confinement, and the smith was set to work in loosening his fetters. Owing to the length of time, and their not being sufficiently large, the skin adhered thereto; and on their being knocked off, it accompanied them. Indeed, if there had been present one disinterested person, he would have inferred that a barbarous punishment, formerly practiced by eastern monarchs, had found entrance into a civilized country.

Being now freed from the galling irons, the culprit, safely guarded by the officers of justice, was in a few minutes conducted before her _impartial_ seat.

In due time, and in the usual form, did the stern dispenser of justice commence the solemn interrogatory of “_Guilty, or not Guilty?_” As the prisoner had duly weighed in his own breast the answer he was to make, in an audible voice he replied in the negative.

----Say not, misjudging mortal, that this unfortunate being was to blame in what he uttered, for truth dropped from his lips. True, indeed, his hand, guided by desperation, had done the deed. Despair, that haggard fiend, actuated every feeling; reason had deserted his breast--The man was entirely annihilated. At this juncture his hand had perpetrated what his heart would have abhorred to have thought on.--Call this not sophistry, ye, who hold to the mild precepts of christianity; consider it well, and then let unbiased reason have its full scope.

The council for the prosecution set forth in its blackest colours the dreadful nature of the crime of murder; and concluded with assuring the jury, that unless they brought the prisoner in guilty, they would act contrary to every law, human and divine.

----The prisoner had no one to speak for him----

The learned Judge proceeded to give his opinion, in which it can truly be said he acted not the _impartial_ part.

* * * * * * * * * *

A verdict was returned, agreeable to the wish of the court, which being done, sentence was passed in usual form, not forgetting, at the close, to entreat the compassion of the Deity. It seemed to breathe forth pity, but it was only the semblance; and the same Judge had pronounced it before this, times out of number.

L. B.

* * * * *

THOUGHTS AND MAXIMS.

The height of happiness, beyond all doubt, is to enjoy in the same person the delights of love, and the pleasures of friendship; and to find in that same person an affectionate wife and a faithful friend; no other felicity comparable to this, can the present life afford: But--let us say no more.

Love is a blind emotion, which does not always suppose merit in its object; yet it is far more flattering to a handsome woman, to be beloved by a man of merit, than to be adored by a fool.

Many women wish to appear lively because they thank it gives them an air of youth and wit; but, vivacity, which is not the result of these, only places folly in a more distinguished point of view.

* * * * *

NEW-YORK.

* * *

_MARRIED,_

On Sunday morning the 7th inst. at Staten-Island, by the Rev. Mr. Birkby, Mr. HENRY FROME, to Miss NANCY BYVANCK, both of that place.

Same time, by the Rev. Mr. Birkby, Mr. ABRAHAM MERRIL, to Miss POLLY LAKE, both of that place.

On Thursday evening the 11th inst. by the Rev. Mr. Miller, PETER HAWES, Esq. to Miss NANCY POST, both of this city.

Same evening, by the Rev. Dr. Linn, Mr. THOMAS WHITFIELD, to Miss EFFE VAN AULEN, both of this city.

On Thursday evening last, by the Rev. Mr. Kuypers, Mr. ELAM WILLIAMS, to Miss CATHARINE BOGERT, both of this city.

On Sunday last, at Jamaica. (L.I.) by the Rev. Mr. Kuypers, Mr. TYSON, of this city, to Miss LETTY RAPPELYE, of Cow-Neck.

On Monday evening last, by the Rev. Mr. Mason, Mr. CHARLES MILLER, to Miss ANN PATTERSON, both of this city.

* * * * *

_METEOROLOGICAL OBSERVATIONS._
_From the 14th to the 20th inst._

THERMOMETOR observed at 6, _A.M._ 3, _P.M._
Prevailing winds.
OBSERVATIONS on the WEATHER.

deg. deg. 6. 3. 6. 3.
100 100
May 14 46 55 nw. sw. clear lt. wd. cly. do.
15 47 59 s. do. clear calm do. h. wd.
16 50 57 n. se. cloudy lt. wd. do. do.
17 48 62 nw. s. clear l. wd. do. do.
18 53 67 s. do. rain lt. w. do. do. th. lg.
19 51 65 n. s. clear lt. wd. do. do.
20 51 55 e. se. rain lt. wd. do. do. ra.

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* * * *

AN EVENING MEDITATION.

By Miss Carter.

While night in solemn shade invests the pole,
And calm reflection sooths the pensive soul;
While reason, undisturb’d assorts her sway,
And life’s deceitful colours fade away;
To thee, All-conscious Presence! I devote,
This peaceful interval of sober thought:
Here all my better faculties confine,
And be this hour of sacred silence thine.

