Chapter X: Prologue: 120 (1)

To a Theatrical Entertainment in Philadelphia

Wars, cruel wars, and hostile Britain's rage
Have banished long the pleasures of the stage;
From the gay painted scene compelled to part,
(Forgot the melting language of the heart)
Constrained to shun the bold theatric show,
To act long tragedies of real woe,
Heroes, once more attend the comic muse;
Forget our failings, and our faults excuse.
In that fine language is our fable drest
Which still unrivalled, reigns o'er all the rest;
Of foreign courts the study and the pride,
Who to know this abandon all beside;
Bold, though polite, and ever sure to please;
Correct with grace, and elegant with ease;
Soft from the lips its easy accents roll,
Formed to delight and captivate the soul:
In this _Eugenia_ tells her easy lay,
The brilliant work of courtly Beaumarchais:
In this Racine, Voltaire, and Boileau sung,
The noblest poets in the noblest tongue.
If the soft story in our play expressed
Can give a moment's pleasure to your breast,
To you, Great Men,[121] we must be proud to say
That moment's pleasure shall our pains repay:
Returned from conquest and from glorious toils,
From armies captured and unnumbered spoils;
Ere yet again, with generous France allied,
You rush to battle, humbling British pride;
While arts of peace your kind protection share,
O let the Muses claim an equal care.
You bade us first our future greatness see,
Inspired by you, we languished to be free;
Even here where Freedom lately sat distrest,
See, a new Athens rising in the west!
Fair science blooms, where tyrants reigned before,
Red war, reluctant, leaves our ravaged shore--
Illustrious heroes, may you live to see
These new Republics powerful, great, and free;
Peace, heaven born peace, o'er spacious regions spread,
While discord, sinking, veils her ghastly head.

[120] First published in the _Freeman's Journal_, January 9, 1782, with the following introduction: "On Wednesday evening, the 2d instant [January 2, 1782] Alex. Quesnay, Esq., exhibited a most elegant entertainment at the playhouse, where were present his excellency Gen. Washington, the Minister of France, the President of the State, a number of officers of the army, and a brilliant assemblage of ladies and gentlemen of the city who were invited. After a prologue suitable to the occasion, EUGENIE, an elegant French comedy, was first presented (written by the celebrated M. Beaumarchais), and in the opinion of several good judges was extremely well acted by the young gentlemen students in that polite language. After the comedy was acted the LYING VARLET, a farce; to this succeeded several curious dances, followed by a brilliant illumination, consisting of thirteen pyramidal pillars, representing the thirteen States,--on the middle column was seen a cupid, supporting a laurel crown over the motto, 'WASHINGTON, _the pride of his Country and terror of Britain_.' On the summit was the word _Virginia_, on the right _Connecticut_, with the names GREENE and LA FAYETTE, on the left the word _Pennsylvania_, with the names WAYNE and STEUBEN, and so on according to the birthplace and State proper to each general. The spectacle ended with an artificial illumination of the thirteen columns."

The prologue, written at the request of Mr. Quesnay, is as above.

[121] In the 1786 version, which was reprinted verbatim from the newspaper, this read "Great Sir," with the foot-note, "Addressed to His Excellency General Washington," and the rest of the poem was made to refer solely to him. In the later versions this was changed so as to read, "Addressed to the Commander in Chief and several of the officers of the American army then present at the theatre in Southwark."

STANZAS[122]

Occasioned by the Ruins of a Country Inn, unroofed and blown down
in a storm

Where now these mingled ruins lie
A temple once to Bacchus rose,
Beneath whose roof, aspiring high,
Full many a guest forgot his woes:

No more this dome, by tempests torn,
Affords a social safe retreat;
But ravens here, with eye forlorn,
And clustering bats henceforth will meet.

The Priestess of this ruined shrine,
Unable to survive the stroke,
Presents no more the ruddy wine,
Her glasses gone, her china broke.

The friendly Host, whose social hand
Accosted strangers at the door,
Has left at length his wonted stand,
And greets the weary guest no more.

Old creeping Time, that brings decay,
Might yet have spared these mouldering walls,
Alike beneath whose potent sway
A temple or a tavern falls.

Is this the place where mirth and joy,
Coy nymphs and sprightly lads were found?
Indeed! no more the nymphs are coy,
No more the flowing bowls go round.

Is this the place where festive song
Deceived the wintry hours away?
No more the swains the tune prolong,
No more the maidens join the lay:

Is this the place where Nancy slept
In downy beds of blue and green?--
Dame Nature here no vigils kept,
No cold unfeeling guards were seen.

'Tis gone!--and Nancy tempts no more,
Deep, unrelenting silence reigns;
Of all that pleased, that charmed before,
The tottering chimney scarce remains!

Ye tyrant winds, whose ruffian blast
Through doors and windows blew too strong,
And all the roof to ruin cast,
The roof that sheltered us so long.

Your wrath appeased, I pray be kind
If Mopsus should the dome renew;
That we again may quaff his wine,
Again collect our jovial crew.

[122] Published in the _Freeman's Journal_, January 23, 1782.

THE ROYAL ADVENTURER[123]

Prince William of the Brunswick race,
To witness George's sad disgrace
The Royal Lad came over
Rebels to kill by Right Divine--
Deriv'd from that illustrious line
The beggars of Hanover.

So many chiefs got broken pates
In vanquishing the rebel States,
So many nobles fell,
That George the Third in passion cry'd,
"Our royal blood must now be try'd;
"'Tis that must break the spell:

"To you (the fat pot-valiant Swine
To Digby said) dear friend of mine,
"To you I trust my boy.
"The rebel tribes shall quake with fears,
"Rebellion die when he appears;
"My Tories leap with joy."

So said, so done--the boy was sent,
But never reach'd the continent,
An Island held him fast--
Yet there his friends danc'd rigadoons,
The Hessians sung in High Dutch tunes,
"Prince William's come at last."

