Chapter IV: Part 4

He's no a man to ride the water wi'.

"A phrase applied to one who, it is believed, cannot be depended
on."--_Jamieson._

He's no a stirk o' the right stock.

"I was a friendless lad, and ye took me by the hand,--and could I
sit still and see scathe befa' my benefactor, I wouldna be a stirk
o' the right stock, that's bred on the land o' Scotland."--_Sir
Andrew Wylie._

He's no gude to creel eggs wi'.

"Not safe or easy to deal with."--_Jamieson._

He's no nice but needfu'.

He's no sae daft as he lets on.

He's no steel to the bane.

He's no the best wright that casts maist spails.

He's no the fool that the fool is, but he that wi' the fool deals.

He's no the happiest wha has maist gear.

He's no worth kissing caps wi'.

To "kiss caps wi'," is to keep company with, to associate together
in drinking.

He's out and in, like a dog at a fair.

He's ower auld a cat to draw a strae before.

"The rents and the lands are but a sair fash to me," re-echoed
Ailie; "and I'm ower failed to tak a helpmate, though Wylie
Mactrickit, the writer, was very pressing, and spak very civilly;
but I'm ower auld a cat to draw that strae before me--he canna
whilliwhaw me as he's done mony a ane."--_Old Mortality._

He's ower-shot wi' his ain bow.

Overreached with his own weapons.

He's ower soon up that's hanged ere noon.

He's soger bred but major minded.

He's ta'en a start and an owerloup.

"The usual expression for a slight encroachment on a neighbour's
property."--_Sir Walter Scott._

He speaks like a prent book.

He speaks in his drink what he thinks in his drouth.

He spoke as if every word would lift a dish.

In allusion to a person who has addressed another in a very pompous
or affected manner.

He's poor enough that's ill faur'd.

He's poor that canna promise.

He's rich that has nae debt.

He's sairest dung that's paid wi' his ain wand.

That is, he suffers most who injures himself by his own folly, or by
means which may have been intended to injure another.

He's silly that spares for ilka speech.

He's sometimes i' the air, but ye're aye on the grund.

He's the bee that maks the honey.

He's the best spoke o' your wheel.

He's the slave o' a slaves wha ser's nane but himsel.

He's twice fain that sits on a stane.

"That is, glad to sit down, because he is weary, and glad to rise,
because the stone is hard."--_Kelly._

He starts at straes, and lets windlins gae.

This saying is, we think, exclusively Scotch. It very briefly but
pithily applies to those who, while anxiously correcting trifling
errors, allow greater ones to pass unheeded: who strain at gnats,
and swallow camels.

He streaks reem in my teeth.

"Spoken when we think one only flattering us, and not earnest or
sincere in what they pretend."--_Kelly._

He struts like a craw in the gutter.

He stumbles at a strae and loups ower a linn.

He's unco fond o' farming that wad harrow wi' the cat.

He's unco fu' in his ain house that canna pick a bane in his neighbour's.

Satirically applied to those who are unwilling to partake of a meal
in a friend's house.

He's waur to water than to corn.

Fonder of his meat than his drink.

He's weel boden there ben that will neither borrow nor lend.

Meaning that a person must be very well off indeed who can afford to
dispense with all assistance.

He's weel eased that has o' his ain.

He's weel worthy o' sorrow that buys it wi' his ain siller.

He's wise that kens when he's weel enough.

"This is a pitch of wisdom to which few attain."--_Kelly._

He's wise that's timely wary.

He's worth gowd that can win it.

He's worth nae weel that can bide nae wae.

He that ance gets his fingers i' the dirt can hardly get them out again.

He that bides weel betides weel.

He that bids me to meat wishes me to live.

He that blaws best bears awa the horn.

He that blaws in the stoor fills his ain een.

He that borrows and bigs, maks feasts and thigs, drinks an's no dry,--nane o' these three are thrifty.

He that buys a house that's wrought has mony a pin and nail for nought.

He that buys land buys stanes; he that buys beef buys banes; he that buys nuts buys shells; he that buys gude ale buys naething else.

He that can hear Dumbuck may hear Dumbarton.

Dumbuck Hill, in Argyleshire, is farther from Glasgow (the _locale_
of this saying) than Dumbarton: proverbially applied to those who
are better acquainted with circumstances than they pretend to be,
but who, in their anxiety to gain more information, betray
themselves.

He that canna do as he would maun do as he may.

He that canna gie favours should seek nane.

He that canna mak sport should mar nane.

He that cheats in daffin winna be honest in earnest.

He that cheats me ance, shame fa' him; he that cheats me twice, shame fa' me.

He that comes first to the ha' may sit where he will.

He that comes o' hens maun scrape.

He that counts a' costs will ne'er put plough i' the grund.

"He that forecasts all difficulties that he may meet with in his
business will never set about it."--_Kelly._

He that counts without his host may have to count twice.

He that deals in dirt has aye foul fingers.

He that does as he's bidden deserves nae bannin'.

He that does his turn in time sits half idle.

He that doesna mind corn pickles never comes to forpits.

"Get a large sheet of paper, man, and make a new pen, with a sharp
neb, and a fine hair-stroke. Do not slit the quill up too high, it's
a wastrife course in your trade, Andrew. They that do not mind corn
pickles never come to forpits. I have known a learned man write a
thousand pages with one quill."--_Fortunes of Nigel._

He that does you an ill turn will ne'er forgie you.

He that drinks when he's no dry will be dry when he has nae drink.

He that eats a boll o' meal in bannocks eats a peck o' dirt.

He that eats but ae dish seldom needs the doctor.

He that fa's in a gutter, the langer he lies the dirtier he is.

He that fishes before the net, fishes lang or he fish get.

