Chapter XI: Home Life with the Mother (4)

"_L'Estelle, April 8._--My mother continued so seriously ill up to
yesterday morning, that I was certain if she were not moved at
once, I must not hope she ever would be. Dr. Taylor declined to
take the responsibility, but I felt some one _must_ act; so I sent
for a large carriage, and had her carried down into it like a baby,
and brought off here, only two hours' easy drive from Pau. Before
we had gone six miles she began to revive, was carried to her room
without exhaustion, and to-day opens her eyes on a lovely view of
the snow mountains above the chestnut woods, with a rushing river
and the old convent of Bétharram in the gorge, which is a wonderful
refreshment after having lived in a narrow street, and seen nothing
but a white-washed wall opposite for eleven weeks. Already she is
better."

_To_ MY SISTER.

"_L'Estelle, April 9._--You will have heard of our great sorrow....
A week ago dearest Emma's fever passed and took the form of prayer,
which, as Charlotte says, 'flowed like a river.' Once she said, 'I
have been fed with angels' food; I did not _ask_ for it, I could
not, but I have _had_ it.' Her last resting-place is at Toft.
Charlotte was able to be present.... I feel that, though we have
many still to love, no one can ever fill the _same_ place in our
hearts."

[261]

During my mother's long illness at Pau, I naturally thought of nothing, and saw scarcely any one, but her. In the last three weeks, however, after her rally, and before the last alarm, I saw a few people, amongst them very frequently Lady Vere Cameron, whose husband, Cameron of Lochiel, had been known to my mother from girlhood. Through Lady Vere, I was introduced to a remarkable circle then at Pau, which formed a society entirely occupied with spiritualism. Most extraordinary were the experiences they had to narrate. I have kept some notes of my acquaintance with them:--

"_Pau, March 1865._--When I was at Lady Vere Cameron's, the subject
of table-turning was brought forward, and I then said that I had
been told that I was a medium, meaning merely with reference to
tables. We sat down to a table and it turned. Soon it began to rap
violently, and a scratching noise was heard underneath. This I
believe to have been owing to some ventriloquism on the part of
Ferdinand Russell, who was present, but it excited Lady Vere very
much.

"Some days after I had a note from Lady Vere to desire that I would
come to be introduced to her 'particular friend,' Mrs. Gregory, at
a party in her own house. As I knew that Mrs. Gregory was a great
spiritualist and much occupied with the subject, I naturally
supposed that this desire to make my acquaintance was due to the
table-turning at Lady Vere's, and I went expecting to find a
séance.

"But it was a large party, a great number of people whom I had
never seen before. Mrs. Gregory had the odd expression of always
looking for something behind her. She spoke at once of my being a
medium, and then said in an excited manner, 'But are you far
advanced? are you like me? when a friend is going to die, do you
see it written before you in letters of light _there_?'--pointing
into vacancy. 'No,' I said, 'certainly not: that never happens to
me.' Speaking of this afterwards to a Mr. Hamilton, he bade me
beware, for very unpleasant things often happened at Mrs. Gregory's
séances, or, if they did not happen, every one present believed
that they did--that hands appeared, &c.: that his cousin, Mrs. H.
of S., had received messages from her child who was dead: that
others also had received messages from their dead relations. The
meetings were always solemnly opened with prayer.

"At Mrs. White Hedges' I saw Mrs. H. She said that she also was
certain that I was a medium, and asked whether I did not frequently
have messages from the other world. I said 'No,' and that I did not
wish to have any. 'What,' she said, with a look of great surprise,
'you do not wish, then, for the regeneration of the world; for if
you did you would feel that it can only be brought about through
the instrumentality of spirits.'"

"_April 4._--At Lady Robinson's[262] I again met Mrs. Gregory, who
asked me to come on the 6th to help her to turn a table, and see if
I should receive any messages. I agreed to do so, understanding
that nothing more was intended than she said. Afterwards I sat by
Miss N. L., who said, 'I see that terrible woman has been getting
hold of you. Pray don't go. You don't know what you will see. Every
one who goes is beguiled by small pretexts till they see the most
appalling things. It can only be through the devil.'

"Persuaded by Miss N. L., I went to Mrs. Gregory and said, 'Mrs.
Gregory, do tell me exactly what you expect to happen on Thursday,
because I do not wish to _see_ anything.'

"'Oh, you are a coward, are you?' said both Mrs. Gregory and Mrs.
Alexander, who was sitting near her.

"'Yes, certainly I am a coward about trifling with the
supernatural. It is not because I do not believe that spirits can
return from the dead, but because I do believe it that I would
rather not come, if you expect to see anything.'

"'Well, I can only say that both seeing and receiving messages are
the greatest possible comfort to me: it is only that which keeps me
in my right mind,' said Mrs. Gregory.

"I answered that I should dislike being upset for the ordinary and
practical duties of life by being led to dwell constantly upon the
supernatural.