"Prince William comes!"--the Briton cry'd--
"The glory of our empire wide
"Shall now be soon restor'd--
"Our monarch is in William seen,
"He is the image of our queen,
"Let William be ador'd!"

The Tories came with long address,
With poems groan'd the Royal press,
And all in William's praise--
The boy astonish'd look'd about
To find their vast dominions out,
Then answer'd in amaze,

"Where all your empire wide can be,
"Friends, for my soul I cannot see:
"'Tis but an empty name;
"Three wasted islands and a town
"In rubbish bury'd--half burnt down,
"Is all that we can claim:

"I am of royal birth, 'tis true,
"But what, alas! can princes do,
"No armies to command?
"Cornwallis conquer'd and distrest,
"Sir Henry Clinton grown a jest,
"I curse and leave the land."

[123] Published in the _Freeman's Journal_, January 30, 1782. "Prince William Henry, third son of George III, afterwards William IV, entered the navy as midshipman at the age of fourteen in 1779. He sailed in the _Prince George_ of 98 guns to Gibralter, in the course of which cruise he saw some service under Rodney in conflict with the Spanish fleet; and it was in this ship, accompanied by Admiral Digby, that he arrived at New York in September, 1781."--_Duyckinck._ He was received with great enthusiasm and ceremony. In the _Freeman's Journal_ of January 25, 1782, was the following, doubtless from the pen of Freneau: "It is observable that the arrival of Prince William Henry in New York filled the British with 'joy ineffable and universal.' The very chimney sweeps, smitten with the poetic flame, composed odes in his praise, some of which were inserted in _The Royal Gazette_." The 1809 edition was given a long French motto from Mirabeau, which Freneau translates as follows: "The favourites of a throne bask in its sunshine, like butterflies in a fine day. Their very slaves at the foot of royalty partake of the delusion. They keep a nation under their feet, and their every folly influences and is followed by the multitude. They care not if their fathers and their nearest relatives are trampled into the dust, provided _they_ can figure away in the circles of a court, etc."

LORD DUNMORE'S PETITION TO THE LEGISLATURE OF VIRGINIA[124]

_Humbly Sheweth--_

That a silly old fellow, much noted of yore,
And known by the name of John, earl of Dunmore,
Has again ventured over to visit your shore.

The reason of this he begs leave to explain--
In England they said you were conquered and slain,
(But the devil take him who believes them again)--

So, hearing that most of you rebels were dead,
That some had submitted, and others had fled,
I mustered my Tories, myself at their head,

And over we scudded, our hearts full of glee,
As merry as ever poor devils could be,
Our ancient dominion, Virginia, to see;

Our shoe-boys, and tars, and the very cook's mate
Already conceived he possessed an estate,
And the Tories no longer were cursing their fate.

Myself, (the don Quixote) and each of the crew,
Like Sancho, had islands and empires in view--
They were captains, and kings, and the devil knows who:

But now, to our sorrow, disgrace, and surprise,
No longer deceived by the Father of Lies,[A]
We hear with our ears, and we see with our eyes:--

[A] The printer of the Royal Gazette.--_Freneau's note, ed.
of 1786._

I have therefore to make you a modest request,
(And I'm sure, in my mind, it will be for the best)
Admit me again to your mansions of rest.

There are Eden, and Martin, and Franklin, and Tryon,[125]
All waiting to see you submit to the Lion,
And may wait till the devil is king of Mount Sion:--

Though a brute and a dunce, like the rest of the clan,
I can govern as well as most Englishmen can;
And if I'm a drunkard, I still am a man:

I missed it some how in comparing my notes,
Or six years ago I had joined with your votes;
Not aided the negroes in cutting your throats.[126]

Although with so many hard names I was branded,
I hope you'll believe, (as you will if you're candid)
That I only performed what my master commanded.

Give me lands, whores and dice, and you still may be free;
Let who will be master, we sha'nt disagree;
If king or if Congress--no matter to me;--

I hope you will send me an answer straitway,
For 'tis plain that at Charleston we cannot long stay--
And your humble petitioner ever shall pray.

DUNMORE.

CHARLESTON, _Jan. 6, 1782_.

[124] First published in the _Freeman's Journal_, February 13, 1782, and printed almost without change in the various editions. Lord Dunmore was appointed Royal Governor of Virginia in 1770, but, after a stormy career was forced to flee from the colony after the news of Lexington had reached the Southern patriots.

[125] "The last Royal Governors: Robert Eden of Maryland; Joseph Martin of North Carolina; William Franklin of New Jersey; William Tryon of New York."--_Duyckinck._

[126] After the second patriot convention assembled in Richmond, Va., in March, 1775, to take measures toward putting the colony in a state of defence, Dunmore, "To intimidate the Virginians, issued proclamations and circulated a rumor that he would incite an insurrection of their slaves.... 'The whole country,' said he, 'can easily be made a solitude; and by the living God! if any insult is offered to me or to those who have obeyed my orders, I will declare freedom to the slaves and lay the town in ashes.'"--_Bancroft._

EPIGRAM[127]

Occasioned by the title of Mr. Rivington's[A] New York Royal Gazette being scarcely legible

[A] Royal printer to his Britannic majesty while his forces
held the city of New York, from 1776 to November 25,
1783.--_Freneau's note._

Says Satan to Jemmy, "I hold you a bet
"That you mean to abandon our Royal Gazette,
"Or, between you and me, you would manage things better
"Than the Title to print on so sneaking a letter.

"Now being connected so long in the art
"It would not be prudent at present to part;
"And people, perhaps, would be frightened, and fret
"If the devil alone carried on the Gazette."

Says Jemmy to Satan (by the way of a wipe),
"Who gives me the matter should furnish the type;
"And why you find fault, I can scarcely divine,
"For the types, like the printer, are certainly thine.

"'Tis yours to deceive with the semblance of truth,
"Thou friend of my age, and thou guide of my youth!
"But, to prosper, pray send me some further supplies,
"A sett of new types, and a sett of new lies."

[127] Published in the _Freeman's Journal_, February 13, 1782.