He that gapes till he be fed may gape till he be dead.

He that gets forgets, but he that wants thinks on.

He that gets gear before he gets wit is but a short time maister o't.

He that gies a' his gear to his bairns, tak up a beetle and ding out his harns.

"Taken from the history of one John Bell, who, having given his
substance to his children, was by them neglected. After he died
there was found in his chest a mallet with this inscription,--

"'I, John Bell, leave here a mell, the man to fell,
Who gives all to his bairns, and keeps nothing to himsel.'"
--_Kelly._

He that grapes in the dark may fyle his fingers.

He that hains his dinner will hae the mair to his supper.

He that has a bonnie wife needs mair than twa een.

He that has a dog at hame may gang to the kirk wi' a clean breast.

He that has ae sheep in a flock will like a' the lave the better for't.

"Spoken when we have a son at such a school, university, army, or
society, we will wish the prosperity of these respective bodies upon
his account."--_Kelly._

He that has a goose will get a goose.

Or, he that is rich already has legacies left him; as, "The fat
sow's tail's aye creash'd."

He that has a gude crap may thole some thistles.

He that has been very fortunate can easily put up with slight
drawbacks.

He that has a muckle nose thinks ilka ane speaks o't.

"People who are sensible of their guilt are always full of
suspicion."--_Kelly._

He that has a wide wame ne'er had a lang arm.

That is, a corpulent person is never very active.

He that has a wife has a maister.

"He that's not sensible of the truth of this proverb may blot it out
or pass it over."--_Kelly._

He that has but ae ee maun tent it weel.

He that has gall in his mouth canna spit honey.

He that has his hand in the lion's mouth maun tak it out the best way he can.

Meaning that he who has willingly jeopardized himself must extricate
himself without assistance.

He that has horns in his bosom needna put them on his head.

He that has just enough can soundly sleep; the owercome only fashes folk to keep.

He that has muckle wad aye hae mair.

He that hasna purse to fine may hae flesh to pine.

"'It will be nonsense fining me,' said Andrew, doughtily, 'that
hasna a grey groat to pay a fine wi'--it's ill taking the breeks aff
a Hielandman.' 'If ye hae nae purse to fine, ye hae flesh to pine,'
replied the bailie, 'and I will look weel to ye getting your deserts
the tae way or the tither.'"--_Rob Roy._

He that hasna siller in his purse should hae silk on his tongue.

He that has routh o' butter may butter his bread on baith sides.

He that has siller in his purse may want a head on his shouthers.

He that has twa hoards can get a third.

He that hath and winna keep it, he that wants and winna seek it, he that drinks and is not dry, siller shall want as well as I.

He that hews abune his head may get a spail in his ee.

He who aims at things beyond his power may be injured by his
projects.

He that hides kens whaur to seek.

He that ill does never gude weens.

He who is in the habit of ill-doing himself always has a bad opinion
of others.

He that invented the maiden first handselled her.

James, Earl of Morton, who invented the "maiden" or guillotine, was
the first who suffered by it.

He that isna handsome at twenty, strong at thirty, wise at forty, rich at fifty, will never be handsome, strong, wise, or rich.

He that keeks through a keyhole may see what will vex him.

"He who looks through a hole will discover his dole."--_Spanish._

He that keeps the cat's dish keeps her aye crying.

He that kens what will be cheap or dear, needs be a merchant but for half-a-year.

As the exercise of his foresight will enable him to acquire a
competency in that time.

He that kisses his wife at the market cross will hae mony to teach him.

He that lacks my mare may buy my mare.

Used when a person disparages an article that he may secure it to
himself.

He that laughs alane will mak sport in company.

He that lends his pot may seethe his kail in his loof.

He that lends money to a friend has a double loss.

Because he loses both his money and his friend.

He that lends you hinders you to buy.

He that lippens to chance lippens his back to a slap.

He that lippens to lent ploughs may hae his land lang lea.

He that relies on favours being granted is liable to disappointment.

He that lives on hope has a slim diet.

He that lo'es law will soon get his fill o't.

He that looks not ere he loup will fa' ere he wat.

He that looks to freets, freets will follow him.

"He that notices superstitious observances (such as spilling of
salt, Childermass day, or the like) it will fall to him
accordingly."--_Kelly._

He that maks friends fear'd o' his wit should be fear'd o' their memories.

He that marries a beggar gets a louse for a tocher.

He that marries a daw eats muckle dirt.

He who is connected with a "daw," or drab, has many troubles to put
up with.

He that marries a widow and twa dochters has three back doors to his house.

Or, as Kelly quotes, "three stark thieves; because his wife will put
away things to them, or for them."

He that marries a widow will hae a dead man's head often thrown in his dish.

He that marries before he's wise will dee ere he thrive.

He that middles wi' tulzies may come in for the redding stroke.

To "middle with tulzies" is to interfere with quarrelsome people;
the chances are that a person who does so will come off at a loss.

He that never eats flesh thinks harigals a feast.

Parallel to the English proverb, "He who never eats flesh thinks
pudding a dainty."

He that never rade never fell.

He that never thinks will ne'er be wise.

He that oppresses honesty ne'er had ony.

He that pays his debt begins to mak a stock.

He that pays last ne'er pays twice.

He that pities another minds himsel.

He that plants trees lo'es ithers beside himsel.

He that plays wi' fools and bairns maun e'en play at the chucks.

When a man mixes with children, or fools or rogues, he must adapt
himself to them.

"What signifies what I desired, man? when a wise man is with fules
and bairns, he maun e'en play at the chucks. But you should have had
mair sense and consideration than to gie Babie Charles and Steenie
their ain gate; they wad hae floored the very rooms wi' silver, and
I wonder they didna."--_Fortunes of Nigel._

He that pleads his ain cause has a fool for his client.

