Chapter III: Part 3

On the appointed day the General set off for the dance with a number of the Teenie Weenies, and as they drew near the village they were met by a body of wild men who had been sent out as a guard of honor to escort the General into the village. He was led to a spot beneath a big bush where the Queen sat cross-legged on a wonderfully soft piece of cloth which had been thrown on the ground. Over her head hung another cloth which was fastened at the four corners to long poles held in the hands of four wild men.

A great many wild men and women stood about an open spot under the bush, which had been swept until it was as clean as a pin. Many children ran about the place, some of them climbing onto the grass houses and into the trees. On the edge of the crowd stood several small animals, and some birds were perched in the bush overhead.

The General made a low bow to the Queen and when she motioned for him to sit by her side, he sat down on the soft cloth. The Queen and the General talked for some time through the Poet, who translated for them.

Presently the Queen gave a command to one of her warriors and instantly several men, who were sitting on the ground in front of the Queen, began to beat on drums. The drums were made out of a piece of hollow reed. The ends were covered with snake skin and they made a very pretty, mellow sound. Another man beat on a piece of wood which had been fixed to a split reed, while three or four women beat paddles together in time with the music.

Instantly a number of voices broke into a loud song from behind a house near by and presently the dancers came hopping and prancing into the cleared spot before the Queen. First came a warrior with a long spear and when he danced directly in front of the Queen he broke the spear in two over his knee. Next came a man with a queer seed pod over his head and in one hand he carried a whip with which he struck the warrior every now and then. In the other hand he carried a dried seed pod which rattled loudly in time with the song. The next dancer wore a frog’s head and hopped in time with the music, much after the fashion of a frog. Several girls followed the frog man, carrying plates of smoked frog ham and rice cakes.

“The first man in the dance,” explained the Poet to the General, “is the Spirit of War. He broke the spear to show you that the war was over and the next man rattled the seed pod and struck him with the whip to scare him away, which means that the wild men are through with war and wish to get rid of the War Spirit. The frog man represents the frog meat which the wild men eat, and his funny dance means that good times are coming, for you see the pretty girls follow with plates of rice cakes and meat.”

The dancers performed for several minutes and then the man with the whip and rattle chased the Spirit of War over the hill out of sight, which meant that the Spirit of War was gone for good.

After the dance a great fire was built and when a heap of hot ashes had burned, the wild men wrapped several frog hams in sassafras leaves and put them into the hot bed of ashes to roast. When the hams were cooked they were cut into slices and served to the Teenie Weenies and the wild men. Wonderfully delicious rice cakes were also served and the Teenie Weenies ate until they were quite filled. The greedy Dunce ate so much he became quite ill and had to be carried back to the Teenie Weenie camp, where the Doctor was kept busy most of the night putting heated buttons on his aching tummy, until the pain was gone.

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Chapter Twenty-Six

HOME

Put a bean on to boil, Mr. Cook!
Put a bean on to boil, Mr. Cook!
For an army, it must eat
And rest its weary feet;
So put on a bean, Mr. Cook!

The Teenie Weenie soldiers sang this song as they sat about their tiny camp fire one evening shortly after the peace dance. They were all happy, for they were to start for home in the morning. The Sailor was now well enough to stand the long trip and that was all that had been holding them back.

“He can stand the trip,” the Doctor said, “if he is carried in some way that will not jolt him. He was badly wounded and I wouldn’t care to have him ride in one of the army wagons, as they are much too rough.”

“We can make a litter and get two mice to carry it,” suggested Tess Bone.

“That’s a good idea,” said the Doctor. “He will rest that way in fine shape.”

The Turk and the Old Soldier agreed to make the litter and in a short time they had built such a cozy one the Sailor was quite pleased with it.

“Crickety!” exclaimed the Dunce when he saw the litter, “I wish I was wounded so I could ride in that instead of walkin’ all the way home.”

The army wagons were loaded and early in the morning the little army began the long journey home. First the cannon and then the baggage and wagons had to be moved across the river on the raft. It took the little people all day to move across the river, for many trips had to be made with the clumsy raft. But at the end of the day not a single Teenie Weenie was left on Sabo Island.

As Queen Mooie had given the Teenie Weenies so many presents of frog hams, rice cakes, delicious seeds and many hickory nut meats, the little people were well supplied with good food. Every evening after the day’s march the happy little army ate their meal gathered around a glowing camp fire. They laughed and joked, sang songs, told stories and gossiped with the many birds and animals of the woods who gathered about the camp fire.

