Chapter XXVII: Act THE THIRD: SCENE I.--The Senate-house

_Enter_ Tarquin, Porsenna, Tullia, Sextus, _and_ Aruns.

Tarquin.
Next King Porsenna, whom we tender dearly,
Welcome, young Sextus! thou hast to our yoke
Suppressed the neck of a proud nation,
The warlike Sabines, enemies to Rome.

Sextus.
It was my duty, royal emperor,
The duty of a subject and a son.
We at our mother’s intercession likewise
Are now atoned with Aruns, whom we here
Receive into our bosom.

Tullia.
This is done
Like a kind brother and a natural son.

Aruns.
We interchange a royal heart with Sextus,
And graft us in your love.

Tarquin.
Now, King Porsenna,
Welcome once more to Tarquin and to Rome.

Porsenna.
We are proud of your alliance: Rome is ours,
And we are Rome’s; this our religious league
Shall be carved firm in characters of brass,
And live for ever to succeeding times.

Tarquin.
It shall, Porsenna. Now this league’s established,
We will proceed in our determined wars,
To bring the neighbour nations under us.
Our purpose is to make young Sextus general
Of all our army, who hath proved his fortunes,
And found them full of favour. We’ll begin
With strong Ardea;--ha’ you given in charge
To assemble all our captains, and take muster
Of our strong army?

Aruns.
That business is dispatched.

Sextus.
We have likewise sent
For all our best commanders, to take charge
According to their merit,--Lord Valerius,
Lord Brutus, Cocles, Mutius Scevola,
And Collatine,--to make due preparation
For such a gallant siege.

Tarquin.
This day you shall set forward. Sextus, go,
And let us see your army march along
Before this king and us, that we may view
The puissance of our host prepared already
To lay high-reared Ardea waste and low.

Sextus.
I shall, my liege.

Tullia.
Aruns, associate him.

Aruns.
A rival with my brother in his honours.

[_Exeunt_ Aruns _and_ Sextus.

Tarquin.
Porsenna shall behold the strength of Rome,
And body of the camp, under the charge
Of two brave princes, to lay hostile siege
Against the strongest city that withstands
The all-commanding Tarquin.

Porsenna.
’Tis an object
To please Porsenna’s eye.

[_Soft march_.

Tarquin.
The host is now
Upon their march. You from this place may see
The pride of all the Roman chivalry.

_Enter_ Sextus, Aruns, Brutus, Collatine, Valerius,
Scevola, Cocles, _with_ Soldiers, _drum and colours. They march
over the stage, and congee to the_ King _and_ Queen.

Porsenna.
This sight’s more pleasing to Porsenna’s eye
Than all our rich Attalia’s[5.36] pompous feasts
Or sumptuous revels: we are born a soldier,
And in our nonage sucked the milk of war.
Should any strange fate lour upon this army,
Or that the merciless gulf of confusion
Should swallow them, we, at our proper charge,
And from our native confines, vow supply
Of men and arms to make these numbers full.

Tarquin.
You are our royal brother, and in you
Tarquin is powerful and maintains his awe.

Tullia.
The like Porsenna may command of Rome.

Porsenna.
But we have in your fresh varieties
Feasted too much, and kept ourself too long
From our own seat: our prosperous return
Hath been expected by our lords and peers.

Tarquin.
The business of our wars thus forwarded,
We ha’ best leisure for your entertainment,
Which now shall want no due solemnity.

Porsenna.
It hath been beyond both expectation
And merit; but in sight of Heaven I swear,
If ever royal Tarquin shall demand
Use of our love, ’tis ready stored for you
Even in our kingly breast.

Tarquin.
The like we vow
To King Porsenna. We will yet a little
Enlarge your royal welcome with rarities,
Such as Rome yields: that done, before we part,
Of two remote dominions make one heart.
Set forward then. Our sons wage war abroad,
To make us peace at home: we are of ourself.
Without supportance; we all fate defy:
Aidless, and of ourself, we stand thus high.

[_Exeunt_.

SCENE II.--_The Camp before Ardea_.

_Enter two_ Soldiers _meeting as in the watch_.

1st Soldier.
Stand, who goes there?

2nd Soldier.
A friend.

1st Soldier.
Stir not, for if thou dost I’ll broach thee straight upon this pike.
The word?

2nd Soldier.
Porsenna.

1st Soldier.
Pass;--stay, who walks the round to-night? the general, or any of
his captains?

2nd Soldier.
Horatius hath the charge; the other chieftains
Rest in the general’s tent; there’s no commander
Of any note, but revel with the prince:
And I amongst the rest am charged to attend
Upon their rouse.