A SPEECH[128]

That should have been spoken by the King of the Island of Britain
to his Parliament

My lords, I can hardly from weeping refrain,
When I think of this year and its cursed campaign;[129]
But still it is folly to whine and to grieve,
For things will yet alter, I hope and believe.

Of the four southern States we again are bereav'd,
They were just in our grasp (or I'm sadly deceiv'd):
There are wizards and witches that dwell in those lands,
For the moment we gain them, they slip from our hands.

Our prospects at present most gloomy appear;
Cornwallis returns with a flea in his ear,
Sir Henry is sick of his station we know--
And Amherst, though press'd, is unwilling to go.

The Hero[130] that steer'd for the cape of Good Hope
With Monsieur Suffrein was unable to cope--
Many months are elaps'd, yet his task is to do--
To conquer the cape, and to conquer Peru:

When his squadron at Portsmouth he went to equip
He promis'd great things from his fifty-gun ship;
But let him alone--while he knows which is which,
He'll not be so ready "_to die in a ditch_."

This session, I thought to have told you thus much,
"A treaty concluded, and peace with the Dutch"--
But as stubborn as ever, they vapour and brag,
And sail by my nose with the Prussian flag.

The empress refuses to join on our side,
As yet with the Indians we're only ally'd:
(Though such an alliance is rather improper,
For we English are white, but their colour is copper.)

The Irish, I fear, have some mischief in view;
They ever have been a most troublesome crew--
If a truce or a treaty hereafter be made,
They shall pay very dear for their present free trade.

Dame Fortune, I think, has our standards forsaken,
For Tobago, they say, by Frenchmen is taken;
Minorca's besieg'd--and as for Gibraltar,
By Jove, if it's taken I'll take to the halter.

It makes me so wroth, I could scold like Xantippe
When I think of our losses along Mississippi--
And see in the Indies that horrible Hyder,
His conquests extending still wider and wider.

'Twixt Washington, Hyder, Don Galvez, De Grasse,
By my soul we are brought to a very fine pass--
When we've reason to hope new battles are won,
A packet arrives--and an army's undone!--

In the midst of this scene of dismay and distress,
What is best to be done, is not easy to guess,
For things may go wrong though we plan them aright,
And blows they must look for, whose trade is to fight.

In regard to the rebels, it is my decree
That dependent on Britain they ever shall be;
Or I've captains and hosts that will fly at my nod
And slaughter them all--by the blessing of God.

But if they succeed, as they're likely to do,
Our neighbours must part with their colonies too:
Let them laugh and be merry, and make us their jest,
When La Plata revolts, we shall laugh with the rest--

'Tis true that the journey to castle St. Juan
Was a project that brought the projectors to ruin;
But still, my dear lords, I would have you reflect,
Who nothing do venture can nothing expect.

If the Commons agree to afford me new treasures,
My sentence once more is for vigorous measures:
Accustom'd so long to head winds and bad weather,
Let us conquer or go to the devil together.

[128] In the _Freeman's Journal_ of February 2, 1782, is given his Majesty's speech of November 27, 1781, in full, followed by the speech he should have given. The first tidings of the surrender of Cornwallis reached England November 25. The king's speech to Parliament was confused and aimless.

[129] Alluding to the last campaign of the war, which culminated in the surrender of Cornwallis.

[130] "Commodore George Johnstone, commanding the British East India fleet, was attacked by the French fleet under M. de Suffrein at St. Jago, one of the Cape de Verd Islands, in 1781. Johnstone's flag-ship was the Rodney, 50."--_Duyckinck._

RIVINGTON'S LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT[131]

[A True Copy from the Records][132]

Since life is uncertain, and no one can say,
How soon we may go, or how long we shall stay,
Methinks he is wisest who soonest prepares,
And settles in season his worldly affairs:

Some folks are so weak they can scarce avoid crying,
And think when they're making their wills they are dying;
'Tis surely a serious employment--but still,
Who e'er died the sooner for making his will?

Let others be sad when their lives they review,
But I know whom I've serv'd--and him faithfully too;
And though it may seem a fanatical story,
He often has show'd me a glimpse of his glory.

IMPRIMIS, my carcase I give and devise
To be made into cakes of a moderate size,
To nourish those tories whose spirits may droop,
And serve the king's army with Portable Soup.

Unless I mistake, in the scriptures we read
That "worms on the dead shall deliciously feed,"
The scripture stands true--and that I am firm in,
For what are our tories and soldiers but vermin?--

This soup of soups can't be call'd that of beef,
And this may to some be a matter of grief:
But I'm certain the Bull would occasion a laugh,
That beef Portable Soup should be made of a Calf.

To the king, my dear master, I give a full sett
(In volumes bound up) of the Royal Gazette,
In which he will find the vast record contain'd
Of provinces conquer'd and victories gain'd.

As to Arnold the traitor and Satan his brother,
I beg they will also accept of another;
And this shall be bound in Morocco red leather,
Provided they'll read it like brothers together.

But if Arnold should die, 'tis another affair,
Then Satan surviving shall be the sole heir;
He often has told me he thought it quite clever,
So to him and his heirs I bequeath it forever.

I know there are some (that would fain be thought wise)
Who say my Gazette is the record of lies;
In answer to this, I shall only reply--
All the choice that I had was to starve or to lie.

My fiddles, my flutes, French horns and guittars[A]
I leave to our heroes now weary of wars--
To the wars of the stage they more boldly advance,
The captains shall play and the soldiers shall dance.[B]

[A] The articles of bequest in this poem were incessantly
advertised in the Royal Gazette, and puffed off with a
dexterity peculiar to the editor of that paper.--_Freneau's
note in ed. of 1809._

[B] It became fashionable at this period with the British
officers to assume the business of the Drama, to the no
small mortification of those who had been holding them
up as the undoubted conquerors of North America.--_Ib._

To Sir Henry Clinton, his use and behoof,
I leave my French brandy of very high proof;
It will give him fresh spirits for battle and slaughter
And make him feel bolder by land and by water:

Yet I caution the knight, for fear he do wrong,
'Tis _avant la viande et apres le poisson_[C]
It will strengthen his stomach, prevent it from turning,
And digest the affront of his effigy burning.

