Chapter II: Part 2

Methought, I saw a Lady of a middle Age, large Stature, and in the Fulness of her Beauty, stand before me, magnificently dress'd; I had not Leisure to peruse her, before she began to walk about, skip and dance, and used so many odd Gestures, that she appeared to me little better than mad. I had the Curiosity to approach, to observe what she might be, when upon contemplating her Features, her Dress, and her Air, I fancied, I had seen her exact Likeness in several Maps and Drawings in _Metzo-Tinto_, where her Form was made use of to express _Britannia_. This gave me a Tenderness and Compassion for her Condition; I ask'd her many Questions, by her Replies to which I perceived her Head was a little turned, and her Notions of Things extravagant. She owned, she had forsaken all those ingenious and industrious Arts, which she had practised long to the Wonder of her Neighbours, with the Reputation of a discreet and vertuous Matron, and now was resolved to turn _Rope-Dancer_. This was no sooner said, but she falls to work, to setting up her Tackle with proper Supporters; and to my very great Astonishment fixed one End of her Rope in _France_, and t'other in _Holland_. The Inhabitants of these Countries flock'd to behold her, watching and wishing for her Fall, and every one ready to receive her; she tottered strangely, and seemed ready to come down every Minute; upon which those below stretch'd out their Hands in Order to pull her down, and shewed Joy, and Disappointment, in their Looks alternately, as often as she stumbled or recovered. She begg'd for a Pole to poise her, but no body wou'd lend her one; and looked about in vain for help. There appeared at some Distance a Man in a broad Hat, and short Cloak, with a swarthy Complexion, and black Whiskers, who seemed altogether unconcern'd at what shou'd happen; to her in her Frights she gave him many a Look, as if she silently begg'd his Assistance, but whether she had done him any Injury, or that her Pride would not suffer her to turn Petitioner, she seemed ashamed to call to him for Help. Thus she went on tottering, 'till she tore all her Garments, so that her Robes appeared like the ragged Colours in _Westminster-Hall_; at length seeing her Danger, he reached her out a Pole, and then she shewed a tolerable Skill and Agility; which the People perceiving, who were towards France, they resolved to let go the Rope that she might slip down to their Side, and this gave me such Pain for her Safety, that I waked with a Start of Consternation.

Tho' there was nothing in this but a Dream, it cannot be imagined how concerned I was, that it did not last till I could be satisfied whether she fell, or no. I was grave for at least an Hour after, and reflected on the Policy of those, who forsake a safe and profitable Path, for vain and dangerous Flights; I fancied my self a Politician too, and imagined I knew what a Nation of _Projectors_ must bring their Country to. I shall here make a Digression, without giving any Reason for it; for since I am not bound to the Unities of Time, and Place, as we are in Poetry, I stand in no Awe of the peevish Criticks.

Three _French_ Men were travelling into _Spain_, over the Mountains of _Biscay_: One of them trundled before him a _Wheelbarrow_, with Implements for grinding _Knives_ and _Scissors_; another carried a Load of _Mouse-Traps_ and _Bellows_; and the third had a Box of Combs and _Pins_. A poor _Spaniard_, who was travelling into _France_ on Foot, with his Cloak on his Shoulder, met them half Way on the Ascent of a craggy Hill. They sate down to rest in the Shade, and began to confer Notes. They asked the _Spaniard_, whither he was going? He replied, into _France_. What to do? says one of the _Frenchmen_: To seek my Fortune, replies the _Spaniard_: He was asked again, what Trade he was of? He answered, of no Trade at all: of late, says he, we _Spaniards_ have been bred to no Trades; but those of us that are poor, and honest, either beg or borrow; those, that are not, rob or cheat, as they do in other Countries. How did you live in your own Country? says one of the _Frenchmen_. Oh! says the _Spaniard_, very well for a while; I had a great many thousand Pistoles left me by my Ancestors. What have you done with them? says one of the _Frenchmen_: I put them into a _Policy_, says the _Spaniard_, where I was to have a great Interest for them. And what became of that Policy? says one of the _Frenchmen_. The _Spaniard_ replied, that at first the Interest was paid, and then Things went merrily enough; but that in a little Time the Body _Politick_ became _Bankrupt_, and paid neither Principal nor Interest. And did all the Adventurers lose their Money? says one of the _Frenchmen_. All, replies the _Spaniard_, except those that were concerned in the Management: and is Money plenty in _Spain_ now? says one of the _Frenchmen_. Never so scarce, answers the _Spaniard_; for all Degrees of Men, all Artificers, and Mechanicks left off their Trades, and put their Effects into this Policy, that they might live at their Ease; and now they're all ruined; and of all the immense Sums that were put into this damned Policy, there is not the hundredth Part to be found, and that is in the Hands of those few that cheated the rest; but whether it be sunk again into the Bowels of the Earth, or where it is gone, we cannot tell. At this one of the _French_ Men smiled, and told the _Spaniard_, he could let him into the Secret; _while your Nation was in Pursuit of this imaginary Mountain of Gold_, says he, _and all your People neglected their Employments; we, with such Trumpery as these, have drawn away the Wealth of your_ Indian _Mines; we sell our Ware in your Country, and carry your Money back to our own; By which Means we inrich our own Country, and impoverish yours: Of all the Treasures that come into_ Spain, _you enjoy only the Name; for while you are busy in Chimera's, our Industry drains all the Treasure from you; and take this with you, that_ all Projects must end like the Searches for the Philosopher's Stone, that is, in Smoke, where the _Interest_ is paid out of the _Principal Stock_, and is not supported by any industrious _Traffick_.

