Chapter II: Act II: SCENE 1. (Same as Act I. Sixteen years later.)

(_The curtain rises upon the same room. The only change is that now a bench is in place of the cradle. The Princess, her Attendant, and the Courtier, who is the Page of the first act, grown up, are sitting on the dais steps. The Princess is in the middle. She is trying to play a mandolin, and is doing very badly. The Courtier is much bored. He and the Attendant have a little by-play behind the Princess’ back, as she plays._)

PRINCESS.

There now, that’s right, I think, yes, yes, that’s right.

COURTIER.

Well, even yet--I hardly think that it’s--

ATTENDANT (_gently_).

I think you ought to strike the strings like this.

PRINCESS (_crossly_).

I think a princess ought to know the way.

COURTIER.

Oh yes, Your Highness owns the crystal globe
Of wisdom, and knows _everything_ on earth.

PRINCESS.

Oh fiddlesticks!

COURTIER.

And as for beauty--why
The morning star is but a homely thing,
A common little stupid point of light, (_He snaps his fingers as if
at the morning star_)
Compared to you. (_The Princess bends over her mandolin, much
absorbed in it, and the Courtier immediately tries to hold the
hand of the Attendant._)

PRINCESS (_meaning his flattery_).

Oh stop such foolishness.

COURTIER (_quickly removing his hand_).

And as for joy, the bubbling mirth of spring,
The glamorous delight of golden hours,
The soft, sweet, soothing scent of summer showers,
The radiant happiness--

PRINCESS.

Oh what a fib--
You know yourself that I am just as cross
As I can be to-day. I wish I knew
What was the matter with me. Oh, I wish
It were tomorrow. I have always longed
To have that birthday come: my seventeenth!
I wonder if I’ll feel much more grown up
Tomorrow. Well, at any rate I hope
I won’t feel quite so cross--You wish it, too,
I guess, poor dears--I’m sorry. (_She suddenly makes a most horrible
noise on the mandolin._)

COURTIER (_putting his hands over his ears_).

Please--oh please.

PRINCESS (_sternly_).

I think you’re very rude. You ought to like
Whatever I may do. (_Considering_) I think perhaps
I’ll have your head chopped off at once for that.

COURTIER (_on his knees_).

I humbly crave thy pardon, Highness, dear,
I pray thee, let me keep my head awhile--
At least a _little_ longer. I have tried
So long to get this moustache, worked _so_ hard,
I should be desolate if all that work
Were done in vain. And then, consider this--
My head would not be handsome on a pole.

PRINCESS.

I think you’re much too vain. Get up at once. (_He gets up, and the
Princess attempts to play something on the mandolin. They listen
attentively. She finishes and looks up for applause._)
What was I playing then? I love that piece.

COURTIER.

The death song of the Seven Kitchen Cats?

PRINCESS (_disgusted_).

No, no, it’s not. I wouldn’t speak at all
If every time I spoke I showed myself
As awfully stupid as you seem to be.

COURTIER.

We’re not all gifted as your Highness is.

PRINCESS.

That’s very clear. I s’pose it’s not your fault
That you’ve been born without the slightest ear
For music. Now the name of that piece was,
“Beneath thy turret window, love, I wait.”

COURTIER.

I crave thy pardon, Highness, my mistake.

PRINCESS.

Come on let’s stop--I’m awfully sick of this.
This is the dullest day I’ve ever known.
I wish it were tomorrow.

COURTIER (_feelingly_).

So do I. (_The Princess looks at him sternly and he hastily
continues._)
Your birthday, Highness, is a festal day--
The Kingdom and its subjects all rejoice--
To think that you were born to fill the world
With radiance--

PRINCESS (_in a towering rage_).

Gadzooks! odds-bodkins! now, this is enough!

ATTENDANT (_in horror_).

Your Highness, oh such language!

PRINCESS.

Well, papa
Says just those words, don’t interrupt me please.
He’s simply making fun of me, I know.
I can’t stand any more of this--Ho guards!

(_Courtier and Attendant throw themselves on floor._)

ATTENDANT.

Pray pardon him, oh Princess--think--just think
He does, amuse us--

COURTIER.

