Chapter XII: Part VII (5)

Saturday, August 16. [At Charlestown.] It being a day kept by the people, as preparatory to the Lord’s supper, I tarried, heard Mr. Treat preach; and then preached myself. God helped me to discourse with warmth, and application, to the conscience. Afterwards I was refreshed in spirit, though much tired; and spent the evening agreeably in prayer, and Christian conversation.

Monday, August 18. I rode on my way towards Paxton, upon Susquahannah-river, but felt my spirits sink, towards night.

Tuesday, August 19. I rode forward still; and at night lodged by the side of Susquahannah.

Wednesday, August 20. Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I coughed much blood this morning; but I had a secret hope that I might speedily get a dismission from earth, and all its sorrows. I rode this day to one Chambers’s, upon Susquahannah, and there lodged, but was much afflicted, in the evening, with an ungodly crew, drinking and swearing. Oh, what a _hell_ would it be, to be numbered with the _ungodly_!

Thursday, August 21. I rode up the river about fifteen miles, and there lodged, in a family that appeared quite destitute of God. I laboured to discourse with the man about the life of religion, but found him very artful in evading it. Oh, what a death it is to some, to hear of _the things of God_!

Friday, August 22. I continued my course up the river: my people now being with me, who before were parted from me; travelled above all the English settlements; at night, lodged in the open woods, and slept with more comfort, than while among an ungodly company of white people.

Lord’s-day, August 24. Towards noon I visited some of the Delawares, and discoursed with them about Christianity. In the afternoon I discoursed to the _King_, and others, upon divine things, who seemed disposed to hear. I spent most of the day in these exercises. In the evening I enjoyed some comfort: especially in secret prayer: so that I loved to walk abroad and repeatedly engage in it.

Monday, August 25. I sent out my people to talk with the Indians, and contract a familiarity with them. Some good seemed to be done by their visit this day, and divers appeared willing to hearken to Christianity.

Tuesday, August 26. About noon I discoursed to a considerable number of Indians: I was enabled to speak with much plainness, warmth, and power. The discourse had impression upon some, and made them appear very serious.

Wednesday, August 27. There having been a thick smoak, in the house where I lodged, I was this morning distressed with pains in my head and neck. In the morning the smoak was still the same: and a cold easterly storm gathering, I could neither live within doors nor without long together; I was pierced with the rawness of the air abroad, in the house distressed with the smoak. I this day lived in great distress, and had not health enough to do any thing to purpose.

Thursday, August 28. I was visited by some who desired to hear me preach: and discoursed to them in the afternoon, with some fervency, and laboured to persuade them to _turn to God_. *I scarce ever saw more clearly, that it is God’s _work_ to convert souls, I knew I could not touch them, I saw I could only speak to _dry bones_, but could give them no sense of what I said. My eyes were up to God for help: I could say, the _work_ was _his_.

Friday, August 29. I travelled to the Delawares, found few at home: felt poorly, but was able to spend some time alone in reading God’s word and in prayer.

Lord’s-day, August 31. I spake the word of God, to some few of the Susquahannah Indians. In the afternoon, I felt very weak and feeble. Oh, how heavy is my work, when _faith_ cannot take hold of an _almighty arm_, for the performance of it!

Monday, September 1. I set out on a journey towards a place called _The great island_, about fifty miles distant from Shaumoking, in the north western branch of Susquahannah. At night I lodged in the woods. I was exceeding feeble, this day, and sweat much the night following.

Tuesday, September 2. I rode forward; but no faster than my people went on foot. I was so feeble and faint, that I feared it would kill me to lie out in the open air; and some of our company being parted from us, so that we had now no axe with us, I had no way but to climb into a young pine tree, and with my knife to lop the branches, and so made a shelter from the dew. I sweat much in the night, so that my linen was almost wringing wet all night. I scarce ever was more weak and weary than this evening.

Wednesday, September 3. I rode to Delaware town; and found divers drinking and drunken. I discoursed with some of the Indians about Christianity; observed my _interpreter_ much engaged in his work; some few persons seemed to hear with great earnestness. About noon I rode to a small town of Shawwannoes, about eight miles distant; spent an hour or two there, and returned to the Delaware town. Oh what ♦a dead, barren, unprofitable wretch did I now see myself to be! My spirits were so low, and my bodily strength so wasted, that I could do nothing at all. At length being much overdone I lay down on a _buffalo-skin_; but sweat much the whole night.

