Chapter IX: Prologue: Spoken by Mr. Smith

_Know all ye Whigs and Tories of the Pit, (Ye furious Guelphs and Gibelins of Wit, Who for the Cause, and Crimes of Forty One So furiously maintain the Quarrel on) Our Author, as you’ll find it writ in Story, Has hitherto been a most wicked Tory; But now, to th’joy o’th’ Brethren be it spoken, Our Sister’s vain mistaken Eyes are open; And wisely valuing her dear Interest now, All-powerful Whigs, converted is to you. ’.was long she did maintain the Royal Cause, Argu’d, disputed, rail’d with great Applause; Writ Madrigals and Doggerel on the Times, And charg’d you all with your Fore-fathers Crimes; Nay, confidently swore no Plot was true, But that so slily carried on by you: Raised horrid Scandals on you, hellish Stories, In Conventicles how you eat young Tories; As_ Jew _did heretofore eat_ Christian _Suckling; And brought an _Odium_ on your pious Gutling: When this is all Malice it self can say, You for the good Old Cause devoutly eat and pray. Though this one Text were able to convert ye, Ye needy Tribe of Scriblers to the Party; Yet there are more advantages than these, For write, invent, and make what Plots you please, The wicked Party keep your Witnesses; Like frugal Cuckold-makers you beget Brats that secur’d by others fires shall sit. Your Conventicling Miracles out-do All that the Whore of_ Babylon _e’er knew: By wondrous art you make Rogues honest Men, And when you please transform ‘em Rogues again. To day a Saint, if he but hang a Papist, Peach a true Protestant, your Saint’s turn’d Atheist: And dying Sacraments do less prevail, Than living ones, though took in Lamb’s-Wool-Ale. Who wou’d not then be for a Common-weal, To have the Villain covered with his Zeal? A Zeal, who for Convenience can dispense With Plays provided there’s no Wit nor Sense. For Wit’s profane, and Jesuitical, And Plotting’s Popery, and the Devil and all. We then have fitted you with one to day, ’.is writ as ‘twere a Recantation Play; Renouncing all that has pretence to witty, T’oblige the Reverend_ Brumighams _o’th’ City: No smutty Scenes, no Jests to move your Laughter, Nor Love that so debauches all your Daughters. But shou’d the Torys now,--who will desert me, Because they find no dry bobs on your Party, Resolve to hiss, as late did Popish Crew, | By Yea and Nay, she’ll throw her self on you, | The grand Inquest of Whigs, to whom she’s true. | Then let ‘em rail and hiss, and damn their fill, Your Verdict will be_ Ignoramus _still_.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

MEN.

Don _Carlos_, Governour of _Cadiz_, young and rich, in love with _Julia_, Mr. _Smith_ _Antonio_, a Merchant, young and rich. Friend to _Carlos_, in love with _Clara_, but promis’d to _Isabella_, Mr. _Wiltshire_ _Francisco_, old and rich, Husband to _Julia_, and Father to _Isabella_, Mr. _Nokes_. _Baltazer_, Father to _Julia_ and _Clara_, Mr. _Bright_. _Sebastian_, Father to _Antonio_, Mr. _Freeman_. _Guzman_, Gentlemen to _Carlos_, Mr. _Underhill_. _Guiliom_, a Chimney-Sweeper; the False Count, Mr. _Lee_. Two overgrown Pages to the False Count, A little Page to the False Count. _Petro_, Cashier to _Antonio_. Page to Don _Carlos_. Captain of a Gally. Two Seamen. _Lopez_, Servant to _Baltazer_. Several disguis’d like _Turks_.

WOMEN.

_Julia_, Wife to _Francisco_, young and handsom, in love with _Carlos_, Mrs. _Davis_. _Clara_, Sister to _Julia_, in love with _Antonio_, Mrs. _Petty_. _Isabella_, Daughter to _Francisco_; proud, vain and foolish, despising all Men under the degree of Quality, and falls in love with _Guiliom_, Mrs. _Corror_. _Jacinta_, Woman to _Julia_, Mrs. _Osborne_. Wife to _Petro_.

Dancers, Singers, &c.