Chapter XVII: Part II: Note I (4)

You tell us, in your preface to the "No-protestant Plot,"[473] that you shall be forced hereafter to leave off your modesty; I suppose you mean that little which is left you, for it was worn to rags when you put out this medal. Never was there practised such a piece of notorious impudence in the face of an established government. I believe, when he is dead, you will wear him in thumb-rings, as the Turks did Scanderbeg, as if there were virtue in his bones to preserve you against monarchy. Yet all this while you pretend not only zeal for the public good, but a due veneration for the person of the king. But all men, who can see an inch before them, may easily detect those gross fallacies. That it is necessary for men in your circumstances to pretend both, is granted you; for without them there could be no ground to raise a faction. But I would ask you one civil question, what right has any man among you, or any association of men, to come nearer to you, who, out of parliament, cannot be considered in a public capacity, to meet, as you daily do, in factious clubs, to vilify the government in your discourses, and to libel it in all your writings? Who made you judges in Israel? Or how is it consistent with your zeal for the public welfare, to promote sedition? Does your definition of _loyal_, which is, "to serve the king according to the laws," allow you the licence of traducing the executive power with which you own he is invested? You complain that his majesty has lost the love and confidence of his people; and by your very urging it, you endeavour what in you lies to make him lose them. All good subjects abhor the thought of arbitrary power, whether it be in one or many: if you were the patriots you would seem, you would not at this rate incense the multitude to assume it; for no sober man can fear it, either from the king's disposition, or his practice; or even where you would odiously lay it, from his ministers. Give us leave to enjoy the government and benefit of laws under which we were born, and which we desire to transmit to our posterity. You are not the trustees of the public liberty: and if you have not right to petition in a crowd,[474] much less have you to intermeddle in the management of affairs, or to arraign what you do not like; which, in effect, is every thing that is done by the king and council. Can you imagine, that any reasonable man will believe you respect the person of his majesty, when it is apparent that your seditious pamphlets are stuffed with particular reflections on him? If you have the confidence to deny this, it is easy to be evinced from a thousand passages, which I only forbear to quote, because I desire they should die and be forgotten. I have perused many of your papers; and to show you that I have, the third part of your "No-protestant Plot" is much of it stolen from your dead author's pamphlet, called the "Growth of Popery;"[475] as manifestly as Milton's "Defence of the English People" is from Buchanan, "_De jure regni apud Scotos_:" or your first Covenant, and new Association, from the Holy League of the French Guisards.[476] Any one, who reads Davila, may trace your practices all along. There were the same pretences for reformation and loyalty, the same aspersions of the king, and the same grounds of a rebellion. I know not whether you will take the historian's word, who says it was reported, that Poltrot, a Huguenot, murdered Francis Duke of Guise, by the instigations of Theodore Beza, or that it was a Huguenot minister, otherwise called a Presbyterian, (for our church abhors so devilish a tenet,) who first writ a treatise of the lawfulness of deposing and murdering kings of a different persuasion in religion; but I am able to prove, from the doctrine of Calvin, and principles of Buchanan, that they set the people above the magistrate; which, if I mistake not, is your own fundamental, and which carries your loyalty no farther than your liking. When a vote of the House of Commons goes on your side, you are as ready to observe it, as if it were passed into a law; but, when you are pinched with any former, and yet unrepealed act of parliament, you declare, that, in some cases, you will not be obliged by it. The passage is in the same third part of the "No-protestant Plot," and is too plain to be denied. The late copy of your intended association, you neither wholly justify nor condemn;[477] but as the Papists, when they are unopposed, fly out into all the pageantries of worship, but, in times of war, when they are hard pressed by arguments, lie close intrenched behind the council of Trent, so now, when your affairs are in a low condition, you dare not pretend that to be a legal combination, but whensoever you are afloat, I doubt not but it will be maintained and justified to purpose, for, indeed, there is nothing to defend it but the sword; it is the proper time to say any thing when men have all things in their power.

In the mean time, you would fain be nibbling at a parallel betwixt this association, and that in the time of Queen Elizabeth.[478] But there is this small difference betwixt them, that the ends of the one are directly opposite to the other: one, with the queen's approbation and conjunction, as head of it; the other, without either the consent or knowledge of the king, against whose authority it is manifestly designed. Therefore you do well to have recourse to your last evasion, that it was contrived by your enemies, and shuffled into the papers that were seized, which yet you see the nation is not so easy to believe as your own jury; but the matter is not difficult, to find twelve men in Newgate who would acquit a malefactor.

I have only one favour to desire of you at parting; that, when you think of answering this poem, you would employ the same pens against it, who have combated with so much success against "Absalom and Achitophel;" for then you may assure yourselves of a clear victory, without the least reply. Rail at me abundantly; and, not to break a custom, do it without wit: by this method you will gain a considerable point, which is wholly to wave the answer of my arguments.[479] Never own the bottom of your principles, for fear they should be treason. Fall severely on the miscarriages of government; for, if scandal be not allowed, you are no free-born subjects. If God has not blessed you with the talent of rhyming, make use of my poor stock, and welcome; let your verses run upon my feet; and for the utmost refuge of notorious blockheads, reduced to the last extremity of sense, turn my own lines upon me, and, in utter despair of your satire, make me satirise myself.[480] Some of you have been driven to this bay already; but, above all the rest, commend me to the non-conformist parson, who writ the "Whip and Key." I am afraid it is not read so much as the piece deserves, because the bookseller is every week crying help, at the end of his Gazette, to get it off. You see I am charitable enough to do him a kindness, that it may be published as well as printed; and that so much skill in Hebrew derivations may not lie for waste-paper in the shop: Yet, I half suspect he went no farther for his learning, than the index of Hebrew names and etymologies, which is printed at the end of some English bibles. If Achitophel signify "the brother of a fool," the author of that poem will pass with his readers for the next of kin; and perhaps, it is the relation that makes the kindness.[481] Whatever the verses are, buy them up, I beseech you, out of pity; for I hear the conventicle is shut up, and the brother of Achitophel out of service.[482]