He that puts the cat in the pock kens best how to tak her out.

He that puts on the public gown maun aff the private person.

A maxim of proverbial philosophy which many persons in petty
authority might practise with advantage--to the public.

He that rides ahint anither doesna saddle when he pleases.

That is, he who is dependent on another must submit to his
superior's authority.

He that rides or he be ready wants aye some o' his graith.

He that's angry opens his mouth and steeks his een.

That is, vents himself in abuse without looking into the details of
the case.

He that's aught the cow gangs nearest the tail.

He that has most interest in an undertaking or property is willing
to run a greater risk than he that has none.

He that says what he likes will hear what he doesna like.

He that's born to a plack 'll ne'er get a pound.

He that's born to be hanged will never be drowned.

He that's crabbit without cause should mease without amends.

He that seeks alms for Godsake begs for twa.

He that seeks motes gets motes.

He that seeks trouble 'twere a pity he should miss it.

He that sells his wares for words maun live by the loss.

He that's far frae his gear is near his skaith.

A man who is away from his property, or not sufficiently careful of
it, is liable to be wronged in his absence.

He that's first up's no aye first ser'd.

He that shames, let him be shent.

"An old Scottish proverb not now used, scarcely understood: a wish
that he who exposes his neighbour may come to shame
himself."--_Kelly._

He that shows his purse tempts the thief.

He that's ill o' his harboury is gude at the way-kenning.

He that is unwilling that a visitor or friend should remain in his
house, is very ready to give information as to the way home, and the
advantages of following it.

He that's ill to himsel will be gude to naebody.

He that sleeps wi' dogs maun rise wi' flaes.

Or, he who keeps bad company will be contaminated by it.

He that's mann'd wi' boys and hors'd wi' colts will hae his meat eaten and his wark ill done.

In sarcastic allusion to those who entrust matters of importance to
youthful or inexperienced persons. "Because," as Kelly says, "the
boy will neglect his business, and the colt will throw him."

He that's no my friend at a pinch is no my friend at a'.

He that spares to speak spares to speed.

That is, he who is afraid to speak for his own advancement when an
opportunity occurs, does injury to himself.

He that speaks the thing he shouldna will hear the thing he wouldna.

He that speaks to himsel speaks to a fool.

He that speaks wi' a draunt an' sells wi' a cant, is right like a snake in the skin o' a saunt.

This humorous but withal libellous expression of opinion literally
means, that they who speak in drawling, canting terms are wolves in
sheep's clothing.

He that speers a' gets wit but o' pairt.

He that speers a' opinions comes ill speed.

He that spends before he thrives will beg before he thinks.

He that spends his gear before he gets 't will hae but little gude o't.

He that spits against the wind spits in his ain face.

He that's poor when he's married shall be rich when he's buried.

He that's rede for windlestraes should never sleep on leas.

Equivalent to the English saying, "He that's afraid of the wagging
of feathers must keep from among wild fowl;" and the Dutch one, "He
who is afraid of leaves must not go to the wood."

He that's scant o' wind shouldna meddle wi' the chanter.

A "chanter" is the drone of a bagpipe, and a good supply of wind is
required to fill it. Proverbially applied to those who undertake
more than they are able to accomplish.

He that steals a preen may steal a better thing.

He that steals can hide.

He that strikes my dog wad strike mysel if he daur'd.

He that stumbles twice at ae stane deserves to break his shin bane.

For not removing the stumbling-block at first.

He that's welcome fares weel.

He that thinks in his bed has a day without a night.

He that tholes owercomes.

To "thole" is to suffer or endure.

He that tigs wi' a stranger pays the smart.

He that tigs wi' the tailor gets a button in his sleeve.

He that tines his siller is thought to hae tint his wit.

Meaning that he who willingly loses or risks money is readily
supposed to be a fool.

He that wants content canna sit easy in his chair.

He that wants to strike a dog ne'er wants stick.

He that wears black maun wear a brush on his back.

He that will be angry for onything will be angry for naething.

He that will to Cupar maun to Cupar.

Applied to foolish or reckless persons who persist in carrying on
projects in the face of certain failure, of which they have been
duly advised. Why Cupar, the capital of the kingdom of Fife, should
have been selected as typical of such "pig-headedness," we are
unable to say.

He that winna be counselled canna be helped.

He that winna hear Mother Hood shall hear Stepmother Hood.

"That is, they who will not be prevailed upon by fair means, shall
meet with harsher treatment."--_Kelly._

He that winna lout and lift a preen will ne'er be worth a groat.

That is, he who despises trifles will never be rich.

He that winna thole maun flit mony a hole.

He who will not bear the crosses of the world patiently only
increases his sorrows in trying to evade them.

He that winna use the means maun dree the moans.

He that winna when he may, shanna when he wad.

"Spoken of him who has refused a good offer, and then would have it
again."--_Kelly._

He that woos a maiden maun come seldom in her sight: he that woos a widow maun ply her day and night.

He that would climb the tree maun tak care o' his grip.

He that would eat the kernal maun crack the nut.

He that would pu' the rose maun sometimes be scarted wi' the thorns.

He thinks himsel nae sheepshank.

Spoken of conceited persons who think themselves of great
consequence.

He tines bottles gathering straes.

A variation of "He starts at straes, and lets windlins gae." "Ye hae
found it to your cost, that she is a most unreasonable, narrow,
contracted woman, and wi' a' her 'conomical througality--her
direction-books to mak grozart wine for deil-be-licket, and her Katy
Fisher's cookery, whereby she would gar us trow she can mak fat kail
o' chucky-stanes and an auld horse-shoe--we a' ken, and ye ken,
laird, warst o' a', that she flings away the pease, and maks her
hotch-potch wi' the shawps, or, as the auld byeword says, tynes
bottles gathering straes."--_The Entail._

Het kail cauld, nine days auld, spell ye _that_ in four letters.