"'That is precisely what strikes me as the greatest advantage,'
said Mrs. Gregory; 'surely one cannot think too much of the other
world. To feel that spirits are constantly watching you, and
grieving or rejoicing over you, must surely tend to keep you from a
great deal of evil. I have known many infidels entirely converted
to a new and Christian life by what they have seen with me--Mr.
Ruskin, for instance. I asked Mr. Ruskin one day what he believed,
and he answered "Simply nothing." He afterwards came to my house
several times when I had séances, and then he took my hands, and
with tears in his eyes said, "Mrs. Gregory, I cannot thank you
enough for what you have shown me: it will change my whole life,
for because I have seen I believe." Mr. Pickersgill the artist was
another instance. Certainly hands often appear to me, but I like to
see them. If you had lost any one who was a part of your life,
would you not like to know that you were receiving a message from
those you loved? You need not be afraid of the messages I receive.
Just before I came here I received this message--"Keep close to God
in prayer." There was nothing dreadful in that, was there? Was not
that a beautiful message to receive. But sometimes the spirits are
conflicting. There are good and bad spirits. If the messages are
not such as we should wish, then we know the bad spirits are there.
All this is in the Bible, "Ye shall try the spirits, whether they
be good or evil." This is one of the means of grace which God gives
us: surely we ought not to turn aside from it.'

"Afterwards I asked Lady Robinson her experience. She said that she
had been at one of the séances, but nothing appeared and 'the
Indicator' gave nothing decided. She said it was conducted most
seriously, with all religious feeling. She described Mrs. Gregory
as not only praying at the time, but living in a state of prayer,
and she believed that the messages were granted in answer to real
faith. She said quantities of people had seen the hands appear.
Mrs. Gregory had a very large séance at Sir William Gomm's in
London, and Lady Gomm asked for an outward sign before she would
believe. A bodiless hand then appeared, and, taking up a vase with
a plant in it from a china dish upon the table, set it on the
floor, and then breaking a flower from the plant, came and laid it
in Lady Gomm's lap: all the company saw it.

"I told the Taylors what I had heard. Sir Alexander said that he
thought the chief good of such a clever physician as Mrs. Gregory's
husband (Dr. Gregory of the powders) appearing would be to write a
prescription for the living."

While we were at Pau, my sister wrote much to me upon the death of Cardinal Wiseman, to whom she was greatly devoted, and whom I have always believed to be a most sagacious and large-hearted man. His burly figure upon the sands at Eastbourne used to be very familiar to me in my boyhood. I heard Monsignor Capel, who afterwards attained some celebrity, preach his funeral sermon at Pau.

"Thirty years ago," he said, "there were only six Catholic churches
in London; now there are forty-six. Then there were six Catholic
schools in London; now there are at least three in each of these
parishes--one for boys, one for girls, and one for infants. Then
there were only 30,000 Catholics in all England; now there are two
millions, one-ninth of the whole population of the country. Then
there were no religious Orders except the Jesuit Fathers, who had
lingered on from the Reformation, flying from one Catholic house to
another, and administering the sacraments in fear and trembling;
now there are in London the followers of St. Francis and St.
Dominic, the Passionist Fathers, the Redemptorists, and at least
twelve nunneries of English ladies. All this change is in a great
measure due to Cardinal Wiseman, the founder of the English
hierarchy. He entered on his labours in troublous times: with the
enthusiasm and love of splendid ritual which he imbibed as a
Spanish boy, with the ecclesiastical learning of Italy, with the
dogmatic perseverance and liberality which he drank in with his
English education. He chose as the title of his bishopric the see
of the last martyred English bishop, and he also thirsted for
martyrdom."

These notes are curious as showing how the rapid growth of Catholicism in England, which we Protestants are so unwilling to recognise, had advanced under Cardinal Wiseman's leadership.

At L'Estelle my mother daily revived, and was soon able to sit out on the sunny balcony, for the valleys of the Pyrenees were already quite hot, though the trees were leafless and the mountains covered with snow. It was long, however, before I ventured to leave her to go beyond the old convent of Bétharram, with its booths of relics and its calvary on a hill. When she was stronger, we moved to Argelès, a beautiful upland valley, whence excursions are very easy to Cauterets and Luz. Afterwards we visited Eaux Chaudes and Eaux Bonnes; but though the snow was too deep to allow of mountain rambles, the heat was already too intense for enjoyment of the valleys. We had left Pau without a sign of vegetation, and when we came back three weeks later, it was in all the deadest, heaviest green of summer. So it was a great refreshment to move at once to Biarritz, with its breezy uplands, covered with pink daphne, and its rolling, sparkling, ever-changing sea, so splendid in colour. To my mother, Biarritz was a complete restorative, and she was able there to take up her drawing again, to enjoy seeing friends, and to enter into the interests and peculiarities of the curious Basque country.

]

We visited many of the Basque churches, which are always encircled within by three galleries, except over the altar. These galleries are of black oak. The men sit in the galleries, and the women below, and they enter at different doors. In the churchyards the graves have all little crosses or Basque head-stones with round tops, and they are all planted with flowers. The houses all have wide overhanging roofs and external wooden galleries. Bidart and Cambo are good specimens of Basque villages. Bidart is a beautiful place on the road to S. Jean de Luz, and has a church with the characteristic overhanging belfry and high simple buttresses. A wide entry under the organ-loft is the only entrance to the church. In the hollow below is a broken bridge reflected in a pool, which is golden at sunset, and which, with the distant sea and sands, and the old houses with their wooden balconies scattered over the hillside, forms a lovely picture. Here I stayed one evening to draw with Miss Elizabeth Blommart, an acquaintance we made at Biarritz (afterwards our friend for many years), while my mother and Lea walked on, and descended from the opposite hill upon the sands. We had often been told of the treacherous waves of Bidart, but could not have believed in danger--so distant, beyond the long reaches of sand, seemed the calm Atlantic, glistening in the last rays of sunlight. To our horror, when we had nearly finished our drawing, we looked up, and saw my mother and Lea coming towards us pouring with salt water from cloaks, bonnets, everything. They had been walking unsuspiciously on the sands three-quarters of a mile from the sea, when suddenly, without any warning, a great wave surrounded them. My mother was at once swept off her feet, but Lea, with her usual presence of mind, caught her cloak and rolled it round her arm, and plunging herself deep into the sand, resisted the water and held her mistress till the wave receded, when they made their escape. A few days afterwards an Englishman with his little dog was walking in the Bay of Bidart; the man escaped, but the dog was swept out to sea.