Now, footmen, you know, have the generosity to make a purse for a member of their society, who has had his livery pulled over his ears; and even protestant socks[484] are bought up among you, out of veneration to the name. A dissenter in poetry from sense and English, will make as good a protestant rhymer, as a dissenter from the church of England a protestant parson. Besides, if you encourage a young beginner, who knows but he may elevate his style a little above the vulgar epithets of "profane, and saucy Jack," and "atheistic scribbler," with which he treats me, when the fit of enthusiasm is strong upon him; by which well-mannered and charitable expressions, I was certain of his sect before I knew his name. What would you have more of a man? He has damned me in your cause from Genesis to the Revelations; and has half the texts of both the Testaments against me, if you will be so civil to yourselves as to take him for your interpreter, and not to take them for Irish witnesses.[485] After all, perhaps, you will tell me, that you retained him only for the opening of your cause, and that your main lawyer is yet behind. Now, if it so happen he meet with no more reply than his predecessors, you may either conclude that I trust to the goodness of my cause, or fear my adversary, or disdain him, or what you please; for the short of it is, it is indifferent to your humble servant, whatever your party says or thinks of him.

FOOTNOTES:

[Footnote 470: See Note I.]

[Footnote 471: William Bower, who engraved the medal.]

[Footnote 472: See the engraving of Shaftesbury's medal where the sun breaks from a cloud over the Tower, in which he had lately been imprisoned. Dryden intimates, his head should have been placed there; and indeed the gory heads and members of Shaftesbury's adherents were shortly afterwards too common a spectacle on Tower-Hill, the Bridge, Temple-Bar, &c. Roger North mentions it as a very unpleasant part of his brother Dudley's office of sheriff, that the executioner came to him for orders, touching the disposal of the limbs of those who had suffered. "Once, while he was abroad, a cart, with some of them, came into the court-yard of his house, and frighted his lady almost out of her wits. And she could never be reconciled to the dog hangman's saying, 'he came to speak with his master." _Life of the Hon. Sir_ DUDLEY NORTH, p. 138.]

[Footnote 473: A tract, in three parts, written to prove the innocence of Shaftesbury, Colledge, and the Whigs, from the alleged machinations against the king at Oxford. The first part is said to have been written chiefly by the earl himself; the two last, by Robert Ferguson, the plotter.]

[Footnote 474: Alluding to the king's proclamation against tumultuous petitions, dated 12th December, 1679.]

[Footnote 475: A pamphlet written by Andrew Marvel, and reprinted in the State Tracts. It was published in 1677-8; and, as it traced the intrigues of the court of England with that of France, it made a great impression on the nation. I cannot help thinking, that it was upon the horror which this piece had excited for the progress of Popery, that Oates and Tongue grounded their legend, and that they found the people prepared to receive it by the previous tract of Marvel.]

[Footnote 476: See "The Defence of the Duke of Guise," and the "Postscript to the Translation of Maimbrurg's History of the League," where Dryden pursues this parallel.]

[Footnote 477: The Whig writers observed a prudent degree of ambiguity concerning the draught of the Association, found in Shaftesbury's study; for, while they endeavoured to defend the purpose and principles for which it was proposed, they insinuated, that it might possibly have been shuffled in amongst Lord Shaftesbury's papers, by the messenger who seized them. It was said, to strengthen this suspicion, that Wilson, the earl's secretary, was employed by him to indorse all the papers which the messengers seized and carried off, and that this scroll bore no such indorsement: it was even added, that Wilson himself was imprisoned, to deprive Shaftesbury of the benefit of his evidence to this point. There is, however, no reason to think the paper was not actually found in the earl's repositories.]

[Footnote 478: In 1584, there was a general association entered into by the subjects of Queen Elizabeth, for the defence of her person, supposed to be endangered by the plots of the Catholics and malcontents. Many of its most striking expressions are copied into the draught found in Shaftesbury's house. It was confirmed by act 27th of Queen Elizabeth, and cannot but be supposed as acceptable to the crown, as that of Shaftesbury would have been obnoxious.]

[Footnote 479: How literally Dryden's opponents adopted the licence here given, appears from the "Loyal Medal Vindicated," published in 1681, and addressed,

"To the Disloyal Tories.

"To all, I mean, except the author of the Medal; for he being a Tory of two editions, it seems impossible to appropriate his genius more to King Charles than Oliver Cromwell. And if Noll was so kind, though a saucy tenant, to leave him as a heriot of the muses, unto whomsoever should possess Whitehall, let none admire that he, that could so deify an usurper, does afterwards endeavour to expiate that crime by _Torifying_ the government of a legal monarch, &c. I have no more to say to him, and his Tory friends, by way of argument, but rather greet him, in conclusion, as poetically as he can pretend to deserve." The following introduction may suffice to shew how far the poetry was commensurate to the deserts of Dryden:

If nothing can the worth of men excuse,
Thus meanly blasted by a sculking muse;
If what's against humanity and sense,
Finds from the world a horrid complaisance;
If one must flout another's mould or face,
Because discretion there has ancient place;
Then let thy hireling verse such fictions raise,
As long may fatten thy desertless praise,
But may heaven stay thy much licentious pen,
When to spite faces thou shall write again,
Lest thou thy sovereign's image next should stain,
Since looks, and men, thou darest traduce for gain;
And all to allow thy forehead so much brass,
As stiles thee there a stigmatized ass.

