Chapter II: Front Matter (2)

1. JANE COOPER was born at _Hingham_, in the county of _Norfolk_, in the year 1738. Her father died when she was very young, and some time after, her mother married again. She was a daughter of affliction from her childhood; her father-in-law meeting with many misfortunes: But rather than be burdensome to any, when she was about twenty years of age, she chose to go out to service. For this purpose she came to _London_, and undertook to do all work in a small family. What sweetened all her labour was, that she had frequent opportunities of hearing what she believed to be the pure gospel. But after some months, she judged it best to leave this place, though much against the desire of her master. She then lived with a gentlewoman in _Pall-mall_, who for a considerable time, used her more like a companion than a servant. Her mistress afterwards removing to _Brentford_, she remained with her till spring 1762, though exceedingly to the prejudice of her health, which continually decayed. When she quitted _Brentford_, finding her strength so entirely lost that she was no longer capable of service, she hired a lodging in _London_, by the advice of her friends, designing to work plain-work: but before she settled, she took a journey into _Norfolk_, to visit her friends and relations. Part of the time she was in the country was spent at _Norwich_, where she indeed “lived as an angel here below,” comforting the sick and afflicted, supporting the weak, lifting up the hands that hung down, confirming the wavering, and in every possible way _ministering to the heirs of salvation_.

2. Of her spiritual experience during this time, we have no account, but in some of her letters, and in her diary: part of which runs thus: (it is dated _January 16, 1762_.)

“I received peace in believing four years ago. For some time after, I felt no sin, and thought I never should any more. How far it was owing to my unfaithfulness, I cannot tell; but it was not long, before I found my inward parts were very wickedness. I was amazed to feel, that notwithstanding this, I loved him who died for _me_, that I still retained my confidence in God, and had the witness in myself, that I was a child of God. But with all I thought, I should always have a carnal mind, which would sometimes be at _enmity with God_.

“In this belief I continued, till about two years ago God brought me to hear the _whole_ gospel. Not long after, those words were continually on my mind, _Once have I heard, yea twice hath God spoken, that power belongeth unto God_; and I was deeply convinced, that I had in effect denied his power. Even after I had tasted his love, I limitted the Holy One of _Israel_: and from this time I began to plead the promises of sanctification; but I still set them at a distance, supposing the accomplishment of them to be afar off.

“In _March_ following I heard a letter read from one, who had entered into the rest of the people of God. It described a happiness in religion, which I was a stranger to: I was much stirred up to seek after it, and was determined to wrestle with God till I prevailed. One day in prayer, that promise was applied, _The Lord whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple_. From that time, I expected him in every means I used, to come and destroy the works of the devil. I was agonizing with God in family prayer, when he gave me power to venture upon Jesus, as of God _made unto me wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption_. He spoke into my heart, ‘The Lord, even the king of _Israel_, is in the midst of thee; _and the enemies thou hast seen this day, thou shalt see them no more for ever_.’ From this time I have rejoiced indeed, and yet loathed myself in my own sight. I feel no desire but to please him, and know of nothing in me that is not subjected to Jesus: I depend upon him every moment, as my advocate with the Father: I daily feel my coming short of what I would be, yet without any condemnation. The blood of sprinkling speaks me clean. Indeed if I could perform the obedience I desire, I should still be ashamed before him.”

3. In the midst of various outward trials, her soul was now kept as a watered garden. She was _satisfied with the favour, and full blessing of the Lord_: she enjoyed deep communion with God, and that without any interruption: she sought for and found direction from him in every circumstance of life. She truly proved him to be her counsellor, who instructed her by his small still voice. She walked continually in his presence, and felt her soul always approved of him. She used to say, “Would Jesus on this or the other occasion, have acted or spoken thus?” And this rule she steadily copied after, in all her life and conversation. She knew a little of what our Lord meant, when he said, _The Father which dwelleth in me, he doth the works_. To his will she was entirely given up, in sickness and health, ease and pain.

4. In the beginning of _November_, she seemed to have a foresight of what was coming upon her, and used frequently to sing these words:

“When pain o’er this weak flesh prevails,
With lamb-like patience arm my breast.”

And when she sent to let me know she was ill, she wrote in her note, “I suffer the will of Jesus. All he sends is sweetened by his love. I am as happy as if I heard a voice say,

For me my elder brethren stay,
And angels beckon me away,
And Jesus bids me come.”

5. Upon my telling her, “I can’t chuse life or death for you,” she said, “I asked the Lord, that if it was his will, I might die first; and he told me, you should survive me, and that you should close my eyes.” When we perceived it was the small-pox, I said to her, “My dear, you won’t be frighted, if we tell you what is your distemper.” She said, “I _can’t_ be frighted at _his_ will.”

6. The distemper soon was very heavy upon her: but so much the more was her faith strengthened. Tuesday, _November 16_. She said to me, “I have been worshipping with you before the throne in a glorious manner, my soul was so let into God.” I said, “Did the Lord give you any particular promise?” “No, replied she; it was all

That sacred awe that dares not move,
And all the silent heaven of love.”