Cambo is two hours' drive from Biarritz--a most pleasant watering-place on a high terrace above the Nive, with pergolas of vines and planes, a churchyard which is a perfect blaze of lilies and roses, and an inn-garden which is full of lovely flowers. Close by is the opening to the Pas de Roland, a grand little gorge where the Nive rushes through the mountains--a finer Dovedale. A rocky path ascends by the side of the stream and climbs a succession of steeps to _la roche percée_, through which it passes to a little hamlet and old bridge. Eighteen miles farther is S. Jean de Port, whence one can ride to Roncesvalles.

]

The whole of this Basque country is full of memorials of the Peninsular War, the events of which in this district are wonderfully well described in the novel of "The Subaltern." There are deep woods and glens which ran down with blood; green lanes (as at Irogne) which were scenes of desperate combats; tombs of English officers, as in the churchyard at Bidart and in the picturesque mayor's garden between Bidart and Biarritz, where a flat stone commemorating three English officers is to be seen under the old apple-trees, overlooking a wide expanse of country. The most dreadful slaughter was near the Negressa Station, where the two armies, having occupied the ridges on either side the lake, suffered frightful carnage. It might have been spared, but in both armies it was then unknown that Napoleon had abdicated, and that peace was proclaimed. Between S. Jean de Luz and the Behobia is a picturesque old château, which was taken by the English after an easy siege, the inhabitants having been forced to fly with such precipitation that everything was abandoned, even the mail-bags which they had just seized being left behind and the contents scattered about on the floor. The first letter the English officer in command picked up was directed to himself and from his own father! He took nothing from the house but a Spanish dictionary from the library, but returning that way three weeks afterwards, found it completely pillaged by the Spanish camp-followers.

The peasantry of the Basque country are most interesting to talk to, and it is strange that more should not have been said and written about them, as their conversation is more full of ancient proverbs and folk-lore than that of the inhabitants of any other part of France. I remember an old Basque woman saying that her language was not only the best, but far the oldest in the world--in fact, it was that which Adam and Eve spoke in Paradise!

Twice, while we were at Biarritz, I made excursions into Spain, crossing the Bidassoa close to the Isle of Pheasants with intense interest. In all the Spain I have seen since, there is nothing more utterly Spanish than the tiny walled town of Fontarabia, with its wooden balconies piled one above another, and its lookout over a blue estuary. Most striking also is Passages--a land-locked bay of the sea with a very narrow opening, which is passed on the way to S. Sebastian.

]

Our return journey to England in the late spring was very delightful. My mother, in entire enjoyment of her marvellously restored health, and delighting to drink in the full beauties of nature and antiquity, was in no hurry to return to the turmoil of English life. We lingered everywhere, making short half-day journeys, and spending quiet afternoons sketching in the grass-grown streets of half-deserted cities, or driving out in little carriages to grand old châteaux. Thus we first saw S. Emilion, that marvellous place, where the buildings are so mingled with the living rock, that you scarcely can tell where the work of man begins, and where each sculptured cornice glows in late spring with a glory of crimson valerian. In one of the quietest streets of Poitiers, before a cottage door, we bought an old inlaid table, which is one of the pleasantest memorials of our journey. At Amboise we stayed several days in a most primitive but charming hotel, the vision of my dear mother in which often comes back to me, sitting with her psalm-book in a low room with white-washed walls and brick floor, and with a latticed window looking out over the great river glistening in the sunset. My mother liked and admired Amboise[266] more than almost any of our thousand resting-places, and she delighted in the excursions to moated Chenonceaux and to Chambord, where we and Lea had tea and bilberry jam at a delightful little inn which then existed on the outskirts of the forest.

]

On the 27th of May we reached Holmhurst. One of those curious incidents which are inexplicable had occurred during our absence, and was narrated to us, on our return, by our servants, neighbours, and by Mrs. Hale, the wife of our Hastings doctor. During my mother's illness at Pau, two of our maids, Alice and Jane Lathom, slept, according to their custom, in one of the spare rooms to the front of the house. In the middle of the night they were both aroused by three piercing terrible screams in the room close to the bed. Petrified with horror, they hid under the bed-clothes, and lay thus more dead than alive till morning. With the first streak of dawn they crept down the passage to John Gidman's room, roused him, and told him what had happened. He felt it was certainly an omen that the death they expected had occurred; took the carriage and drove down at once to St. Leonards to Mrs. Hale. Dr. and Mrs. Hale were at breakfast when John Gidman arrived and sent in word that his mistress was dead. When they went out, they found he had received no letter, but had only an inward conviction of the event from what had happened.

It was the same hour at which my mother, waking from her second trance in her room at Pau, had uttered three long piercing screams in her wandering, and said, "Oh, I shall never, never see my dear Holmhurst again!"

There is no explanation to offer.