The key to this childish puzzle is to be found in the word _that_:
it has no deeper meaning.

Het love, hasty vengeance.

Het sup, het swallow.

He wad gang a mile to flit a sow.

"Spoken of sauntering persons, who would take any pretence to go
from their proper business."--_Kelly._

He was miss'd by the water, but caught by the widdie.

He has escaped drowning only to be hanged, as "He that is to be
hanged will never be drowned--unless the water goes over the
gallows."--_Dutch._

He wasna the inventor o' gunpowder.

Meaning that a person is very timid or cowardly.

He was ne'er a gude aiver that flung at the brod.

"Spoken of them who spurn at reproof or correction, whom Solomon
calls brutish."--_Kelly._

He was scant o' grey cloth that soled his hose wi' dockens.

"The return of a haughty maid to them that tell her of an unworthy
suitor."--_Kelly._

He was scant o' news that tauld his faither was hang'd.

"They're scarce of news who speak ill of their mother."--_Irish._

He was the bee that made the honey.

He watsna whilk end o' him's upmost.

He does not know whether he stands on his head or his heels.

He wears Langton's coat o' mail.

"Once, in a skirmish with the English, the Laird of Langton, being
unarmed, turned his coat inside out, to make his opponents believe
he had on a coat of mail, and so rushed on to the fray. By
'Langton's coat of mail,' is meant a presumptuous but brave
man."--_G. Henderson._

He wears twa faces aneath ae cowl.

He wha mair than his worth doth spend, aiblins a rape his life will end.

He wha marries a maiden marries a pockfu' o' pleasure; he wha marries a widow marries a pockfu' o' _pleas_-sure.

"These two are always joined together, and are a dissuasive from
marrying a widow, because she is often involved in law
suits."--_Kelly._

He wha marries for love without money, hath merry nights and sorry days.

He wha tells his wife a' is but newly married.

He winna send you away wi' a fair heart.

Or, he will not grant you the favour you are going to seek.

He woos for cake and pudding.

He would fain be forward if he wist how.

He would fain rip up auld sairs.

That is, gladly rake up old grievances, to enable him to pick a
quarrel.

He would gar you trow that the mune's made o' green cheese.

Applied to simple, credulous people, who readily believe the most
absurd statements.

He wouldna lend his gully,--no! to the deil to stick himsel.

In sarcastic allusion to those who decline to oblige borrowers, and
who carry their principles so far that they "would not lend the
devil a knife to cut his throat."--_Italian._

He would need to be twice sheeled and ance grund that deals wi' you.

He would rake hell for a bodle.

He would skin a louse for the tallow o't.

In allusion to greedy, parsimonious people, who would rather be put
to a great deal of trouble than incur a trifling expense.

He would tine his lugs if they were not tacked to him.

He is so careless and forgetful, that he would lose his ears were
they not attached to his head.

He's horn deaf on that side o' his head.

That is, he is wilfully deaf on that subject.

Highest in the court, nearest the widdie.

Highlanders--shoulder to shoulder.

High trees show mair leaves than fruit.

In disparaging allusion to tall persons.

His absence is gude company.

His auld brass will buy her a new pan.

Spoken of young maidens who marry wealthy old men, meaning that when
the husband dies his money will help her to a younger one.

"Though auld Rob Morris be an elderly man,
Yet his auld brass it will buy you a new pan;
Then, doughter, you shouldna be so ill to shoo,
For auld Rob Morris is the man ye maun loo."
--_Tea-Table Miscellany._

His bark's waur nor his bite.

"'Hout, mother,' said Hobbie, 'Elshie's no that bad a chield; he's a
grewsome spectacle for a crooked disciple, to be sure, and a rough
talker; but his bark is waur than his bite.'"--_The Black Dwarf._

His corn's a' caff.

"I'll lay my lugs that's the true reason, and brawly does he ken his
corn's a' caff, or he wadna keep the sack mouth tied, and try to put
us aff wi' bletheration."

His e'ening sang and his morning sang are no baith alike.

His eggs hae a' twa yolks.

His geese are a' swans.

Or, his stories are all of a Munchausen order, told more for the
sake of effect than of truth.

His head will never fill his faither's bonnet.

His head's in a creel.

"My senses wad be in a creel,
Should I but dare a hope to speel
Wi' Allan, or wi' Gilbertfield,
The braes o' fame;
Or Ferguson, the writer chiel,
A deathless name."--_Burns._

His heart's in his hose.

His meal's a' daigh.

His purse and his palate are ill met.

As the first is light, while the second is heavy.

His room's better than his company.

His tongue's nae slander.

For his bad character or motives are so well known that none would
believe him were he to speak ill of a person.

His wame thinks his wizen's cut.

This humorous saying is expressive of the most extreme hunger, when
the belly has come to the conclusion that the throat has been cut,
and all further supply of food stopped.

His wit gat wings and would hae flown, but pinchin' poortith pu'd him down.

Honest men marry soon, wise men never.

Honesty hauds lang the gate.

To "haud the gate" is to "maintain the even tenor of your way."

Honesty may be dear bought, but can ne'er be an ill pennyworth.

Honesty's the best policy.

Honours change manners.

Hooly and fairly gangs far in a day.

"Working constantly, though soberly (slowly), will despatch a great
deal of business."--_Kelly._

Hooly and fairly men ride far journeys.

Hope hauds up the head.

Hope is sawin' while death is mawin'.

Hope weel and hae weel.

Horns an' grey hair dinna aye come o' years.