* * * * *

Printed for W. BOREHAM, at the _Angel_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_, where Advertisements and Letters from Correspondents are taken in.

Numb. XXIII

THE

THEATRE.

By Sir _JOHN FALSTAFFE_.

_To be Continued every_ Tuesday _and_ Saturday.

Price Two-pence.

_Est genus hominum, qui esse primos se omnium rerum volunt,
Nec sunt:--_

Ter.

Tuesday, _May 3. 1720._

I find by a long Conversation with the World, and from Remarks I have made on different Times and Sexes, that there is a Desire, or rather an Ambition, implanted in all humane Creatures of being thought agreeable; but 'tis no unpleasant Study to observe what different Methods are taken of obtaining this one universal End. The Ladies seem to have laid it up as a Maxim on their Side, that their Beauty is to be the greatest Merit; for which Reason no Art, or Industry, is wanting to cultivate that Jewel; and there is so great an Adoration paid to it by all Mankind, that 'tis no Wonder they should neglect the Qualifications of the Mind, Things merely speculative, for those Graces and Ornaments which command Respect, and whose Dominion is owned as soon as seen. Upon the Foot of this Observation, some of our Sex, who are of the Order of the _Beau Garcons_, being equal to the Ladies in their Understandings, employ all their Care and Capacity in decorating the Outside; and have a Notion that he's the most ingenious Man, who makes the cleanest Figure, and is best dress'd for the Assembly or Drawing-Room. Among these pretty Triflers, a good Embroidery on their Clothes, or a Sword Knot of a new Invention, raises more Emulation than a Piece of new Wit does among the bad Poets; in their View of Things, a Man of Sense is a very insignificant Creature; and if, with the _Eclat_ of their Dress, or Equipage, they can draw the Eyes of the Vulgar, they are in That arrived at the Top of their Glory; since all they wish for is to be taken Notice of.