Often the Teenie Weenies listened to a strange tale of the forest, told by some owl or chipmunk, and quite often the birds sang to them.

One evening a wicked old weasel came prowling around the camp. The little folks were quite alarmed about it, for the old fellow hung around for a long time. They could see his wicked green eyes shining in the light from the camp fire and when the General asked him what he wanted, he never answered. At last the General told several of the soldiers to fire off their rifles.

“Shoot in the air over his head and give him a good scare,” ordered the General. “I think that will fix him.”

At the first sound of the guns the weasel quickly disappeared into the night and nothing more was seen of him, although the men kept a mighty close watch for several days.

When the army came to the place where they had built the bridge, they found the squirrel whom they had hired to guard it, on duty.

“Well, here I am,” shouted the squirrel. “And here is the bridge just as you left it.”

“You have done your duty well,” said the General, and he ordered the Cook to pay the squirrel the ten sunflower seeds and the hickory nuts which had been promised him.

“Well, I always believe in doin’ my duty,” said the squirrel. “If I agree to do a thing I always stick to my word—I’d rather lose every whisker I’ve got than go back on my word.”

A bluejay who was sitting in a bush near by snickered and the squirrel gave him a nasty look. The Teenie Weenies thought for a minute that there might be a quarrel, but the bluejay flew off, so they felt much easier.

After a pleasant talk with the squirrel, the General ordered the army to march on and as long as the Teenie Weenies were in sight the squirrel waved to them from the top of an old stump.

The trip seemed to agree with the Sailor. He grew stronger and stronger under the watchful eye of the Doctor and the two dainty nurses. He was fed on broth and a tiny bit of poached bird’s egg each day, and as the army drew near home he was almost strong enough to walk.

One day the Teenie Weenies were surprised to hear a bird shout to them from a bush over their heads and when they looked up they saw it was Tilly Titter, the English Sparrow—an old and trusted friend.

Of course the General ordered a halt, while the men gathered around the sparrow and asked many questions.

“How are the twins?” asked Mr. Lover.

“Fine! Just fine!” cried the bird. “I was over to the village yesterday and they were playin’ foot ball with a gooseberry. They are as husky as a caterpillar in a mulberry bush. Your wife is as fat as butter; I’ll bet she has gained half an ounce since you left her.”

After the Teenie Weenies had learned all the news from home the General gave a message to Tilly and asked her to deliver it to the Teenie Weenie village.

“You can just bet your last fish worm I’ll carry that message as quick as I can,” said the bird. “Everyone in the village will be tickled to death to hear that you are so near home. Grandpa will be so ’appy ’e’ll shout ’imself ’oarse.”

Spreading her wings, Tilly Titter flew into the air and quickly disappeared in the direction of the Teenie Weenie village.

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Chapter Twenty-seven

THE GRAND REVIEW

Tilly Titter flew as she never flew before and in a short time she landed on the ground beside the shoe house, her feathers all ruffled up with excitement.

“I’ve got news,” she shouted, as the little women gathered about her. “I’ve just come from the General and the army will be home in about three days.”

“Is my husband well?” shouted Mrs. Lover.

“He’s as healthy as a dandelion and as pink as a rose bud,” answered Tilly.

“How’s the Poet and the Lady of Fashion?” asked Grandpa.

“Well and ’appy,” cried Tilly. “As I was a sayin’, the army will be ’ome in about three days. The General said to tell you that they would arrive on Friday afternoon if everthing goes well. He says for you to have a good supper ready for the boys and to have plenty, for they will be as hungry as young robins.”

“Is the Sailor getting along nicely?” asked Miss Guff.

“Fine as a fiddle! Fine as a fiddle!” answered the sparrow. “Wants to walk, ’e’s feelin’ so well, but the Doctor makes ’im stay in the litter and ride.”

“Well, we have got to get busy and do somethin’ for the boys,” cried Grandpa. “We’ve got to give ’em a big feed and decorate the place with flags and show ’em we’re glad to see ’em.”

“We’ll get up a grand supper for them,” cried Mrs. Lover, “and we’ll have a dance afterwards.”

“I’ll bring over a big chunk of cheese,” cried the mouse that had joined the crowd.

“I’ll get some fat worms for the supper,” cried Tilly, and instantly she blushed a deep brown. “Oh, I forget you don’t eat worms. Well, I’ll get some sunflower seeds.”