Horses are gude o' a' hues.

"A good horse ne'er had a bad colour."--_English._

Hotter war sooner peace.

Hout your dogs and bark yoursel.

"A sharp return to those that say 'Hout' to us, which is a word of
contempt; in Latin, _apage!_"--_Kelly._

Humble worth and honest pride gar presumption stand aside.

Hunger is hard in a hale maw.

Or, to a healthy stomach.

Hunger me, and I'll harry thee.

"If servants get not their meat honestly and decently, they will
neglect their master's business, or embezzle his goods."--_Kelly._

Hunger never fails of a gude cook.

Hunger's gude kitchen.

"Hunger is the best sauce."--_English._

Hunger's gude kitchen to a cauld potato, but a wet divot to the lowe o' love.

That is, hunger is good sauce for common meat, but a wet turf
(_vulgariter_, "a damper") to love.

Hunger will break through stane wa's.

The English add to this, "or anything except a Suffolk cheese."

Hungry dogs are blythe o' bursten puddins.

"To him who is hungry any bread seems good, or none comes
amiss."--_Ray._

Hungry folk are soon angry.

Hungry stewards wear mony shoon.

I ance gied a dog his hansel, an' he was hanged ere night.

Used as a reason for not giving a gratuity, intimating that it would
harm rather than benefit a person.

I bake nae bread by your shins.

Or, I am not indebted to you for any obligation.

I brought him aff the moor for God's sake, and he begins to bite the bairns.

"Spoken when they whom we have supported make unhandsome and
unthankful returns."--_Kelly._

I canna afford ye baith tale and lugs.

Spoken to a person who is inattentive to what has been said to him,
and who asks to have it repeated.

I canna baith spin an' rin.

I canna sell the cow an' sup the milk.

"He cannot eat his cake and have it."--_English._

I can scarce believe ye, ye speak so fair.

I can see as far into a millstane as he that pick'd it.

I carena whether the fire gae about the roast, or the roast gae about the fire, if the meat be ready.

That is, no matter what means are employed to accomplish an end, so
that it be done.

I carena whether the tod worry the goose, or the goose worry the tod.

I could hae done that mysel, but no sae weel.

I deny that wi' baith hands and a' my teeth.

Expressive of the most emphatic denial.

Idle dogs worry sheep.

Idle young, needy auld.

If a' be weel I'll be wyteless.

"Spoken with a suspicion that all will not be well, and if so, I
have no hand in it."--_Kelly._

If a' bowls row right.

"Ye are right, Mr Owen--ye are right; ye speak weel and wisely; and
I trust bowls will row right, though they are awee ajee
e'enow."--_Rob Roy._

If ae sheep loup the dyke, a' the rest will follow.

If a gude man thrive, a' thrives wi' him.

If a lee could hae chokit you, ye wad hae been dead langsyne.

An indirect or jocular manner of intimating to a person that he is
guilty of falsehood.

If a man's gaun down the brae ilka ane gies him a jundie.

"If" an' "an" spoil mony a gude charter.

If ane winna, anither will; sae are maidens married.

If ane winna, anither will--the morn's the market day.

If a' thing's true, _that's_ nae lee.

A saying expressive of unbelief of some improbable story.

If a' things were to be done twice, ilka ane wad be wise.

If a' your hums and haws were hams and haggises, the parish needna fear a dearth.

"To 'Hum and Haw,' to dally or trifle with one about any business by
indefinite and unintelligible language."--_Jamieson._

If better were within better wad come out.

If Candlemas day be dry and fair, the half o' winter's to come and mair; if Candlemas day be wet and foul, the half o' winter's gane at Yule.

If e'er you mak a lucky puddin' I'll eat the prick.

"That is, I am much mistaken if ever you do good."--_Kelly._

If grass does grow in Janiveer, 'twill be the worse for't a' the year.

If he be na a souter, he's a gude shoe clouter.

If he cannot make new shoes well, he is very good at repairing old
ones.

If he binds his pock she'll sit down on't.

"Spoken when a niggardly man is married on a more niggardly
woman."--_Kelly._

If he gies a duck he expects a goose.

If I canna do't by might I can do't wi' slight.

If I canna keep my tongue I can keep my siller.

If I canna kep geese I can kep gaislins.

"If I cannot work my revenge upon the principal author of my injury,
I will upon his children, relations, or friends."--_Kelly._

If I come I maun bring my stool wi' me.

For, as I am not properly invited, there will be no seat allotted to
me.

If "ifs" an' "ans" were kettles an' pans there would be nae use for tinklers.

"Were it not for 'if' and 'but,' we should all be rich for
ever."--_French._

If I had a dog as daft, I wad shoot him.

Signifying that mischievous or silly doings should be put a stop to.

If I had you at Maggy Mill's house, I would get word about wi' ye.

Used when, in argument or dispute, a man has not a proper
opportunity to defend himself.

If I hae done amiss, I'll mak amends.

If I live anither year, I'll ca' this fern-year.

If I'm no kind I'm no cumbersome.

If it be a faut it's nae ferlie.

Or, it is no wonder, as any other result should not have been
expected.

If it be ill it's as ill rused.

"Spoken of those who discommend what we have."--_Kelly._

If it can be nae better, it's weel it's nae waur.

If it sair me to wear, it may sair you to look at.

A pertinent reply to those who find fault with a person's dress.

If it werena for hope the heart would break.

If it werena for the belly the back wad wear gowd.

If it winna be a gude shoe we'll mak a bauchel o't.

If it winna sell it winna sour.

Meaning that an article is good, and will not spoil by keeping.

If marriages are made in heaven, you twa hae few friends there.

If ony body speir at ye, say ye dinna ken.