Conclusion to Shaftesbury:

Fame must be posed, unless you shall admit
To leave your image written by your wit;
Yet still by you memoirs are so designed, }
Your medal does oblige, in which we find }
The outward graces of so firm a mind; }
Though, in this gift, best Protestants allow
They're tempted even to superstition too,
As hard 'tis such a patriot to admire,
And not than common man to grant him higher.
]

[Footnote 480: One writer was so much incensed at this challenge, as to plead it for the apology of having degraded himself by a controversy with Dryden. "I have more honourable employ, than, like a schoolboy, to cap verses, or to blemish my larger name with that of Bayes or Laureat. Only, it moved my indignation, as well as scorn, when I read his challenge to the Whigs, p. 6. of his Epistle, and the bravado extorted from me this nimble check, but just rebuke, for such arrogance, opiniatry, and petulancy, to abate, if possible, his pride, and the contempt he seems to have of the Whigs, whom the hackney laureat does so magisterially despise at such a rate, that the Tory courtiers (poor hearts, they know no better) hug and admire the imbost rhodomontade."--_Mushroom_, p. 18. How far the author's talents were equal to the purpose of chastizing Dryden, and raising the renown of Whig poetry, may be seen by some curious specimens in Note XII. on the following poem.]

[Footnote 481: As I have not as yet been able to meet with the "Whip and Key," I subjoin the account which Mr Malone has given of it: "A Whip for the Fool's Back, who styles honourable marriage a cursed confinement, in his profane poem of Absalom and Achitophel;" and this was followed, on the 18th of January, by "A Key (with the Whip) to open the mystery and iniquity of the poem called Absalom and Achitophel, shewing its scurrilous reflections on both king and kingdom." In the latter piece, which was written by the same hand as the former, the author's principal object is to show, that Dryden's Jewish names were not well chosen. As probably very few of my readers have ever seen this poem, I will add a short extract:

"How well this Hebrew name with sense doth sound,
_A fool's my brother_,[483] though in wit profound!
Most wicked wits are the devil's chiefest tools,
Which, ever in the issue, God befools.
Can thy compare, vile varlet, once hold true,
Of the loyal Lord, and this disloyal Jew?
Was e'er our English Earl under disgrace,
And, as unconscionable, put out of place?
Hath he laid lurking in his country-house,
To plot rebellions, as one factious?
Thy bog-trot bloodhounds hunted have this stag,
Yet cannot fasten their foul fangs,--they flag.
Why did'st not thou bring in thy evidence,
With them, to rectify the brave jury's sense,
And so prevent the _Ignoramus_?--nay,
Thou wast cock-sure he would be damn'd for aye,
Without thy presence;--thou wast then employ'd
To brand him 'gainst he came to be destroy'd:
'Forehand preparing for the hangman's axe,
Had not the witnesses been found so lax."

MALONE'S _Life of Dryden_, Vol. I. p. 159.

It must also be noticed, that the author of the "Whip and Key" opens his poem with the ten first lines of "Absalom and Achitophel."]

[Footnote 482: Derrick is pleased to explain "the brother of Achitophel," by favouring us with an account of Shaftesbury's brother, George Cooper, Esq. This is a remarkable instance of a knavish speech sleeping in a foolish ear. For the benefit of any person of equally obtuse intellects, it may be necessary to say, the non-conformist parson is the party meant, whom Dryden styles "brother to Achitophel," if Achitophel, according to his own derivation, be brother to a fool; and truly the commentator seems to have been of the kindred.]

[Footnote 483: _Achi_, my brother, and _tophel_, a fool.--Orig. Note.]

[Footnote 484: The epithet was still more whimsically assumed by the famous Nell Gwyn, when her carriage was beset by the mob, who took it for that of the Duchess of Portsmouth, and loaded the inmate with all the opprobrious epithets which could be applied to a Papist, or a woman; Nell at length looked out, and convinced them of their mistake, by assuring them "she was the _Protestant whore_."]

[Footnote 485: Alluding to the Irish witnesses brought against Shaftesbury, to whom the Whigs refused credit as soon as they ceased to swear on their side; a great subject of complaint to the Tories.

Poor Teague and Rory, who renewed the story,
Were babes of grace while swearing was in fashion;
But when the Whig was charged by the true Tory,
The joyner's flail did thresh them out of the nation;
Then all was gospel-proof, and now all subornation;
Against old Tony, perjured every mother's son,
And now poor Teague and Rory,
To his nation's glory,
May plot at home, and sing, O hone! O hone!
]

RECOMMENDATORY VERSES.

UPON

THE AUTHOR

OF THE FOLLOWING POEM.

Once more our awful poet arms, to engage
The threatning hydra-faction of the age:
Once more prepares his dreadful pen to wield,
And every muse attends him to the field:
By art and nature for this task designed,
Yet modestly the fight he long declined;
Forbore the torrent of his verse to pour,
Nor loosed his satire till the needful hour:
His sovereign's right, by patience half betrayed,
Waked his avenging genius to its aid.
Blest muse, whose wit with such a cause was crowned,
And blest the cause that such a champion found;
With chosen verse upon the foe he falls,
And black sedition in each quarter galls;
Yet, like a prince with subjects forced to engage,
Secure of conquest, he rebates his rage;
His fury not without distinction sheds,
Hurls mortal bolts but on devoted heads:
To less infected members gentle found,
Or spares, or else pours balm into the wound.
Such generous grace the ungrateful tribe abuse,
And trespass on the mercy of his muse;
Their wretched doggrell rhimers forth they bring,
To snarl and bark against the poet's king:
A crew, that scandalize the nation more
Than all their treason-canting priests before!
On these he scarce vouchsafes a scornful smile,
But on their powerful patrons turns his style:
A style so keen, as even from faction draws
The vital poison, stabs to the heart their cause.
Take then, great bard, what tribute we can raise;
Accept our thanks, for you transcend our praise.

