Chapter II: Act II

SCENE: _The same scene as in the first act, only the dinner
table is missing. Nothing is changed there, although a year has
gone by. It is evening and electric lights are burning. CARL
TILE is sitting at the writing table, cross-examining IVAN, the
man servant._

CARL

And what time does my brother usually come home?

IVAN

He has his dinner at the restaurant and comes home about eight o’clock. He goes out again at nine or ten. I don’t know when he comes back.

CARL

And when do you go home?

IVAN

At ten. Sometimes he sends me away earlier.

CARL

Did you serve in the army?

IVAN

Yes, sir. In the cavalry.

CARL

Ah! Fine! You look all right, Ivan, and you answer questions sensibly. Fine!

IVAN

Glad to serve you.

CARL

Fine! Well, does he go out every evening?

IVAN

No, twice a week. All the other evenings he stays home. Perhaps he goes out after ten, only I don’t know about it.

CARL

Correct. Who visits him?

IVAN

No one.

CARL

Really?

IVAN

Only Mr. Alexandrov comes up very often.

CARL

Which Alexandrov? From the bank?

IVAN

_Smiling_:

No. They call him “Feklusha.”

CARL

Ah! What do they do?

IVAN

I don’t know.

CARL

You answer wonderfully. But what do you serve them?

IVAN

Cognac.

CARL

Much?

IVAN

Plenty. We have a large stock of it.

CARL

Indeed! I know this Mr. Alexandrov. Be careful, Ivan, that he doesn’t steal a fur coat some day.

IVAN

_Smiling_:

I’m watching him.

CARL

You are a splendid fellow. Now, Ivan, tell me: I suppose you have a key of your own for the outside door?

IVAN

Yes, sir. I have two keys for the back door. One is an extra key in case I lose the other one.

CARL

Correct. Can’t you give me one of the keys? I sometimes pass here after ten o’clock. I want to get a book, and there is no one to open the door.

IVAN

I doubt it.

CARL

Nonsense. I am not Mr. Alexandrov, who may steal a fur coat. Here you have five rubles.

IVAN

Thank you very much. But I still have my doubts about it.

CARL

Nonsense! Here are five rubles more.

IVAN

Here is the key. But in case anything happens?

CARL

Of course, I take everything upon myself. You are a splendid fellow! I like sensible people. Here are two rubles more. Wait. Who’s ringing the bell?

IVAN

I suppose it is Mr. Alexandrov—it can’t be any one else. Excuse me.

_Exit, returns shortly, followed by FEKLUSHA. Announces,
smiling_:

Mr. Alexandrov.

FEKLUSHA

_Flatteringly_:

Good evening, Mr. Tile.

_CARL walks up and down the room, without responding, as though
not noticing Alexandrov at all._

I suppose Henry will be here soon. It is almost eight o’clock.

_CARL walks silently, then stops in front of FEKLUSHA and looks
at him fixedly._

CARL

I am dreadfully sick of you, Mr. Feklusha! For more than six months I haven’t come here once without seeing that simpleton’s face of yours. Why do you snoop around here? You work for the police, while I am an honest man, a student—you are repulsive to me.

FEKLUSHA

What will you do about it, Mr. Tile?

CARL

I’ve offended him. “Mr. Tile!” Yes, I am Mr. Tile, and if you steal a fur coat some day, Mr. Feklusha—

FEKLUSHA

Upon my word, I’ll complain to Henry. Why do you persecute me, why do you make my life miserable? I work for the police, but I am an honest man—I have a family.

CARL

He talks of honesty!

IVAN

I’m going to complain!

CARL

And I will tell him that you are lying. Whom will he believe, Mr. Feklusha? I’m bored. I didn’t have enough sleep last night. Tell me some interesting lie.

IVAN

I am not a liar. Lie yourself.

CARL

Rude—rude into the bargain! It seems you have no abilities of any kind. That’s terrible—to be a nonentity, a fool, to be unable to do anything, even to lie. And in addition to that, to have an enormous family, dirty children—to love them, and wipe their noses tenderly! Fool! And in addition to all that to be sensitive, to have a certain self-respect. Self-respect! And I suppose his wife beats him too—I can tell by his beard. Your wife beats you, Mr. Feklusha, doesn’t she?

