Chapter XLIV

We have now to introduce a Bookseller of a very singular description, who in our notes is termed the Exotic Bookseller. He was the introducer of a new æra in the profession of which he was so successful a member, and the anecdotes of his rise, from a humble station to great opulence, and to a familiar communication with the noble and the great, would of themselves form a very interesting and entertaining narrative. Equidem plura audivi quam credo, sed nec affirmare sustineo de quibus dubito, nec subducere quæ accepi.

His father honourably and successfully pursued the occupation, which descended to the son, in a remote provincial town, and had deservedly obtained great reputation from the elegance and neatness of his bindings. If the intelligence received by the Sexagenarian be not fallacious, he was the inventor of the art of painting landscapes on the edges of the external leaves of a book, which only became visible when unfolded to a certain distance.

Be the above as it may, the son was the first person who professedly displayed in the metropolis shelves of valuable books in splendid bindings, and having taken a large house in one of the most frequented and fashionable streets, it soon became the resort of the gay morning loungers of both sexes. At the same time also invitation was held out to students and scholars, and persons of real taste, from the opportunity of seeing and examining the most curious and rare books, manuscripts, and missals.

His success at home of itself seemed sufficient to satisfy any ordinary speculator in this sort of commerce, but this was not enough for the personage of whom we are speaking. He determined to make a circuit of Europe, and proceeding from his native island with abundance of money, great acuteness, the most intimate and familiar acquaintance with the objects of his research, and above all, choosing the most auspicious moment for his purpose, when by following the rear of the French armies, he might on easy terms obtain his choice of what he most wanted, he had abundant cause on his return to felicitate himself on his success. Other speculations also connected with his profession, proved alike fortunate, and ere long elevated the subject of these remarks to considerable distinction and opulence. He became a sort of literary oracle, and was consulted by the grave and the gay, the lively and severe, the scholar and the sciolist; and truth to say, his manner was so inimitably fine, that he had as much to say on an illuminated missal, and an Etruscan vase, as on the books printed at the Sabiaco monastery, or the Florence Homer of 1488.

The solemn hour of retirement from the world at length approached, that crisis of such rare occurrence, when the votary of wealth exclaims with sincerity, “Have I not enough?” Mr. ⸺ married, and became a country gentleman. Many whimsical stories are to be found in books, which detail particular cases of hypochondriacal and nervous disorders, of men who having been occupied in the vigorous part of life in active business, have found retirement from employment not only tedious and uncomfortable, but exceedingly painful.

One is recorded of a great shoemaker, who purchased a villa upon Blackheath, to which he retired with great exultation and delightful views of promised pleasure. A summer-house was to be erected, in which our friends from Aldgate were to enjoy their refreshing pipes; fruit-trees of every kind were to be planted; the flag held out on Sundays as a signal of welcome to all old acquaintances passing that way; politics discussed, and the nation saved from almost irretrievable ruin. Alas! alas! how soon a thing when once in our possession, loses its lustre, its beauty, and its value. After the short experiment of a few months, Mr. Last began to think that something was the matter with him, though he did not know exactly what. The walk on the heath lost its interest, the views from Greenwich-hill ceased to delight, the appetite was not so good, sleep was broken, and a general low-spiritedness ensued, which began to wear a formidable appearance.

A celebrated physician was sent for from the metropolis. His sagacity soon found out the cause of the malady, and prescribed a simple but certain remedy. It appeared evident to the medical gentleman, that the mischief originated in the privation of those employments for which the mind of the patient was so constituted, as to be not only the best, but alone adapted. After a minute enquiry into what hands the business, so inauspiciously quitted, had fallen, and ascertaining the practicability of the patient’s being thankfully welcomed as an occasional visitor, to give the benefit of his advice and experience, it was determined that he was regularly to go to town by the stage three times a week, to assist in “cutting out.” The experiment succeeded, and health and cheerfulness were restored.

It is by no means intended to insinuate, that our retired bookseller became a victim of similar infirmities, or if he had the propensity to imbibe the miasma, he took care to guard against its pernicious effects. He continued now and then, at intervals, by way of amusement, and at the desire of friends, to dabble a little in the way of his former occupation, and was said, on some critical occasion, to have made a trip to the Continent, partly on the account of declining health, and partly to avail himself of a tempting opportunity to pick and choose, from a very select collection of rare things _in his way_.

Who shall pretend to say that there was any harm in all this? But does it not serve to verify the old and homely proverb, “What is bred in the bone is never out of the flesh?” And does it not tend to prove the almost impossibility of blending the love of gain, inherent in a tradesman, with the disregard of it, which is the proud distinction of the gentleman?

As to external manners, the person in question was both courteous and courtier-like. They who were less favourably inclined towards him, complained that his enunciation was affectedly soft, and that he had too much of the air and grimace of a Frenchman; and by the shrug of his shoulders, and his facility in speaking the language, has more than once been mistaken for a native of that country. But his peculiarities were harmless, his knowledge of all the mysteries of his craft, more extensive, perhaps, than that of any of his contemporaries, his merits considerable, and death might easily have spared a less amiable character.

The few remaining scraps on the subject of booksellers may be summarily brought together. There is some account of a Snuffy Bookseller, a man of great singularity of life and manners. He had a university education originally, with a view of taking orders. Why he changed his purpose is unknown. It has been whispered that an eminent female personage, long since deceased, to whom he had been useful in collecting and arranging books of prints and engravings, had promised to procure him preferment. His next occupation was that of an engraver, in which art he became no mean proficient. His final employment was that of a bookseller, in which mystery also he had obtained no inconsiderable degree of knowledge. The last fatal catastrophe of his life was truly lamentable, occasioned in all probability from disappointed hopes, and the horrors of approaching penury.

There was also a bookseller to whom the epithet of B⸺d is attached, but anecdotes of vulgar rudeness, over-reaching cunning, and total disregard of the civilities of life, would only deform these pages.

Some remarks are also to be found on a Cunning Bookseller, who, at a very early period of life, had obtained the most extensive knowledge of his business in all its branches, which he did not fail to turn to good account.

Attention also is invited to a sketch of a Godly Bookseller, a worthy and conscientious man, whose principal dealings were in religious books and tracts, and chief correspondence with individuals of that description.

