Chapter VIII

Now the main question that I know strikes you is, Has Russia changed much and is it better off? Say, that is the one answer you can go and bet on. Russia hasent changed one bit. It’s just Russia as it has been for hundreds of years and will be for the next hundreds of years. A hundred million people are out in the Country and small Villages, and are living just the same lives they lived under the Czar, and their existence wouldent be changed even if the Prohibition, the Populist, the Farmer-Labor or even the Democrats run Russia. It wouldent be nothing but Russia. People don’t change under Governments; the Governments change, but the people remain the same.

Look at us! What does it matter who is in any four years? You got to get out and hustle for it or you don’t get it, no matter what Government is in. And there is a country with over 90 per cent of their population Peasants, and they have to make a living from the soil. They work hard, don’t have much; some years a little more than others; have to pay their taxes or their rent money as in the old days. Now the taxes are just as much as the rent share was in the old days with the landlords. So what difference does it make to them what kind of Government it is? In fact, they claim that they are not as well off now, because in these times they can’t buy the things they want, like they used to be able to do, as they are not to be had.

This eighty or ninety million are no more Communists than you are; they don’t know what it’s all about. The country is run by the Communist Party, which has less than 600,000, and they rule this 130,000,000. They are allowed to elect men to send to the various councils of the Soviet. But get this--you see, the Communist strength is among the Industrial workers in the Cities; but they give him a Representative in the Government for what we will say is one for every 100 voters. But the Farmers or Peasants get only one for every 1,000 voters. That’s not the exact Representation, but it is the correct proportion.

So where does your equality come in? They do that to sorter help overbalance the great majority of the Peasant vote. Russia under the Czar was very little different from what it is today; for instead of one Czar, why, there is at least a thousand now. Any of the big men in the Party holds practically Czaristic powers. Siberia is still working. It’s just as cold on you to be sent there under the Soviets as it was under the Czar. The only way you can tell a Member of the Party from an ordinary Russian is the Soviet man will be in a car. They are all supposed to only receive $112 a month, which is supposed to be the salary of all Communists that do work for the Government. Well, some of them must be pretty good managers to get along as well as they do on that.

There is as much class distinction in Russia today as there is in Charleston, South Carolina. Why, I went to the races there, and the grand stand had all the men of the Party, and over in the center field stood the mob in the sun. Well, there was Bourgeois and Proletariat distinction for you.

Here is the queer thing to an outsider: They had the Revolution to run out the rich, and now the only one that can get in there is either some rich man or some of his Representatives that say they want to invest there.

They are very strict about who they let in, and yet any rich fellow they would meet at the line and escort them in. You see, it dident take them long to learn that somebody has got to pay the wages or they won’t have anything to divide up.

You see, that is where Mussolini has outsmarted the Bolsheviks. They have spent all the money they could rake and scrape on Propaganda in other Countries, and here they were in Russia with the biggest and richest Country in the World to work with. They should have spent every cent of all this on just working and improving Russia, and getting it so it looked like something. That was what Mussolini had done. All his Propaganda has not cost him a nickel. He kept every nickel in Italy and put everybody to work, and now you go in and see it, and he don’t have to spread any propaganda for your sake. He says look at it and see how things are. That’s his advertisement. And just think, he is in a poor Country, where they have few natural resources. You turn that Wop loose in Russia for a few years, with all their vast unearthed wealth, and he would really pull a Napoleon on the World.

Now his plan is what the Communists should have done. They have always wanted Communism. Now they have it, and they have it in the finest Country there is; so if they don’t make a go of it, their plan must be wrong, and they will have nobody to blame but themselves. They have certainly had opportunity knocking at their door. What should they care about what Communism is doing in Chicago or London? Fix up Moscow and show the world what can be done under Communism and then let people come there and see, and they will get all the converts they need and never spend a dime on Propaganda. Instead of hiring a man to spread propaganda, hire him to spread some paint and soap and water around. Turn some of those museums into Bathhouses. Never mind showing us what Ivanof and Serof did. Show us what Annette Kellermann did. Never mind bearing down so much on culture; bear down on Industry.

You see, here is what makes it look kinder bad--these fellows took over a Country that was already a going concern; that dident have a cent of debt--that is, they repudiated all Russia’s debts, as they claimed they had nothing to do with the contracting of them. Now the biggest expense of any country is its interest on its national debt. They confiscated everything, paid nobody for anything, have everything that the entire Country possessed. They claimed they dident want any salary for doing it, so that should have eliminated another big expense. They were supposed to be working for just the love of saving their fellow man.

