Chapter III: Preface: vii

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS xiii

I. HOW SPOOKING BEGAN IN YOZGAD 1

II. HOW THE CAMP TURNED SPIRITUALIST 9

III. HOW THE MEDIUMS WERE TESTED 19

IV. OF THE EPISODE OF LOUISE, AND HOW IT WAS
ALL DONE 35

V. IN WHICH THE READER IS INTRODUCED TO THE
PIMPLE 46

VI. IN WHICH THE COOK APPEARS AND THE SPOOK
FINDS A REVOLVER 54

VII. OF THE CALOMEL MANIFESTATION AND HOW
KIAZIM FELL INTO THE NET 68

VIII. IN WHICH WE BECOME THOUGHT-READERS 82

IX. HOW THE SPOOK WROTE A MAGIC LETTER AND
ARRANGED OUR ARREST 87

X. HOW WE WERE TRIED AND CONVICTED FOR
TELEPATHY 99

XI. IN WHICH WE ARE PUT ON PAROLE BY OUR
COLONEL, AND GO TO PRISON 109

XII. OF THE COMRADES WE HAD LEFT BEHIND AND
HOW POSH CASTLE PLAYED THE RAVEN 121

XIII. IN WHICH THE PIMPLE LEARNS HIS FUTURE LIES
IN EGYPT 132

XIV. WHICH INTRODUCES OOO AND TELLS WHY THE
PIMPLE GOT HIS FACE SMACKED 144

XV. IN WHICH THE SPOOK PUTS OUR COLONEL ON
PAROLE IN HIS TURN, SAVES THE HUNT CLUB,
AND WRITES A SPEECH 155

XVI. HOW WE FELL INTO A TRANCE AND SAW THE
FUTURE 165

XVII. HOW THE SPOOK TOOK US TREASURE-HUNTING
AND WE PHOTOGRAPHED THE TURKISH COMMANDANT 173

XVIII. OF A “DREADFUL EXPLOSION” AND HOW OOO
SOUGHT TO MURDER US 185

XIX. OF THE FOUR POINT RECEIVER AND HOW WE
PLANNED TO KIDNAP THE TURKISH STAFF AT
YOZGAD 199

XX. IN WHICH WE ARE FOILED BY A FRIEND 215

XXI. IN WHICH WE DECIDE TO BECOME MAD AND THE
SPOOK GETS US CERTIFICATES OF LUNACY 222

XXII. HOW THE SPOOK CORRESPONDED WITH THE
TURKISH WAR OFFICE AND GOT A REPLY 234

XXIII. IN WHICH THE SPOOK PERSUADES MOÏSE TO
VOLUNTEER FOR ACTIVE SERVICE 239

XXIV. OF OUR MAD JOURNEY TO MARDEEN 248

XXV. HOW WE HANGED OURSELVES 257

XXVI. IN WHICH THE SPOOK CONVICTS MOÏSE OF
THEFT, CONVERTS HIM TO HONESTY, AND
PROMISES OMNIPOTENCE 270

XXVII. OF THE FIRST DAY IN HAIDAR PASHA HOSPITAL
AND THE PRELIMINARY EXAMINATION BY
THE SPECIALISTS 285

XXVIII. OF THE WASSERMANN TESTS AND HOW WE
DECEIVED THE MEDICAL BOARD 297

XXIX. OF HILL’S TERRIBLE MONTH IN GUMUSH SUYU
HOSPITAL 309

XXX. IN WHICH WE ARE REPATRIATED AS LUNATICS 320

POSTSCRIPT: WHAT THE PIMPLE THINKS OF IT
ALL—THREE LETTERS 336