* * * * *

We had much enjoyment of our little Holmhurst this summer and a constant succession of guests. Amongst those who now came annually were Arthur Stanley and his wife Lady Augusta. To my mother, Augusta Stanley was always a very tender and dutiful niece, and to me a most kind cousin. She rejoiced to aid my mother in acting as a drag to Arthur's ever-increasing impression that the creed of progress and the creed of Christianity were identical. Many people thought that such an intense, almost universal warmth of manner as hers must be insincere, but with her it was perfectly natural. She took the sunshine of court favour, in which they both lived, quite simply, accepting it quietly, very glad that the Royal Family valued her, but never bringing it forward. She was indeed well worthy of the confidence which her royal mistress reposed in her, for though the Queen wrote to her daily, and though she generally came in to breakfast with several sheets in the large well-known handwriting, not one word from them ever transpired to her nearest relation or dearest friend.

What Lord Beaconsfield called "Arthur Stanley's picturesque sensibility" made him care more than Augusta about having royal (_i.e._ historic) friendships, though he had less personal feeling than she had for the illustrious persons who made them. He was, however, quite devoted to the Queen, to her own personality, and would certainly have been so had she been in any other position of life. The interests of Westminster made him very happy, and he rejoiced in the duty which fell upon him of preserving the Abbey as he received it, furious when it was suggested that some of the inferior and ugly monuments might be removed, or that the peculiar character of the choir (like a Spanish _coro_) might be altered. Always more a lover of moral than of doctrinal, or even spiritual Christianity, at this time he was beginning to be the victim of a passion for heretics which went on increasing afterwards. The Scotch were delighted with him: they thought he had an enthusiastic admiration for their Church. But he almost equally admired all schismatics from the Church to which he officially belonged, and was almost equally interested in them, and if he could get any one with ever so slight a taint of heresy to preach in the Abbey, it was a great delight to him: he thought it was setting an example of Christian liberality.

* * * * *

My sister left Rome with her aunt at the end of May (1865). At Pisa she took leave of her beloved Victoire, who remained at her own house. When she reached France, weakness prevented her intended visit to Paray le Monial, whence the nuns sent her the following rules for the employment of "The Holy Hour" in acts of reparation for insults offered to our Lord by the sins of men:--

{ Short acts.--"Lord, I believe, help
1. Unbelief { thou mine unbelief."
{ Faith.--"Lord, increase our faith," &c.
2. Ridicule, mockery. Secret prayers for the scoffers.
3. Irreverence.--Special reverence towards the Blessed Sacrament.
4. Rash judgments.--Acts of reparation to the Sacred Heart.
5. Unlawful opinion.--Silence upon things settled by authority.
6. Careless life.--Act of offering morning and night against
frivolous and immoderate words and actions.
7. Love of ease and pleasure.--Simple acts of mortification
and self-denial in the course of the day.

Esmeralda was detained for some time by serious illness at Dijon, with the strange symptoms which, three years later, attended her final illness, and which were then inexplicable to all around her. On her recovery, Madame de Trafford met her at Paris, and insisted that she should follow her to her château in Touraine. Hence Esmeralda wrote:--

"_Château de Beaujour, June 1865._--You will have heard from Auntie
of our arrival in this fairy château.... I have heard much that is
wonderful, but what is most striking is to watch the perfect
simplicity of a life so gifted as Madame de Trafford's--the three
virtues, Faith, Hope, and Charity, that faith which can move
mountains, and with it great humility. Madame de Trafford is deeply
interested in any details I give her of the last six years: she was
really attached to Mama. Here, in her château, she saw that Mama
was dying. She turned suddenly round to Mr. Trafford, who was here,
and said, 'Ah! elle va mourir--sortons.' She could not bear it, and
felt that she must go out into the open air.

"We shall be in London some time next week, with endless affairs to
settle. I quite dread the lawyers' deeds, days and weeks of worry,
never ending and still beginning.

"I think of you once more in your study, as if a new life were
given you, and dear Aunt Augustus in her arm-chair, and everything
bright and beautiful around you."

Of this, her first visit to Beaujour, Esmeralda has left a few remarkable notes.

"_July 1865._--Madame de Trafford came off to receive us at Paris
as soon as she heard we were on our way. Then, when she heard I was
so ill at Dijon, she often telegraphed there four times a day to
Auntie, to the master of the hotel, to every one, so that they
thought at Dijon that I was quite 'une grande personage.' At last,
when I was better, we went to Beaujour. Madame de Trafford sent to
meet us at Blois, but not her own horses, because they were _trop
vifs_. It was a long drive, though we went at a great pace, for
Madame de Trafford had told the coachman he was to drive as fast as
possible. At last, in the avenue of poplars, the ruts were so deep
that I thought we should have been overturned. Beaujour is a large
square house with wings to it. Madame de Trafford herself opened
the door, with a handkerchief over her head. 'Ah! vous voilà,' she
said, 'c'est bien; il y'a longtemps que je vous attends.'

"The lower part of the château is unfurnished and vast. This Madame
de Trafford considers to represent chaos, the chaos of nations. On
the upper floor, each room represents a nation. Where she considers
there is something wanting to the nation, there is some piece of
furniture wanting to the room. When she considers that a nation has
too much, the room is over-crowded. Thus in England, Canada,
Gibraltar, and Malta are _de trop_, but India she allows for.

"For us she had a whole suite of rooms newly furnished. I had a
bedroom, boudoir, dressing-room, and bath-room, and Auntie had the
same. They contained every possible luxury. My bed was the most
delicious I ever slept in. Madame de Trafford's power of
second-sight had enabled her to see exactly what I liked best.

