Chapter XIV: The Land of Indifference

Belthiah and Iddo's path had led them for a long time across a flower-besprinkled plain. There were no hills to mount and no valleys to descend, and their path had for the most part been even and uneventful.

They had not however been free from the enemy. The little sprite, Worry, had more than once taken hold of Belthiah, and had left its wounds visible across her brow: and his comrade, Foreboding, had occasionally thrown her in the way of Despondency, a troublesome enemy, whom she had to fight bravely before overcoming; but she had had seasons of great happiness because of the conscious presence of the King.

Iddo also had had her battles.

Indolence more than once attacked her, specially when he saw her becoming interested in her Guide Book; for after Heman's advice not to depend upon her mother's study of the Book, but to study it for herself, Iddo had often consulted it: nevertheless she was by no means well versed in it, and Indolence so constantly attacked her with success that she made but poor progress. Neither did Discontent and his comrade Irritability leave her alone; sometimes Belthiah looked with anxiety at her child when she saw how easily she gave way to these enemies.

They were about half-way across the plain when their paths met those of another mother and daughter, with whom they joined company.

Iddo was delighted to have a companion, and the two girls for many a mile followed their parents hand in hand.

Adin,* for such was her name, had much to tell, having met many more people on her journey than had Iddo, and the latter learnt much from her of which she had been ignorant. Among other things, Adin told her that there were people who were apparently journeying towards the Radiant City with views quite contrary to her mother's.

* Dainty.

"Times have changed," she said, "since our mothers started on their journey. People have come to the conclusion that much in which they believed is mistaken; that for instance it is not necessary to be so different to those who are not servants of the King; that certain things are lawful which in those days were considered dangerous, and that there are many ways after all to the Radiant City. The old-fashioned views with which our mothers started their journey are being more and more questioned and pushed on one side. We must move with the times," she added.

Iddo listened astonished. Loving and reverencing her mother, the girl resented the idea that her views could be anything but correct, and expostulated with Adin indignantly when she termed them old-fashioned. But by degrees she became accustomed to what she heard and began to wonder if there might not be some truth in it.

"Do many people agree with these views?" she asked.

"So many that it is really quite peculiar to think like our mothers," was Adin's answer; then with a laugh she added, "there are a few however who think my friends and I are very far gone in the wrong way. We met an old man on the road, who walked some distance with us, and when he heard one of these new thinkers discussing the subject with mother, he cried out indignantly,"

"'Madam, I hear the enemy's voice in that of your friend. Beware, I beseech you.' And then he turned round on our friend and rated him soundly for what he had been saying, crying,"

"'It is false, it is false, there is one way and only one for each servant of the King, and the path is straight and narrow. The only safe plan is to believe in the Guide Book and not in the imagination of man.' He was so excited," added Adin, "that I was almost amused."

"Was his name Chisleu?" asked Iddo.

"Ah! then you know him?"

"Yes, he was so good to me when mother was in the Valley of Pain, when I had hard work to fight my enemies," said Iddo.

"Yes, he is a good man," said Adin, "one could not doubt that, but oh! how narrow! He is even more narrow than mother; apparently he thinks no one can possibly be in the right path unless they entirely agree with him in every detail. Even mother does not believe that. She thinks there are certain truths that are quite necessary for us all, but that truth may be many-sided, and though there is only one way, the King does not lead each one of His servants by exactly the same path."

"But they must all have the King's mark on them," said Iddo.

"Yes," said Adin, "so mother thinks:" but that she was not very decided on the subject herself was evident from her hesitating answer, and Iddo began to feel a little perplexed and bewildered.

"Anyhow," added Adin, "people have extraordinarily different views about the Guide Book; some seem to be doing all they can to convince us of its untrustworthiness."

"Yes," said Iddo, "I shall never forget how I felt when I heard that for the first time. But you have not lost your faith in it have you?" she asked anxiously.

"Oh no," answered Adin, "but somehow I don't seem to think of it quite in the way that I did. You can't help being a little affected by things you hear."

Iddo suddenly looked around her. She had fancied she had heard a laugh close at her elbow. Was it the enemy? If so he had made himself invisible; but she felt they were on dangerous ground.

They had not noticed that their mothers were by now out of sight and that they had swerved a little from the path. They were so busy talking over these subjects, that it was some time before they realized with a start that they were no longer following their parents, and that they were passing some gates that led into a thickly populated town.

"Oh," cried Iddo, in distress, "we have lost our way!" But Adin was fascinated with the crowds of people that she saw through the gates that were standing wide open. She had not seen so many people congregated together for long, and they were apparently light-hearted and not troubled with the enemy, as they were laughing and talking as if they had not a care.

"Let us go in," she said, "they cannot be dangerous people or allied with the enemy, as they are not even noticing us, but look thoroughly happy and unconcerned. Come, don't be a coward," for Iddo had drawn back.

"But," she said, "I am quite sure mother has not gone that way, I should never find her there."

"How do you know?" said Adin, "why we are nearly sure to come across some other pilgrims who will do their best to help us to find our mothers. There is really nothing to fear."

Looking through the gate Iddo recognized the face of a pilgrim she had met in the way.