In conclusion, there are some not unentertaining notices of a Superb Bookseller. This personage seems not altogether to have disdained genius in its humbler garb and more retired walks, yet the whole of his establishment, his mansion, his furniture, his symposia, seemed intended for the noble and the great alone. A great and popular house, he was well aware, would at any time sell a considerable impression of any thing. On such occasions he was splendidly liberal; and as theatrical managers, when they get up a new play, are careless of the expence of decorations, dresses, and scenery, so would our Superb Bookseller give a great and noble author every advantage of the finest wire-wove paper and Bulmer’s typography, He nevertheless had the character of a disposition to drive a hard bargain with such authors as were untitled, unbeneficed, (or if it may be permitted to coin a word) unincomed. He is said to have laboured under the imputation of having sacrificed at the shrine of _greater_ friends, it may not be said on the score of lucre, the claims of an individual, whose worth, talents, and amiable manners, had been long known and acknowledged by continued experience of their value. He was accused of having sanctioned, at least by his connivance, an _ex post facto_ attack, written in all the gall of bitterness, and dictated by personal spleen, rather than by an ingenuous spirit of fair criticism, upon a work of great labour and merit, which has hitherto stood, and will continue to stand, the test of time.

Here our manuscript seems brought to a conclusion, for after a few desultory hints, of which some are perfectly unintelligible to the Editor, the following quotation occurs in a larger hand-writing.

Habeo Neptune gratiam magnam tibi
Quam me amisisti a te vix vivum modo
Verum si posthac me pedem latum modo
Scio imposisse in undam, haud causa ilico ’st
Quod nunc voluisti facere, quin facias mihi.
Apage, apage te a me—nunc jam post hunc diem
Quid crediturus tibi fui, omne credidi.

PORSONIANA.

Quanquam non commisi quidem ut defensore mihi opus sit adversus obtrectatos, neminem enim dicto quidem læsi, sed adversus obtrectatores, quibus orbis literatus passim infestatur, sicuti suis via insidiatoribus, forum vililitigatoribus, militia provocatoribus.

By far the greater part of the pieces which follow are printed from Professor Porson’s own manuscripts. Those which are not so, were either written from his personal dictation, or copied by his permission.

The subjoined is, perhaps, the earliest specimen of Porson’s Latinity which has hitherto appeared. The Proemium to the Notes, which, at the request of Maps, alias Nicholson, the Cambridge Bookseller, and which commences facetiously “Lectori si quis erit” was written two years afterwards. This Oration was probably delivered in the Chapel of Trinity College, at the time when it is dated.

MAII 29ᵒ 1784.

Quamvis super Caroli secundi meritis hodie privatorum hominum multæ sint et discrepantes sententiæ, tamen si publicum istius sæculi Ecclesiæ totiusq; populi suffragium respicimus, hunc diem non modo cretâ notandum sed et dignum judicabimus, qui solenni gratiarum actione quotannis celebretur. Et cum nulla neq; lex neq; consuetudo altius radices agat, aut diutius floreat, quam quæ religionis nomen prætendat; operæ pretium sit propius inspicere et exigere Caroli mores atq; ingenium; sine irâ et studio inquirere, quantum reipublicæ contulerit; quibus sive privatim sive publice virtutibus eminuerit; quantis libertatem et religionem beneficiis auxerit; quam bene denique cum regis tum hominis partes impleverit.

Si qui rex unquam fuit, qui optimis et felicissimis avibus regnum suum auspicatus est, is profectò fuit Carolus, qui tanto tamq; unanimi totius imperii consensu, in solium hæreditarium escenderit. Et quemadmodum amantium iræ (aiunt) amoris integratio est, quicquid in Carolum patrem populus deliquerat, aut quodcunq; in officio erga eum fungendo desiderari potuerat, id omne effusissimâ est, quâ filium prosequebatur benevolentiâ pensare aut supplere adnixus. Qui per tot annos sub crudelis et suspicacis tyranni dominatione gemuissent, expectatione melioris fortunæ nunc se consolabantur, si princeps ab exilio revocaretur; satiusq; duxerunt, etiam si tyranni potestatem iterum experiri necesse esset, ejus arbitrium agnoscere, ad quem lege hereditariæ successionis regnandi jus aliquatenus pertinere videretur. Cromwello igitur tandem mortuo, omnes sectæ et factiones certatim se regi restituendo accinxêre. Sperabant scilicet, fore, ut novus rex, quantum patriæ favori deberet, gratus memoriæ mandaret, et aliquando tam re quam verbis ostenderet; ut patris sui miserabili fortunâ et immaturo exitu admonitus, scopulos et syrtes in quas ille impegisset, ipse gubernator factus, cautâ et prudenti navigatione evitaret; ut neq; communia jura deminueret, neq; præter jus fasq; prærogativæ suæ fines propagaret; ut adversis rebus diu multumq; conflictatus, humanè et sine insolenti lætitiâ secundis frueretur.

His freti cogationibus regni hæreditatem stabilem et perpetuam videntur reddidisse; tantamq; vectigalium partem regiis sumptibus suppeditandis destinâsse, quanta magni principis splendori et dignitati non solum tutandæ, sed etiam ostentandæ sufficeret. Neq; de suo tantum largiti sunt, quippe qui hæc præclara propensæ in regem voluntatis argumenta ediderint, ne minimâ quidem conditionum ab ipso servandarum mentione factâ. Adeo enixe studium, suum et obedientiam probare aggressi sunt, ut quid majorum suorum memoriæ, quid sibi ipsi, quid posteritati deberent, pariter obliti essent. Sed ne quicquam requiri posset, quo se regi dicto audientes et morigeros præberent, iidem homines penes quos potissimum restituti regis gloria esset, totius gentis personâ susceptâ perduellionis erga beatum (quem vocabant) martyrem se ipse reos profitebantur et admissi facinoris a clementissimo domino veniam impetrabant. Non tamen rex eo usq; clementiâ suâ abusus est, ut neminem omnino veniâ indignum judicaret, sed lenitatem suam justâ severitate temperavit, in eosq; judices qui ex animi sententiâ et quoniam è rep. fore censuerunt, patrem suum capitis damnâssent, omnibus exemplis animadvertendum statuit. Qui autem temporis causâ hoc parricidium perpetrâssent, iis quod sibi videretur fidelibus consiliorum suorum ministris olim usurus, generosâ et sapienti sententiâ pœnam condonavit. Sed ut quod sentio liberè et sine ambagibus dicam; fatendum est ab iis quorum affectus in neutram partem proclivior est, contra regiam dignitatem, contra civilem prudentiam peccâsse Carolum, quod non præteritorum omnium facinorum memoriam penitus aboleret. Sin autem hoc fautores Stewartorum negabunt; illud certè non negabunt (neq; enim vel possunt vel audent;) suppliciorum qua a perduellibus leges exigunt, crudeliorem partem, utpote exempli parum memoris legum humanarum, remitti oportuisse.