If, by the day’s illusive scenes misled,
My erring soul from virtue’s path has stray’d;
Snar’d by example, or by passion warm’d,
Some false delight my giddy sense has charm’d;
My calmer thoughts the wretched choice reprove,
And my best hopes are centred in thy love.
Depriv’d of this, can life one joy afford?
Its utmost boast a vain unmeaning word.

But ah! how oft my lawless passions rove,
And break these awful precepts I approve!
Pursue the fatal impulse I abhor,
And violate the virtue I adore!
Oft, when thy better Spirit’s guardian care
Warn’d my fond soul to shun the tempting snare,
My stubborn will his gentle aid repress’d,
And check’d the rising goodness in my breast:
Mad with vain hopes, or urg’d by false desires,
Still’d his soft voice, and quench’d his sacred fires.

With grief opprest, and prostrate in the dust,
Should’st thou condemn, I own thy sentence just.
But, oh, thy softer titles let me claim,
And plead my cause by Mercy’s gentle name.
Mercy! that wipes the penitential tear,
And dissipates the horrors of despair;
From righteous justice deals the vengeful hour,
Softens the dreadful attribute of pow’r,
Disarms the wrath of an offended God,
And seals my pardon in a Saviour’s blood!

All-powerful grace, exert thy gentle sway,
And teach my rebel passions to obey;
Lest lurking Folly, with insidious art,
Regain my volatile inconstant heart!
Shall every high resolve Devotion frames
Be only lifeless sounds and specious names?
O, rather, while thy hopes and fears controul,
In this still hour, each motion of my soul,
Secure its safety by a sudden doom,
And be the soft retreat of sleep my tomb!
Calm let me slumber in that dark repose,
Till the last morn its orient beam disclose:
Then, when the great archangel’s potent sound
Shall echo thro’ creation’s ample round,
Wak’d from the sleep of death, with joy survey
The op’ning splendors of eternal day!

[[Source:

Original: “Thoughts on Midnight” (1739) by Elizabeth Carter 1717-1806.
Possible source: “A Night Piece” by “Miss Carter”, #97 in _Elegant
Extracts, or, useful and entertaining pieces of poetry, selected
for the Improvement of Young Persons_, 1796 and earlier, ed.
Vicesimus Knox.]]

* * * * *
* * * *

ON MRS. MONTAGU.

By a Lady.

Why boast, O arrogant, imperious man,
Perfections so exclusive? are thy powers
Nearer approaching Deity? can’st thou solve
Questions which high Infinity propounds,
Soar nobler flights, or dare immortal deeds,
Unknown to woman, if she greatly dares
To use the powers assign’d her? Active strength,
The boast of animals, is clearly thine;
By this upheld, thou think’st the lesson rare
That female virtues teach; and poor the height
Which female wit obtains. The theme unfolds
Its ample maze, for Montagu befriends
The puzzled thought, and, blazing in the eye
Of boldest opposition, strait presents
The soul’s best energies, her keenest powers,
Clear, vigorous, enlighten’d; with firm wing
Swift she o’ertakes his Muse, which spread afar
Its brightest glories in the days of yore;
Lo! where she, mourning spurns the stedfast earth,
And, failing on the cloud of science, bears
The banner of Perfection.

* * * * *

+ODE to _SPRING_.+

Balmy breezy welcome wind!
Full on thy genial wings reclin’d,
Once again to these lov’d climes
Returns sweet Spring; returns and smiles,
Instant, as the goddess moves,
Resound the woods, exult the groves,
Laugh the vales, and down the hills
Bright flow the many--warbling rills.
Charming season! lovely Spring!
While all around some tribute bring!
Let me lay before thy shrine
These verses on a nymph divine.
Bloomy virgin! blush no more,
That sighing swains your charms adore;
Seldom flourishes conceal’d
The garden rose, when once reveal’d.
As the tender Crocus blows,
Amid stern winter’s dreary snows;
So your fragrant favours bless
Your fellow creatures in distress.
Like the Polyanthus too,
That blooms the circling seasons thro’;
Free from vanity and guile,
We always meet you with a smile.
Tho’ such sweets around you deal,
Like the meek Lily of the Vale,
For you shun what merit draws,
And seek to bless without applause.
Yet be sure, for fear of ill,
To wed some worthy man that will,
Florist-like, those virtues past,
Uphold and cherish to the last.