TO

THE UNKNOWN AUTHOR[486]

OF THE FOLLOWING POEM,

AND THAT OF

ABSALOM AND ACHITOPHEL.

Thus pious ignorance, with dubious praise,
Altars of old, to gods unknown, did raise:
They knew not the loved Deity, they knew
Divine effects a cause divine did shew:
Nor can we doubt, when such these numbers are, }
Such is their cause, though the worst muse shall dare }
Their sacred worth in humble verse declare. }
As gentle Thames, charmed with thy tuneful song,
Glides in a peaceful majesty along;
No rebel stone, no lofty bank, does brave
The easy passage of his silent wave;
So, sacred poet, so thy numbers flow,
Sinewy, yet mild, as happy lovers woo;
Strong, yet harmonious too, as planets move,
Yet soft as down upon the wings of love.
How sweet does virtue in your dress appear!
How much more charming, when much less severe!
Whilst you our senses harmlessly beguile,
With all the allurements of your happy style;
You insinuate loyalty with kind deceit,
And into sense the unthinking many cheat:
So the sweet Thracian, with his charming lyre,
Into rude nature virtue did inspire;
So he the savage herd to reason drew,
Yet scarce so sweet, so charmingly, as you.
Oh that you would, with some such powerful charm,
Enervate Albion to just valour warm!
Whether much-suffering Charles shall theme afford,
Or the great deeds of god-like James's sword;
Again fair Gallia might be ours, again
Another fleet might pass the subject main;
Another Edward lead the Britains on,
Or such an Ossory as you did moan:
While in such numbers you, in such a strain,
Inflame their courage, and reward their pain.
Let false Achitophel the rout engage,
Talk easy Absalom to rebel rage;
Let frugal Shimei curse in holy zeal,
Or modest Corah more new plots reveal;
Whilst constant to himself, secure of fate,
Good David still maintains the royal state;
Though each in vain such various ills employs,
Firmly he stands, and even those ills enjoys;
Firm as fair Albion midst the raging main,
Surveys encircling danger with disdain.
In vain the waves assault the unmoved shore, }
In vain the winds with mingled fury roar, }
Fair Albion's beauteous cliffs shine whiter than before. }
Nor shalt thou move, though hell thy fall conspire,
Though the worse rage of zeal's fanatic fire,
Thou best, thou greatest of the British race,
Thou only fit to fill great Charles his place.
Ah wretched Britons! ah too stubborn isle!
Ah stiff-necked Israel on blest Canaan's soil!
Are those dear proofs of heaven's indulgence vain,
Restoring David and his gentle reign?
Is it in vain thou all the goods dost know, }
Auspicious stars on mortals shed below, }
While all thy streams with milk, thy lands with honey flow? }
No more, fond isle! no more thyself engaged,
In civil fury, and intestine rage,
No rebel zeal thy duteous land molest,
But a smooth calm sooth every peaceful breast,
While in such charming notes divinely sings
The best of poets, of the best of kings.

FOOTNOTES:

[Footnote 486: There seems to have been some uncertainty, both among Tories and Whigs, concerning the author of "The Medal." Settle, himself, did not recognize the hand of Dryden; for he thus expresses himself:--"I am not of opinion, that the author of "The Medal," and that of "Absalom and Achitophel," is one person, since the style and painting is far different, and their satires are of a different hue, the one being a much more slovenly beast than the other; yet, since they desire to be thought so, let the one bear the reproaches of the other."--_Preface to Medal Reversed._]

THE

MEDAL.