Quanquam autem, ut supra demonstravimus, quod satis superq; esset frugali regiæ donâsset, tamen ut amoris quo novum regem amabant, locupletissimum darent testimonium, plures extraordinarias pensiones in ipsius fratrisq; loculos contulerunt. Ac nè quid deesset quod civium bene sentientium animos indicaret, decreto incertum magis ridiculo an absurdo, omnia quæ Senatus aut Cromwellus per viginti annos egerant, abrogabantur. Si historici hujus temporis audiendi sunt, hæc flagitia quodammodo excusari possunt, propterea quod ab ebriis ferè et discinctis nebulonibus admissa essent, quanquam facilitas ea, quæ hujusmodi homines in supremum pene gentis concilium adsciverit, non omnino laudanda videtur.

Est et alia res, levicula quidem illa, neq; tamen prorsus negligenda, cædis nempe cupido quædam et aviditas, quâ per totum regni tempus Carolus tam vehementur flagravit, ut vix suspicari possis in genitâ ejus crudelitate factum ut tot innocentes homines contra leges sanctas et jura imo interdum contra ipsius pollicitationes capite plecterentur. Verisimilius videtur talia spectacula huic principi ludi jociq; instar fuisse. Neq; equidem valdè miror, si Carolus, qui Galliæ sæpe vidisset, quantâ ibi facilitate rex morte, exilio, aut bonorum publicatione cives afficiat, quemq; Angli non minori adulatione, quam Galli Ludovicum mulcere solerent, regis Gallici potestatem in hâc quoq; parte usurpare vellet. Certè nisi pondus aliquod his excusationibus subesse concedamus, agnoscendum erit vix quicquam in omni historiâ, quod ab humanitate alienius sit de pessimis et odiosissimis tyrannis narrari, neq; quod ab omni lenitate et prudentià, ut legum violationem omittam, magis abhorreat. Inter nobiles hujus temporis reos, Vanius, Russelius et Sidneius præcipuè eminent, quorum injusta et crudelis mors Caroli memoriæ æternam dedecoris atq; intamiæ notam inuret. Si horum exemplorum atrocitatem eâ quâ par est, indignatione contemplabimur, Tiberii alterius aut Neronis scelera legere videbimur.

Quod si de domestica rerum administratione nihil quod quereremur, haberemus, bellorum à Carolo gestorum et fœderum ictorum tanta est ignominia, quantam vix Joannes noster suscepit cum a Pontifice Romano coronam precario acciperet. Misso primum contra Belgas, a quibus magnificentissimo fuerat hospitio exceptus, exercitu, avaræ et ingratæ mentis justissimas pœnas persolvit. Cum enim res Belgarum superior evasisset, iniquis Carolus est pacis conditionibus acquiescere coactus. Ut bellum gereret, spoliorum cupiditas, si verum amamus, primo regem pepulerat, quam non frustatus est eventus. Quamvis enim ex Belgio Fœderato nihil præter dedecus, reportaret, pecuniam quam in sumptus belli erogandam civium liberalitas dedisset, in rem suam ipse catus convertit. Multa vero delicta, quæ in alio quovis flagitia essent, ut in Carolo leviore nomine notentur, facit præcipuorum ejus facinorum magnitudo; quorum in numero principem locum merito obtinet, quod duo maxima totius imperii robora et firmamenta, Dunquercam et Tingen hosti turpiter prodiderit. Illud autem consilium palmam cœteris præripit, quod inter eum et Ludovicum mercenariis conditionibus convenerat.

Satis jam notum est regem clam se eidem religionis sectæ, cui fratrem Jacobum, Romanæ nempe, addixisse: Hanc quoq; per Britanniam, Ludovici auxilio, ubicunq; tempus sineret, propagare, veterem constitutionem delere, pro libertate tyrannidem, pro reformatâ religione, Catholicam invehere decreverat. Sed tam timide gelideq; hanc rem ministravit, tantâ solertiâ dicam an malitiâ, animi cogitata celavit, ut multis Catholicorum gravissimis suppliciis afficerentur, ipso rege, qui eandem fidem amplexus erat, approbante.

Hæc pauca ex innumeris publicarum Caroli virtutum exempla selegimus. Videamus si privati mores cæteros defectus compensent. Etiam pater ejus, regni errores cæteris virtutibus partim redemit. Sed in hâc parte valdè dissimilem et degenerem filium reliquit. Vix ullam Europæ regionem peragravit, quin ex eâ novas ineptias, nova vitia reportaret. Avus ejus Jacobus ab adulatoribus suis appellari solitus est Salomon secundus. Quæ una res ei defuit ad perfectam similitudinem Carolus supplevit, quem nemo Salomonis simillimum fuisse negabit, qui immensum utriusq; concubinarum numerum reputaverit. Cum hujusmodi mulierculis et viris non honestioribus otium suum omni luxus et libidinis genere oblectavit. Qualis vir fuisset, indicio fuerunt, (ut quidam non ineptè observavit) ultima ejus extremâ in morte verba, quibus neq; reip. neq; amicorum cujus aut propinquorum, sed meretricis meminerat. At forsan, inquies, opum suarum facultatibus ad patris suiq; comitum et defensorum inopiam sublevandam usus est, et hanc occasionem testandi quam bene adversus omne qui alterius utrius causam fortunis, manu, scriptis adjuvissent, avidè arripuit. Nihil minus; fidelissimos regiæ potestatis servos aut neglexit, ut inter mille alios Couleium et Butlerum nominem, aut, sicut Clarendonum, à se et patriâ removit, exiliiq; periculis et laboribus objecit.