_NEW-YORK: +Printed by JOHN TIEBOUT, No. 358, Pearl-Street, for THOMAS BURLING, Jun. & Co.+ +Subscriptions+ for this +Magazine+ (at 6s. per quarter) are taken in at the Printing-Office, and at the Book-Store of Mr. J. FELLOWS, Pine-Street._

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THE NEW-YORK WEEKLY MAGAZINE;
or, Miscellaneous Repository.

+Vol. II.+] _Wednesday, May 31, 1797._ [+No. 100.+

INTENT OF RELIGION.

If there be any principle fully ascertained by religion, it is, that this life was intended for a state of trial and improvement to man. His preparation for a better world required a gradual purification, carried on by steps of progressive discipline. The situation here assigned him was such as to answer this design, by calling forth all his active powers, by giving full scope to his moral dispositions, and bringing to light his whole character. Hence it became proper, that difficulty and temptation should arise in the course of his duty; ample rewards were promised to virtue; but these rewards were left, as yet, in obscurity and distant prospect.

The impressions of sense were so balanced against immortality, as to allow a conflict between faith and sense,--between conscience and desire,--between present pleasure and future good. In this conflict the souls of good men are tried, improved and strengthened:--in this field their honours are reaped;--here are formed the capital virtues of fortitude, temperance, and self-denial;--moderation in prosperity, patience in adversity, submission to the will of God, charity and forgiveness to men amidst the various competitions of worldly interest.

* * * * *

HOPE.

Hope to the soul, when distracted by the confusions of the world, is as an anchor to a ship in a dark night, on an unknown coast, and amidst a boisterous ocean. In danger it gives security;--amidst general fluctuation it affords one fixed point of rest. It is the most eminent of all the advantages which religion confers. It is the universal comforter;--it is the spring of all human activity.

Upon futurity, men are constantly suspended; animated by the prospect of some distant good, they toil and suffer through the whole course of life; and it is not so much what they are at present, as what they hope to be in some after time, that enlivens their motions, fixes their attention, and stimulates industry.

Was this hope entertained with that full persuasion which Christian faith demands, it would in truth totally annihilate all human miseries; it would banish discontent, extinguish grief, and suspend the very feeling of pain.

* * * * *
* * * *

HUMILITY IN COMPANY.

Of all the qualifications for conversation, humility, if not the most brilliant, is the safest, the most amiable, and the most feminine. The affectation of introducing subjects with which others are unacquainted, and of displaying talents superior to the rest of the company, is as dangerous as it is foolish.

There are many who never can forgive another for being more agreeable and more accomplished than themselves, and who can pardon any offence rather than an eclipsing merit. The fable of the nightingale should be ever had in remembrance, as it conveys a most useful lesson replete with valuable instructions. Had the silly warbler conquered his vanity, and resisted the temptation of shewing a fine voice, he might have escaped the talons of the hawk. The melody of his singing was the cause of his destruction; his merit brought him into danger, and his vanity cost him his life.

* * * * *

MAN’S DANGER AND SECURITY IN YOUTH.

In that period of life too often characterized by forward presumption and headlong pursuit, self-conceit is the great source of those dangers to which men are exposed; and it is peculiarly unfortunate, that the age which stands most in need of the counsel of the wise, should be the most prone to contemn it. Confident in the opinions which they adopt, and in the measures which they pursue, the bliss which youth aim at is, in their opinion, fully apparent. It is not the danger of mistake, but the failure of success, which they dread. Activity to seize, not sagacity to discern, is the only requisite which they value.

The whole state of nature is now become a scene of delusion to the sensual mind. Hardly any thing is what it appears to be: and what flatters most is always farthest from reality. There are voices which sing around us, but whose strains allure to ruin. There is a banquet spread where poison is in every dish. There is a couch which invites us to repose, but to slumber upon it is death. Sobriety should temper unwary ardour; Modesty check rash presumption; Wisdom be the offspring of reflection now, rather than the bitter fruit of experience hereafter.

* * * * *
* * * *

The
_WANDERINGS_
of the
IMAGINATION.

_BY MRS. GOOCH._

(Continued from page 371.)

* * *

Conclusion
of the
_HISTORY OF CAPTAIN S----._

She arrived at the house of Mrs. Moore, and on enquiring for Mrs. S----, was answered by a coarse, vulgar-looking woman, that “she know’d no such person; but that she was a stranger, and her mistress was out.” Mrs. Wilmot was not to be so easily repulsed after her morning’s fatigue; and on her mentioning the child, the woman added, “Oh, to be sure, she meant the grand lady that had supped there the night before, after she had been to the play; for that she had lighted her home, and would tell the coachman where she lived.”