7. Wednesday 17. Mrs. _C._ said to her, “Is there any thing you think me particularly deficient in?” She answered, “No, love. He will guide you by his eye, and be your only counsellor. All around you is God and heaven. You little know how dearly Jesus loves you.” To Mr. _M._ she said, “I thank God for your preaching. You must still preach simple faith. Man will despise you, but God will love you; and yourself must _believe_.” On Thursday, upon my asking, “What have you to say to me?” She said, “Nay, nothing but what you know already; God is love.” I asked, “Have you any particular promise?” She replied, “I don’t seem to want any. I can live without. I shall die a lump of deformity, but shall meet you all glorious; and mean time, I shall still have fellowship with your spirit.”

8. When Mr. _M――――_ came again, he asked, “What she thought the most excellent _way_ to walk in, and what were its chief _hindrances_?” She answered, “The greatest _hindrance_ is generally from the natural constitution. It was mine, to be reserved, to be very quiet, to suffer much, and to say little. Some may think one _way_ more excellent, and some another. But the thing is, to live in the will of God. For some months past, when I have been peculiarly devoted to this, I have felt such a guidance of his Spirit, and _the unction which I have received from the Holy One, has so taught me of all things_, that I _needed not any man should teach me, save as this anointing teacheth_.”

“When you speak upon acquaintance with Jesus, it is food to the soul. And when you preach of devotedness to God, and living to him, it is the joy of one’s heart.” He asked, “Have you any conviction you shall die?” She answered, “No: only from the disorder. But I feel his will so precious to me, that it is impossible for me to chuse.” He said, “We leave you in our Lord’s hands.” She said, “We shall meet above. I have no doubt of it.”

9. On Friday morning, she said, “I believe I shall die.” She then sat up in her bed, and said, “Lord, I bless thee, that thou art ever with me, and all thou hast is mine. Thy love is greater than my weakness, greater than my helplessness, greater than my unworthiness. Lord, thou _sayest to corruption, thou art my sister_! And glory be to thee, O Jesus, thou art my brother! Let me _comprehend with all saints, the length, and breadth, and depth, and heighth of thy love_! Bless these: (some that were present) Let them be every moment exercised in all things, as thou wouldst have them to be.”

10. Some hours after, it seemed as if the agonies of death were just coming upon her. But her face was full of smiles of triumph, and she clapped her hands for joy. Mrs. _C._ said, “My dear, you are more than conqueror, through the ‘blood of the lamb’.” She answered, “Yes, O yes, sweet Jesus. O death, where is thy sting?” She then lay as in a doze for some time. Afterwards she strove to speak, but could not. However she testified her love, by shaking hands with all in the room. Then she took Miss _M――――_’s hand, with Mrs. _C._ and Mrs. _D――――_’s, and put them to her heart.

11. The apothecary soon came in. She strove to speak to him, but had not utterance. One asked of the Lord, to give her power to speak; and in a few moments she spoke distinctly. Immediately she exhorted him to believe. He said, “I hope I do.” “Do you then, replied she earnestly, find in Christ all you want? You may. And I want you to be happy _now_. Why won’t you believe, when Christ has given all his divinity to save you?” He started, and said, “I hope I shall.” “Hope! said she, that is not the thing. _The hope of the hypocrite shall perish._ Indeed you are not an hypocrite. Yet unless you are on the rock, when the winds and floods come, your building will not stand.”

*12. Mr. _W._ then came. She said, “Sir, I did not know that I should live to see you. But I am glad the Lord has given me this opportunity, and likewise power to speak to you. I love you. You have always preached the _strictest_ doctrine. And I loved to follow it. Do so still, whoever is pleased or displeased.” He asked, “Do you now believe you are saved from sin?” She said, “Yes. I have had no doubt of it for many months. That I ever had, was because I did not abide in the faith. I now feel, I have kept the faith: and _perfect love casteth out all fear_.” Mr. _W._ said, “Loving faith is all.” She answered, “Ah Sir, I never had a grain of faith but what brought love, and I never had any love but by faith. As to you, the Lord promised me, your latter works should exceed your former, though I do not live to see it.” He said, “Perhaps the Lord may restore you.” She said, “His will be done. I have been a great _Enthusiast_ (as they term it) these six months; but never lived so near the heart of Christ in my life. You, Sir, desire to comfort the hearts of thousands. Comfort the hearts of hundreds, by following that simplicity your soul loves.”

13. To one who received the love of God under her prayer, she said, “I feel I have not followed a cunningly devised fable; for I am as happy as I can live. Do you press on, and stop not short of the mark.” To Miss _M――――s_, she said, “Love Christ, he loves you. I believe I shall see you at the right hand of God. But _as one star differs from another star in glory, so shall it be in the resurrection_. I charge you, in the presence of God, meet me at that day all glorious within. Avoid all conformity to the world. You are robbed of many of your privileges. I know, I shall be found blameless. Do _you_ labour to be found of him in peace, without spot.”