FEKLUSHA

I don’t feel like answering you.

CARL

I suppose your wife is a very untidy woman. And you are not particularly clean yourself, Mr. Alexandrov. You are repulsive to me. Why aren’t you just an insect? Then you could be easily removed—with insect powder. We wouldn’t have to stand upon ceremony with you. How absurd!

_He walks silently, then stops again in front of FEKLUSHA, very
close to him._

Are you angry? Don’t be angry. Believe me, I was only jesting. Don’t you want to look at me at all? Well, let me see your little eyes. I slept very poorly last night, I spent the night with a woman, and I am nervous; do you understand, Feklusha, I am nervous! Under such circumstances a man will talk all sorts of nonsense.

FEKLUSHA

I’m not angry, but why should you offend a man like that? I haven’t done you any harm. It’s a sin, Mr. Tile.

CARL

It isn’t right, I have already admitted it. Tell me, my dear fellow, what have you been doing here with my brother Henry?

FEKLUSHA

Nothing. Upon my word of honor!

CARL

Since you give me your word of honor, I bow to you and am silent. But what does he do? Every man does something—what does my brother Henry do?

FEKLUSHA

I don’t know. Upon my word of honor!

CARL

Henry stays home, he has given up his sprees, and spends his evenings with a strange character like you. Don’t you think Henry has gone out of his mind—not altogether, but a little?

FEKLUSHA

Oh, no—I don’t think so at all. You and I may go out of our minds, but not he!

CARL

It is very interesting to talk with you. You have such fascinating little eyes, Mr. Feklusha, and if you are not a downright scoundrel, then I know nothing about scoundrels.

FEKLUSHA

Again?

CARL

Let us combine, Mr. Feklusha. Do you want to make twenty thousand rubles? You can’t imagine it? Well, then, here is the proposition: Persuade my brother Henry to insure his life for a hundred thousand rubles.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t understand you. I can’t tell when you are jesting and when you are not.

CARL

It’s as plain as day. Altogether one hundred thousand rubles. Twenty thousand for you, and eighty thousand for me, as his brother, and for the idea.

FEKLUSHA

But, for that, he would have to die!

_Carl laughs._

CARL

You are comical.

FEKLUSHA

But what is he going to die from? What an idea! Henry is a strong man.

CARL

_Laughs loudly._

You are very comical, Mr. Feklusha! You ought to be in a circus. You are a clown!

FEKLUSHA

_Rising._

I am going to complain to Henry! What do you mean? Why do you annoy me like Satan? Satan!

CARL

_Indifferently_:

You are a perfect fool! And there is such an odor about you—I suppose you don’t know what a bath is. Fie! Go and take a bath. I’ll give you some money for a bath.

FEKLUSHA

I’ll tell him everything, you’ll see!

CARL

_Still more indifferently_:

Hold your tongue! I am disgusted with you. I want to walk and think. Keep quiet—and don’t disturb me. If you breathe a word about it I will tell my brother Henry this evening that you were urging me to insure his life and kill him. Silence!

_He walks up and down the room slowly. FEKLUSHA is silent. A
knock on the door in the corridor. After a few seconds HENRY
enters._

HENRY

Good evening, Carl. How are you? Good evening, Feklusha. Sit down.

CARL

Thank you, and how are you, Henry?

HENRY

Quite well. Have you been here long?

CARL

A little while.

HENRY

Did you come for money, Carl? I believe your month is not up yet.

CARL

Thank you. I still have enough. Besides, I have found a good pupil.

HENRY

Don’t stand upon ceremony with me, Carl. I intend to increase your allowance twenty rubles a month. Feklusha, at yesterday’s conference they decided to increase my salary by twelve hundred a year.

FEKLUSHA

Really? I congratulate you, I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart.

HENRY

The management appreciates my services.

CARL

I don’t even congratulate you, Henry—it is so natural. Yesterday I met Tizenhausen, and he told me that you have become ideal. He assured me that he had never seen such a correct, tireless, and perfect worker as you are. Everybody fears you at the bank.

HENRY

Oh, yes, they are all afraid of me. When I pass by, they don’t dare lift their heads from their work. Yesterday I dismissed two clerks for not being punctual. Yes, people have reason to be afraid of me.