Of all our antic sights and pageantry,
Which English idiots run in crowds to see,
The Polish Medal[487] bears the prize alone; }
A monster, more the favourite of the town }
Than either fairs or theatres have shown. }
Never did art so well with nature strive,
Nor ever idol seemed so much alive;
So like the man, so golden to the sight,
So base within, so counterfeit and light.
One side is filled with title and with face;
And, lest the king should want a regal place,
On the reverse a Tower the town surveys,
O'er which our mounting sun his beams displays
The word, pronounced aloud by shrieval voice,
LÆTAMUR, which, in Polish, is _rejoice_;[488]
The day, month, year, to the great act are joined,
And a new canting holiday designed;
Five days he sat for every cast and look,
Four more than God to finish Adam took.
But who can tell what essence angels are?
Or how long Heaven was making Lucifer?
Oh, could the style that copied every grace,
And plowed such furrows for an eunuch face,
Could it have formed his ever-changing will,
The various piece had tired the graver's skill!
A martial hero first, with early care,
Blown, like a pigmy by the winds, to war;
A beardless chief, a rebel ere a man;
So young his hatred to his prince began.[489]
Next this,--how wildly will ambition steer!
A vermin wriggling in the usurper's ear;[490]
Bartering his venal wit for sums of gold,
He cast himself into the saint-like mould;
Groaned, sighed, and prayed, while godliness was gain,
The loudest bagpipe of the squeaking train.
But, as 'tis hard to cheat a juggler's eyes,
His open lewdness he could ne'er disguise.[491]
There split the saint; for hypocritic zeal
Allows no sins but those it can conceal:
Whoring to scandal gives too large a scope;
Saints must not trade, but they may interlope:
The ungodly principle was all the same;
But a gross cheat betrays his partner's game.
Besides, their pace was formal, grave, and slack;
His nimble wit outran the heavy pack;
Yet still he found his fortune at a stay,
Whole droves of blockheads choking up his way;
They took, but not rewarded, his advice;
Villain and wit exact a double price.
Power was his aim; but thrown from that pretence, }
The wretch turned loyal in his own defence, }
And malice reconciled him to his prince[492] }
Him, in the anguish of his soul, he served;
Rewarded faster still than he deserved.[493]
Behold him now exalted into trust;
His counsel's oft convenient, seldom just;
Even in the most sincere advice he gave,
He had a grudging still to be a knave.
The frauds, he learned in his fanatic years,
Made him uneasy in his lawful gears;
At best, as little honest as he could,
And, like white witches, mischievously good;
To his first bias longingly he leans,
And rather would be great by wicked means.
Thus framed for ill, he loosed our triple hold;
Advice unsafe, precipitous, and bold.
From hence those tears, that Ilium of our woe!
Who helps a powerful friend, forearms a foe.
What wonder if the waves prevail so far,
When he cut down the banks that made the bar?
Seas follow but their nature to invade;
But he, by art, our native strength betrayed:
So Samson to his foe his force confest,
And, to be shorn, lay slumbering on her breast.
But when this fatal counsel, found too late,
Exposed its author to the public hate;
When his just sovereign by no impious way
Could be seduced to arbitrary sway;
Forsaken of that hope, he shifts his sail, }
Drives down the current with a popular gale, }
And shows the fiend confessed without a veil.[494] }
He preaches to the crowd, that power is lent,
But not conveyed, to kingly government;
That claims successive bear no binding force;
That coronation oaths are things of course;
Maintains the multitude can never err;
And sets the people in the papal chair.
The reason's obvious,--interest never lies; }
The most have still their interest in their eyes; }
The power is always theirs, and power is ever wise. }
Almighty crowd! thou shortenest all dispute;
Power is thy essence, wit thy attribute!
Nor faith nor reason make thee at a stay;
Thou leapst o'er all eternal truths in thy pindaric way!
Athens, no doubt, did righteously decide,
When Phocion and when Socrates were tried;
As righteously they did those dooms repent;
Still they were wise, whatever way they went:
Crowds err not, though to both extremes they run;
To kill the father, and recal the son.
Some think the fools were most as times went then,
But now the world's o'erstocked with prudent men.
The common cry is even religion's test,--
The Turk's is at Constantinople best,
Idols in India, popery at Rome,
And our own worship only true at home;
And true but for the time, 'tis hard to know
How long we please it shall continue so;
This side to-day, and that to-morrow burns;
So all are God-almighties in their turns.
A tempting doctrine, plausible and new;
What fools our fathers were, if this be true!
Who, to destroy the seeds of civil war,
Inherent right in monarchs did declare;
And, that a lawful power might never cease,
Secured succession to secure our peace.
Thus property and sovereign sway at last
In equal balances were justly cast;
But this new Jehu spurs the hot-mouthed horse,
Instructs the beast to know his native force,
To take the bit between his teeth, and fly
To the next headlong steep of anarchy.
Too happy England, if our good we knew,
Would we possess the freedom we pursue!
The lavish government can give no more;
Yet we repine, and plenty makes us poor.
God tried us once; our rebel fathers fought;
He glutted them with all the power they sought,
Till, mastered by their own usurping brave,
The free-born subject sunk into a slave.
We loath our manna, and we long for quails;
Ah, what is man, when his own wish prevails!
How rash, how swift to plunge himself in ill,
Proud of his power, and boundless in his will!
That kings can do no wrong, we must believe;
None can they do, and must they all receive?
Help, heaven! or sadly we shall see an hour,
When neither wrong nor right are in their power!
Already they have lost their best defence,
The benefit of laws, which they dispense;
No justice to their righteous cause allowed,
But baffled by an arbitrary crowd;
And medals graved their conquest to record,
The stamp and coin of their adopted lord.
The man, who laughed but once to see an ass
Mumbling to make the cross-grained thistles pass,[495]
Might laugh again to see a jury chew
The prickles of unpalatable law.
The witnesses, that leech-like lived on blood,
Sucking for them were med'cinally good;
But when they fastened on their festered sore, }
Then justice and religion they forswore; }
Their maiden oaths debauched into a whore. }
Thus men are raised by factions, and decried,
And rogue and saint distinguished by their side;[496]
They rack even scripture to confess their cause,
And plead a call to preach in spite of laws.
But that's no news to the poor injured page,
It has been used as ill in every age;
And is constrained with patience all to take,
For what defence can Greek and Hebrew make?
Happy, who can this talking trumpet seize;
They make it speak whatever sense they please!