14. Saturday morning, she prayed nearly as follows. “I know, Lord, my life is prolonged, only to do thy will; and though I should never eat or drink more, (she had not swallowed any thing for near eight and twenty hours) thy will be done. I am willing to be kept so a twelve-month: _Man liveth not by bread alone_. I praise thee, that there is not a shadow of _complaining in our streets_. In that sense we know not what sickness means. Indeed, Lord, _neither life, nor death, nor things present, nor things to come, no nor any creature shall separate us from thy love one moment_. Bless these, that there may be no lack in their souls. I believe there shall not. I pray in faith.”

*On Sunday and Monday she was light-headed, but sensible at times. It then plainly appeared her heart was still in heaven. One said to her, “Jesus is your mark.” She replied, “I have but one mark. I am all spiritual.” Miss _M._ said to her, “You dwell in God.” She answered, “Altogether.” A person asked her, “Do you love _me_?” She said, “O, I love Christ: I love my Christ. Jesus is precious, very precious indeed.” She said to Miss _M._ “The Lord is very good. He keeps my soul above all.” For fifteen hours before she died, she was in strong convulsions. Her sufferings were extreme. One said, “You are made perfect through sufferings.” She said, “More and more so.” After lying quiet some time, she said, “Lord, thou art strong!” Then pausing a ♦considerable space, she uttered her last words, “My Jesus is all in all to _me_: glory be to him through time and eternity.” After this she lay still for about half an hour, and then expired without a sigh or groan.

♦ “conderable” replaced with “considerable”

LETTERS wrote by
JANE COOPER.

LETTERS _to_ Mrs. M. M.

_August 29, 1757._

I SINCERELY rejoice, to find you are convinced of a most important, but self-abasing truth, that you are _yourself_ utterly unable to work out your own salvation, or to form so much as one good thought, or one desire towards it. Rest not in this conviction, but seek, ask, knock: and you shall assuredly obtain that faith which is the gift of God. Give me leave to repeat, that religion consists, first, in a true knowledge of our want of Christ: Secondly, in knowing him to be not only the Saviour of the world, but _our_ Saviour in particular; in knowing him to have died for _us_, that we might live through _him_. There is a great difference between this scheme of religion, and that we form to ourselves when we begin to desire eternal happiness. I then thought I must refrain from evil works, and be constant at church. And I should doubtless go to heaven, though I walked not in a narrow, but much frequented way. I saw not that Christ alone was the way to heaven; but though I could not but see my works were insufficient, yet I hoped God would accept this patch-work obedience, and supply what was wanting. Beware of building _your_ hopes on this sandy foundation. Seek, but seek forgiveness and acceptance with God, through him who is the rock of ages. Let him not go until he bless you. For there is no safety but in his friendship, and no peace but in his favour.

May every blessing attend my dear friend. Wherever her abode is, she has a place in my heart.

* * * * *

_November 9._

*DON’T you think me cruel, that I can rejoice to see you under the cross? I believe both our souls would wither, did not the rough wind rise to blow away the dust from our branches. When this is done, how salutary is the rain of grace, how refreshing the beams of love! I am persuaded there is not one tree of the Lord’s planting, but must be purged, that it may bring forth much fruit. If you have been on the mount with _Peter_, _James_, and _John_, remember that was not the only proof our Lord gave them of his peculiar love: they, and they only were admitted to _Gethsemane_. Think on this, my dear friend, when you are under the cross, and wonder at the grace that calls, and that enables you to drink of that cup, and to have some fellowship with Christ in his sufferings. I believe your heart and mine have said,

“No cross, no suffering I decline:
Only let all my heart be thine.”

This was recorded in the courts above, and is answered as we are able to bear. Look not so much at the trial, as at the grace which keeps you from sinking under it. You may be greatly oppressed: but omnipotence shall undertake for you. The enemy may thrust sore at you that you may fall: but claim _his_ help who can and will deliver you. The floods of temptation may seem ready to overflow your soul. _But the Lord sitteth above the water-floods, and remaineth a King for ever. He shall give strength to his people; the Lord shall give his people the blessing of peace._ Fear not then, thou worm in thine own eyes. Since thou hast been precious, being bought with blood, thou art fair in his sight, who yet is of purer eyes than to behold iniquity. Therefore he sits as a refiner’s fire, and as fuller’s soap, on the souls of his people.

I feel Jesus near: he is better to me than I could ask or think. May your spirit find him nigh at this hour, and to the end of your warfare!