Qui omnes nervos contendunt, ut Caroli memoriam qua jure qua injuriâ aliquatenus ab infamiâ quâ premitur liberent, regis comitatem atq; hilaritatem prædicant; quamq; facetus et lepidus conviva esset, libenter narrant. Et sanè disertus fuit leporum et facetiarum, si modo pro leporibus et facetiis scurrilis dicacitas sumatur. Hujus enim uberrimâ abundabat copiâ; nihil unquam facetè dixit, quod salvo pudore; nec liberè, quod salvâ religione dici posset. Per totum hujus principis regnum, modestiæ, pudoris, sinceritatis, temperantiæ, religionis deniq; nulla habita est ratio; neq; certior aut expeditior ad regis favorem patebat aditus, quam si quis, scurra, impius, vinosus et prodigus audiret. Ut quisq; ipse erat simillimus, ita carissimus. Ut breviter absolvam, antequam coronam adeptus esset, mendicus fuit; postquam adeptus esset, rex non fuit: sine dignitate sapientiâ aut fortitudine; sine amicitiâ; sine fide et amore connubiali; sine fraternâ pietate, atheus vivebat, Papista moriebatur. Talis fuit Carolus secundus.

⸺manibus date lilia plenis;
Purpureos spargam flores, animamq; tyranni
His saltem accumulem donis⸺

The subjoined Preface is printed from the Professor’s first copy, in his own hand-writing, which he permitted to be prefixed to Toup’s Emendations of Suidas.

LECTORI

S.

Cum nuper audivissem, TOUPII Emendationes in Suidam prælo Oxoniensi mox prodituras, Viros doctissimos, qui laborem edendi suscepissent, certiores feci, me non indiligenter opus illud aureum perlegisse, et notarum mearum, quas hic illic adscripsissem, modo dignæ viderentur, quæ TOUPII scriptis pro appendice adjungerentur, copiam iis facturum. Habes igitur breves hasce notas; quas tu, qualescunque tandem sunt fructu leges. Sed duo sunt, quæ abs te mihi ignosci pervelim. Unum est, quod plerumque censoris personam gero, sæpiusque TOUPIUM reprehendo, quam laudo; alterum, quod libros alios haud raro indicavi, in quibus idem jam ante TOUPIUM observatum sit. De priori, ita res erat, faciundum fuit. Neque enim hoc juvenili jactantia feci, nec quo viris me longe majoribus vellicandis laudem mihi comparare vellem; sed semper ab eorum consuetudine valde abhorrui, qui nihil aliud quam _pulchre_, _bene_, _recte_, tertio quoque verbo ingerunt. Ego sane, nisi TOUPII ingenium et doctrinam maximi facerem, nunquam in eum, ne hæc quidem, quantulacunque sunt, scriberem. Sed editoris aut commentatoris officium esse duco, auctoris sui errores corrigere, delectus supplere. Vix unquam igitur TOUPII sententiam calculo meo comprobavi, nisi ubi novis argumentis confirmari posse, aut ab aliis criticis nullo jure impugnata esse videretur. Quod ad alterum attinet, neminem opinor adeo iniquum fore, ut credat me TOUPIO, quoties ejus cum aliis consensum memoro, plagii vel minimam suspicionem inustam velle. Sed cum duo scriptores idem tradant, mihi non alteruter, ab altero ideo sumpsisse, sed uterque rem recte reputantes, veritatis vi coacti, in eandem sententiam devenisse videntur. _Omnes enim_, inquit BENTLEIUS[4], _in multa incidimus, nescientes, illa jam ab aliis esse occupata_. Quæ observatio ut et mihi prosit rogo, si quid in his notulis, quod dictum sit prius, ipse dixisse inveniar.

_Dabam Londini, 1 Julii, 1787._

* * * * *

The Professor once kindly undertook to write down, for a young friend who was preparing to make a collection of classical and philological books, a list of such works as he conceived to be indispensable in a well-chosen library.

A paper book was provided, in which the Professor first wrote, Libri Desiderati in Museo. A.B.

The two first pages of this Manuscript are subjoined.

Euripidis Hippolytus Valckenærii cum Diatribe in perditas
Tragædias, &c.

Euripidis Phœnissæ Valckenærii Ursini Collatio Græcorum cum
Virgilio, cui accedunt Valckenærii Epistola ad M. Röverum et
Dissertatio de Scholiis in Homerum ineditis, &c.

Ammonius de differentia Vocum et alia ad Grammaticam spectantia
cum Animadversionibus Valckenærii.

Thomas Magister Bernardi, Oudendorpii et aliorum.

Gregoriùs Corinthi Episcopus de Dialectis per Gisbertum Koënium.

B. Brissonius de Formulis et solennibus verbis populi Rom.

Dion Cassius J. A. Fabricii et H. S. Reimari, 2 vol. fol.
Hamburgi.

Fax Artium Gruteri, 7 vol.

Selecta Theocriti Idyllia, a Valckenærio.

Gatakeri Opera Critica Trajecti ad Rhen. 2 vol. fol. interdum
in 1.

Dion Chrysostomus Reiskii, 2 vol. 8vo.

Arnobius Heraldi, 4to.

Clemens Alexandrinus Potteri.

Eusebii Præparatio } Evangelica a Fr. Vigero
Eusebii Demonstratio }

Ecclesiasticæ Historiæ Scriptores a Valesio, 3 vol. fol. (ed.
opt. Reading)

Pollux Hemsterhusii.

Philostratus Olearii.

Libanius.

Miscellaneæ Observationes a Britannis cœptæ, a Belgis
continuata.

Aristides Jebbii, 2 vol. 4to.

Beausobre Histoire du Manicheisme, 2 vol. 4.

Menagiana, 4 vol. ed. opt. 1729.

Mœris Atticista, 1759, Piersoni.

Ursini Fragmenta Lyricorum.

Artemidorus Rigaltii, Par. 1603. 4to.

* * * * *

The subjoined are specimens of Porson’s familiar Letters. The person to whom they were addressed negotiated, at Porson’s desire, with the bookseller, for the publication of the Letters to Travis. It is correctly stated in the Athenæum that the prize given was thirty pounds. That the publisher lost money by it can hardly be conceived. The book is now out of print and numbered among the scarcer books.

