Chapter XIX: Act I: SCENE I. A Room with several Tables

Enter _Hazard_ in a travelling Habit, and _Jack_, a Sea-Boy,
carrying his Portmantle.

_Haz._ What Town’s this, Boy?

_Boy._ _James-Town_, Master.

_Haz._ Take care my Trunk be brought ashore to night, and there’s for your Pains.

_Boy._ God bless you, Master.

_Haz._ What do you call this House?

_Boy._ Mrs. _Flirt’s_, Master, the best House for Commendation in all _Virginia_.

_Haz._ That’s well, has she any handsome Ladies, Sirrah?

_Boy._ Oh! she’s woundy handsome her self, Master, and the kindest Gentlewoman--look, here she comes, Master.--

Enter _Flirt_ and _Nell_.

God bless you, Mistress, I have brought you a young Gentleman here.

_Flirt._ That’s well, honest _Jack_.--Sir, you are most heartily welcome.

_Haz._ Madam, your Servant. [Salutes her.

_Flirt._ Please you walk into a Chamber, Sir?

_Haz._ By and by, Madam; but I’ll repose here awhile for the coolness of the Air.

_Flirt._ This is a Publick Room, Sir, but ‘tis at your service.

_Haz._ Madam, you oblige me.

_Flirt._ A fine spoken Person. A Gentleman, I’ll warrant him: come, _Jack_, I’ll give thee a Cogue of Brandy for old acquaintance.

[Exeunt Landlady and Boy.
[_Hazard_ pulls out Pen, Ink and Paper, and goes to write.

Enter _Friendly_.

_Friend._ Here, _Nell_, a Tankard of cool Drink, quickly.

_Nell._ You shall have it, Sir.

_Friend._ Hah! who’s that Stranger? he seems to be a Gentleman.

_Haz._ If I should give credit to mine Eyes, that should be _Friendly_.

_Friend._ Sir, you seem a Stranger; may I take the liberty to present my Service to you? [Exit _Nell_.

_Haz._ If I am not mistaken, Sir, you are the only Man in the World whom I would soonest pledge; you’ll credit me, if three Year’s absence has not made you forget _Hazard_.

_Friend._ _Hazard_, my Friend! come to my Arms and Heart.

_Haz._ This unexpected Happiness o’erjoys me. Who could have imagin’d to have found thee in _Virginia_? I thought thou hadst been in _Spain_ with thy Brother.

_Friend._ I was so till ten Months since, when my Uncle Colonel _Friendly_ dying here, left me a considerable Plantation; and, faith, I find Diversions not altogether to be despis’d; the God of Love reigns here with as much power as in Courts or popular Cities. But prithee what Chance (fortunate to me) drove thee to this part of the new World.

_Haz._ Why, faith, ill Company, and that common Vice of the Town, Gaming, soon run out my younger Brother’s Fortune: for imagining, like some of the luckier Gamesters, to improve my Stock at the Groom Porter’s, I ventur’d on, and lost all. My elder Brother, an errant Jew, had neither Friendship nor Honour enough to support me; but at last being mollified by Persuasions, and the hopes of being for ever rid of me, sent me hither with a small Cargo to seek my Fortune--

_Friend._ And begin the World withal.

_Haz._ I thought this a better Venture than to turn sharping Bully, Cully in Prentices and Country Squires, with my Pocket full of false Dice, your high and low Flats and Bars; or turn Broker to young Heirs; take up Goods to pay tenfold at the Death of their Fathers, and take Fees on both sides; or set up all night at the Groom-Porter’s, begging his Honour to go a Guinea the better of the lay. No, _Friendly_, I had rather starve abroad, than live pity’d and despis’d at home.

_Friend._ Thou art in the right, and art come just in the nick of time to make thy Fortune.--Wilt thou follow my Advice?

_Haz._ Thou art too honest to command any thing that I shall refuse.

_Friend._ You must know then, there is about a Mile from _James-Town_ a young Gentlewoman--no matter for her Birth, her Breeding’s the best this World affords, she is married to one of the richest Merchants here; he is old and sick, and now gone into _England_ for the recovery of his Health, where he’ll e’en give up the Ghost: he has writ her word he finds no Amendment, and resolves to stay another Year. The letter I accidentally took up, and have about me; ‘tis easily counterfeited, and will be of great use to us.