'Twas framed at first our oracle, to enquire; }
But since our sects in prophecy grow higher, }
The text inspires not them, but they the text inspire. }
London, thou great emporium of our isle,
O thou too bounteous, thou too fruitful Nile!
How shall I praise or curse to thy desert?
Or separate thy sound from thy corrupted part?
I called thee Nile; the parallel will stand:
Thy tides of wealth o'erflow the fattened land;
Yet monsters from thy large increase we find,
Engendered on the slime thou leav'st behind.
Sedition has not wholly seized on thee,
Thy nobler parts are from infection free.
Of Israel's tribes thou hast a numerous band,
But still the Canaanite is in the land;
Thy military chiefs are brave and true,
Nor are thy disenchanted burghers few;
The head is loyal which thy heart commands,
But what's a head with two such gouty hands?[497]
The wise and wealthy love the surest way,
And are content to thrive and to obey.
But wisdom is to sloth too great a slave;
None are so busy as the fool and knave.
Those let me curse; what vengeance will they urge,
Whose ordures neither plague nor fire can purge;
Nor sharp experience can to duty bring,
Nor angry heaven, nor a forgiving king!
In gospel-phrase their chapmen they betray;
Their shops are dens, the buyer is their prey:
The knack of trades is living on the spoil;
They boast even when each other they beguile.
Customs to steal is such a trivial thing,
That 'tis their charter to defraud their king.
All hands unite of every jarring sect;
They cheat the country first, and then infect.
They for God's cause their monarchs dare dethrone,
And they'll be sure to make his cause their own.
Whether the plotting jesuit laid the plan
Of murdering kings, or the French puritan,
Our sacrilegious sects their guides outgo,
And kings and kingly power would murder too.
What means their traitorous combination less,
Too plain to evade, too shameful to confess!
But treason is not owned when 'tis descried;
Successful crimes alone are justified.
The men, who no conspiracy would find,
Who doubts, but, had it taken, they had joined,--
Joined in a mutual covenant of defence,
At first without, at last against, their prince?
If sovereign right by sovereign power they scan,
The same bold maxim holds in God and man:
God were not safe, his thunder could they shun,
He should be forced to crown another son.
Thus, when the heir was from the vineyard thrown,
The rich possession was the murderer's own.[498]
In vain to sophistry they have recourse; }
By proving their's no plot, they prove 'tis worse, }
Unmasked rebellion, and audacious force; }
Which, though not actual, yet all eyes may see,
'Tis working in the immediate power to be;
For from pretended grievances they rise,
First to dislike, and after to despise;
Then, cyclop-like, in human flesh to deal,
Chop up a minister at every meal;
Perhaps not wholly to melt down the king,
But clip his regal rights within the ring,[499]
From thence to assume the power of peace and war,
And ease him, by degrees, of public care:
Yet, to consult his dignity and fame, }
He should have leave to exercise the name, }
And hold the cards while commons played the game. }
For what can power give more than food and drink,
To live at ease, and not be bound to think?
These are the cooler methods of their crime,
But their hot zealots think 'tis loss of time;
On utmost bounds of loyalty they stand, }
And grin and whet like a Croatian band, }
That waits impatient for the last command. }
Thus outlaws open villainy maintain;
They steal not, but in squadrons scour the plain;
And if their power the passengers subdue,
The most have right, the wrong is in the few.
Such impious axioms foolishly they show,
For in some soils republics will not grow:
Our temperate isle will no extremes sustain
Of popular sway, or arbitrary reign;
But slides between them both into the best,
Secure in freedom, in a monarch blest;
And though the climate, vexed with various winds,
Works through our yielding bodies on our minds,
The wholesome tempest purges what it breeds,
To recommend the calmness that succeeds.
But thou, the pandar of the people's hearts,
O crooked soul, and serpentine in arts,
Whose blandishments a loyal land have whored,
And broke the bonds she plighted to her lord;
What curses on thy blasted name will fall, }
Which age to age their legacy shall call! }
For all must curse the woes that must descend on all. }
Religion thou hast none: thy mercury
Has passed through every sect, or theirs through thee.
But what thou givest, that venom still remains,
And the poxed nation feels thee in their brains.
What else inspires the tongues, and swells the breasts,
Of all thy bellowing renegado priests,[500]
That preach up thee for God, dispense thy laws,
And with thy stum ferment their fainting cause;
Fresh fumes of madness raise, and toil and sweat,
To make the formidable cripple great?
Yet should thy crimes succeed, should lawless power
Compass those ends thy greedy hopes devour,
Thy canting friends thy mortal foes would be,
Thy God and theirs will never long agree;
For thine, if thou hast any, must be one,
That lets the world and human-kind alone;
A jolly god, that passes hours too well,
To promise heaven, or threaten us with hell;
That unconcerned can at rebellion sit,
And wink at crimes he did himself commit.
A tyrant theirs; the heaven their priesthood paints
A conventicle of gloomy sullen saints;
A heaven, like Bedlam, slovenly and sad,
Fore-doomed for souls with false religion mad.
Without a vision, poets can foreshow
What all but fools, by common sense, may know:
If true succession from our isle should fail,
And crowds profane, with impious arms, prevail,
Not thou, nor those thy factious arts engage, }
Shall reap that harvest of rebellious rage, }
With which thou flatterest thy decrepid age.[501] }
The swelling poison of the several sects,
Which, wanting vent, the nation's health infects,
Shall burst its bag, and, fighting out their way,
The various venoms on each other prey.
The presbyter, puffed up with spiritual pride,
Shall on the necks of the lewd nobles ride;
His brethren damn, the civil power defy,
And parcel out republic prelacy.
But short shall be his reign; his rigid yoke,
And tyrant power, will puny sects provoke;
And frogs and toads, and all the tadpole train,
Will croak to heaven for help from this devouring crane.
The cut-throat sword and clamorous gown shall jar,
In sharing their ill-gotten spoils of war;
Chiefs shall be grudged the part which they pretend; }
Lords envy lords, and friends with every friend }
About their impious merit shall contend. }
The surly commons shall respect deny,
And jostle peerage out with property.
Their general either shall his trust betray,
And force the crowd to arbitrary sway;
Or they, suspecting his ambitious aim, }
In hate of kings shall cast anew the frame, }
And thrust out Collatine,[502] that bore their name. }
Thus, inborn broils the factions would engage, }
Or wars of exiled heirs, or foreign rage, }
Till halting vengeance overtook our age; }
And our wild labours, wearied into rest,
Reclined us on a rightful monarch's breast.