CARL

Of course, you don’t include me among them? I am jesting, Henry. But here is something I wanted to ask you seriously—I was talking about it with your friend here.

HENRY

With my client, Carl. The Romans used to say so.

CARL

I beg your pardon, with your client. I find that his condition is terrible. He has an enormous family, lack of means, lack of abilities.

HENRY

Well?

CARL

I don’t need any more money. Be generous, Henry, give him the increase of twenty rubles a month. I ask you seriously.

_Pause. HENRY looks at his brother attentively. CARL is serious
and modest._

HENRY

Good, Good! Feklusha, did you hear what he said? Thanks to my brother, Carl, now you will get twenty rubles a month from me.

FEKLUSHA

_Confused._

I really don’t know—My God! Thank you, Mr. Tile. I can’t express my—but in the name of my whole family—!

_On the point of tears. The brothers look at him._

CARL

_To his brother, softly_:

He is agitated.

_Loudly_:

Well, good night, Henry, good night. Are you staying home this evening?

HENRY

No, I have an appointment. Good night, Carl. The door shuts itself.

_Exit CARL. HENRY waits until the door closes. Mockingly shows
with his face and hand how the door closed, and laughs loudly.
FEKLUSHA looks at him with a certain sense of fear._

FEKLUSHA

Henry, you were drinking this evening at dinner?

HENRY

I always drink at dinner. If Carl were not my brother, I would have said that Carl was a—fool. (_Laughs._) They gave me an increase of twelve hundred! They say I am ideal. Feklusha, they are afraid of me at the bank!

FEKLUSHA

_Laughs flatteringly._

Very clever, Henry! I am amazed how you do it. Was it true that you dismissed two clerks?

HENRY

Yes.

FEKLUSHA

After all, I am sorry for them. Have they families?

HENRY

Whatever the situation, I cannot permit inaccuracies. They deserved to be dismissed.

FEKLUSHA

And what about the twenty rubles for me? Is that true, or were you only jesting?

HENRY

You are a rabbit—simply a cowardly rabbit. No, I was not jesting. You will get twenty rubles a month—but not long, not long, Feklusha! (_Laughs._) These foolish people at the bank are afraid of me. I want to steal a million from them, and they are afraid of me! I want to steal a million from them, and they say, “Henry Tile is an irreproachable worker, he is ideal.” Isn’t it comical, Alexandrov?

FEKLUSHA

_Sternly_:

I don’t believe it, Henry. These are only words to test me, nothing else. Excuse me.

HENRY

You believe I am so honest?

FEKLUSHA

I don’t believe anything. I admit that with all your talent you could easily appropriate from the bank not only one million, but two millions—as many as you want. But—!

HENRY

Steal, Feklusha! Speak as a friend—steal!

FEKLUSHA

Still worse—steal! But what’s the sense of it? What’s the sense, Henry? I ask you with tears in my eyes, explain it to me, don’t torture my head, don’t torment me! Here they have given you an increase of twelve hundred and they will soon give you another increase—Henry, you are my benefactor, but I am absolutely convinced that you are just making sport of me.

HENRY

You are foolish, Feklusha.

FEKLUSHA

I have heard that many times. You can’t surprise me with that, nevertheless I don’t believe in your plan. My God! And why do you talk to me about it? What sort of comrade am I to you? You have the mind of a cabinet minister, and what am I? No. I am absolutely sure you are jesting, you are just acting, as in a play. You are not going to run away anywhere!

HENRY

You are a fool, Feklusha! You are all fools, and none of you knows Henry Tile with his great soul. I have a great soul! My soul dwells in a palace, and not in this stupid apartment, where the nursery windows face the sun! But let them be deceived—I am gladdened by the sight of the deluded fools.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want to know about it, I don’t want to! Do you hear, Mr. Tile, or no? I don’t want to hear any more about it. For the past six months, ever since you told me about it, I haven’t slept a single night—upon my word!

HENRY

Why should you sleep?

FEKLUSHA

What do you mean? I once lived without care.