[C] Before flesh and after fish.--_See the Royal Gazette.--Ib._

To Baron Knyphausen,[133] his heirs and assigns,
I bequeath my old hock, and my Burgundy wines,
To a true Hessian drunkard no liquors are sweeter,
And I know the old man is no foe to the creature.

To a general, my namesake,[D] I give and dispose
Of a purse full of clipp'd, light, sweated half joes;
I hereby desire him to take back his trash,
And return me my Hannay's infallible Wash.[E]

[D] General James Robertson.--_Ib._

[E] Used in the venereal disease.--_Ib._

My chessmen and tables, and other such chattels
I give to Cornwallis renowned in battles:
By moving of these (not tracing the map)
He'll explain to the king how he got in the trap.

To good David Mathews[135] (among other slops)
I give my whole cargo of Maredant's drops,
If they cannot do all, they may cure him in part,
And scatter the poison that cankers his heart:

Provided, however, and nevertheless,
That what other estate I enjoy and possess
At the time of my death (if it be not then sold)
Shall remain to the Tories to have and to hold.

As I thus have bequeath'd them both carcase and fleece,
The least they can do is to wait my decease;
But to give them what substance I have, ere I die,
And be eat up with vermin, while living--not I--

In Witness whereof (though no ailment I feel)
Hereunto I set both my hand and my seal;
(As the law says) in presence of witnesses twain,
'Squire _John Coghill Knap_,[F] and brother _Hugh Gaine_.

[F] A Notary Public in New-York.--_Freneau's note._ "'Knapp,'
says Dawson, in a note to _New York City During the
Revolution_, was 'a notorious pettifogger, a convict who
had fled from England for his own benefit.'"--_Duyckinck._

JAMES RIVINGTON, (_L.S._)

NEW-YORK, _Feb. 20, 1782_.

[131] Published in the _Freeman's Journal_, February 27, 1782. One week earlier it was advertised for sale as a broadside. I have followed the 1786 version.

James Rivington, an Englishman, was a bookseller and printer in New York from 1761 until the close of the Revolution. In 1773 he published the first number of _The New York Gazetteer, or the Connecticut, New Jersey, Hudson's River and Quebec Weekly Advertiser_. At the opening of the war he became a violent British partisan. His office was destroyed by the Whigs in 1775. Two years later he established _Rivington's New York Loyal Gazette_, which became the official British newspaper in America. On December 13 of the same year, he changed the name to the _Royal Gazette_. In the last years of the Revolution, when British success seemed more and more uncertain, Rivington began to lean toward the Whig side, but he was never trusted by the patriots, and he passed his last years in loneliness and poverty.

[132] Omitted in later editions.

[133] Baron Wilhelm von Knyphausen, in command of the Hessian troops.

[134] "Tremendous."--_Ed. 1809._

[135] David Mathews, Mayor of New York during the British occupancy.

LINES

Occasioned by Mr. Rivington's new Titular Types to his _Royal
Gazette_, of February 27, 1782[136]

Well--now (said the devil) it looks something better!
Your title is struck on a charming new Letter:
Last night in the dark, as I gave it a squint,
I saw my dear partner had taken the hint.
I ever surmised (though 'twas doubted by some)
That the old types were shadows of substance to come:
But if the new Letter is pregnant with charms,
It grieves me to think of those cursed King's Arms!
The _Dieu et mon droit_ (his God and his right)
Is so dim, that I hardly know what is meant by't;
The paws of the Lion can scarcely be seen,
And the Unicorn's guts are most shamefully lean!
The Crown is so worn of your master the Despot,
That I hardly know whether 'tis a crown or a pisspot:
When I rub up my day-lights, and look very sharp
I just can distinguish the Irishman's Harp:
Another device appears rather silly,
Alas! it is only the shade of the Lilly!
For the honour of George, and the fame of our nation,
Pray give his escutcheons a rectification--
Or I know what I know, (and I'm a queer shaver)
Of Him and his Arms I'll be the In-grave-r.

[136] Published in the _Freeman's Journal_, March 13, 1782.

LINES

On Mr. Rivington's new engraved King's Arms to his
_Royal Gazette_[137]

From the regions of night, with his head in a sack,
Ascended a person accoutred in black,
And upward directing his circular eye whites;
(Like the Jure-divino political Levites)
And leaning his elbow on Rivington's shelf,
While the printer was busy, thus mus'd with himself:
"My mandates are fully complied with at last,
"New arms are engrav'd, and new letters are cast:
"I therefore determine and freely accord,
"This servant of mine shall receive his reward."
Then turning about, to the printer he said,
"Who late was my servant shall now be my Aid;
"Since under my banners so bravely you fight,
"Kneel down!--for your merits I dubb you a knight,
"From a passive subaltern I bid you to rise
"The Inventor as well as the Printer of lies."

[137] _Freeman's Journal_, March 27, 1782. The _Gazette_, among the Whigs at least, was the synonym for falsity and unfairness. It was generally alluded to as the _Lying Gazette_.

A PROPHECY[138]

Written 1782

When a certain great king, whose initial is G,
Shall force stamps upon paper, and folks to drink tea;
When these folks burn his tea, and stampt paper, like stubble,
You may guess that this king is then coming to trouble.
But when a petition he treads under his feet,
And sends over the ocean an army and fleet;
When that army, half-starved, and frantic with rage,
Shall be coop'd up with a leader whose name rhymes to cage,
When that leader goes home, dejected and sad,
You may then be assur'd the king's prospects are bad:
But when B and C with their armies are taken,
This king will do well if he saves his own bacon.
In the year seventeen hundred and eighty and two,
A stroke he shall get that will make him look blue;
In the years eighty-three, eighty-four, eighty-five,
You hardly shall know that the king is alive;[139]
In the year eighty-six[140] the affair will be over,
And he shall eat turnips that grow in Hanover.
The face of the lion then shall become pale,
He shall yield fifteen teeth, and be sheer'd of his tail.
O king, my dear king, you shall be very sore,
The Stars and the Lilly shall run you on shore,
And your lion shall growl, but never bite more.