"It must be all right," she murmured as they passed through, "as she is here. Perhaps mother may after all have gone this way."

To Iddo's astonishment she recognized many a one whom she had noticed standing listening to the preacher on the heath, and there was something about them that did not exactly re-assure her; they seemed almost to be settling down in the town instead of walking through it, and what filled her with concern was the fact that as yet Adin and she had not found a trace of their own path.

"Will you tell us the name of this place?" said Iddo to a passer-by, who looked good-natured and kind.

"This is a town, in the Land of Indifference," he answered, smiling.

"Are all these people on the way to the Radiant City?" she asked anxiously.

"Many of them profess to be," he answered, looking at her kindly.

"But are you?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Ask me an easier question," he said, and turned away.

"People do not like to be questioned," said Adin in a vexed tone of voice, "Come, don't be so worrying, let us anyhow enjoy ourselves while we are here. Look, there are many things to see. It must be a happy place, as almost every one is laughing."

"I have seen quite as many people yawning with weariness," said Iddo; but she quite forgot all the time to open her Guide Book for an explanation of the town, and after all there was so much to be seen and so many people to watch, that gradually the thought of the Radiant City grew dimmer, and the enemy who had led the girls into the town, felt he could safely leave them for a time, while he went to tempt another traveller on the road.

But every now and then Iddo's conscience awoke, and she begged for information of those about her.

"How is it," she asked one who had been joining company with her and her friend, "how is it that people seem so light-hearted here?"

"Because they don't worry about things they cannot understand," she answered lightly, "what is the good of worrying?"

"But don't they ever think of the possibility of not reaching the Radiant City if they stay too long in this place?" she asked.

"But why should you think that even now they are not on their way?" answered her companion. "I take for granted when I think of it at all that I am going there. We do nothing very wrong in this city. I do not think that the enemy is particularly busy here. We are thoroughly steady and respectable and good-natured. What more can you expect of us? Pray don't get it into your head that we are going to be left for ever outside the Radiant City."

"But," said Iddo, perplexed, "I thought every one who journeyed there had to put on armour. And you have none."

"This is such a peaceable place my dear, that we do not need armour. Indeed, some time ago a man passed through this town fully armed, he would not turn to the right hand or to the left. His path he said lay right across, and though we could not but respect and reverence him, as the light of the Radiant City was full on his face, when he had gone, we could not help smiling. What good was his armour to him here? No enemy was likely to attack him. We told him this, and his answer was, 'It is written in the Guide Book, "Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour."' We asked him what guise the enemy was likely to put on to entrap unwary travellers."

"What did he say?" asked Iddo.

"He told us the name of our land would answer that question, and then opening his Guide Book as he walked, he read aloud, '"I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked; I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; . . . . Behold, I stand at the door and knock."'"

"Do you know the name of this man?" said Iddo, "it sounds like my friend Heman."

"I do not know his name, as he would not stop; even while he was consulting his Guide Book he was moving on for fear the enemy should attack him and keep him longer in the land. One could not but admire him as he was in such deadly earnest, and one could not but reverence him as he walked, as his whole bearing made one recognise that his King was great, and that the King's business required haste, as he told us. Moreover he had much tact, and those who spoke to him always listened respectfully, and indeed such was his influence as he passed through, that more than one followed him out of the town. I felt sure he would never be content to go out of it alone. In fact he was in it but not of it. But on thinking about it afterwards one could not but wonder that he thought it all of such vital importance. There are other ways of getting to the City besides his. As for me I prefer moving slowly. Enthusiasm does not appeal to me."

"Then the pilgrim did not think it right to linger here?" asked Iddo.

"His path lay right across you see," answered Adin quickly. "We are looking for our path and are as likely to find it in the town as out of it," for Adin had got imbued with the spirit of the land and felt it mattered little that they should find their path at once; why need they worry?

But Iddo, though outwardly satisfied with this argument, was inwardly anxious. The thought of her mother would intrude upon her even in the midst of some pleasurable excitement, with which they were well provided in the town. It is true at times a kind of lethargy crept over her and she would laugh with the rest, as if she had not a care or trouble. But she began to wonder why it was that her enemies apparently left her alone. Her sword was very rusty and the rest of her armour dim, but Adin assured her that they were not needed in this place.

But Iddo was unhappy. She began to pine for the sight of the Radiant City and for travellers who were definitely walking there, and above all things she grew home sick for the conscious Presence of the King Himself.

It is true that she had not enjoyed much of His Presence at any time, for she had depended so much upon what her mother had told her of Him, that she had not sought earnestly enough to know Him herself. But now she began to long for Him, and looked eagerly at the faces of passers-by, hoping that she might find at least one who was bound for the Radiant City.

But again and again she was disappointed. The Land of Indifference was the most unlikely of any place to come across those who had made any definite decision to go to the Radiant City, and many whom she questioned had really not thought about the matter at all.

"The subject does not interest me," they said, looking at her eager upturned face with surprise. "We are here to enjoy ourselves, and have no time to think of such matters." Others would answer her questions with the words, "'Let us eat and drink, for to-morrow we die.'"