HENRY

Why should you sleep? I do not sleep nights either. Oh, I have slept long enough, and now I have awakened. Don’t you see the sun that is shining for me at night? That is my sun, I have awakened. Henry Tile, who is fond of punctuality, who placed this stupid music upon the piano, who leased the apartment for three years, for ten years, for a hundred years—Henry Tile has awakened! Would you like me to play for you “The Waltz of the Dogs”? Listen. I’ll play for you “The Waltz of the Dogs.”

_He plays it in the same serious, wooden, affected manner as
before. Then he laughs._

HENRY

Did you hear it?

FEKLUSHA

I did. You were drinking at dinner this evening.

HENRY

I always drink at dinner, I told you that before. But I see that you too need a drink to brighten up your dull brain.

_Rings._

We’ll have a _little cognac_ now.

FEKLUSHA

_Laughing, pathetically_:

Now I believe you again. How you say it, a little cognac.

HENRY

Not so loud.

_Enter Ivan._

Ivan, give us some cognac—or—that would be fine—let us have some Swedish punch. Quick!

_Exit Ivan._

Do you like Swedish punch?

FEKLUSHA

I adore Swedish punch, but what’s the use? I don’t see the use of it.

HENRY

The use of it is that you drink cognac and punch, while Henry Tile is deceiving the fools with his arithmetic. And the use of it is also—and I want you to take note of it—that in about two weeks from now I am going away with a million rubles. I will not tell you the exact day.

FEKLUSHA

Why should I know the exact day? But how will you go, if you haven’t even a foreign passport?

HENRY

I have it. But listen: Yesterday I was again examining the railway map and I discovered that my original plan of escape by way of Stockholm will not do. I’d be caught in Stockholm or in Malme. I am a severe critic. I see everything in advance. I have another plan now.

FEKLUSHA

What is it?

HENRY

I am not going to tell you.

FEKLUSHA

I wouldn’t remember it, anyway. How many plans you have already told me! I forget them as soon as you tell them to me. What a head I have! Are we going to examine the map this evening? I like it—it’s so interesting, it takes my breath away.

HENRY

No. Not so loud. Ivan is coming.

_Enter Ivan, with punch, which he puts on the table._

Ivan, you may go home now, I’ll not need you this evening. Good night, Ivan.

IVAN

Good night.

_Exit._

HENRY

Drink, Feklusha, brighten up your dull brain. It’s excellent punch!

FEKLUSHA

If I could only brighten it up! To-day my little boy took sick—the measles, I don’t know—I went away from home—there is nothing for me to do there. A fine father, indeed!

HENRY

This evening we will go to that dirty little tavern of yours. I want to drink much this evening, to talk and see many people. But not fools! Feklusha, do you know that Elizabeth came to me twice and knocked at this door?

FEKLUSHA

No. Really? She was here herself?

HENRY

Yes. The first time she was sent away by Ivan, and the second time I myself opened this door for her, I raised my hand this way and said to her, “Go!” She said, “Forgive me.” I said to her, “Go, foolish Elizabeth!” and I closed the door.

FEKLUSHA

_Drinks and laughs._

I pity the women, they are foolish. But you loved her?

HENRY

No! And we are going this evening to that little tavern of yours—I like the people in that tavern!

FEKLUSHA

Very well, then, let us go. I am ready for anything.

HENRY

And I like you, too. With you I can talk as if I were alone. And yet I am _not_ alone, because you have ears. But I _am_ alone because these are the ears of a donkey! But you are sly—you are a very sly little animal.

FEKLUSHA

How am I sly? What are you saying? I was dreaming of becoming a detective—why, anybody would escape from under my very nose, and I wouldn’t even notice it! Eh?

_Drinks._

HENRY

No. You are a very, very sly little rabbit. I can see it. You have thought up something for yourself, you don’t want to be a fool. Oh, you are a great scoundrel! But that doesn’t matter, for I have already been forewarned by my angel!

_Laughs._

That doesn’t matter!

FEKLUSHA

Stop this. Is it possible that you know all the trains and all the steamers?

HENRY

All.

FEKLUSHA

Just think of it! All? And I can’t even find the right street car, I always get into the wrong one. And is it possible that you need only two sheets of paper in order to get that million? It’s hardly credible!

HENRY

Only two.

