Chapter XVI: Act I

SCENE I.--MR. HARDCASTLE'S _house_. MR. _and_ MRS. HARDCASTLE.

MRS. HARDCASTLE: I vow, Mr. Hardcastle, I hate such old-fashioned
trumpery.

HARDCASTLE: And I love it; old friends, old times, old manners, old
books, old wine, and I believe you'll own I've been pretty fond of an
old wife.

MRS. HARDCASTLE: Oh, you're for ever at your old wife. I'm not so old
as you'd make me. I was twenty when my son Tony was born, and he's not
come to years of discretion yet.

HARDCASTLE: Nor ever will, I dare answer; you've taught him finely.
Alehouse and stable are his only schools.

MRS. HARDCASTLE: Poor boy, anyone can see he's consumptive.
[TONY _is heard hallooing_.

HARDCASTLE: Oh, very consumptive!

[TONY _crosses, and_ MRS. HARDCASTLE _follows him out. Enter_
KATE HARDCASTLE.

HARDCASTLE: Blessings on my pretty innocence! What a quantity of
superfluous silk hast thou got about thee, girl!

KATE: But in the evening I am to wear my housewife's dress to please
you; you know our agreement, sir.

HARDCASTLE: By the bye, I shall have to try your obedience this very
evening. In fact, Kate, I expect the young gentleman I have chosen
to be your husband, this very day; and my old friend his father, Sir
Charles Marlow, soon after him. I shall not control your choice, but I
am told that he is of an excellent understanding.

KATE: Is he?

HARDCASTLE: Very generous.

KATE: I believe I shall like him.

HARDCASTLE: Young and brave.

KATE: I'm sure I shall like him.

HARDCASTLE: And very handsome.

KATE: Say no more; he's mine.

HARDCASTLE: And, to crown all, he's one of the most reserved and
bashful young fellows in the world.

KATE: That word has undone all the rest, still I think I'll have him.
(_Exit_ HARDCASTLE.) Reserved and sheepish. Can't he be cured? (_Enter_
MISS NEVILLE.) I'm glad you came, my dear. I am threatened with a
lover, the son of Sir Charles Marlow.

MISS NEVILLE: The most intimate friend of Mr. Hastings, my admirer;
and such a character. Among ladies of reputation the modestest man
alive, but with others----

MISS HARDCASTLE: And has my mother been courting you for my brother
Tony, as usual? I could almost love him for hating you so.

MISS NEVILLE: It is a good-natured creature at bottom, and I'm sure
would wish to see me married to anyone but himself. [_Exeunt_.

SCENE II.--_An alehouse_. TONY LUMPKIN _carousing with the village
riff-raff_. MARLOW _and_ HASTINGS _arrive, and inquire the
way to_ MR. HARDCASTLE'S _house_. TONY _tells them they
cannot possibly reach the house that night, but directs them
to it as an inn_.

TONY: The old Buck's Head on the hill, one of the best inns in the
whole county. But the landlord is rich and just going to leave off
business; so he wants to be thought a gentleman, and will be for giving
you his company. Ecod, he'll persuade you that his mother was an
alderman, and his aunt a justice of the peace. I'll just step myself,
and show you a piece of the way.
[_Exeunt._