1st Soldier.
Pass freely; I this night must stand ’twixt
them and danger. The time of night?

2nd Soldier.
The clock last told eleven.

1st Soldier.
The powers celestial
That have took Rome in charge, protect it still!
Again good-night. [_Exit 2nd_ Soldier.] Thus must poor soldiers do;
Whilst their commanders are with dainties fed,
And sleep on down, the earth must be our bed. [_Exit_.

SCENE III.--_Inside_ Sextus’s _Tent. A banquet prepared_.

_Enter_ Sextus, Aruns, Brutus, Valerius, Horatius, Scevola, _and_ Collatine.

Sextus.
Sit round: the enemy is pounded[5.37] fast
In their own folds; the walls made to oppugn
Hostile incursions become a prison,
To keep them fast for execution;
There’s no eruption to be feared.

Brutus.
What shall’s do? Come, a health to the general’s health; and
Valerius, that sits the most civilly, shall begin it; I cannot talk
till my blood be mingled with this blood of grapes. Fill for
Valerius. Thou shouldst drink well, for thou hast been in the German
wars; if thou lovest me, drink _upse freeze_.[5.38]

Sextus.
Nay, since Brutus has spoke the word, the first health shall be
imposed on you, Valerius; and if ever you have been Germanized, let
it be after the Dutch fashion.

Valerius.
The general may command.

Brutus.
He may; why else is he called the commander?

Sextus.
We will entreat Valerius.

Valerius.
Since you will needs enforce a high-German health, look well to your
heads, for I come upon you with this Dutch tassaker[5.39]: if you
were of a more noble science than you are, it will go near to break
your heads round.

[_Sings a Dutch song_.]
O mork giff men ein man,
Skerry merry vip,
O mork giff men ein man
Skerry merry vap.
O mork giff men ein man,
That tik die ten long o drievan can,
Skerry merry vip, and skerry merry vap,
And skerry merry runke ede bunk,
Ede hoore was a hai dedle downe
Dedle drunke a:
Skeery merry runke ede bunk, ede hoor was drunk a.

O daughter yeis ein alto kleene,
Skerry merry vip,
O daughter yeis ein alto kleene,
Skerry merry vap.
O daughter yeis ein alto kleene,
Ye molten slop, ein yert aleene
Skeery merry vip, and skerry merry vap
And skerry merry runk ede bunk,
Ede hoore was a hey dedle downe
Dedle drunke a:
Skeery merry, runk ede bunk, ede hoor was drunk a.

Sextus.
Gramercies, Valerius; came this high-German health as double as his
double ruff, I’d pledge it.

Brutus.
Were it in Lubeck or double-double beer, their own natural liquor,
I’d pledge it were it as deep as his ruff: let the health go round
about the board, as his band goes round about his neck. I am no more
afraid of this Dutch fashion than I should be of the heathenish
invention.

Collatine.
I must entreat you spare me, for my brain brooks not the fumes of
wine; their vaporous strength offends me much.

Horatius.
I would have none spare me, for I’ll spare none. Collatine will
pledge no health unless it be to his Lucrece.

Sextus.
What’s Lucrece but a woman? and what are women
But tortures and disturbance unto men?
If they be foul they’re odious, and if fair,
They’re like rich vessels full of poisonous drugs,
Or like black serpents armed with golden scales:
For my own part, they shall not trouble me.

Brutus.
Sextus, sit fast; for I proclaim myself a woman’s champion, and
shall unhorse thee else.

Valerius.
For my own part, I’m a married man, and I’ll speak to my wife to
thank thee, Brutus.

Aruns.
I have a wife too, and I think the most virtuous lady in the world.

Scevola.
I cannot say but that I have a good wife too, and I love her: but if
she were in heaven, beshrew me if I would wish her so much hurt as
to desire her company upon earth again; yet, upon my honour, though
she be not very fair, she is exceeding honest.

Brutus.
Nay, the less beauty, the less temptation to despoil her honesty.

Scevola.
I should be angry with him that should make question of her honour.

Brutus.
And I angry with thee if thou shouldst not maintain her honour.

Aruns.
If you compare the virtues of your wives, let me step in for mine.

Collatine.
I should wrong my Lucrece not to stand for her.

Sextus.
Ha, ha! all captains, and stand upon the honesty
of your wives! Is’t possible, think you,
That women of young spirit and full age,
Of fluent wit, that can both sing and dance,
Read, write, such as feed well and taste choice cates,
That straight dissolve to purity of blood,
That keep the veins full, and inflame the appetite,
Making the spirit able, strong, and prone,--
Can such as these, their husbands being away
Employed in foreign sieges or elsewhere,
Deny such as importune them at home?
Tell me that flax will not be touched with fire,
Nor they be won to what they most desire!