Dear ⸺

Settle the matter of publication for me in any way that you
think reasonable, or that would be satisfactory to yourself.
If you agree upon the terms that you mention in your letter,
inform me when they would wish to begin. For, as the Preface
will of course be printed last, I could send them a copy of
the Letters in the Magazine, properly corrected, within a few
days. With respect to the Lay Fellowship, I thank you for the
information, but if it is already vacant, you need not doubt of
its being given away. If you see the Rev. Mr. W. tell him the
same from me, which will be equivalent to an acknowledgement of
his letter, and tell him besides that Mr. Goodall is extremely
flattered by the attention of a person so much his superior in
dignity: συγκαθημενων, I would render the women who live with
him. The literal sense is, without doubt, “who sit together;”
but this expression refers to what was generally the case,
not what was the case in this particular instance, for we
are informed that it was quite the contrary. See Dorville on
Chariton, which I have not by me here.

I am, with compliments to ⸺

Your’s,

R. PORSON.

_Eton, 17 Sept. 1789._

The Clergyman alluded to in the above Letter, was the Rev. Dr. Wingfield, for a time head master of Westminster School, and since that period, Prebendary of Worcester, with whom Porson subsequently spent a great deal of his time. Mr. Goodall is the present worthy Provost of Eton College.

Dear ⸺

I think you may tell Mr. Egerton that I accept his proposals,
which appear to me liberal enough. I find upon a review of my
Letters in the Magazine, that besides changing the form of the
Address, I shall make several alterations and additions that
will render it necessary for me to write the whole over again.
I shall return to London some time next week with the first
part, fairly written for the press. I suppose that will be time
enough. Συγκατημένων is Ionic, as κατιεις for καθιεις, &c. Your
⸺ packed up in a small parcel, and directed as before, will
come safe.

I am, with compliments to ⸺

Your’s, &c.

R. PORSON.

_Eton, 28 Sept. 1789._

There are two things obvious from the above short Epistle, namely, that the Professor did not accustom himself to overrate the value of his talents, and that he was ready, at all times, to communicate, to those who required it, the benefit of his superior erudition.

Dear ⸺

I wrote to you last Monday, but as I suppose my Letter might
miscarry, I shall repeat the substance of it. I authorized you
to accept Mr. Egerton’s terms; to which I shall only add, what
I then omitted through haste, a request that you would stickle
for half a dozen copies to be thrown into the bargain. As I am
obliged to write over all my Letters that have been printed,
to prevent mistakes and confusion, I cannot let them have
any part of the copy before next week, when I expect to have
the pleasure of seeing you and ⸺ in town, to whom present my
compliments, and believe me to be

Your’s sincerely,

R. PORSON.

_Eton, 30 Sept. 1789._

PORSONIAN LEVITIES.

ÆNIGMA.

Ex eo genere quod ex duabus vocibus monosyllabis unam vocem disyllabon efficit.

Primum, secundum, tertium, sive totum, sive integrum.

Te primum incauto nimium, propiusque tuenti
LAURA, mihi furtim surrippuisse queror,
Nec tamen hoc furtum tibi condonare recusem
Si pretium simili solvere merce velis
Sed quo plus candoris habent tibi colla secundo
Hoc tibi plus _primum_ frigoris intus habet,
Jamque sinistra cava cantavit ab ilice _totum_
Omina, et audaces spes vetat esse ratas.

_On the Publications of_ Mrs. THRALE (PIOZZI), Mr. BOSWELL, _and_ Sir JOHN HAWKINS, _on the Subject of_ Dr. JOHNSON.

Lexiphanem fatis functum, qua fœmina, qua vir
Certain indignis dedecorare modis,
Hic quantum in Scotos fuerit testatus amorem
Enarrat, fatuos vendidit illa sales.
Fabellas Eques ede tuas, seu Musice mavis,
Si famæ Herois vis superesse nihil.

At Johnson’s death both sexes join,
His character to undermine,
Proclaim his courtesy to Scots,
And print his stupid anecdotes,
’Tis now thy turn musician knight,
Publish and damn his fame outright.

Porson one day visiting his brother-in-law Mr. P⸺, who at that time lived in Lancaster-court, in the Strand, found him indisposed, and under the influence of medicine. On returning to the house of a common friend, he of course expected to be asked after the health of his relation. After waiting with philosophic patience, without the expected questions being proposed, he reproached the company for not giving him an opportunity of giving the following answer, which he had composed on his walk.

My Lord of Lancaster, when late I came from it,
Was taking a medicine of names not a few,
In Greek an emetic, in Latin a vomit,
In English a puke, and in vulgar a ⸺.

The following humourous verses were undoubtedly composed by Porson, but they are not copied from his own hand-writing, which most of the things here inserted are. He, however, repeated them to the person from whose manuscript they are now printed.

ON THE POPULAR PLAY OF PIZARRO.

As I walked through the Strand so careless and gay,
I met a young girl who was wheeling a barrow,
Choice fruit, Sir, said she, and a bill of the play,
So my apples I bought, and set off for Pizarro.

When I got to the door, I was squeezed, and cried dear me,
I wonder they made the entrance so narrow,
At last I got in, and found every one near me
Was busily talking of Mr. Pizarro.

Lo! the hero appears, what a strut and a stride,
He might easily pass for a Marshal to-morrow,
And Elvira so tall, neither virgin nor bride,
The loving companion of gallant Pizarro.

But Elvira, alas! turned so dull and so prosy,
That I longed for a hornpipe by little Del Caro;
Had I been ’mong the Gods I had surely cried Nosy,
Come play up a jig, and a fig for Pizarro.

On his wife and his child his affection to pay,
Alonzo stood gazing, and straight as an arrow;
Of him I have only this little to say,
His boots were much neater than those of Pizarro.

Then the priestess and virgins, in robes white and flowing,
Walked solemnly on like a sow and her farrow,
And politely informed the whole house they were going
To entreat heaven’s curses on noble Pizarro.

Rolla made a fine speech with such logic and grammar,
As must sure raise the envy of Counsellor Garrow;
It would sell for five pounds were it brought to the hammer,
For it raised all Peru against valiant Pizarro.

Four acts are tol lol, but the fifth’s my delight,
Where history’s traced with the pen of a Varro,
And Elvira in black, and Alonzo in white,
Put an end to the piece by killing Pizarro.

I have finished my song if it had but a tune,
Nancy Dawson won’t do, nor the sweet banks of Yarrow,
I vow I would sing it from morning till noon,
So much am I charmed with the play of Pizarro.