_Haz._ Now do I fancy I conceive thee.

_Friend._ Well, hear me first, you shall get another Letter writ like this Character, which shall say, you are his Kinsman, that is come to traffick in this Country, and ‘tis his will you should be received into his House as such.

_Haz._ Well, and what will come of this?

_Friend._ Why, thou art young and handsome, she young and desiring; ’.were easy to make her love thee; and if the old Gentleman chance to die, you guess the rest, you are no Fool.

_Haz._ Ay, but if he shou’d return--

_Friend._ If--Why, if she love you, that other will be but a slender Bar to thy Happiness; for if thou canst not marry her, thou mayst lie with her: and, Gad, a younger Brother may pick out a pretty Livelihood here that way, as well as in _England_. Or if this fail, thou wilt find a perpetual Visiter, the Widow _Ranter_, a Woman bought from the ship by old Colonel _Ranter_; she served him half a Year, and then he marry’d her, and dying in a Year more, left her worth fifty thousand Pounds Sterling, besides Plate and Jewels: She’s a great Gallant, but assuming the humour of the Country Gentry, her Extravagancy is very pleasant, she retains something of her primitive Quality still, but is good-natur’d and generous.

_Haz._ I like all this well.

_Friend._ But I have a further End in this matter; you must know there is in the same House a young Heiress, one Colonel _Downright’s_ Daughter, whom I love, I think not in vain: her Father indeed has an implacable Hatred to me, for which reason I can but seldom visit her, and in this Affair I have need of a Friend in that House.

_Haz._ Me you’re sure of.

_Friend._ And thus you’ll have an opportunity to manage both our Amours: Here you will find occasion to shew your Courage, as well as express your Love; for at this time the _Indians_, by our ill Management of Trade, whom we have armed against our selves, very frequently make War upon us with our own Weapons; though often coming by the worst, they are forced to make Peace with us again, but so, as upon every turn they fall to massacring us wherever we lie exposed to them.

_Haz._ I heard the News of this in _England_, which hastens the new Governour’s arrival here, who brings you fresh Supplies.

_Friend._ Would he were landed, we hear he is a noble Gentleman.

_Haz._ He has all the Qualities of a Gallant Man: besides, he is nobly born.

_Friend._ This Country wants nothing but to be peopled with a well-born Race, to make it one of the best Colonies in the World; but for want of a Governour we are ruled by a Council, some of whom have been perhaps transported Criminals, who having acquired great Estates, are now become your Honour and Right Worshipful, and possess all Places of Authority; there are amongst them some honest Gentlemen, who now begin to take upon ’.m, and manage Affairs as they ought to be.

_Haz._ _Bacon_ I think was one of the Council.

_Friend._ Now you have named a Man indeed above the common Rank, by Nature generous, brave, resolv’d and daring; who studying the Lives of the _Romans_ and great Men, that have raised themselves to the most elevated Fortunes, fancies it easy for ambitious Men to aim at any pitch of Glory. I’ve heard him often say, Why cannot I conquer the Universe as well as _Alexander_? or like another _Romulus_, form a new _Rome_, and make my self ador’d?

_Haz._ Why might he not? Great Souls are born in common Men sometimes, as well as Princes.

_Friend._ This Thirst of Glory cherish’d by sullen Melancholy, I believe, was the first motive that made him in love with the young _Indian_ Queen, fancying no Hero ought to be without his Princess. And this was the reason why he so earnestly press’d for a Commission, to be made General against the _Indians_, which long was promis’d him; but they fearing his Ambition, still put him off, till the Grievances grew so high, that the whole Country flock’d to him, and beg’d he would redress them.--He took the opportunity, and led them forth to fight, and vanquishing brought the Enemy to fair Terms; but now instead of receiving him as a Conqueror, we treat him as a Traitor.

_Haz._ Then it seems all the Crime this brave Fellow has committed, is serving his Country without Authority.