Thus directed, they proceeded near half a mile farther; from whence Mrs. Wilmot would have been probably sent back as much in the dark, had not the sudden appearance of Mrs. S---- at an upper window caught her eye, and there was no possibility of denying herself. Mrs. Wilmot ordered the coachman, without much ceremony, to open the door, but knocked repeatedly at that of the house before she was let in. She was at length shewn into a sumptuous parlour where every thing bespoke luxury, and Mrs. S---- came to her. Her visible confusion, and the style of her dress so different to that in which Mrs. Wilmot had been accustomed to behold her, would have soon convinced a person of less penetration than that worthy woman, of the deception practised on her master.

“Without making any comments, she delivered her message, and earnestly intimated that the little boy might return with her; to which Mrs. S---- most reluctantly assented. They were soon seated in the coach, and Mrs. Wilmot thought it her duty to forbear interrogating the child; but confined herself to her own pious reflections on that gentle pity which she thought it necessary for every human being to bestow on the lost young creature, from whom she had just parted. She wished it had not been reserved for her to make the discovery of unquestionable guilt; and while she contemplated the sweet features of the lovely boy, she inwardly ejaculated a prayer to his Creator, that his young mind might remain uncontaminated by bad example; for she could not suppose that at such early years he could be an adept in the school of deception; or that a mother, though lost in her own person, could train up her child in the paths that led to infamy and corruption. Alas, his little heart was already less pure than her own; and he was an able practitioner in the art of dissembling.

“Mrs. Wilmot’s silence lasted no longer than till her return home; when immediately requesting a few minutes private audience with her master in his study, she, with many apologies, entered into a full explanation of what she had seen, and what she conjectured.

“When dinner was over, my uncle questioned Frederick; and was astonished at the hardened resolution with which he at first equivocated. On finding, however, that his secret had transpired, and his interrogator was resolved, the weakness of a mind not yet sufficiently strong to be consummate in hypocrisy, betrayed him, and he revealed all he knew.

Shocked at the idea of suffering the child to return to his imprudent mother, yet not possessing in himself sufficient authority to detain him, there was but one expedient, and that was to send for me. He drew from him a promise not to mention to his mother a word of what had passed; and promising to him if he did not, such presents as were most desirable at his age, he sent him home; and it was the day following on which, at his own request, I waited on him.

Our conversation was such as might be expected, and I had the happiness to see myself restored to a relation, whom I had hitherto scarcely known. He invited me to reside at his house; and in a few days his attorney waited on Mrs. S---- with a formal requisition, in my behalf, for the restoration of my son. She complied by force, but had the littleness to take from him all his wearing apparel, save that in which he sullenly appeared before us. My emotions on seeing him cannot be described. He received my caresses with disgust; and seemed to consider us both more as his tyrants than his protectors. For several weeks we tried what effect kindness, little presents, and the partaking of different amusements, would have on his mind. None of these succeeded; his temper was vindictive, stubborn, morose, and even revengeful. He never spoke of his mother, and we as carefully avoided her name in his presence. We fitted up without his knowledge a small room in the house for his use, and stored it with such books as might amuse his fancy, and instruct his mind. No act of kindness made any impression on him. Often did the unmanly tear roll silently down my cheek, as I traced the distant, but well-finished resemblance of his lovely mother. He frequently observed me as my heart yearned to embrace him, but his ungracious looks repelled the too tender emotion. My uncle at length told me of his determination to send him to school, and hinted at the same time his intentions in his favour. We soon after placed him at an academy ten miles from town, and had the pleasure to receive very satisfactory accounts of his conduct and improvements. We seldom visited, or sent for him, but at the time of the general holidays; as from that mistaken indulgence arises so frequently a love of pleasure and idleness, and a disgust to all which should be materially attended to. He wrote, at my express desire, to his mother, to inform her of his new situation, and of the orders which had been given to prevent any interruption of his studies; but this caution proved needless, as she neither answered his letter, nor took any farther notice of him.

I passed about two years in this state of negative happiness, when death suddenly robbed me of my valuable relation; a misfortune the more grievous, as it was wholly unexpected. The physician who occasionally attended him had not perceived any alarming symptoms; and a few mornings after his last visit, Mrs. Wilmot found him dead in his bed. He was a man of sound morals, but great eccentricity. He had been so long estranged from the world, and those few who had any claim of relationship, that ’tis probable he would have left his possessions for the use of public charities, had not Mrs. S------, without intending to serve me, so materially effected it.

