Chapter I: Part I: The Baby's Baedeker

I. ABROAD 3

II. UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 6

III. GREAT BRITAIN 9

IV. SCOTLAND 11

V. IRELAND 13

VI. WALES 15

VII. CHINA 16

VIII. FRANCE 19

IX. GERMANY 21

X. HOLLAND 23

XI. ICELAND 26

XII. ITALY 27

XIII. JAPAN 30

XIV. PORTUGAL 32

XV. RUSSIA 33

XVI. SPAIN 36

XVII. SWITZERLAND 39

XVIII. TURKEY 41

XIX. DREAMLAND 44

XX. STAGELAND 47

XXI. LOVERLAND 48

XXII. HOMELAND 53

PART II

_CHILDISH COMPLAINTS AND OTHER RUTHLESS RHYMES_

CHILDISH COMPLAINTS--

PRELUDE 57

APPENDICITIS 61

WHOOPING-COUGH 61

MEASLES 62

ADENOIDS 62

CROUP 62

RUTHLESS RHYMES--

I. MOTHER-WIT 63

II. UNCLE JOE 64

III. AUNT ELIZA 65

IV. ABSENT-MINDEDNESS 66

V. JOHN 68

VI. BABY 71

VII. THE CAT 72

PART III

_PERVERTED PROVERBS_

I. 'VIRTUE IS ITS OWN REWARD' 77

II. 'ENOUGH IS AS GOOD AS A FEAST' 86

III. 'DON'T BUY A PIG IN A POKE' 89

IV. 'LEARN TO TAKE THINGS EASILY' 91

V. 'A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS' 92

VI. 'IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND' 96

VII. 'A BAD WORKMAN COMPLAINS OF HIS TOOLS' 99

VIII. 'DON'T LOOK A GIFT-HORSE IN THE MOUTH' 100

IX. POTPOURRI 103