_Friend._ ‘Tis so, and however I admire the Man, I am resolv’d to be of the contrary Party, that I may make an Interest in our new Governor. Thus stand Affairs, so that after you have seen Madam _Surelove_, I’ll present you to the Council for a Commission.

_Haz._ But my Kinsman’s Character--

_Friend._ He was a _Leicestershire_ younger Brother, came over with a small Fortune, which his Industry has increas’d to a thousand Pounds a year; and he is now Colonel _John Surelove_, and one of the Council.

_Haz._ Enough.

_Friend._ About it then, Madam _Flirt_ to direct you.

_Haz._ You are full of your Madams here.

_Friend._ Oh! ‘tis the greatest Affront imaginable to call a Woman Mistress, though but a retail Brandy-monger. Adieu.--One thing more, to morrow is our Country-Court, pray do not fail to be there, for the rarity of the Entertainment: but I shall see you anon at _Surelove’s_, where I’ll salute thee as my first meeting, and as an old Acquaintance in _England_--here’s Company, farewel. [Exit _Friend_.

Enter _Dullman_, _Timorous_ and _Boozer_. _Hazard_ sits
at a Table and writes.

_Dull._ Here, _Nell_--Well, Lieutenant _Boozer_, what are you for?

Enter _Nell_.

_Booz._ I am for cooling _Nants_, Major.

_Dull._ Here, _Nell_, a Quart of _Nants_, and some Pipes and Smoke.

_Tim._ And do ye hear, _Nell_, bid your Mistress come in to joke a little with us; for, adzoors, I was damnable drunk last Night, and I am better at the Petticoat than the Bottle to day. [Exit _Nell_.

_Dull._ Drunk last Night, and sick to Day! how comes that about, Mr. Justice? you use to bear your Brandy well enough.

_Tim._ Ay, your shier Brandy I’ll grant you; but I was drunk at Col. _Downright’s_ with your high Burgundy Claret.

_Dull._ A Pox of that paulter Liquor, your _English French_ Wine, I wonder how the Gentlemen do to drink it.

_Tim._ Ay, so do I, ‘tis for want of a little _Virginia_ Breeding: how much more like a Gentleman ‘tis, to drink as we do, brave edifying Punch and Brandy.--But they say, the young Noblemen now, and Sparks in _England_, begin to reform, and take it for their Mornings draught, get drunk by Noon, and despise the lousy Juice of the Grape.

Enter Mrs. _Flirt_, and _Nell_, with drink, pipes, etc.

_Dull._ Come, Landlady, come, you are so taken up with Parson _Dunce_, that your old Friends can’t drink a Dram with you.--What, no smutty Catch now, no Gibe or Joke to make the Punch go down merrily, and advance Trading? Nay, they say, Gad forgive ye, you never miss going to Church when Mr. _Dunce_ preaches,--but here’s to you. [Drinks.

_Flirt._ Lords, your Honours are pleas’d to be merry-- but my service to your Honour. [Drinks.

_Haz._ Honours! who the Devil have we here? some of the wise Council at least, I’d sooner take ‘em for Hoggerds. [Aside.

_Flirt._ Say what you please of the Doctor, but I’ll swear he’s a fine Gentleman, he makes the prettiest Sonnets, nay, and sings ‘em himself to the rarest Tunes.

_Tim._ Nay, the Man will serve for both Soul and Body; for they say he was a Farrier in _England_, but breaking, turn’d Life-guard-man, and his Horse dying, he counterfeited a Deputation from the Bishop, and came over here a substantial Orthodox. But come, where stands the Cup? Here, my service to you, Major.

_Flirt._ Your Honours are pleased,--but methinks Doctor _Dunce_ is a very edifying Person, and a Gentleman, and I pretend to know a Gentleman; for I my self am a Gentlewoman: my Father was a Baronet, but undone in the late Rebellion, and I am fain to keep an Ordinary now, Heaven help me.

_Tim._ Good lack, why, see how Virtue may be bely’d. We heard your Father was a Taylor, but trusting for old _Oliver’s_ Funeral broke, and so came hither to hide his Head.--But my service to you; what, you are never the worse?