[138] Published in the _Freeman's Journal_, March 27, 1782, with the following introduction:

"Mr. Printer: The people of England at this time seem persuaded or rather deluded into the opinion that the American revolt will be quashed in the year 1786, and under that idea it is likely will prosecute the war with vigour for some time to come. This infatuation chiefly owes its birth to a prophecy of one John Cosins, who lived in the reign of the Second Charles, importing that a certain transatlantic insurrection, and the Kirk of Scotland, will both fall to the ground in the year above mentioned. Cosins's predictions are as follows, taken from the _Royal Gazette_ of the 18th ult.:

'When a branch of the thistle gets over the Atlantic,
And in a new world the root shall be planted,
And when it doth arrive at a degree of perfection
It surely will breed a great insurrection.
In the year seventy and four the root will be polished,
And in eighty and six it will be quite abolished.
The lily and the thistle in that year will unite,
But the lion and the dun cow will put them to flight.
The eagle will eagerly join in the fray,
But luna will clip both their wings in a day.
O thistle, O thistle, thy wounds will be sore.
Kirk and kirk government will be no more,
And you'll be abridg'd of all civil power.'

To show that America has not been wholly destitute of oracular sages in past times, I send you the following choice words or prophetical hints of an illiterate fisherman, who died about thirty years ago at his habitation, a few miles above the mouth of the Susquehanna. I discovered the paper containing them by mere accident in tumbling over the leaves of an old book at an inn near that place. If you think the lines worth inserting in your paper, they are at your service."

Reprinted without change in the edition of 1786, the text of which I have followed above. In later editions the prophecy was changed somewhat to conform to historical facts.

[139] In the later editions these two lines are made to read:

"And soon, very soon, shall the season arrive
When _Nebuchadnezzar_ to pasture shall drive."

[140] "In the year eighty-three."--_Ed. 1795._

THE ARGONAUT

OR, LOST ADVENTURER[141]

True to his trade--the slave of fortune still--
In a sweet isle, where never winter reigns,
I found him at the foot of a tall hill,
Mending old sails, and chewing sugar canes:
Pale ivy round him grew, and mingled vines,
Plaintains, bananas ripe, and yellow pines.

And flowering night-shade, with its dismal green,
Ash-coloured iris, painted by the sun,
And fair-haired hyacinth was near him seen,
And China pinks by marygolds o'er-run:--
"But what (said he) have men that sail the seas,
"Ah, what have they to do with things like these!

"I did not wish to leave those shades, not I,
"Where Amoranda turns her spinning-wheel;
"Charmed with the shallow stream, that murmured by,
"I felt as blest as any swain could feel,
"Who, seeking nothing that the world admires,
"On one poor valley fixed his whole desires.

"With masts so trim, and sails as white as snow,
"The painted barque deceived me from the land,
"Pleased, on her sea-beat decks I wished to go,
"Mingling my labours with her hardy band;
"To reef the sail, to guide the foaming prow
"As far as winds can waft, or oceans flow.

"To combat with the waves who first essayed,
"Had these gay groves his lightsome heart beguiled,
"His heart, attracted by the charming shade,
"Had changed the deep sea for the woody wild;
"And slighted all the gain that Neptune yields
"For Damon's cottage, or Palemon's fields.

"His barque, the bearer of a feeble crew,
"How could he trust when none had been to prove her;
"Courage might sink when lands and shores withdrew,
"And feeble hearts a thousand deaths discover:
"But Fortitude, tho' woes and death await,
"Still views bright skies, and leaves the dark to fate.

"From monkey climes where limes and lemons grow,
"And the sweet orange swells her fruit so fair,
"To wintry worlds, with heavy heart, I go
"To face the cold glance of the northern bear,
"Where lonely waves, far distant from the sun,
"And gulphs, of mighty strength, their circuits run.

"But how disheartening is the wanderer's fate!
"When conquered by the loud tempestuous main,
"On him, no mourners in procession wait,
"Nor do the sisters of the harp complain.--
"On coral beds and deluged sands they sleep,
"Who sink in storms, and mingle with the deep.

"'Tis folly all--and who can truly tell
"What storms disturb the bosom of that main,
"What ravenous fish in those dark climates dwell
"That feast on men--then stay, my gentle swain!
"Bred in yon' happy shades, be happy there,
"And let these quiet groves claim all your care."

So spoke poor Ralph, and with a smooth sea gale
Fled from the magic of the enchanting shore,
But whether winds or waters did prevail,
I saw the black ship ne'er returning more,
Though long I walked the margin of the main,
And long have looked--and still must look in vain!

[141] From the edition of 1809. In 1788 this was entitled "The Lost Sailor;" in 1795, "Argonauta."

THE POLITICAL BALANCE[142]

Or, The Fates of Britain and America Compared

A Tale

_Deciding Fates, in Homer's stile, we shew,
And bring contending gods once more to view._

As Jove the Olympian (who both I and you know,
Was brother to Neptune, and husband to Juno)
Was lately reviewing his papers of state,
He happened to light on the records of Fate:

In Alphabet order this volume was written--
So he opened at B, for the article Britain--
She struggles so well, said the god, I will see
What the sisters in Pluto's dominions decree.

And first, on the top of a column he read
"Of a king with a mighty soft place in his head,
"Who should join in his temper the ass and the mule,
"The third of his name, and by far the worst fool:

"His reign shall be famous for multiplication,
"The sire and the king of a whelp generation:
"But such is the will and the purpose of fate,
"For each child he begets he shall forfeit a State:

"In the course of events, he shall find to his cost
"That he cannot regain what he foolishly lost;
"Of the nations around he shall be the derision,
"And know by experience the rule of Division."