* * * * *

_London._

*YOUR letter came in an acceptable time: I feared you would not write so soon, and the thought pained me. I found such union of heart with you last week, as it is pleasing pain to experience. I looked upon your’s as an answer to prayer. The Lord generally causes me to ask for a letter before it comes: how shall I speak his praise? He is indeed Immanuel: and what can we ask more? That we may each moment feel his power in our hearts, and testify to all, that God is with us. But what are we, that God should dwell on earth! I am lost in the enquiry. And will God make a sinner happy? Or what is the same thing, will he make us holy? He will, our hearts cry out, he will! We shall be filled with the fulness of his love. He knows I pant, I thirst to prove this, to know more fully the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ: the Lord lets me drink of the brook in the way, before I reach the fountain-head. And I feel love to you, such love as only friendship knows, animated by the love of God.

I am better in body, but I believe the days of my appointed time are short. O blessed prospect beyond the grave! There I shall see him face to face! Help me by your prayers to keep the bright prize in view, that I may be ever running toward the mark. Jesus direct us to aim aright, and keep us from swerving aside into crooked paths!

Let me recommend much prayer to you: not only that praying frame of mind, which a Christian should continually possess, but frequent acts of secret prayer. And not only pray, but wait and expect the answer. I long, I love to hear, that you are sinking deeper in the knowledge of yourself, and rising higher in the love of God.

If I had time I should give you a week’s journal. Sunday se’nnight I received the sacrament from Mr. _Madan_. It was indeed the communion of the body and blood of Christ. His banner over me was love. I was constrained to say, How plentiful is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for the sons of men!

I hear frequent mention of persons who have great grace; some of whom are called _perfect_. I do not much like the term: but I am persuaded, the only way to overcome sin, and to inherit all things, is by enjoying uninterrupted communion with our God. I found something of this on Monday, and was much refreshed with the presence of the Lord. But on Tuesday I found my heart ready to depart from the living God. Yet I had reason to wonder and adore the grace that would not let me go. On Thursday I heard Mr. _Whitefield_, and had cause to rejoice with reverence. On Friday night a watch was kept at the Foundery, and I found the promise literally fulfilled, _They that trust in the Lord shall renew their strength_. Indeed his mercies are so oft repeated, that if I had not the most ungrateful heart, I should be always praising him. But I often find such an inward contest with pride, self-will, impatience, and all the legion which is contrary to the mind of Christ, that I groan being burthened: Yet I am persuaded, he can save to the uttermost, and believe he will save even me. Even now my soul rejoices in hope. He will perfect what is lacking in either of our spirits. O trust him with all your heart! Lean not to your own understanding. Believe the Lord; so shall you prosper. Be vigilant in all things; so shall you disappoint our enemy, and bring glory to our everlasting friend. Unto his protection I commit you, until the day we meet to part no more.

* * * * *

_May 6, 1760._

I AM glad you are so conscious of danger. It is necessary to be exceedingly afraid of our hearts departing from the living God; this never goes without correction: and though these chastisements are proofs of his love, yet beware you do not bring them upon yourself.

I look upon your being at that place, as a very particular providence; yet I feel for you. I know many of nature’s latent mazes will be discovered to you. Perhaps the cause and the effects will pain you. And what shall I say to comfort my friend? I cannot give the waters of consolation: such power belongs unto God only. O may he undertake for you in every hour of oppression! You may this moment find relief, by looking to an exalted Redeemer. I have been asking, that we might drink deep into the spirit of a crucified Saviour. Indeed I knew not the depth of what I asked: Lord, make us strong, to bear the answer of our request! Make us esteem it our greatest privilege, to taste that cup of which thou drankest so largely! Only saying with thee, _If it may not pass from me, Father, thy will be done_.

It is his absolute promise, _From all your idols will I cleanse you_; and your heart hath said, Amen! Do you now retract your petition? Do you not rather say still, in spite of nature’s struggle, “Let all my heart be thine?” Is your _Isaac_ called for? Ascend the mount, bid all things contrary to resignation stay behind. Have you endeavoured to do this, and are you still interrupted by the birds of prey? Are you still molested, when you would offer the sacrifice which God requires? O watch and keep off those enemies to your peace! And he that is your peace shall give you power.

Yes, “when your all of strength doth fail,
You shall with the God-man prevail.”

He loves, he pities you, he requires your heart. And he is worthy to have it. O may he now reign therein, the Lord of every motion there!

Jesus has not left me comfortless. He still sustains me with his grace. May he bring us through this wilderness, to meet and part no more!

* * * * *

_December 4._

I KNOW not whether the providence of God will ever permit me to see you again. But I can leave it to him, in sure hopes that I shall meet your happy spirit, in the realms of endless day. There we shall surely exult in a Redeemer’s presence. We shall see him as he is. And indeed when I have a view, though a transient one, of the glory which shall be revealed, I am almost impatient of delay. I am ready to cry out, Why are thy chariot wheels so long in coming? I want leave to go hence, and be no more seen as an inhabitant of the earth. This has been for some time past my habitual desire. I cannot help being glad at night, that one day more of my allotted portion is past, and eternity is nearer to me than when I first believed. Yet at the same time, I have reason to be ashamed before the Lord, that I do not live to his glory. I do not love him with all my heart and strength; so far from it, that I sometimes feel I never did one action with a single eye to his glory. My own will has mixed,

And “Pride, that busy sin,
Spoil’d all that I perform’d.”

