Chapter II: Prologue: Written by Mr Dryden

SPOKEN BY MR SMITH.

Our play's a parallel: the Holy League
Begot our Covenant: Guisards got the whig:
Whate'er our hot-brained sheriffs did advance,
Was, like our fashions, first produced in France;
And, when worn out, well scourged, and banished there,
Sent over, like their godly beggars, here.
Could the same trick, twice played, our nation gull?
It looks as if the devil were grown dull;
Or served us up, in scorn, his broken meat,
And thought we were not worth a better cheat.
The fulsome Covenant, one would think in reason,
Had given us all our bellies full of treason;
And yet, the name but changed, our nasty nation
Chews its own excrements, the Association[1].
'Tis true, we have not learned their poisoning way,
For that's a mode but newly come in play;
Resides, your drug's uncertain to prevail,
But your true protestant can never fail
With that compendious instrument, a flail[2].
Go on, and bite, even though the hook lies bare;
Twice in one age expel the lawful heir;
Once more decide religion by the sword,
And purchase for us a new tyrant lord.
Pray for your king, but yet your purses spare;
Make him not two-pence richer by your prayer.
To show you love him much, chastise him more,
And make him very great, and very poor.
Push him to wars, but still no peace advance;
Let him lose England, to recover France.
Cry freedom up, with popular noisy votes,
And get enough to cut each other's throats.
Lop all the rights that fence your monarch's throne;
For fear of too much power, pray leave him none.
A noise was made of arbitrary sway;
But, in revenge, you whigs have found a way
An arbitrary duty now to pay.
Let his own servants turn to save their stake,
Glean from his plenty, and his wants forsake;
But let some Judas near his person stay,
To swallow the last sop, and then betray.
Make London independent of the crown;
A realm apart; the kingdom of the town.
Let ignoramus juries find no traitors[3],
And ignoramus poets scribble satires.
And, that your meaning none may fail to scan,
Do what in coffee-houses you began,--
Pull down the master, and set up the man.

Footnotes:
1. The association proposed in parliament was, by the royalists, said
to be, a revival of the Solemn League and Covenant. But the draught
of an association, found in Lord Shaftesbury's cabinet, and
produced on his trial, in which that memorable engagement seems to
be pretty closely copied, was probably what our poet alludes to.

2. The protestant flail was a kind of bludgeon, so jointed as to fold
together, and lie concealed in the pocket. They are supposed to
have been invented to arm the insurgents about this period. In the
trial of Braddon and Spoke for a misdemeanor, the recorder offered
to prove, that Braddon had bragged, that "he was the only inventor
of the protestant flails; an instrument you have heard of,
gentlemen, and for what use designed." This circumstance was not
omitted by Jefferies, in his characteristic address to the
prisoner. "But oh what a happiness it was for this sort of people,
that they had got Mr Braddon, an honest man and a man of courage,
says Mr Speke, a man _a propos_! and pray, says he to his friend,
give him the best advice you can, for he is a man very fit for the
purpose; and pray secure him under a sham name, for I'll undertake
there are such designs upon pious Mr Braddon, such connivances to
do him mischief, that, if he had not had his _protestant flail_
about him, somebody or other would have knocked him on the head;
and he is such a wonderful man, that all the king's courts must
needs conspire to do Mr Braddon a mischief. A very pretty sort of
man, upon my word, and he must be used accordingly." _State
Trials_, Vol. III. p. 897. In one of the scarce medals struck by
James II. Justice is represented weighing mural crowns, which
preponderate against a naked sword, a serpent, and a protestant
flail: on each side of the figure are a head and trunk,
representing those of Argyle and Monmouth. An accurate description
of this weapon occurs in the following passage from Roger North:
"There was much recommendation of silk armour, and the prudence of
being provided with it against the time protestants were to be
massacred. And accordingly there were abundance of these silken
backs, breasts, and pots (i.e. head-pieces), made and sold, that
were pretended to be pistol proof; in which any man dressed up was
as safe as in a house, for it was impossible any one could go to
strike him for laughing. So ridiculous was the figure, as they say,
of hogs in armour; an image of derision, insensible but to the
view, as I have had it. This was armour of defence; but our sparks
were not altogether so tame as to carry their provisions no
farther, for truly they intended to be assailants upon fair
occasion, and had for that end recommended also to them a certain
pocket weapon, which, for its design and efficacy, had the honour
to be called a _protestant flail_. It was for street and
crowd-work; and the engine lying perdue in a coat pocket, might
readily sally out to execution, and by clearing a great hall, a
piazza, or so, carry an election by a choice way of polling, called
_knocking down_. The handle resembled a farrier's blood-stick, and
the fall was joined to the end by a strong nervous ligature, that
in its swing fell just short of the hand, and was made of _lignum
vitæ_, or rather, as the poet termed it, _mortis_." _Examen._ p.
572. The following is the first stanza of "The Protestant Flail; an
excellent new song, to the tune of, Lacy's Maggot, or the Hobby
Horse." It is thus labelled by Luttrell: "A bonny thing, 14 June,
1632."

Listen a while, and I'll tell you a tale
Of a new device of a protestant flail;
With a thump, thump, thump a thump.
Thump a thump, thump.
This flail it was made of the finest wood,
All lined with lead, and notable good
For splitting of bones, and shedding the blood
Of all that withstood,
With a thump, &c.

3. Shaftesbury, College, and others, were liberated by grand juries,
who refused to find bills against them, bringing in what are
technically called verdicts of _ignoramus_. It was here that the
whig sheriffs were of most consequence to their party; for by their
means the juries were picked from the very centre of the faction;
and although they included many men of eminence, both for rank and
talents, yet they were generally such as had made up their minds to
cast the bill long before they came into court. This gave great
offence to the royalists. North says, "There lay the barrier of the
faction; and that stately word (_ignoramus_) became the appellative
of the whole corrupt practice, and the infamous title of all the
persons concerned in it." In Luttrell's Collection I find,
"Ignoramus, an excellent new song, to the tune of Lay by your
Pleading, Law lies a Bleeding." 15 Dec. 1681.

At the Old Bailey,
Where rogues flock daily,
A greater rogue far than Coleman, White, or Stayley,
Was late indicted.
Witnesses cited,
But then he was set free, so the king was righted.
'Gainst princes offences
Proved in all senses,
But 'gainst a whig there is no truth in evidences;
They sham us, and flam us,
And ram us, and damn us.
And then, in spite of law, come off with ignoramus, &c.

This song, according to the invariable practice of the scribblers
on both sides, was answered by a new Ignoramus.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

_The King of France._
_Duke of_ GUISE.
_Duke of_ MAYENNE.
GRILLON, _Colonel of the Guard._
ALPHONSO CORSO, _a Colonel._
BELLEURE, _a Courtier._
ABBOT DEL BENE, } _Royalists._
M. MONFERT, }
_The Cardinal of_ GUISE. }
_Archbishop of_ LYONS. }
POLIN, }
AUMALE, } _Of Guise's_
BUSSY, } _Faction._
_The Curate of St_ EUSTACE, }
MALICORN, _a Necromancer,_ }
MELANAX, _a Spirit,_ }
_Two Sheriffs,_
_Citizens and Rabble, &c._

_Queen Mother._
MARMOUTIERE, _Niece to_ GRILLON.

SCENE,--_Paris._

THE DUKE OF GUISE.