Now if you can’t take one that’s handed to you like that, what chance have you got with it when there is nothing more to cop from anyone, and paying interest on a big indebtedness? You see, they confiscated Trains, Factories, Public Buildings and everything. Now those are wearing out and have to be repaired and rebuilt. What are they going to do? Nobody has anything else free for ’em. So, just offhand to an unobserving bonehead, it don’t look like they have manipulated their affairs any too good.

These other so-called Capitalistic Nations after the war have kept up repairs and debts, and still look better off than Russia. Russia hasent paid it out in big salaries. Nobody has ever received in the way of working wages more than a mere living. But they changed their scheme around a dozen times since they been in, and they are liable to change it a dozen more, because none of them ain’t what you would exactly call a-hitting just right. They have been messing with Russia for nearly nine years. It’s a good thing that the 90,000,000 are not organized or there would be a change there overnight.

Communism will never get anywhere till they get that basic idea of Propaganda out of their head and replace it with some work. If they plowed as much as they Propagandered they would be richer than the Principality of Monaco. The trouble is they all got their theory’s out of a book instead of any of them ever going to work and practicing them. I read the same books these Birds learned from, and that’s the books of that guy Marx. Why, he was like one of these efficiency experts. He could explain to you how you could save a million dollars and he couldent save enough himself to eat on.

I read his life history. He never did a tap of work only write Propaganda, according to his own history. He couldent even make his own writings pay, much less his theories. He wrote for the dissatisfied, and the dissatisfied is the fellow who don’t want to do any manual labor. He always wants to figure out where he and his friends can get something for nothing. They even suggest somebody dividing with them. You could take those 600,000 Communists over in Russia and take 600,000 rich Americans and you could put them all together and make the Americans divide up with them equally, and in six months the 600,000 Communists wouldent have a thing left but some long hair and a scheme to try to get back the half that the Americans was smart enough to take from them. While the Russians would be practicing their book theories, the Americans would be practicing just the ones that they know would work. If you have never been smart enough to make it yourself, you wouldent be smart enough to hang onto it after you got it.

I hate to keep dragging Mussolini in this, but it was his being in the Communist Party for all those years that he found out just which ones of their Theories were wrong. Communists have some good ideas, of course; but they got a lot that sound better than they work. So Mussolini has just used the good ones in Italy and thrown out all the others and replaced them with his own. So he really has Communism to thank for his success in learning what not to do. If this Stalin turns out to be a kind of a Mussolini, why, they may pull out; but somebody has got to handle that troop with a knout. They say Russia is supposed, by their law, to be run by everybody. Well, it looks it.

You know a Communist’s whole Life work is based on complaint of how everything is being done. Well, when they are running everything themselves, why, that takes away their chief industry. They have nobody to blame it on. Even if he is satisfied with it, why, he is miserable because he has nothing to complain about. Same way with strikes and Revolutions. They would just rather stir up a strike somewhere than eat. So, naturally, in Russia with themselves, they feel rather restrained, for they are totally unable to indulge in their old favorite sport of going on strike and jumping up on a box and inviting all the boys out with them. You know, that is their whole life, and that is why I don’t believe they will ever be satisfied to run their own country, especially if everything runs smooth. You make one satisfied and he is no longer a Communist. So if they ever get their country running good they will defeat their own cause.

Now, mind you, I may be wrong about these people, for you can never tell about a Russian. They all may be just having the best time in the World over there and enjoying it all fine. You know, that is one thing about the Russian--he thrives on adversity. He is never as happy in his life as when he is miserable. So he may just be setting pretty, for he is certainly miserable. It may be just the land for a Comrade to want to hibernate in.

Some days in there it would really look to me like they were trying to do something, and were going to get somewhere; and the next day you would see stuff that would make you think, “What has all these millions of innocent, peace-loving people done that through no fault of their own they should be thrown into a mess like this, with no immediate prospects of relief?” So I am going to be honest with you--I don’t know whether to kiss ’em or kill ’em.