_Flirt._ Your Honour knows this is a scandalous place, for they say your Honour was but a broken Excise-Man, who spent the King’s Money to buy your Wife fine Petticoats; and at last not worth a Groat, you came over a poor Servant, though now a Justice of the Peace, and of the Honourable Council.

_Tim._ Adz zoors, if I knew who ‘twas said so, I’d sue him for _Scandalum Magnatum_.

_Dull._ Hang ‘em, Scoundrels, hang ‘em, they live upon Scandal, and we are Scandal-proof.--They say too, that I was a Tinker, and running the Country, robb’d a Gentleman’s House there, was put into _Newgate_, got a Reprieve after Condemnation, and was transported hither; --and that you, _Boozer_, was a common Pick-pocket, and being often flogg’d at the Carts-tale, afterwards turn’d Evidence, and when the Times grew honest was fain to flie.

_Booz._ Ay, ay, Major, if Scandal would have broke our Hearts, we had not arriv’d to the Honour of being Privy-Counsellors.--But come, Mrs. _Flirt_, what, never a Song to entertain us?

_Flirt._ Yes, and a Singer too newly come ashore.

_Tim._ Adz zoors, let’s have it then.

Enter a Girl who sings, they bear the Bob.

_Haz._ Here, Maid, a Tankard of your Drink.

_Flirt._ Quickly, _Nell_, wait upon the Gentleman.

_Dull._ Please you, Sir, to taste of our Liquor.--My service to you. I see you are a Stranger, and alone; please you to come to our Table? [He rises and comes.

_Flirt._ Come, Sir, pray sit down here; these are very honourable Persons, I assure you: This is Major _Dullman_, Major of his Excellency’s own Regiment, when he arrives; this Mr. _Timorous_, Justice a Peace in _Corum_; this Captain _Boozer_, all of the honourable Council.

_Haz._ With your leave, Gentlemen. [Sits.

_Tim._ My service to you, Sir. [Drinks.
What, have you brought over any Cargo, Sir? I’ll be your Customer.

_Booz._ Ay, and cheat him too, I’ll warrant him. [Aside.

_Haz._ I was not bred to Merchandizing, Sir, nor do intend to follow the drudgery of Trading.

_Dull._ Men of Fortune seldom travel hither, Sir, to see Fashions.

_Tim._ Why, Brother, it may be the Gentleman has a mind to be a Planter; will you hire your self to make a Crop of Tobacco this Year?

_Haz._ I was not born to work, Sir.

_Tim._ Not work, Sir! Zoors, your Betters have workt, Sir. I have workt my self, Sir, both set and stript Tobacco, for all I am of the honourable Council. Not work, quoth a!--I suppose, Sir, you wear your Fortune upon your Back, Sir?

_Haz._ Is it your Custom here, Sir, to affront Strangers? I shall expect Satisfaction. [Rises.

_Tim._ Why, does any body here owe you any thing?

_Dull._ No, unless he means to be paid for drinking with us,--ha, ha, ha.

_Haz._ No, Sir, I have money to pay for what I drink: here’s my Club, my
Guinea,
[Flings down a Guinea.
I scorn to be oblig’d to such Scoundrels.

_Booz._ Hum--call Men of Honour Scoundrels. [Rise in huff.

_Tim._ Let him alone, let him alone, Brother; how should he learn Manners? he never was in _Virginia_ before.

_Dull._ He’s some Covent-Garden Bully.

_Tim._ Or some broken Citizen turned Factor.

_Haz._ Sir, you lye, and you are a Rascal.
[Flings the Brandy in his Face.

_Tim._ Adz zoors, he has spil’d all the Brandy.
[_Tim._ runs behind the Door, _Dull_, and _Booz._ strike _Hazard_.

_Haz._ I understand no Cudgel-play, but wear a Sword to right myself.
[Draws, they run off.

_Flirt._ Good Heavens! what, quarelling in my House?

_Haz._ Do the Persons of Quality in this Country treat Strangers thus?

_Flirt._ Alas, Sir, ‘tis a familiar way they have, Sir.