’Tis well for _me_, that our high-priest bears the iniquity of my holy things. Indeed, if the altar did not sanctify the gift, I could not approach with one offering. O may he purify the sacrifice which I have often made, of all I have, or can, or am!

Watch! Stand stedfast, my dear friend, and be strong in the Lord! Remember, the God of peace shall shortly bruise Satan under your feet. May he give you every thing that will forward your growth in grace!

* * * * *

_Norwich, May 11, 1762._

I AM but weak, but my soul is kept in peace. Who can express the blessing of feeling Christ our friend every moment? Indeed, I see no other way to profit my soul, but to come the present moment, as I am, to Jesus: He never sends me empty away. If I wish any thing, it is for more opportunity for private prayer. Between the sick, the afflicted, and those seeking the Lord, I have very little time to myself. However, I feel no desire, but to do and suffer his will. While I speak to you, I taste his goodness, above what words can describe. He knoweth, I desire to glorify him, to be altogether his, and to feel him all my own. I know of nothing in my soul, which is not given up to God. Pray him to examine and prove me, and to supply what is lacking.

* * * * *

To Mrs. _J. C. M._

_November 29, 1761._

I KNOW nothing of myself. But I know and feel, that God is love. I feel, I love him in a measure, and long for full conformity to Jesus. My soul is happy in him; and though I have not what I used to think was implied in the blessing which has been poured out upon many, yet I have (what I am not sufficiently thankful for) a deeper union with the source of blessedness, a constant sense of his unmerited love, and a knowledge that I am less than the least of all saints. I am persuaded, nothing shall separate me from the Lord Jesus. From him is my fruit found. In him are the springs of consolation, which revive and endue my soul with much strength. I trust in him, and know in whom I trust: therefore life or death is equal.

Labour still for all the Spirit’s peaceful fruit. Jesus will bless your attempts to glorify him. He will make you unblameable in love before men, and unreproveable before God. Know, that the eye of earth and heaven is upon you. Many wait for your halting: More, I trust, wish you success in the name of the Lord: I am sure I do, and therefore write without reserve. Take heed of your own understanding. Do not suffer yourself to think of it, but with abasement, that you have made no better use of it. Excuse this freedom: the motive is love unfeigned. I find the fruit of the cross even while I write. I sit under the shadow of my beloved, and feel him sustaining my soul. O Jesus, great is thy goodness! great is thy mercy! even toward the meanest, me! Bless, I pray thee, the sister of my spirit. Let her

“Antedate the joys above:
Ever feel her Saviour’s love.”

I feel my insufficiency to speak of the goodness of God. It is more than I can express. He deals tenderly with me; and if I follow the best pattern, I shall be patient towards all. I have felt much bodily weakness, but no power to chuse its removal or continuance. I seem to enjoy all I want, while I pursue what I have not attained. I am daily more sensible how little I am. I think never one soul so utterly wanted a complete Saviour.

*I have taken the first opportunity to write, in hopes of profiting by your answer. I want to know the most effectual way to grow in grace; how to improve by all things; how to make good use of the dulness which often creeps upon my mind, and makes my soul stupidly inactive. I want to be all attention to God; to have every faculty of my mind fixedly waiting upon him: but I find myself beat off of this by weariness or listlessness. I often seem to stand fast in the Lord, and am steddily looking unto him; but (I suppose, through unwatchfulness) often lose the deep consciousness, that, “God is here:” yet he does not condemn me; but I abhor myself, while I see the Saviour graciously near. My heart crieth without a voice, “Come and mould thy passive clay. Keep my attention rightly exercised every moment.” And while I call, my Jesus answers. O, did I pray without fainting, I should then be what I wish.

I praise the lover of your soul, that he delights to bless you. May you ever see his full sufficiency to save, and live in the fountain-head of bliss!

* * * * *

_January 26, 1762._

BLESSED be God, I only seek his approbation, and am content with that alone. The night you wrote, the Lord spake to my heart, “All is your’s.” I feel it true, for Christ is mine. Indeed he is precious to me. My soul is satisfied with its portion. Yet “eager I ask and pant for more.” But my wants do not discourage me. I delight to feel them, for I am persuaded out of his fulness I shall receive a supply. Even while I am receiving from him, he makes me capable of more. I am amazed at his grace.

“I cannot praise him as I wou’d,
But he is merciful and good,”

and does not despise the day of small things.