Porson’s fondness for Algebra was universally known, but perhaps a more singular proof of this can hardly be adduced than is exhibited in the following equation, composed by him in Greek. The original is comprized in one line.

Τις ὁ αριθμος ον τεμνομενον εις δυο ανισεις μερεις η του
μειζονος μεριδος δυναμις μετα του ελαττονος μεταλαμβανομενη
ισος εσσεται του ελαττονος δυναμει μετα του μειζονος
μεταλαμβανομενῃ.

Required the number, which being divided into two unequal parts, the square of the greater added to the less shall be equal to the square of the less added to the greater. Let the numbers be _x_ and _y_.

_x_² × _y_ = _y_² × _x_
_x_² - _y_² = _x_ - _y_
_x_ + _y_ = _1_.

CHARADES AND RIDDLES.

I.

If Nature and Fortune had plac’d me with you,
On my first, we my second might hope to obtain;
I might marry you, were I my third, it is true;
But that marriage would only embitter my pain.

II.

My first is the lot that is destin’d by fate,
For my second to meet with in every state:
My third is by many philosophers reckoned,
To bring very often my first to my second.

III.

My first, though your house, nay your life, he defends,
You ungratefully name like the wretch you despise;
My second, I speak it with grief, comprehends
All the brave, and the good, and the learn’d, and the wise.
Of my third I have little or nothing to say,
Except that it tells the departure of day.

IV.

The child of a peasant, Rose thought it no shame
To toil at my first all the day;
When her father grew rich, and a farmer became,
My first to my second gave way:

Then she married a merchant, who brought her to town;
To this eminent station preferr’d.
Of my first and my second unmindful she’s grown,
And gives all her time to my third.

V.

My first is the nymph I adore,
The sum of her charms is my second,
I was going to call it my third,
But I counted a million and more,
Till I found they could never be reckoned;
So I quickly rejected the word.

VI.

My first in ghosts, ’tis said abounds,
And wheresoe’er she walks her rounds,
My second never fails to go,
Yet oft attends her mortal foe.
If with my third you quench your thirst,
You sink for ever in my first.

VII.

My first is expressive of no disrespect,
Yet I never shall call you it while you are by;
If my second you still are resolv’d to reject,
As dead as my third I shall speedily lie.

VIII.

My first of unity’s a sign;
My second ere we knew to plant,
We us’d upon my third to dine,
“If all be true that poets chant.”

IX.

Your cat does my first in your ear,
O that I were admitted as near;
In my second I’ve held you my fair
So long that I almost despair;
But my prey if at last I o’ertake,
What a glorious third I shall make.

X.

My first with more than quaker’s pride,
At your most solemn duty,
You keep, nor deign to throw aside,
E’en though it veils your beauty.
My second on your cheek or lip,
May kindle Cupid’s fire,
While from your eye or nose’s tip
It ne’er provokes desire.
But if your third you entertain
For your unhappy poet,
In mercy Chloe spare his pain,
Not ever let him know it.

The following specimens of good-natured levity and humour were also produced by him, without any study or previous meditation.

The little girl, who was his favourite, as has before been mentioned, one day led him by the hand into the kitchen, to deliver a message to a servant. A young woman who had lived long in the family, and was much respected, was ironing linen. Her name was Susan, and the child desired Porson to write some verses upon her. Porson, as soon as he returned to the parlour, pronounced the following lines.

When lovely Susan irons smocks,
No damsel ere looked neater,
Her eyes are brighter than her box,
And burn me like a heater.

On the extravagant terms of flattery, which Mr. Hayley and Miss Seward used in compliments to one another, Porson frequently indulged much satirical observation. The following dialogue is supposed to take place between the parties.

MISS SEWARD _loquitur_.

Tuneful Poet, Britain’s glory,
Mr. Hayley that is you.

HAYLEY _respondet_.

Ma’am, you carry all before you,
Trust me Lichfield Swan you do.

MISS SEWARD.

Ode, didactic, epic, sonnet,
Mr. Hayley you’re divine.

MR. HAYLEY.

Ma’am, I’ll take my oath upon it,
You yourself are all the Nine.

Copied from Porson’s Manuscript, but whether his own or not is uncertain.

DE
CE
LIEU
DIEU
SORT
MORT
SORT
FORT
DUR
MAIS
TRES
SUR

Qu a d t d p
os nguis irus risti ulcedine avit.
H sa m Ch m l

Mors mortis morti mortem nisi morte dedisset,
Aeternae vitæ janua clausa foret.

FRENCH CHARADES.

A Lise fais tu mon premier,
Qui prend le vrai pour le grossier,
Ne traite ne de gris ses yeux,
Ni de mon second ses cheveux,
On Lise en mon tout se mettra,
Et tes cheveux arrachera.

CHARADE BACCHIQUE.

Je reçu hier de mon cousin,
Pour etrennes tonneau de vin,
C’est mon premier lui m’en repond,
Pour la douceur et pour l’esprit,
Mais puisqu’au au moins c’est mon second,
Car c’est gratis comme j’ai dit.
Ouvrons mon tout, rien ne me coute,
Et buvons jusque a ne voir goutte.
...
Quand vous me fites mon premier,
En ravissant mon cœur, Iris,
Je jurai de vous adorer,
Malgre votre orgueilleux mepris,
Et voici ce que je promis,
J’amuserai jusqu’au dernier point.
Maintenant je ne songe point,
Aux sermens que je violés,
Ai je tort? vous en jugerez
Vous etes mon entier toujours.
Plus mon entier encor que belle,
Vous me jouez cent mauvais tours,
Du beau sexe trop vrai modele,
Doit ma constance etre eternelle?

ON THE ENQUIRIES MADE AFTER THE WRITER OF A CERTAIN LEARNED PREFACE.

Perturbed spirits spare your ink,
Nor beat your stupid brains no longer,
Soon to oblivion then shall sink
Your persecuted Preface-monger.

INCERTI AUCTORIS.

RIDDLE.

In every gift of Fortune I abound,
In me is every vice and virtue found,
With black and blue and green myself I paint,
With me an atheist stands before a saint;
Far above Nature, I make Art precede,
And before sovereigns give the poor the lead.
Many who bear the name of learned and wise,
Did I not help them, you would oft despise;
Nay more, within my grasp together bound
The king, the beggar, and the harlot’s found;
In one thing I excel the proudest lords,
You always may depend upon my words.

