Chapter III: Matrimony--Is It a Vocation?

Q. How do you prove that matrimony is a vocation?

A. Matrimony is a fixed manner of living, established by Almighty God: "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." St. Paul, speaking of matrimony, says: "This is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the Church."

Q. If matrimony is a vocation from God, why are many married people unhappy?

A. Because many of these people do not correspond with the graces of this state; some enter it without the proper motives, others embrace it without being called to it by Almighty God.

Q. Is a special vocation necessary in order to secure salvation in the marriage state?

A. Most certainly, because the state itself is from God, and a person's consort should be the choice of God: "Houses and riches are from parents: but a prudent wife is _properly from the Lord."_

God made special choice of Rebecca to be the wife of Isaac: "Let the same be the woman whom the _Lord hath prepared for_ my master's son."

Sara was God's choice as the wife of young Tobias: "The God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob be with you, and may _He join you_ together, and fulfil His blessing in you."

Q. Can you give a Scripture example illustrating this doctrine more forcibly?

A. Yes; when the Angel Raphael advised young Tobias to take Sara for his wife, Tobias answered: "I hear that she hath been given to seven husbands, and they all died; moreover, I have heard that a devil killed them. Now I am afraid, lest the same thing happen to me also."

The angel then showed Tobias that those seven husbands had been given over to the power of the devil because in their marriage they lost sight of the designs of God, and were guided by unworthy motives. "The angel said to him: Hear me, and I will show thee who they are, over whom the devil can prevail: _They who in such manner receive matrimony,_ as to _shut out God_ from themselves, and from _their mind,_ and give themselves to their lust; . . . over them the _devil hath power."_

Q. What is the doctrine of St Basil on this subject?

A. St. Basil says: "What means 'to marry in the Lord' except to embrace that holy state _only in accordance with the will of God,_ consulting only reason and faith, to learn whether you follow the course to which _God calls you?"_

Q. What is the proverb, or "saying," among the old folks about marriage?

A. There is a "saying" among the old folks that "happy marriages are made in heaven" (made by Almighty God). This "saying" is in fact the summing up of experience, of the teaching of the Fathers, of the Sacred Scriptures, and of the Church on this subject.

If Jesus and Mary do not preside at marriages, the devil will surely usurp their place. "He that is not with Me is against Me; and he that gathereth not with Me, scattereth."

Q. What does the venerable Louis de Ponte teach on the subject of matrimony?

A. The venerable Louis de Ponte says: "God is not only the author of matrimony, but He brings to that state, by a _special providence,_ those whom _He wishes_ to be in it. He acts thus both for the good of society and for the happiness of individuals; and, although according to the teaching of the Church, 'it is better and more perfect to observe virginity than to engage in matrimony,' yet Divine Providence is not less admirable in the matter of vocations to the marriage state than in vocations to perpetual continence.

"It is, then, very important to weigh these matters carefully, and to examine well whether a person is called to a more perfect state before deciding to enter the marriage state."