"All morning we sat in Madame de Trafford's bedroom or mine, and in
the evening in the sitting-rooms. All day she talked of the future
of Europe. 'Je plane sur l'Europe,' she used to say; and, when she
was about to see anything--'Mon second être s'en va.'

"Madame de Trafford is frequently in conflict with the devil. At
such moments she is perfectly awful--quite sublime in her grandeur.
She will repeat _sotto voce_ what he says to her, suggestions of
pride, &c.,--and then, raising herself to her full height, in a
voice of thunder will bid defiance to the evil spirit. She spoke of
the many things in connection with herself which made people say
she was mad, and said she did not feel it safe to have people to
stay with her in consequence. I told her that this would be quite
impossible, for that even in the week which I had spent with her, I
had seen much which others never ought to have the opportunity of
seeing and misjudging. She often spoke most severely of my faults,
and said that I lived too much for myself. 'Prenez garde,' she
said, 'que vous ne passiez pas par cette petite porte, que j'ai vue
une fois.' This was the gate of hell. She saw it in a most awful
vision--the judged souls, 'qu'ils baissent leurs têtes et passent
par cette petite porte.'

"One day the Curé sent up word that the village procession was
coming to the gates of the château. On such an occasion an altar is
always expected to be prepared. There was a dreadful fuss and
hurry, but it had to be done. A foundation of barrels was covered
with coloured cloths, on this rose a higher platform, and on that
the altar. Workmen were immediately employed to dig up trees and
plant them around it, and Clémence was sent to the garden to dig up
all the lilies she could find. When the procession arrived, all was
ready and the people were delighted."

During this and succeeding visits at Beaujour, Madame de Trafford dictated many remarkable passages in her life to my sister. This she did walking up and down the room, often with her eyes flaming and her arms extended, as in a state of possession. At such times she would often break off her narration and suddenly begin addressing the spirit within her, which answered her in the strange voice, not her own, which sometimes came from her lips. Some of the stories she narrated at these times are of the wildest description, and are probably mere hallucinations, but a vein of truth runs through them all; and her complete biography, as I still preserve it, is a most curious document. Almost all her stories are tinged by her enthusiasm for the Bonaparte family, with whom she had some mysterious connection. They are mingled with strange visions and prophecies, many of which have undoubtedly come true, and her second-sight caused her to foresee, and in one case to prevent, an attack on the life of Napoleon III. She was constantly occupied in works of benevolence--in fact, her whole life was a contest between good and evil. "On joue sur moi," she said, "ce sont les bons et les mauvais esprits." Sometimes, when Esmeralda happened to go suddenly into the room, she would find Madame de Trafford, with livid face and glaring eyes, in horrible personal conflict with an evil spirit--"Prince de cette terre, adore donc ton Créateur et ton Dieu." In a late Life of Jeanne Darc, whose early existence amongst spiritual influences is much like that of Madame de Trafford, Catherine de l'Armagnac, the great friend of Jeanne, is described as resembling her, and the observation is made that this extraordinary power remains in the Armagnac family still. Madame de Trafford was _née_ Martine Larmignac (de l'Armagnac). But it was not only in Jeanne Darc that there was a similarity to the visions, the voices, the inspirations of Madame de Trafford: exactly the same appears in the histories of St. Bridget, St. Catherine of Siena, and Savonarola. The child-prophet Samuel also heard such voices calling to him.

In her "Life," Madame de Trafford says that she was brought up at Saumur, where spirits surrounded and talked to her in her childhood. When she was hungry, she believed that they brought her food. She was starved and ill-treated by her nominal mother, but her nominal father was kind to her. She always loved the poor, and they loved her. She once stole a loaf to give to a poor family. She was dressed in the richest child's frocks and lace till she was seven years old, then they were taken away and poor clothes were given to her. In her solitary life at Saumur she fancied that every one else like herself talked to spirits....

To escape from a marriage with a French Count, and, as she believed, in obedience to the spirits, Martine Larmignac went with the family of Sharpe as governess to England. Here she eventually became the second wife of Mr. Trafford of Wroxham Hall in Norfolk, but even then she never expected happiness in her life. She said that a spirit announced to her before her marriage, "Ton nom pour toi, ta fortune pour les autres, et _tu_ ne seras jamais heureuse." She had two children by Mr. Trafford. She foresaw the deaths of both by her second-sight, and had the agony of watching the fatal hour approaching even when they were well and strong.

During the Crimean war, Madame de Trafford went out to Constantinople with some Irish Sisters of Charity. She was with them during the earthquake which overwhelmed Broussa. At the moment when the Emperor Nicholas is supposed to have died, she alarmed those who were with her by starting up and in her fearful voice of prophecy exclaiming, "Nicholas! arrête toi! tu n'est pas mort: tu as disparu." She always maintained that the Emperor did not die at the time at which his death was announced as having taken place.

One day Madame de Trafford was sitting in her room at Paris, when the spirit told her she was to go--not where she was to go, or why, but simply that she was to set off. She caught up her bonnet and shawl and bade her maid Annette (for she had servants then) to follow her. She went out: she walked: she walked on till she arrived at the railway-station for going to Lyons (Chemin de Fer de Lyon). She still felt she was to go on, but she did not know whither, so she said to the guard that she must pay for her ticket when she left the train, for she could not tell where she should get out. She went on till the railway came to an end, and the railway in those days came to an end at Toulon. Then she got out and went to a hotel and ordered rooms for herself and her maid Annette, and dinner--for they were famished after the long journey. But still she felt restless: she was still convinced that she was not in the right place.