“I’ll donate a few nuts,” said Nick, the squirrel, who had been hoping for a chance to speak.

“Oh, I forgot to say that the General said ’e would come in ahead of the army so ’e could review them as they marched into the village,” cried Tilly.

“He’s going to review the troops, did you say?” asked Grandpa, who was hard of hearing.

“Yes!” shouted Tilly, right into the old gentleman’s ear. “The General is goin’ to review the army.”

“Well, we got to get a reviewing stand ready for him,” cried Grandpa.

“I’ll help,” shouted the mouse, “and I’ll get some mice to help, too.”

“All right, get ’em!” cried Grandpa. “The sooner we get to work the better it will be.”

In a short time the Teenie Weenies were as busy as bees in a clover field. The little women set to work cooking and baking. They made cakes and cookies by the thimble full. They made ginger cookies, nut cookies, chocolate cake, fruit cake and half an English walnut full of doughnuts, besides all sorts of other good things.

Grandpa put eight mice, a chipmunk and half a dozen bugs to work getting the place ready for the returning soldiers. They cleaned up the rubbish under the rose-bush, they moved all the desks out of the schoolhouse, where the dinner and dance were to be held, and they made a reviewing stand out of the top of a candy box.

Nick, the squirrel, worked hard opening nuts. He gnawed so many his teeth became sore, but he never complained, for he was a very patriotic squirrel and most fond of the Teenie Weenies.

The little folks decorated the village with Teenie Weenie flags and bunting and when the time arrived for the army to march home the village was crowded with all sorts of visitors. Bugs, mice, squirrels, birds, chipmunks, and even a few chickens and ducks, crowded under the rose-bush.

The General rode in ahead of the army and took his place on the reviewing stand amid the wildest shouting and waving of flags, but when the troops came marching into view there was such a squealing of squirrels and mice and squawking of chickens, ducks and birds, one could hardly hear oneself think. Grandpa shouted so hard that he had one of his choking fits, and a mouse had to pound him on the back until he could get his breath.

When the review was over there was much hugging and kissing and some crying, for most of the little women shed a few tears of happiness, but that’s a strange way women folks have of showing they are happy. One old hen cried so hard she had to be led away. A duck insisted on kissing the Dunce and a mouse hugged Paddy Pinn so hard it nearly broke his arm.

After the little soldiers had visited for a time they were called into the old derby hat for supper and such a supper as they had! There was roasted bird’s egg, frog ham, escalloped hickory nut, walnut au gratin, creamed hearts of sunflower seed, water cress and wild cherry salad, and cakes and cookies and sliced grape and ice cream.

When the little soldiers had eaten until they could not hold another morsel, the General arose from his seat at the head of the big table and made a speech.

“Friends and men of the Teenie Weenie army,” he began, “I want to thank you for your loyal and hearty service. You have gone through hardships and you have risked your lives in battle without complaint. You have done this to aid those in trouble and nothing greater can be said of your deeds than that they were done willingly. Men, I am proud to have been your leader.”

“Three cheers for the army!” shouted a mouse who had been helping to wait on table, and the cheers were given with a will.

Next the Lady of Fashion made a little speech. She very prettily thanked the General and the army for having rescued the Poet and herself from the wild men and as she sat down there were tears in her pretty eyes. The Poet spoke and Grandpa made a speech about the great war in forty-two, but few heard what the old gentleman said, for they were anxious to talk to one another about the great events of the rescue of their friends.

“Friends!” shouted Paddy Pinn, when Grandpa had sat down, “I think the Dunce ought to explain to the rest of us just why that old duck was so anxious to kiss him.” Every one yelled so loudly for the Dunce that he was forced to stand up, but he was so embarrassed he couldn’t speak a word and the Teenie Weenies laughed so hard they cried.

When the tables had been cleared away the orchestra started playing and in a few minutes the little folks were swinging around to the music of “The Lady of Fashion Waltz.” They danced until nearly morning—in fact it was broad daylight when the tired little soldiers crawled into their tiny beds, every one of them mighty thankful that they were safely home again.

“The war is over, our duty is done;
Hang up the pistol, the sword and the gun.”

Rufus Rhyme,

_Teenie Weenie Poet_.

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● Transcriber’s Notes:
○ Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected.
○ Typographical errors were silently corrected.
○ Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only
when a predominant form was found in this book.
○ Text that was in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_);
text that was bold by “equal” signs (=bold=).