Chapter IV: Part 4

MISS GILPIN (_wonderingly_). Sleep? (_Then hurriedly._) It's too bad. I wish I'd known you were here sooner. I wanted very much to talk to you before you saw Eileen. You see, I knew you'd pay us a visit some time. (_With a worried smile._) I still think I ought to have a talk with you.

MURRAY. Certainly, Miss Gilpin.

MISS GILPIN (_takes a chair and places it near the hall door_). Sit down. She can't hear us here. Goodness knows this is hardly the place for confidences, but there are visitors all over and it'll have to do. Did you close the door tightly? She mustn't hear me above all. (_She goes to the porch door and peeps out for a moment; then comes back to him with flashing eyes._) She's crying! What have you been saying to her? Oh, it's too late, I know! The fools shouldn't have permitted you to see her before I---- What has happened out there? Tell me! I must know.

MURRAY (_stammering_). Happened? Nothing. She's crying? Why, Miss Gilpin--you know I wouldn't hurt her for worlds.

MISS GILPIN (_more calmly_). Intentionally. I know you wouldn't. But something has happened. (_Then briskly._) We're talking at cross purposes. Since you don't seem inclined to confide in me, I'll have to in you. You noticed how badly she looks, didn't you?

MURRAY. Yes, I did.

MISS GILPIN (_gravely_). She's been going down hill steadily--(_meaningly_)--ever since you left. She's in a very serious state, let me impress you with that. We've all loved her, and felt so sorry for her and admired her spirit so--that's the only reason she's been allowed to stay here so long after her time. We've kept hoping she'd start to pick up--in another day--in another week. But now that's all over. Doctor Stanton has given up hope of her improving here, and her father is unwilling to pay for her elsewhere now he knows there's a cheaper place--the State Farm. So she's to be sent there in a day or so.

MURRAY (_springing to his feet--horrified_). To the State Farm!

MISS GILPIN. Her time here is long past. You know the rule--and she isn't getting better.

MURRAY (_appalled_). That means----!

MISS GILPIN (_forcibly_). Death! That's what it means for her!

MURRAY (_stunned_). Good God, I never dreamed----

MISS GILPIN. With others it might be different. They might improve under changed surroundings. In her case, it's certain. She'll die. And it wouldn't do any good to keep her here, either. She'd die here. She'll die anywhere. She'll die because lately she's given up hope, she hasn't wanted to live any more. She's let herself go--and now it's too late.

MURRAY. Too late? You mean there's no chance--now? (Miss Gilpin _nods._ Murray _is overwhelmed--after a pause--stammering._) Isn't there--anything--we can do?

MISS GILPIN (_sadly_). I don't know. I should have talked to you before you---- You see, she's seen you now. She knows. (_As he looks mystified she continues slowly._) I suppose you know that Eileen loves you, don't you?

MURRAY (_as if defending himself against an accusation--with confused alarm_). No--Miss Gilpin. You're wrong, honestly. She may have felt something like that--once--but that was long ago before I left the San. She's forgotten all about it since, I know she has. (Miss Gilpin _smiles bitterly._) Why, she never even alluded to it in any of her letters--all these months.

MISS GILPIN. Did you in yours?

MURRAY. No, of course not. You don't understand. Why--just now--she said that part of it had all been so silly she felt she'd acted like a fool and didn't ever want to be reminded of it.

MISS GILPIN. She saw that you didn't love her--any more than you did in the days before you left. Oh, I used to watch you then. I sensed what was going on between you. I would have stopped it then out of pity for her, if I could have, if I didn't know that any interference would only make matters worse. And then I thought that it might be only a surface affair--that after you were gone it would end for her. (_She sighs--then after a pause._) You'll have to forgive me for speaking to you so boldly on a delicate subject. But, don't you see, it's for her sake. I love Eileen. We all do. (_Averting her eyes from his--in a low voice._) I know how Eileen feels, Mr. Murray. Once--a long time ago--I suffered as she is suffering--from this same mistake. But I had resources to fall back upon that Eileen hasn't got--a family who loved me and understood--friends--so I pulled through. But it spoiled my life for a long time. (_Looking at him again and forcing a smile._) So I feel that perhaps I have a right to speak for Eileen who has no one else.

MURRAY (_huskily--much moved_). Say anything to me you like, Miss Gilpin.

MISS GILPIN (_after a pause--sadly_). You don't love her--do you?

MURRAY. No--I--I don't believe I've ever thought much of loving anyone--that way.