_Haz._ I’m glad I know it.--Pray, Madam, can you inform one how I may be furnish’d with a Horse and a Guide to Madam _Surelove’s_?

_Flirt._ A most accomplish’d Lady, and my very good Friend, you shall be immediately--

[Exeunt.

SCENE II. The Council-Table.

Enter _Wellman_, _Downright_, _Dunce_, _Whimsey_, _Whiff_, and
others.

_Well._ Come, Mr. _Dunce_, though you are no Counsellor, yet your Counsel may be good in time of Necessity, as now.

_Dun._ If I may give worthy Advice, I do not look upon our Danger to be so great from the _Indians_, as from young _Bacon_, whom the People have nick-nam’d _Fright-all_.

_Whim._ Ay, ay, that same _Bacon_, I would he were well hang’d: I am afraid that under pretence of killing all the _Indians_ he means to murder us, lie with our Wives, and hang up our little Children, and make himself Lord and King.

_Whiff._ Brother _Whimsey_, not so hot; with leave of the honourable Board, my Wife is of opinion, that _Bacon_ came seasonably to our Aid, and what he has done was for our Defence, the _Indians_ came down upon us, and ravish’d us all, Men, Women, and Children.

_Well._ If these Grievances were not redrest, we had our Reasons for it; it was not that we were insensible, Captain _Whiff_, of what we suffer’d from the Insolence of the _Indians_; but all knew what we must expect from _Bacon_, if that by lawful Authority he had arrived to so great a Command as General; nor would we be hufft out of our Commissions.

_Down._ ‘Tis most certain that _Bacon_ did not demand a Commission out of a design of serving us, but to satisfy his Ambition and his Love; it being no secret that he passionately admires the _Indian_ Queen, and under the pretext of a War, intends to kill the King her Husband, establish himself in her Heart, and on all occasions make himself a more formidable Enemy than the Indians are.

_Whim._ Nay, nay, I ever foresaw he would prove a Villain.

_Whiff._ Nay, and he be thereabout, my _Nancy_ shall have no more to do with him.

_Well._ But, Gentlemen, the People daily flock to him, so that his Army is too considerable for us to oppose by any thing but Policy.

_Down._ We are sensible, Gentlemen, that our Fortunes, our Honours, and our Lives are at stake; and therefore you are call’d together to consult what’s to be done in this Grand Affair, till our Governour and Forces arrive from _England_: the Truce he made with the _Indians_ will be out to morrow.

_Whiff._ Ay, and then he intends to have another bout with the _Indians_. Let’s have patience, I say, till he has thrumb’d their Jackets, and then to work with your Politicks as soon as you please.

_Down._ Colonel _Wellman_ has answer’d that point, good Captain _Whiff_; ’.is the Event of this Battel we ought to dread; and if won or lost, will be equally fatal for us, either from the _Indians_ or from _Bacon_.

_Dun._ With the Permission of the honourable Board, I think I have hit upon an Expedient that may prevent this Battel: your Honours shall write a Letter to _Bacon_, where you shall acknowledge his Services, invite him kindly home, and offer him a Commission for General--

_Whiff._ Just my _Nancy’s_ Counsel--Dr. _Dunce_ has spoken like a Cherubin, he shall have my Voice for General; what say you, Brother _Whimsey_?

_Down._ I say he is a Noble Fellow, and fit for a General.

_Dun._ But conceive me right, Gentlemen; as soon as he shall have render’d himself, seize him, and strike off his Head at the Fort.

_Whiff._ Hum! his Head--Brother.

_Whim._ Ay, ay, Dr. _Dunce_ speaks like a Cherubin.

_Well._ Mr. _Dunce_, your Counsel in extremity, I confess, is not amiss; but I should be loth to deal dishonourably with any Man.

_Down._ His Crimes deserve Death, his Life is forfeited by Law, but shall never be taken by my consent by Treachery: If by any Stratagem we could take him alive, and either send him for _England_ to receive there his Punishment, or keep him Prisoner here till the Governour arrive, I should agree to it; but I question his coming in upon our Invitation.