As it was not unusual for my uncle to pass several days together in his own apartment, during which I seldom or ever saw him, I had no idea till Mrs. Wilmot suggested to me her opinion that a new will had been lately made. Mr. Term, the lawyer, whom he had employed to bring my son to us, and in whom he had always appeared to place much confidence, had been latterly more frequent than usual in his visits; and Mrs. Wilmot was afterwards justified in her opinion that her master had been guided by him in the regulation of his affairs. I sent immediately for that gentleman, and we proceeded into the gloomy chamber of death, where we had no difficulty to find the object of our search. He opened and read it to us. We found that he had left the bulk of his fortune to my son; an annuity of two hundred pounds to myself; and to Mrs. Wilmot, his houshold furniture, plate, and other articles, besides fifty pounds a year for her life. Mr. Term was his sole executor; and I had no cause to be displeased with the choice. He appointed that gentleman and myself the joint guardians of Frederick. Mrs. S------ was not mentioned, but some trifling sums were bequeathed to different people.

“We found on investigation, that after discharging these incumbrances, my son’s property would not exceed from seven to eight thousand pounds. When the funeral was over, I took lodgings in the neighbourhood; and my son, whom I had sent for on that occasion, returned to his school. I had not been there many days, before I received a letter from Doctor C----, his worthy preceptor, informing me that Frederick had suddenly disappeared; and that in so secret a manner, that none of the boys, whom he had severally questioned, could give the least intimation of his design. I immediately waited on Mr. Term, and invested him with full power over him, desiring him to act for me as well as himself.

“We had no doubt of his mother’s being privy to his flight; but though she did not deny having any knowledge of him, it was impossible to prevail on her to reveal what she had done with him. We gave up the pursuit; and, though I could not be happy, I endeavoured to be composed.

“I knew that my re-union with my wife was now beyond the reach of possibility. Dear, and undeserving as she was, I could only pity, and lament her. I knew too that she must be inevitably wretched; for though I was well assured she had a settlement nearly double to my income, yet I was equally so that no provision, however splendid, could compensate for the loss of every social virtue, and the self-accusation of perfidy, and ingratitude.

“In a few months, she sent me an insulting letter; telling me, that as she knew her son’s fortune to be out of the reach of his guardians, she could be under no apprehensions for his future welfare; but that of his present conduct she should take charge; which, if we objected to, would oblige her to continue silent respecting his residence. We soon, however, without any difficulty, found out that he was at a respectable military academy; and as we could not suggest any reasonable motives for withdrawing him, unless it was to prevent him from seeing his mother, which we knew would drive them both to extremities, we were silent on the subject; and, at length, answered the different bills that were necessarily contracted for his support and education.

“My son is now in his twenty-fifth year, and has been nearly nine in a regiment of foot, at this time in Ireland. For my present poverty, I can only alledge, that dangerous rock on which all my peace has been wrecked, a too large portion of _natural affection_. His unbounded extravagance has reduced me to distress; and I have taken up, at different times, to assist him, sums so inadequate to my circumstances, that some years must pass before I can enjoy anew that comfortable independance, which was forfeited almost as soon as acquired!

“Of Mrs. S---- I know nothing. Time has blunted the sharp edge of grief; but the wound has penetrated my heart, and _that_ will never know a _cure_.

“My son knows I can do no more for him, and leaves me to my fate. Thus is every balsamic drop that is mixed in the full cup of human woe, converted into deadly poison; the more fatal to me, as they issue from the fount that flowed pure and unadulterated from the hands of its Creator.

“Thus, Madam, have you patiently attended to the undisguised story of a poor, unfortunate old man, worn out by sorrow more than by years; a man, who has been a friend, though an unsuccessful one, to human nature, but who is now become a burden to himself, and to the World.”

I pitied him--I wept with him:--But it is reserved to the High Power alone whom he worships, to administer consolation.

Should the eyes of youth, and levity, be cast over the preceding history, may they be moistened by the tear of Sensibility! And may the heart of every child that is callous to the distresses of a parent, recoil with horror at the unnatural crime; and, by returning to his duty, fulfil _the great Commandment of Heaven!_

(To be continued.)

* * * * *

OBSERVATION.

Flattery is often the guide to destruction.--It is the first rudiment which man attends to with success, and the first lesson he repeats to gain our affections; too often, my fair friends, you give ear to it, and suffer your hearts to be enslaved for encomiums which your mirror tell you are false.

* * * * *
* * * *

_THE FARRAGO._

* * *

Nº. V.