There is another Order of _fine Gentlemen_ among Us, who study other Accomplishments than That of Dress, by which they labour to recommend themselves to Company. The prevailing Artifice of their Conduct is, in every Stage of Action, to appear Great, and insinuate themselves to be thought the _Favourites_ only of the _Great_. These nice Oeconomists, being equipped with one Thread-bare Suit, a _German_ Wig, guilty of few or no Curls, and happy in a single Change of Linnen, seem to despise all superfluous Ornaments of Garniture, and have no Time on their Hands, but what is spent in devising how to get rid, as they would have you suppose, of a Multitude of Engagements. There is a certain veteran Beau of my Acquaintance, who is highly caressed upon the Credit of his Intimacy with Persons of Quality whom he never spoke to; he has a Knot of vain young Fellows attendant upon him, whom he is to introduce into great Company; and he has dropt some Hints, as if he would use his Interest to recommend some of them to Employments at Court. These are, for the most part, young Men stept into suddain great Fortunes, whose Rank and Conversation being at a such a Distance from Title, they fancy that Men of Quality are not made of the same Materials with other Men. This industrious merry old Gentleman has a peculiar Happiness in telling, and making, a Story; and, in the winding up or Catastrophe of it, never fails to surprize and please you, therefore he diverts, as well as amuses his Company. It is to these Talents that he chiefly owes his Subsistance, for he is very little beholding to Fortune, or his Family. I am pleased to hear him relate the Adventures, that his very good Friend King _Charles_ the _Second_ and He have met with together; the Sword he wears (which, it must be confessed, looks something _antique_) was given to him on the Day of the Battle at _Worcester_ by that Monarch. This Weapon being reverenced by the Youths his Followers, one of them sollicited hard to purchase it. For ten Guineas, and to oblige a Friend, our Humorist was prevailed upon to part with it. Next Day he purchas'd exactly such another Peice of Antiquity for _Eighteen Pence_ in _Monmouth_ Street, and has been so obliging, from Time to Time, to sell at least ten of these Weapons to young Fellows well affected to the Royal Family, and all presented to him by the same Monarch with whom he was so conversant. The Furniture of his Apartment is not very costly, as may be judged by his Circumstances; a Gentleman visiting him one Morning, sat down upon a Stool, which being decrepit and crazy, he was apprehensive of a Fall; and therefore throwing it aside with so much Negligence that its whole Frame had like to have been dissolved, the old Gentleman begged him to use it with more Respect, for he valued it above all he was worth beside, it being made out of a Piece of the _Royal Oak_. His Visitant, who was a Man of Fortune, immediately had a Desire to be in Possession of such a Treasure: Over a Bottle he let him know his Inclination, and the good-natur'd old Gentleman, who could refuse nothing to so dear a Friend, was prevailed upon to accept of a _Gold Watch_ in Exchange for his _Stool_. It was immediately sent down to the Mansion-house in the Country, where it is to be seen finely incased, and is shewn to all Strangers as the most valuable Rarity of the Family. _Tom Varnish_, who is a Pupil of our old Humourists, is a good Proficient in his Way of Conversation: Whenever you see him, he's just come from visiting some great Person of Quality. If a Game at _Hombre_ be proposed, and you are settling your Way of Play, he says, _We never play it so at the Dutchess's_. If you ask him to take a Glass of Wine at a Tavern with you, he is always engaged in a _Parti quarre_; and then he speaks all the _French_ he is Master of. If he has an Amour, it is with a Woman of Quality. He sits in the Side Box the first Act of the Play, and stays no longer, for some Reasons best known to himself. It happened once, that a Person sat next to him, who, by his Star and Garter, he knew to be of the first Rank: _Tom_, seeing some of his Acquaintance in the middle Gallery, thought it would be for his Reputation to be seen to talk with this Gentleman; therefore, observing when the Eyes of his Acquaintance were upon him, he drew his Lips near my Lord's Ear, and asked him _what a Clock it was_; my Lord answered him; then _Tom_ look'd up again, and smiled; and when he talked with his Friends next, told them, that his Lordship had informed him of some Changes designed at Court, not yet made publick; and therefore they must pardon him if he did not communicate. He did not come off so well upon another Occasion; for having boasted of a great Intimacy with a certain Foreign Minister, _Tom_ was asked by some Gentlemen to go one Evening to his Assembly: He willingly accepted the Party, thinking by their Means to get Admittance: They, on the contrary, expected to be introduced by him; when they came into his Excellency's House, the Porter, who had dress'd himself in his great Coat, which was richly laced, and having a good Wig, well powder'd, was coming down to take his Post; _Tom_ seeing the Richness of the Habit, fancied it was a Robe worn by Foreigners, mistook the _Porter_ for the Embassador, and, making several low Bows, began to address him with, _May it please your Excellency_. The Fellow answered, Sir, if you'd speak with my Lord, I'll call one of his Gentlemen to you; this raised a Laugh against him by his Companions, and _Tom_ walked off defeated in his Vanity, tho' he would fain have laid the Mistake on a sudden Absence of Thought, and asserted, that he had frequently conversed with the Ambassador.

My old Friend, the Humourist, who is liberal of Talk in his Wine, I must confess, sometimes lets his Vain-Glory bring his Discourse under some Suspitions; especially, when upon the Strain of his Intimacy with King _Charles_. He tells how that Prince, seeing him one Morning in the Park, obliged him to take a Breakfast with him at _Whitehall_: As soon as they were got into the Lodgings, the King called for _Kate_, meaning the Queen, made her salute his Friend, and asked her how she could entertain them. The Queen, he says, seeing a Stranger, made some little Hesitations: But at last, _My Dear_, says she, _we have nothing but a Rib of cold Beef at present, for yesterday, you know, was Washing-Day_. In short, he tells this Story with so much Gravity, that you must either consent to believe it, or be obliged to fight him, for suspecting the Truth of it.

* * * * *

Printed for W. BOREHAM, at the _Angel_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_, where Advertisements and Letters from Correspondents are taken in.

Numb. XXIV

THE

THEATRE.

By Sir _JOHN FALSTAFFE_.

_To be Continued every_ Tuesday _and_ Saturday.

Price Two-pence.

_Hic est quem quæris, ille quem requiris_,
Totâ _notus in_ Urbe.

Mart.

Saturday, _May 7. 1720._

I have more than once declar'd, that, as I set up for a publick Spirit, and am for countenancing every Thing which may give either Profit or Delight to my Countrymen, no Essay, tending to the Improvement of any Art or Science, shall want my Approbation or Encouragement. This may seem a very inconsiderable Assistance from a Person, whose Fortune, and Figure in Life, have not made him Great enough to be a profitable Patron to the Ingenious: But I have found, in many Instances, that the Approbation of a _grave_ Man, and such I am esteemed, has some Weight with the _Many_; since, it is observ'd, that, in Works of Learning, not Half of Mankind judge for themselves, and of Those who do, we may presume to say, that at least Half judge amiss.

