Chapter XV: Arabic Proverbs and Arabic Humour

The people of Topsy-turvy Land, like all orientals, are very fond of proverbs and short, bright sayings. You know that even to-day there are men who go about in the coffee shops of Arabia to tell stories, just as you have read in the Arabian Nights. Some of their stories are very interesting and some of their proverbs are wise. Others are not interesting and many of their stories are too bad to repeat. Even some of their proverbs bear the mark of their topsy-turvy religion and are only half true. Judge them for yourself. Here are fifty examples; which do you think is the best proverb among them? Are they all good?

First seek your neighbour, then build your house.

First get a companion, then go on the road.

Whoever dies in a strange land, dies a martyr.

When the judge is oppressive, the very air is, too. Don't cut your head off with your tongue.

Keep your dog hungry and he will follow you.

Leave off sin, then ask forgiveness.

Every horse knows its rider.

Talk is feminine, but a good answer is masculine.

With little food a bed tastes good.

A trotting dog is better than a sleeping lion.

Every girl is beautiful in her father's eyes.

His tongue is sweeter than dates but his hands are as hard as sticks.

There is no perfume after the wedding.

Clouds do not fear the barking of dogs.

A bird catches a bird.

Poverty is the mother of deceptions.

The fruit of haste is repentance.

That man is like the _Kaaba_; he goes nowhere but every one comes to him.

The tongue of a fool is the key to his destruction.

The needle clothes others but is itself naked.

If the owl were game to eat, the gunner would not have passed by the ruined castle.

Happy is the man whose enemy is wise.

Time is stingy of honour.

The best generosity is quick.

If your neighbour is honey, don't lick him all up.

If you don't know a man's parents look at his appearance.

What a strange world if all wool were red!

Fall but don't bawl.

Your enemy will love you when the ass becomes a doctor.

Wait, donkey, till the grass grows.

A loaned garment is not warm.

He is a hard man; his name is Rock, son of a Cliff.

The oppression of a cat is better than the justice of a rat.

While I was fishing, I was caught.

A blacksmith came to shoe the Pasha's horse and a frog in the pond stuck out her foot too.

One nettle seed will ruin a garden.

Who speaks the whole truth will get a broken head.

What's the good of a house without food?

Ask experience but don't neglect the doctor.

She wears seven veils but has no modesty.

He fasted a year and breakfasted on an onion.

A false friend is an open enemy.

They gave me no food, but the smoke from their kitchen blinded me.

When the lion is away, the hyenas play.

They said to the blind man, throw away your stick; he replied, why desert an old friend?

Haste is of the devil; deliberation, of God.

They put the dog's tail in the press forty years, and when it came out it still had a curl.

Lucky days do not come in a bunch.

Look for a thing where you lost it.

Some of these resemble our own proverbs and others may perplex you at first. Of course they are all better in Arabic than in the translation. The people of Arabia seldom or never engage in practical jokes, but they are often very witty in their remarks. The Caliph Mansur once met an Arab on the desert and said to him: "Give thanks to God who has caused the plague to cease that ravaged thy country."

"God is too good," the Arab answered, "to punish us with two such scourges at the same time as the plague and thy government."

An Arab poet sent his book to a famous author. "Dost thou want fame?" said the latter, "then hang thy book up in the market-place where all can see it."

"But how will they know the author?"

"Why, just hang yourself close to the book!"

Here is another story that is told about a Moslem preacher. One Friday when the people were gathered in the mosque to pray and to hear the sermon, he got up in the pulpit and asked the audience if they knew what he intended to preach about.

"No," they replied.

"Well, then, I shall not tell you," and he stepped down. The next Friday he asked the same question, and now, taught by experience, they answered:

"Yes, we know."

"Well, then, I need not tell you," and again he stepped down.

The third Friday when the same question was put, the people said, "Some of us know and some don't know."

"In that case," said the preacher-wag, "let those of you who know tell those that don't know." And again there was no sermon.

And now to close this chapter here is a very topsy-turvy story with a puzzle in it:

The Arabs relate that when the prophet Jonah fled from Joppa to Tarshish, there were thirty passengers, all told, in the ship. The storm grew very fierce, and out of fear, the captain determined to throw half the crew overboard, that is, fifteen men. But he knew that fifteen of the thirty were true believers, and fifteen were infidels, and among them, Jonah also. To avoid suspicion and accomplish his purpose he put the thirty men all in a row in such a way that by counting out every ninth man, the believers alone remained and the unbelievers were all of them one by one cast into the sea.

This is the way he arranged them; every _dot_ stands for an _unbeliever_, and the strokes for believers--thirty altogether.

You begin to count from the left, as the captain did, and if you mark out every ninth man you can keep on counting out the ninth men until only upright strokes are left.

From your knowledge of arithmetic, can you tell me the reason of this puzzle?

The Arabs remember the puzzle by some verses in which every dotted letter stands for an unbeliever and those that have no dots stand for Moslems.

You see that even the story of Jonah and the whale is topsy-turvy out in Arabia!