FEKLUSHA

What a talent! And what kind of papers do you need?

HENRY

You don’t have to know that, you foolish Feklusha. That’s superfluous. But in about two weeks a certain very correct gentleman will be traveling on a certain steamer and he will have a million in his pocket. And traveling on a certain steamer that gentleman will raise his hand this way—he will stretch it towards the distant shores and say, Good-by, distant and foolish shores! Good-by, apartment with a nursery facing the sun! And good-by and be cursed, and dead, and buried, Henry Tile, who loved order! Feklusha, would you like me to clasp your hand so that your bones will break?

FEKLUSHA

No. I don’t like such jokes, Henry.

HENRY

Mr. Tile, and not Henry! If I see you again in any way disrespectful to me, Feklusha, my old comrade, the only friend of Henry Tile, I will not only break your hand, but I will break every bone in your body. Do you hear?

FEKLUSHA

It was unintentional. How could I allow myself to be disrespectful to you? My God, don’t I understand the difference?

HENRY

Well said! Empty your glass and let us go at once to your little tavern. There you will keep quiet and drink until your eyes turn green, and I will drink, laugh, bang the table, and talk about the foolish, dead Henry Tile. Come!

FEKLUSHA

_Rising._

I was going to ask you something, since you are so kind. Of course, I am a married man, but why shouldn’t we go to a certain house on the way from the tavern? The women there are excellent, they are even intelligent. Really! It would be nice for you, too.

HENRY

Foolish and vulgar. You are a dreadfully petty scamp, you are a rabbit. Come!

FEKLUSHA

_Emptying his glass._

Right away. Well, then, we won’t. I am not a scamp at all. I am simply an unfortunate man. If my child is ill—I am coming.

HENRY

Turn out the light.

_They turn out the light and go out. For some time the stage
is empty. Then the door from the other rooms opens slowly, a
careful whisper is heard, and two shadows, dimly lighted by the
lantern in the street, move in the room. The restrained laugh
of a woman is heard._

CARL

_Loudly and firmly_:

There’s no one here. They went away. You may come in. Don’t be afraid.

WOMAN’S VOICE

Oh, I hurt my knee.

_Laughs._

We are here like thieves.

CARL

I can’t find the switch. I think it is here. Wait, Liza, don’t go before I turn on the light.

ELIZABETH

No, don’t turn on the light, wait. I am sitting in an armchair. But I don’t realize where I am. It is terribly interesting. We are like thieves in a strange apartment. They also sit in armchairs and look around this way. Let us make believe we are thieves, Carl.

_Jestingly, in a threatening whisper_:

Let us kill and rob your brother Henry Tile.

CARL

I haven’t the slightest desire to play. But it was stupid of me not to take along the flashlight. Where are you? I can’t see you.

ELIZABETH

Here.

CARL

I can’t see anything, Liza. I am falling asleep. Another night like this and another day like to-day, and I’ll fall asleep while walking. Strange! Aren’t you tired?

ELIZABETH

_Laughing softly_:

No.

CARL

And I—

_Yawns._

Do you ever let your husband sleep?

ELIZABETH

My husband—yes. But how interesting it is that we can’t see anything. I don’t know where you are sitting. What room is this? I am afraid to look at it in the light. I was in this apartment only twice. It wasn’t finished yet, but Henry showed me how it would be finished. Tell me—no, don’t turn on the light, but tell me—here, over the piano, are two pictures. Wait, I recall, yes, the head of Beethoven and some “concert”—yes?

CARL

No. There are no pictures here.

ELIZABETH

And the rugs?

CARL

There are no rugs here.

ELIZABETH

And the armchair in the corner?

CARL

I don’t know. I am telling you Henry left the apartment unfinished. I am tired of this, Liza. Why did you drag me here? What do you want here?

ELIZABETH

I want it.

CARL

If this isn’t your usual foolishness, it is a perverted whim. It’s immaterial to me, but this is simply uninteresting. And if it is part of your program this evening to shed tears about the broken home, then pardon me—I’ll fall asleep.

ELIZABETH

I don’t remember Henry’s face. Does he resemble you? I can’t recall his face.

CARL

Good night. I am falling asleep.