Iddo began to wonder if she could possibly persuade Adin to leave the crowded town in search of their paths to the Radiant City. She felt she had not the courage to make the step alone, besides which she found Adin's companionship very attractive, and knew that unless she could take her friend with her she might never see her again. But Adin was far too engrossed with all she saw and heard to wish to leave her present quarters.

"There is plenty of time," she said, when Iddo timidly tried to persuade her that the only right and wise course to take was to leave the Land of Indifference. "Of course I suppose we shall eventually have to go, but I don't mean to go yet."

"I cannot feel at home here," sighed Iddo.

"Not at home?" cried Adin, "why what do you want? After all, you are not my sort, I fear. You are naturally dependent on others, and do not rejoice in your freedom. You should not have left your mother. I would try and find her if I were you, and then follow her step by step. You will never be happy if you don't," and Adin gave a somewhat scornful laugh.

"I dare not go and I dare not stay," murmured Iddo.

"That is just what I say," said Adin, "you have no courage to carve out a line for yourself."

"But," said the girl, stung to resistance, "it has not been a question of my carving out a line for myself. It has really been with me a choice between following my mother and following you. And I do not know why I chose to follow you. My mother never led me astray."

"You had better go," said Adin, "and I will look for another friend who is bolder and more courageous, and who is not always thinking about uncomfortable things like you are. Besides I have come to the conclusion that I have made a mistake about myself all my life. The views you love are cramping. I like to be free. I am much more suited to the Land of Indifference than to the Radiant City. And I really doubt if I have ever been on the way there. I have just followed my mother, that is all."

"Then," said Iddo, "you mean to stay here? and to give up all thoughts of the King and the Radiant City?"

"How do you know there is a King and a Radiant City?" said Adin.

"The enemy must be very near to make you say that," said Iddo gravely. "Oh, don't give way to him. I am quite sure he is seeking your ruin."

"The enemy! Nonsense, child! Why, I find no one believes in the Devil now. The very mention of him raises a smile. Indeed, if you spoke to the inhabitants of this land as you are speaking to me, they would think you were daft. No one who has any learning ever thinks of him. He is a myth."

"Have you learnt all this while you have been here?" said Iddo, sadly.

"Yes, and a great deal more; much that convinces me that it is quite mad to give up the pleasure of this place for the dream that you are following."

"Then," said Iddo, "this shows me how wrong I have been to have come here at all. If they say such things in this land it is no place for a servant of the King," and there was a firmness in her tone of voice and a look of resolute determination in her eyes, which Adin had never thought to see in her timid little friend. She liked her all the better for it.

"Put your scruples away," she urged, "and let us enjoy ourselves. I shall miss you if you go."

"It is so hard to leave you in this town," said Iddo, with tears in her eyes, "if only you would come too. Think what it will be to be shut out of the Radiant City at last!"

"There you are again! In such dead earnest! They are quite right here when they say that people who are on the way to the Radiant City are so terribly tiring. They will not take things as they find them or leave people as they find them, but will always be trying to save them from what they look upon as their doom. Why not let people believe what they like? So long as they are happy, why disturb them?"

"Of course you feel like that if you don't believe in anything strongly," answered Iddo, "but when you are sure that there is a Radiant City, and that those who will not listen to the Voice of the King inviting them there, will be shut out at last, it makes all the difference."

"Go, then, little believer," said Adin, "and try and save others, but don't save me, I beg you;" and with a laugh and nod the girl turned away, and Iddo felt that the last word had been said between them.

She had no friend now in the Land of Indifference, but stood alone. A feeling of great isolation took possession of her; but she knew it was through her own carelessness and fault that she was in such a plight, and she determined at once to leave the place. She had some difficulty in finding her way back. The streets were intricate, and so crowded with men and women that her progress was slow. But no sooner had she begun to retrace her steps in earnest, than she fancied she saw a glimmer of light in the far distance which she knew must come from the Radiant City.

But the enemy who had been watching her for some time, fearful now of losing his prey, began to dodge her steps, and the family of Morbids clung around her, so as to impede her progress.

"There is no use trying to get out of the land," they cried, "you have got too used to its ways. You will not find your mother, you don't deserve it. You have been playing in the enemy's country all this time, and now expect the King to welcome you back. He will never do it. It will take years to get rid of the marks of the land upon you," and by other words they did all they could to drag her back and discourage her.

Then the far worse enemy, Doubt, met her just as she was passing through the gate, and hurled his darts at her face, that for a time she was so blinded by him that no sight could she get of the Radiant City, and she began to wonder if Adin's words were true, and she had been following a mere dream—a mirage. But the very fierceness of the enemy's assault made Iddo cry the louder and the more persistently to the King, and though at first no answer seemed to be vouchsafed and she was only conscious of the sharp arrows of the enemy, she would not give in. The King was her only hope, and she knew He would help her.

"If I die," she cried, "I will die crying to Him, for mercy and help."

At last above the storm of the battle she heard a still small voice, saying,

"'Him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out,'" and on looking up, she caught sight of a bright light shining down upon her, the light from the Radiant City. Then she fell on her knees and worshipped her King, and the enemy slunk away.