So Jupiter read--a god of first rank--
And still had read on--but he came to a blank:
For the Fates had neglected the rest to reveal--
They either forgot it, or chose to conceal:

When a leaf is torn out, or a blot on a page
That pleases our fancy, we fly in a rage--
So, curious to know what the Fates would say next,
No wonder if Jove, disappointed, was vext.

But still as true genius not frequently fails,
He glanced at the Virgin, and thought of the Scales;
And said, "To determine the will of the Fates,
"One scale shall weigh Britain, the other the States."

Then turning to Vulcan, his maker of thunder,
Said he, "My dear Vulcan, I pray you look yonder,
"Those creatures are tearing each other to pieces,
"And, instead of abating, the carnage increases.

"Now, as you are a blacksmith, and lusty stout ham-eater,
"You must make me a globe of a shorter diameter;
"The world in abridgment, and just as it stands
"With all its proportions of waters and lands;

"But its various divisions must so be designed,
"That I can unhinge it whene'er I've a mind--
"How else should I know what the portions will weigh,
"Or which of the combatants carry the day?"

Old Vulcan complied, (we've no reason to doubt it)
So he put on his apron and strait went about it--
Made center, and circles as round as a pancake,
And here the Pacific, and there the Atlantic.

An axis he hammered, whose ends were the poles,
(On which the whole body perpetually rolls)
A brazen meridian he added to these,
Where four times repeated were[143] ninety degrees.

I am sure you had laughed to have seen his droll attitude,
When he bent round the surface the circles of latitude,
The zones and the tropics, meridians, equator,
And other fine things that are drawn on salt water.

Away to the southward (instructed by Pallas)
He placed in the ocean the Terra Australis,
New Holland, New Guinea, and so of the rest--
America lay by herself in the west:

From the regions where winter eternally reigns,
To the climes of Peru he extended her plains;
Dark groves, and the zones did her bosom adorn,
And the Crosiers,[A] new burnished, he hung at Cape Horn.

[A] Stars, in the form of a cross, which mark the South Pole in
Southern latitudes.--_Freneau's note._

The weight of two oceans she bore on her sides,
With all their convulsions of tempests and tides;
Vast lakes on her surface did fearfully roll,
And the ice from her rivers surrounded the pole.

Then Europe and Asia he northward extended,
Where under the Arctic with Zembla they ended;
(The length of these regions he took with his garters,
Including Siberia, the land of the Tartars.)

In the African clime (where the cocoa-nut tree grows)
He laid down the desarts, and even the negroes,
The shores by the waves of four oceans embraced,
And elephants strolling about in the waste.

In forming East India, he had a wide scope,
Beginning his work at the cape of Good Hope;
Then eastward of that he continued his plan,
'Till he came to the empire and isles of Japan.

Adjacent to Europe he struck up an island,
(One part of it low, but the other was high land)
With many a comical creature upon it,
And one wore a hat, and another a bonnet.

Like emmits or ants in a fine summer's day,
They ever were marching in battle array,
Or skipping about on the face of the brine,
Like witches in egg-shells (their ships of the line).

These poor little creatures were all in a flame,
To the lands of America urging their claim,
Still biting, or stinging, or spreading their sails;
(For Vulcan had formed them with stings in their tails).

So poor and so lean, you might count all their ribs,[B]
Yet were so enraptured with crackers and squibs,
That Vulcan with laughter almost split asunder,
"Because they imagined their crackers were thunder."

[B] Their national debt being now above _l._ 200,000,000
sterling.--_Freneau's note._

Due westward from these, with a channel between,
A servant to slaves, Hibernia was seen,
Once crowded with monarchs, and high in renown,
But all she retained was the Harp and the Crown!

Insulted forever by nobles and priests,[144]
And managed by bullies, and governed by beasts,
She looked!--to describe her I hardly know how--
Such an image of death in the scowl on her brow.

For scaffolds and halters were full in her view,
And the fiends of perdition their cutlasses drew:
And axes and gibbets around her were placed,
And the demons of murder her honours defaced.
With the blood of the worthy her mantle was stained,
And hardly a trace of her beauty remained.

Her genius, a female, reclined in the shade,
And, sick of oppression,[145] so mournfully played,
That Jove was uneasy to hear her complain,
And ordered his blacksmith to loosen her chain:

Then tipt her a wink, saying, "Now is your time,
"(To rebel is the sin, to revolt is no crime)
"When your fetters are off, if you dare not be free
"Be a slave and be damned,[146] but complain not to me."

But finding her timid, he cried in a rage--
"Though the doors are flung open, she stays in the cage!
"Subservient to Britain then let her remain,
"And her freedom shall be, but the choice[147] of her chain,"

At length, to discourage all stupid pretensions,
Jove looked at the globe, and approved its dimensions,
And cried in a transport--"Why what have we here!
"Friend Vulcan, it is a most beautiful sphere!

"Now while I am busy in taking apart
"This globe that is formed with such exquisite art,
"Go, Hermes, to Libra, (you're one of her gallants)
"And ask, in my name, for the loan of her balance."

Away posted Hermes, as swift as the gales,
And as swiftly returned with the ponderous scales,
And hung them aloft to a beam in the air,
So equally poised, they had turned with a hair.

Now Jove to Columbia his shoulders applied,
But aiming to lift her, his strength she defied--
Then, turning about to their godships, he says--
"A body so vast is not easy to raise;

"But if you assist me, I still have a notion
"Our forces, united, can put her in motion,
"And swing her aloft, (though alone I might fail)
"And place her, in spite of her bulk, in our scale;

"If six years together the Congress have strove,
"And more than divided the empire with Jove;
"With a Jove like myself, who am nine times as great,
"You can join, like their soldiers, to heave up this weight."