"J'avais arrêté un appartement pour une semaine, mais une voix me
dit, 'Pars,' et je savais qu'il y'avait du danger. Je fis appeler
la maîtresse de l'hôtel. Je lui dis, 'Je vous payerai tout ce que
vous voulez, mais je dois partir. Faites attendre dix minutes la
malle-poste pour Marseilles.' J'arrive à Marseilles fatiguée. Je me
repose sur un lit. Il faisait déjà nuit. J'appelais ma femme de
chambre et je lui dis, 'Je veux sortir.' Je sors. J'avance. Je
retourne. Ah, mon Dieu! qu'est ce que c'est? J'ai peur: je tremble:
je ne sais pourquoi. 'Annette, suivez-moi,' je dis. J'avance
encore. Je monte les rues étroites de Marseilles. J'arrête. Oh, mon
Dieu! qu'est que c'est que je vois--une _rue_! Je ne puis plus
avancer, mais qu'est que c'est cette rue? Je tourne: je monte la
rue en frémissant. 'Annette, suivez-moi.' J'arrête. Je vois une
maison--une fenêtre. La maison est fermée. C'est ici. Je mésure la
distance de cette maison à la maison vis-à-vis. Une, deux, trois,
quatre. La police me suivait. Ils soupçonnaient quelque chose, mais
je disais, 'Qu'est que c'est que cela--une maison, une fenêtre?' La
police entre dans la maison, dans cette fenêtre elle y trouva une
machine infernale. Napoleon était sauvé: il devait y passer le
lendemain."

From her extraordinary powers of second-sight, supernatural gifts were attributed by ignorant persons, and to her own great distress, to Madame de Trafford. The poor around her, both in Touraine and at Paris, often implored her to heal their sick, insisting that she could do so if she would, for she had the power.

"J'allais à la Madeleine un dimanche pour la messe. La fille de mon
cocher avait ête bien malade depuis longtemps. Je demandais à mon
cocher en descendant à l'église comment se portait sa fille. 'Elle
a demandé Madame de Trafford,' disait-il en pleurant, 'jusqu'à son
dernier moment.'--'Comment, Florimond,' lui dis-je, 'que voulez
vous dire?'--'Elle est morte,' disait il en sanglotant: 'elle est
morte hier à minuit.'--'Ah,' disais-je, et je descendais de la
voiture. 'Florimond, pourquoi ne m'avez-vous pas fait appeler?'
J'entrais à l'église, mais je ne pouvais rester tranquille. Je
sentais que je ne pouvais rester pour la messe, et je sortis. Je
remonte en voiture. 'Florimond, au grand trot,' lui dis-je, 'chez
vous.'--'Chez moi, Madame,' dit-il; 'ah, il est trop tard; ah, si
vous étiez venue plutôt, Madame, mais le pauvre enfant a déjà
changé,' et le pauvre homme pleurait; ah! combien il aimait cet
enfant. Nous arrivons. Je descends vite. Je monte. J'entre. J'ouvre
la porte. Déjà on avait placé un linceul sur le corps de la jeune
fille: on se preparait à l'ensevelir. La mère et la garde-malade
étaient dans la chambre. Je fis sortir la garde. J'approche le lit.
Je jette par terre chapeau et mantelle. Je lève le linceul. Ah! je
n'avais jamais vu un mort: je ne puis vous dire l'effêt que cela me
fit. Déjà depuis si peu d'heures! Il avait treize heures qu'elle
était morte, et les levres étaient serrées: tout le contour de la
bouche était décoloré. Je m'approchais. 'Seigneur,' dis-je, 'je ne
vous ai rien demandé jusqu'à ce jour: je vous demande aujourd'hui
la vie de cet enfant. Oh, Seigneur, c'est la fille unique, rendez
donc, je vous en supplie, rendez donc cette fille à sa mère.' Alors
une voix d'un mauvais esprit me dit, 'Tu peux rendre la vie: tu as
le pouvoir.' Mais je répondis, 'Moi, je ne puis rien, je ne suis
rien; mais, Seigneur, vous avez le pouvoir, vous seul pouvez tout;
rendez donc, je vous supplie, rendez donc cette fille à sa mère.'
Je passais la main sur la figure de l'enfant: je le prends par la
main. 'Lève-toi,' lui dis-je, et la jeune fille se levait en
sursaut! mais ses yeux étaient encore fermés, et tout doucement
elle dit ces paroles, 'Madame T.. r.. a.. fford.. je.. vais..
dormir.' Les couleurs revenaient tout doucement dans ses joues. Je
me retournais à la mère: 'Votre fille dormait,' dis-je. Je quittais
la maison. Je commandais qu'on lui donnait à manger. 'Florimond,'
dis-je à mon cocher, 'vous pouvez monter: votre fille n'est pas
morte--elle dort.' Je quittais Paris sur-le-champ."[267]

The generosity of Madame de Trafford knew no bounds. Once she went to Bourges. She arrived at the hotel and ordered dinner. The waiter said dinner could not be ready for an hour. She asked what she could do to occupy the hour. The man suggested that she could visit the cathedral. She said she had often seen the cathedral of Bourges: "what else?" The man suggested the convent of Ursuline nuns on the other side of the street. "Yes," she said, she was much interested in education, she was much interested in Ursuline nuns--she would go to them.