MISS GILPIN (_sadly_). Oh, it's too late, I'm afraid. If we had only had this talk before you had seen her! I meant to talk to you frankly and if I found out you didn't love Eileen--there was always the forlorn hope that you might--I was going to tell you not to see her, for her sake--not to let her face the truth. For I am sure she continued to hope in spite of everything, and always would--to the end--if she didn't see you. I was going to implore you to stay away, to write her letters that would encourage her hope, and in that way she would never learn the truth. I thought of writing you all this--but--it's so delicate a matter--I didn't have the courage. (_With intense grief._) And now Doctor Stanton's decision to send her away makes everything doubly hard. When she knows _that_--she will throw everything that holds her to life--out of the window! And think of it--her dying there alone!

MURRAY (_very pale_). Don't! That shan't happen. I can at least save her from that. I have money enough--I'll make more--to send her to any place you think----

MISS GILPIN. That is something--but it doesn't touch the source of her unhappiness. If there were only some way to make her happy in the little time that is left to her! She has suffered so much through you. Oh, Mr. Murray, can't you tell her you love her?

MURRAY (_after a pause--slowly_). But she'll never believe me, I'm afraid, now.

MISS GILPIN (_eagerly_). But you must make her believe! And you must ask her to marry you. If you're engaged it will give you the right in her eyes to take her away. You can take her to some private San. There's a small place, but a very good one, at White Lake. It's not too expensive, and it's a beautiful spot, out of the world, and you can live and work near by. And she'll be happy to the very last. Don't you think that's something--the best you have--the best you can give in return for her love for you?

MURRAY (_slowly--deeply moved_). Yes. (_Then determinedly._) But I won't go into this thing by halves. It isn't fair to her. I'm going to marry her--yes, I mean it. I owe her that if it will make her happy. But to ask her without really meaning it--knowing she--no, I can't do that.

MISS GILPIN (_with a sad smile_). I'm glad you feel that way. It shouldn't be hard now for you to convince her. But I know Eileen. She will never consent--for your sake--until she is well again. And stop and think, Mr. Murray. Even if she did consent to marry you right now the shock--the excitement--it would be suicide for her. I would have to warn her against it myself; and you wouldn't propose it if you knew the danger to her in her present condition. She hasn't long to live, at best. I've talked with Dr. Stanton. I know. God knows I would be the first one to hold out hope if there was any. There isn't. It's merely a case of prolonging the short time left to her and making it happy. You must bear that in mind--as a fact!

MURRAY (_dully_). All right. I'll remember. But it's hell to realise---- (_He turns suddenly towards the porch door._) I'll go out to her now while I feel--that--yes, I know I can make her believe me now.

MISS GILPIN. You'll tell me--later on?

MURRAY. Yes. (_He opens the door to the porch and goes out._ Miss Gilpin _stands for a moment looking after him worriedly. Then she sighs helplessly and goes out to the hall._ Murray _steps noiselessly out on the porch._ Eileen _is lying motionless with her eyes closed._ Murray _stands looking at her, his face showing the emotional stress he is under, a great pitying tenderness in his eyes. Then he seems to come to a revealing decision on what is best to do for he tiptoes to the bedside and bending down with a quick movement, takes her in his arms and kisses her._) Eileen!

EILEEN (_startled at first, resists automatically for a moment_). Stephen! (_Then she succumbs and lies back in his arms with a happy sigh, putting both hands to the sides of his face and staring up at him adoringly._) Stephen, dear!

MURRAY (_quickly questioning her before she can question him_). You were fibbing--about that night--weren't you? You do love me, don't you, Eileen?

EILEEN (_breathlessly_). Yes--I--but you, Stephen--you don't love me. (_She makes a movement as if to escape from his embrace._)

MURRAY (_genuinely moved--with tender reassurance_). Why do you suppose I came up here if not to tell you I did? But they warned me--Miss Gilpin--that you were still weak and that I mustn't excite you in any way. And I--I didn't want--but I had to come back and tell you in spite of them.

EILEEN (_convinced--with a happy laugh_). And is that why you acted so strange--and cold? Aren't they silly to tell you that! As if being happy could hurt me! Why, it's just that, just you I've needed!

MURRAY (_his voice trembling_). And you'll marry me, Eileen?

EILEEN (_a shadow of doubt crossing her face momentarily_). Are you sure--you want me, Stephen?

MURRAY (_a lump in his throat--huskily_). Yes. I do want you, Eileen.

EILEEN (_happily_). Then I will--after I'm well again, of course. (_She kisses him._)

MURRAY (_chokingly_). That won't be long now, Eileen.

EILEEN (_joyously_). No--not long--now that I'm happy for once in my life. I'll surprise you, Stephen, the way I'll pick up and grow fat and healthy. You won't know me in a month. How can you ever love such a skinny homely thing as I am now! (_With a laugh._) I couldn't if I was a man--love such a fright.

MURRAY. Sssh!