Yes, and I might spoil
If I should languish in a dungeon dark.

PRINCESS.

Get up, get up--I’m acting like a pig!
A perfect pig, and you’re just idiots.
I’m sure I hope the day will end without
My doing something simply horrible.

COURTIER (_ruefully_).

I’m sure _I_ hope so, too.

PRINCESS.

Well, please look out.
I think I’ll get my golden ball of joy--
We’ll try to have a little fun with that.

ATTENDANT.

I’ll get it for you.

COURTIER.

No, let me, let me.

PRINCESS.

Stay there and rest. You’d need it I should think.

(_She runs out. The others sink down with relief on the dais steps._)

ATTENDANT.

Why, in the name of heaven, do you say
Such awful things?

COURTIER.

What awful things, dear heart?

ATTENDANT.

You know, all that about her radiance?
Of course it makes her simply furious.
I thought that you were done for twice at least.

COURTIER.

I was a little nervous there myself.
When they begin to talk that regal stuff
You never know where they, or you, will end.
Yes, that’s the trouble with these kings and queens,
They get a little mad, perhaps, and then
They stick you in a dungeon, or perhaps
They cut your head off--just like this--(_Makes motion of cutting
off head._)
Oh, well--
The whims of Kings and things are passing strange! (_He makes a
nonchalant gesture._)

ATTENDANT.

But why, why do you say such silly things?

COURTIER.

A courtier’s business is to flatter kings--
That’s his excuse for being. Don’t you know,
They teach the pages flattery in school.
Why, it’s a course--I passed it very high.

ATTENDANT.

What nonsense!

COURTIER.

No, my dear--I’ll tell you why
I say such things. I mean them all for you.
I say them to the Princess with my lips
Because that’s proper etiquette--but oh
My heart is singing them aloud to you.[6]

(_He tries to kiss her--the Princess enters but does not see them._)

PRINCESS.

Come on now, here it is, let’s have a game.

(_They throw the ball._)

ATTENDANT.

Perhaps we’d better all go out and play,
We might break something here, I think.

PRINCESS.

No--no--
The sun’s too hot--my head aches--no, I won’t.
Besides it’s much more fun to play in here.
Much more exciting, just because we might
Knock something over. My I’d like a crash--
A good loud crashing smash.
(_To Courtier_) You throw too high,
It isn’t fair. (_He throws the ball off stage._)
There now, see what you’ve done!

(_All follow ball toward door. The Princess scrambles to catch it._)

ATTENDANT.

Oh, where’s it gone?

(_The Princess disappears out of the door and calls back._)

PRINCESS (_outside_).

It slipped out of my hands,
It’s dropped down in the courtyard,--hurry, do,
It’s rolling toward the fountain, stop it, quick. (_The Courtier
rushes out, and the Princess comes back and throws herself down
on the divan._)
Now, isn’t that a nuisance! What a day!
Just everything’s gone wrong, oh, what a bore!
The ball will probably stop up the drain,
And then papa will be so awfully cross.

ATTENDANT.

Perhaps it would amuse you if I brought
The magic mirror of your beauty.

PRINCESS.

No--of course I know I’m very beautiful,
So what’s the use of looking in the glass?

ATTENDANT.

I’m sure that it would never bore me so.

PRINCESS (_with unintentional unkindness_).

Perhaps not you. Oh well, then bring it on.
Why can’t we change our faces like our clothes.
You get so tired of the same old face. (_Attendant hands her the
mirror. The Princess gives a sudden scream._)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, do I look like that?

ATTENDANT.

Like what--like what?

PRINCESS.

All queer and lumpy--oh--
What can have happened--oh how horrible--
I’m sure that I don’t look like that--oh no!!

ATTENDANT (_frightened, looking first at Princess then at
mirror_).

You don’t, you don’t--the mirror’s just gone bad,
The glass is sort of curdled.

PRINCESS.

So it is.
Like sour milk, how dreadful, take it, quick!
I never knew that glass could act like this--
It makes me feel quite seasick. Let’s go out.

ATTENDANT.

Perhaps you’d best lie down a little while
And take some wine, some of your father’s--do--
I’ll call your mother--

PRINCESS (_grabbing her_).