RIDDLE.

I’m sometimes very honest, sometimes not,
And less sincere at court than in a cot;
Sometimes I pleasure give, and sometimes pain,
And now I praise bestow, and now disdain;
The lovelier I appear when small my throne,
Enlarge but this, and all my beauty’s gone;
Sullen and silent when my friends are gone,
I’m e’en invisible if left alone;
Few things there are, at least but few I know,
Which cost so little, and so much bestow.

RIDDLE.

Tho’ so light is my weight that no strength is required,
They who take me about are oftentimes tired;
Short, long, narrow, broad, of materials not strong,
The forms I assume to rude fingers belong;
Under thousands of names I am every day seen,
And of very great use to dull people have been;
Nay! often the vulgarest creatures on earth
Take me from the hands of the noblest in birth;
Me the folks of the country in general disown,
So civil and gay, I’m fit only for town;
In the coldest of winters my back is quite bare,
Yet so little I find of compassion or care,
That as soon as I’m seen I’m thought worthy of none,
My service is past, and my business is done.

RIDDLE.

What could man do without my aid?
Or what each fair industrious maid?
I lead the first o’er sea and land,
The second takes me by the hand,
Presses me close with care and skill,
And makes me do whate’er she will.
I cannot boast of many charms,
I’ve neither feet, nor legs, nor arms,
But all allow I have an eye
So fine, it may with beauty vye;
I fear I many wounds impart,
Shed blood, but never touch the heart.
They who would contemplate my end,
For that’s the point where I offend,
Sharply to look about must mind,
Or me much sharper they will find.

It has been mentioned that Porson wrote some notes for Nicholson, to be prefixed to the edition of Xenophon’s Anabasis, published at Cambridge, in 1786. One of the copies of that work, given him by the bookseller, he presented to the writer of this article, with an inscription in Latin, written in his most beautiful manner, and expressed in the most flattering terms. A great many years afterwards he happened to take this particular Volume into his hands, and on looking at the inscription, hastily tore it out, promising the owner to write another. He never could be prevailed upon to explain his motive for this act, but it was conceived that some particular form of expression or disposition of the words had appeared erroneous to his better judgment. His friendly sentiments were certainly unchanged, which he manifested by subsequently writing another inscription in the book, expressed in terms, to the full as flattering as those which preceded. The words were these.

Viro doctissimo
atque
Amicissimo

Amicitiæ
Ergo
Donat.
RICARDUS PORSON.
1789.

That he was friendly and social, many examples have already been adduced, sufficiently strong and numerous to prove that Gilbert Wakefield’s application to him of the term “Misanthrope” was absurd and unjust. But he was occasionally very playful, and once in a very merry mood, being in company with the young lady, of whom we have before spoken, and for whom he wrote most of the Charades, (printed in this work) he offered a trifling wager, that he could carry her round the room in his teeth. This was accordingly accepted. He fixed a handkerchief round her waist, and by first obtaining a nice balance he actually accomplished his purpose, without any seeming inconvenience.

Upon the tendency of his politics it is not intended to expatiate. It never interrupted an harmonious intercourse of more than twenty years with him, who pays this tribute to his memory, and to whom, in a moment of confidence, he gave, in his own hand-writing, a Pamphlet written in answer to Mr. Burke’s Reflections on the French Revolution. It is termed, A new Catechism for the use of the Natives of Hampshire. It is written with much vivacity and humour, but strongly marks the incorrigible bitterness of his political prejudices.

The humour of the Tract consists in playing upon the expression of the Swinish Multitude, said to have been applied by Burke to the common people. The beginning and conclusion are inserted as a sufficient specimen.

_Q._ What is your name?

_A._ _Hog_ or _Swine_.

_Q._ Did God make you a _Hog_?

_A._ No. God made me man in his own image; the _Right Hon._
SUBLIME BEAUTIFUL made me a _Swine_.

_Q._ How did he make you a Swine?

_A._ By muttering obscure and uncouth spells. He is a dealer in
the black art.

_Q._ Who feeds you?

_A._ Our Drivers, the only real _men_ in this COUNTY.

_Q._ How many Hogs are you in all?

_A._ Seven or eight millions.

_Q._ How many Drivers?

_A._ Two or three hundred thousand.

_Q._ With what do they feed you?

_A._ Generally with husks, swill, draff, malt, grains, and now
and then with a little barley-meal and a few potatoes, and when
they have too much butter-milk themselves they give us some.

The following must be allowed not to be destitute of humour.

_Q._ What are the _Interpreters_[5] called?

_A._ The BLACK LETTER SISTERHOOD.

_Q._ Why do they give the office to women?

_A._ Because they have a fluent tongue, and a knack of scolding.

_Q._ How are they are dressed?

_A._ In gowns and false hair.

_Q._ What are the principal orders?

_A._ Three—_Writers_, _Talkers_, and _Hearers_, which last are
also called _Deciders_.

_Q._ What is their general business?

_A._ To discuss the mutual quarrels of the hogs, and to punish
their affronts to any or all of the drivers.

_Q._ If two hogs quarrel, how do they apply to the sisterhood?

_A._ Each hog goes separately to a _Writer_.

_Q._ What does the _Writer_?

_A._ She goes to a _Talker_.

_Q._ What does the _Talker_?

_A._ She goes to a _Hearer_ (or _Decider_.)

_Q._ What does the _Hearer_ decide?

_A._ What she pleases.

_Q._ If a hog is decided to be in the right, what is the
consequence?

_A._ He is _almost_ ruined.

_Q._ If in the _wrong_, what?

_A._ He is _quite_ ruined.

After some facetious sneers at the clergy, who are termed peace-makers, the dialogue proceeds.

_Q._ How are these peace-makers rewarded?

_A._ With our potatoes.

_Q._ What with all?

_A._ Ten per cent. only.

_Q._ Then you have still ninety left in the hundred?

_A._ No, we have only forty left.

_Q._ What becomes of the odd fifty?

_A._ The drivers take them, partly as a small recompence for
their trouble in protecting us, and partly to make money of
them, for the prosecution of law-suits with the neighbouring
farmers.

_Q._ You talk very sensibly for a hog; whence had you your
information?

_A._ From _a learned Pig_.

