Chapter I: Preface

In submitting the following pages to the consideration of the public, I am influenced by a desire to extend the appetite which is so greedy in devouring fiction to some morsels of fact.

Several of my narratives refer to incidents which, in their disclosures, might occasion disagreeable feelings to the parties or to their kindred. In such cases, I shall adopt fictitious names; but in all the details offered to the reader, I shall include nothing which I do not firmly believe or personally know to be _strictly true_. To the former class must be referred several anecdotes derived from parental lips, and referring to years previous to my birth. In a theatre, the performers are neither applauded nor hissed from behind the scenes. The judgment which they have to encounter is that of the audience. As a literary manager, I shall leave each tragic or comic incident to the unbiassed opinion and criticism of my readers. I shall occasionally have to encounter the danger arising from allowing a great culprit to escape, or a virtuous and estimable individual to undergo misfortune. In this respect the writer of fiction possesses a vast advantage. He can lavish every worldly blessing on the deserving, and allot the direst punishments to vice and crime. But when we have to deal with stern realities, we may regret the occurrence of a fact which leaves guilt undetected and innocence in deep affliction. I can, however, safely assert, upon the experience of a long professional and official life, that vice seldom attains to great worldly prosperity, and that worth and integrity are rarely subjected to utter destitution.

It is difficult to classify anecdotes or reminiscences which are not connected with each other. The course I propose to adopt is to lay before my readers the narratives which I have derived from sources anterior to my birth, from lips truthful and occasionally humorous, but now silent for ever. I shall reserve, as far as possible, my own personal recollections for the latter part of this publication, in the hope that the amusement and information obtained from others, may soften the critical reader to an indulgent reception of the portion peculiarly connected with myself. I may remark that some anecdotes in which my name is introduced have been very extensively published in several periodicals. I accord to their authors my willing testimony as to their great imaginative power, for in the statements concerning me there is not one word of truth. My friend, Mr. Fitzpatrick, in his recent productions of "The Sham Squire" and "Ireland before the Union," has mentioned me as the source from which he derived the particulars of a few incidents in those interesting works. His unexaggerated correctness forms a strong contrast to the flippant fictions of others. However, when my name is brought before the public, in reference either to fiction or fact, it affords me some apology for appearing _in propriâ personâ_.

I cannot refrain from subjoining to this preface, with the permission of the writer, a letter which I received soon after the publication of the first edition.

F. T. P.

DUBLIN CASTLE, _29th October, 1875_.

DEAR MR. PORTER,

"I must thank you for the gratification and amusement Lady Burke
and I have found in your "Gleanings." The stories are full of
interest, and the anecdotes are told with wit, humour, and
piquancy. The volume is one of the cleverest books I have read this
long time."

Yours very truly,
J. BERNARD BURKE, ULSTER.

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I. PAGE

Lonergan's Case--Old Prisons 1

CHAPTER II.

Vesey and Keogh 6

CHAPTER III.

Mary Tudor 16

CHAPTER IV.

The Birth of a Word--A Letter of Introduction--The Honor of Knighthood 25

CHAPTER V.

A Millionaire 31

CHAPTER VI.

The Ship Street Diamond--Second-hand Plate--The Silver Slab--Law's Window--Old Newgate 33

CHAPTER VII.

Gonne's Watch 42

CHAPTER VIII.

The Major 49

CHAPTER IX.

Committals--A Barber Wanted--Dwyer the Rebel--An Extraordinary Inquest--Sergeant Greene's Horse--Christy Hughes--The Police Clerks--Recorder Walker--The Police Statutes--Preamble--A Benefit Society Case--Police Recruits--A Born Soldier 57

CHAPTER X.

Mendicancy 71

CHAPTER XI.

Carriage Court Cases--Dublin Carmen 77

CHAPTER XII.

A Gratuitous Jaunt--The Portuguese Postillion--A Few Hyperboles--Miscellaneous Summonses 88

CHAPTER XIII.