♦ duplicate word “a” removed

Thursday, September 4. I discoursed with the Indians about Christianity; my _interpreter_, afterwards, carrying on the discourse to a considerable length: some few appeared well disposed, and somewhat affected. I left this place, and returned to Shaumoking; and at night lodged in the place where I lodged the Monday night before: but my people being belated did not come to me till past ten at night; so that I had no fire to dress any victuals, or to keep me warm; and I was ♦scarce ever more weak and worn out in my life.

♦ “sarce” replaced with “scarce”

Friday, September 5. I was so weak, that I could scarcely ride: it seemed sometimes as if I must fall off from my horse: however, I got to Shaumoking towards night, and felt thankfulness, that God had so far returned me.

Saturday, September 6. I spent the day in a very weak state; coughing and spitting blood, and having little appetite to any food I had with me: I was able to do very little, except discourse awhile of divine things to my own people, and to some few I met with.

Monday, September 8. I spent the forenoon among the Indians; in the afternoon, left Shaumoking, and returned down the river a few miles. I had proposed to have tarried a considerable time longer among the Indians upon Susquahannah; but was hindered by the weakly circumstances of my own people, and especially my own extraordinary weakness, having been exercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a coughing up of blood, in almost the whole of the journey. I was a great part of the time so feeble and faint, that it seemed as though I never should be able to reach home; and at the same time destitute of the comforts, yea the necessaries of life; at least what was necessary for one in so weak a state. In this journey I sometimes was enabled to speak the word of God with power, and divine truths made some impression on divers that heard me; so that several, both men and women, old and young, seemed to cleave to us, and be well disposed towards Christianity; but others mocked and shouted, which damped those who before seemed friendly. Yet God at times, was evidently present, assisting me, my interpreter, and other dear friends who were with me in prayer for the ingathering of souls there; and I could not but entertain a strong hope, that the journey would not be wholly fruitless.

Tuesday, September 9. I rode down the river, near thirty miles, was extreme weak, much fatigued, and wet with a thunder storm. I discoursed with some warmth and closeness to some poor ignorant souls, on the life and power of religion. They seemed much astonished, when they saw my Indians ask a blessing, and give thanks at dinner: concluding that a very high evidence of grace in them; but were more astonished, when I insisted that neither that, nor yet secret prayer, was any sure evidence of grace. Oh the ignorance of the world! How are some empty outward forms, mistaken for true religion.

Wednesday, September 10. I rode near twenty miles homeward; and was much solicited to preach, but was utterly unable. I was extremely over done with the heat and showers, and coughed up considerable quantities of blood.

Thursday, September 11. I rode homeward: but was very weak, and sometimes scarce able to ride, I had a very importunate invitation to preach at a meeting house I came by, but could not by reason of weakness. I was resigned under my weakness; but was much exercised for my companions in travel, whom I had left with much regret, some lame, and some sick.

Friday, September 12. I rode about fifty miles; and came just at night to a Christian friend’s house, about twenty-five miles westward of Philadelphia. I was kindly entertained, and found myself much refreshed in the midst of my weakness and fatigues.

Lord’s-day, September 14. I preached both parts of the day (but short) from Luke xiv. 23. God gave me freedom and warmth in my discourse; and helped me to labour in singleness of heart. I was much tired in the evening, but was comforted with the most tender treatment I ever met with in my life. My mind through the whole of this day, was exceeding calm; and I could ask for nothing but that “the will of God might be done.”

Wednesday, September 17. I rode into Philadelphia, but was very weak, and my cough and my spitting of blood continued.

Saturday, September 20. I arrived among my own people: found them praying together: went in, and gave them some account of God’s dealings with me and my companions in the journey. I then prayed with them, and the divine presence was among us; divers were melted into tears. Being very weak, I was obliged soon to repair to my lodgings. Thus God has carried me through the fatigues and perils of another journey to Susquahannah, and returned me again in safety, though under a great degree of bodily indisposition. Many hardships and distresses I endured in this journey: but the Lord supported me under them all.