It is a trite Observation, but not unserviceable in Life, that _a Man had as good be out of the World, as out of the Fashion_. This lays me under an Obligation and Necessity of looking out for every Thing _new_, that starts into the Publick. The Papers, which are mighty Helps to Intelligence of this Kind, have been big with advertising the History of the _Life_ and _Adventures_ of Mr. _Duncan Campbell_: And finding, by the Information of these Diurnal Oracles, that his Majesty _has received it very graciously_, I was induced to subscribe for this _remarkable_ Treatise. I must confess, I think it a Work of immense Erudition, full of curious Disquisitions into speculative Philosophy, comprehending a large Fund of Philological Learning, and furnished with some Remarks, that have escaped the Pens of former Authors, who have writ in any Faculty whatsoever.

Man's Life is so short, it has been the settled Opinion of the Wise, that this Prosecution of any single Subject would be sufficient to take up all his Time. For this Reason, and especially in the Summer Season, when I make shift to retire from this Metropolis of Noise and Business, I contract my Speculations and Studies under one Head. To this End my great Care is, to collect a small Parcel of useful Books, that may all contribute to one and the same Purpose. As my Pleasure lies chiefly in searching after Truth, and Authors, whose Aim is to inform the Mind, or reform the Morals, I have determined carefully to peruse once more these _Memoirs_, relating to the celebrated Mr. _Campbell_. They are penn'd with a particular Air of Sincerity, and such a strict Regard to Truth and Matter of Fact, that they seem a Copy, in this Point, from _Lucian's true History_. I have therefore, to satisfy my Readers of the Judgment which I make of Books, concluded to accompany my Reflections over this Author, with reading, at proper Intervals, the Surprizing Adventures of _Robinson Crusoe_, the Travels of _Aaron Hill_ Esq., into _Turkey_, the History of the _Empires_ in the _Sun_ and _Moon Worlds_, _Psalmonaazar's_ History of the Island of _Formosa_, and, that great Promoter of Christien Piety, the _Tale of a Tub_.

As I have taken upon me to animadvert upon this Treatise, containing the Adventures and profound Skill of Mr. _Campbell_, I shall continue to do it with the Impartiality of a true Critick. I have allowed the Author's Excellencies, and am therefore at Liberty to observe upon his Errors. He tells us, that _Lapland_ receives its Name from the _Finland_ Word _Lapp_, that is _Exiles_, and from the _Swedish_ Word _Lap_, signifying _Banished_. I am very loath my Countrymen should be deceived in such Matters of Language: And therefore I think my self obliged to let them know, that this Region derives its Name from the _Lappi_ or _Lappones_, the original Inhabitants of it, who were People of a rude and blockish Behaviour: The Word _Lappon_, being equivalent to _barbarous_, and _ignorant_, without the Knowledge of _Arts_ or _Letters_: And hence it comes, that this Clime has been ever so proper for the Reception of _Witches_, and Propagation of the _Conjuring_ Trade.

There is likewise one Circumstance, that, I own, a little shocks my Belief, in Relation to a young Lady, who, he says, was _bewitch'd_: nor do I think told it with that clean Regard to the Lady's Character, which Occurrences of this Nature require. He says, she was in as bad a Condition, as He who was possessed with a _whole Legion of Devils_: (An Account, which must of course alarm her Lovers, and may, possibly, prevent her of good Match.) When he has related the miraculous Cure made upon Her, by Mr. _Campbell's_ taking her up into his _Bed-chamber_, he adds, that she stood upright, drank a Glass of Wine, and evacuated a great deal of Wind. This Charge of Immodesty upon a young Lady unmarried, is what I can by no Means allow: nor does the _uncleanly_ Term become the Pen of a _chast_ and _polite_ Writer. But the Lady shall be vindicated from this Aspersion; for if you consult all Authors, both Ancient and Modern, no _Virgin_ was ever thought capable of such an _Indecency_. Nor can I forbear condemning his Want of Judgment, in refering you to the Lady for the Truth of this: since it is putting his Reputation upon a Circumstance, which is not consistent with her Modesty to admit.

There is another Passage in his Book of singular Mystery: he is pleased to observe that Things are sometimes foretold by _smelling_, and That by Persons who are endued with a _Second-Sight_. This smelling of Futurity would be of notable Use to Statesmen: which brings to my Mind, that somewhere in an Old Play, the Politician cries, _I smell a Plot_. The Vulgar too have an Expression, when they speak of a Man they don't like, of _smelling the Rogue_, and _smelling him out_. These Phrases, no doubt, had their Original from this Kind of Prediction; and the terms remain, tho' the Gift be in great Part lost among Men. If this Gentleman could again teach the Learned to arrive at it, it would be attended with its Inconveniences, as well as Benefits; for we should have our _Politicians_ running their Noses into every private Circumstance of Life, and a _Set of State Beagles_ ever upon the Scent for new Treasons and Conspiracies: on the contrary, this Advantage might be derived, that an Invasion, which was never intended, seen, or heard of, might be _smelt out_ by their _unerring Sagacity_.