Stop it--no, you won’t.
She’d tell Papa--I wouldn’t have him know
For anything. He’d be so awfully cross
If anything has happened to that glass.
He’s always told me I must take such care
Of it--and of my ball and of the globe.
I s’pose I haven’t kept it clean enough--
Or something. Hide it underneath the throne--(_She does so._)
Perhaps a cool dark place will make it right.
Come on--let’s go and help fish out the ball--
I think the Courtier must have fallen in
The fountain, he’s been such a length of time.

(_Exit both. Enter King and Queen. Queen carries a chess board._)

KING.

Well, now, my dear, she’s almost seventeen,
And nothing’s happened yet. I think she’s safe.
Tomorrow is her birthday. I’d forget
That foolish prophesy if I were you.

QUEEN (_sits down on chest_).

Well, you’re a man. Of course you’d talk like that.

KING.

It isn’t likely now that such a thing
Could happen, dear. I think it was a bluff
To scare us all--and it’s so long ago--
I’m sure Aunt Fairy of the Sable Caves,
Has just forgotten all about the child.

QUEEN.

Oh well--of course, you men have just no nerves.
I shan’t feel safe until tomorrow’s come.

KING.

Why, if it were to happen, seems to me,
It would have happened long ago, my dear.

QUEEN.

Well, this has been a simply ghastly year,
I’ve hardly dared to let her from my sight,
For fear that frightful spell would just swoop down.

KING.

It surely has, my dear--and I’ll be glad--
More glad than I can say to have it end
Tomorrow--there’s no reason is there dear
Why you’re particularly worried now?
Has anything gone wrong?

QUEEN.

No, not at all.
Except the child seems very cross to-day--
And that’s not natural at all you know.

KING.

Oh well, perhaps she feels us worrying.
Her magic charms are perfectly all right
I hope.

QUEEN.

Oh yes--she had them all last night--quite safe.
The ball and globe and mirror.

KING.

Well, then, come on, let’s have a game of chess. (_They go up to
divan, sit down, and begin to play._)
I hear our next door kingdom’s much distressed
And ravaged by a dragon that’s appeared.

QUEEN.

No--you don’t say? Now isn’t that a shame!
I hope the nasty thing won’t come to ours.

KING (_about the chess_).

I’ve almost caught your queen now.

QUEEN (_listening_).

Here she comes.

(_Enter Princess with Courtier and Attendant. The two latter bow formally to King and Queen, then stand at attention at either corner of the dais. The Princess sits down on the divan beside the King, rubs her face against his, and puts one arm around his neck. He squirms._)

KING.

Well pet--where have you been? Excuse me, dear--
You know, I love your arm about my neck--
But really now--it’s just a little damp.
What can you have been doing with it, dear?

QUEEN (_worried_).

What, is it very wet? You may catch cold!

PRINCESS (_bored_).

Oh no, I won’t catch cold--it’s nothing--please--
Papa, it’s really hardly wet at all.

QUEEN.

How did you get your arm wet? It’s very odd.

PRINCESS.

Well, we’ve been dabbling in the fountain there,
And so my sleeve slipped in a bit--that’s all.

KING.

She probably was sailing little boats.

PRINCESS (_irritated_).

I’m not a child, Papa. Tomorrow I’ll
Be seventeen, please do remember that.

QUEEN.

Why were you playing in the fountain, dear?
You haven’t told us yet.

PRINCESS.

Oh, just because
Something of mine dropped in it. That was all.

KING.

And did you get it out again, my dear?

PRINCESS.

I didn’t, no. I think the yellow frog
Has swallowed it. It wasn’t anything
Especially important anyway. (_Courtier and Attendant
exchange glances._)
Now please don’t talk about it any more.
I wish that something nice would happen. Oh
It’s been a horrid day, just everything’s
Gone wrong, and I feel simply bored to death.

KING (_alarmed_).

Well, let’s do something then to cheer you up.

PRINCESS.

There’s not a thing to do--there never is.

QUEEN.

Let’s talk about your birthday presents then.

PRINCESS.

Oh, no, that’s such a bore. Tomorrow seems
As though it were a hundred years away.