So to it they went, with handspikes and levers,
And upward she sprung, with her mountains and rivers!
Rocks, cities, and islands, deep waters and shallows,
Ships, armies, and forests, high heads and fine fellows:

"Stick to it!" cries Jove, "now heave one and all!
"At least we are lifting 'one-eighth of the ball!'
"If backward she tumbles--then trouble begins,
"And then have a care, my dear boys, of your shins!"

When gods are determined what project can fail?
So they gave a hard shove, and she mounted the scale;
Suspended aloft, Jove viewed her with awe--
And the gods,[C] for their pay, had a hearty--huzza!

[C] American soldiers.--_Freneau's note._

But Neptune bawled out--"Why Jove you're a noddy,
"Is Britain sufficient to poise that vast body?
"'Tis nonsense such castles to build in the air--
"As well might an oyster with Britain compare."

"Away to your waters, you blustering bully,"
Said Jove, "or I'll make you repent of your folly,
"Is Jupiter, Sir, to be tutored by you?--
"Get out of my sight, for I know what to do!"

Then searching about with his fingers for Britain,
Thought he, "this same island I cannot well hit on;
"The devil take him who first called her the Great:
"If she was--she is vastly diminished of late!"

Like a man that is searching his thigh for a flea.
He peeped and he fumbled, but nothing could see;
At last he exclaimed--"I am surely upon it--
"I think I have hold of a Highlander's bonnet."

But finding his error, he said with a sigh,
"This bonnet is only the island of Skie!"[D]
So away to his namesake the planet he goes,
And borrowed two moons to hang on his nose.

[D] An Island on the north-west of Scotland.--_Freneau's note._

Through these, as through glasses, he saw her quite clear,
And in raptures cried out--"I have found her--she's here!
"If this be not Britain, then call me an ass--
"She looks like a gem in an ocean of glass.

"But, faith, she's so small I must mind how I shake her;
"In a box I'll inclose her, for fear I should break her:
"Though a god, I might suffer for being aggressor,
"Since scorpions, and vipers, and hornets possess her;

"The white cliffs of Albion I think I descry--
"And the hills of Plinlimmon appear rather nigh--
"But, Vulcan, inform me what creatures are these,
"That smell so of onions, and garlick, and cheese?"

Old Vulcan replied--"Odds splutter a nails!
"Why, these are the Welch, and the country is Wales!
"When Taffy is vext, no devil is ruder--
"Take care how you trouble the offspring of Tudor!

"On the crags of the mountains _hur_ living _hur_ seeks,
"_Hur_ country is planted with garlick and leeks;
"So great is _hur_ choler, beware how you teaze _hur_,
"For these are the Britons--unconquered by Caesar."[148]

"But now, my dear Juno, pray give me my mittens,
"(These insects I am going to handle are Britons)
"I'll draw up their isle with a finger and thumb,
"As the doctor extracts an old tooth from the gum."

Then he raised her aloft--but to shorten our tale,
She looked like a clod in the opposite scale--
Britannia so small, and Columbia so large--
A ship of first rate, and a ferryman's barge!

Cried Pallas to Vulcan, "Why, Jove's in a dream--
"Observe how he watches the turn of the beam!
"Was ever a mountain outweighed by a grain?
"Or what is a drop when compared to the main?"

But Momus alledged--"In my humble opinion,
"You should add to Great-Britain her foreign dominion,
"When this is appended, perhaps she will rise,
"And equal her rival in weight and in size."

"Alas! (said the monarch), your project is vain,
"But little is left of her foreign domain;
"And, scattered about in the liquid expanse,
"That little is left to the mercy of France;

"However, we'll lift them, and give her fair play"--
And soon in the scale with their mistress they lay;
But the gods were confounded and struck with surprise,
And Vulcan could hardly believe his own eyes!

For (such was the purpose and guidance of fate)
Her foreign dominions diminished her weight--
By which it appeared, to Britain's disaster,
Her foreign possessions were changing their master.

Then, as he replaced them, said Jove with a smile--
"Columbia shall never be ruled by an isle--
"But vapours and darkness around her may rise,
"And tempests conceal her awhile from our eyes;

"So locusts in Egypt their squadrons display,
"And rising, disfigure the face of the day;
"So the moon, at her full, has a frequent eclipse,
"And the sun in the ocean diurnally dips.

"Then cease your endeavours, ye vermin of Britain--
(And here, in derision, their island he spit on)
"'Tis madness to seek what you never can find,
"Or to think of uniting what nature disjoined;

"But still you may flutter awhile with your wings,
"And spit out your venom and brandish your stings:
"Your hearts are as black, and as bitter as gall,
"A curse to mankind--and a blot on the Ball."[E]

[E] It is hoped that such a sentiment may not be deemed wholly
illiberal--Every candid person will certainly _draw a line
between a brave and magnanimous people, and a most vicious
and vitiating government_. Perhaps the following extract
from a pamphlet lately published in London and republished
at Baltimore (June, 1809) by Mr. _Bernard Dornin_, will
place the preceding sentiment in a fair point of view:

"A better spirit than exists in the English people, never
existed in any people in the world; it has been misdirected,
and squandered upon party purposes in the most degrading and
scandalous manner; they have been led to believe that they
were benefiting the commerce of England by destroying the
commerce of America, that they were defending their
sovereign by perpetuating the bigoted oppression of their
fellow subjects; their rulers and their guides have told
them that they would equal the vigour of France by equalling
her atrocity, and they have gone on, wasting that opulence,
patience and courage, which if husbanded by prudent, and
moderate counsels, might have proved the salvation of
mankind. The same policy of turning the good qualities of
Englishmen to their own destruction, which made Mr. Pitt
omnipotent, continues his power to those who resemble him
only in his vices; advantage is taken of the loyalty of
Englishmen, to make them meanly submissive; their piety is
turned into persecution; their courage into useless and
obstinate contention; they are plundered because they are
ready to pay, and soothed into assinine stupidity because
they are full of virtuous patience. If England must perish
at last, so let it be: that event is in the hands of God; we
must dry up our tears, and submit. But that England should
perish swindling and stealing; that it should perish waging
war against lazar-houses and hospitals; that it should
perish persecuting with monastic bigotry; that it should
calmly give itself up to be ruined by the flashy arrogance
of one man, and the narrow fanaticism of another: these
events are within the power of human beings, but I did not
think that the magnanimity of Englishmen would ever stoop to
such degradations."--_Freneau's note._

[142] This poem appeared in the April 3, 1782, issue of the _Freeman's Journal_, filling the entire first page of the paper. I have followed the text of the 1809 edition.