A nun showed her everything, and she expressed herself much pleased; but the nun looked very sad and melancholy, and at last Madame de Trafford asked her what made her look so miserable. "Oh," said the nun, "it is from a very peculiar circumstance, which you, as a stranger, could not enter into."--"Never mind," said Madame de Trafford, "tell me what it is?"--"Well," said the nun, "since you insist upon knowing, many convents were founded in the Middle Ages by persons who had very peculiar ideas about the end of the world. They believed that the world could not possibly endure beyond a certain number of years, and they founded their institutions with endowments to last for a time which they believed to be far beyond the possible age of the world. Now our convent was founded on that principle, and the time till which our convent was founded comes to an end to-morrow. To-morrow there are no Ursuline nuns of Bourges: to-morrow we have no convent--we cease to exist."--"Well," said Madame de Trafford, "but is there no other house you could have, where you could be re-established?"--"Oh, yes," said the nun, "there is another house to be had, a house on the other side of the street, which would do very well for a convent, but to establish us there would cost £3000. We are under vows of poverty, we have no money, so it is no use thinking about it."--"Well," said Madame de Trafford, "if you can have the house, it is a very fortunate circumstance that Mr. Trafford sent me a bill for £3000 this morning: there it is. You can have your convent." This story my sister had from the nuns of Bourges: it was her second-sight of the trouble overhanging them which had taken Madame de Trafford to Bourges.

Amongst the most extraordinary of the dictations of Madame de Trafford are those which state that she was really the person (accidentally walking and botanising on those mountains) who appeared out of a dense fog to the two children of La Salette, and whom they took for a vision of the Virgin.

People who have heard our histories of Madame de Trafford have often asked if I have ever seen her myself. I never did. The way in which I have been brought nearest to her was this. One day I had gone to visit Italima and Esmeralda at their little lodging in Chester Terrace, in the most terrible time of their great poverty. I was standing with my sister in the window, when she said, "Oh, how many people there are that I knew in the world who would give me five pounds if they knew _what_ it would be to me now. Oh, how many people there are that would do that, but they never think of it." Esmeralda thought no one was listening, but Italima, who was sitting on the other side of the room, and who was then in the depths of her terrible despair, caught what she was saying, and exclaimed, "Oh, Esmeralda, that is all over; no one will ever give you five pounds again as long as you live."

Three days after I went to see them again. While I was there, the postman's knock was heard at the door, and an odd-looking envelope was brought up, with a torn piece of paper inside it, such as Madame de Trafford wrote upon. On it were these words: "As I was sitting in my window in Beaujour this morning, I heard your voice, and your voice said, 'Oh, how many people there are that I knew in the world who would give me five pounds if they knew what it would be to me now! Oh, how many people there are that would do that, but they never think of it.' So I just slipped this five-pound note into an envelope, and here it is." And in the envelope was a five-pound note.

"J'étais là; telle chose m'advint." I was present on both these occasions. I was there when my sister spoke the words, and I was there when the letter came from Madame de Trafford sending the five-pound note, and repeating not only my sister's words, but the peculiar form of reduplication which she so constantly used, and which is so common in Italy when it is desired to make a thing emphatic.

Esmeralda spent the greater part of the summer at Mrs. Thorpe's, where I frequently visited her. She was soon deep in affairs of every kind, far too much for her feeble frame, as she added incessant religious work to her necessary legal worries. She would go anywhere or bear anything in order to bring over any one to the Roman Catholic Church, and was extraordinarily successful in winning converts. Her brother William had already, I think, been "received," and her little sister-in-law, Mrs. William Hare, was "received" about this time. Esmeralda's most notable success, however, had been in the case of Mr. and Mrs. T. G. When she was living in Sloane Street, she heard accidentally that Mrs. G. was wavering in her religious opinions. Esmeralda did not know her, but she drove immediately to her house at ten o'clock in the morning, and by four o'clock that afternoon not only Mrs. G., but her husband, had been received into the Roman Catholic Church.

Still, Esmeralda never believed that all those who were without the pale of her own Church would be lost. She felt certain of the salvation of every soul that had died in union with God by the indwelling of the Holy Ghost.

Amongst the persons whom I frequently saw when staying with my sister were the singular figures, in quaint dress with silver ornaments, with long hair, and ever booted and spurred as cavaliers, who were known as the Sobieski Stuarts. Their real names were John Hay Allan and Charles Stuart Allan, but my sister recognised them by the names they gave themselves--John Sobieski Stolberg Stuart and Charles Edward Stuart. I believe that they had themselves an unfailing belief in their royal blood. Their father was said to be the son of Charles Edward Stuart and Louise of Stolberg, Countess of Albany, born at Leghorn in 1773. Fear of "the King of Hanover" was described as the reason for intrusting him as a baby to Admiral Allan, whose frigate was off the coast. Allan brought up the boy as his own, and he lived to marry an English lady and leave the two sons I have mentioned. The elder brother died in 1872, and the younger on board a steamer off Bordeaux on Christmas Eve, 1880.

Upon her return to England, Esmeralda found in completion the beautiful monument which she had caused to be erected to her mother in the Catholic Cemetery at Kensal Green. It represents "Our Lady of Sorrows"--a figure of life-size, seated under a tall marble cross, from which the crown of thorns is hanging.

From Esmeralda's private meditations of this summer I extract:--

"_July 15, 1865._--Ask for the gift to sorrow only for our Blessed
Lord's sake, that truly we may share the divine sorrow of His
Blessed Mother, and mingle our tears with hers on Calvary at the
foot of the cross."