Brutus.
Shall I end this controversy in a word?

Sextus.
Do, good Brutus.

Brutus.
I hold some holy, but some apt to sin;
Some tractable, but some that none can win;
Such as are virtuous, gold nor wealth can move;
Some vicious of themselves are prone to love;
Some grapes are sweet and in the garden grow,
Others unpruned turn wild neglected so;
The purest ore contains both gold and dross,
The one all gain, the other nought but loss;
The one disgrace, reproach, and scandal taints,
The other angels and sweet-featured saints.

Collatine.
Such is my virtuous Lucrece.

Aruns.
Yet she for virtue is not comparable to the wife of Aruns.

Scevola.
And why may not mine be ranked with the most virtuous?

Horatius.
I would put in for a lot, but a thousand to one I shall draw but a
blank.

Valerius.
I should not show I loved my wife, not to take her part in her
absence: I hold her inferior to none.

Aruns.
Save mine.

Valerius.
No, not to her.

Brutus.
Oh, this were a brave controversy for a jury of women to arbitrate!

Collatine.
I’ll hazard all my fortunes on the virtues
Of divine Lucrece. Shall we try them thus?
It is now dead of night; let’s mount our steeds;
Within this two hours we may reach to Rome,
And to our houses all come unprepared,
And unexpected by our high-praised wives.
She of them all that we find best employed,
Devoted, and most huswife-exercised,
Let her be held most virtuous, and her husband
Win by the wager a rich horse and armour.

Aruns.
A hand on that.

Valerius.
Here’s a helping hand to that bargain.

Horatius.
But shall we to horse without circumstance?

Scevola.
Scevola will be mounted with the first.

Sextus.
Then mount cheval! Brutus, this night take you the charge of the
army. I’ll see the trial of this wager: ’twould do me good to see
some of them find their wives in the arms of their lovers, they are
so confident in their virtues. Brutus, we’ll interchange goodnight;
be thou but as provident o’er the army as we (if our horses fail
not) expeditious in our journey. To horse, to horse!

All.
Farewell, good Brutus.

[_Exeunt_.

SCENE IV.--_A Room in the House of_ Collatine.

_Enter_ Lucrece _and her two_ Maids.

Lucrece.
But one hour more, and you shall all to rest.
Now that your lord is absent from this house,
And that the master’s eye is from his charge,
We must be careful, and with providence
Guide his domestic business; we ha’ now
Given o’er all feasting and left revelling,
Which ill becomes the house whose lord is absent;
We banish all excess till his return,
In fear of whom my soul doth daily mourn.

1st Maid.
Madam, so please you to repose yourself
Within your chamber; leave us to our tasks;
We will not loiter, though you take your rest.

Lucrece.
Not so; you shall not overwatch yourselves
Longer than I wake with you; for it fits
Good huswives, when their husbands are from home,
To eye their servants’ labours, and in care
And the true manage[5.40] of his household state,
Earliest to rise, and to be up most late.
Since all his business he commits to me,
I’ll be his faithful steward till the camp
Dissolve, and he return; thus wives should do,
In absence of their lords be husbands too.

2nd Maid.
Madam, the Lord Turnus his man was thrice for you here, to have
entreated you home to supper; he says his lord takes it unkindly he
could not have your company.

Lucrece.
To please a loving husband, I’ll offend
The love and patience of my dearest friend.
Methinks his purpose was unreasonable,
To draw me in my husband’s absence forth
To feast and banquet; ’twould have ill become me
To have left the charge of such a spacious house
Without both lord and mistress.
I am opinioned thus: wives should not stray
Out of their doors, their husbands being away.
Lord Turnus shall excuse me.

1st Maid.
Pray, madam, set me right into my work.

Lucrece.
Being abroad, I may forget the charge
Imposed me by my lord, or be compelled
To stay out late, which, were my husband here,
Might be without distaste, but he from hence,
With late abroad, there can no excuse dispense.
Here, take your work again, a while proceed,
And then to bed; for whilst you sew I’ll read.

[_They retire_.

_Enter_ Sextus, Aruns, Valerius, Collatine, Horatius,
_and_ Scevola.

Aruns.
I would have hazarded all my hopes, my wife had not been so late
a-revelling.

Valerius.
Nor mine at this time of night a-gambolling.

Horatius.
They wear so much cork under their heels, they cannot choose but
love to caper.