I know I have been unfaithful to the grace of God; yet ♦he pardons without upbraiding. O that every future moment may prove, I feel the time past sufficeth! When I consider you as a younger scholar, I am ashamed; yet I rejoice the Master loveth us both. And though he may justly say to me, “O, slow of heart to understand,” yet he teaches me, as I am able to receive, the lesson of his love. I often meet your spirit, when I go in secret before our Lord. He only knows, how much I desire you may increase, with all the increase of God. May you follow the Lamb in all things! I praise him, that he unites me to himself, and to all whose fellowship is with him: I thank him who gives us to drink into one spirit. My heart feels God continually nigh. My only wish is his will; my only desire his glory.

♦ “ye” replaced with “he”

* * * * *

_Good Friday._

*IT is given to you to suffer: and happy are you, if our Lord counts you meet to be his companion in the garden. I love his tempted followers above all: and his peculiar care is towards such as drink of his cup. I am thankful to him on behalf of your soul. Faithful is he that hath called you. He will establish your heart, and keep you from all evil, unto his heavenly kingdom.

I always find a fight before a conquest. I am generally warned of approaching trials, and when I am most filled with the consolations of God, I see how amiable it is to follow my Captain, who was made perfect through sufferings. He is daily teaching me the lesson of his cross. When it ceases to be necessary I shall suffer no more. I am often sensible, my own folly obliges him to put me to pain. I know he never willingly afflicts, but chastens in order to make us partakers of his holiness.

O praise our everlasting Friend, who never shews us a defect, but in order to amend it: my soul longeth to live to him. I feel his mercies new every morning. My spirit is so united to the Lord Jesus, that I am persuaded nothing shall separate me from his love. But I have no fruit of the Spirit, in the fulness I desire or expect. I am sensible my privileges are far higher than my attainments: and I want to be stirred up daily, to take the kingdom which is before me by violence.

Of late I have found private prayer the means which brought me nearest to God: but this he often varies, as his wisdom sees best. My soul is more simple than it was: I am learning to leave others to the care of our Shepherd, and desire only to hear and follow him. Let your soul delight itself in him: learn to know how he hath loved you. Be very active in his cause, and passive to his will. My spirit is all peace. May your’s be preserved in Christ Jesus, who hath called you to glory and immortality.

* * * * *

_April 21._

PEACE be with your spirit! The Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought: thou shalt be like a watered garden; for the Lord Jesus is your well of salvation. With joy may you draw from his fulness, grace for every moment’s want. His design is still to do us good; his delight is with the sons of men.

*I find my fellowship with heaven is increased since I wrote last: the King of eternity makes me capable of communing with him, and though I tread but the outward borders of his sanctuary, he causes me to hear his voice, inviting me to come forward. He assures me, he will help me to overcome, and gives me to inherit all things. But at the same time, he shews me my works are not perfect; and that I must watch and strengthen the things that remain. I find my safety and happiness depend, upon my dependance on Jesus. I want every moment to begin afresh the life of faith; to forget all things else, and be (as you said) “a person of one business,” I have been much tempted lately, but I count it all joy, for it profiteth my soul. I have gained more self-contempt, and I love an empty spirit, because then there is room for Jesus.

“O what are all our sorrows here,
If, Lord, thou count us meet
With that inraptur’d host t’ appear,
And worship at thy feet?”

It will soon be our employ. O let us now live in eternity! Antedate the joys above, by bringing all you have and are, to his feet. Cast all you have before him, and ascribe salvation to him, who of a stone, hath made a daughter of _Abraham_.

I think the grace you want most is thankfulness. Stir me up to patience. Pray that I may be nothing,

“Mean and vile in my own eyes,
Only in his wisdom wise.”

* * * * *

_Norwich, May 6._

THE Lord hath of late kept me much from reasoning myself into perplexity. When any thing occurs which I cannot understand, I carry it to him, who is a _wonderful Counsellor_: and he wipes away the tears from my eyes, by assuring me he is all my own. I feel a constant necessity of walking with the Lord, as I first received him: and I retain peace, as it was imparted, by simple faith. Who knows the value of faith? None but they who constantly exercise it, to their own profit, and the Redeemer’s glory.

*I think your fears of deceiving the people, are only the result of strong temptations. We cannot see clearly in the time of a storm. This is not a season to examine whether we be in the faith: neither is reason alone sufficient to determine in spiritual matters. One thing is needful in your present situation, even to cast yourself upon the Lord, just as you are. _Now_ come to him who waiteth to be gracious; who saith concerning sin or infirmity, “I will cleanse the blood which I have not cleansed.” I fear, you have reasoned with the enemy, while you should have been looking unto Jesus; and by living a little beneath your privileges, have been ready to give up your claim to them. But Jesus was present, though your eyes were holden: And,

“Round you and beneath are spread
The everlasting arms.”

* * * * *

_Sunday Night._

THE Lord who inclined your heart to write, will reward your labour of love. I find him faithful who hath promised, _My grace is sufficient for thee_. I feel a measure of that love, which shall overcome by enduring: all I have and am is but a small offering; but this I can give up to Jesus. Ever since I tasted his love, I have been led in the way of the cross. It is a royal way: the King of kings walked in it: and while I tread in his steps, I experience the rugged way is pleasantness, and the thorny path is peace. Since I have more than ever gone through _evil report_, I have found more increase of faith and love. I cannot sufficiently praise the _friend who sticketh closer than a brother_. His banner over me is love, and my soul confesses he doth all things well.