ELIZABETH

You are dreadfully abominable. I am surprised that such an honest and honorable man as Henry should have such a dishonest brother.

CARL

And therefore, leaving the honest Henry, you became the mistress of the dishonest Carl? Correct!

ELIZABETH

According to you, I am also——

CARL

Also what? First you betrayed Henry with your husband, now you are betraying both Henry and your husband with me. Well, your husband, of course, is a fool, but after all—and then, you are supporting me. You know, that is not particularly moral.

ELIZABETH

Turn on the light.

CARL

Gladly.

_Looking for the switch._

Lizette, I don’t understand why you are so disgusted with me. You have just said so tragically, “Abominable.” There!

_Turns on the light. ELIZABETH is sitting in the armchair near
the piano; she covers her eyes with both hands as the light is
suddenly turned on. CARL sits down again, tired, blinking at
the light._

I am convenient, because you may say everything and do everything with me. The devil take them! They have been drinking punch here. That makes the picture lively. Mr. Feklusha is managing his affairs quite nicely. Punch!

_ELIZABETH takes her hands away from her eyes and examines
the room with fear. She wears large diamond earrings. She is
beautiful._

ELIZABETH

This is terrible! This is terrible!

CARL

It is simply tasteless.

ELIZABETH

No! It looks as if a crime had been committed here. A crime _was_ committed here. I am a murderess, Carl!

CARL

Nonsense! A woman’s nerves! But something is here—a certain interesting odor. Crime! There’s a word that should be pronounced cautiously. It has a magic effect. Ah, the devil take it. And the door. He has a key, he may come back any moment. Let us go!

ELIZABETH

Wait. I am looking. I love him!

CARL

I have no doubt. What wonderful diamonds you have, Liza!

ELIZABETH

I love him. Why have I done it? It wasn’t necessary, it wasn’t necessary at all. I have an enormous amount of money, but I don’t need it, I don’t need it at all. But at that time I wanted money—or didn’t I want it? I don’t know. I don’t know! Carl, I’ll give you ten thousand to-morrow, if you like.

CARL

I do.

ELIZABETH

I’ll give you twenty thousand, if you like.

CARL

No, you won’t, my dear. You won’t give me even ten thousand, but you will give me five hundred for this visit. I know you, my dear! But I am not complaining. I am satisfied.

_Walks uneasily._

Liza, my nerves are on edge.

_Stretching himself._

We must do something. Let us go driving like mad in an automobile. Come. Meanwhile, let me kiss your ear—you have such wonderful ears.

ELIZABETH

Ears or—earrings?

CARL

Both. You are such a darling.

ELIZABETH

Leave me alone. Don’t dare!

CARL

I dare. And now this one!

_Kisses her ear._

ELIZABETH

_Mockingly_:

Karlusha!

CARL

_Quickly stepping away, angrily_:

Please!

ELIZABETH

Karlusha! Karlusha!

CARL

_Turning pale_:

I have already asked you never to call me by that foolish name. My name is Carl and not Karlusha. Please remember!

ELIZABETH

_Also turning pale, but continuing to laugh._

Karlusha! No! You are just Karlusha!

CARL

_Violently_:

But I ask you—seriously! You may call me whatever you like. I will not be offended, but I can’t bear this nickname. Do you hear? Don’t irritate me. Don’t irritate me!

ELIZABETH

And what will happen if I do—Karlusha?

CARL

_Slowly_:

What will happen? My brother Henry will be tried for the murder of Elizabeth. I will choke you. Silence!

ELIZABETH

_Retreating, in a whisper_:

Karlusha, Karlusha, Karlusha!

CARL

_Advancing a step, also in a low voice_:

Keep quiet. Will you? For the last time——

ELIZABETH

_Hiding behind the armchair_:

Karlusha!

_CARL advances towards her silently. ELIZABETH retreats,
without turning her widened eyes from him. Suddenly she stops
and listens._

Hush!

_Frightened._

Some one is coming.

CARL

_Also frightened._

Where? Ssh!

ELIZABETH

Footsteps.

CARL

No.

ELIZABETH

Some one is behind that door.

CARL

Tss. Where?

_Both are pale, bending, listening attentively. Pause. The
electric light is burning._

_Curtain_