Our Author proceeds to observe that Children, _Horses_, and _Cows_, have the _Second Sight_ as well as Men and Women; yet at the same Time takes no Notice of _Hogs_, whom a great Part of the World have allowed to be gifted with Second Sight, and to be able to foretel Storms, and _windy Weather_. This appears to me like Prejudice, and does not consist with the Candour of an unbias'd Author: it looks as if he were carried away with the Humour of his Country, who are observed to be no Favourers of _Pork_, and therefore will allow _Hogs_ no Share in _Divination_.

Indeed, but that I am afraid of being suspected of too much Learning, or that I would invalidate the Testimonies of this Author, I should be bold to say, that no Part of the _Brute_ Creation have the Benefit of _Second Sight_: and that they have neither Organs, nor Reason, to discern, or distinguish Phantoms, from material Bodies: and therefore the old _Rabins_ very subtly conjectured, that the _Ass_, which carried _Balaam_, was not a real Ass, but the _Devil in Disguise_, and subject to the _Magical_ Power of the _Prophet_.

* * * * *

Printed for W. BOREHAM, at the _Angel_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_, where Advertisements and Letters from Correspondents are taken in.

Numb. XXV

THE

THEATRE.

By Sir _JOHN FALSTAFFE_.

_To be Continued every_ Tuesday _and_ Saturday.

Price Two-pence.

_When the Married shall marry,
Then the Jealous will be sorry;
And tho' Fools will be talking,
To keep their Tongues walking,
No Man runs well, I find,
But with's Elbows behind._

Nostrad. _in_ Quev.

Tuesday, _May 10. 1720._

Upon the Perusal of my Motto, I believe my Readers will be puzzled to comprehend what it is I aim at: It seems to be a perfect Riddle, and if you read it backward like a _Witches_ Prayer, it will be as easily understood. Yet let no Man condemn it for that trifling Objection, that he does not understand it: for, I can assure the World, that it is an old _Prophecy_, which comprehends many Secrets of Destiny, Stars, and Fate. Tho' the Vulgar, whose Eyes are shut against these Mysteries, may endeavour to explode all _Divination_; yet when the Prophecy comes to be fulfilled, they will confess their own Ignorance, and give an implicit Belief to such _Revelations_, as are delivered to the Publick by those wise Men, who by their Art pry into the Cabinet of Futurity, and make to themselves _Spectacles_ of the _Planets_, by which they are enabled to read the darkest Page in the Book of _Doomesday_.

Having, in my last, given some Account of my intended Summer Library, it cannot appear strange, if I should already have anticipated a Part of my Pleasure, and dipped into some of the promising Authors I mentioned. The witty _Quevedo_, in one of his visionary Prospects of Hell, fancies, he sees an _Astrologer_ creeping upon all Four; with a pair of Compasses betwixt his Teeth; his Spheres, and Globes about him; his _Jacob's_ Staff before him; and his Eyes fixed upon the Stars, as if he were taking a Height, or making an Observation. The Student, after gazing awhile, started up of a sudden, and wringing his Hands, _Good Lord_! says he, _what an unlucky Dog was I! If I had come into the World but one_ Half Quarter _of an_ Hour _sooner, I had beene saved: for just then_ Saturn _shifted, and_ Mars _was lodged in the_ House of Life. Another Proficient in the same Art, who was very loth to go to Hell before his Time, had his Tormentors be sure he was dead: _for_, says he, _I am a little doubtful of it my self; in Regard that I had_ Jupiter _for my_ Ascendant, _and_ Venus _in the_ House of Life, _and no_ malevolent Aspect _to cross me. So that by the Rules of_ Astrology, _I was to live, precisely_, a Hundred and one Years, two Months, six Days, four Hours, and three Minutes.

It is plain from such Instances, and many more of equal Demonstration, had I Leisure to collect them, that the Stars dispose of us as they please, and have an Influence on every Action of our Lives. They are particularly busy in the Affairs of Women, and She that, by a too great Love of Society, has been kind to others besides her own Husband, might have been an Example of Discretion and Modesty, had she been born a Minute sooner, or later, and had a more _continent_ Planet for her _Ascendent_. I hope, this will be sufficient to vindicate the Science from all Suspicions of Imposture. I can assure my Readers, that I my self saw a _Prophecy_ about _two_ Months _after_ the Battle of _Hockstadt_, which exactly described that great Event in all its Circumstances. The same Prophecy foretold, that in seven Years _Lewis_ the _Fourteenth_ should not have Ground enough to make him a Grave; and tho' this did not exactly come to pass, it cannot be imputed to the _Ignorance_ of the Astrologer, but to those _Counsels_ and _Events_ which would not suffer the Prophecy to take Place.