Scevola.
Nothing does me good, but that if my wife were watching, all theirs
were wantoning, and if I ha’ lost, none can brag of their winnings.

Sextus.
Now, Collatine, to yours; either Lucrece must be better employed
than the rest, or you content to have her virtues rank with the
rest.

Collatine.
I am pleased.

Horatius.
Soft, soft, let’s steal upon her as upon the rest, lest having
some watch-word at our arrival, we may give her notice to be better
prepared: nay, by your leave, Collatine, we’ll limit you no
advantage.

Collatine.
See, lords, thus Lucrece revels with her maids:
Instead of riot, quaffing, and the practice
Of high lavoltoes[5.41] to the ravishing sound
Of chambering music, she, like a good huswife,
Is teaching of her servants sundry chares.--
Lucrece!

Lucrece. [_Coming forward_.]
My lord and husband, welcome, ten times welcome.
Is it to see your Lucrece you thus late
Ha’ with your person’s hazard left the camp,
And trusted to the danger of a night
So dark, and full of horror?

Aruns.
Lords, all’s lost.

Horatius.
By Jove, I’ll buy my wife a wheel,[5.42] and make her spin for
this trick.

Scevola.
If I make not mine learn to live by the prick of her needle for
this, I’m no Roman.

Collatine.
Sweet wife, salute these lords; thy continence
Hath won thy husband a Barbarian horse
And a rich coat of arms.

Lucrece.
Oh, pardon me; the joy to see my lord
Took from me all respect of their degrees.
The richest entertainment lives with us,
According to the hour, and the provision
Of a poor wife in the absence of her husband,
We prostrate to you; howsoever mean,
We thus excuse’t,--Lord Collatine away,
We neither feast, dance, quaff, riot, nor play.

Sextus.
If one woman among so many bad may be found good, if a white wench
may prove a black swan, it is Lucrece; her beauty hath relation to
her virtue, and her virtue correspondent to her beauty, and in both
she is matchless.

Collatine.
Lords, will you yield the wager?

Aruns.
Stay, the wager was as well which of our wives was fairest too; it
stretched as well to their beauty as to their continence. Who shall
judge that?

Horatius.
That can none of us, because we are all parties. Let Prince Sextus
determine it, who hath been with us, and been an eye-witness of
their beauties.

Valerius.
Agreed.

Scevola.
I am pleased with the censure of Prince Sextus.

Aruns.
So are we all.

Collatine.
I commit my Lucrece wholly to the dispose of Sextus.

Sextus.
And Sextus commits him wholly to the dispose of Lucrece.
I love the lady and her grace desire,
Nor can my love wrong what my thoughts admire.
Aruns, no question but your wife is chaste
And thrifty, but this lady knows no waste.
Valerius, yours is modest, something fair;
Her grace and beauty are without compare.
Thine, Mutius, well disposed, and of good feature,
But the world yields not so divine a creature.
Horatius, thine a smug lass and graced well,
But amongst all, fair Lucrece doth excel.
Then our impartial heart and judging eyes
This verdict gives,--fair Lucrece wins the prize.

Collatine.
Then, lords, you are indebted to me a horse and armour.

All.
We yield it.

Lucrece.
Will you taste such welcome, lords, as a poor unprovided house can
yield?

Sextus.
Gramercy, Lucrece, no; we must this night sleep by Ardea walls.

Lucrece.
But, my lords, I hope my Collatine will not so leave his Lucrece.

Sextus.
He must: we have but idled from the camp, to try a merry wager about
their wives, and this at the hazard of the King’s displeasure,
should any man be missing from his charge. The powers that govern
Rome make divine Lucrece for ever happy! Good-night.

Scevola.
But, Valerius, what thinkest thou of the country girls from whence
we came, compared with our city wives whom we this night have tried?

Valerius.
Scevola, thou shalt hear.
[_Sings_.] O yes, room for the crier,
Who never yet was found a liar!
O ye fine smug country lasses,
That would for brooks change crystal glasses,
And be transhaped from foot to crown,
And straw-beds change for beds of down;
Your partlets turn into rebatoes,[5.43]
And ’stead of carrots eat potatoes;
Your frontlets[5.44] lay by, and your rails,[5.45]
And fringe with gold your daggled tails:
Now your hawk-noses shall have hoods
And billements[5.46] with golden studs;
Straw-hats shall be no more bongraces[5.47]
From the bright sun to hide your faces;
For hempen smocks to help the itch,
Have linen, sewed with silver stitch;
And wheresoe’er they chance to stride,
One bare before to be their guide.
O yes, room for the crier,
Who never yet was found a liar!

Lucrece.
Will not my husband repose this night with me?