Meaning that a person is unwilling to give another some information.

"'Madge,' said Ratcliffe, 'have ye ony joes now?' 'An ony body ask
ye, say ye dinna ken. Set him to be speaking of my joes, auld Daddie
Ratton!'"--_Heart of Midlothian._

If she was my wife I would mak a queen o' her.

If strokes be gude to gie they'll be gude to tak.

If that God gie the deil daurna reive.

If the auld wife hadna been in the oven hersel, she ne'er wad hae thought o' looking for her dochter there.

That is, if a person had not been guilty of a particular crime
himself, he would never have suspected another of it. Kelly inserts
this proverb, but says it is English; and Henderson makes it the
subject of an illustration.

If the badger leave his hole the tod will creep in.

If the deil be laird, ye'll be tenant.

If the deil find ye idle, he'll set ye to wark.

For "An idle brain is the devil's workshop."--_English._

If the deil were dead, folk would do little for God's sake.

If the laird slight the leddie his menyie will be ready.

_Menyie_--the servants or followers will be ready to follow the
example.

If the lift fa' the laverocks will be smoored.

Literally, if the sky falls the larks will be smothered. Spoken when
people are anticipating some very improbable occurrence.

If the mare has a bald face the filly will hae a blaze.

Equivalent to saying, that if the mother is of one complexion the
child will be the opposite.

If this be a feast, I hae been at mony.

The inference is, that he is not pleased with the treatment he is
receiving.

If we canna preach in the kirk, we can sing mass in the quire.

If we haena the warld's wealth, we hae the warld's ease.

If wishes were horses beggars wad ride, and a' the warld be drowned in pride.

If you be angry, claw your wame, an' cool i' the skin ye het in.

"Spoken to them whose anger we value not."--_Kelly._

If you be angry, sit laigh and mease you.

If ye be na gall'd ye needna fling.

Synonymous with the English saying, "If the cap fits, wear it."

If ye dinna haud him he'll do't a'.

Spoken of lazy people, meaning, that if not restrained they will do
too much. Applied tauntingly of course.

If ye dinna like what I gie ye, tak what ye brought wi' ye.

If ye dinna see the bottom, dinna wade.

If you do not see your way clearly through an undertaking, do not
venture on it at all.

If ye do nae ill, dinna be ill like: if ye steal na my kail, breakna my dike.

"He that would no evil do, must do nought that's like
thereto."--_English._

If ye gang a year wi' a cripple, ye'll limp at the end o't.

For "Evil communications corrupt good manners."

If ye had as little money as ye hae manners, ye would be the poorest man o' a' your kin.

If ye'll blaw your ain whistle, ye maun uphaud the win'.

If you had been anither, I would hae denied you the first word.

Meaning that you are granted more indulgence than another would be
if similarly situated.

If ye had stuck a knife in my heart it wadna hae bled.

He was so much surprised by some information.

If ye hae little gear ye hae less care.

If ye're nae better, ye're snoder like, quo' the wife, when she cut off the doggie's lugs.

If you laugh at your ain sport, the company will laugh at you.

If you lo'e me, let it kythe.

That is, if you love me let it appear.

If ye like the nut, crack it.

If ye sell your purse to your wife, gie her your breeks to the bargain.

"For if your wife command your purse, she will certainly have the
mastery in everything else."--_Kelly._

If you spend muckle, put mair to the fore.

If you want your business weel done, do't yoursel.

If you win at that you'll lose at naething.

"Spoken to them that are about an ill thing, which will undoubtedly
prove to their damage."--_Kelly._

"If you winna come you'll bide," quo' Rory to his bride.

It was a matter of perfect indifference whether Rory got her or not.

If you would be a merchant fine, beware o' auld horses, herring, and wine.

Because, proverbially speaking, the first will die, the second
stink, and the third sour.

I gaed through the bear-land wi' him.

"This is a phrase used by a person who has gone through all the
particulars of a quarrel with another, or told him all the grounds
of umbrage at his conduct."--_Jamieson._

I gied his birn a hitch.

Or, assisted him in a strait.

"Though he bans me, I wish him well,
We'll maybe meet again;
I'll gie his birn a hitch, an' help
To ease him o' his pain."--_Poems in the Buchan Dialect._

I had but little butter, an' that I coost on the coals.

Said by a person who has been reduced either in circumstances, or in
the possession of a particular article, signifying that even the
little that was left had been allowed either by carelessness or
accident to slip through his fingers.

I had nae mind that I was married, my bridal was sae feckless.

Meaning that a circumstance was of so little importance that no
notice was taken of it.

I hae a gude bow, but it's i' the castle.

Satirically remarked of those who pretend that they could do great
things if they had some article by them, but which they know very
well is not near at hand.

I hae a Scotch tongue in my head--if they speak I'se answer.

I hae baith my meat and my mense.

I hae gi'en a stick to break my ain head.

Engaged in an undertaking which will be to my own disadvantage.

I hae gotten an ill kame for my ain hair.

I hae had better kail in my cog, and ne'er gae them a keytch.

"The return of a haughty maid to them that tell her of an unworthy
suitor. It alludes to an art among the Scottish reapers, who, if
their broth be too hot, can throw them up into the air, as they turn
pancakes, without losing one drop of them."--_Kelly._

I hae ither fish to fry.

I hae ither tow on my rock.

That is, I have other work to do.

I hae mair dogs than I hae banes for.

I hae mair to do than a dish to wash.

That is, I have work of importance to do.

I hae muckle to do, and few to do for me.

I hae my back to the wa': if I dinna slip I'll no fa'.

A saying expressive of a feeling of confidence or security.

I hae seen as fu' a haggis toom'd on the midden.

Or as good an article thrown away. Applied disparagingly to any
article in question.