I am my self a considerable Proficient in this Study, and have told several Things that have greatly surprized the Hearers. I am consulted chiefly by the Ladies, who come to my Lodgings by _Two's_ and by _Three's_; and it is pleasant to hear them titter, and laugh among themselves, before they venture to knock at my Door. The young Things come in blushing, and express all the Fears and Confusions natural to Youth and Innocence: Immediately I examine them: One tells me, she desires to know _when she shall be married_; another is as importunate to learn _when she shall be a Widow_: I interrupt them, by telling one, I know that _she_ is a _married Woman_; and the other, that _she_ shall soon be _married_. I proceed to ask them several Questions, which they are very ingenious in answering: And then I tell them a hundred Things, every one of which they knew to a Tittle before-hand. The Result is, that they go away frighted and amazed at my profound Skill; and I often over-hear them saying, that _He certainly must deal with the Devil, or he could not have told us such and such Circumstances_.

But the Excellency of my Skill consists in giving an Account of things lost: I would not have the Reader suppose that I descend to the trifling Study of consulting Fate, about _who_ stole a _Spoon_, or _what_ became of a straggling _Thimble_, Things of which the Stars take no Cognizance. These Toys I leave to the Six-penny _Philomaths_ of _Moorfields_, and the _Astrologers_ of _Grub-street_: My Enquiries are a little more sublime. I account for Things which some lose, and no other finds; of this Nature are the _Maidenheads_ of _Women_, and the _Honour_ of _Great Men_. They, who are short-sighted in the Sciences, cannot see they fly up to the _Moon_, from whence they never return, as the learned _Ariosta_ discovered before me: And therefore it is an Absurdity in our Language, and ought to be corrected, when we say of Things which we cannot account for, _I know no more than the_ Man _in the_ Moon.

Astrology consists of many Branches, which the Learned, who have travelled thro' the Spheres, very well know; and every Proficient takes the Road which he likes best. A Student, now living, has made great Discoveries concerning the Duration of this _Earthly Globe_; and tho' by his Art he found out, it could not last above _Ten_ Years, yet being a good Protestant, and to shew his great Trust in Government Securities, he purchased an Annuity for _Ninety and Nine_ Years, and, 'tis thought, means to leave the _Reversion_ of it to the Poor till _Doomesday_.

* * * * *

Printed for W. BOREHAM, at the _Angel_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_, where Advertisements and Letters from Correspondents are taken in.

Numb. XXVI.

THE

THEATRE.

By Sir _JOHN FALSTAFFE_.

_To be Continued every_ Tuesday _and_ Saturday.

Price Two-pence.

_--Jam nunc debentia dici
Pleraq; differat, & præsens in tempus omittat._

Hor.

Saturday, _May 14. 1720._

My first Entertainment in a Morning is to throw my Eyes over the Papers of the Day, by which I am informed, with very little Trouble, how Things are carried in the great World. I look upon the printed News to be the Histories of the Times, in which the candid and ingenious Authors, out of a strict Regard to Truth, deliver Facts in such ambiguous Terms, that when you read of a Battle betwixt Count _Mercy_, and the Marquis _De Lede_, you may give the Victory to that Side, which your private Inclination most favours. I have seen in one Paragraph the precise number of the _kill'd_ and _wounded_ adjusted; and in the next, the Author seems doubtful in his Opinion, whether there has been any Battle fought. In Domestick Affairs, our Writers are somewhat more bold in their Intelligence; and relate Things with a greater Air of Certainty, when they lie most under the Suspition of delivering false History. Thus it happens, that I have seen a great Fortune _married_ in the _Evening Post_ two Years after her _Death_; and a Man of Quality has had an _Heir laid to him_, before he himself, or the Town, ever knew that he was married. Thus they _kill_ and _marry_ whom they please, knowing well, that every Circumstance, whether true, or false, serves to fill up a _Paragraph_.

As nothing can effect the Safety, and Welfare of the People, so much as the _Resolutions_ of our _House_ of _Commons_, I read over the _Votes_ with a diligent Concern. 'Tis there that every Man aggrieved is to find Redress; from their Proceedings is it, that Peace abroad, or Unity at home, must be expected: and should they be byass'd, or deceived, their Error must involve Millions in Misfortunes. _Horace's_ Observation has ever prevailed, and will continue to do so, while this is a World. _Delirant Reges, plectuntur Achivi._

I read a Resolution of that Honourable House lately, which gave me no little satisfaction, and which I had long expected from their Wisdom: viz. that all Methods of raising Money by _Voluntary Subscriptions_ are prejudicial to _Trade_. This is a Truth which every Man in Trade has already felt; and yet, tis amazing to observe how little Effect it has had upon the Publick. Whereas by this Resolution it should have been expected, that such prejudicial Subscriptions were worth nothing, the Price of these _Bubbles_ immediately rose, and their Reputation and Number of Subscribers encreased in a greater Proportion, than before they were under any Censure from the State: It is hard to account for this Paradox: either the Authority of Parliament has become a Jest, or we are under the strongest Infatuation that these Kingdoms ever felt.