Horatius.
Lucrece shall pardon him: we ha’ took our leaves of our wives, nor
shall Collatine be before us, though our ladies in other things come
behind you.

Collatine.
I must be swayed: the joys and the delights
Of many thousand nights meet all in one,
To make my Lucrece happy!

Lucrece.
I am bound to your strict will. To each good-night.

Sextus.
To horse, to horse! [_Aside_.] Lucrece, we cannot rest
Till our hot lust embosom in thy breast.

[_Exeunt all but_ Lucrece.

Lucrece.
With no unkindness we should our lords upbraid;
Husbands and kings must always be obeyed.
Nothing save the high business of the state,
And the charge given him at Ardea’s siege,
Could ha’ made Collatine so much digress
From the affection that he bears his wife;
But subjects must excuse when kings claim power.
But, leaving this, before the charm of sleep
Seize with his downy wings upon my eyes,
I must go take account among my servants
Of their day’s task; we must not cherish sloth.
No covetous thought makes me thus provident,
But to shun idleness, which, wise men say,
Begets rank lust, and virtue beats away. [_Exit_.

SCENE V.--_The Road to Ardea_.

_Enter_ Sextus, Aruns, Horatius, Brutus, Scevola, _and_ Valerius.

Horatius.
Return to Rome now we are in the midway to the camp!

Sextus.
My lords, ’tis business that concerns my life:
To-morrow, if we live, we’ll visit thee.

Valerius.
Will Sextus enjoin me to accompany him?

Scevola.
Or me?

Sextus.
Nor you, nor any: ’tis important business
And serious occurrences that call me.
Perhaps, lords, I’ll commend you to your wives.
Collatine, shall I do you any service to your Lucrece?

Collatine.
Only commend me.

Sextus.
What, no private token to purchase our kind
welcome?

Collatine.
Would royal Sextus would but honour me
To bear her a slight token.

Sextus.
What?

Collatine.
This ring.

Sextus.
As I am royal I will see’t delivered.
[_Aside_.] This ring to Lucrece shall my love convey,
And in this gift thou dost thy bed betray.
To-morrow we shall meet.--This night, sweet fate,
May I prove welcome, though a guest ingrate! [_Exit_.

Aruns.
He’s for the city, we for the camp. The night
makes the way tedious and melancholy; prithee a merry
song to beguile it.

Valerius.
[_Sings_.] There was a young man and a maid fell in love,
Terry derry ding, terry derry ding, terry derry dino.
To get her good will he often did----[5.48]
Terry derry ding, terry derry ding, langtido dille.
There’s many will say, and most will allow,
Terry derry ding, terry derry ding, &c.,
There’s nothing so good as a terry derry ding, &c.
I would wish all maids before they be sick,
Terry derry, &c.
To inquire for a young man that has a good----
Terry derry, &c.

Scevola.
Nay, my lord, I heard them all have a conceit of an Englishman--a
strange people, in the western islands--one that for his variety in
habit, humour, and gesture, puts down all other nations whatsoever;
a little of that, if you love me.

Valerius.
Well, Scevola, you shall.
[_Sings_.][5.49] The Spaniard loves his ancient slop,
The Lombard his Venetian,
And some like breechless women go--
The Russ, Turk, Jew, and Grecian;
The thrifty Frenchman wears small waist,
The Dutch his belly boasteth;
The Englishman is for them all,
And for each fashion coasteth.
The Turk in linen wraps his head,
The Persian his in lawn too;
The Russ with sables furs his cap,
And change will not be drawn to;
The Spaniard’s constant to his block;
The French, inconstant ever;
But, of all felts that can be felt,
Give me your English beaver.

The German loves his cony-wool,[5.50]
The Irishman his shag[5.51] too;
The Welsh his monmouth[5.52] loves to wear,
And of the same will brag too;
Some love the rough, and some the smooth,
Some great, and others small things;
But oh, your lecherous Englishman,
He loves to deal in all things.

The Russ drinks quass; Dutch, Lubeck beer,
And that is strong and mighty;
The Briton, he metheglin quaffs;
The Irish, aquavitæ;
The French affects the Orleans grape,
The Spaniard tastes his sherry;
The English none of these can scape,
But he with all makes merry.

The Italian in her high chapine,[5.53]
Scotch lass, and lovely frau too,
The Spanish donna, French madame,
He will not fear to go to;
Nothing so full of hazard dread,
Nought lives above the centre,
No fashion, health, no wine, nor wench,
On which he dare not venture.

Horatius.
Good Valerius, this has brought us even to the skirts of the camp.
Enter, lords.

[_Exeunt_.