EILEEN (_confidently_). But you'll see now. I'll make myself get well. We won't have to wait long, dear. And can't you move up to the town near here where you can see me every day, and you can work and I can help you with your stories just as I used to--and I'll soon be strong enough to do your typing again. (_She laughs._) Listen to me--talking about helping you--as if they weren't all your own work, those blessed stories!--as if I had anything to do with it!

MURRAY (_hoarsely_). You had! You did! They're yours. (_Trying to calm himself._) But you mustn't stay here, Eileen. You'll let me take you away, won't you?--to a better place--not far away--White Lake, it's called. There's a small private sanatorium there. Doctor Stanton says it's one of the best. And I'll live near by--it's a beautiful spot--and see you every day.

EILEEN (_in the seventh heaven_). And did you plan out all this for me beforehand, Stephen? (_He nods with averted eyes. She kisses his hair._) You wonderful, kind dear! And it's a small place--this White Lake? Then we won't have so many people around to disturb us, will we? We'll be all to ourselves. And you ought to work so well up there. I know New York wasn't good for you--alone--without me. And I'll get well and strong so quick! And you say it's a beautiful place? (_Intensely._) Oh, Stephen, any place in the world would be beautiful to me--if you were with me! (_His face is hidden in the pillow beside her. She is suddenly startled by a muffled sob--anxiously._) Why--Stephen--you're--you're crying! (_The tears start to her own eyes._)

MURRAY _(raising his face which is this time alight with a passionate awakening--a revelation_). Oh, I do love you, Eileen. I do! I love you, love you!

EILEEN (_thrilled by the depth of his present sincerity--but with a teasing laugh_). Why, you say that as if you'd just made the discovery, Stephen!

MURRAY. Oh, what does it matter, Eileen! I love you! Oh, what a blind, selfish ass I've been! I love you! You are my life--everything! I love you, Eileen! I do! I do! And we'll be married----

(_Suddenly his face grows frozen with horror as he remembers the
doom. For the first time the grey spectre of Death confronts him
face to face as a menacing reality._)

EILEEN (_terrified by the look in his eyes_). What is it, Stephen? What----?

MURRAY (_with a groan--protesting half-aloud in a strangled voice_). No! No! It can't be----! My God! (_He clutches her hands and hides his face in them._)

EILEEN (_with a cry_). Stephen! What is the matter? (_Her face suddenly betrays apprehension, an intuitive sense of the truth._) Oh--Stephen---- (_Then with a childish whimper of terror._) Oh, Stephen, I'm going to die! I'm going to die!

MURRAY (_lifting his tortured face--wildly_). No!

EILEEN (_her voice sinking to a dead, whisper_). I'm going to die.

MURRAY (_seizing her in his arms in a passionate frenzy and pressing his lips to hers_). No, Eileen, no, my love, no! What are you saying? What could have made you think it? You--die? Why, of course, we're all going to die--but--Good God! What damned nonsense! You're getting well--every day. Everyone--Miss Gilpin--Stanton--everyone told me that. I swear before God, Eileen, they did! You're still weak, that's all. They said--it won't be long. You mustn't think that--not now.

EILEEN (_miserably--unconvinced_). But why did you look at me--that way--with that awful look in your eyes----?

(_While she is speaking_ Miss Gilpin _enters the room from the
corridor. She appears worried, agitated. She hurries towards the
porch, but stops inside the doorway, arrested by_ Murray's
_voice._)

MURRAY (_takes_ Eileen _by the shoulders and forces her to look into his eyes_). I wasn't thinking about you then---- No, Eileen--not you. I didn't mean you--but me--yes, me! I couldn't tell you before. They'd warned me--not to excite you--and I knew that would--if you loved me.

EILEEN (_staring at him with frightened amazement_). You mean you--you're sick again?

MURRAY (_desperately striving to convince her_). Yes. I saw Stanton. I lied to you before--about that. It's come back on me, Eileen--you see how I look--I've let myself go. I don't know how to live without you, don't you see? And you'll--marry me now--without waiting--and help me to get well--you and I together--and not mind their lies--what they say to prevent you? You'll do that, Eileen?

EILEEN. I'll do anything for you---- And I'd be so happy---- (_She breaks down._) But, Stephen, I'm so afraid. I'm all mixed up. Oh, Stephen, I don't know what to believe!

MISS GILPIN (_who has been listening thunderstruck to_ Murray's _wild pleading, at last summons up the determination to interfere--steps out on the porch--a tone of severe remonstrance_). Mr. Murray!