_Dun._ Leave that to me.

_Whim._ Come, I’ll warrant him, the Rogue’s as stout as _Hector_, he fears neither Heaven nor Hell.

_Down._ He’s too brave and bold to refuse our Summons, and I am for sending him for _England_, and leaving him to the King’s Mercy.

_Dun._ In that you’ll find more difficulty, Sir; to take him off here will be more quick and sudden: for the People worship him.

_Well._ I’ll never yield to so ungenerous an Expedient. The seizing him I am content in the Extremity wherein we are to follow. What say you, Colonel _Downright_? shall we send him a Letter now, while this two days Truce lasts, between him and the _Indians_?

_Down._ I approve it.

_All._ And I, and I, and I.

_Dun._ If your Honours please to make me the Messenger, I’ll use some Arguments of my own to prevail with him.

_Well._ You say well, Mr. _Dunce_, and we’ll dispatch you presently.

[Ex. _Well._ _Down._ and all but _Whim._ _Whiff._ and _Dunce_.

_Whiff._ Ah, Doctor, if you could but have persuaded Colonel _Wellman_ and Colonel _Downright_ to have hanged him--

_Whim._ Why, Brother _Whiff_, you were for making him a General but now.

_Whiff._ The Counsels of wise States-men, Brother _Whimsey_, must change as Causes do, d’ye see.

_Dun._ Your Honours are in the right; and whatever those two leading Counsellors say, they would be glad if _Bacon_ were dispatch’d: but the punctilio of Honour is such a thing.

_Whim._ Honour, a Pox on’t; what is that Honour that keeps such a bustle in the World, yet never did good as I heard of?

_Dun._ Why, ‘tis a foolish word only, taken up by great Men, but rarely practis’d.--But if you wou’d be great Men indeed--

_Whiff._ If we wou’d, Doctor, name, name the way.

_Dun._ Why, you command each of you a Company--when _Bacon_ comes from the Camp, as I am sure he will, (and full of this silly thing call’d Honour, will come unguarded too) lay some of your Men in Ambush along those Ditches by the _Sevana_, about a Mile from the Town; and as he comes by, seize him, and hang him up upon the next Tree.

_Whiff._ Hum--hang him! a rare Plot.

_Whim._ Hang him!--we’ll do’t, we’ll do’t, Sir, and I doubt not but to be made General for the Action--I’ll take it all upon my self. [Aside.

_Dun._ If you resolve upon this, you must about instantly--Thus I shall at once serve my Country, and revenge my self on the Rascal for affronting my Dignity once at the Council-Table, by calling me Farrier. [Ex. _Dr._

_Whiff._ Do you know, Brother, what we are to do?

_Whim._ To do! yes, to hang a General, Brother, that’s all.

_Whiff._ All! but is it lawful to hang any General?

_Whim._ Lawful, yes, that ‘tis lawful to hang any General that fights against Law.

_Whiff._ But in what he has done, he has serv’d the King and our Country, and preserv’d our Lives and Fortunes.

_Whim._ That’s all one, Brother; if there be but a Quirk in the Law offended in this Case, though he fought like _Alexander_, and preserv’d the whole World from Perdition, yet if he did it against Law, ‘tis lawful to hang him; why, what, Brother, is it fit that every impudent Fellow that pretends to a little Honour, Loyalty, and Courage, should serve his King and Country against the Law? no, no, Brother, these things are not to be suffer’d in a civil Government by Law establish’d,--wherefore let’s about it.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III. _Surelove’s_ House.

Enter _Ranter_ and _Jeffery_ her Coachman.

_Ran._ Here, _Jeffery_, ye drunken Dog, set your Coach and Horses up, I’ll not go till the cool of the Evening, I love to ride in _Fresco_.

Enter a _Boy_.

_Coach._ Yes, after hard drinking-- [Aside.] It shall be done, Madam.
[Exit.

_Ran._ How now, Boy, is Madam _Surelove_ at home?

_Boy._ Yes, Madam.

_Ran._ Go tell her I am here, Sirrah.

_Boy._ Who are you pray forsooth?