[143] "On which were engraven twice."--_Ed. 1786._

[144] This and the nine following lines were written for the edition of 1809.

[145] "Merely for music."--_Ed. 1786._

[146] "If you will,"--_Ib._

[147] "Length."--_Ed. 1786._

[148] In the 1786 edition there was inserted at this point the following stanza omitted in the later versions:

"Jove peep'd thro' his moons, and examin'd their features,
And said, 'By my truth, they are wonderful creatures,
'The beards are so long that encircle their throats,
'That (unless they are Welchmen) I swear they are _goats_.'"

DIALOGUE AT HYDE-PARK CORNER[149]

(London)

_Burgoyne_

Let those who will, be proud and sneer
And call you an unwelcome peer,
But I am glad to see you here:
The prince that fills the British throne,
Unless successful, honours none;
Poor Jack Burgoyne!--you're not alone.

_Cornwallis_

Thy ships, De Grasse, have caused my grief--
To rebel shores and their relief
There never came a luckier chief:
In fame's black page it shall be read,
By Gallic arms my soldiers bled--
The rebels thine in triumph led.

_Burgoyne_

Our fortunes different forms assume,
I called and called for elbow-room,[150]
Till Gates discharged me to my doom;[151]
But you, that conquered far and wide,
In little York thought fit to hide,
The subject ocean at your side.

_Cornwallis_

And yet no force had gained that post--
Not Washington, his country's boast,
Nor Rochambeau, with all his host,
Nor all the Gallic fleet's parade--
Had Clinton hurried to my aid,
And Sammy Graves been not afraid.

_Burgoyne_

For head knocked off, or broken bones,
Or mangled corpse, no price atones;
Nor all that prattling rumour says,
Nor all the piles that art can raise,
The poet's or the parson's praise.

_Cornwallis_

Though I am brave, as well as you,
Yet still I think your notion true;
Dear brother Jack, our toils are o'er--
With foreign conquests plagued no more,
We'll stay and guard our native shore.

[149] Text from the edition of 1809. The poem first appeared in the _Freeman's Journal_, April 24, 1782.

[150] See Vol. I, page 166, note.

[151]

"Had I been blest with _elbow-room_,
I might have found a different doom."--_Ed. 1786._

ON THE LATE ROYAL SLOOP OF WAR GENERAL MONK[152]

(Formerly the Washington)

Mounting Six Quarter Deck Wooden Guns

When the _Washington_ ship by the English was beat,
They sent her to England to shew their great feat,
And Sandwich straitway, as a proof of his spunk,
Dashed out her old name, and called her the _Monk_.

"This _Monk_ hated Rebels (said Sandy)--'od rot 'em--
"So heave her down quickly, and copper her bottom;
"With the sloops of our navy we'll have her enrolled,
"And manned with picked sailors to make her feel bold;

"To shew that our king is both valiant and good,
"Some guns shall be iron, and others be wood,
"And, in truth, (though I wish not the secret to spread)
"All her guns should be wooden--to suit with his head."

[152] First published in the _Freeman's Journal_, April 24, 1782. On April 10, the Journal contained the following account of the battle:

"Yesterday the _Hyder Ally_, a vessel fitted out for the protection of this river and its trade, returned to Chester after a severe conflict with a vessel of superior force, which with great gallantry and good conduct on the part of Capt. Barney and his crew, has been captured and brought into port. The particulars of the action, as far as we have been able to collect them, are that a fleet of merchantmen, having proceeded down the bay, were met by an enemy's frigate of forty guns, with the _General Monk_, Sloop of War, and _Fair American_, privateer; the _General Monk_ having eighteen nine pounders and one hundred and fifty men. The fleet endeavored to return, but were pursued by the frigate, sloop, and privateer. The _Fair American_ being engaged with one of the fleet, and the frigate being at a considerable distance, gave the _Hyder Ally_ an opportunity to attack the _General Monk_ singly, which Capt. Barney embraced, and after a very close and brave attack of about thirty minutes, the _General Monk_ surrendered to her inferior adversary. The _General Monk_ had fifty-three men killed and wounded, among whom are most of the officers; on board the _Hyder Ally_ there were fifteen killed and wounded. A brig, one of the fleet, was taken, and the _General Greene_ left engaged with the _Fair American_. The conduct of Capt. Barney has given the greatest satisfaction and shows him truly worthy of the trust committed to him."

TRUTH ANTICIPATED[153][A]

A Rivingtonian Dialogue

[A] "Occasioned by the naval victory gained by Admiral Rodney
and Capt. Cornwallis, of the British fleet in the West
Indies, over the squadron of Count De Grasse."--_Freneau's
note to 1809 edition._

What brilliant events have of late come to pass,
No less than the capture of Monsieur de Grasse!
His majesty's printer has told it for true,
As we had it from him, so we give it to you.

Many folks of discernment the story believed,
And the devil himself it at first had deceived,
Had it not been that Satan imported the stuff,
And signed it George Rodney, by way of high proof.[154]

Said Satan to Jemmy, "Let's give them the whappers--
"Some news I have got that will bring in the coppers,
"And truth it shall be, though I pass it for lies,
"And making a page of your newspaper size.

"A wide field is open to favour my plan,
"And the rebels may prove that I lie--if they can;
"Since they jested and laughed at our lying before,
"Let it pass for a lie, to torment them the more.

"My wings are yet wet with the West-India dew,
"And Rodney I left, to come hither to you,
"I left him bedeviled with brimstone and smoke,
"The French in distress, and their armament broke.