Dogs--Whipping Young Thieves--Garden Robbers--Reformatories --Apologies for Violence--Trespassers on a Nunnery 95

CHAPTER XIV.

Terry Driscoll's Fiction--Bridget Laffan--Sailors--Fisher 103

CHAPTER XV.

A Duper Duped 110

CHAPTER XVI.

Who threw the Bottle?--Excise and Customs Cases 119

CHAPTER XVII.

John Sergeant--The Magisterial Offices--Two Murders--One Reprieved--Delahunt's Crimes 127

CHAPTER XVIII.

Murder of Mr. Little--Detective Inefficiency--Individual Efficiency--A False Accusation Exposed--Extraordinary Gratitude--A Salutary Reformation--A Charge of Felony--Poor Puss, who shot her?--Baxter and Barnes 139

CHAPTER XIX.

A Run to Connaught--A Present--A Puzzle--Moll Raffle--A Lucky Accusation--Crown Witnesses--Who blew up King William?--Surgical Assistance--A Rejected Suitor--George Robins--The Greek Count: The Rats--The Child of the Alley--The Lucky Shot 153

CHAPTER XX.

O'Connell--Smith O'Brien and Meagher--John Mitchel --Informers--The Close of 1848--The Military--A French View of Popular Commotions 169

CHAPTER XXI.

Cholera: An Impatient Patient; Good News! only Typhus Fever--Royal Visits--Scotch Superiority strongly asserted--A Police Bill stigmatised--Leave of Absence--The Rhine--The Rhineland 186

CHAPTER XXII.

Brussels--Royal Children--The Great Exhibition in London--Home Again: A Preacher--Unlucky Rioters--Visit to Paris--Michel Perrin 202

CHAPTER XXIII.

The Count or Convict, which?--The Fawn's Escape 231

CHAPTER XXIV.

The Count de Coucy--Dumas--A Threatened Suicide 251

CHAPTER XXV.

Dargan's Exhibition--A Bell and Knocker--Lord Gough--Father Pecherine's Case--Assaults and Thefts--The City Militia--A Scald quickly cured--Sailors leaving their Ship 262

CHAPTER XXVI.

Effects of Enlistment--Martial Tendencies--The She Barracks--The Dublin Garrison--An Artillery Amazon--A Colonel of Dragoons--Donnybrook Fair--The Liquor Traffic 277

CHAPTER XXVII.

The College Row--The Cook Street Printer--A Question and Answer--A Barrister--An Attorney--Gibraltar 291

CHAPTER XXVIII.

Gibraltar, _continued_ 306

CHAPTER XXIX.

Gibraltar, _continued_--Departure for Home--Charity, real Charity--A Death and Funeral--The Bay of Biscay again--At Home: Leisure no Pleasure--A Review 320

CHAPTER XXX.

A Dublin Dentist 332

CHAPTER XXXI.

A Trip to the North--Metrical Attempts--Contrasts--Paris: A Fair--A Review--Nadar's Balloon--Sport, Turf, Boxing--Liquor Vehicles--No Hods--A Horse, a Dog, Rats 346

CHAPTER XXXII.

Contrasts--French Kitchens--Shops and Signs--The Seine--Trees and Flowers--A Pretty Thief--French Wit--French Silver--The Hotel des Invalides 360

CHAPTER XXXIII.

Gain preferred to Glory--Curious Inscriptions--Former Gambling--An Assault--French Charity--A Letter to Heaven 376

CHAPTER XXXIV.

Father Prout 382

CHAPTER XXXV.

A French Land Murder--Irishmen, French Ecclesiastics--Algerian Productions--Bird Charming--Brittany--Chateaubriand 387

CHAPTER XXXVI.

The Arran Islands--Circuit Reminiscences--Conclusion 396

TWENTY YEARS' RECOLLECTIONS OF AN IRISH POLICE MAGISTRATE.