I praise him on your behalf also. He rejoices over you to do you good. O lean on your Beloved with all your weight; so shall you find a sure support. If storms rise and winds blow, they will only settle you on the rock which cannot be moved. Believe simply; believe constantly; so shall you love steddily and entirely. I know no other way for the just to live, but by faith; and as we exercise faith it grows, ’till we can say in all circumstances, _This is the victory_.

I bless my God, I feel no desire to vindicate my conduct. I know the light of heaven shone on my path, and I am content to be approved of God alone. I feel my heart is given up without reserve, and see fresh cause to be daily more devoted to him. Blessed be God for Jesus Christ! In him I enjoy all I want. Bear me on your heart before him, and ask him to lead me to the thing and place he chuseth.

* * * * *

_July 22._

YOUR’s came in a seasonable time, as the return of prayer. I felt some pain because I did not hear from you sooner. But our God doth all things well; he shall supply all your wants, and make all grace to abound towards you. He delights to complete the work he begins, and happy is the soul that does not resist his will. He will call for the corn and will increase it, and will lay no famine upon you. Great is his faithfulness! Hearken diligently to the Shepherd’s voice. He will teach us to profit by the present cross, and keep us in the spirit of sacrifice.

I feel my need of patience. I am closely and constantly exercised, but his grace is sufficient even for me. He generally teaches me by applying his word to my heart, so that I have cause to esteem it more than fine gold. I was greatly oppressed some nights ago, and found immediate deliverance from these words, _As birds flying, so will the Lord of hosts defend_ Jerusalem. _Defending also he will deliver, and passing over he will preserve it._ I find much union with you, and believe you bear my burdens, and abide in prayer for me. I cannot forget you, and our friend in heaven remembers you for good.

I can no longer refrain from saying, Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. Let none beguile you of your simplicity, or the reward that attends it. I believe your light is shining out of obscurity, and will shine unto the perfect day. You are coming unto the light that your deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. In his light you behold yourself of _the circumcision, who worship God in the Spirit, rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh_.

*_They have great peace who love his law, and nothing shall offend them; he keeps us night and day._ I pleaded this promise last night, and made it my own by believing. He did keep my imagination, while I slept, subject to himself. Since I returned into the country, I have been blest with peace, which temptation of various kinds did not ruffle. My determination to know nothing but Jesus crucified, is much strengthened. This moment I can give up all for him, and do all things through him strengthening me. I have a testimony that I please him, and count his dear reproach greater treasure than the wealth or praise of men.

Be faithful in all things; this is your privilege; live up to it this moment. You know the way, walk therein, and pray always for

_Your affectionate sister, And obliged friend_.

* * * * *

REJOICE in the Lord always; again I say rejoice. For he is become your everlasting light, and the days of your mourning are ended. I believe your sun shall no more go down, but you shall dwell on high. Your place of defence is in the munition of rocks; bread of life is given you; your waters shall not fail. Your eyes see the King in his beauty, and he will cause you to know him who was from the beginning. I drink with you into one spirit. Help me to bless God for the consolation; it increases by being mutual. My soul seems lost in wonder, love and praise, and is melted into thankful tears. Every sensation of gratitude in earth or heaven is bought with thy blood, O precious Jesus! the power to feel my obligations to him, proceedeth from above, and when we reach the top-stone, we shall still shout “Grace, grace unto it.”

*I have all this day been in a disposition to cast my crown at his feet. I cannot express how much I choose to give all the glory to Christ my Lord. All within me acknowledges he is worthy to receive all glory. My love to Mrs. ――――. Tell her, not one tittle shall fail of all the good things God hath spoken to her of. Only let her be strong, and not stagger at any of the promises. I believe, I need not say, pray always for

_Your most affectionate sister in Jesus_.

* * * * *

To Mrs. _E. D._

_My dear friend_,

I Know you will rejoice to hear, God has gotten himself the victory, in the most stubborn heart, that ever submitted to Jesus.

He is my king, and makes me sit
In willing bonds beneath his feet.

Praise him, O my soul, praise him, O my sister, for still he is bringing lost sinners to God. Yea, he has brought _me_ to God. I feel myself weak as helpless infancy; but Christ my strength is with me: at last I am a fool for his sake.

*When I left you on Friday, and had finished my business, I sat down alone and in misery. The Lord directed me to those words: _be not affrighted: I know whom ye seek; Jesus of Nazareth: he is not here, he is risen, and lo he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall you see him_. I believed I should, and came home in peaceful expectation. One who had seen his great salvation prayed, that he would bless me also: but my own wisdom opposed his coming, and the conflict was great. At length my vehement soul stood still, and the mountains flowed down at his presence. My heart was filled with holy shame and humble joy: I was a little child. I entered the kingdom; we praised our King till morning, and his praise is ever new and sweet. The Lord causes us to cease from our own works, and he is glorified. O pray for us! Pray for _me_, who every moment need the merit of his death. I can say no more, but I do love Christ, and I love _you_ better than ever.