I am unwilling to publish the Reasons, which an intelligent Person gave me, for such Consequences: Because it would not do Honour to certain Persons, by whose Interest it is expected, that _Charters_ are to be obtain'd. As to the Great _Bubble_, which as open'd a Subscription, where every Man is to pay _five_ Times the Value of what he purchases, a Gentleman, who is very conversant in Trade, informs me, that the Foreigners, who have Original Stocks to a very great Value, have already sent Commissions to have it all sold, when it comes to this extravagant Price. By this Means, they will have Opportunities of draining the Nation of its current Coin. I suppose, it will be answer'd, that the _Exportation_ of _Coin_ is provided against by _Statutes_; it is granted; and so is the Exportation of _Wooll_: Yet we are all sensible, the Law is transgress'd every Day in this Point: And it must be allowed, that Money may be as easily _smuggled_ as any Commodity whatsoever. The Consequence of this will be, that a Circulation of _Paper_ must be set on Foot to supply the Want of _ready Money_: And then, as I have read in a very witty Author, _a_ Crown-Piece _will be shewn about as an_ Elephant, _and_ Guineas _will be stiled of_ Blessed Memory.

Without being deeply learned in Trade, this appears to me a natural Consequence: Yet, notwithstanding all that can be said, I find the giddy Multitude resolute to forsake the profitable Paths of Industry, to grasp only at _Bubbles_ and _Shadows_. This calls to my Mind the Fable of _Jupiter_ and the _Old Woman_. The indulgent God gave the Woman a _Hen_, which laid a _Golden Egg_ every Day: She, not content with this slow Way of growing rich, and being curs'd with a foolish Avarice, thought a Mine of Golden Eggs must be lodged in the Hen's Belly: But, killing the Bird, she found only common Entrails, and lost at once the _expected Treasure_, and the Advantage which she reaped before, by its laying every Day.

But it is Time to have done with these Discourses; the World is obstinate in the Pursuit of Follies, and not to be reclaimed either by the Authority of Parliaments, or good Sense: It is not so much the Consideration of this, as the Season being so far advanced, which now induces me to lay down my Pen. My Thoughts and Desires, I must own, are turn'd to Solitude and rural Pleasures. The Man, who desires to have his Body in Health, should rise from Table with some Remains of Appetite, and not be covetous of gorging to Satiety: So a Writer, who would not wish to surfeit the Town, should submit to give over Writing, before they begin to think he has harass'd them too long.

The gay Part of the World are every Day retreating from the Field of Business; and going with their Families into Summer Quarters. I look upon my self in the State of a _Roman_ General, who has made a vigorous and successful Campaign, and is now returning Home to take his _Triumph_. I am retiring to the Village, in which my Family for some Ages have made no inconsiderable Figure, and know I shall be received not with the single Respect due to my Name and Quality, but as the Person who ingaged the late memorable Sir _John Edgar_. If Health and Fortune permit, next Season, I shall again propagate my Character in the Town; in the mean Time, to make my self the more conspicuous, I have ordered my _Lucubrations_ to be printed in a _small_ Volumn, and to have one of the Books sent down after me, which shall be chained in my Library, and go along with the _Mansion-House_ from Generation to Generation, as a lasting Monument in Honour of the Name and Erudition of Sir _John Falstaffe_.

* * * * *

Printed for W. BOREHAM, at the _Angel_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_, where Advertisements and Letters from Correspondents are taken in.

THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY

ANNOUNCES ITS

Publications for the Third Year (1948-1949)

At least two items will be printed from each of the three following groups:

Series IV: Men, Manners, and Critics
Sir John Falstaff (pseud.), _The Theatre_ (1720).
Aaron Hill, Preface to _The Creation_; and
Thomas Brereton, Preface to _Esther_.
Ned Ward, Selected Tracts.

Series V: Drama
Edward Moore, _The Gamester_ (1753).
Nevil Payne, _Fatal Jealousy_ (1673).
Mrs. Centlivre, _The Busie Body_ (1709).
Charles Macklin, _Man of the World_ (1781).

Series VI: Poetry and Language
John Oldmixon, _Reflections on Dr. Swift's Letter to
Harley_ (1712); and Arthur Mainwaring, _The British
Academy_ (1712).
Pierre Nicole, _De Epigrammate._
Andre Dacier, Essay on Lyric Poetry.

Issues will appear, as usual, in May, July, September, November, January, and March. In spite of rising costs, membership fees will be kept at the present annual rate of $2.50 in the United States and Canada; $2.75 in Great Britain and the continent. British and continental subscriptions should be sent to B.H. Blackwell, Broad Street, Oxford, England. American and Canadian subscriptions may be sent to any one of the General Editors.

|-------------------------------------------------------------------------| | TO THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY: | | | | } the third year | | I enclose the membership fee for } the second and third year | | } the first, second, and third year| | | | NAME__________________________________________________________________ | | ADDRESS_______________________________________________________________ | | ______________________________________________________________________ | | ______________________________________________________________________ | | | |-------------------------------------------------------------------------|

NOTE: All income received by the Society is devoted to defraying cost of printing and mailing.

THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY

MAKES AVAILABLE

Inexpensive Reprints of Rare Materials

FROM

ENGLISH LITERATURE OF THE SEVENTEENTH AND EIGHTEENTH CENTURIES

Students, scholars, and bibliographers of literature, history, and philology will find the publications valuable. _The Johnsonian News Letter_ has said of them: "Excellent facsimiles, and cheap in price, these represent the triumph of modern scientific reproduction. Be sure to become a subscriber; and take it upon yourself to see that your college library is on the mailing list."

The Augustan Reprint Society is a non-profit, scholarly organization, run without overhead expense. By careful management it is able to offer at least six publications each year at the unusually low membership fee of $2.50 per year in the United States and Canada, and $2.75 in Great Britain and the continent.

Libraries as well as individuals are eligible for membership. Since the publications are issued without profit, however, no discount can be allowed to libraries, agents, or booksellers.

New members may still obtain a complete run of the first year's publications for $2.50, the annual membership fee.

During the first two years the publications are issued in three series: I. Essays on Wit; II. Essays on Poetry and Language; and III. Essays on the Stage.

PUBLICATIONS FOR THE FIRST YEAR (1946-1947)

MAY, 1946: Series I, No. 1--Richard Blackmore's _Essay upon Wit_ (1716), and Addison's _Freeholder_ No. 45 (1716).

JULY, 1946: Series II, No. 1--Samuel Cobb's _Of Poetry and Discourse on Criticism_ (1707).

SEPT., 1946: Series III, No. 1--Anon., _Letter to A.H. Esq.; concerning the Stage_ (1698), and Richard Willis' _Occasional Paper_ No. IX (1698).

NOV., 1946: Series I, No. 2--Anon., _Essay on Wit_ (1748), together with Characters by Flecknoe, and Joseph Warton's _Adventurer_ Nos. 127 and 133.

JAN., 1947: Series II, No. 2--Samuel Wesley's _Epistle to a Friend Concerning Poetry_ (1700) and _Essay on Heroic Poetry_ (1693).

MARCH, 1947: Series III, No. 2--Anon., _Representation of the Impiety and Immorality of the Stage_ (1704) and anon., _Some Thoughts Concerning the Stage_ (1704).

PUBLICATIONS FOR THE SECOND YEAR (1947-1948)

MAY, 1947: Series I, No. 3--John Gay's _The Present State of Wit_; and a section on Wit from _The English Theophrastus_. With an Introduction by Donald Bond.

JULY, 1947: Series II, No. 3--Rapin's _De Carmine Pastorali_, translated by Creech. With an Introduction by J.E. Congleton.

SEPT., 1947: Series III, No. 3--T. Hanmer's (?) _Some Remarks on the Tragedy of Hamlet_. With an Introduction by Clarence D. Thorpe.

NOV., 1947: Series I, No. 4--Corbyn Morris' _Essay towards Fixing the True Standards of Wit_, etc. With an Introduction by James L. Clifford.

JAN., 1948: Series II, No. 4--Thomas Purney's _Discourse on the Pastoral_. With an Introduction by Earl Wasserman.

MARCH, 1948: Series III, No. 4--Essays on the Stage, selected, with an Introduction by Joseph Wood Krutch.

The list of publications is subject to modification in response to requests by members. From time to time Bibliographical Notes will be included in the issues. Each issue contains an Introduction by a scholar of special competence in the field represented.

The Augustan Reprints are available only to members. They will never be offered at "remainder" prices.

GENERAL EDITORS

RICHARD C. BOYS, University of Michigan EDWARD NILES HOOKER, University of California, Los Angeles H.T. SWEDENBERG, JR., University of California, Los Angeles

ADVISORY EDITORS

EMMETT L. AVERY, State College of Washington LOUIS I. BREDVOLD, University of Michigan BENJAMIN BOYCE, University of Nebraska CLEANTH BROOKS, Louisiana State University JAMES L. CLIFFORD, Columbia University ARTHUR FRIEDMAN, University of Chicago SAMUEL H. MONK, University of Minnesota JAMES SUTHERLAND, Queen Mary College, London

Address communications to any of the General Editors. Applications for membership, together with membership fee, should be sent to

THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY 310 ROYCE HALL, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES 24, CALIFORNIA

or

Care of PROFESSOR RICHARD C. BOYS ANGELL HALL, UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN

|-------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Please enroll me as a member of the Augustan Reprint Society. | | | | I enclose {$2.50} as the membership fee for } the second year | | { 5.00} } the first and second year| | | | NAME__________________________________________________________________ | | ADDRESS_______________________________________________________________ | | ______________________________________________________________________ | | ______________________________________________________________________ | | | |-------------------------------------------------------------------------|