But now we are going to get down to the real thing as to whether they can really last or not, and that is religion. The Russians, I guess from what little I have read, were about the most whole-hearted religious people anywhere. They are at heart just big, simple, kind-hearted, God-fearing people. Practically all of them were devout members of the Russian Orthodox Church. Some of the most wonderful Churches in the World are in Russia. Now here is something that everybody don’t know--that the basic foundation of the Communist Party is to be a nonbeliever--in other words, they are all Atheists.

You can’t belong to the Party and belong to any Church, no matter what Church. All the Jewish members of the Party have to be nonbelievers. Before you can get into the Party, it takes a couple of years or more, and this Atheist test is the one that is hardest. They try to lead these Russians to believe that all their troubles all these years have been directly traceable to their religion; that if they throw over their devout religion everything will be all right. They point out that the Czar and all those that oppressed them were members of that Church, and that if a God existed, why hadent He done something to help them?

Now nobody is making any Alibi for the Czar or any of his old Gang, for from what I could learn in Russia from everybody I talked with, not only the Bolsheviks but others on the other side, who had been in there for years, the Czar was pretty small Potatoes. He wasent intentionally bad, but he was just weak. They all seemed to think the Czarina had quite a bit of backbone, and if he had had her nerve Russia might have had a different story today. ’Course, you have to admit that fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.

Now they will tell you that the worship of Leninism is their religion. Lenin preached Revolution, Blood and Murder in everything I ever read of his. Now they may dig ’em up a religion out of that, but it’s too soon after his death really to tell just how great he was. History has to ramble along a good many years after a man puts some policies into effect till you can tell just how they turned out.

Why, some fellow may come along in Russia at any time with a whole new set of plans that beat Lenin’s all to pieces, and he would be the Big Man. So where would all your Lenin worship be then? You know, there is a lot of big men die, but most of them are not so big that they won’t all be buried. Now Lenin may come through right on through the ages, but at the present time they are kinder forcing him on the people. The Government has erected more Statues and Busts to Lenin than there is flivvers in America. Everywhere you go--every room in every public building has a bust of Lenin. They make the children speak of him as Uncle Lenin. Now it’s always best to let the people pick out their own Hero. Don’t try to force one on them; it’s liable to have the opposite effect sometimes.

Mind you, you can’t condemn everybody just because they started a Revolution. We grabbed what little batch of liberty we used to have through a revolution, and lots of other Nations have revolutions to thank today. But I don’t think anyone that just made a business of proposing them for a steady diet would be the one to pray to and try and live like.

We all know a lot of things that would be good for our Country, but we wouldent want to go so far as propose that everybody start shooting each other till we got them. A fellow shouldent have to kill anybody just to prove they are right.

I can’t understand by what reckoning they think everybody connected with running the Country should be a nonbeliever. Just what quality does that add to Government? I don’t care what you believe in, but you certainly got a right to that belief, and you shouldent have to give it up to take part in the Government of your Native Land. If the Bolsheviks say that religion was holding the people back from progress, why, let it hold them back. Progress ain’t selling that high. If it is, it ain’t worth it. Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody else’s religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right? These present religions are liable to knock on the door up above and find that there is not a Soul been admitted that ever saw an Automobile or a train. You may be told:

“Oh, no; you so-called educated people thought you knew so much, and lived so much better down there, and tried to make all others believe in yours instead of their own religion. They were the ones that were right. Yet they dident try to impose theirs on you. I am sorry. Good day.”

It’s better to let people die ignorant and poor, believing in what they have always believed in, than to die prosperous and smart, half believing in something new and doubtful.

There never was a nation founded and maintained without some kind of belief in something. Nobody knows what the outcome in Russia will be or how long this Government will last. But if they do get by for quite a while on everything else, they picked the only one thing I know of to suppress that is absolutely necessary to run a Country on, and that is Religion. Never mind what kind; but it’s got to be something or you will fail at the finish.

P.S. Now I have told you all about Russia, but the best way I can describe Russia to you is, Russian men wear their shirts hanging outside their pants. WELL ANY NATION THAT DON’T KNOW ENOUGH TO STICK THEIR SHIRT TAIL IN WILL NEVER GET ANYWHERE.

=Transcriber’s Notes=

Some words appear to be purposely misspelled; these have not been changed.

Perceived typographical errors have been silently corrected.

Illustrations have been moved to appropriate paragraph breaks.

New original cover art included with this eBook is granted to the public domain.