I hae seen mair snaw on ae dike, than now on seven.

I hae seen mair than I hae eaten, else ye wadna be here.

A sharp retort to those who doubt a statement of which the narrator
has had ocular demonstration.

I hae taen the sheaf frae the mare.

I hae the Bible, an' there's no a better book in a' your aught.

I hae tint the staff I herded wi'.

I have lost the support I depended upon.

I hae twa holes in my head, an' as mony windows.

"I hate 'bout gates," quo' the wife when she haurl'd her man through the ingle.

Meaning that she approves of straightforward conduct. Kelly says
that the second part is "added only to make it comical."

I ken a spune frae a stot's horn.

"I had the honour to visit his late gracious Majesty, at his palace
of Holyrood, where, I can assure you, I was as civilly entreated as
the first in the land, not excluding the Lord Provost of Glasgow,
tho' he and his tounfolk tried to put themselves desperately far
forrit; but the king saw thro' them brawly, and kent a spoon frae a
stot's horn as well as the maist of his liege
subjects."--_Motherwell._

I ken by my cog how the cow's milk'd.

That is, I know by the appearance of a thing when it is properly
done.

I ken by your half-tale what your hale tale means.

Having told me so much I can guess the rest. Applied to those who
come to borrow money.

I ken him as weel as if I had gane through him wi' a lighted candle.

I ken how the warld wags: he's honour'd maist has moniest bags.

I ken your meaning by your mumping.

Ilka bean has its black.

"Ye hae had your ain time o't, Mr Syddall; but ilka bean has its
black, and ilka path has its puddle; and it will just set you
henceforth to sit at the board end, as weel as it did Andrew
langsyne."--_Rob Roy._

Ilka bird maun hatch her ain egg.

Ilka blade o' grass keps it's ain drap o' dew.

Ilka corn has its shool.

Ilka dog has its day.

"'You have made a most excellent and useful purchase, Cuddie. But
what is that portmanteau?' 'The pockmantle?' answered Cuddie: 'It
was Lord Evandale's yesterday, and it's yours the day. I fand it
ahint the bush o' broom yonder. Ilka dog has its day--ye ken what
the auld sang says,

"'"Take turn about, mither," quo' Tam o' the Linn.'"--_Old
Mortality._

Ilka land has its ain land-law.

"Jeannie Deans, writing from London to Reuben Butler, says,--'Ye
will think I am turned waster, for I wear clean hose and shoon every
day; but it's the fashion here for decent bodies, and ilka land has
its ain land-law.'"--_Heart of Midlothian._

Ilka land has its ain leid.

"Leid," language.--_Jamieson._

Ilka man as he likes--I'm for the cook.

Ilka man buckles his belt his ain gate.

"'Oh but, sir, what seems reasonable to your honour will certainly
be the same to them,' answered Jeanie. 'I do not know that,' replied
the Duke; 'ilka man buckles his belt his ain gate--you know our old
Scots proverb?'"--_Heart of Midlothian._

Ill bairns are aye best heard at hame.

I'll big nae sandy mills wi' you.

Or I will not join with you in any project.

Ill comes upon waur's back.

Parallel to the saying, "Misfortunes never come single." In this
case it is more forcibly expressed, and means literally, a great
misfortune is followed by a greater one.

Ill counsel will gar a man stick his ain mare.

I'll do as the man did when he sell't his land.

"That is, I will not do it again, for selling of an estate is a
fault that few are twice guilty of."--_Kelly._

Ill doers are aye ill dreaders.

Ill flesh ne'er made gude broo.

Bad meat never made good soup; or, a bad man cannot be expected to
do a good act.

I'll gar him draw his belt to his ribs.

Meaning that a person will be compelled to defend himself.

I'll gar his ain garters bind his ain hose.

"That is, what expense his business requires I will take it out of
his own money."--_Kelly._

I'll gar ye blairt wi' baith your een.

I'll gar ye claw where its no yeuky.

"Ye bardy loon, gae but the house and mind your wark. Ye thought and
they thought; but if it wasna mair for ae thing than anither, I hae
a thought that wad gar baith you and them claw where it's no
yeuky."--_Sir Andrew Wylie._

I'll gar you sing Port-youl.

That is, cry, weep:--

"I'll make them know they have no right to rule,
And cause them shortly all sing up Port-yeull."
--_Hamilton's Wallace._

I'll get a better fore-speaker than you for nought.

Ill getting het water frae 'neath cauld ice.

I'll gie ye a bane to pike that will haud your teeth gaun.

I will give you work to do which will keep you busy for a time.

I'll gie ye a sark fu' o' sair banes.

A shirtful of sore bones: _vulgariter_, a thrashing.

I'll gie ye let-a-bee for let-a-bee, like the bairns o' Kelty.

That is, he will give as good as he gets. "Let-a-bee for let-a-bee,"
generally speaking, is expressive of mutual forbearance; but the
"bairns o' Kelty" reversed the usual meaning.

Ill got gear ne'er prospered.

I'll haud the grip I've got.

"'When ye hae gotten the better o' the sore stroke o' the sudden
removal of the golden candlestick o' his life from among us, ye'll
do everything in a rational and just manner.'

"''Deed, I'll do nae sic things, mother,' was the reply; 'I'm mindit
to haud the grip I hae gotten.'"--_The Entail._

Ill hearing maks wrang rehearsing.

Ill herds mak fat tods.

I'll keep my mind to mysel, and tell my tale to the wind.

Ill laying up maks mony thieves.

Answered by people who are blamed for breach of confidence.

I'll learn you to lick, for suppin's dear.

Ill-less, gude-less, like the priests' holy water.

I'll mak a shift, as Macwhid did wi' the preachin'.