_------Pudet hæc opprobria, vobis
Et dici potuisse, et non potuisse refelli._

FOOTNOTES:

[Footnote 487: Note I.]

[Footnote 488: Note II.]

[Footnote 489: Note III.]

[Footnote 490: Note IV.]

[Footnote 491: Note V.]

[Footnote 492: Note VI.]

[Footnote 493: Note VII.]

[Footnote 494: Note VIII.]

[Footnote 495: Crassus, according to Lucilius, only laughed once in his life, and that at the miserable joke in the text.]

[Footnote 496: Note IX.]

[Footnote 497: Note X.]

[Footnote 498: See the parable of the vineyard, in the gospel of St Matthew, chap. xxi. ver. 33.]

[Footnote 499: Note XI.]

[Footnote 500: Note XII.]

[Footnote 501: Note XIII.]

[Footnote 502: Collatinus was, after the expulsion of the Tarquins, exiled from Rome, in hatred to his surname of Rex.]

NOTES ON THE MEDAL.

Note I.

_The Polish medal._--P. 431.

It was a standing joke among the opponents of Shaftesbury, that he hoped to be chosen king of Poland at the vacancy, when John Sobieski was elected. This was probably only a revival and new edition of an improbable story, that he expected Cromwell would have made him king of England. His supposed election, its causes, and effects, are very humorously stated in a pamphlet republished among Lord Somers' Tracts, already quoted, pp. 263, 358.

The author complains ironically, that, among the advantages of court favour, which Lord Shaftesbury had renounced for his country, already enumerated by one of his adherents, he had omitted to mention a yet more dignified sacrifice:

"I suppose, there are very few in this kingdom, that do not very sensibly remember the late _inter-regnum_ in Poland, and how many illustrious candidates stood fair for the election. Sobieski, indeed, had done great things for that people; he had kept their potent enemy, the Turk, from entering any farther upon their frontier; was great and popular in the esteem and love of the best army, that, perhaps, they ever had; but, that was by much too little to entitle him to the succession of the throne, it appearing absolutely the interest of that nation, that the great Turk was not only to be beaten, but he must, in short, also be converted. And who so fit for such an enterprize as he that should be promoted to the regal authority? One that, from the high place he was to possess, might not only administer justice to them, but salvation to the greater part of Asia."--

"Upon these considerations, you may imagine quickly the eyes of the whole diet were cast upon little England, and thereupon whom so soon as the little Lord of Shaftesbury? Polish deputies were immediately sent, _post-incognito_, with the imperial crown and sceptre in a cloak-bag to him. Old Blood[503] smelled it from Bishopgate-street; and had it not been for an old acquaintance and friendship between King Anthony the Elect, for now I must call him so, and himself, I am credibly informed he had laid an ambush for it at the Cock ale-house, by Temple-Bar, where some thirty indigent bullies were eating stuffed beef, _helter-skelter_, at his charge, on purpose to stand by and assist him at carrying off the booty.

"But heaven, which I hope has ordained that no crown shall ever suffer damage for King Anthony's sake, took care to preserve this. For the sinister designs of the old Irish crown-monger being yet to be doubted, this prudent prince, as I am told, having tried and fitted it to his head, carefully sent it back again by a trusty messenger, concealed in the husk or shell of a Holland cheese, taken asunder merely for that purpose, and cemented again together by an art fit for no man to know, but a king presumptive of Poland.

"All things thus prepared, his election being carried in the diet so unanimously, and so _nemine contradicente_, that no man to this hour ever heard of it but himself, it is not to be imagined how this little Grig was transported with the thoughts of growing into a leviathan; he fancied himself the picture before Hobb's Commonwealth already; nay, he stopt up his tap, as I am told, on purpose that his dropsy might swell him big enough for his majesty, and of a sudden grew so utter an enemy to all republics and anti-monarchical constitutions, that from that hour he premeditated and laid the foundation of a worse speech than that famous one which he once uttered in our English senate--_Delenda est Carthago_.

"But now, upon deliberate and weighty consideration of the great change he was to undertake, many difficulties, and of an extraordinary nature, seemed to arise. A Protestant king being elected to a Popish kingdom, great were the debates within himself, which way he was to steer his course in the administration of his government, so as to discharge his conscience, as well in the case incumbent upon him of the souls of his people, as of the protection of their properties and persons.

"The Great Turk, you have heard before, was to be converted. Now, to bring so mighty a potentate over to the church of Rome, seemed altogether destructive of the Protestant interest, for which, he has been always so violent a champion; therefore it is resolved, Protestant, and _true Protestant_, the Ottoman Emperor must be, or nothing. But how, when that was done, to establish the same church in his dominions? There was the great question. Whereupon, after due consideration, he resolved, at his taking possession of that throne, which stood gaping for him, to carry over from hence such ministers, both of church and state, as might be proper to advise, assist, and support him in a design so pious, though so difficult."

A list is therefore made out of Shaftesbury's real or supposed adherents, with absurd Polish terminations attached to their names, to whom what the satirist deemed suitable offices in King Anthony's court, are respectively assigned. Among these, the reader will be startled to find our author himself under the following entry:

"_Jean Drydenurtziz._ Our poet laureat for writing panegyrics upon Oliver Cromwell, and libels against his present master, King Charles II. of England.

"_Tom Shadworiski._ His deputy."

From which it appears, that Dryden, at the time of this pasquinade's being written, was considered as disaffected to the court.

The joke of Shaftesbury's election to the Polish throne having been once thrown out, was echoed, and re-echoed, through an hundred ballads, till it ceased to be a joke at all. The reader must have frequently remarked such allusions; we have, for instance, the following songs:

"Dagon's Fall, or the Whigs Lament for Anthony, King of Poland." (3d February, 1682-3.)

"A New Song on the King of Poland, and the Prince of the Land of Promise."

"The Poet's Address to his most Sacred Majesty, 6th July, 1682."

The Polish prince is charmed, he scorns weak buff,
Conscience's of impenetrable stuff.

Note II.

_Lætamur, which, in Polish, is rejoice._--P. 431.