* * * * *

_My dear friend_,

TRULY God is loving unto _Israel_, even unto me: nevertheless my feet had well nigh slipt, for I was grieved at the wicked, and pained by the good. I have been more exercised in mind than ever I was before, and the last conflict always felt severest: but I begin to see that all these things work together for my good. I never was so much saved from trusting in any creature; Jesus was never more lovely in my eyes; I feel him only desirable; I cannot repeat his compassions, for they are endless. I proved them to be sufficient for me, when all besides failed me. I doubt not but I made my cross heavier than love intended, by my own folly: but the teacher of _Israel_ rectifies mistakes with tenderness known only to himself. At present my desire is, to overcome by enduring. I want to think and act under the eye of him who loves me, and every moment to feel it upon me. My soul longs for nearer acquaintance with God. I know neither men nor devils need hinder my intercourse with Jesus. O that I were wise to improve what I receive, and faithful to retain what his mercy gives!

Use your interest for me at the throne of grace: and go on through your croud of difficulties, aiming at Jesus. He alone is worthy your pursuit!

We are forced to _feel_ as well as _see_: God alone is our support. I have had much of his peaceful presence. He is indeed greater than our fears, and better than our hopes. I was much tried on Friday; but since that I have had no painful emotion. I feel for _you_ in the tenderest manner my heart is capable. I see Jesus will vindicate his own, and claim all your heart for himself. He sees what wounds it, and will give medicine to heal all its sickness. I believe “all you feel is mercy.” But are you strong enough to support the weight? Why should his blessings be insupportable, through our softness of spirit? O that my friend were less susceptible of those impressions! O that a dull disciple might teach you to be in some matters more slow of understanding, of a more insensible spirit!

I see the commandment is exceeding broad, and this makes Christ exceeding precious. How valuable the advocate with the Father! My soul desires to know nothing but him crucified. May you feel life, abundant life in that knowledge! O how much my Saviour loves you? I feel a little of the sounding of his bowels toward you, and my heart cleaves to him, for his goodness to you. He counts you worthy to suffer. O be thankful for this special mark of his love!

* * * * *

*ALL this week I have been tried, but with intervals of rest. God is a jealous God, and will be loved alone: Jesus will convince us in time, that he alone is worthy of every power of the soul. I see a field of religion before me, which I want to walk in. I know I am called to make a perpetual offering of myself, and every enjoyment, to the will of God. I do long to be a Christian. My heart goeth out after this: when will it once be? That promise is now brought to my mind, _They shalt grow as willows by the water-courses_. ’Tis a mournful tree; I think we shall be weeping willows, ’till we are taken into the paradise of _God_. The peculiar privilege _there_ is, all tears shall be wiped away from our eyes.

O how little do I know the meaning of Jesus? Surely ’tis mercy all. Even the minutest circumstance is by his order, and under his inspection. And he will suffer nothing to hurt the apple of his eye.

*I am to-day very weak in body. I feel the power of sympathizing with all in the house. All are tried. O Adam, what hast thou done? O Jesus, what hast thou suffered? How thou canst recover! Lord, let us know thy utmost power to save!

MY heart feels pure union with yours. I love you as disinterestedly as I think I can. Sure the Lord is pouring upon you the spirit of sacrificing all to him. I wish you good luck in his name! Go on, my dear friend. Life is a noble thing, while our employment is doing the will of God from the heart. May you clearly see what it is concerning you. I have at present, peace inward and outward. Pray, pray that I may

“Be thankful and humble,
But never stand still.”

*I WANT your prayers and advice. I feel myself daily weaker, and more foolish than ever. I am as a little child learning to walk, and cannot go alone. At present I am guided by Jesus, and feel his grace sufficient for me; but there are depths of the Deity I want to fathom. I long to be lost in the immensity of his love!

My soul enjoys peace, solid peace at bottom: but its surface is filled with fights and fears. I am afraid of being too _outward_; I want grace to _deepen_ in my soul. Blessed be God, my every want shall be supplied, from his fulness who filleth all.

MY dear friend gave me another proof of her tenderness, by not upbraiding me with neglect. I think you ought to go to the meetings [on Fridays] by all means: pray for those who speak not according to the law and the testimony. You will feel more deeply the help that is done upon earth: the Lord doth it himself. What is man that he is mindful of him! What is God, that he can be gracious to us! O may our souls every moment know, by a nearer acquaintance with him, that he is love!

You are laid upon my heart to pray for: sure God is faithful to his word, he _will_ hear and answer, and endue your soul with much strength.

“Suffering faith shall brighter grow,
As gold when in the furnace tried.”