"Macwhid was a knowing countryman, and a great stickler for the king
and the church. At the Restoration, clergymen being scarce, he was
asked if he thought he could preach; he answered that he could make
a shift; upon which he was ordained, and got a living."--_Kelly._

I'll mak the mantle meet for the man.

"That is, I'll pay you according as you serve me."--_Kelly._

I'll neither mak or mar, as the young cock said when he saw the auld cock's neck thrawn.

I'll ne'er brew drink to treat drinkers.

Applied to those who are slow to partake of anything which is
offered to them, and signifying that although the article is good,
still, if unwilling, they will not be "treated," _i.e._, urged or
forced to take it.

I'll ne'er buy a blind bargain, or a pig in a pock.

I'll ne'er dirty the bannet I'm gaun to put on.

I'll ne'er keep a cow when I can get milk sae cheap.

I'll ne'er keep a dog and bark mysel.

To "keep a dog," &c., is to keep servants and do their work for
them.

I'll ne'er lout sae laigh an' lift sae little.

That is, I will never put myself to so much trouble for such a small
remuneration.

I'll ne'er put the rogue aboon the gentleman.

I'll no slip my dog afore the game's afoot.

I'll no tell a lee for scant o' news.

Ill payers are aye gude cravers.

I'll pay you, and put naething in your pouch.

Intimating that a person will give another a flogging.

I'll put daur ahint the door, and do't.

Or carry my threats into execution. Used when in a dispute one
person "daurs" another to do such a thing.

I'll rather strive wi' the lang rigg than the ill neighbour.

Meaning that a person would rather conduct a large business himself
than be troubled with a disagreeable partner.

Ill's the gout, an' waurs the gravel, but want o' wit maks mony a travel.

I'll say naething, but I'll yerk at the thinking.

He will keep his sorrows to himself, but the recollection of them
will make him "yerk," _i.e._, writhe, or start with pain--applied in
a mental sense.

I'll see the stars gang withershins first.

"Bid Iceshogels hammer red gauds on the studdy,
And fair simmer mornings nae mair appear ruddy:
Leave thee, leave thee, I'll never leave thee;
The starns shall gang withershins ere I deceive thee."
--_Tea-Table Miscellany._

I'll sell my lad, quo' Livistone; I'll buy't, quo' Balmaghie.

"If a man have a good pennyworth to sell, he will still find a
buyer."--_Kelly._

I'll serve ye when ye hae least to do.

I'll take nae mair o' your counsel than I think fit.

I'll tak the best first, as the priest did o' the plooms.

I'll tell the bourd, but no the body.

That is, I will tell the jest or story, but cannot mention the name
of the person to whom it refers.

Ill to tak and eith to tire.

Ill weeds wax weel.

A saying common to all nations. "Ill weeds grow apace."

Ill will ne'er spak weel.

Ill won gear winna enrich the third heir.

Ill won, ill wair'd.

Ill workers are aye gude onlookers.

I'm as auld as your auncient.

I maun do as the beggars do; when my wame's fu', gang awa.

Spoken jocularly when a person who has been partaking of a meal with
another rises to go away.

"I'm but beginning yet," quo' the wife when she run wud.

I'm flytin' free wi' you.

That is, on terms of familiarity with you.

I'm forejidged, forefoughten, and forejeskit.

An alliterative saying of those who are very much fatigued.

I might bring a better speaker frae hame than you.

I'm neither sma' drink thirsty, nor grey bread hungry.

Spoken when a person is not so freely entertained as he would like
to be. Applied generally by those who do not get what they expect,
and are offended thereat.

I'm no every man's dog that whistles on me.

I'm no obliged to simmer and winter it to you.

I'm no sae blind as I'm blear-e'ed.

That is, I am not so blind as unwilling to see.

I'm no sae scant o' clean pipes as to blaw wi' a brunt cutty.

I'm no that fu', but I'm gayly yet.

I am not fully satisfied, though I am nearly so.

I'm ower auld a dog to learn new tricks.

I'm speaking o' hay and you o' horse corn.

That is, I am talking on one subject, while you are talking on
another.

In a frost a nail is worth the horse.

Because it may save the horse from falling, and perhaps losing its
life. A mere trifle may, at an opportune moment, be of very great
service.

In a thousand pounds o' law there's no an ounce o' love.

Industry maks a braw man and breaks ill fortune.

I ne'er lo'ed meat that craw'd in my crappie.

Metaphorically, I do not like to interfere with matters which may
injure me.

I ne'er lo'ed water in my shoon, and my wame's made o' better leather.

Spoken when a drink of water is offered to a person who is not so
fond of it as he is of something stronger.

I ne'er sat on your coat-tail.

That is, I never interfered with or impeded your progress in any
way.

In ower muckle clavering truth is tint.

_Anglice_, In too much gossiping truth is lost.

It comes to the hand like the bowl o' a pintstoup.

"It's been the gipsies that took your pockmanky, when they fand the
chaise stickin' in the snaw; they wadna pass the like o' that: it
wad just come to their hand like the bowl o' a pintstoup."--_Guy
Mannering._

I prick'd nae louse since I darned your hose, and then I might hae prick'd a thousand.

Kelly attaches a meaningless remark to this proverb--"An answer of a
tailor to him that calls him pricklouse." Is it not meant as a reply
of one who may have been under the evil influence of another, and
who, having shaken himself free of it, can say honestly that since
he has done so he has been perfectly free, however much he may have
been under it before?

It canna be worse that's no worth a tinkler's curse.

It doesna set a sow to wear a saddle.

Or vulgar people to wear fine dress.

It gangs as muckle into my heart as my heel.

Ither folk are weel faur'd, but ye're no sae vera.