It would seem, that the followers of Shaftesbury wore the medal attached to their breast. See "A Panegyrick on their Royal Highnesses, and congratulating his return from Scotland, 1682."

Lætamur is the word, a word which late
As mighty hopes did mighty joy create;
When the famed motto with applause was put
To the effigy of the grand patriot.
Nearest their heart where late their Georges hung,
The pale-faced medal with its silver tongue
Was placed, whilst every wearer still exprest
His joy to harbour there so famed a guest:
The wretch that stamped it got immortal fame,
T'was coined by stealth, like groats at Brumichan;
While each possessor, with exalted voice,
Cries, "England's saved, and now let us rejoice."

Note III.

_A martial hero first, with early care,
Blown, like a pigmy by the winds, to war;
A beardless chief, a rebel ere a man;
So young his hatred to his prince began._--P. 432.

Dryden does not here do justice to Shaftesbury, who certainly offered Charles I. the first fruits of his courage and address. Being heir to a plentiful fortune, a member of parliament, and high sheriff of the county of Dorset, he came to Oxford when the civil war broke out, and though then only twenty-one or twenty-two years of age, presented to the king a digested plan, for compromising matters between him and his subjects in arms against him: Charles observed, he was a very young man for so great an undertaking; to which, with the readiness which marked his character, he answered, that would not be the worse for the king's affairs, provided the business was done. He had, in consequence, a commission from the king, to promise indemnity and redress of grievances to such of the parliamentary garrisons as would lay down their arms. Accordingly, his plan seems to have taken some effect; for Weymouth actually surrendered to the king, and Sir Anthony Ashley Cooper, as his stile then was, was made governor. Some delays occurred in the course of his obtaining this office; and whether disgusted with these, and giving scope to the natural instability of his temper, as is intimated by Clarendon, or offended, as Mr Locke states, at Weymouth having been plundered by Prince Maurice's forces, he made one of those sudden turns, of which his political career furnishes several instances, and went over to the other side. After this, Clarendon says, that he "gave up himself, body and soul, to the parliament, and became an implacable enemy to the royal family." He raised forces in Dorsetshire, with which he took Wareham by storm, in October 1644, and reduced the greater part of the county to the obedience of the parliament. He held various high charges under the authority of the republic. In 1645, he was sheriff of Norfolk; in 1646, sheriff of Wiltshire; and in 1651, one of that committee, which was named for the revisal and reform of the law.

Note IV.

_A vermin wriggling in the usurer's ear._--P. 432.

Shaftesbury was by no means in a hurry to submit to Cromwell's domination, any more than he had been to join the parliament; the uncontrouled authority of an individual, and of one too who was inaccessible to all arts of cajoling or management, and only acted upon his own opinions and impulses, presented to the art and ambition of our statesman a very unpromising field of exertion. Accordingly, he is said to have been active in opposing the dispossession of the long parliament; and, being a member of that convoked by the Protector in 1656, he signed the famous protestation against the personal usurpation of Cromwell, which occasioned a very sudden dissolution of that assembly. But notwithstanding this occasional opposition, he sat in all Cromwell's parliaments, was a member of his privy council, and was so far in his favour, that he is said by his enemies to have nourished hopes of succeeding him in his power, with which view he aimed to become his son-in-law. Hence he is called, in the "Dream of the Cabal,"

"A little bob-tailed lord, urchin of state,
A _praise-god-bare-bone_ peer, whom all men hate."
_State Poems_, Vol. I. p. 148.

Note V.

_He cast himself into the saint-like mould;
Groaned, sighed, and prayed, while godliness was gain,
The loudest bagpipe of the squeaking train.
But, as 'tis hard to cheat a juggler's eyes,
His open lewdness he could ne'er disguise._--P. 432.

According to North, the Earl of Shaftesbury, "in all his ways and workings, held a concert with the antimonarchists and fanatics."[504] As to his dissipation, the well-known speech of Charles II., and his reply, are sufficient evidence. "I believe, Shaftesbury," said the gay monarch, "thou art the wickedest dog in England." "May it please your majesty," retorted the statesman, "of a _subject_ I believe I am." North, the recorder of all that was evil concerning him, says, "whether out of inclination, custom, or policy, I will not determine, it is certain, he was not behind hand with the court in the modest pleasures of the time, and to what excess of libertinism they were commonly grown, is no secret. There was a deformed old gentleman, called Sir Paul Neal, who, they say, sat for the picture of Sydrophel, in Hudibras; and about town was called the Lord Shaftesbury's groom, because he watered his mares (I forbear the vulgar word) in Hyde Park, with Rhenish wine and sugar, and not seldom a bait of cheese-cakes."[505]

Note VI.

_Power was his aim; but thrown from that pretence,
The wretch turned loyal in his own defence,
And malice reconciled him to his prince._--P. 432.

Whatever Sir Anthony Ashley Cooper's private political principles might be, he failed not to take a share of power upon the changes which so rapidly succeeded the death of Cromwell. Under the Rump parliament, he was one of the council of state, and a commissioner for managing the army, one of the committee to secure the Tower, and colonel of a regiment of horse. He made use of the influence which these situations afforded him, for hastening the Restoration. Sir Anthony had long held a secret correspondence with the loyal party, and was to have joined Sir George Booth at his rising, had he not been so suddenly crushed.[506]

He was taxed with this intended co-operation in parliament; but he was at least resolved not to bear witness against himself, for he made the highest professions of his innocence, and imprecated God's judgments on him and his posterity, if he had the slightest communication with the king, or his friends:[507] Nevertheless, he was one of those who invited Monk into England; was the first to supply him with a regiment of horse; was active in defeating the schemes of Lambert; and, in conclusion, was named one of the twelve members, who were deputed by the House of Commons to invite the king to return to his dominions.