(_The King and Queen start in consternation and horror and turn pale if possible._)

QUEEN (_gasping_).

Oh don’t child; don’t--

KING (_sternly_).

Child, why did you say that?

PRINCESS (_yawning_).

Oh, I don’t know I’m sure--why such a fuss?
(_Languidly_) Come on let’s get my crystal globe and see
If there is anything at all in that
That is amusing. Courtier--get it, please.

(_He bows and goes out of the room._)

QUEEN.

Oh, do you think it wise, to-day I mean.

PRINCESS.

I’m sure I can’t see why it isn’t wise,
To look into my globe of wisdom now,
Or any other time.

QUEEN (_reluctantly_).

Well, as you wish.

(_Courtier enters with it, bows and places it on the dais in front of the Royal Group._)

KING.

What shall we look for dear? You’d better choose.

PRINCESS (_kneeling in front of King and Queen and
looking in globe_).

I know what would be fun--let’s look ahead
And see the future. Take tomorrow first.
Show us tomorrow globe--now all look hard.

(_All are silent a minute gazing in globe._)

PRINCESS.

Show us tomorrow--quick you stupid thing--
It’s awfully queer and cloudy--sort of black--
I never saw it act that way before.

QUEEN (_nervously_).

Oh, why do you suppose it’s acting so?

KING (_with common sense_).

We simply are not in the proper mood,
No other reason.

PRINCESS.

No, it isn’t that.
It’s always clear, with pictures that are bright.
The future’s stupid anyway. Let’s look
At something in the past--my Christening--

QUEEN (_agonized_).

Oh no, not that to-day, not that to-day.

PRINCESS (_as a spoiled child_).

Oh fiddlesticks, why not. Ah here it is.
Yes, yes, here’s this same room--now this is clear--
Oh there you are, Papa, and there’s Mamma--
How funnily you’re dressed--the styles have changed
Since then Mamma. Oh who are these--these three
Quite lovely people?

QUEEN (_in a stifled voice_).

They’re the fairies, dear,
Who gave you your three lovely gifts you know.
Now, that’s enough my dear--let’s put it up.

PRINCESS.

No, no, I won’t. I want to see the rest.
Why who’se this coming in? A queer black thing,
She’s awfully angry, and you look so scared.
And see--the words she says are written out--
“Hark to the spell I lay”--

KING.

Odds-bodkins! zounds!

(_He raises his scepter and smashes the crystal globe. The Queen and Princess rise in horror and amazement._)

PRINCESS.

Papa--papa--how could you--oh papa!
You’ve broken it--my precious crystal globe.
How _could_ you--and you’ve spoiled the picture, too!
I think it’s just too bad (_she sobs_).

KING (_dominating the scene_).

My child, no more--
I am the king, no one may question me!
My power comes from heaven, that you know
As well as I. And if I choose to break
The crystal globes of all my subjects--then
Break them I will and none may question why--
Aye, if I choose, to go throughout the land
Into each kitchen of each home therein,
And with my scepter, sweep from off the shelves,
The crockery, and smash it on the floor--
And dance upon the fragments, even then
No one may question me, but must submit,
And with a gracious spirit, being glad
They have a king so wise and lenient.
Now take this little lesson to thy heart.

PRINCESS (_quite humbly, kneeling_).

Father, I will--thy word, of course, is law--
And I would not presume to question thee.
I crave thy pardon sire. (_To Courtier and Attendant_) Come along
(_She jumps to her feet._)
Let’s go up to the tower room and see
If any swallows’ eggs have hatched to-day.

(_The King mops his brow. As Princess, Attendant and Courtier are about to go out, the Queen sees something sticking out from under the throne. She takes it out and sees the magic mirror, spoiled._)

QUEEN (_in horror_).

My dear, your magic mirror--why, it’s spoiled!

PRINCESS (_pretending unconcern_).

I know, I found it out this afternoon
Just after I had lost my ball of joy
Down in the fountain--Isn’t it a shame.

(_She rushes out with Attendant and Courtier anxious to escape. The King and Queen look at each other in horror._)

QUEEN (_in a whisper_).

The fairies’ charms are ruined--

KING (_in despair_).

And what next?

Curtain.