_Ran._ Why, you Son of a Baboon, don’t you know me?

_Boy._ No, Madam, I came over but in the last Ship.

_Ran._ What, from _Newgate_ or _Bridewell_? from shoveing the Tumbler, Sirrah, lifting or filing the Cly?

_Boy._ I don’t understand this Country Language, forsooth, yet.

_Ran._ You Rogue, ‘tis what we transport from _England_ first--go, ye Dog, go tell your Lady the Widow _Ranter_ is come to dine with her-- [Exit _Boy_.] I hope I shall not find that Rogue _Daring_ here sniveling after Mrs. _Chrisante_: If I do, by the Lord, I’ll lay him thick. Pox on him, why shou’d I love the Dog, unless it be a Judgment upon me.

Enter _Surelove_ and _Chrisante_.

--My dear Jewel, how do’st do?--as for you, Gentlewoman, you are my Rival, and I am in Rancour against you till you have renounc’d my _Daring_.

_Chris._ All the Interest I have in him, Madam, I resign to you.

_Ran._ Ay, but your House lying so near the Camp, gives me mortal Fears--but prithee how thrives thy Amour with honest _Friendly_?

_Chris._ As well as an Amour can that is absolutely forbid by a Father on one side, and pursued by a good Resolution on the other.

_Ran._ Hay Gad, I’ll warrant for _Friendly’s_ Resolution, what though his Fortune be not answerable to yours, we are bound to help one another.--Here, Boy, some Pipes and a Bowl of Punch; you know my Humour, Madam, I must smoak and drink in a Morning, or I am maukish all day.

_Sure._ But will you drink Punch in a Morning?

_Ran._ Punch! ‘tis my Morning’s Draught, my Table-drink, my Treat, my Regalio, my every thing; ah, my dear _Surelove_, if thou wou’d but refresh and cheer thy Heart with Punch in a Morning, thou wou’dst not look thus cloudy all the day.

Enter Pipes and a great Bowl, she falls to smoaking.

_Sure._ I have reason, Madam, to be melancholy, I have receiv’d a Letter from my Husband, who gives me an account that he is worse in _England_ than when he was here, so that I fear I shall see him no more, the Doctors can do no good on him.

_Ran._ A very good hearing. I wonder what the Devil thou hast done with him so long? an old fusty weatherbeaten Skeleton, as dried as Stock-fish, and much of the Hue.--Come, come, here’s to the next, may he be young, Heaven, I beseech thee. [Drinks.

_Sure._ You have reason to praise an old Man, who dy’d and left you worth fifty thousand Pound.

_Ran._ Ay, Gad--and what’s better, Sweetheart, dy’d in good time too, and left me young enough to spend this fifty thousand Pound in better Company--rest his Soul for that too.

_Chris._ I doubt ‘twill be all laid out in _Bacon’s_ mad Lieutenant General _Daring_.

_Ran._ Faith, I think I could lend it the Rogue on good Security.

_Chris._ What’s that, to be bound Body for Body?

_Ran._ Rather that he should love no body’s Body besides my own; but my fortune is too good to trust the Rogue, my Money makes me an Infidel.

_Chris._ You think they all love you for that.

_Ran._ For that, ay, what else? if it were not for that, I might sit still and sigh, and cry out, a Miracle! a Miracle! at sight of a Man within my Doors.

Enter _Maid_.

_Maid._ Madam, here’s a young Gentleman without wou’d speak with you.

_Sure._ With me? sure thou’rt mistaken; is it not _Friendly_?

_Maid._ No, Madam, ‘tis a Stranger.

_Ran._ ‘Tis not _Daring_, that Rogue, is it?

_Maid._ No, Madam.

_Ran._ Is he handsome? does he look like a Gentleman?

_Maid._ He’s handsome, and seems a Gentleman.

_Ran._ Bring him in then, I hate a Conversation without a Fellow,--hah,--a good handsome Lad indeed.

Enter _Hazard_ with a Letter.

_Sure._ With me, Sir, would you speak?

_Haz._ If you are Madam _Surelove_.

_Sure._ So I am call’d.