* * *

Our youth, proficients in a NOBLE art,
Divide a farthing to the hundredth part.
Well done, my boy, the joyful father cries,
ADDITION and SUBTRACTION make us wise.

FRANCIS.

It would scarcely inform my readers to assure them, that, when I was at College, my mathematical tutor shook his head, and dubbed me a stupid fellow. Whatever stress might be laid on the multiplication and pence tables by the sedate shop-keepers of State-street and Cornhill, it always appeared to me that a scholar could attain the object of his mission to the university, without any assistance from the four first rules. Hence, I was more ashamed to be surprised solving a sum in Pike, than a reputed virgin would be to have the unchaste poems of _Rochester_ plucked from her pillow. I contented myself with studying the ways of men and the works of Roman and English wits, without gaping with a foolish face of wonder, when told of the “Square of the Hypothenuse,” and the miracles that compound interest would perform in a term of years. Geometrical progression was not half so delightful to me as vehicular progression in a crazy Charlestown-car. That portion of arithmetic among merchants called fellowship, or company, I left to them to ascertain their shares of a cargo of sugar and molasses by; while the rules of good fellowship I made familiar both to my conception and practice. In fine, those of my prudent friends who observed the lankness of my purse, long before the expiration of a College term, merrily remarked, that REDUCTION was the only part of arithmetic in which I made a figure.

This avowed neglect of a darling study, so offended the lovers of straight lines, that every moment they could steal from their diagrams they employed in prognosticating my future fortune. They would sketch on the paper covers of EUCLID perspective views of my dilapidated estate; and by rhombus, rhomboid, and trapezium, barbarous terms, such as are “a misery to hear,” they would conjure away my goods and chattles. Those, who descending from the heights of abstraction, condescended to become mere mortals again, and to converse upon sublunary topics, were continually quoting and applying to me that elegant adage “of bringing one’s noble to a nine-pence,” &c. In vain I endeavoured to defend my practice, and to apologize for my disbelief in Euclid’s infallibility. In vain I suggested, that many of the brightest geniuses successfully clambered up the rugged steeps of Fame, without employing the nine digits, as pioneers, to smooth the way: that Shakespeare, with whom, as Cicero observes of Plato, I would rather _err_, than think right with all the philosophers, was not only a novice in the doctrine of “nought and carry one,” but frankly indulges a laugh of contempt at computation:--that in Othello, when Iago informs his Venitian dupe of Cassio’s unjust preferment to a lieutenancy, and is asked “what is he?” the contemptuous response is “forsooth a great arithmetician!” That in Love’s Labour Lost, a pert page demands of Armado “how many is one thrice told?” the solemn knight replies “I am ill at reckoning, it fits the spirit of a tapster:” that Lord Lyttleton the elder, a _man of business_, emphasizing the phrase, honoured by his prince with a place in the exchequer and in the department of finance, could not, as we are assured by his son, count twenty pounds in different British coins; that the Dean of St. Patrick’s, whose sterling sense and humour has pleased and informed men more than all the works of all the mathematicians, employed eight hours in a day in reading historians and poets, and composing the Tale of a Tub, and was refused by the university of Dublin, a degree, because he lampooned Locke and derided the ærial speculations of a mathematician. All these shining examples, like Haman’s prosperity, “availed me nothing,” and the sticklers for science told me that I could not give directions to a carpenter without understanding--how shall I write so unpoetical a word--without understanding _parallelograms_.

Having thus far, in jocular phrase, discussed this _grave_ subject, I now seriously declare, it is not my wish to abrogate any branches of this recondite science. I am not possessed with such a Quixotish spirit of innovation, as to desire all concerned forthwith to make proclamation for mathematics and cousin german arithmetic to depart; but good-naturedly to deride that mode of education, which neglecting, or partially studying, eloquence, poetry, history, the classics, and the world, devotes long and exclusive attention to things abstracted and foreign from men’s business and bosoms. That great and universal scholar, Dr. Johnson, whose authority is of no trivial weight, decisively pronounces that this science and the knowledge which it requires and includes, is not the great and frequent business of life. It is of rare emergence. We are perpetually moralists, but we are geometricians only by chance. One may live long with a man and not discern his skill in hydrostatics, or astronomy, but his moral and prudential character immediately appears. The rigid Knox, who is a strenuous advocate for the severest school discipline, confesses, that a man may be very liberally educated, without much skill in this branch of learning. I remember reading, not many years since, a preface of Dr. Cheyne’s to one of his medical tracts, wherein, after describing his devotion to triangles, &c. he pathetically deplores his waste of time, and adds, “that in these exquisitely bewitching speculations, gentlemen of liberal leisure may riot; but for men of general learning, business, and the world, they are too empty and ærial.” My readers will perhaps yawn at these multiplied citations; but this is a science, supported so much by authority and opinion, that I must oppose it with equal arms.