The following is given by way of answer to the question by what ceremony the hog is disenchanted, and resumes his natural shape.

_A._ The hog that is going to be disenchanted, grovels before
the _Chief Driver_, who holds an iron skewer over him, and
gives him a smart blow on the shoulder, to remind him at once
of his former subjection and future submission. Immediately
he starts up, like the devil from Ithuriel’s spear, in his
proper shape, and ever after goes about with a nick-name. He
then beats his hogs without mercy, and when they implore his
compassion, and beg him to recollect that he was once their
_Fellow Swine_, he denies that ever he was a hog.

This curious dialogue thus concludes:—

_Q._ What is the general wish of the hogs at present?

_A._ To save their bacon.

Chorus of hogs.

Amen.

It may be observed of Porson, as Junius heretofore remarked of himself, that perhaps his own recollection could not always bring before him the numerous things he had written at various times, and on different occasions. Two learned articles of great judgment and acute criticism, may be pointed out, which not improbably Porson never communicated, except to the individuals for whose immediate service they were intended; more particularly as those individuals proudly pursued and sturdily avowed principles and sentiments, in the most determined opposition to those with whom the Professor lived with greater familiarity and intimacy.

The first of these was an article containing very learned and ingenious observations on the Codex Theodori Bezæ Cantabrigiensis, published by Dr. Kipling in 1793.

The reader may remember, that this MS. was so printed, that every page, line, word, letter, and point, as far as types can imitate hand-writing, corresponded with the original. Dr. Woide had done the same thing before with respect to the celebrated Alexandrian MS. But of the two works, the Professor remarks, “that as much as Kipling’s work is superior to Dr. Woide’s in its outside, so does it appear to be below it in intrinsic merit.”

The Professor objects, in the first instance, to the title prefixed by Dr. Kipling, viz. Codex Theodori Bezæ Cantabrigiensis. It is argued that an ambiguity is here involved, and that the natural construction of the words would make Bezæ, a Cambridge man at least, if not a member of the University. The whole, however, forms a fair and candid specimen of criticism, though the writer persists to the last in assigning the higher rank in point of merit to Dr. Woide’s most valuable publication.

The other Critical Essay, to which the Professor materially contributed, was a series of remarks on Wakefield’s Lucretius. It could not escape the discernment of so sagacious an observer as Porson manifestly was, that even when performing the office merely of editing a classical author, Wakefield could not resist the impulse he always obeyed of obtruding his opinions on subjects no more connected with Lucretius than with the history of China; and this has extorted the following sentence, sharp enough it must be acknowledged, but unquestionably true. “Mr. W.’s notes are very numerous and various; philological, critical, illustrative, and political, such as he always pours forth with a facility which judgment sometimes limps after in vain.”

It is well known to scholars, that the undertaking of collating manuscripts is very far from being an easy task, but in this labour the Professor was remarkably well skilled. It will appear from the observations here alluded to, that Porson actually submitted to the drudgery of collating three of the manuscripts employed by Wakefield. These MSS. were as follows:—

A MS, belonging to the public library at Cambridge, designated in Wakefield’s edition by the Greek letter Ω.

A MS. belonging to Edward Poore, Esq. of no great value or antiquity, referred to by Ο.

And three Harleian MSS. preserved in the British Museum, respectively called in the edition Δ. Π. Σ.

These three last MSS. being immediately within his reach, the Professor carefully collated, and the result of his conclusion was, that Wakefield cannot receive the palm of a skilful and scrupulously accurate collator. It is not intended to assert that the passage which follows, came from Porson’s pen, but it is so perfectly true in itself, and characteristic of Wakefield, that it is here inserted.

“In thus examining the present Edition of Lucretius, we feel a strong confidence that we shall not be suspected of being actuated by any resentment against a person, who must himself feel the chief evils of a restless, impatient, intolerant, mind. We think it, indeed, most lamentable, that a man, whose proper occupations are study and polite literature, should be so little able to command himself, as to fall into extravagances of political conduct, injurious ultimately to himself and family. Too many instances of this spirit appear completely out of their places in this Edition of Lucretius, in the form of political verses, allusions to the glories of France, and aspirations after similar changes here, with prophetic intimations of their approach.

“In such a farrago, abuse of us and our work, as supporting all that Mr. W. wishes to see overthrown, is virtually the highest compliment, and though we owe no gratitude to the author, we cannot but approve the tendency of his conduct towards us.

“We see, however, in his pages not the slightest tincture of that character, which he has, very early in his Preface, bestowed upon himself. ‘Si quis unquam diffidens mei.’ A most extravagant self-confidence, on the contrary, is every where conspicuous, except in a few of the prefatory flourishes; and though his maturer judgment has enabled him to see in his own ‘Silva critica plurima quæ sint juveniliter temeraria απροσδιονυσα prorsus et homine critico indigna,’ yet the very same character unimproved, will be found to prevail in his critical conjectures, scattered abundantly throughout the notes to his work, and readily accessible by means of his critical index. No author escapes his rage for correction, and Horace and Virgil in particular would have as little knowledge of their own works, were they presented to them reformed à la Wakefield, as we should of the British constitution were it given to his emendation. We can, however, pity while we censure, and most sincerely wish that with a more temperate mind, even in literature, he would give himself exclusively, and without mixture, to those studies, in which, with all his failings, he has certainly made a proficiency not common among scholars of this country.”

Whether the miscellaneous articles which follow be worthy of insertion, may by some be doubted, but they are genuine, and asperity may be softened by the consideration that they are the last.

If the reader will refer to the edition of Demosthenes, by Wolfius, printed at Frankfort, 1604, at p. 470, he will find the Oration of Æschines contre Ctesiphontem to conclude thus:

Και ειμεν καλως και αζιως του αδικηματος κατηγορηκα, ειπον ως
εβουλομην, ειδε ενδεεστερως ως εδυναμην.

Porson has noted a singular coincidence of expression to be found in the 38th verse of the last chapter of the second book of Maccabees.

“And if I have done well and as fitting the story it is that which I desired, but if slenderly and meanly, it is that which I could attain unto.”

Part of a humourous and satirical copy of verses addressed to Dr. W⸺, on his being appointed Tutor to the D⸺ of G⸺ by some attributed to Porson, by some to a hand now Right Reverend.

A POETICAL ADDRESS.