Chapter I: WONDER how I lived before I met Robert. I wonder what use were the

days. Oh! and I wonder, I wonder if the Duke continues to be obdurate about me if I shall ever have the strength of mind to part from him so as not to spoil his future.

Such a short time ago--not yet four weeks--since I was still at Branches, and wondering what made the clock go round--the great big clock of life.

Oh, now I know! It is being in love--frightfully in love like we are. I must try to keep my head though, and remember all the remarks of Lady Ver about things and men. Fighters all of them, and they must never feel quite sure. It will be dreadfully difficult to tease Robert, because he is so direct and simple; but I must try I suppose. Perhaps being so very pretty as I am, and having all the male creatures looking at me with interest will do, and be enough to keep him worried, and I won’t have to be tiresome myself. I hope so, because I really do love him so extremely, I would like to let myself go and be as sweet as I want to.

I am doing all the things I thought perfectly silly to hear of before. I kissed his letter, and slept with it on the pillow beside me, and this morning woke at six and turned on the electric light to read it again! The part where the “Darling” comes is quite blurry I see in daylight; that is where I kissed most I know!

I seem to be numb to everything else. Whether Lady Ver is angry or not does not bother me. I did play fair. She could not expect me to go on pretending when Robert had said straight out he loved me. But I am sure she will be angry, though, and probably rather spiteful about it.

I will write her the simple truth in a day or two, when we see how things go. She will guess by Robert not going to Sedgwick.

CLARIDGE’S,

_Monday afternoon_.

AT half past eleven this morning Lady Merrenden came, and the room was all full of flowers that Robert had sent--bunches and bunches of violets and gardenias. She kissed me, and held me tight for a moment, and we did not speak. Then she said in a voice that trembled a little,

“Robert is so very dear to me--almost my own child --that I want him to be happy, and you, too, Evangeline--I may call you that, may not I?”

I squeezed her hand.

“You are the echo of my youth, when 1, too, knew the wild springtime of love. So dear, I need not tell you that you may count upon my doing what I can for you both.”

Then we talked and talked.

“I must admit,” she said at last, “I was prejudiced in your favour for your dear father’s sake, but in any case my opinion of Robert’s judgement is so high, I would have been prepared to find you charming even without that. He has the rarest qualities, he is the truest, most untarnished soul in this world.”

“I don’t say,” she went on, “that he is not just as the other young men of his age and class; he is no Galahad, as no one can be with truth who is human and lives in the world. And I daresay kind friends will tell you stories of actresses and other diversions, but I who know him, tell you you have won the best and greatest darling in London.”

“Oh, I am sure of it!” I said. “I don’t know why he loves me so much, he has seen me so little; but it began from the very first minute I think with both of us. He is such a nice shape!”

She laughed. Then she asked me if she was right in supposing all these _contretemps_ we had had were the doing of Lady Ver. “You need not answer, dear,” she said. “I know Ianthe--she is in love with Robert herself, she can’t help it; she means no harm, but she often gets these attacks, and they pass off. I think she is devoted to Sir Charles really.”

“Y-e-s,” I said.

“It is a queer world we live in, child,” she continued, “and true love and suitability of character are such a rare combination, but, from what I can judge, you and Robert possess them.”

“Oh, how dear of you to say so!” I exclaimed. “You don’t think I _must_ be bad, then, because of my colouring?”

“What a ridiculous idea, you sweet child!” she laughed. “Who has told you that?”

“Oh! Mrs. Carruthers always said so--and--and--the old gentlemen, and--even Mr. Carruthers hinted I probably had some odd qualities. But you do think I shall be able to be fairly good, don’t you?”

She was amused I could see, but I was serious.

“I think you probably might have been a little wicked if you had married a man like Mr. Carruthers,” she said, smiling; “but with Robert I am sure you will be good. He will never leave you a moment, and he will love you so much you won’t have time for anything else.”

“Oh! that is what I shall like--being loved,” I said.

“I think all women like that,” she sighed. “We could all of us be good if the person we love went on being demonstrative. It is the cold matter-of-fact devotion that kills love, and makes one want to look elsewhere to find it again.”

Then we talked of possibilities about the Duke. I told her I knew his _toquade_, and she, of course, was fully acquainted with mamma’s history.

“I must tell you, dear, I fear he will be difficult,” she said. “He is a strangely prejudiced person, and obstinate to a degree, and he worships Robert, as we all do.”

I would not ask her if the Duke had taken a dislike to me, because I _knew_ he had.

“I asked you to meet him on Saturday on purpose,” she continued. “I felt sure your charm would impress him, as it had done me, and as it did my husband--but I wonder now if it would have been better to wait. He said, after you were gone, that you were much too beautiful for the peace of any family, and he pitied Mr. Carruthers if he married you! I don’t mean to hurt you, child. I am only telling you everything, so that we may consult how best to act.”

“Yes, I know,” I said, and I squeezed her hand again; she does not put out claws like Lady Ver.

“How did he know anything about Mr. Carruthers?” I asked, “or me--or anything?”

She looked ashamed.

“One can never tell how he hears things. He was intensely interested to meet you, and seemed to be acquainted with more of the affair than I am. I almost fear he must obtain his information from the servants.”

“Oh, does not that show the housemaid in him! Poor fellow!” I said, “He can’t help it, then, any more than I could help crying yesterday before Robert in the Park. Of course we would neither of us have done these things if it were not for the _tache_ in our backgrounds, only, fortunately for me, mine wasn’t a housemaid, and was one generation further back, so I would not be likely to have any of those tricks.”

She leant back in her chair and laughed. “You quaint, quaint child, Evangeline,” she said.

Just then it was twelve o’clock and Robert came in.

Oh! talk of hearts beating. If mine is going to go on jumping like this every time Robert enters a room, I shall get a disease in it in less than a year.

He looked too intensely attractive; he was not in London clothes, just serge things and a Guard’s tie, and his face was beaming, and his eyes shining like blue stars.

We behaved nicely; he only kissed my hand, and Lady Merrenden looked away at the clock even for that! She has tact!

“Isn’t my Evangeline a darling, Aunt Sophia? he said. “And don’t you love her red hair?”

“It is beautiful,” said Lady Merrenden.

“When you leave us alone I am going to pull it all down,” and he whispered, “darling, I love you,” so close, that his lips touched my ear, while he pretended he was not doing anything! I say again, Robert has ways which would charm a stone image.

“How was Torquilstone last night?” Lady Merrenden asked. “And did you tell him anything?”

“Not a word,” said Robert. “I wanted to wait and consult you both which would be best. Shall I go to him at once, or shall he be made to meet my Evangeline again and let her fascinate him, as she is bound to do, and then tell him?”

“Oh, tell him straight!” I exclaimed, remembering his proclivities about the servants, and that Véronique knows. “Then he cannot ever say we have deceived him.”

“That is how I feel,” said Robert.

“You take Evangeline to lunch, Aunt Sophia, and I will go back and feed with him and tell him, and then come to you after.”

“Yes, that will be best,” she said, and it was settled that she should come in again and fetch me in an hour, when Robert should leave to go to Vavasour House. He went with her to the lift, and then he came back.

No--even in this locked book I am not going to write of that hour--it was too divine. If I had thought just sitting in the Park was heaven, I now know there are degrees of heaven, and that Robert is teaching me up towards the seventh.

_Monday afternoon (continued)._