We are magisterially told that this study, _of all others_, most closely fixes the attention. An argument shallow, untrue, and easily vanquished. Any object that engrosses the mind, will induce a habit of attention. Now I can warrantably assert, that a description from Virgil, a scene from Shakespeare, Robertson’s narrative of the decollation of Mary, or any striking passage from authors of polite literature, will accomplish this purpose. Why should the demonstrations of Euclid arrogate this honour to themselves? Have they an _exclusive privilege_ of enchanting the mind, or are they invested with a talismanic charm by which attention is at once conjured into mathematical circles? Addison wondered how _rational_ beings could for hours play with painted bits of paper; but he was manifestly a novice in whist, a game which, regularly played, is an unremitting exercise of two of the noblest intellectual powers, memory and judgment. The acute Hume, when jaded with metaphysical research, invigorated his powers with a cheerful RUBBER. From a fashionable amusement he derived that benefit which the worshippers of Euclid would confine to their God. In fine, a _mere_ mathematician, without being a more cogent reasoner, is less learned, less eloquent, and less courtly than the Beauclercs, whose superficial talents he contemns. He is a solemn, absent, unaccommodating mortal. Better therefore to imitate Cardinal de Retz and Chesterfield; better to study the useful and the pleasant, than to dream away life over the symbols and negative quantities of algebra.

I proposed to animadvert next on the influence that arithmetical minutiæ gradually obtained over the heart. I was about adventuring to censure even the great Dr. Franklin, for insisting too much upon the mint, annise, and cummin of computation. I wished to brand avarice, and to deny the doctrine of “uttermost farthings.” But I recollected that every penurious parent, who prescribes as a horn-book lesson to his son, that “scoundrel maxim” a penny saved is a penny got, would cry--shame! The world, quoth prudence, will not bear it; ’tis a penny getting, pound hoarding world--I yielded; and shelter myself in my garret against that mob of misers and worldlings I see gathering to hoot me.

* * * * *

REFLECTIONS ON SCANDAL.

* * *

“Base Envy withers at another’s joy,
And hates that excellence it cannot reach.”

THOMSON.

There is not a greater enemy to the peace of individuals, and society at large, than Scandal; although it is much to be regretted, that, there is no frailty to which most people are so subject. Scandal is the offspring of Envy; and the only weapon of little minds against superior abilities. But notwithstanding Scandal affects, more or less, every member of the community, it reigns with more distinguished power over some parts of society than others. On enquiry, it will appear that the female character sustains the most injury from this bane to human happiness. In the country, too, this species of Scandal is more prevalent than in the metropolis. The reason is obvious; in a country place, the number of inhabitants are so small, that each is frequently more acquainted with the character of his neighbour than his own. Every action is examined with the most critical severity; and often the best of characters lose the esteem of their acquaintance from the malignant aspersions of Ignorance and Envy. It is impossible for a lady to be seen walking with a gentleman, in such a place, without the immediate conclusion that they are lovers: it is even not uncommonly added, if their acquaintance should have lasted any length of time, that Miss Such-a-one appears to be in _fair way_. After a report of this nature has once spread, I have seen a company of females thrown into the greatest consternation, by the entrance of a lady who was the unfortunate subject of Slander. How busy is the silent whisper, on these occasions! It runs with amazing rapidity, from ear to ear, accompanied by nods and winks; with a--“You know who”--“So they say”--“Well, I could never have thought it!” and a variety of such phrases, which every one must at some time have heard.

Scandal is of a quality peculiarly distressing. Against the open shafts of violence, every one may defend himself; but, from Slander, and secret Calumny, the most deserving must suffer.

The only method to prevent this pest to society, is for every one to shut their ears against the officious tales of Scandal and Envy; since experience proves, that if people in general were not too much inclined to listen, when any account is brought of the faults and failings of others, the tongue of Scandal would no longer find the mean satisfaction it now enjoys.

The mischiefs that accrue to mankind, from Calumny and Slander, are innumerable. How many families have their peace destroyed by evil reports! By such means, the seeds of enmity are too often engendered between the dearest connections in life.