_Haz._ Madam, I am newly arriv’d from _England_, and from your Husband my Kinsman bring you this.-- [Gives a Letter.

_Ran._ Please you to sit, Sir.

_Haz._ She’s extremely handsome. [Aside--sits down.

_Ran._ Come, Sir, will you smoke a Pipe?

_Haz._ I never do, Madam.

_Ran._ Oh, fie upon’t, you must learn then, we all smoke here, ‘tis a part of good Breeding.--Well, well, what Cargo, what Goods have ye? any Points, Lace, rich Stuffs, Jewels; if you have, I’ll be your Chafferer, I live hard by, any body will direct you to the Widow _Ranter’s_.

_Haz._ I have already heard of you, Madam.

_Ran._ What, you are like all the young Fellows, the first thing they do when they come to a strange Place, is to enquire what Fortunes there are.

_Haz._ Madam, I had no such Ambition.

_Ran._ Gad, then you’re a Fool, Sir; but come, my service to you; we rich Widows are the best Commodity this Country affords, I’ll tell you that. [This while _Sure._ reads the Letter.

_Sure._ Sir, my Husband has recommended you here in a most particular manner, by which I do not only find the esteem he has for you, but the desire he has of gaining you mine, which on a double score I render you, first for his sake, next for those Merits that appear in your self.

_Haz._ Madam, the endeavours of my Life shall be to express my Gratitude for this great Bounty.

Enter _Maid_.

_Maid._ Madam, Mr. _Friendly’s_ here.

_Sure._ Bring him in.

_Haz._ _Friendly!_--I had a dear Friend of that name, who I hear is in these Parts.--Pray Heaven it may be he.

_Ran._ How now, _Charles_.

Enter _Friendly_.

_Friend._ Madam, your Servant--Hah! should not I know you for my dear friend _Hazard_. [Embracing him.

_Haz._ Or you’re to blame, my _Friendly_.

_Friend._ Prithee what calm brought thee ashore?

_Haz._ Fortune _de la guerre_, but prithee ask me no Questions in so good Company, where a Minute lost from this Conversation is a Misfortune not to be retriev’d.

_Friend._ Dost like her, Rogue-- [Softly aside.

_Haz._ Like her! have I sight, or sense?--Why, I adore her.

_Friend._ Mrs. _Chrisante_, I heard your Father would not be here to day, which made me snatch this opportunity of seeing you.

_Ran._ Come, come, a Pox of this whining Love, it spoils good Company.

_Friend._ You know, my dear Friend, these Opportunities come but seldom, and therefore I must make use of them.

_Ran._ Come, come, I’ll give you a better Opportunity at my House to morrow, we are to eat a Buffalo there, and I’ll secure the old Gentleman from coming.

_Friend._ Then I shall see _Chrisante_ once more before I go.

_Chris._ Go--Heavens--whither, my _Friendly_?

_Friend._ I have received a Commission to go against the _Indians_, _Bacon_ being sent for home.

_Ran._ But will he come when sent for?

_Friend._ If he refuse we are to endeavour to force him.

_Chris._ I do not think he will be forc’d, not even by _Friendly_.

_Friend._ And, faith, it goes against my Conscience to lift my Sword against him, for he is truly brave, and what he has done, a Service to the Country, had it but been by Authority.

_Chris._ What pity ‘tis there should be such false Maxims in the World, that noble Actions, however great, must be criminal for want of a Law to authorise ‘em.

_Friend._ Indeed ‘tis pity that when Laws are faulty they should not be mended or abolish’d.

_Ran._ Hark ye, _Charles_, by Heaven, if you kill my _Daring_ I’ll pistol you.

_Friend._ No, Widow, I’ll spare him for your sake.
[They join with _Surelove_.

_Haz._ Oh, she’s all divine, and all the Breath she utters serves but to blow my Flame.

Enter _Maid_.

_Maid._ Madam, Dinner’s on the Table--

_Sure._ Please you, Sir, to walk in--come, Mr. _Friendly_.
[She takes _Hazard_.

_Ran._ Prithee, good Wench, bring in the Punch-Bowl.

[Exeunt.