MURRAY (_starts to his feet with wild, bewildered eyes--confusedly_). Oh--you---- (Miss Gilpin _cannot restrain an exclamation of dismay as she sees his face wrung by despair._ Eileen _turns her head away with a little cry, as if she would hide her face in the bedclothes. A sudden fierce resolution lights up_ Murray's _countenance--hoarsely._) You're just in the nick of time, Miss Gilpin! Eileen! Listen! You'll believe Miss Gilpin, won't you? She knows all about it. (Eileen _turns her eyes questioningly on the bewildered nurse._)

MISS GILPIN. What----?

MURRAY (_determinedly_). Miss Gilpin, Doctor Stanton has spoken to you since he examined me. He must have told you the truth about me. Eileen doesn't believe me--when I tell her I've got T.B. again. She thinks--I don't know what. I know you're not supposed to, but can't you make an exception--in this case? Can't you tell Eileen the truth?

MISS GILPIN (_stunned by being thus defiantly confronted--stammeringly_). Mr. Murray! I--I--how can you ask----

MURRAY (_quickly_). Eileen has a right to know. She loves me--and I--I--love her! (_He holds her eyes and speaks with a passion of sincerity that compels belief._) I love her, do you hear?

MISS GILPIN (_falteringly_). You--love--Eileen?

MURRAY. Yes! I do! (_Entreatingly._) So--tell her--won't you?

MISS GILPIN (_swallowing hard, her eyes full of pity and sorrow fixed on_ Eileen). Yes--Eileen--it's true. (_She turns away slowly towards the door._)

EILEEN (_with a little cry of alarmed concern, stretches out her hands to_ Murray _protectingly_). Poor Stephen--dear! (_He grasps her hands and kisses them._)

MISS GILPIN (_in a low voice_). Mr. Murray. May I speak to you for a moment?

MURRAY (_with a look of questioning defiance at her_). Certainly.

MISS GILPIN (_turns to_ Eileen _with a forced smile_). I won't steal him away for more than a moment, Eileen. (Eileen _smiles happily._)

MURRAY (_follows_ Miss Gilpin _into the room. She leads him to the far end of the room near the door to the hall, after shutting the porch door carefully behind him. He looks at her defiantly_). Well?

MISS GILPIN (_in low agitated tones_). What has happened? What is the meaning--I feel as if I may have done a great wrong to myself--to you--to her--by that lie. And yet--something impelled me.

MURRAY (_moved_). Don't regret it, Miss Gilpin! It has saved her--us. Oh, how can I explain what happened? I suddenly saw--how beautiful and sweet and good she is--how I couldn't bear the thought of life without her--her love---- That's all. (_Determinedly._) She must marry me at once and I will take her away--the far West--any place Stanton thinks can help. And she can take care of me--as she thinks--and I know she will grow well as I seem to grow well. Oh Miss Gilpin, don't you see? No half and half measures--no promises--no conditional engagements--can help us--help her. We love too much! (_Fiercely, as if defying her._) But we'll win together. We can! We must! There are things your doctors cannot value--cannot know the strength of! (_Exultantly._) You'll see! I'll make Eileen get well, I tell you! Happiness will cure! Love is stronger than---- (_He suddenly breaks down before the pitying negation she cannot keep from her eyes. He sinks on a chair, shoulders bowed, face hidden in his hands, with a groan of despair._) Oh, why did you give me a hopeless hope?

MISS GILPIN (_putting her hand on his shoulder--with tender compassion--sadly_). Isn't everything we know--just that--when you think of it? (_Her face lighting up with a consoling revelation._) But there must be something behind it--some promise of fulfilment,--somehow--somewhere--in the spirit of hope itself.

MURRAY (_dully_). Yes--but what do words mean to me now? (_Then suddenly starting to his feet and flinging off her hand with disdainful strength--violently and almost insultingly._) What damned rot! I tell you we'll win! We must! Oh, I'm a fool to waste words on you! What can you know? Love isn't in the materia medica. Your predictions--all the verdicts of all the doctors--what do they matter to me? This is--beyond you! And we'll win in spite of you! (_Scornfully._) How dare you use the word hopeless--as if it were the last! Come now, confess, damn it! There's always hope, isn't there? What do you _know_? Can you say you _know_ anything?

MISS GILPIN (_taken aback by his violence for a moment, finally bursts into a laugh of helplessness which is close to tears_). I? I know nothing--absolutely nothing! God bless you both!

(_She raises her handkerchief to her eyes and hurries out to the
corridor without turning her head._ Murray _stands looking after
her for a moment; then strides out to the porch._)

EILEEN (_turning and greeting him with a shy smile of happiness as he comes and kneels by her bedside_). Stephen! (_He kisses her. She strokes his hair and continues in a tone of motherly, self-forgetting solicitude._) I'll have to look out for you, Stephen, won't I? From now on? And see that you rest so many hours a day--and drink your milk when I drink mine--and go to bed at nine sharp when I do--and obey everything I tell you--and----

THE CURTAIN FALLS