It has already been observed, that Scandal is the only weapon of little minds against superior worth and abilities. The truth of this remark ought to be a sufficient preventative; for, I believe, no one would wish to incur the merited appellation of a little and envious mind. Females, in particular, should divest themselves of this spirit, which produces so many evils among the fair-sex; for, let it be remembered, that an envious mind, and slanderous tongue, never inhabit the face of beauty, and the form of elegance!--If there must still remain, in the breasts of some, a slanderous spirit, and a delight to fabricate scandalous reports; if most people will also retain a propensity to hear whatever comes from such a source; let us act with some degree of impartiality: before we credit, as undoubted truth, tales injurious so the reputation of another; we ought, at least, to examine whether what we hear does not wear the most flagrant marks of falsehood. Thus we may often be enabled to discover fiction from truth, and be satisfied that the person accused is entirely innocent: and it is the province of great minds, to vindicate the characters of those who are absent, when unjustly aspersed by the tongue of Scandal.

* * * * *
* * * *

CHARACTER OF LORD MOUNT-GARTH.

Of the following extraordinary character, though not given as historical fact, there is said to have actually been a prototype lately, if not at present, resident in one of the wildest parts of the county of Suffolk.

Lord Mount-Garth had retired from the world twenty years ago, not only within his own park, but, except on very rare occasions, within his own palace and garden; which, together, occupied a space of nearly a square mile, and were surrounded by a wall fifteen feet high; against which he would amuse himself for hours in playing at hand-ball; sometimes alone, and at others accompanied by a female favourite, the only person he would suffer to come near him, or could ever bear to see, though at a distance, except one man, the son of his father’s gardener, who had been brought up with him at home from his infancy, and was exactly of the same age, being born in the same night and hour. This man had not, any more than his lordship, been without the precincts of the park, and very seldom beyond those of the garden, for the space of thirty years. As they went into this state of voluntary confinement, which is a kind of _internal_ exile, at the age of twenty, they are now, of course, in the fiftieth year of their age. John, for that was the name of the man, had been educated along with his lordship in his father’s family, by a private tutor; and had acquired a competent knowledge, not only of ancient and modern languages, history, and Belles Lettres, but a general idea of the principles and progressive improvement in the arts and sciences. John acted in the capacity of valet de chambre, confidant, and companion; dined at the same table with his lordship, went to bed at the same hour, and slept to the same hour precisely, and almost to the same minute rose in the morning. He was dressed precisely in the same kind of cloaths, even to the sameness of shoe-buckles and sleeve-buttons. If my lord felt himself not very well, and judged it proper to take any medicine, John must take the same medicine also. “John” he would say, “I think we sat up rather too late last night: I think we should not be the worse for an emetic.”--“I think we should be much the better for it, my lord.”--“John, I am afraid we have rather exceeded in our refreshments for some days past: I think we should be none the worse for some cathartics.”--“I think we should be much the better for them, my lord.”--“John, I think we feel somewhat of a vertigo this morning: I think we should be not the worse for a little sal volatile.”--“I think we should be much the better for it, my lord.”--“Have we not felt a somewhat of relaxation of nerves for same days, John?”--“I protest, my lord, on recollection, I think we have.”--“What should you think of a dip in the cold-bath?”--“I think, my lord, it would do us both a great deal of good.”

This singular character, sunk in indolence and sensuality, of all things dreaded cold: but as for snow, he could not endure the sight of it. In winter, he generally lay in bed till ten or eleven o’clock: about that time he would pull his bell, call for John, and ask him what kind of a day it was. “It is a very fine day, my lord; the sun shines out brightly, and the atmosphere is unsullied by a cloud.”--“Why, then, John, I think we should be the better for a race in the garden.” For it was their custom to have frequent races, at the end of which both parties were within a few feet of each other. “John, how looks the weather this morning?”--“Most hideously, my lord! The sky lowers; the feathered creation retreat to their roosts; the cats incessantly curry their hides; and flakes of snow, driving before the wind, announce the coming storm.”--“John, shut the doors and windows; light up a rouzing fire; let candles be brought; let the pastry and cold tongues be laid on the table; and, since it is a bad day, let us make a good night.”

Many efforts were made by the college acquaintance of his lordship to see him; for, with all his singularities, he was an amiable and benevolent man, as well as an excellent scholar; and attached, as by a singular charm, all his acquaintance to his person. They would put up their horses at an adjoining village, and send letters to his lordship, fraught with recollections of former intimacy. His lordship never failed to return answers replete with equal kindness; recollecting former scenes and circumstances, with expressions of the most pleasing emotions, but always declining any personal interview.