"_August 20, 1865._--Ask for the grace of filial love. Strive to
overcome all evil inclinations that are an impediment to filial
love, amongst which one of the chief is self-conceit. Make acts of
reparation for all the selfconceit of past life. When thoughts of
self-conceit enter, let us shut the gates of our hearts against
them, and make an act of profound humility and sorrow, seeing our
own nothingness and baseness. We must seek for filial love by
laying aside all confidence in self, and placing all our confidence
in God alone; for all that proceeds from ourselves is corrupt, and
our best actions have no merit unless performed solely for God's
greater glory, without regard to ourselves."

"_August 27, 1865._--Lay at the foot of the cross all secret doubts
of God's guidance. It is this secret instinct which is one of the
great hindrances to the reign of Jesus in our souls. Let us make an
act of the will--'Lord, I believe that Thou lovest to make the
souls of men Thy tabernacle; help Thou mine unbelief. I believe
that Thou lovest me, in spite of my unworthiness and infidelity. I
am blind and poor and naked; I have nothing of myself to offer Thee
but what is corrupt and evil, but Thou hast given me by inheritance
all the poverty and humility of Thy Blessed Mother, all her
sorrows,--and these I offer Thee--Thy gift I give back to Thee. O
my Lord, let me learn to know Thee more and more.'"

END OF VOL. II.

_Printed by_ BALLANTYNE, HANSON & CO.

_Edinburgh and London_

THE STORY OF MY LIFE

VOL. III

From a portrait by Swinton.]

THE STORY OF

MY LIFE

BY

AUGUSTUS J. C. HARE

AUTHOR OF "MEMORIALS OF A QUIET LIFE,"

"THE STORY OF TWO NOBLE LIVES,"

ETC. ETC.

VOLUME III

LONDON GEORGE ALLEN, 156, CHARING CROSS ROAD

1896

[_All rights reserved_]

_Printed by_ BALLANTYNE, HANSON & CO.

_At the Ballantyne Press_

CONTENTS

PAGE

ENGLISH PLEASURES AND ROMAN TRIALS 1
LAST YEARS OF ESMERALDA 233
THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CONSPIRACY 273
LAST YEARS WITH THE MOTHER 314
INDEX TO VOLS. I., II. AND III. 421

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

VOL. III

ANNE F. M. L. HARE. _From Swinton._ (_Photogravure_) _Frontispiece_

PAGE
THE CORONATION CHAIR, WESTMINSTER 4
BAMBOROUGH CASTLE 9
THE SUNDIAL GARDEN, FORD 12
THE FOUNTAIN, FORD 13
FORD CASTLE, THE TERRACE 28
ELIZABETH, LADY STUART DE ROTHESAY. _From a miniature_
_by Miss A. Dixon._ (_Photogravure_) _To face_ 32
THE PASS OF BRACCO 52
AT PORTO VENERE 53
LA SPINA, PISA 62
CONTADINA, VALLEY OF THE SACCO 99
THE BRIDGE OF AUGUSTUS, NARNI 101
THE MEDIÆVAL BRIDGE, NARNI 102
VIEW FROM THE BOBOLI GARDENS, FLORENCE 104
HOLMHURST, FROM THE GARDEN 108
LADY AUGUSTA STANLEY. (_Photogravure_) _To face_ 110
ALTON BARNES CHURCH 111
BODRYDDAN 124
S. REMY 137
FROM MAISON S. FRANÇOIS, CANNES 138
BOCCA WOOD, CANNES 140
MAISON S. FRANÇOIS, CANNES 141
MARIA HARE. (_Line engraving_) _To face_ 142
CAGNES 145
ANTIBES 147
LE PUY 150
ROYAT 151
IN THE DEAN'S GARDEN, CANTERBURY 156
ARTHUR PENRHYN STANLEY, DEAN OF WESTMINSTER. (_Photogravure_)
_To face_ 158
COURTYARD, DEANERY, WESTMINSTER 160
PALACE GARDEN, PETERBOROUGH 163
FONTAINES 184
ARC DE S. CESAIRE, ALISCAMPS, ARLES 185
AT SAVONA 186
SESTRI 189
CASTLE OF ESTE 227
PETRARCH'S TOMB, ARQUA 230
TOMB OF THE COUNT OF CASTELBARCO, VERONA 231
ESMERALDA'S GRAVE 271
MARY STANLEY. (_Photogravure_) _To face_ 282
JOIGNY 316
PORTE D'ARROUX, AUTUN 321
FORD CASTLE, THE LIBRARY 325
BAR-LE-DUC 334
BRIDGE OF BAR-LE-DUC 335
MANTUA 337
VICENZA 339
VICENZA FROM MONTE BERICO 340
THE PRATO DELLA VALLE, PADUA 341
SIENA 342
S. GEMIGNANO 343
THE HÔTEL DE LONDRES DURING THE FLOOD 349
S. ANTONIO, PISA, DURING THE FLOOD 355
VIEW FROM THE VIA GREGORIANA 361
NEMI 369
TIVOLI 371
BRACCIANO 375
GRAVE OF AUGUSTUS W. HARE, ROME 377
FROM THE LOGGIA DEI LANZI 379
PIAZZA S. DOMENICO, BOLOGNA 381
CLUNY 384
CLOISTER OF FONTENAY 385
ST. MARTIN'S, CANTERBURY 394
HENRY ALFORD, DEAN OF CANTERBURY. (_Photogravure_)
_To face_ 394
THE CHURCH LANE, HURSTMONCEAUX 410